1
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,214
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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May I sample the Mango Mayhem?
3
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:20,812
Now you're gonna scream for ice cream,
John Wick Four!
4
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,523
Actually, it's gelato!
5
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,733
{\an8}[grunts]
6
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{\an8}[muffled grunting]
7
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,410
{\an8}The violence Mom won't let me watch
is the best.
8
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,245
{\an8}- [car crashes]
- [gasps]
9
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,329
{\an8}Damn it.
10
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,249
{\an8}Whoa. Live violence.
11
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,835
{\an8}[Marge] Homie, wake up.
There's been a car crash.
12
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:44,919
{\an8}[whimpers]
13
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{\an8}[grunts]
14
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{\an8}[panting]
15
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{\an8}[yawns] What's happening?
16
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,927
{\an8}There's been an accident.
17
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{\an8}Ooh, let's go gawk.
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{\an8}- [grunts]
- [Homer] Yeah! [chuckles]
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{\an8}[electricity crackles]
20
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{\an8}Marge, are you using a charger cord
as a robe belt?
21
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{\an8}[groans] Well, I lost my belt
and Bart lost this phone, so--
22
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{\an8}What's that mark on your sleeve?
23
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{\an8}I used it as an oven mitt.
24
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{\an8}My Milhouse buys me a new robe
every Christmas.
25
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{\an8}Ralphie bought me this chenille beauty
with his tooth fairy money.
26
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{\an8}What, don't you like any of the robes
your kids bought you?
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{\an8}They've never bought me a robe.
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{\an8}- The quintessential mom gift.
- Wha-- Un-frigging-believable.
29
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{\an8}[both groan]
30
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{\an8}My kids give me homemade gifts,
31
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{\an8}like hand-turkeys
and macaroni-covered... [stammers] ...stuff.
32
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{\an8}Sounds like they're just giving you
their art class crap.
33
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{\an8}Feel this.
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{\an8}I like the thoughtful,
artistic gifts my kids-- [gasps]
35
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{\an8}Oh, my God. That's plush. [gasps]
36
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{\an8}Yeah, my robe is fine.
It's just a little worn in spots.
37
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Uh, one big spot in the back.
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[groans] The top of my crack.
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- Oh. [stammers] Come here. [groans]
- [Lisa, Bart grunt]
40
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{\an8}[chattering]
41
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,957
- [all] Whoa.
- Wow.
42
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,919
It's magical,
but it smells like burning flip-flops.
43
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Ow. Ow. My flip-flops.
44
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,757
Careful! Live wire on the ground!
45
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,384
Whoa. Thank you, Homer.
46
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,219
[sighs] You da man!
47
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:22,100
Did you hear that?
Kirk said I was "da man."
48
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I mean, it sounded stupid
the way he said it, but still...
49
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Well, uh, if you wanna be "da man"
for everybody,
50
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you should post a warning about
that live wire on Alarmist.
51
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,320
It's this app that alerts neighbors
to local dangers.
52
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,613
Downloading now.
53
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,659
You film dangerous stuff and post it.
You know, traffic accidents,
54
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,619
nighttime animals out during the day.
55
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,038
Uh, hello. This is Homer Simpson.
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00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:47,125
Username, uh, The Simp.
57
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There's a live wire sparking
on Evergreen Terrace.
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Risk of electrocution: 1000%.
59
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[all gasp]
60
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A thousand percent?
My baby could have played with that wire.
61
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:02,307
He ain't born, but he's 'bout to be.
62
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:05,685
Congratulations.
You're now part of the Alarmy Army.
63
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,897
Hey. I can barely read my name
without my cheaters.
64
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,399
How do I get a bigger font
like these guys?
65
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,194
Um, those are the top alarmers on the app.
66
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,487
You want your name
in a readable font size?
67
00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,532
- You better learn how to spread fear.
- I'll do it!
68
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:24,162
I'll get to the top of this leaderboard
if it's the most useless thing I ever do!
69
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:27,540
Bart, we need to talk
about Mom's birthday present.
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Finishing it as we speak.
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Ta-da!
72
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:35,131
Uh, it might be time to retire
the pasta art genre.
73
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,550
What? In my vital bucatini phase?
74
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,970
You heard what those judgy women said
about our presents.
75
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,473
We need to buy Mom a present this year.
76
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,726
Where we gonna get money?
Otto stopped paying for clean urine.
