1 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:06,214 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,973 May I sample the Mango Mayhem? 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:20,812 Now you're gonna scream for ice cream, John Wick Four! 4 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,523 Actually, it's gelato! 5 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,733 {\an8}[grunts] 6 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,320 {\an8}[muffled grunting] 7 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:35,410 {\an8}The violence Mom won't let me watch is the best. 8 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,245 {\an8}- [car crashes] - [gasps] 9 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,329 {\an8}Damn it. 10 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,249 {\an8}Whoa. Live violence. 11 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,835 {\an8}[Marge] Homie, wake up. There's been a car crash. 12 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:44,919 {\an8}[whimpers] 13 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:45,920 {\an8}[grunts] 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,005 {\an8}[panting] 15 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,259 {\an8}[yawns] What's happening? 16 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,927 {\an8}There's been an accident. 17 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,429 {\an8}Ooh, let's go gawk. 18 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,847 {\an8}- [grunts] - [Homer] Yeah! [chuckles] 19 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,348 {\an8}[electricity crackles] 20 00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:01,644 {\an8}Marge, are you using a charger cord as a robe belt? 21 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:06,816 {\an8}[groans] Well, I lost my belt and Bart lost this phone, so-- 22 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,027 {\an8}What's that mark on your sleeve? 23 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,779 {\an8}I used it as an oven mitt. 24 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:14,407 {\an8}My Milhouse buys me a new robe every Christmas. 25 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,786 {\an8}Ralphie bought me this chenille beauty with his tooth fairy money. 26 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:21,039 {\an8}What, don't you like any of the robes your kids bought you? 27 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,874 {\an8}They've never bought me a robe. 28 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:26,127 {\an8}- The quintessential mom gift. - Wha-- Un-frigging-believable. 29 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,212 {\an8}[both groan] 30 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,798 {\an8}My kids give me homemade gifts, 31 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:35,178 {\an8}like hand-turkeys and macaroni-covered... [stammers] ...stuff. 32 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,848 {\an8}Sounds like they're just giving you their art class crap. 33 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:39,974 {\an8}Feel this. 34 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:43,353 {\an8}I like the thoughtful, artistic gifts my kids-- [gasps] 35 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,606 {\an8}Oh, my God. That's plush. [gasps] 36 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:50,860 {\an8}Yeah, my robe is fine. It's just a little worn in spots. 37 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:53,613 Uh, one big spot in the back. 38 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,532 [groans] The top of my crack. 39 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,034 - Oh. [stammers] Come here. [groans] - [Lisa, Bart grunt] 40 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,036 {\an8}[chattering] 41 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,957 - [all] Whoa. - Wow. 42 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,919 It's magical, but it smells like burning flip-flops. 43 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,712 Ow. Ow. My flip-flops. 44 00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,757 Careful! Live wire on the ground! 45 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,384 Whoa. Thank you, Homer. 46 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,219 [sighs] You da man! 47 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:22,100 Did you hear that? Kirk said I was "da man." 48 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,311 I mean, it sounded stupid the way he said it, but still... 49 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,314 Well, uh, if you wanna be "da man" for everybody, 50 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:31,317 you should post a warning about that live wire on Alarmist. 51 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,320 It's this app that alerts neighbors to local dangers. 52 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,613 Downloading now. 53 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,659 You film dangerous stuff and post it. You know, traffic accidents, 54 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,619 nighttime animals out during the day. 55 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,038 Uh, hello. This is Homer Simpson. 56 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:47,125 Username, uh, The Simp. 57 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,003 There's a live wire sparking on Evergreen Terrace. 58 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,631 Risk of electrocution: 1000%. 59 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,467 [all gasp] 60 00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,096 A thousand percent? My baby could have played with that wire. 61 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:02,307 He ain't born, but he's 'bout to be. 62 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:05,685 Congratulations. You're now part of the Alarmy Army. 63 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,897 Hey. I can barely read my name without my cheaters. 64 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,399 How do I get a bigger font like these guys? 65 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:14,194 Um, those are the top alarmers on the app. 66 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,487 You want your name in a readable font size? 67 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,532 - You better learn how to spread fear. - I'll do it! 68 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:24,162 I'll get to the top of this leaderboard if it's the most useless thing I ever do! 69 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:27,540 Bart, we need to talk about Mom's birthday present. 70 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,375 Finishing it as we speak. 71 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,835 Ta-da! 72 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:35,131 Uh, it might be time to retire the pasta art genre. 73 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,550 What? In my vital bucatini phase? 74 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,970 You heard what those judgy women said about our presents. 75 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:43,473 We need to buy Mom a present this year. 76 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,726 Where we gonna get money? Otto stopped paying for clean urine. 77 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,312 Hmm. Mr. Flanders is generous. 