1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,339
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,926
{\an8}[Coach Krupt blows whistle]
Hustle up, snot rockets!
3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,846
{\an8}Today, we start
a unit that will test your physical
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,015
{\an8}and emotional endurance.
5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,309
{\an8}- It will make men of you if you survive.
- [children gasp]
6
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:22,230
{\an8}I speak of social dancing.
7
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,402
{\an8}[children murmur]
8
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:31,531
{\an8}If we dance with girls,
that means we'll have to touch them.
9
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,451
{\an8}My mom says only sheeple wear masks,
but I don't care.
10
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,704
{\an8}Cooties aren't a hoax.
They're real! [whimpers]
11
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,373
{\an8}- Grow up! Maturity!
- [grunts]
12
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,624
{\an8}- Rite of passage!
- Ow!
13
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,168
{\an8}- Change is beautiful!
- Ow!
14
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:47,297
{\an8}You will learn the touchiest version
of the Texas two-step.
15
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,090
{\an8}Like so.
16
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,135
{\an8}["Chattahoochee" playing]
17
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:55,221
{\an8}[Coach Krupt] Get real close, boys.
Body to body. No daylight.
18
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,390
{\an8}We're gonna get cooties for sure!
19
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,309
{\an8}I'm gonna find a way to protect us.
20
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,811
{\an8}Everyone solo dance till I get back!
21
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:03,980
{\an8}[music continues]
22
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,614
{\an8}Perfect.
23
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:17,285
{\an8}Quick, put these Band-Aids on your hands.
They'll block any and all girl contact.
24
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,620
{\an8}Gimme, gimme, gimme!
25
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,664
{\an8}[music fades out]
26
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,750
{\an8}Ooh, I don't feel so good.
27
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,921
{\an8}[groans] These Band-Aids
smell like my uncle Claude.
28
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,130
{\an8}Uh-oh.
29
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:35,845
{\an8}"Transdermal nicotine"!
30
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,597
{\an8}[all screaming]
31
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,809
{\an8}[groaning]
32
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,604
{\an8}[groaning]
33
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,318
{\an8}[roars]
34
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:53,113
{\an8}[pants]
35
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,449
Well, Bart, you've really wet
the mogwai this time.
36
00:01:56,449 --> 00:02:00,203
This wasn't my fault. I didn't know those
Band-Aids would make everyone crazy.
37
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:04,249
You expect me to believe that?
Bart Simpson, the Prank King?
38
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:08,002
The boy who live-streamed
my colonoscopy to the second graders?
39
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,838
Hey, Ralph did find that polyp.
40
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:13,216
It was benign, unlike your punishment.
41
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:17,387
Oh, fine. Don't believe me.
No one ever believes me. Do your worst.
42
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,682
Welcome to supermax detention.
43
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,061
Your worst was did!
44
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,899
Did you see that video
with the dancing Canadian boy?
45
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,901
Yeah, cute.
46
00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,697
Did you see the unlikely animal friends
video with the ra--
47
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,116
Raccoon and horse riding around.
Good for them.
48
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,994
- Mm-hmm, they'll do that.
- [phone beeps]
49
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:42,745
[Marge] Ooh.
50
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:47,542
Homer, we just got invited
to a wedding in the Poconos.
51
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,669
It's a destination wedding.
52
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,255
- Oh, God. No.
- What?
53
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,675
{\an8}Let me educate you
about destination weddings,
54
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:59,721
{\an8}or as I like to call them,
forced vacations.
55
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:04,851
{\an8}You fly halfway across the country
to sit in a boring church, not on Sunday.
56
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,937
Then you're stuck in a lousy hotel
for a whole weekend
57
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:12,150
with a bunch of people you don't know,
or you do know, and you hate.
58
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,277
And that's just the beginning.
59
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,987
First, there's the welcome drinks
60
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:20,867
where the "signature cocktail"
has a... [gags] ...cucumber in it.
61
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,954
And this one's in the Poconos,
which sounds like islands,
62
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,123
but it's just Pennsylvania.
63
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:31,377
And you're forced to do
all these preplanned activities,
64
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,922
like a zip line you're too fat to use.
65
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:38,593
And they have to bring in
a telephone bucket truck to get you down!