77
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,312
Hmm. Mr. Flanders is generous.
78
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,315
I've sold him
so many magazine subscriptions.
79
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:56,986
Why Cat Fancy?
His cat isn't even that fancy.
80
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[humming]
81
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,407
Yo, Flan-man. We're trying to make
some scratch for our mom's birthday gift.
82
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,576
You need any help cleaning this mess up?
83
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,662
Sorry. I always keep my grass trimmed.
84
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,290
You know the old saying,
"The lawn is the mustache of the house."
85
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,877
[sighs] We get it. We just thought
Mom deserved something nice,
86
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:16,464
but if you don't think so,
hmm, that's cool.
87
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:17,840
Now, uh, hold on.
88
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,261
If, uh, you clean those two leaves
on my sidewalk up,
89
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,347
I'll give you $44.
90
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,932
- Both leaves? Ow.
- [Lisa grunts]
91
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,058
Deal.
92
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,186
This store has everything.
93
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:34,107
[gasps] This will make Mom feel cozy
and loved.
94
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,151
And it'll put a sock in the yaps
of those gossipy hens.
95
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:41,698
I'm gonna ignore the problematic "hens"
because I support the sentiment.
96
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,325
[both] Whoa.
97
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,202
Is it a toy?
98
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:50,039
Yes, but it's also gear.
99
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,500
It's got a pen
that's actually a tape recorder,
100
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:56,129
an eavesdropping device that lets you hear
conversations from miles away,
101
00:04:56,129 --> 00:05:00,466
and when you get in a tight spot,
sour-gummy cyanide capsules.
102
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This could change everything.
103
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Deep down, I know I'm the dingus. [sobs]
104
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[recording of sobbing plays]
105
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:14,647
Give me your lunch money
or the whole playground hears you blubber.
106
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You too, bow tie.
107
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,445
The eavesdropper could be so useful.
108
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,074
Okay. The meeting of the cool girls
has been called to order.
109
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:30,079
It's been decided that the new cool thing
is to wear earmuffs in warm weather.
110
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,749
So don't tell any randos bec-- [gasps]
111
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,460
Hey, guys. [chuckles]
112
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[gasps] Now Lisa's cool too
and there's nothing we can do about it.
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[all crying]
114
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[chuckling] Yes. Cry, Sherri. Cry.
115
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Mkay, just thinking out loud.
116
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This kit is the same price as the robe...
117
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- [gasps] Are you suggesting that we--
- You know I am.
118
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Say yes. Come on, Lis.
119
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I need two keys to launch this missile.
120
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Mom has never really been a gift person.
121
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:06,532
True. She's more into stuff like hugs
and seeing us happy.
122
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:10,787
But we can't just buy a spy kit for us
and nothing for Mom, I-- [gasps]
123
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Bart?
124
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,583
[panting] Bart, we can't do this.
125
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,919
Would you like to apply
for a Bullseye credit card?
126
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I'm eight.
127
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,338
{\an8}Yeah, you won't get it.
128
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,383
{\an8}But if you apply, you get
a free Bullseye ironing board cover.
129
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,178
[gasps] We could buy the spy kit
and give Mom the ironing board cover.
130
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,764
That's like giving her
a whole new ironing board.
131
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Give me an application.
We'll give her two ironing board covers.
132
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♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
133
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Uh, open my present first.
I gotta hit the streets.
134
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I have citizens to alarm.
135
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,739
Another charm for my charm bracelet.
136
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,909
That bracelet was
the smartest investment ever.
137
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,619
No matter what the occasion,
138
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,914
I always know what you need:
another charm.
139
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,166
You know me so well.
140
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,877
I better after however many years.
141
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Open mine next.
142
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,716
Oh. An ironing board cover.
143
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:08,136
Yeah, 'cause, you know, you iron.
144
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,804
{\an8}I sure do.
145
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,889
Open mine. It's in the Bullseye bag.
146
00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,267
Mmm. Such clever wrapping. [chuckles]
147
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,895
{\an8}[mutters] It's another
ironing board cover.
148
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,315
What do you get for the woman
who has only one ironing board cover?
149
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:24,485
Thank you. Both of you. I love them.
150
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,821
I got to hit the road.
151
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,574
If I find just three more things
to warn people about,
152
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,703
I'll move ahead of Cautionary Gale
and Cry Wolfcastle on the leaderboard.