78 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,315 I've sold him so many magazine subscriptions. 79 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:56,986 Why Cat Fancy? His cat isn't even that fancy. 80 00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,071 [humming] 81 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,407 Yo, Flan-man. We're trying to make some scratch for our mom's birthday gift. 82 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,576 You need any help cleaning this mess up? 83 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,662 Sorry. I always keep my grass trimmed. 84 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,290 You know the old saying, "The lawn is the mustache of the house." 85 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,877 [sighs] We get it. We just thought Mom deserved something nice, 86 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:16,464 but if you don't think so, hmm, that's cool. 87 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:17,840 Now, uh, hold on. 88 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,261 If, uh, you clean those two leaves on my sidewalk up, 89 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,347 I'll give you $44. 90 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,932 - Both leaves? Ow. - [Lisa grunts] 91 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,058 Deal. 92 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,186 This store has everything. 93 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:34,107 [gasps] This will make Mom feel cozy and loved. 94 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,151 And it'll put a sock in the yaps of those gossipy hens. 95 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:41,698 I'm gonna ignore the problematic "hens" because I support the sentiment. 96 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,325 [both] Whoa. 97 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,202 Is it a toy? 98 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:50,039 Yes, but it's also gear. 99 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,500 It's got a pen that's actually a tape recorder, 100 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:56,129 an eavesdropping device that lets you hear conversations from miles away, 101 00:04:56,129 --> 00:05:00,466 and when you get in a tight spot, sour-gummy cyanide capsules. 102 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,468 This could change everything. 103 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:08,599 Deep down, I know I'm the dingus. [sobs] 104 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,935 [recording of sobbing plays] 105 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:14,647 Give me your lunch money or the whole playground hears you blubber. 106 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,024 You too, bow tie. 107 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,445 The eavesdropper could be so useful. 108 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,074 Okay. The meeting of the cool girls has been called to order. 109 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:30,079 It's been decided that the new cool thing is to wear earmuffs in warm weather. 110 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,749 So don't tell any randos bec-- [gasps] 111 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,460 Hey, guys. [chuckles] 112 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:39,589 [gasps] Now Lisa's cool too and there's nothing we can do about it. 113 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,674 [all crying] 114 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,595 [chuckling] Yes. Cry, Sherri. Cry. 115 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,222 Mkay, just thinking out loud. 116 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:52,185 This kit is the same price as the robe... 117 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,813 - [gasps] Are you suggesting that we-- - You know I am. 118 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,315 Say yes. Come on, Lis. 119 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,400 I need two keys to launch this missile. 120 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,111 Mom has never really been a gift person. 121 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:06,532 True. She's more into stuff like hugs and seeing us happy. 122 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:10,787 But we can't just buy a spy kit for us and nothing for Mom, I-- [gasps] 123 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,913 Bart? 124 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,583 [panting] Bart, we can't do this. 125 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,919 Would you like to apply for a Bullseye credit card? 126 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,045 I'm eight. 127 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,338 {\an8}Yeah, you won't get it. 128 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,383 {\an8}But if you apply, you get a free Bullseye ironing board cover. 129 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:27,178 [gasps] We could buy the spy kit and give Mom the ironing board cover. 130 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,764 That's like giving her a whole new ironing board. 131 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:34,310 Give me an application. We'll give her two ironing board covers. 132 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:38,147 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 133 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,068 Uh, open my present first. I gotta hit the streets. 134 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,736 I have citizens to alarm. 135 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,739 Another charm for my charm bracelet. 136 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,909 That bracelet was the smartest investment ever. 137 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,619 No matter what the occasion, 138 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:54,914 I always know what you need: another charm. 139 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,166 You know me so well. 140 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,877 I better after however many years. 141 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,295 Open mine next. 142 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,716 Oh. An ironing board cover. 143 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:08,136 Yeah, 'cause, you know, you iron. 144 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,804 {\an8}I sure do. 145 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,889 Open mine. It's in the Bullseye bag. 146 00:07:11,889 --> 00:07:14,267 Mmm. Such clever wrapping. [chuckles] 147 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,895 {\an8}[mutters] It's another ironing board cover. 148 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,315 What do you get for the woman who has only one ironing board cover? 149 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:24,485 Thank you. Both of you. I love them. 150 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,821 I got to hit the road. 151 00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,574 If I find just three more things to warn people about, 152 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:33,703 I'll move ahead of Cautionary Gale and Cry Wolfcastle on the leaderboard. 