1 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:06,214 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,340 {\an8}[Muzak playing] 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,759 {\an8}[worker on PA] Attention, shoppers. A mother's love is forever 4 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:13,555 {\an8}but Mother's Love Rat Poison is only on sale till the end of the day. 5 00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,808 {\an8}Aw. 6 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,440 {\an8}Mommy! I was waiting by the window. 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,191 {\an8}Can I carry the bag with the milks? 8 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,776 {\an8}I'm really strong. 9 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,319 {\an8}[grunts] 10 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,697 {\an8}I drew you picture. 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,240 {\an8}Yes, she did. 12 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,200 {\an8}She drew it in pudding. 13 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,037 {\an8}[Marge] Oh. Pretty. 14 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,663 {\an8}But we should clean that up. 15 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:40,457 {\an8}- No! - [Homer grunting] 16 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,541 {\an8}- No, no! - Fine, fine, fine. 17 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,460 {\an8}- No kill Pudding Mommy! - Pudding Mommy can stay. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,670 {\an8}You should've seen her when I ate part of Ketchup Daddy. 19 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:48,506 {\an8}- [wailing] No! - Look what I got. 20 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:49,632 {\an8}- [Bart gasps] - [Lisa] Ah! 21 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,302 {\an8}- Oh, I love you, love you, love you. - [Lisa grunting] 22 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,512 {\an8}Oh, let's play bubbles now. 23 00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:55,680 {\an8}[laughs] 24 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,390 {\an8}[both laughing] 25 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,601 {\an8}This is a perfect moment. 26 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,187 {\an8}[sobbing] 27 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,190 {\an8}Marge, what's wrong? 28 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,776 {\an8}It-- It's slipping away. 29 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,778 {\an8}You need to stop that. 30 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,821 {\an8}W-W-What did you say? 31 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:12,906 {\an8}Bart! 32 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,075 {\an8}- Whee! I'm flying! - [Marge grunts] 33 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,159 {\an8}Bart! Bart! 34 00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,995 {\an8}What-- What is happening? [groans] 35 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,791 {\an8}No! [shouts] 36 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,375 Ooh! [groans] 37 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:25,460 Oh, no. 38 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,212 Oh. He popped. 39 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:30,006 No, no. Don't sue me, Dracula! 40 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,967 [groans] Did you say something? 41 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:37,347 Oh. I was dreaming about those bubble parties we used to have with the kids. 42 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,599 - [Homer] Mmm. - But I was so sad. 43 00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,351 Why were you sad? 44 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,020 Because I knew it was gonna end. 45 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,855 [yawns] 46 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:46,940 I get it. 47 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,360 That's why, for me, the last foot of a six-foot party sub... 48 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,654 - [Marge groans] - ...is bittersweet. 49 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,406 [gasps] Honey, you're drenched. 50 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,617 [groans] It's bubble juice. 51 00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,703 Oh, honey, you don't look so good. 52 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,622 I mean, I think you look great, 53 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:06,084 but someone else-- say, a doctor-- might be alarmed 54 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,337 at your pale skin that is both hot and cold. 55 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:14,134 Why did we eat at Tuesday O'Fridayhans last night? [groans] 56 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,512 I had three glasses of frosé. 57 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,973 And a couple Froz-oody Marys. 58 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,308 [chuckles] We got pretty hammered. 59 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:26,813 Ugh. And then we bought hot dogs from that sketchy street vendor. 60 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,774 Oh, but they smelled so good. 61 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,568 - Wrapped in bacon... - Hmm? 62 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,570 - ...sizzling in that hubcap. - [gags] 63 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,155 [gagging] 64 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,949 [retching] 65 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,826 - [Homer] Mmm. [groans] - [Marge retches] 66 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,119 Homer, don't listen. 67 00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,203 We have to keep the... 68 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,122 [retches] 69 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,999 ...romance alive. 70 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:48,835 [sighs] 71 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,171 I wonder why you didn't get sick. 72 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,174 The clinical term is "I'm all throwed up." 73 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,842 Should we call Dr. Hibbert? 74 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,303 No. Oh, no, no, no, I'm-I'm good now. 75 00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,470 It's all gone. 76 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,264 I'm all better. 77 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,141 Ooh, Bounce-A-Thon is tomorrow. 78 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,642 I don't think you're gonna make it. 79 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,728 I'll call the school in the morning. 