1
00:00:07,715 --> 00:00:10,655
[Marge] Hustle your bustle,
kids, we got to go!
2
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:12,825
[munching angrily]
3
00:00:12,926 --> 00:00:14,796
Our day is packed
with doctor visits.
4
00:00:14,896 --> 00:00:18,938
So wrap up your angry food
shoveling and get in the car.
5
00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:22,311
Oh, this is gonna be a long day.
6
00:00:23,246 --> 00:00:25,483
- Oh, I hope so.
- Huh?
7
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,656
Don't you get it?
This is a setup.
8
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:30,695
Mom and Dad told us we're gonna
have the worst day ever,
9
00:00:30,795 --> 00:00:35,739
which means we're really
going to have the best day ever.
10
00:00:35,839 --> 00:00:37,876
- Wha...?
- You and I are about to be
11
00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:39,546
the stars of a "Mom-and-Dad
12
00:00:39,647 --> 00:00:43,386
in-car bait-and-switch" video.
- Guh?
13
00:00:43,386 --> 00:00:46,827
[groans] Put down your books
and read a phone sometime.
14
00:00:47,663 --> 00:00:50,033
[mother] You ready to go get
your new braces?
15
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,302
Guess so.
16
00:00:51,403 --> 00:00:53,140
[mother]
Well, we're not doing that.
17
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,244
We're taking you to Krustyland!
18
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:56,313
Yay!
19
00:00:56,413 --> 00:00:58,885
We're not sprinkling
Grandma's ashes today.
20
00:00:58,985 --> 00:01:00,888
We're going to Krustyland!
21
00:01:00,888 --> 00:01:02,793
[both]
Yay!
22
00:01:02,893 --> 00:01:04,663
We're not going to Krustyland.
23
00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:06,633
We're going to church.
24
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,236
[both]
Yay!
25
00:01:10,106 --> 00:01:11,877
So Mom and Dad are punking us,
26
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:14,148
and this is really gonna be
a fun thing?
27
00:01:14,148 --> 00:01:17,589
Exactly,
we are getting funk'd.
28
00:01:17,589 --> 00:01:18,624
[car horn honks]
29
00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,494
[both]
Krustyland.
30
00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:24,335
We're almost at
"the medical center."
31
00:01:24,435 --> 00:01:28,477
I hope I'm tall enough
to ride the EKG machine.
32
00:01:28,477 --> 00:01:30,047
[both laugh]
33
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,917
[Homer]
We're here.
34
00:01:32,017 --> 00:01:34,823
[laughter]
35
00:01:34,923 --> 00:01:35,958
[Lisa screams]
36
00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:36,960
Wha...?
37
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:39,198
This is a doctor's office.
38
00:01:39,198 --> 00:01:40,835
There was no bait and switch.
39
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,070
It was all bait!
40
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,042
No, no. This is Krustyland.
41
00:01:44,142 --> 00:01:45,211
It has to be.
42
00:01:45,311 --> 00:01:47,114
I'm going on the roller coaster.
43
00:01:48,383 --> 00:01:49,686
Whee!
44
00:01:49,786 --> 00:01:52,424
Whee... ze.
45
00:01:52,424 --> 00:01:55,063
Which doctor
are you here to see?
46
00:01:55,164 --> 00:01:56,901
- All of them.
- Like most Americans,
47
00:01:57,001 --> 00:02:00,975
our insurance is terrible
and has a giant deductible.
48
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,846
Which we just met yesterday.
49
00:02:02,946 --> 00:02:04,816
Thank you, kidney stones.
50
00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:05,952
[groans]
51
00:02:06,052 --> 00:02:08,356
And our new insurance year
starts tomorrow.
52
00:02:08,456 --> 00:02:10,895
So today is the only day
that everything's free.
53
00:02:10,995 --> 00:02:14,669
So we're doing a whole year
of medical stuff in one day.
54
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:17,240
Look, I went to
the Krustyland snack bar!
55
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,580
I got 20cc's of
super silly saline.
56
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,118
[giggling]
Hey-hey!