153 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,913 We'll help clean up. [grunts] 154 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,832 No! I'll do it. 155 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,626 You guys have done so much for me. 156 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,295 [sighs] 157 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:46,090 [grunts] 158 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,676 [sighs] 159 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,890 [groaning] Oh. 160 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,349 Enjoying your present, huh? 161 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:58,102 - Don't play with it all day. - [groans] 162 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:02,064 {\an8}We'll know soon enough who broke this va-- [gasps] 163 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,566 [groans] 164 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,320 [Bart] Yellow Sparrow, this is Slingshot. Prepare for face-to-face discussion. 165 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,530 Roger that. Face is prepared. 166 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,616 This spy kit is great. 167 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,203 All the secrets of this house are being laid bare. 168 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,998 And Mom loves her present. She can't stop muttering about it. 169 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,125 - [watch beeps] - We rule. Over. 170 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,585 Roger that. Over. 171 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:26,964 Inappropriate billboard near Noiseland Arcade. 172 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:30,426 Guaranteed danger of corruption. Keep children away. 173 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,469 [phone chimes] 174 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,637 Hmm. Whoa. Whoa. 175 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,140 Thanks for warning us about the vulgar wordplay, Simp. 176 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,185 "Itch, please." 177 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,813 Wait, I get it. Itch rhymes with bi-- [mumbling] 178 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,274 No. Mom hates that word. Trust me. 179 00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:49,362 One more post and I'll be top five. 180 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,322 Homer. 181 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,534 Religious fanatic running through town, possibly from murder scene. 182 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,910 Avoid outdoors. 183 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,203 [phone beeps] 184 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,287 I did it. 185 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,373 - [yelping] Fanatic! - I'm number five. 186 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,667 I'm better than everyone. 187 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,255 [static crackles] 188 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,423 [Frink] Uh-uh-uh, your name is not Frink. 189 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,218 You are Frink's monster, you see? 190 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,304 [Frink's monster groans] Frink sad. 191 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:19,016 [Frink] No, Frink's monster is sad. What is wrong with you? 192 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,644 [Moe] All right, one of youse rats has been eating the pool chalk 193 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,105 and leaving chalky pellets all over the place. 194 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,399 No, no, don't look at each other. Look at me! 195 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,650 Hey! Steve. 196 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,569 [Ned] Oh. Hey, Marge. 197 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,653 [Marge] Hi, Ned. 198 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,113 Ooh, that's Mom. 199 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,906 What a party yesterday. 200 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,867 I don't usually take my water on the rocks. 201 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:38,286 I was buzzing all night. 202 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,580 Yeah, it was fun. 203 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,165 - [sobbing] - [Lisa] Oh. 204 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,877 Whoa. I didn't mean to bring on a peeper-puddle. What's wrong? 205 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,212 [Marge] It's silly. I-- 206 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:52,717 I'm embarrassed that my feelings were hurt by a stupid birthday gift. 207 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,303 [Ned] Oh, now, feelings aren't stupid. 208 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:57,597 Some of them are evil, but they're not stupid. 209 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:02,143 It's just on my one day, I'm barely an afterthought. 210 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,271 It's like they don't think of me as a person. 211 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,480 [sighs] 212 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:07,982 [eavesdropper clicks] 213 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,443 I don't get it. Why is she so sad? 214 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,070 Bart, she's feeling unseen. 215 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,488 What? I always see her. 216 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:18,492 She's in my phone contacts three times, under Mom, Mommy and Sandwich. 217 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,787 She does so many things that we take for granted. 218 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:26,834 Imagine how we would feel if she half-tushied our birthdays. 219 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,837 What? I'd be fine if she only... 220 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,173 [groans] 221 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,424 [sighing] Oh. 222 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,926 - [watch beeps] - We suck. Over. 223 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,678 Roger that. Over. 224 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,763 [watch beeps] 225 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,348 As of this morning, 226 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:43,726 I am number one on the leaderboard of the Alarmist App. 227 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,269 [gasps] Look at that. 228 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,271 What? The broken sprinkler? 229 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,564 We need to warn people. 230 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,942 It could cause a sinkhole or activate a gremlin. 231 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,028 This is your Number One Alarmy, 232 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,365 with a warning that a geyser of water is pouring onto-- 233 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,449 - [phone beeps] - Huh? 234 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:04,789 Hey, someone named Silver Bullet already reported a "vertical tsunami at the park." 235 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,124 Whoa, that's good mongering. 