1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,425
Art lovers of Springfield, good news.
2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,094
The art museum is closed forever.
3
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,762
[scattered applause]
4
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:16,016
{\an8}Instead, our entire collection
will be digitized
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:22,355
{\an8}and sold for a fortune on the blockchain
as non-fungible tokens or NFTs,
6
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,941
{\an8}whatever the hell those are.
7
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,151
{\an8}[chuckles]
8
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:30,155
{\an8}Now, let's turn some of our crappy art
into computer money.
9
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,700
{\an8}Starting with a true masterpiece, my butt.
10
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:40,957
{\an8}Uh, Dad.
11
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,959
{\an8}[yelps] Technology!
12
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,085
{\an8}[phone beeps]
13
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,547
{\an8}I've lost Bart forever.
14
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:51,801
{\an8}No!
15
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:52,927
{\an8}[phone beeps]
16
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:56,473
{\an8}Yes!
17
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:04,355
{\an8}Honey, remember how we're always saying
we wish Bart was less fungible?
18
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,024
{\an8}Did something happen to Bart?
19
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,484
{\an8}Only the parts you can hug.
20
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:10,278
{\an8}The rest is alive right here on my phone.
21
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:13,865
{\an8}[screams] My baby is an app.
22
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,867
{\an8}Uh, no. Apps actually do stuff.
23
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,870
{\an8}He's an NFT. But look how much he's worth.
24
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:23,249
{\an8}[gasps] For Bart? Hmm,
imagine what we'd get for Lisa.
25
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,420
{\an8}He is the first NFT of an actual person.
26
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,546
{\an8}I don't care.
27
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,757
{\an8}We've gotta find a way to get him back.
28
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:35,136
{\an8}[distorted, echoing] To do that,
you yourself must enter the blockchain.
29
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,262
{\an8}Who are you?
30
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:40,558
{\an8}We are the enlightened intellects
who safeguard the cryptoverse.
31
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,230
[Homer] Kylie Jenner,
Rob Gronkowski and Jimmy Fallon.
32
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,315
I thought you were just celebrity shills.
33
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,527
Ugh. We would never promote a technology
34
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,863
if we didn't understand
the distributed ledger underpinning it.
35
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:54,948
Der!
36
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,659
I can't stop laughing, buddy.
37
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,827
[Homer] Shut up!
38
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,495
You ruined "Cowbell"!
39
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,461
This key is a back door through
the blockchain's cryptographic protocol.
40
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:15,176
Once you're inside, find Bart
and use it to get both of you out.
41
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,511
[Rob grunts]
42
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,811
Huh. So this is the blockchain.
43
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,062
No, noob.
44
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,772
This is the block-train.
45
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,526
[digital turtle] Speeding forever
through the loveless icy world
46
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,319
{\an8}created by Crypto Bros.
47
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:36,531
Powered by the most abundant fuel
in the universe:
48
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:40,034
{\an8}FOMO, the fear of missing out.
49
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:43,997
For a digital incarnation
of an abstract mathematical concept,
50
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,790
it could use a good dusting.
51
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:49,127
[British accent] Well, that's because
this is the last car of the train, innit?
52
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,630
The dwelling place of NFTs with no value,
53
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:56,968
which is 99% of all NFTs ever created.
54
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,973
Hmm. I guess being the second-ever
human NFT isn't worth a whole lot.
55
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,558
Where do they keep my son?
56
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:07,395
[French accent] At the very front
of the train where you can never go.
57
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:08,563
Watch me.
58
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,648
[grunting]
59
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:11,774
[NFTs laugh]
60
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,195
[cracks]
61
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:21,534
[retches] You killed Ennui Oeuf 116.
[retches]
62
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,328
[groans] Hmm?
63
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,747
[electrical humming]
64
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,124
Congratulations.
65
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,711
You've moved up the train
because you are now as valuable as us,
66
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,254
the Cuddle Kittens.
67
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,465
That's why there's an Internet.
68
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,925
For looking at cats.
69
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,885
But why am I worth more?
70
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:42,972
Because you killed another NFT.
What you call mindless slaughter,
71
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:46,517
Crypto Bros call disruption
and then pour cash into it.
