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00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,297
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:09,300
♪ I'm getting the mail
Hallelujah ♪
3
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{\an8}♪ I'm getting the mail
It's something to do ♪
4
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Hmm. What the Helen Mirren?
5
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[sighs] Stimulus checks?
6
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{\an8}We were supposed to cash these
during the pandemic.
7
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:24,399
Should we spend the money now
or wait for the next one?
8
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:27,068
{\an8}So what are we gonna blow it on?
Jet Ski or motorbike?
9
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:28,611
{\an8}Vroom, vroom, vroom.
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{\an8}Mom, there is something
I've always wanted for this family,
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{\an8}but it's not a thing exactly...
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{\an8}Vroom?
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{\an8}...but rather, it's an experience.
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{\an8}Something we can all treasure
and talk about for years to come.
15
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{\an8}Wow.
16
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,502
{\an8}Well, then maybe we should do it.
17
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{\an8}Wait, that's the move?
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00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,381
{\an8}Go all sincere and emo? Gross.
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{\an8}Vroom, vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
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{\an8}There is one small issue.
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{\an8}My idea will take some finessing with Dad.
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{\an8}Hmm.
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{\an8}[Homer] Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
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{\an8}Surprise money, then a surprise cruise?
Two is the perfect number of surprises.
25
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{\an8}It sure is, Dad.
26
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{\an8}We're going on a regular cruise
27
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{\an8}with absolutely
nothing about it you'd hate.
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{\an8}What the hell is wrong with this boat?
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{\an8}- [groaning]
-"The Pacific Princess Leia is a cruise
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{\an8}by and for fans of sci-fi, fantasy,
comic books, anime and video games."
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{\an8}But-- But those are all
just different names for--
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[singer] ♪ Nerds ♪
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♪ Exciting and new ♪
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♪ Play pickleball ♪
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♪ With Doctor Who ♪
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♪ The nerd boat ♪
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♪ Your Wolverine T-shirt is like a tux ♪
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♪ The nerd boat ♪
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♪ Where everyone knows
The new Star Wars sucks ♪
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{\an8}♪ The drinks are all virgin ♪
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{\an8}♪ Just like all the guests on board ♪
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{\an8}♪ Too busy geeking ♪
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{\an8}♪ On movies from Miller and Lord ♪
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{\an8}♪ And nerds won't hurt anymore ♪
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♪ That's a vow from your crew ♪
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♪ The Fantastic Four ♪
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♪ You're nerds ♪
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♪ Welcome aboard, you nerds ♪
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Stop this loving homage!
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I see what you're doing--
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celebrating outcast culture that used to
be on the fringes-- and I don't like it!
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You nerds, stop playing dress-up,
or else I'm gonna wedgie you
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and swirly you and purple your nurples
until they... [groans]
54
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,721
Hey, check out
that Avatar volleyball tournament.
55
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,265
It's Na'vi versus Last Airbenders.
56
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,811
And I'll be on the Harvey deck.
57
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Ooh, look at all those Cadburys.
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[gasps] Mmm.
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Oh, my God. Is that Taika Waititi?
60
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- [Helen giggles]
- I love everything you do.
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Your Thor movies,
What We Do in the Shadows.
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[gasps] Oh, and you're by far
my favorite on-screen Hitler.
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Take that, the late Bruno Ganz.
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00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,959
Well, if you love that,
you'll certainly be in a furor
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over my newest acting role
as Daerius D'Avignon, medieval detective,
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in the new $300 million streaming show,
Murder, He Swords.
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The murderer is the Black Plague again.
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[actor groans]
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You know it's good because
it's based on existing IP.
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[all] IP. IP.
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[announcer] Please welcome the king
and queen of this nerd prom,
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Comic and Kumiko Book Guy.
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Out of my way, league of non-legends.
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Gaze upon your betters and weep.
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Behold.
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I have brought the jewel
of my collectible collection,
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the rarest treasure in all of geekdom,
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a Radioactive Man action figure
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accidentally manufactured
with Wolverine claws.
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- Look upon it and lose your mind.
- [crowd murmurs]
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[cheering]
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Only two of those defective toys were made
before they caught the mistake.
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00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:31,771
This you remember, but every year
our anniversary evades you.
84
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,065
Don't embarrass me
in front of the other Blades.
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00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,566
[snickering]
86
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"Vomit" Book Guy is on the boat?
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00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,238
Oh, cruise ruined.
88
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What do you have against
the Comic Book Guy?
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00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,326
I walked into his store two weeks ago.