57
00:02:22,218 --> 00:02:24,657
♪ It's not about the money,
money, money ♪
58
00:02:24,757 --> 00:02:26,760
♪ We don't need your money,
money, money ♪
59
00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:30,200
♪ We just want to make
the world dance ♪
60
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,539
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
61
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,511
♪ Ain't about the, uh,
cha-ching, cha-ching ♪
62
00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:39,284
♪ Ain't about the, yeah,
ba-bling, ba-bling ♪
63
00:02:39,384 --> 00:02:40,988
♪ Want to make the world dance ♪
64
00:02:41,088 --> 00:02:43,761
♪ Forget about the price tag ♪
65
00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,801
♪ It's not about the money,
money, money ♪
66
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:49,540
♪ We don't need your money,
money, money ♪
67
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,612
♪ We just want to make
the world dance... ♪
68
00:02:52,612 --> 00:02:55,818
What a productive,
unpleasant day.
69
00:02:55,918 --> 00:02:59,125
We've got to get one nice thing
out of this day.
70
00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:01,764
At least take us out for treats.
71
00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:02,966
Treats it is.
72
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,705
We'll even get one for Maggie
for getting her eye test.
73
00:03:05,705 --> 00:03:09,512
♪ Yeah! ♪
74
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:16,025
One Mandalorian Mango Jango
with 3-CP-Oat milk.
75
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:17,929
That's $6.99.
76
00:03:18,029 --> 00:03:19,432
[beeps]
77
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,770
Enter your tip and sign here.
78
00:03:23,273 --> 00:03:25,243
[whimpering]
79
00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,749
Oh, fine.
80
00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:29,719
[muttering]
81
00:03:33,159 --> 00:03:34,529
You want a tip?
82
00:03:34,529 --> 00:03:36,332
It's self-serve.
We did all the work.
83
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:39,404
Hey, that iPad
didn't swivel itself.
84
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:42,812
[groans]
85
00:03:42,912 --> 00:03:44,749
[beeping]
86
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,922
- [beeping continues]
- [groans]
87
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,395
[groans]
88
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,869
- [groans]
- [beeping continues]
89
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:55,872
[panting]
90
00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:57,475
Dad, are you all right?
91
00:03:57,576 --> 00:04:00,748
Oh, I just suffered death
by a thousand swipes,
92
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:03,554
but at least now
it's time for my treat.
93
00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:08,496
Here's your Literary
Sampler Platter.
94
00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:11,102
Chicken Tenders is the Night,
A Farewell to Parms,
95
00:04:11,202 --> 00:04:13,239
Occurrence at Owl Creek Ribs.
96
00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:17,949
Mmm... fried references.
97
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,520
My shift's ending,
98
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:20,955
so I'll just leave this
with you.
99
00:04:21,055 --> 00:04:21,990
[groans]
100
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:24,896
Better get my "figuring out
the tip" glasses.
101
00:04:24,996 --> 00:04:28,103
Wouldn't be a meal if
it didn't end with a math test.
102
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:31,209
The service fee
is already included?
103
00:04:31,309 --> 00:04:32,812
I'm outraged!
104
00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:33,814
But also relieved.
105
00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,618
At least nobody's
leaning over my shoulder
106
00:04:35,718 --> 00:04:37,220
to shame me into leaving a tip.
107
00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:39,358
Actually, there is room
at the bottom
108
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,228
for an additional gratuity.
109
00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,499
Right next to
where I pre-thanked you.
110
00:04:45,303 --> 00:04:47,608
What? They include the tip,
111
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:50,079
and then I have to tip
on top of the tip?
112
00:04:50,079 --> 00:04:51,483
A tip top tip?
113
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:53,988
Mm. I'll show them.
114
00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:56,694
- [clicks]
- I know that click.
115
00:04:56,794 --> 00:04:59,465
"No. Thank you.
116
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,306
Here's one dollar. Okay?"
117
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:04,809
We're leaving!
118
00:05:09,385 --> 00:05:11,890
Mr. Simpson!
Mr. Simpson, wait!
119
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:14,028
Oh, great.
Here's the part where she says,
120
00:05:14,028 --> 00:05:16,132
"Was there something wrong
with the service?"
121
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:17,535
And I throw potato skins at her.