66
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:44,557
And at the after-wedding brunch,
everyone calls you Johnny Zipline.
67
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,268
[muffled] And they open the presents
in front of everybody.
68
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:51,481
So they all know from the online
registry, yours is the cheapest.
69
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,566
And it's all super expensive.
70
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,778
So you have to waste
all the airline miles you got
71
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,614
when your credit card
was stolen by scammers
72
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,784
who bought $50,000 of printer toner!
73
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,619
Of course. Yes.
74
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,997
The toner miles.
We can use them to fly to the wedding.
75
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,625
Oh, but my rant.
76
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,795
Homer Simpson,
I can't think of anything more romantic
77
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:19,092
than transporting ourselves to a magical
setting to celebrate a new love.
78
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,427
We are going.
79
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,512
[Homer groans]
80
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,516
There. Done.
81
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,602
{\an8}Clean it again.
82
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,814
[groans] This isn't fair!
I didn't do anything wrong!
83
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,109
My only crime is I didn't wanna
do dancing with some stupid girls!
84
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,611
Girls? That's why you're here?
85
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,863
[scoffs] Be a man, boy!
86
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:46,244
Don't fall apart over some lassie
with silky hair
87
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:51,040
and a dimple you could get lost in
like a bottomless pit of sweetness that...
88
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:56,421
[grunts, screams]
89
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,172
Oh, that feels better.
90
00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:01,801
So, you wanna tell me about this girl?
91
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,137
[sighs] Take a seat.
92
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,222
[grunts]
93
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,642
It all happened in Scotland, in me youth.
94
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:15,148
There was this girl that I loved. Maisie.
I thought she loved me back.
95
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,233
But she broke my heart.
96
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,235
That's why I came to America,
97
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:22,989
blighted land of "Barbenheimer-ing,"
wrestling believers,
98
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,075
to forget the fickle lass
who let Willie down.
99
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,493
And all women!
100
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,412
- [grunts]
- [glass shatters]
101
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:30,997
I'm with you, brother.
102
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,707
[heaves, exhales]
103
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:34,417
Who needs girls?
104
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,586
Now we're rage-bonding.
105
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,087
[heaves]
106
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,257
- Men don't let men down.
- [Bart grunts]
107
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:45,094
[shouts] This is how we express emotion!
108
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,346
[laughs]
109
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,222
♪ We're gonna have a good day ♪
110
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,725
{\an8}♪ And all my homeys gonna ride today ♪
111
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,436
{\an8}♪ And all these mommies look fly today ♪
112
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,563
{\an8}♪ And all we wanna do is get by today ♪
113
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:58,232
{\an8}♪ Hey, we're gonna have a good day ♪
114
00:05:58,232 --> 00:05:59,650
Willie, get your wheelbarrow.
115
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:02,653
You won't believe what they threw out
at the hospital.
116
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,030
Huh?
117
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,782
Willie? Willie?
118
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:09,827
Seymour! Willie's gone.
I can't find him anywhere.
119
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:12,455
[chuckles] Willie disappears all the time.
120
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,875
He's probably drunk in a ditch
on the outskirts of town.
121
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,254
Oh, my God. Willie?
122
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,424
And then there's all the creepy
wedding weekend hookups.
123
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,219
Which lead to the next
destination wedding.
124
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,929
Dad, snap out of it!
125
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,555
Something's happened to Willie.
126
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,100
Someone trashed his shack,
and I can't find him anywhere.
127
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,184
[phone rings]
128
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:37,230
- [gasps] It's him.
- Bart, my wee bestie.
129
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,358
I'm in Edinburgh. I need you.
130
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,484
Help!
131
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,694
[screaming]
132
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,907
[Bart] Somebody kidnapped Willie.
133
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,118
We gotta go to Scotland and help him.
134
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,413
I'm the only person
who cares about him in the world.
135
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,041
Homie, Bart's begged us
for a lot of things,
136
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,794
but I've never seen this look
in his eye before.
137
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,506
Not even when he begged us
for that neck tattoo of a rattlesnake
138
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,425
with a hand grenade tail.
139
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,094
But we can't just fly to Scotland.
140
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,806
Marge, there is one way.
141
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,391
No, don't say it.