153
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,913
We'll help clean up. [grunts]
154
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,832
No! I'll do it.
155
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,626
You guys have done so much for me.
156
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,295
[sighs]
157
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[grunts]
158
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,676
[sighs]
159
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,890
[groaning] Oh.
160
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,349
Enjoying your present, huh?
161
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:58,102
- Don't play with it all day.
- [groans]
162
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:02,064
{\an8}We'll know soon enough who broke this va--
[gasps]
163
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,566
[groans]
164
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,320
[Bart] Yellow Sparrow, this is Slingshot.
Prepare for face-to-face discussion.
165
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,530
Roger that. Face is prepared.
166
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,616
This spy kit is great.
167
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,203
All the secrets of this house
are being laid bare.
168
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,998
And Mom loves her present.
She can't stop muttering about it.
169
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,125
- [watch beeps]
- We rule. Over.
170
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,585
Roger that. Over.
171
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,964
Inappropriate billboard
near Noiseland Arcade.
172
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:30,426
Guaranteed danger of corruption.
Keep children away.
173
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,469
[phone chimes]
174
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,637
Hmm. Whoa. Whoa.
175
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,140
Thanks for warning us
about the vulgar wordplay, Simp.
176
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,185
"Itch, please."
177
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,813
Wait, I get it. Itch rhymes with bi--
[mumbling]
178
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,274
No. Mom hates that word. Trust me.
179
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,362
One more post and I'll be top five.
180
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,322
Homer.
181
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,534
Religious fanatic running through town,
possibly from murder scene.
182
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,910
Avoid outdoors.
183
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,203
[phone beeps]
184
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,287
I did it.
185
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,373
- [yelping] Fanatic!
- I'm number five.
186
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,667
I'm better than everyone.
187
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,255
[static crackles]
188
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,423
[Frink] Uh-uh-uh, your name is not Frink.
189
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,218
You are Frink's monster, you see?
190
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,304
[Frink's monster groans] Frink sad.
191
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:19,016
[Frink] No, Frink's monster is sad.
What is wrong with you?
192
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,644
[Moe] All right, one of youse rats
has been eating the pool chalk
193
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,105
and leaving chalky pellets
all over the place.
194
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,399
No, no, don't look at each other.
Look at me!
195
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,650
Hey! Steve.
196
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,569
[Ned] Oh. Hey, Marge.
197
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,653
[Marge] Hi, Ned.
198
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,113
Ooh, that's Mom.
199
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,906
What a party yesterday.
200
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,867
I don't usually take my water
on the rocks.
201
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,286
I was buzzing all night.
202
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,580
Yeah, it was fun.
203
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,165
- [sobbing]
- [Lisa] Oh.
204
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,877
Whoa. I didn't mean to bring on
a peeper-puddle. What's wrong?
205
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,212
[Marge] It's silly. I--
206
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:52,717
I'm embarrassed that my feelings were hurt
by a stupid birthday gift.
207
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,303
[Ned] Oh, now, feelings aren't stupid.
208
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,597
Some of them are evil,
but they're not stupid.
209
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:02,143
It's just on my one day,
I'm barely an afterthought.
210
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,271
It's like they don't think of me
as a person.
211
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,480
[sighs]
212
00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:07,982
[eavesdropper clicks]
213
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,443
I don't get it. Why is she so sad?
214
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,070
Bart, she's feeling unseen.
215
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,488
What? I always see her.
216
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:18,492
She's in my phone contacts three times,
under Mom, Mommy and Sandwich.
217
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,787
She does so many things
that we take for granted.
218
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:26,834
Imagine how we would feel
if she half-tushied our birthdays.
219
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,837
What? I'd be fine if she only...
220
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,173
[groans]
221
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,424
[sighing] Oh.
222
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,926
- [watch beeps]
- We suck. Over.
223
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,678
Roger that. Over.
224
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,763
[watch beeps]
225
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,348
As of this morning,
226
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:43,726
I am number one on the leaderboard
of the Alarmist App.
227
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,269
[gasps] Look at that.
228
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,271
What? The broken sprinkler?
229
00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,564
We need to warn people.
230
00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,942
It could cause a sinkhole
or activate a gremlin.
231
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,028
This is your Number One Alarmy,
232
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,365
with a warning that a geyser of water
is pouring onto--
233
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,449
- [phone beeps]
- Huh?
234
00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:04,789
Hey, someone named Silver Bullet already
reported a "vertical tsunami at the park."