236 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,292 I got scooped? 237 00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,003 Silver Bullet is now Alarmy Number One. 238 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,922 What? Who is this guy? 239 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,884 Those fat fingers are too slow for the Silver Bullet. 240 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,136 Silver Bullet, your days are numbered. 241 00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,305 Tell me something my doctor hasn't. 242 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,225 You smell like old lady. 243 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,018 So do you. 244 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,604 I smell like a lot of things. 245 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,441 We have to get Mom a new present. Something meaningful. 246 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:36,362 So, let's make a list of everything we know about Mom. 247 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,072 Yes. Great idea. 248 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,033 [Lisa] Mmm. 249 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,744 Hmm. Her first name is actually Margaret. 250 00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:44,954 Good. Write that down. 251 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,580 [Bart] Hmm. 252 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,417 Ooh, I know. 253 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,086 She loves coming to my jazz recitals. 254 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:56,090 Uh, no, she doesn't. She hides a copy of People magazine in the program. 255 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,717 Oh. [groans] 256 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,094 Why is this so hard? 257 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,847 We should know the woman who gave birth to us. 258 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,390 Maybe she's unknowable. 259 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,308 What if we just give her the spy kit 260 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,853 and breakfast in bed for the rest of her life? 261 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:13,357 Or, you know that trunk where Mom keeps all her memories and stuff? 262 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:17,111 What if we use the spy kit to break into it? 263 00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,947 Oh, welcome to the dark side. 264 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,701 {\an8}[Lisa] Huh. 265 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:25,453 [gasps] Here we are. 266 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:30,499 I don't know if these lock picking tools are even gonna work. 267 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,961 - I mean, this is just a toy, and-- - [lock clicks] 268 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,838 [gasps] Oh. 269 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,675 Now I'm concerned about those gummy cyanide capsules. 270 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,719 Mom's birth announcement. 271 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:45,598 Oh, her name is Marjorie. Not Margaret. 272 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,142 We officially know nothing about her. 273 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,685 [Lisa] Hmm. 274 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,855 Mom had a parrot named Petey? 275 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,320 Oh, they were best friends. Like me and Santa's Little Helper. 276 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,529 [dog whines] 277 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,614 Not now, boy. Busy. 278 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,116 [gasps] Look at this one. 279 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,536 [Bart groans] Mom's parents must've given Petey away. 280 00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:11,290 Hey, we just learned something about her. Grandma was a jerk-ass. 281 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,709 Wait. Parrots live for, like, 80 years. 282 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,503 Maybe we could find Petey 283 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,631 and then reunite Mom with her long-lost friend. 284 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,134 That would be like getting her a robe that tells you it wants crackers. 285 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,511 How do we find this lady? 286 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,055 [Lisa] Well, we need to go to North Townsburg. 287 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,015 Oh, that place is sketchy. 288 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,060 Milhouse's dad was a sign spinner for a meth clinic there. 289 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,604 But let's do it. For Margotie! 290 00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:34,730 Marjorie. 291 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,815 Whatever. 292 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:41,445 [groans] Townsburg is three hours away? 293 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,530 Fine. 294 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,866 I'll just kick the seat in front of me until that little screw falls out. 295 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,577 - [grunting] - That is so rude. 296 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:53,415 Well, you have to kick closer to the screw like this. 297 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,084 [grunting] 298 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,877 [Chalmers grunts] Great. 299 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:00,714 [both groaning] 300 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,594 [groans] This place is depressing. 301 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,847 Isn't that the corner where Nic Cage went crazy? 302 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,640 Yep, there's the statue. 303 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,310 [gasps] There's the mechanic's shop. 304 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,146 Let's do this. 305 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,482 Hey, grease stains. Seen this bird? 306 00:14:19,066 --> 00:14:21,527 {\an8}Yeah, I remember him. That's Krista's bird. 307 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,070 {\an8}He in some kind of trouble? 308 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,572 We'll ask the questions. 309 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,241 What's the skinny on this Krista character? 310 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,285 Well, she owns the craft store down the block. 311 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,995 She also sells liquor and weed. 312 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,746 - Let's go. - Don't leave town. 313 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,748 But my niece's wedding is tomorrow. 