72
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:50,396
So to rescue Bart,
I need to kill a bunch of you guys.
73
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,025
[Marge grunts]
74
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,904
Ooh.
75
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,156
Well, I guess I gotta do this.
76
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,283
[cats yowling]
77
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,286
Sorry. Nothing personal.
78
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:11,709
- Hope you can't feel pain.
- [cats screeching]
79
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:57,171
{\an8}[Lisa] Mom's price is skyrocketing.
Look at the FOMO.
80
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,882
Now everyone's gonna want human NFTs.
81
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,678
Dad, you said you were taking me
to Bumper Boats.
82
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,139
{\an8}I am. Have some more chocolate milk.
83
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:13,271
No one is putting another child
into that scanner before mine.
84
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:15,982
[Chief Wiggum grunting]
85
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,066
Hey!
86
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,114
Please kill Ralphouse.
87
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,533
- [grunting]
- [squelches]
88
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:32,206
The front of the train.
89
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,791
I made it.
90
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,295
Bart, we're getting out of here!
91
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,672
Whoa, Mom. What's the rush?
92
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:42,216
Grab yourself a Jaded Ape
and take a load off.
93
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,968
Mine was stolen from Seth Green.
94
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,136
[Jaded Ape grunts]
95
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:46,971
You never like my friends.
96
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,057
Mom's almost got Bart out.
97
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,976
Don't let your son
become a worthless human again.
98
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:55,396
Sell him to me for $100 million.
99
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,106
- Hmm.
- No, Dad!
100
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,067
If you sell Bart to Mr. Burns,
101
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,861
he'll be trapped
on the blockchain forever.
102
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,948
But this is my chance not to miss out
after I've missed out on everything.
103
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,201
The housing bubble, the first tech bubble,
104
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,037
the second tech bubble,
the current tech bubble.
105
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:15,708
Just one time, I wanna be the guy
that gives all his money to Bernie Madoff.
106
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,293
Mom, get out of there.
107
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,628
Dad's gonna crack.
108
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:22,507
[dramatic music playing]
109
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,059
He did it.
110
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,644
I can't believe he did it.
111
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:38,815
We made it.
112
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:41,401
Where's Homer? I wanna tell him
the inside of his phone smells.
113
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,611
He-- He sold himself.
114
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:47,990
He was so afraid of missing out,
he tokened his own life.
115
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,076
Woo-hoo!
116
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,246
Eternity on a super swanky train.
117
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,748
Ooh! Twerked chicken.
118
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,585
[metal clanging]
119
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,422
What happened?
120
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,383
Our FOMO, it's gone.
121
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,388
The NFT craze is over.
122
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:14,934
D'oh!
123
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,648
Ah, the romance of train travel.
124
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,904
{\an8}["For He Is an Englishman" playing]
125
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:31,242
♪ And it's clearly to his credit ♪
126
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:36,164
♪ That he is an Englishman ♪
127
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,583
♪ He remains ♪
128
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:44,881
♪ An English-- ♪
129
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:50,428
Wait. Did you only ask me
to sing to forestall your gruesome end?
130
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,013
{\an8}Guilty as charged.
131
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,976
- [Bart grunts]
- [Sideshow Bob] Aha! Aha!
132
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,728
- Ha!
- [screaming]
133
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,564
Ha!
134
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:10,490
It was only by following my hunch
that we found the Eastside Strangler
135
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,325
on the west side of town.
136
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,119
Can you explain
how you overcame childhood trauma
137
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:18,080
to become the nation's most renowned
criminal psychologist?
138
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,000
For that story,
you'll have to read my book.
139
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,335
{\an8}[bell rings]
140
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,712
[student] Finally. Wanna get some lunch?
141
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,839
Officer Muntz.
142
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,674
Told ya I'd smell you later.
143
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,343
Been a long time.
144
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:35,014
Ah, look at us. We thought
we were gonna stay young forever.
145
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,349
Some of us did.
146
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:39,936
Oh, right.
Like Bart, because he got murdered.
147
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,773
Speaking of gruesome junk,
we could use your help on a case.
148
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,735
I'm flattered, but I'm the dean
of the True Crime Department.
149
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,529
I can't just run off and--
150
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:53,866
The killer left a message,
and we think it's for you.