142
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,977
- I have to say it.
- No.
143
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,395
The miles.
144
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,064
But-But the Poconos.
145
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,651
The miles, Marge. They're transferable.
146
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:28,489
I know. I know they are. [groans]
147
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:32,577
I guess we're not going
to that destination wedding after all.
148
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,842
[gasps]
That's the building from Willie's call.
149
00:07:49,343 --> 00:07:51,721
Willie, where are you?
150
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,056
[Willie] Bart, is that you?
151
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,766
I'll save you, Willie.
152
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,186
I won't let those bastards--
153
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,146
Pass you appetizers?
154
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,941
Ah, Bart. You came. And just in time.
155
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,067
In time for what?
156
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,446
My wedding. Willie's getting married!
157
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,614
Married?
158
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,910
[Homer] Welcome bags. Schedule of events.
Losers from home.
159
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,578
New people I already hate.
160
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,956
- [gasps] This is a--
- Destination wedding.
161
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:24,045
[screams, sobs] No!
162
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,928
What the hell, boy? A destination wedding?
163
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,305
You promised me a kidnapping or murder.
164
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,890
Yeah, Willie, what the hell?
165
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,476
On that call,
it sounded like someone was killing you.
166
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:42,396
Oh, that was just Maisie
coming in for a snog.
167
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:45,983
Give us a smooch, you big, ugly bawbag.
168
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,903
Aw, haud yer whisht 'fore I boke.
169
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,113
[both growling]
170
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,205
Maisie? Isn't that the girl
that betrayed you?
171
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,292
Well, there is a bit of a story there.
172
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:06,003
A love story. Ooh!
173
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:07,296
Please say it's long.
174
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,299
It's all in the welcome
cocktail slideshow.
175
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,134
[groans]
176
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:13,719
["Endless Love" playing on TV]
177
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:21,727
[Willie] I was working for Maisie's da,
harvesting peat in the peat bogs.
178
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,772
[Maisie] Burning peat is
what gives whiskey its distinctive flavor.
179
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:28,359
And Willie could sniff out
the best bogs of them all.
180
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,027
And that's how we met.
181
00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:32,113
[Maisie] It was a peat-cute.
182
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,197
[Willie, Maisie laugh]
183
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:37,201
[Willie] I was the happiest mud-smeller
in the world,
184
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,954
but her family disapproved of me.
185
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,081
They tried to shovel us apart.
186
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:45,334
So we made plans to elope
and sail away together.
187
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:48,546
But when I waited at the docks,
she did nae show.
188
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,466
So I left for America alone and bitter.
189
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:57,221
The reason I didn't show was my family
told me Willie was eaten by a sheep.
190
00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:01,726
But when I saw your TikTok,
I knew my love was alive.
191
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,895
She slid right into me DMs.
192
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:08,065
We started sexting right away.
193
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,819
[Willie] So I dropped everything
and came back
194
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:15,948
{\an8}where the whole family was waiting
with open arms and an apology haggis.
195
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,703
Oh, Willie, we cannae wait to shove
196
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,913
that wonderful nose of yours
in the bogs again
197
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,625
and take our whiskey
right back to the top.
198
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,876
[cheering]
199
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,004
You know, Willie was the one person
who understood my anger.
200
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,798
Now, it's like all our screaming
meant nothing.
201
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,052
Yeah. Well, everything I hate
about these things is coming true.
202
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:39,639
We just got here and the weird hookups
have already started.
203
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,684
So, is there a Lunch Mr. Dora?
204
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,311
[laughs]
205
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,395
Ew.
206
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:52,234
Mom, how come Lisa doesn't have
to do all this lovey-dovey wedding crap?
207
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,237
Well, your sister isn't best friends
with the school janitor,
208
00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:58,032
so she went off to tour Edinburgh
on her own.
209
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,035
Okay, I rubbed the toe
of David Hume's statue.
210
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,162
I climbed the Walter Scott monument.
211
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:07,625
I ate something called a Scotch egg
which I very much regret.
212
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,627
[gasps] The Fringe Festival.
213
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:13,547
A celebration of theatrical irony
and self-awareness.
214
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,301
{\an8}One for Musical: The Play, please.