314 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,917 {\an8}I said, don't leave town. 315 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,002 {\an8}Fine. 316 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,880 {\an8}Hey, Shirl, it's Vince. I can't make it. 317 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,091 I don't know. Some kid told me I can't leave town. 318 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:46,552 I gotta get back to being Alarmy Number One. 319 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,681 Gotta warn people about... [groans] ...something. [gasps] 320 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,017 Death from above. 321 00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:56,478 Falling branches in Springfield Park. Stay away! 322 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,230 [phone beeps] 323 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,608 - My God, we have to get out of here. - I did it! 324 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,359 - [Martin] What? [yelps] - I'm Alarmy Number One. 325 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,529 Not for long, you toad-faced beanbag. 326 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:10,034 I will cut you into tiny pieces like my son's pancakes. 327 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:14,663 I'm gonna eat you up and crap you out like my son's pancakes. 328 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,501 The air at Springfield Park is full of pollen. 329 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,212 Individuals with lungs should avoid the area. 330 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,380 [Homer groans] 331 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,759 Lifeless bodies at the park. Possible gas leak. 332 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,511 Demented man throwing objects at the duck pond. 333 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,513 Chemical air attack at the play yard! 334 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,641 UFOs hovering over picnic area. 335 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,936 String-guided dragons, most likely time travelers, attack-- 336 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,355 I saw the kites first, you big galoot! 337 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,690 - [rumbling] - [both scream] 338 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,317 Wh-- What happened? 339 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,320 Ugh, the earth couldn't support your giant ass. 340 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,157 Maybe Satan heard your voice and decided to fast-track you to hell. 341 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,451 Okay, we both got one in. 342 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,703 How are we getting out of this sinkhole? 343 00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:56,956 I dropped my phone. Do you have yours? 344 00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:00,000 No, just start shouting. Someone will hear us. 345 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,796 - Help! Save me, not her! - Down here! 346 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,631 [passenger] Hurry. The dragons are coming. 347 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,757 [tires squealing] 348 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:10,135 Oh, yeah, Petey. He was smart as a whip. 349 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:11,553 Could imitate anything: 350 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,263 political figures of the day, 351 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,975 the "You Lose" horn from Price Is Right. 352 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,603 So many times, I thought contestants lost when they hadn't. 353 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,940 Why are you talking about him in the past tense? 354 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,318 Oh, I left his cage open by mistake and he flew away. 355 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,363 Last I heard, he joined a flock of wild parrots. 356 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,992 Oh, I guess we came all this way for nothing. 357 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,368 Stay in town. 358 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,787 But my daughter's wedding is-- [sighs] 359 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:39,581 Shirl. Bad news. 360 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,084 We failed Mom again. 361 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,378 We are losers. 362 00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,923 [parrot imitating "You Lose" horn] 363 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,591 Bart, it's Petey. 364 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,428 - How can we lure him down here? - Uh. Uh. 365 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,637 [gasps] I've got it. 366 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,056 [Marge] Bart, are you secretly recording me? 367 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,851 I'm on hold to talk about our water bill. 368 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,894 I-I'm sorry. No, I'm not talking to you. 369 00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:03,022 I'm talking to my annoying son. 370 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,565 - [grunts] Got him! - [Bart] Yes! 371 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,899 [Petey] Annoying son. 372 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,234 [Agnes] Hello? 373 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,778 Can't any of you idiots hear us? 374 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,906 There's no one to save us. We scared everyone away. 375 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,533 Isn't that ironic? 376 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,659 I guess. 377 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,078 No, I'm asking. I don't know what ironic means. 378 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,247 Why did we get so crazy? 379 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,999 I was doing a public service. 380 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,085 I warned everyone that broken sprinkler would cause a sinkhole. 381 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,170 Bull-scat. 382 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,048 You were trying to move up the leaderboard. We both were. 383 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,133 Now we're stuck down here. 384 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,844 [sighs] I miss the surface world. 385 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,388 Hey, you gotta share that. 386 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,640 We both need strength to fight off CHUDs. 387 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,435 - Hell, no! My Werther's, my choice. - [growls] 388 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,395 - Mmm. - [Homer gasps, groans] 389 00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:47,858 Yeah, yeah. You got candy in there. Stop showing off. 390 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,443 - [chokes] - Are you choking? 391 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,986 Hang on. I'll save you! 392 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:52,863 Wait. Is this irony? 