235
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,124
Whoa, that's good mongering.
236
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,292
I got scooped?
237
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,003
Silver Bullet is now Alarmy Number One.
238
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,922
What? Who is this guy?
239
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,884
Those fat fingers are too slow
for the Silver Bullet.
240
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,136
Silver Bullet, your days are numbered.
241
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,305
Tell me something my doctor hasn't.
242
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,225
You smell like old lady.
243
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,018
So do you.
244
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,604
I smell like a lot of things.
245
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,441
We have to get Mom a new present.
Something meaningful.
246
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:36,362
So, let's make a list of everything
we know about Mom.
247
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,072
Yes. Great idea.
248
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,033
[Lisa] Mmm.
249
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,744
Hmm. Her first name is actually Margaret.
250
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:44,954
Good. Write that down.
251
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,580
[Bart] Hmm.
252
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,417
Ooh, I know.
253
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,086
She loves coming to my jazz recitals.
254
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:56,090
Uh, no, she doesn't. She hides a copy
of People magazine in the program.
255
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,717
Oh. [groans]
256
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,094
Why is this so hard?
257
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,847
We should know
the woman who gave birth to us.
258
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,390
Maybe she's unknowable.
259
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,308
What if we just give her the spy kit
260
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,853
and breakfast in bed
for the rest of her life?
261
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,357
Or, you know that trunk where
Mom keeps all her memories and stuff?
262
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:17,111
What if we use the spy kit
to break into it?
263
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,947
Oh, welcome to the dark side.
264
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,701
{\an8}[Lisa] Huh.
265
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:25,453
[gasps] Here we are.
266
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,499
I don't know if these lock picking tools
are even gonna work.
267
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,961
- I mean, this is just a toy, and--
- [lock clicks]
268
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,838
[gasps] Oh.
269
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,675
Now I'm concerned
about those gummy cyanide capsules.
270
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,719
Mom's birth announcement.
271
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:45,598
Oh, her name is Marjorie. Not Margaret.
272
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,142
We officially know nothing about her.
273
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,685
[Lisa] Hmm.
274
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,855
Mom had a parrot named Petey?
275
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,320
Oh, they were best friends.
Like me and Santa's Little Helper.
276
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,529
[dog whines]
277
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,614
Not now, boy. Busy.
278
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,116
[gasps] Look at this one.
279
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,536
[Bart groans] Mom's parents
must've given Petey away.
280
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:11,290
Hey, we just learned something about her.
Grandma was a jerk-ass.
281
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,709
Wait. Parrots live for, like, 80 years.
282
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,503
Maybe we could find Petey
283
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,631
and then reunite Mom
with her long-lost friend.
284
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,134
That would be like getting her a robe
that tells you it wants crackers.
285
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,511
How do we find this lady?
286
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,055
[Lisa] Well, we need to go
to North Townsburg.
287
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,015
Oh, that place is sketchy.
288
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,060
Milhouse's dad was a sign spinner
for a meth clinic there.
289
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,604
But let's do it. For Margotie!
290
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,730
Marjorie.
291
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,815
Whatever.
292
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:41,445
[groans] Townsburg is three hours away?
293
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,530
Fine.
294
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,866
I'll just kick the seat in front of me
until that little screw falls out.
295
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,577
- [grunting]
- That is so rude.
296
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:53,415
Well, you have to kick closer to the screw
like this.
297
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,084
[grunting]
298
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,877
[Chalmers grunts] Great.
299
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,714
[both groaning]
300
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,594
[groans] This place is depressing.
301
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,847
Isn't that the corner
where Nic Cage went crazy?
302
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,640
Yep, there's the statue.
303
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,310
[gasps] There's the mechanic's shop.
304
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,146
Let's do this.
305
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,482
Hey, grease stains. Seen this bird?
306
00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,527
{\an8}Yeah, I remember him.
That's Krista's bird.
307
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,070
{\an8}He in some kind of trouble?
308
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,572
We'll ask the questions.
309
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,241
What's the skinny
on this Krista character?
310
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,285
Well, she owns the craft store
down the block.
311
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,995
She also sells liquor and weed.
312
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,746
- Let's go.
- Don't leave town.
313
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,748
But my niece's wedding is tomorrow.
314
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,917
{\an8}I said, don't leave town.
315
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,002
{\an8}Fine.