80 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,272 [groans] I have to go. 81 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:13,985 I volunteered for three jobs on PTA-Martyr.com. 82 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:18,198 [yawns] Frickin' PTA-Martyr.com. 83 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,158 - [snores] - [clock ticking] 84 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,868 - Where is he? - [Bart giggles] 85 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,077 Peekaboo. 86 00:03:23,077 --> 00:03:25,830 - [gasps] Oh. - [Bart laughs] 87 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,373 - Where is he? - [ticking continues] 88 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,751 Where's my special little guy? 89 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,212 - Bart, where are you? - [ticking stops] 90 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,588 [Bart whispering] Don't let go. 91 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,256 - [whimpers] - [footsteps] 92 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,341 [Marge] Hmm? 93 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,259 [kindergartners chattering] 94 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,594 It's okay. 95 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,641 Oh, your coat. 96 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,018 [Bart chuckling] 97 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,394 - Bart? - [bell dinging] 98 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,479 [laughing] 99 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,813 Can somebody help me? 100 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,565 I've lost my little boy. 101 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,983 - Bart! - [dinging continues] 102 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,109 Oh, no. 103 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,779 I was just about to beat these mutant houseflies at tennis. 104 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,030 What do you want? 105 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,116 I've lost my-- my-my little boy. 106 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:03,993 [Homer's voice] You know this is a dream, right? 107 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,078 [didgeridoo drones] 108 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,497 [droning] Beer. 109 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,874 Well, that would explain a lot. 110 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,752 [Homer's voice] Yeah. In the waking world, I'm not great at didgeridoo. 111 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:16,547 Is this one of those dreams where you know you're dreaming? 112 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,840 There's a name for it. 113 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,509 Somebody once told me. 114 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,135 {\an8}I'm the one who told you. 115 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,512 {\an8}That's right. 116 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,389 I'm your inner Lisa. 117 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:27,350 I remember everything Lisa ever said to you 118 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,936 exactly the way you heard it. 119 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,020 Really? 120 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,774 So you can tell me what Lisa said about dreaming when you know you're dreaming? 121 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:39,153 {\an8}Yep. It's a scientifical concept called Lucy dreaming. 122 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:42,615 {\an8}It was invented by sleep doctors from a country somewhere. 123 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,451 Wow. She's as smart as Old Sheldon. 124 00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:50,623 Since this is your Lucy dream, you control everything that happens. 125 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,501 So I'm the one making Homer an otter? 126 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,879 Yes. He appears in many forms in your dreams. 127 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,882 {\an8}Dad's an otter because yesterday he was lying 128 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,802 {\an8}in a kiddie pool eating nachos off his belly. 129 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,555 It's a table that's always with me. 130 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,098 [Lisa] Sometimes Dad's a clown, 131 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,226 sometimes a potato, sometimes a clown potato. 132 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,563 And sometimes he's both of the Property Brothers. 133 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,981 [Homer's voice] Why am I these guys? 134 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,317 Ah-- Never mind. I know why. [chuckles] 135 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,278 But why am I having nightmares about Bart? 136 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,779 Did something happen? 137 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,157 How do I look at recent memories? 138 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,075 It's your Lucy dream. You decide. 139 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,162 Oh. So I can decide that all my thoughts from yesterday 140 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,081 are stored in, I don't know, the oven? 141 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,374 Sure. Why not? 142 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,459 [Marge] Hmm. 143 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,377 Hmm? 144 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,590 {\an8}Hmm. [clicks tongue] Here we go. 145 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,176 [Bart] Mom, come quick! 146 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,260 [Marge] Whoa! 147 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,429 {\an8}I'm here. I'm here. Bart, what happened? 148 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,473 {\an8}- Splinter. - Oh. 149 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,433 {\an8}- That's it? - Well, it's kind of bleeding. 150 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,185 Maybe not. 151 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,146 [gasps] When did your hands get so big? 152 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,814 They're bigger than mine. 153 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,275 I don't know. Maybe I got freaky-big hands. 154 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,526 Tweeze, please. 155 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:07,200 I guess it's been a while since we held hands. 156 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,285 - Ew. Did you get it? - Mmm. 157 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,370 Thanks. 158 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,164 So that's why you're having nightmares. 