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00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:49,706
I know this is weird, but I actually drew
a comic book of my own.
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00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,375
- [Comic Book Guy] Hmm.
- Check it out.
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00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,461
{\an8}He's half croc,
half gator and full prankster.
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00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:59,048
Huh. Wow.
You know what, I'm really impressed.
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00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:03,803
I'm going to fax this right away
to my friends at Man, You Suck Publishing.
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00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,472
[gasping]
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00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,890
[laughs]
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00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,392
You suck.
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00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:15,315
I swear to God, one day I'm gonna
get my revenge on Comic Book Guy.
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00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,568
[chattering]
100
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:23,531
I hate this stupid baby dress-up cruise.
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And why can't I be Uncle Fester?
102
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,578
I'm bald, and I already own
several black muumuus.
103
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Ooh. Wait, this stuff doesn't have
punny names, does it?
104
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No, it's just like any other cruise.
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Infinite food for gluttonous slobs.
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Taika, why are you eating all by yourself?
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To maintain energy for all my writing,
directing, acting and rakish smirking.
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[clicks tongue]
Plus, it's in my cruise rider.
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I also get a cabin
facing the sunrise and the sunset,
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unlimited Vegemite and the top tier
of any seafood tower.
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[Homer] Ah, mmm. Hmm?
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- [slurping]
- Hmm. Oh.
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Now on display, the exquisitely flawed
Radioactive X-Gentleman,
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aka Wolveractive Man, aka Radio-verine.
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[crowd oohing]
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Uh, look out, uh.
Don't give that guy money.
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He's a dream-crushing jackass,
and he doesn't deserve dollar one.
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I hope one day someone destroys
the thing you love most.
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- [crowd murmuring]
- [Carl] Somebody turned off the lights.
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- [crowd gasps]
- [screams]
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[Lenny] The doll's head. It's gone.
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Speak to me,
O headless Radioactive collectible.
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Oh, sweet suffering mate,
let me share in your distress.
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[singing in Japanese]
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Who could have done such a thing?
Who could-- [stammers, sighs]
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Oh, the agony.
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I wager Bart Simpson did this.
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He had the motive, means,
and he's a notorious stinker.
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That is a recipe for murder.
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00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,634
And look at the three tiny
scratch marks on Bart's cheek.
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[doll clicks]
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No one murders a doll on my ship.
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To the brig.
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[vocalizes "The Addams Family Theme"]
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D'oh, d'oh.
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I swear I didn't kill that doll.
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Stop lying, boy.
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I can't believe
you ruined my dream cruise.
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You hate this cruise.
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No, I hate the theme and the people
and the boat, but I love the food.
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[slurps]
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Mr. and Mrs. Simpson,
I know it's hard for you
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to see your son
in this tiny cruise ship jail.
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It is.
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Well, don't you worry.
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Tomorrow he'll be taken ashore
and locked in a full adult prison.
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- [Marge] No!
- But with all the amenities.
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Okay.
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The Amenities are a notorious prison gang.
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They really hate children.
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- [Marge] No.
- [Homer gasps] Uh-oh.
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Lis, I know it looks bad,
but I'm really scared.
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I swear I didn't do it.
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I don't know.
155
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:10,072
You've beheaded many of my dolls,
from Malibu Stacy to Fire Island Frank.
156
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,575
No, those aren't valuable. They're yours.
157
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,244
Bart, you've lied to me
so many times before,
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how could I ever believe you?
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Okay, but this time I'm telling the truth.
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And to prove it,
I'm gonna own up to all my past lies.
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[inhales]
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That time when the dog buried
your saxophone in the garden,
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he had some help.
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00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:31,260
When Malala called on your birthday
to tell you to suck lemons, that was me.
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That time you woke up in a bathtub
full of garlic knots--
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I get it. I get it. You're terrible.
167
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Okay, I figure I only get one time to say,
Lis, you gotta believe me no matter what.
168
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Right now, I am playing that card.
169
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,526
I did not destroy that doll.
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00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,445
Oh, my God. I believe you.
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- [crowd chattering]
- [gasps]
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The only way to clear Bart's name
is to figure out who really did it.
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00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,373
But I can't do it all
by myself. I need help.
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00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,209
I'll help you. No, hang on.
Let me try that again.
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[louder] I'll help you.
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00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,795
Nailed it.
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00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,548
Taika Waititi? Seriously?
178
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,716
You'll help me exonerate my brother?
179
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,593
Of course. Why? I'll tell you.
180
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Because I have a medical condition where
I have to be multitasking at all times.