316
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,880
{\an8}Hey, Shirl, it's Vince. I can't make it.
317
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,091
I don't know. Some kid told me
I can't leave town.
318
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:46,552
I gotta get back to being
Alarmy Number One.
319
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,681
Gotta warn people about... [groans]
...something. [gasps]
320
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,017
Death from above.
321
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:56,478
Falling branches in Springfield Park.
Stay away!
322
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,230
[phone beeps]
323
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,608
- My God, we have to get out of here.
- I did it!
324
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,359
- [Martin] What? [yelps]
- I'm Alarmy Number One.
325
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,529
Not for long, you toad-faced beanbag.
326
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:10,034
I will cut you into tiny pieces
like my son's pancakes.
327
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:14,663
I'm gonna eat you up and crap you out
like my son's pancakes.
328
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,501
The air at Springfield Park
is full of pollen.
329
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,212
Individuals with lungs
should avoid the area.
330
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,380
[Homer groans]
331
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,759
Lifeless bodies at the park.
Possible gas leak.
332
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,511
Demented man throwing objects
at the duck pond.
333
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,513
Chemical air attack at the play yard!
334
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,641
UFOs hovering over picnic area.
335
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,936
String-guided dragons,
most likely time travelers, attack--
336
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,355
I saw the kites first, you big galoot!
337
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,690
- [rumbling]
- [both scream]
338
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,317
Wh-- What happened?
339
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,320
Ugh, the earth couldn't support
your giant ass.
340
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,157
Maybe Satan heard your voice
and decided to fast-track you to hell.
341
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,451
Okay, we both got one in.
342
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,703
How are we getting out of this sinkhole?
343
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,956
I dropped my phone. Do you have yours?
344
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,000
No, just start shouting.
Someone will hear us.
345
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,796
- Help! Save me, not her!
- Down here!
346
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,631
[passenger] Hurry. The dragons are coming.
347
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,757
[tires squealing]
348
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:10,135
Oh, yeah, Petey. He was smart as a whip.
349
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,553
Could imitate anything:
350
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,263
political figures of the day,
351
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,975
the "You Lose" horn from Price Is Right.
352
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,603
So many times, I thought contestants lost
when they hadn't.
353
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,940
Why are you talking about him
in the past tense?
354
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,318
Oh, I left his cage open by mistake
and he flew away.
355
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,363
Last I heard,
he joined a flock of wild parrots.
356
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,992
Oh, I guess we came
all this way for nothing.
357
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,368
Stay in town.
358
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,787
But my daughter's wedding is-- [sighs]
359
00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:39,581
Shirl. Bad news.
360
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,084
We failed Mom again.
361
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,378
We are losers.
362
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,923
[parrot imitating "You Lose" horn]
363
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,591
Bart, it's Petey.
364
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,428
- How can we lure him down here?
- Uh. Uh.
365
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,637
[gasps] I've got it.
366
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,056
[Marge] Bart,
are you secretly recording me?
367
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,851
I'm on hold to talk about our water bill.
368
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,894
I-I'm sorry. No, I'm not talking to you.
369
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:03,022
I'm talking to my annoying son.
370
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,565
- [grunts] Got him!
- [Bart] Yes!
371
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,899
[Petey] Annoying son.
372
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,234
[Agnes] Hello?
373
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,778
Can't any of you idiots hear us?
374
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,906
There's no one to save us.
We scared everyone away.
375
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,533
Isn't that ironic?
376
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,659
I guess.
377
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,078
No, I'm asking.
I don't know what ironic means.
378
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,247
Why did we get so crazy?
379
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,999
I was doing a public service.
380
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,085
I warned everyone that broken sprinkler
would cause a sinkhole.
381
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,170
Bull-scat.
382
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,048
You were trying to move up
the leaderboard. We both were.
383
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,133
Now we're stuck down here.
384
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,844
[sighs] I miss the surface world.
385
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,388
Hey, you gotta share that.
386
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,640
We both need strength to fight off CHUDs.
387
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,435
- Hell, no! My Werther's, my choice.
- [growls]
388
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,395
- Mmm.
- [Homer gasps, groans]
389
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,858
Yeah, yeah. You got candy in there.
Stop showing off.
390
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,443
- [chokes]
- Are you choking?
391
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,986
Hang on. I'll save you!
392
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,863
Wait. Is this irony?
393
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,615
Ow, ow!