159 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,125 Bart is super rude and full of splinters. 160 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,251 Maybe. 161 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,338 Or maybe I'm just sick off hubcap hot dogs. 162 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,799 Why would awake-me eat those? 163 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,051 That doesn't seem like awake-me. 164 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,221 After enough booze slushies, you think you can do anything. 165 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,640 I challenged the valet to an arm wrestle 166 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,726 but he turned out to be just a sign. 167 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:39,524 Why was I drinking frozen wine in a casual dining chain restaurant on a school night? 168 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,818 I don't know. After our meeting with Bart's teacher, 169 00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,319 you said you needed a drink. 170 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:44,445 [Marge] Hmm. 171 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,697 {\an8}Hmm. 172 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,325 Mmm. Whoa! 173 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,452 - [children laughing, echoing] - Look, whatever Bart did, 174 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,456 we'll pay to have it cleaned or replaced or for its therapy or-- 175 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,333 Bart hasn't done anything. 176 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,794 I'm meeting with all the parents, even the normal kids. [shouts] 177 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,337 Bart is normal. 178 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,798 I-I mean, we don't say normal anymore. 179 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,883 I mean, I-I'm talking to all the parents. 180 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:06,968 You're not special. 181 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,428 I-I mean, you are. [chuckles] But-- 182 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,012 What did you wanna talk about? 183 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,432 As you know, Bounce-A-Thon means 184 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,642 we're getting close to the end of the year, 185 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:18,563 so it's a good time to talk about the transition to fifth grade. 186 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,358 You know, last year of elementary school, and then it's on to middle school, then-- 187 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:23,526 Middle school? 188 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,861 [rumbling] 189 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,071 Then everything changes. 190 00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:30,741 - Girls, acne, drugs, body odor. - [Marge] Hmm? 191 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,952 - [Marge groans] - Listen, I've taught fifth grade. 192 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,079 Please buy your fifth grader deodorant. 193 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:39,250 Like, real deodorant, not the "natural" stuff. 194 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:44,547 They may look like children, but they smell like nervous cab drivers. 195 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,800 The point is, don't freak out. 196 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,219 Okay, about what? 197 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:51,804 Well, some parents start thinking, 198 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:55,266 "Oh, no, this is the end of my kid's childhood." [chuckles] 199 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:58,686 But fifth grade isn't the end of Bart's childhood. Right? 200 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,939 I mean, technically, it is the last year of it. [chuckles] 201 00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,399 [gasping] 202 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,528 Did you find out what happened to Bart? 203 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,780 It's what's going to happen. 204 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,699 He's going to grow up. 205 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:12,783 [Homer groans] 206 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,161 Damn kid. 207 00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,541 - It was such a strange dream. - [pen scratching] 208 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,961 Bart was four and he was so adorable. 209 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,796 I'd almost forgotten there was a time 210 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:29,634 when Bart was the sweet one and Lisa was the difficult one. 211 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,678 Uh, to be fair, I'm only 18 months old, 212 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:38,309 so to be going through my terrible twos now is actually pretty advanced. [grunts] 213 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,102 Crap, I'm still dreaming. 214 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,187 [gasps] 215 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:42,855 Bounce-A-Thon! 216 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,234 I'm coming too. 217 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,568 - [Lisa] Yay! - [Bart] Aren't you sick? 218 00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,819 I thought I heard you barfing. 219 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,155 {\an8}No, that wasn't barfing. 220 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,033 {\an8}That was loud, sloshy burps-- 221 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,077 {\an8}- [gags, gulps] - [both groan] 222 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,622 I signed up for snacks, so I have to make marshmallow treat-- 223 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,666 [gags] I can do this. 224 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,834 Just have to melt some margar-- [gags] 225 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:08,005 Don't worry. Super-Dad is already making the marshmallow treats. 226 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:10,049 Which Krispies did you use? 227 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,425 Rice or Cocoa? 228 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,510 I'm making my own. 229 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,179 The rice is "krispying" as we speak. 230 00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,683 - Whoa. - [gags] Oh, it smells like you burnt it. 231 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:22,228 No problem. I'll moisten it with the last of the eggnog. 