393 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,615 Ow, ow! 394 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,909 Okay. I'm doing it. [grunts] 395 00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,537 - [coughs, gasps] I can breathe. - [sighs] 396 00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:04,792 Simpson, instead of mongering fear, you mongered-- 397 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,877 Life itself. 398 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:07,961 Thank you. 399 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:13,133 [gasps] This is the feeling I was after, not some stupid leaderboard. 400 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,718 I'm gonna help you get out of here. 401 00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,012 Step in my hands. I'll boost you up. 402 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,138 [Agnes grunting] 403 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,558 - Oh. There's so much to grab onto. - [Homer grunting] 404 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:27,356 I'll tell everyone you're down there, 405 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,359 which will make me Alarmy Number One. 406 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,568 Suck it. 407 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,905 Hairless ground hippo stuck in sinkhole. And while... 408 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:37,282 She's horrible. 409 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,869 Mom, we have one more birthday surprise for you. 410 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,371 Oh, really? 411 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,541 We tracked down your best friend. 412 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,418 Petey? 413 00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:49,503 Petey. 414 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:54,049 How-- How is this happening? How is this happening? 415 00:18:54,049 --> 00:18:56,343 How is this happening? 416 00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,846 - [screaming, grunting] - [Petey] How is this happening? 417 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,931 - Get it off! Get it off before he-- - How is this happening? 418 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,933 - [Marge] Oh. Ugh. - [Lisa] Ew. 419 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,852 - Ow. [screaming] - [Lisa] Bart, do something! 420 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,895 [Bart grunts] 421 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:09,148 - Sorry. - We thought he loved you. 422 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,902 This is how he shows love. By grooming me and regurgitating on me. 423 00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,613 I could never have friends over. He was so possessive-- 424 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,865 [squawking] Mine! 425 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:23,537 Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! 426 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:25,956 [whistles] 427 00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,166 [squawking] 428 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,793 So why did you even get him? 429 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,337 I didn't. I wanted a kitten. 430 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,548 Our neighbor was giving away their parrot. 431 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,677 Since Petey can meow, my dad decided he was close enough. 432 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:39,845 Meow. 433 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,514 - You're nothing like a kitten! [gasps] - [Petey screeches] 434 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,434 Don't worry. We'll take him back to Townsburg. 435 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,019 He's part of a wild flock there. 436 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,688 You went all the way to Townsburg? 437 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,151 We wanted to get you something, you know, personal for your birthday. 438 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,571 Yeah, we did not make friends on the bus ride home. 439 00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,198 Petey is kind of racist. 440 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,116 Well, that's just-- 441 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,619 We're sorry. 442 00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:07,789 We didn't mean to re-traumatize you with your childhood nightmare bird. 443 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,375 My wonderful babies. 444 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,794 You went to all that trouble for me. 445 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:16,715 I wasn't an afterthought. I was a thought. 446 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:23,513 Well, yeah, 'cause, you know, we see you as a person. 447 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,307 We really do. 448 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,684 [whimpering] Our favorite person. 449 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,020 Oh, that is so-- 450 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,939 - [crunches] - [screaming] Ow! 451 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,108 [groaning] You little-- [grunts] 452 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:38,737 Who wants to help Mommy abandon Petey in Townsburg? 453 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,197 - We do! - We do! 454 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,291 [tires screeching] 455 00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,376 [thuds] 456 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,711 {\an8}[chattering] 457 00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:56,255 {\an8}[neighbor] Did anybody see what happened? 458 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,341 {\an8}Marge, what a beautiful robe. 459 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:01,134 {\an8}Is that terry cloth? 460 00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:04,721 {\an8}French terry. From the Terry province of France. 461 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,723 {\an8}- Wow. - Oh, France. 462 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,225 {\an8}My kids got it for me. 463 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:11,228 {\an8}I just threw it on to see what that noise was. 464 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,439 {\an8}I think it came from over there. 465 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,150 {\an8}Look at the fullness in that sleeve. 466 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,652 {\an8}What was that sound? 467 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,320 {\an8}I don't see anything. 468 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,865 {\an8}Meh. It's a mystery we may never know. 469 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,325 {\an8}- Look at how it moves. - Poetry in fabric. 470 00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,410 {\an8}[Bernice] You better work! 471 00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,080 {\an8}- [beeping] - [Bart laughs] 472 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,457 {\an8}Mission accomplished, over. 473 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,418 {\an8}[both] Roger that, over. 474 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,461 Shh!