151
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,245
[foreboding music playing]
152
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:12,426
Maybe Rod Flanders did grow up to become
a shockingly foulmouthed prop comedian,
153
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:14,470
but he didn't deserve this.
154
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:19,016
Only a super traumatized profiler like you
can piece together what happened here.
155
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,521
[Lisa] Our killer took his time.
156
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:24,772
{\an8}Had fun with it.
157
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,732
Enjoyed a game of solitaire.
158
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:29,151
Red king on a red queen.
159
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,696
This psycho doesn't play by the rules.
160
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,281
Damn, she's good.
161
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,742
Here, he had one of those moments
where you walk into a room
162
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,869
and forget what you came in for.
163
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:41,038
How did my guys miss that?
164
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:42,164
One more thing.
165
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,125
This killer won't stop now.
166
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,710
There will be others.
167
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,461
Sarge, there's been another.
168
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,884
How can he also be the first?
169
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,553
Sarge, we got another one.
170
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,599
[whistles] Boy, that's something
you don't see every--
171
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,058
One more, Sarge.
172
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,561
Got another one, Sarge.
173
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,730
{\an8}The severed hand opens the fridge
174
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,899
{\an8}which tugs on that strip of sinew,
turning over the eyeball cup,
175
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,277
which rolls down the spine,
startles the cat,
176
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,362
which leaps onto the butter dish seesaw
177
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:17,491
and sends the other eyeball flying,
turning on the coffee maker.
178
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,453
- Thanks.
- You'll have to take that to go.
179
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,038
They're about to do a walk-through.
180
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,123
- Forensics?
- Podcasters.
181
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,375
The smell was overpowering.
182
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:31,213
A lover's quarrel
or maybe something much darker...
183
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:36,927
Use code "entrails" for 15% off
at toothpaste-warehouse.com.
184
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,097
Even I can't get inside
a mind this deranged.
185
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,975
There's only one person who can.
186
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,647
Little Lisa Simpson.
187
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,567
You really made something of yourself
after I made mincemeat of your brother.
188
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,735
Come to thank me?
189
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,820
- No.
- Rude.
190
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,740
I don't have time for your games, Bob.
I'm working on a--
191
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,910
Yes. A case so confounding,
you're actually willing to seek my help.
192
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,121
The Rube Goldberg Sherri
is actually quite impressive.
193
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,414
Hat tip, psychopath.
194
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,583
What about the identical messages?
195
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:10,169
How can they all be the first?
196
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,712
Really, Professor Simpson?
197
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,423
Am I meant to spoon-feed you
all the answers?
198
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,426
Speak in riddles or drop a clue
in a clever anagram
199
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,054
hidden in something I've just said
right now?
200
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,555
This is a waste of time.
201
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,224
Perhaps a limerick will help.
202
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:27,436
There once was a shiny machete
that turned poor Bart's head to spaghetti.
203
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,980
You're gonna die in that cell, Bob.
204
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:34,694
And when that happens, wherever I am,
I'll be dancing.
205
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,455
{\an8}Can you think of anyone
who would've wanted to hurt Sherri?
206
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,291
No. Everybody loved my big sister.
207
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,584
Big sister?
208
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,044
You guys were twins.
209
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,797
Yes, but Sherri was born first.
210
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:59,051
Probably makes sense
for you to be my husband now, huh?
211
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,386
Sherri is the first.
212
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,556
Rod Flanders, Dermott Spuckler,
all firstborns.
213
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,890
That's the pattern.
214
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:09,145
And Bob said something about
an anagram taking us to the killer's lair.
215
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:11,689
[gasps] That's it.
216
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,702
- [metal clangs]
- Stay here.
217
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,204
[metal creaks]
218
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,709
Hey, meat hooks. Hook meat much?
219
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,835
Ha-ha-- [grunts]
220
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:38,048
[whispering] Nelson?
221
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,508
Nelson, where are you?
222
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,060
[gasps]
223
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:53,105
The killer's lair looks just like
my old bedroom.
224
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,732
But how?
225
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,651
Oh. Maybe the killer's
on the security footage.
226
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,282
No, it can't be.
227
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,284
[grunts] Freeze.