232 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,438 [Marge groans, gags] 233 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,734 I'm throwing up stuff I ate years ago. 234 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,153 I think I saw wedding cake. 235 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,322 You really should stay home. 236 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:35,741 [sighs] Maybe you're right. [groans] 237 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,953 This will be the first Bounce-A-Thon I've ever missed. 238 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,871 Oh, missing stuff is the greatest. 239 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,456 When I do stuff, 240 00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:44,709 I have a fear of missing out on missing out. 241 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,711 You know, FO-MOO-MO. 242 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,255 Homer, listen, you have to do this for me. 243 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:53,884 Take a picture of each kid giving a thumbs-up at the finish line. 244 00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,636 {\an8}It's for my scrapbook. 245 00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,556 I've already made windows for each school year. 246 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:02,310 [groans] Bart, thumbs-up slowly past Daddy. 247 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,811 Give him time to focus. 248 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:09,859 Mom, there's no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just gonna say it. 249 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,737 At school, I'm becoming known for taking cutting-edge, 250 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,739 no-holds-barred comedy photos. 251 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,823 It's true. 252 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,409 I've heard fifth graders say so. 253 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,828 So, w-what are-- what are you saying? 254 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,831 There's no way I can do a thumbs-up at Bounce-A-Thon. 255 00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:24,915 What? 256 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:27,918 It will ruin the brand I've been building since picture day. 257 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:32,131 My fans expect me to top inside-out eyelids and Scotch Tape nose. 258 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,175 You don't understand the pressure I'm under. 259 00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:39,263 {\an8}But this is for the Bounce-A-Thon album. So you'll always remember Bounce-A-Thon. 260 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:42,350 But... [sighs] ...I don't even like Bounce-A-Thon. 261 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,269 I'm making fun of Bounce-A-Thon. 262 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,687 {\an8}What? 263 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:51,108 None of us kids like Bounce-A-Thon. It's not very cool. 264 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,194 Well, you thought it was cool last year. 265 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,616 Bart, just one thumbs-up, please. 266 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:03,913 [sighs] I'm sorry, but no. Crazy pictures is my thing now. 267 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,375 You should respect that this is just how I am this year. 268 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,670 Bart, you sound so mature and grown-up. 269 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,964 [sobbing] I hate that. 270 00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:16,300 [sobs] 271 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,387 [snores] 272 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,888 [crickets chirping] 273 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:22,431 - [creature growls] - [Marge gasps] 274 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,141 [Homer's voice] Run! Something's coming! 275 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,643 - [Marge gasps] - [creature growls] 276 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,894 [Marge panting] 277 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,439 - This is silly. I don't need symbolism. - [growling] 278 00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:32,692 I know what I'm afraid of and it's not a bear. 279 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,984 - [bear grunts] - Sorry. 280 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,320 [bear grunts, mutters] 281 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,156 [sighs] It's not a nightmare. 282 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,951 It's reality. Bart's growing up. 283 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,663 I should have treasured every time he held my hand, 284 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,833 because I don't remember when he stopped. 285 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,961 The poet Khalil LeBron once said, 286 00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,383 "Parents are bows-- like bow-and-arrow bows"... 287 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,467 [Marge] Hmm. 288 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,304 ..."from which children are shot forth as an arrow thingy." 289 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,935 The bow doesn't feel sad when it sees how far and true the arrow flies. 290 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,980 Well, the bow feels a little sad. 291 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,023 The bow doesn't wanna lose touch, 292 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:16,360 and the arrow has never been great about answering texts. 293 00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,615 But even after Bart grows up, you'll still have Lisa and Maggie. 294 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:27,413 Oh, my God. Lisa and Maggie. It's going to happen with all of them. [groans] 295 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,497 - Oops. - [Marge groans] 296 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,207 [rumbling] 297 00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,042 Bart is just the beginning. 298 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,756 [echoing] One by one... 299 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,177 all my babies will leave the nest. 300 00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:46,140 [echoing] I'm gonna lose all of them. 301 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,652 Honey, we mustn't break awake-you's brain. 302 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:02,656 Remember those commercials where they show you what depression is like? 303 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:07,036 A rain cloud follows you everywhere. You get sucked into sofas. 