181
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:20,893
Well, my brother can't be the only person
on this ship who hated Comic Book Guy.
182
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:24,855
So I guess we'll just have to question
every passenger on the manifest.
183
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,358
Why don't we start
with fans of the Taika-verse?
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00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,859
Whoops! That's everyone.
185
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,195
[laughing]
186
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,280
Let's go.
187
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,032
I hate Comic Book Guy,
and I hated that doll
188
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,618
because it originally belonged to me!
189
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:38,744
[gasps]
190
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,623
[gasps]
191
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,210
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
192
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,213
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
193
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:53,092
Hi. Excuse me,
but I will take this, uh, non-priceless,
194
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:59,307
completely valueless garbage
off of your hands for, uh, $11.
195
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:03,269
But, Dad, I think
it might be worth a lot more.
196
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,770
Who cares, Milhouse?
197
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:08,024
This is two $5 footlongs
and a weird cookie.
198
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,986
Hey, Luann. Anniversary dinner
is back on, baby.
199
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:17,450
I didn't destroy that action figure,
but I sure had a motive.
200
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,702
A clear motive.
201
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,080
I don't know why you're interrogating me.
202
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,083
I have no bone to grind
with that Comic Book chap.
203
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,169
Really?
204
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,380
Even after Comic Book Guy
led an online troll army
205
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,925
to demand you be fired
and replaced in this?
206
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,345
[narrator] From the producers of Mad Max
207
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:41,932
comes a vision so dark,
so violent and so wacky.
208
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,602
Sideshow Mel...
209
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:49,315
We'll kill them all,
or my name isn't Dick Dastardly.
210
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,693
...and Timothée Chalamet as Muttley.
211
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,699
Curse that funny-book fiend.
212
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,910
He mobilized both the Hanna-Barbarians
213
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:05,081
and the Wack-olytes against me
in a devastating online petition.
214
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:06,957
[Lisa gasps]
215
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,380
First of all, that looks so good,
I'm surprised I didn't direct it.
216
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,799
Did I? October was crazy.
217
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,843
But, Mel, would your bone-trembling
anger lead you
218
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:21,347
to destroy Comic Book Guy's
most prized possession?
219
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,473
It would!
220
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:23,641
But it didn't.
221
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:24,725
But it could!
222
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:28,354
And if I did,
I would lie about it to you now!
223
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,647
But I'm not.
224
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,273
But I would!
225
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,362
Why are you wasting your time with me?
226
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:41,450
I love my greasy snowman husband and
his tragic blooper of an action figure.
227
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,453
We have security footage
that says differently.
228
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:54,046
[gasps] It's true.
I hated that injection-molded monstrosity.
229
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:58,384
When I first met Comic Book Guy,
I was his priceless collectible.
230
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,136
But now when we make love,
231
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:03,264
my husband calls out
the doll's serial number.
232
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:07,435
I just want back
my sweet Comic Book Gaijin.
233
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:15,317
So many passengers
could have committed doll-icide.
234
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,902
Huh.
235
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,865
Poor Bart. Ah, but, geez,
look at the mess he left in our cabin.
236
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:23,909
[gasps]
237
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,329
Oh, dear God.
238
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,373
I didn't think Bart did it,
239
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:34,170
but then I found this Radioactive head
from the decapitated doll in Bart's stuff.
240
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,632
He looked me right in the eyes
and said he didn't do it.
241
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,343
I can never trust him again. [cries]
242
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:45,514
Oh, sweetie. You've just learned one
of life's hardest lessons.
243
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,392
Sometimes, no matter how much
you love someone,
244
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,770
they're just going to let you down.
245
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,563
For your mother, it's me.
246
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,690
Just try to get some sleep, honey.
247
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:58,652
Bart will still be horribly guilty
in the morning.
248
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,116
- [sighs] Hmm?
- [knocking on door]
249
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:08,204
Rainier Wolfcastle?
250
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:11,540
There is something I must tell you
about the night of the "fanquet"
251
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,459
and subsequent toy murder.
252
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:17,463
When everything went dark,
I was wearing my night-vision goggles
253
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:20,049
from my upcoming film,
The Night-Vision Goggler.
254
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,884
[gasps] Did you see who did it?
255
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,344
Patience, Fräulein.
256
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:29,099
I did see the culprit, and I'm about
to tell you who he or she is.
257
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,061
Watch as the words emerge from my mouth.
258
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,523
The doll murderer is "nein" other than--
259
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,024
Ouch.