228
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,162
Wha-- I can't be the killer.
229
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,706
I turned my trauma into healing.
230
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:12,333
Oprah said so!
231
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,294
I'm sorry for the imbroglio,
232
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:19,006
but if the chef de cuisine insists on
calling it Taco Tuesdays,
233
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:22,927
he can't very well serve flautas
and expect us not to make a fuss.
234
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,431
Hello, Bob.
235
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,934
[whimpers] How did you get in here?
236
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:34,480
Well, I knew if I killed enough people
in the most gruesome possible ways,
237
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,607
they'd send me to your prison.
238
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:40,361
But to get into your cell,
I had a little help.
239
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,535
Lisa the Killer.
I never thought you had it in you.
240
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,287
The Lisa you knew didn't.
241
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,790
But I'm another story.
242
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,458
Oh, really?
243
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,293
Split personalities?
244
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,711
Trope alert.
245
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,964
Call the first-thought police.
246
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:04,635
Professor Lisa had no idea
she was my accomplice.
247
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,306
But she's gone now.
248
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:13,811
She was my last victim,
or rather, second to last.
249
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,354
The penultimate.
250
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,565
[groans]
251
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:27,449
♪ He remains an Englishman ♪
252
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:31,662
[screaming, groaning]
253
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,669
[Homer chewing]
254
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,172
{\an8}Simpson, no eating in the turbine room.
255
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,716
{\an8}Since when?
256
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,470
{\an8}Pfft. The nanny state wins again.
257
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,472
{\an8}No tanning in the reactor core.
258
00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:52,725
{\an8}No texting while driving and eating ribs.
259
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,185
{\an8}Can't even trim your hedges
with a machine gun.
260
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,104
{\an8}When did everyone get so scared?
261
00:14:57,104 --> 00:15:01,984
{\an8}The world would be fine
if people just used common sense like me.
262
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,777
[yelps] Jailbreak!
263
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,906
[grunting]
264
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,043
Woman. Woman.
265
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,467
Homer 1, nanny state 0.
266
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:31,138
[groaning]
267
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:38,479
Stupid radioactive garbage doughnut
mutating my DNA while I sleep.
268
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:44,735
Hey, who stole my Flanders' newspaper?
269
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,612
Sorry about that, Homerino.
270
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:51,033
But I whited out the crossword
after I did it so you can enjoy it too.
271
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,498
Better from the chimney than the furnace.
Am I right?
272
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,629
So, you see there's nothing
in the Bible that says
273
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:07,800
a pastor and his wife can't take
separate vacations.
274
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,301
[Ned groaning]
275
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,641
{\an8}Daddy, are you being tickled
by the Holy Spirit?
276
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,101
{\an8}[stomach rumbling]
277
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,269
[groaning]
278
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,359
[gasps]
279
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,070
[as Homer] I've been neighborino'ed
into Home-diddly-omer.
280
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,154
[groans]
281
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,949
And why am I in church
when football is on?
282
00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,117
[all gasp]
283
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,708
- [congregation screaming, crying]
- [belching]
284
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,337
[as Homer] Kiss my ass, "church-os."
285
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,758
I'm fat, I'm bald,
and I've never felt sexier, baby.
286
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,051
Why you little--
287
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,678
[Milhouse choking]
288
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,221
Woo-hoo!
289
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,646
[Kent Brockman] A mysterious affliction
290
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,481
has descended upon Springfield.
291
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:07,484
Citizens of every age, race,
and catchphrase
292
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:11,697
are mysteriously transforming
into bald, pear-shaped "doofi."
293
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,411
[as Homer] Donut Stu has diabetes type 2.
294
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,501
[as Homer] News is stupid.
Somebody put on wrestling.
295
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:28,589
Do all these burping baldos
remind you of anyone?
296
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,091
I'd know that butt scratch anywhere.
297
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,968
Everyone's turning into Dad.
298
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,222
[children scream]
299
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,935
[all belching]
300
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:52,279
Uh, children, your father's
less-than-stellar genetic code
301
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,407
is spreading through
burp-born transmission.
302
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:58,702
If we're going to cure this virus,
we need his DNA.
303
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:01,538
You three are the only ones
impervious to the virus.