304 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,831 And when it gets really bad, your windup monkey stops clapping. 305 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,500 [gasps] 306 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,710 Look. Look, Bart's at a playground. 307 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:18,380 Bart. Bart, they have your favorite back-and-forth riding thingy. 308 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,883 [muffled] The duck, Bart. Ride the duck! 309 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,676 [muffled] Bart! 310 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,681 No! 311 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,142 [children chattering] 312 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:33,187 Okay. Maybe I am being a teensy bit negative. 313 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:40,528 [Homer's voice] Okay. A little brain hurricane. 314 00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:44,782 My time as a mom will eventually come to an end. 315 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:48,536 I'll have to fill my days with a bunch of stupid hobbies. 316 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,539 I don't want an Etsy storefront! 317 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:56,085 It's not happening now so it's silly to be sad about it now. 318 00:13:56,085 --> 00:14:00,673 It's like going to work on time. There's no point. 319 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,967 I wanna show you something. [grunting] 320 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,638 [grunting] 321 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,806 [Marge] Whoa! 322 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,934 I'm coming too. 323 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,310 - [Lisa] Yay! - [Bart] Aren't you sick? 324 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,562 I thought I heard you barfing. 325 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,188 - Freeze it right there. - [tape clicks] 326 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:21,110 Now, watch it again. But this time, look over here. 327 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,695 [tape rewinds] 328 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,030 I'm coming too. 329 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,115 Yay! 330 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:31,954 [singsongy] Mommy's coming. Yes, she is. Do-do-do-do-do. My mom. Uh-huh! 331 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,748 She's rehearsing her thumbs-up. 332 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,000 Oh. 333 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,295 Oh, I was so sad that Bart had outgrown the Bounce-A-Thon 334 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,840 I couldn't see that my sweet Lisa still loves it. 335 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,302 For now. Next year she'll probably turn on it too. 336 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,138 Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to get out of the dark place, please. 337 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:53,893 [grunts] You're right. Bounce-A-Thon still means a lot to Lisa. 338 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,187 So, what are you? Like, my feelings police? 339 00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,272 [chuckling] No, 340 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:01,609 I'm pretty sure I'm here 'cause, deep down, you're attracted to me. 341 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:06,739 The uniform, the low center of gravity, my thick syrupy voice. Heh. 342 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,490 I don't think so. 343 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,075 If anything, I'm into Eddie. 344 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,578 Yeah, he's a beautiful man. 345 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,957 I love that Lisa was so happy I was gonna be there. 346 00:15:16,957 --> 00:15:19,168 I should be there for her. 347 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,714 I've got to get to the Bounce-A-Thon before Lisa's childhood slips away. 348 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,341 How could I wake myself up? 349 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,301 Oh, well, this will do it. 350 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,639 [gasps, grunts] 351 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,351 Okay. Looking good. Feeling good. 352 00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:36,894 [gags] 353 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,520 [retches] 354 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,482 Even better now. 355 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:44,902 [pants] I'll be there, Lisa. I won't miss it. 356 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,904 [radio presenter] ...or a pickle-and-egg sandwich 357 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,615 - from Joey Mayonnaise's Sandwich Creamery. - [Marge groaning] 358 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,910 Where the hospitality is as warm as the mayonnai-- 359 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,244 [Marge grunting] 360 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,331 [retches] 361 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:02,586 Okay, I ruined the car. But Mommy's s-still coming, Lisa. 362 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:03,671 [gasps] 363 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,422 Okay, here we go. 364 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,469 Oh, I gotta sign up. Okay. Username? 365 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,721 Uh, uh. Bounce-Mom. 366 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,264 Taken. Fine. 367 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,392 Uh, Barf-Mom. 368 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,060 Taken, really? 369 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,104 Borf-Mom. 370 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189 What? Oh, come on. 371 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:25,693 Marge. Oh, that worked. 372 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,491 [retches] 373 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,495 [retches] 374 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,122 [snores] 375 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:40,624 [shouts, pants] 376 00:16:40,624 --> 00:16:41,792 I'm here, Lisa. 377 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,752 [upbeat music playing on speakers] 378 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:49,383 I promised to wear this humorous wig for Bounce-A-Thon if we had 30 lice-free days 379 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:54,013 and, uh, well, we had 29 but I'm just gonna assume that today is gonna go well. 380 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:58,058 "And on the bounce track right now, the second grade." 