215
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:20,471
{\an8}Sorry, darling.
This ticket booth is Ticket Booth.
216
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,473
{\an8}A one-man show about a ticket booth.
217
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,266
If you wanna buy a ticket
for Ticket Booth,
218
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,143
the Ticket Booth ticket booth
is over there.
219
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,813
It's so clever without being good.
220
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:37,279
Thanks for joining us on our love hike
from Moorland Heath to Heathland Moor.
221
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,909
And now, a gentle stroll
through the seven hills of Edinburgh.
222
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,080
Oh. Why can't all hills go down?
223
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:51,877
[scoffs] And look at all this cutesy
romantic crap they're forcing us to do.
224
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:55,339
When am I gonna get some free time?
225
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,008
Listen, mister, you're the one
who dragged us here,
226
00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,886
spending a lifetime
of frequent-flyer miles
227
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,055
and I'm not gonna let you
ruin this for me.
228
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:07,852
So how about you just suck it up
and do the cute activities?
229
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,272
♪ If you find yourself caught in love ♪
230
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,191
♪ Say a prayer to the man above ♪
231
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:17,778
{\an8}♪ Thank him for everything you know ♪
232
00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:21,532
♪ You should thank him
For every breath you blow ♪
233
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,453
♪ If you find yourself caught in love ♪
234
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,997
{\an8}♪ Say a prayer to the man above ♪
235
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,500
♪ Thank him for every day you pass ♪
236
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:35,004
♪ You should thank him
For saving your sorry ass ♪
237
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:39,759
Look, Lis. I'm gonna ask you for something
I've never asked before. Your opinion.
238
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,928
You literally haven't said a word to me
this entire trip.
239
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,805
Well, now I am, okay?
240
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,682
[sighs] Oh.
241
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:52,271
Hanging out with Willie was the one time
I ever felt I wasn't the only crazy one,
242
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,023
that someone understood me.
243
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:58,194
And now he's gone goo-goo for this girl
whose family screwed him over.
244
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,612
What do I do?
245
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,282
Well, when someone gets a chance
to put an end to their loneliness,
246
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,617
they gotta take it.
247
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,786
Have you ever seen Willie this happy?
248
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,751
Not even when Skinner got kicked
in the face at the Krav Maga assembly.
249
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,921
So, be happy for his happiness.
250
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:26,764
[hiccups] So, Maisie, tell me more
about your fairy-tale romance.
251
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,391
You're like two Shreks in a swamp.
252
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,435
Ach, it's the same old story.
253
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:35,231
Numpty meets bird, they start to doggin',
get told each is deid,
254
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,526
then reunite and pick right up again
with the houghmagandy.
255
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:42,780
[laughs] That's so romantic. Unlike... Ugh.
256
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,448
{\an8}[Homer] Hmm? Mmm.
257
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:47,660
You know what? I'm making a toast.
258
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,038
Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink.
Shut up, everybody.
259
00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:54,708
Look at these kids, so in love.
260
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:57,837
When Homer and I first got together,
we were the same.
261
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,381
We couldn't keep our hands off each other.
262
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,844
Now we just spend every night
doomscrolling our life away
263
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,681
and watching a squirrel surf
on the back of an alligator.
264
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:12,017
Marge, trashing our marriage
is something that should only be done
265
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,602
in the privacy of our home.
266
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,522
And that's our romance for the ages.
267
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:21,694
It began with a wild night
in a mini golf windmill. And now...
268
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,028
[blows raspberry]
269
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,364
How can you say that?
270
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,283
This is the worst thing
that's ever happened
271
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,410
in the beheading room of this castle.
272
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,835
Bart, I want to thank you for bringing me
back to Maisie.
273
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,170
I've never been so happy.
274
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,172
You know, I think I get it.
275
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:46,844
Good lad. That's why I'm giving you
a very important role in the wedding.
276
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:49,179
You're going to lead the dance!
277
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,849
Ooh. A spiky American.
278
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,767
["Chattahoochee" playing]
279
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:59,148
No! Men don't let men down!
280
00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,442
[grunts]
281
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,570
Our cake.
282
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,032
[crying] Now what will you
shove in my gub?
283
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:16,373
You wee bastard. You ruined my wedding.