122
00:05:17,635 --> 00:05:21,744
Oh, thank you so much,
you wonderful man!
123
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:23,847
[Marge gasps]
124
00:05:23,947 --> 00:05:27,020
You tipped her $10,000?
125
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,429
No! I tipped her one. "O.K."
126
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:33,935
Ten K! Ah! [laughs]
127
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:36,606
I've never had this much money
in my life!
128
00:05:36,706 --> 00:05:37,809
Us neither.
129
00:05:37,909 --> 00:05:41,650
Yo, this guy just
tipped Sandee $10,000.
130
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:43,620
You don't know
what this means to me.
131
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,390
[cries]
132
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,261
We don't have $10,000.
133
00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,265
We don't have 10,000
of anything.
134
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,135
Homer, you have to fix this.
135
00:05:51,135 --> 00:05:53,306
Okay, you're right.
I got this.
136
00:05:53,407 --> 00:05:55,778
Excuse me,
can I get that check back?
137
00:05:55,878 --> 00:05:57,047
Why?
138
00:05:58,049 --> 00:05:59,686
[cries] Why?!
139
00:05:59,786 --> 00:06:01,289
- [jeering]
- What a jerk!
140
00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:05,164
Yo, this guy just stole
$10,000 from Sandee.
141
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,398
- Get him.
- [grunts]
142
00:06:06,398 --> 00:06:07,702
[grunting]
143
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,140
There was already a gratuity
on the bill.
144
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,044
[grunting]
145
00:06:12,545 --> 00:06:15,784
Why? Why did you
want the check back?
146
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:20,661
So I can underline the $10,000.
147
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:22,966
[cheering]
148
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:26,606
Yo, this guy just underlined
the $10,000-tip
149
00:06:26,706 --> 00:06:28,877
he gave Sandee, get him!
150
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:30,681
[cheering, whooping]
151
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:32,785
[groans]
152
00:06:37,494 --> 00:06:39,498
- [cheering]
- Your accidental tip went viral.
153
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,102
The American dream.
154
00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:44,441
Now we'll be in debt
for the rest of our lives!
155
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,713
The American reality.
156
00:06:46,713 --> 00:06:49,185
Look, baby,
no one's madder at me than me,
157
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:50,755
but me have a plan.
158
00:06:50,855 --> 00:06:53,894
We call the credit card company,
report the card stolen,
159
00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:56,231
and then shave our heads
and join a cult.
160
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,602
One of the ones
where you don't have to
161
00:06:57,602 --> 00:06:59,038
have sex with the leader.
162
00:06:59,038 --> 00:07:00,708
There is no such cult!
163
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:02,478
You need to go
back to that restaurant
164
00:07:02,579 --> 00:07:05,383
and explain that
this was all a mistake.
165
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:06,520
I will.
166
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,155
I was gonna go back there anyway
167
00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:12,230
for the bottomless chili fries,
but now I have two reasons.
168
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:17,575
Okay, time to hit undo
on last night's ten-K typo.
169
00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:20,480
Hey, that's the big tip guy.
170
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,484
Ooh! Can I get an autograph?
171
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:25,257
Oh, signing things is
what got me into this mess.
172
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:27,260
Hey! You're the guy
on the cover
173
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,997
of the only newspaper
left in the world.
174
00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:32,071
[Homer] I'm in the paper
for something I remember doing.
175
00:07:32,171 --> 00:07:34,542
- Let me get a copy.
- That'll be one dollar.
176
00:07:34,643 --> 00:07:37,114
How much do you think
he's gonna tip?
177
00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:39,151
A lot or a whole lot?
178
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:41,221
Yarr. I'm putting on me slicker,
179
00:07:41,221 --> 00:07:43,994
'cause he's gonna
splash the cash.
180
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,134
Keep the change, pal.
181
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,369
[cheering]
182
00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:50,941
The most generous man in town.
183
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,681
Until today,
I always felt invisible,
184
00:07:53,781 --> 00:07:55,050
like Wonder Woman's plane
185
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,521
or the guy selling flowers
on the off-ramp.
186
00:07:57,521 --> 00:07:59,660
But for the first time,
I am seen.
187
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:02,297
It's not that I wasn't enough,
my tips weren't.