304
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,665
You have got to find him.
305
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,959
Hmm. It is 11:30 in the morning.
306
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,590
- Beer, Moe.
- Beer, Moe.
307
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,758
A beer, a-Moe.
308
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,384
Have you seen our dad?
309
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,179
No, just these hundreds
of silly versions of him,
310
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,556
which is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
311
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,225
I mean, I'm printing money over here.
312
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,394
- [dog barks]
- Coming right up, Santa's Little Homer.
313
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,189
Real Dad wasn't at the bowling alley,
314
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:30,776
the candy store
or mocking the hippos at the zoo.
315
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,530
{\an8}Wait, Dad ate a bucket
of this chicken last night.
316
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:37,199
{\an8}When that happens,
where does he always spend the next day?
317
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,702
[Homer] I'll be out in a minute.
318
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:44,456
Um, is this really the most convenient
bathroom for your father?
319
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,792
It's the closest one Mom will let him use.
320
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,586
Dad, we need you to save the world.
321
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,712
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,591
Can you believe some idiot left his
perfectly good back scratcher in there?
323
00:18:54,591 --> 00:19:00,347
Look, it goes all the way down. [moans]
324
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,141
What?
325
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,019
Now, if you'll just board
the "Frink-o-ma-copter"--
326
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,604
We're not calling it that.
327
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:12,025
[mutters] And then we'll pop your DNA
into the "Frink-tabulizer"--
328
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,402
We're not calling it that.
329
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,487
[muttering]
330
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,073
And everything will go back
to the way it was.
331
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,366
Wait, hold on.
332
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,742
Why would I want that?
333
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,703
Finally, everyone thinks the way I do.
334
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,664
Nobody's making up stupid rules
about bicycle helmets
335
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,291
or where you can smoke cigars.
336
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,209
You wanna drive without a seat belt?
337
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:30,711
FaceTime while jaywalking?
338
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,337
Enjoy a sugary soda?
339
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,882
Go ahead. You're not hurting anyone.
340
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,466
It's a utopia.
341
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,218
No, a "me-topia."
342
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:42,097
Yes. Well, you don't really want
everyone to be like you.
343
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,057
Earth-shattering reveal!
344
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:45,809
[Bart, Lisa scream]
345
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,227
[chuckles]
346
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:50,022
[as Homer] When did insurance commercials
get so funny?
347
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,192
[screams] Marge.
348
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:57,654
Cooperating with us is the only way
to get your wife back to normal.
349
00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,949
You've never looked more beautiful.
350
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,704
Scooch over, gorgeous.
351
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:09,541
When we get home,
let's you and I bump muzzles.
352
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,626
Please, please.
353
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,712
If we don't have some competent people
left to run things,
354
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,255
society will collapse.
355
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:19,384
Coders to run the Internet
that feeds you the latest misinformation.
356
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:22,638
Pilots to fly the planes
you need to be restrained on.
357
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,723
I mean, a world without experts--
358
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,892
Does Beaker ever shut up?
359
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,810
[chuckles] Good one, Me-Marge.
360
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,437
Well, you leave me no choice.
361
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,439
I'm calling in a nuclear air strike
362
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:35,651
to obliterate all
the "Homerized" Springfielders,
363
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:39,488
including-- very sadly--
the touring company of Kinky Boots.
364
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,990
Obliterating in three, two--
365
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,242
Hey, you know what you need?
366
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,245
A nice relaxing scratch on the back.
367
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,247
No! No!
368
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,583
Oh! A lifetime of study
and education down the--
369
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,460
[grunts]
370
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:58,298
♪ This must be just like
Livin' in paradise ♪
371
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:04,304
♪ And I don't want to go home ♪
372
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:05,973
[all] Woo-hoo!
373
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:10,727
♪ This must be just like
Livin' in paradise ♪
374
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:12,562
♪ Just like paradise ♪
375
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:13,480
[all cheer]
376
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,817
♪ And I don't want to go home ♪
377
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:20,153
♪ And I don't want to go ♪
378
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:24,324
♪ This must be just like
Livin' in paradise ♪
379
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:25,826
[belching]
380
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,330
♪ And I don't want to go home ♪
381
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,416
[burps]