284
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,458
Good.
285
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,794
That's the only friend
that you made in America?
286
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,463
Aye.
287
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,635
[groans] My head.
288
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,262
Homie, what do you take for a hangover?
289
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,306
Huh?
290
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:37,645
Oh, fine. Be that way. For once,
I'm the one who spoke truth while drunk.
291
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,066
Oh, running away from a fight, huh?
292
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:46,320
Well, I'm still mad at you.
293
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,156
You told everyone
that I don't care about romance,
294
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:53,452
and now they think Homer Simpson
is vanilla in the sack!
295
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,622
[echoing] Homer Simpson is vanilla
in the sack!
296
00:15:56,622 --> 00:16:01,251
Vanilla in the sack!
297
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,337
Bad at sex!
298
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,176
I can't believe I ever looked up
to that guy.
299
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,719
Stupid Willie.
300
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,932
[laughing] Stupid Willie.
301
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:20,270
That nobody thinks he can be a MacWeldon?
Ha! All he's good for is his nose.
302
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,438
Once they're married,
303
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,401
Willie will sniff out a mother lode
of good peat.
304
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,319
And then, he's out!
305
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:30,823
And then Maisie can find a proper husband.
Not some floor waxing puke mopper.
306
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,369
This whole thing was a setup
to use Willie?
307
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,496
That girl doesn't even love him?
308
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,499
Why would you do that to my friend?
309
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:43,544
Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beasties
310
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:48,090
shouldn't stick their nebs
in other people's bizzo.
311
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:52,678
I have no idea what you just said.
Uh-- [stammers] But I get the context!
312
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,848
[grunts] Let me out!
313
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,017
Oh, no. You're staying right here.
314
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,603
With your only entertainment,
this cribbage board.
315
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:02,896
[laughing]
316
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,776
{\an8}Hey, where are the pegs?
317
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,612
{\an8}Oh, they're in this little drawer.
318
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,532
["Wedding March" playing]
319
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,205
Homer would never get how sweet this is.
320
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,375
How'd I wind up with the most
unromantic man on Earth?
321
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,460
[phone beeps]
322
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,255
Why is he texting me during a wedding?
323
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,383
Hmm?
324
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,722
[dolphin, gorilla laughing]
325
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,892
They shouldn't be together but they are.
326
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,895
[gasps, cries] Oh!
327
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,939
[panting]
328
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:47,024
[gasps]
329
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,110
Homer!
330
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:51,612
Marge!
331
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:55,199
[shouting] Did you get
my gorilla-dolphin video?
332
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:58,869
[shouting] It was so unlikely!
Just like us!
333
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,455
That's why I sent it to you!
334
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:06,126
[Marge] I'm sorry I trashed our marriage
in a rehearsal dinner toast!
335
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:10,255
I'm sorry I was such a downer
about this destination wedding!
336
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,467
I should have just pretended
to go along with it like I do
337
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,053
with everything else in our marriage.
338
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:25,479
I don't care if our romance began
when we did it on a mini golf course.
339
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,523
It's still epic.
340
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:33,570
How epic would it be if we did it
on the best golf course in the world?
341
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,157
{\an8}You are so romantic.
342
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:40,035
{\an8}[shouting] Fore... [whispering] ...play.
343
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,204
{\an8}[both moaning, kissing]
344
00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:47,334
I gotta get outta here and warn Willie
345
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,754
that girl's just marrying him
for his nose. Ugh!
346
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,260
Birdseed bags.
347
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:59,096
{\an8}Soap with Willie's face on it.
Sleep masks.
348
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,806
{\an8}Aha!
349
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:05,185
I, Groundskeeper Willie,
take you, Booze-maker Maisie--
350
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,521
- Stop the wedding! Stop the wedding!
- [crowd gasps]
351
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:11,483
What are you doing, boy?
Why don't you want Willie to be happy?
352
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:15,279
[grunts] I do. This girl doesn't love you.
353
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:19,158
Her family only brought you here
for your peat sniffing.
354
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,911
Pa, Hamish, Owen, can this be true?
355
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,621
Of course it's true.
356
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,498
You're just a nose to us.
357
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:31,003
We've got to compete
with all these celebrity booze brands.