188
00:08:02,297 --> 00:08:07,374
Mr. Monopoly was wrong.
You can put a price on money.
189
00:08:07,374 --> 00:08:10,414
From now on,
I'm gonna tip like Ben Affleck
190
00:08:10,515 --> 00:08:12,985
and J.Lo's out of town, baby.
191
00:08:12,985 --> 00:08:14,956
[cheering, whooping]
192
00:08:14,956 --> 00:08:18,296
[Quincy Jones'
"Soul Bossa Nova" playing]
193
00:08:18,296 --> 00:08:20,199
♪ ♪
194
00:08:33,192 --> 00:08:35,196
♪ ♪
195
00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,456
[music stops]
196
00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:49,492
[snaps]
197
00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:51,796
[music resumes]
198
00:09:01,148 --> 00:09:03,319
[humming "Soul Bossa Nova"]
199
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:08,864
Marge, I just had
the best day of my life.
200
00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:13,039
They gave my burrito
the most rice of anybody.
201
00:09:13,139 --> 00:09:17,681
So that's why I've been
bombarded by overdraft alerts.
202
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:21,757
Don't worry, honey,
I can make it all right.
203
00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:25,030
Let me show you how to turn off
those notifications.
204
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:28,871
Homer, we need to have
a serious talk.
205
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:32,210
Oh, boy, then I'm gonna need
some Mexican courage.
206
00:09:34,515 --> 00:09:35,818
[slurps, gulps]
207
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:39,726
[sighs] You were supposed to
get our money back,
208
00:09:39,726 --> 00:09:41,395
not give away more.
209
00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:44,368
Your tipping has gotten
out of control.
210
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,539
But it feels so good
to be appreciated.
211
00:09:46,639 --> 00:09:47,808
For once,
people aren't judging me
212
00:09:47,908 --> 00:09:52,083
by the content of my character
but by the content of my wallet.
213
00:09:52,183 --> 00:09:54,922
You wiped out our savings
and put us in debt.
214
00:09:55,023 --> 00:09:57,294
And look what it's doing
to our children.
215
00:09:57,394 --> 00:09:59,031
Dad, where's my bike?
216
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,402
How would I know? I don't know.
You probably lost it.
217
00:10:01,503 --> 00:10:03,139
Dad...
218
00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:04,642
I tipped it!
219
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:05,778
I gave it to my barber
220
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,916
because he cleaned up
my eyebrows.
221
00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,654
[crying]
I'm so sorry, Bart!
222
00:10:10,654 --> 00:10:12,858
I'm so sorry.
223
00:10:14,796 --> 00:10:16,298
Oh, there, there.
224
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,802
Dad, you have a problem,
225
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:21,141
but I love you
and I'll always be here for you.
226
00:10:21,242 --> 00:10:22,679
You're a good son.
227
00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:24,315
Here, for your troubles.
228
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:25,985
- Hey!
- Let this slide
229
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:28,289
and there's
a vacuum cleaner in it for you.
230
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:30,561
Homer, this has to stop now!
231
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:33,701
- Stop it!
- Marge, for once you're right.
232
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,236
I have a serious problem.
233
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:37,542
But, like any addiction,
it can easily be stopped
234
00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:39,946
by just deciding to stop.
235
00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:42,818
I'm going cold turkey.
I swear to you.
236
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,454
I'll never again waste money
237
00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:47,327
trying to fill
an unfillable void.
238
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:52,470
Exact change? Huh. That's it?
239
00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:54,609
Oh, I really want
to tip you, Moe,
240
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:56,846
but I promised my wife I'd quit.
241
00:10:56,946 --> 00:10:58,215
Here's a thought, Homer.
242
00:10:58,215 --> 00:11:00,086
Uh, what if you took the moolah
out of your pocket,
243
00:11:00,086 --> 00:11:02,490
but you just stop
before anything happened.
244
00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:05,030
You know, uh,
everything but the tip.
245
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:07,868
That doesn't seem like
it could lead to anything.
246
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:10,072
Sure it couldn't.
247
00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:18,255
We shouldn't have done that.
248
00:11:18,255 --> 00:11:20,928
Does that mean that
you want to stop?