394
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,909
Okay. I'm doing it. [grunts]
395
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,537
- [coughs, gasps] I can breathe.
- [sighs]
396
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:04,792
Simpson, instead of mongering fear,
you mongered--
397
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,877
Life itself.
398
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:07,961
Thank you.
399
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:13,133
[gasps] This is the feeling I was after,
not some stupid leaderboard.
400
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,718
I'm gonna help you get out of here.
401
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,012
Step in my hands. I'll boost you up.
402
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,138
[Agnes grunting]
403
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,558
- Oh. There's so much to grab onto.
- [Homer grunting]
404
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,356
I'll tell everyone you're down there,
405
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,359
which will make me Alarmy Number One.
406
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,568
Suck it.
407
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,905
Hairless ground hippo stuck in sinkhole.
And while...
408
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,282
She's horrible.
409
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,869
Mom, we have one more
birthday surprise for you.
410
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,371
Oh, really?
411
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,541
We tracked down your best friend.
412
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,418
Petey?
413
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:49,503
Petey.
414
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:54,049
How-- How is this happening?
How is this happening?
415
00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,343
How is this happening?
416
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,846
- [screaming, grunting]
- [Petey] How is this happening?
417
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,931
- Get it off! Get it off before he--
- How is this happening?
418
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,933
- [Marge] Oh. Ugh.
- [Lisa] Ew.
419
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,852
- Ow. [screaming]
- [Lisa] Bart, do something!
420
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,895
[Bart grunts]
421
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:09,148
- Sorry.
- We thought he loved you.
422
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,902
This is how he shows love.
By grooming me and regurgitating on me.
423
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,613
I could never have friends over.
He was so possessive--
424
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,865
[squawking] Mine!
425
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:23,537
Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!
426
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:25,956
[whistles]
427
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,166
[squawking]
428
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,793
So why did you even get him?
429
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,337
I didn't. I wanted a kitten.
430
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,548
Our neighbor was giving away their parrot.
431
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,677
Since Petey can meow,
my dad decided he was close enough.
432
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:39,845
Meow.
433
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,514
- You're nothing like a kitten! [gasps]
- [Petey screeches]
434
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,434
Don't worry.
We'll take him back to Townsburg.
435
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,019
He's part of a wild flock there.
436
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,688
You went all the way to Townsburg?
437
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,151
We wanted to get you something, you know,
personal for your birthday.
438
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,571
Yeah, we did not make friends
on the bus ride home.
439
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,198
Petey is kind of racist.
440
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,116
Well, that's just--
441
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,619
We're sorry.
442
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:07,789
We didn't mean to re-traumatize you
with your childhood nightmare bird.
443
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,375
My wonderful babies.
444
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,794
You went to all that trouble for me.
445
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:16,715
I wasn't an afterthought. I was a thought.
446
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:23,513
Well, yeah, 'cause, you know,
we see you as a person.
447
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,307
We really do.
448
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,684
[whimpering] Our favorite person.
449
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,020
Oh, that is so--
450
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,939
- [crunches]
- [screaming] Ow!
451
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,108
[groaning] You little-- [grunts]
452
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:38,737
Who wants to help Mommy abandon Petey
in Townsburg?
453
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,197
- We do!
- We do!
454
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,291
[tires screeching]
455
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,376
[thuds]
456
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,711
{\an8}[chattering]
457
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:56,255
{\an8}[neighbor] Did anybody see what happened?
458
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,341
{\an8}Marge, what a beautiful robe.
459
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,134
{\an8}Is that terry cloth?
460
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:04,721
{\an8}French terry.
From the Terry province of France.
461
00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,723
{\an8}- Wow.
- Oh, France.
462
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,225
{\an8}My kids got it for me.
463
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,228
{\an8}I just threw it on
to see what that noise was.
464
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,439
{\an8}I think it came from over there.
465
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,150
{\an8}Look at the fullness in that sleeve.
466
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,652
{\an8}What was that sound?
467
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,320
{\an8}I don't see anything.
468
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,865
{\an8}Meh. It's a mystery we may never know.
469
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,325
{\an8}- Look at how it moves.
- Poetry in fabric.
470
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,410
{\an8}[Bernice] You better work!
471
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,080
{\an8}- [beeping]
- [Bart laughs]
472
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,457
{\an8}Mission accomplished, over.
473
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,418
{\an8}[both] Roger that, over.
474
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,461
Shh!