260
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,611
I will be passing out now
and all of these things.
261
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,154
[groans]
262
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,239
[Lisa gasps] Oh!
263
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,207
[groans] Damn it.
264
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:57,920
Ugh.
265
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,635
Lisa, are you also up dusting for prints?
266
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,638
That's what I call eating leftover food
off people's room service trays.
267
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,517
I don't care!
268
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:17,314
If one more horrible thing happens,
I'm going to lose it.
269
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:18,482
[person screams]
270
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:23,028
My sweet Comic Book Guy is gone.
271
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,698
Of course he is.
272
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,909
[inhales] I mean... [screams]
273
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:35,499
Bart's in jail, our one credible witness
just got sucker-shielded,
274
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,959
Comic Book Guy is missing,
275
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,336
and we're still no closer
to solving the case.
276
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:40,963
So many twists and turns.
277
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,007
What kind of murder mystery is this?
278
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,384
Stop talking, Taika Waititi!
279
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:50,306
That's it. I know who murdered the toy,
but I just need one thing.
280
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:53,767
An audience
to watch me milk the big reveal.
281
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,645
The murder
of Comic Book Guy's action figure
282
00:14:56,645 --> 00:15:00,024
was committed by Comic Book Guy himself.
283
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,359
Based on a hunch,
I wrote to Lloyd's of London,
284
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,779
and I got this response
from Lloyd himself. Good guy.
285
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:11,619
Comic Book Guy had the doll appraised
and insured for 935,000 British pounds.
286
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,203
[crowd gasps]
287
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:14,622
So he turned off the lights
288
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,626
and murdered the plastic action man
himself for the insurance money.
289
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,711
But then he knew that we were onto him.
290
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,838
Or, let's face it, I was onto him.
291
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,673
So, he took flight in the dead of night,
292
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,009
but not before planting the doll's head
in Bart's cabin
293
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,011
and knocking out the one witness
to the crime,
294
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,805
washed-up action star Rainier Wolfcastle.
295
00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:34,892
That's fair. [groans, exhales]
296
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,895
Now Comic Book Guy's probably
on a tropical beach somewhere,
297
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:38,979
sipping mai tais.
298
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:43,817
Little does he know that his heinous crime
has been exposed by me,
299
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:44,902
master sleuth,
300
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:51,158
and star of the upcoming reboot
"Kiwi's Big Adventure," Taika Waititi.
301
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:52,576
[crowd cheers]
302
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:55,037
Wow. He really did it.
303
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,002
Oh, my God.
How could I have been so stupid?
304
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,756
Amazing work, Taika Waititi.
305
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:10,010
I know you just cracked the case,
but I have a little theory of my own.
306
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,762
Does anyone wanna hear it?
307
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:12,888
[crowd] No.
308
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,890
Oh, come on, people. What's the harm?
309
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,725
Thank you, Taika.
310
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:22,064
Now, as you recall, there were only two
of these irregular Radioactive Man dolls
311
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,191
made in the whole world.
312
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,567
Oh, I remember.
313
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:30,030
What if the owner of the other doll
received some bad news
314
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:32,700
and broke their action figure
in a fit of rage?
315
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:36,537
And then what if that owner came
on this cruise specifically
316
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:40,290
to swap out their broken figure
for Comic Book Guy's intact one,
317
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,127
so that they could secretly
possess the only Radioactive Man
318
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,546
with Wolverine claws left in existence?
319
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,924
And I just discovered something
quite interesting,
320
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:53,679
thanks to the ship's onboard Wi-Fi,
which is spotty at best.
321
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,139
[all] Mmm.
322
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,974
According to this website,
323
00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,728
that second doll was sold in Wellington,
New Zealand,
324
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:04,064
{\an8}where they spell color with a U.
325
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:08,193
{\an8}Now, who on this boat do we know comes
from New Zealand?
326
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:10,487
{\an8}Well, that's a very clever theory.
327
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,406
{\an8}But if it's a crime
to be from New Zealand,
328
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,659
{\an8}you'd have to arrest both guys
from Flight of the Conchords.
329
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,995
{\an8}What are their names again?
Fred and Jimothy.
330
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,288
[crowd murmurs]
331
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,497
You might be right.
332
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:22,082
But consider that the shield,
333
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,085
that incapacitated the only witness
to the crime,
334
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,880
seems to be covered with goo.
335
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,174
What manner of goo?
336
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:35,846
Dad, I know this is a weird ask,
but would you mind licking this-- Oh.
337
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,265
Ugh. Ew. Salty.