358
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,964
From your tall, dark Clooneys
to your wee Danny DeVitos.
359
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,509
There's no room
for a passable entry-level scotch.
360
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:42,097
William, I didn't know about any of this.
I swear.
361
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:46,685
I'd love you even if you never sniffed
another bog as long as you lived.
362
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,104
I wish I could believe you.
363
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,772
I'll prove it.
364
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:52,983
- [shouts]
- [Willie grunts]
365
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,568
[crowd gasps]
366
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,030
[groans] You broke my sniffer.
367
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,865
You do love me.
368
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,159
Forever and a day. [shouts]
369
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:05,829
[grunts] I'll never smell nothing again.
370
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,331
[all] Aw.
371
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,418
I think I get it, Lisa.
I understand love now.
372
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,586
[Maisie shouts]
373
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,685
{\an8}♪ Willie was a lonely guy ♪
374
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:32,940
{\an8}♪ Cleaning out toilets
And sawdust and puke ♪
375
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,651
♪ Watching as his life went by ♪
376
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:40,197
♪ His only friend was a 10-year-old boy ♪
377
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,699
♪ Maisie was a Scottish lass ♪
378
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,620
♪ Thinking that her love
Was killed by a sheep ♪
379
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,873
♪ Twenty long, long years did pass ♪
380
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,752
{\an8}♪ Then she saw him
On a Chinese social media app ♪
381
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,631
♪ Willie raced to Scotland
Simpsons had to follow ♪
382
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,842
♪ Destination wedding
Homer full of sorrow ♪
383
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:04,513
♪ Bart was total raging
Marge got mad at Homer ♪
384
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,891
♪ Marge got really steaming
Got up at the wedding ♪
385
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:09,476
♪ Made a drunken toast ♪
386
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:13,272
♪ Lisa loved the festival
And you just saw it in this show ♪
387
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,982
♪ And we all love the musical ♪
388
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,733
♪ The wedding day turned out triumphant ♪
389
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,027
♪ This love song is redundant ♪
390
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:30,539
♪ Remember how we used to be
When our love was young ♪
391
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,041
♪ Many golden memories ♪
392
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:40,716
{\an8}♪ Thanks mainly to the Internet
We can reconnect ♪
393
00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,677
♪ We can love like 21 again ♪
394
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,266
♪ That unrequited crush at school ♪
395
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,853
♪ You can track them on the Internet ♪
396
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:56,356
♪ And while you're at it
You can buy dog food ♪
397
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:59,818
♪ So convenient
It's the Internet ♪
398
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:04,906
♪ It all started on the mini golf
When the love was young ♪
399
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:08,076
♪ Many golden memories ♪
400
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:15,792
♪ It all started in an old peat bog
With a dirty snog ♪
401
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:18,462
♪ Will and Maisie on their way ♪
402
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:27,804
♪ But the family wasn't having it
And then Willie split for the USA ♪
403
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:33,185
♪ Bart posted on the Internet
'Cause the world is small ♪
404
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,646
♪ Willie raced to Scotland
Simpsons had to follow ♪
405
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:40,442
♪ Destination wedding
Homer full of sorrow ♪
406
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,528
♪ Bart was total raging
Marge got mad at Homer ♪
407
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,238
♪ Marge got really steaming ♪
408
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:48,492
♪ Got up at the wedding
Made a drunken toast ♪
409
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:52,287
♪ Lisa loved the festival
And you just saw it in this show ♪
410
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:53,997
♪ And we all love the musical ♪
411
00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:58,043
♪ The wedding day turned out triumphant
This love song is redundant ♪
412
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:05,884
♪ Remember how we used to be
When our love was young ♪
413
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:08,804
♪ Many golden memories ♪
414
00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:14,559
♪ Thanks mainly to the Internet ♪
415
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:19,564
♪ We can reconnect
We can love like 21 again ♪
416
00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:28,657
♪ That unrequited crush at school
You can track them on the Internet ♪
417
00:23:29,282 --> 00:23:31,701
♪ And while you're at it
You can buy dog food ♪
418
00:23:31,701 --> 00:23:34,287
♪ So convenient
It's the ♪
419
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:37,874
♪ So convenient ♪
420
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,298
Shh!