381 00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,727 [gasps] That's Lisa's class. 382 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,353 - [thuds] - [microphone feedback] 383 00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:02,896 [Principal Skinner grunts] 384 00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,982 [Marge] Excuse me. Excuse me, let me through. 385 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,192 I'm here to support my child. 386 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:12,406 Yeah. Well, guess what, Princess Blue? We're all here to support our kids. 387 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,117 So stick that in your G-string and make change. 388 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,203 I'm sorry. I'm very, very sick, and I just-- 389 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,539 Sick? W-W-What kind of sick? 390 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:25,711 I don't know. Some kind of, um, I don't know, pox or plague. 391 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,421 - [parents muttering] - [Kirk] Oh, boy. 392 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,505 [Marge chuckles] 393 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:35,888 [sniffs, groans] Oh, no. Food smells. It's okay. I'll just hold my breath. 394 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,474 - [person 1] Mmm. - [person 2] Churro. 395 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,561 - [person 3] Seafood. - [person 4] What are you gonna get? 396 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,146 [person 5] Or should I have sushi? 397 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,565 Must get picture. 398 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:47,775 [gagging] 399 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,157 [Ms. Peyton, echoing] Mrs. Simpson? 400 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,241 [Marge, echoing] Huh? 401 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,410 Did-- Did I get the picture? 402 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,495 [grunts] 403 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,830 [groaning] No. Huh? 404 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:04,500 I took a photo after I passed out? 405 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,170 Yeah. We had to pry the phone from your hand. 406 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,090 I've been kind of a wreck since our meeting. 407 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,259 You know, when you said Bart's childhood is over. 408 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,013 [gasps] I did not say that. I would never say that. 409 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,682 Bart's childhood isn't over. 410 00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:25,771 I did notice that you got very quiet after I mentioned middle school. 411 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,648 You didn't say anything else. 412 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,859 Except to ask about happy hour at Tuesday O'Fridayhans. 413 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:36,198 Wait, you didn't say he was heading toward girls and drugs and acne? 414 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,867 No, of course not. 415 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,869 Oh, my gosh. That was a dream. 416 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:44,248 I should have noticed that you were 17' tall. 417 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,126 I ate bad things last night. 418 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,629 And you didn't say we needed to buy Bart deodorant next year. 419 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,049 Oh, no, no, no. I did say that. That part is very important. 420 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,760 Strong deodorant. 421 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,347 Hey. Bart's got a lot of childhood left. 422 00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:05,310 I mean, he scores in the 50th percentile for knowing his right and left which is-- 423 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:10,232 oh, not a test score I should have said out loud at a school function. [sighs] 424 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,859 Are you going to be okay? 425 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:17,865 Yes. I'm just gonna lie here until the school stops spinning. 426 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,783 [snores] 427 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,076 [breathes deeply] 428 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:22,369 Feeling better? 429 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,745 [Marge] Mm-hmm. 430 00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:28,542 I missed the picture, but Lisa was so happy to see me today. 431 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,711 So for now, I'm happy. 432 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,713 And who knows what the future holds? 433 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,756 Bart could knock up his high school girlfriend. 434 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,968 You could have grandchildren before Maggie starts kindergarten. 435 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:40,679 Wouldn't that be nice? Mmm. 436 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,518 [sighs] Time to wake up. [grunts] 437 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,521 [gasps, sighs] 438 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,858 Here he comes. 439 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,862 Mmm. My funny little guy. 440 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,619 [crowd gasps] 441 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,996 - [laughing] Th-- Th-- - [Homer] Huh? 442 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:10,000 - Th-That's really good. [laughs] - [Homer, Lisa chuckle] 443 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,337 [pants] Did you get the picture? Was my crack centered? 444 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,089 Oh, Bart. It was perfect. 445 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,674 You liked it? 446 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,676 I loved it! 447 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:20,969 Thanks. 448 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:24,097 Wanna go to the dunk tank? The gym teacher I hate is on the chair. 449 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,182 Sure. 450 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600 Oh. 451 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,602 [Bart chuckles] 452 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,813 [sniffles] Let's dunk that sucker. 453 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:38,987 [sniffs] And on the way home, let's go deodorant shopping.