338
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,059
Yeasty.
339
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,770
Ugh, with hints of malty grossness.
340
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,522
Vegemite.
341
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,400
The favorite food of Taika Waititi.
342
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,738
Or should I say "fav-our-ite"?
343
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,948
[crowd murmuring]
344
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,494
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about
the scratch marks on Bart Simpson's face?
345
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,121
Those had to come
from the tiny claws on the doll he broke.
346
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:05,292
{\an8}Did they?
Or maybe they came from this seafood fork.
347
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:09,296
My dad was selfishly shoveling pre-shucked
shellfish down his shrimp shaft--
348
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,464
one take... [chuckles]
349
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:13,509
...and he accidentally
scratched Bart on his cheek.
350
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,971
That silver-haired,
multi-hyphenate is guilty as sin.
351
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:22,309
{\an8}[chuckles] Not without one more piece
of damning evidence, I'm not.
352
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,812
You can't just tear my cabin apart.
353
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,146
You need a warrant.
354
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:29,650
No, we don't.
We're in international waters.
355
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,652
We're in the middle of Lake Springfield.
356
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,071
I can see the Lard Lad statue from here.
357
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:38,075
Here it is.
Comic Book Guy's original doll, unbroken.
358
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:40,410
Damn it. Yes, it's true, Lenny.
359
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,495
I did it.
360
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:44,289
I threw my New Zealand Radioactive Man
across the room
361
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,918
when I found out the streamer was
shelving the second season of my series
362
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,002
without airing it!
363
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,838
For tax purposes?
364
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,339
Yes, for tax purposes!
365
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,134
So I hatched this plan,
because I needed the money
366
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,637
to throw into my already
enormous pile of money.
367
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,974
You haven't seen the last of me!
368
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,393
I've got powerful friends in New Zealand.
369
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:09,064
Hobbits, Orcs, Lorde,
Ents, Melanie Lynskey.
370
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,607
The "How Bizarre" guy.
371
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,484
We are a powerful nation.
372
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,903
[screams] Ow! Ow!
373
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:19,366
Lisa, your explanation was comprehensive
and utterly persuasive.
374
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:23,203
But as I was headed to get an orange soda
from the refrigerator,
375
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:26,623
one nagging problem did occur to me.
You see--
376
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:29,084
Oh, no.
Don't you dare start pulling threads.
377
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,211
That's not how mysteries work.
378
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,755
Once a smart character
like Sherlock Holmes or Lisa
379
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,633
does a super long explanation
of all the stuff you didn't notice
380
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,220
because you're dumb,
you just believe it and move on.
381
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,388
[crowd cheers]
382
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,808
There is one thing I can't figure out.
383
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,435
What happened to Comic Book Guy?
384
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,896
I mean, we looked everywhere.
385
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,107
[gasps] Except the one place
he would never go.
386
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:57,988
Oh, my sarcastic darling.
387
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,531
What happened to you?
388
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,074
Permit me to explain.
389
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:03,493
[Homer groans] More explaining?
390
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:07,706
[Comic Book Guy] When Lisa and
Taika Waititi began questioning suspects,
391
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,541
I set up a surveillance device,
392
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:13,462
because I wanted to mock
their inept methods of interrogation.
393
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,797
I hate Comic Book Guy.
394
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,799
But then again, so does everyone.
395
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:21,428
He smells like baked beans
that have been left out in the sun.
396
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,222
I loathe his voice.
397
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,558
Who speaks
with such exaggerated affectation?
398
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:29,561
[Comic Book Guy] No one should ever hear
what people actually think of them.
399
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:33,440
Apparently, I am not a beloved
quirky character like Kramer.
400
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:37,236
Instead, I am widely reviled
like the guy who played Kramer.
401
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:42,908
So I hid here surrounded only by shame
and whatever these metal things are.
402
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,160
- [Marge] Mmm.
- [Bart grunts]
403
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,956
I don't wanna get all sincere and emo,
but thanks, Lisa.
404
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,582
{\an8}You never lost faith in me.
405
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,669
Well, if I'm being totally honest...
406
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,421
I never did.
407
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:04,304
I just want back
my sweet Comic Book Gaijin.
408
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:10,060
Once again,
a critical lesson is learned via hologram.
409
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,688
I have been a fool.
410
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,170
Best husband ever.
411
00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:42,342
[both moaning]
412
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,947
[car squeaking]
413
00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:12,914
[groaning]
414
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,669
Get out of there and come to bed.
415
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:20,714
I'll never let go.
416
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,384
Shh!