249
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,464
No.
250
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,334
[moaning]
251
00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:26,238
It feels so good.
252
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,110
Don't stop, you generous man.
253
00:11:29,512 --> 00:11:30,748
Oh, yeah,
give it to me, big boy.
254
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,017
- You like that?
- Oh, that's the spot.
255
00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:33,887
- I can do this all night.
- Right there.
256
00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:35,156
- Tell me you want it.
- Oh, God!
257
00:11:35,156 --> 00:11:36,793
- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, God! Oh, God!
258
00:11:36,893 --> 00:11:39,865
- Oh, God! Oh, God.
- Yes!
259
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,470
I need a new bar.
260
00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:44,842
[grunts]
Where you going?
261
00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:46,446
I can't stop tipping, Moe.
262
00:11:46,446 --> 00:11:47,849
I'm hooked on the rush.
263
00:11:47,849 --> 00:11:50,320
I got a monkey on my back,
and he's got his hand out.
264
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,790
But what about us?
265
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:54,996
No one service worker
can satisfy my needs.
266
00:11:54,996 --> 00:11:58,402
God help me,
I'm a tip-phomaniac.
267
00:11:59,438 --> 00:12:01,843
[slower version of
"Soul Bossa Nova" playing]
268
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:05,751
[groaning]
269
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,370
♪ ♪
270
00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:42,457
♪ ♪
271
00:12:49,271 --> 00:12:50,674
[crying]
272
00:12:50,774 --> 00:12:53,379
I'm a curse on my family.
273
00:12:53,379 --> 00:12:55,316
They're 20%--
274
00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:56,853
no, 22%--
275
00:12:56,953 --> 00:12:59,290
better off without me.
276
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:04,034
I'll take my misery to go.
277
00:13:09,846 --> 00:13:11,583
Hey, it's Mr. Generous.
278
00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:13,352
What are you doing here?
279
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:15,023
I've hit rock bottom
280
00:13:15,123 --> 00:13:17,293
and I need to be with family.
281
00:13:17,393 --> 00:13:20,032
Well, who were those people
you were eating with?
282
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,870
Just my wife and some kids.
283
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:25,578
My real family are
the people I tip, like you.
284
00:13:25,678 --> 00:13:27,582
You love me, right?
285
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,320
Oh, you poor generous man.
286
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,890
I do love you.
287
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:34,494
You'll always be welcome here.
288
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:36,599
[moans]
289
00:13:37,502 --> 00:13:39,873
You love me, right?
290
00:13:39,873 --> 00:13:42,611
- Creep!
- [shouting]
291
00:13:44,314 --> 00:13:45,483
Leave me alone!
292
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:48,590
So our transaction was just...
293
00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:50,861
transactional?
294
00:14:00,848 --> 00:14:01,984
[coughing]
295
00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:03,920
Am I alive? Is this a dream?
296
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:05,524
Somebody pinch me.
297
00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:07,060
Ow!
298
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,397
I'm awake, you can stop now.
299
00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:15,209
You saved my life.
300
00:14:15,309 --> 00:14:16,946
Here's a little something
for your troubles.
301
00:14:17,046 --> 00:14:18,516
Why you give me this money?
302
00:14:18,616 --> 00:14:20,420
Fausto no work for crab man.
303
00:14:20,521 --> 00:14:21,690
No, it's a tip.
304
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:23,092
It's all I know.
305
00:14:23,192 --> 00:14:25,230
And it's destroyed
my marriage and my life.
306
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:29,338
How I wish I had never heard
of thanking people.
307
00:14:29,338 --> 00:14:30,741
Well, your bloated body
308
00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:32,511
drifted to the right
neighborhood, my friend.
309
00:14:32,511 --> 00:14:33,913
Nobody tips here.
310
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,416
It's forbidden.
311
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:36,552
No tipping?
312
00:14:36,652 --> 00:14:38,524
What is this amazing place?
313
00:14:38,524 --> 00:14:40,560
Welcome to Little Europe.
314
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,664
♪ ♪
315
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,436
I'm home.
316
00:14:45,537 --> 00:14:47,373
Yi yo yu.
317
00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:50,780
There's no sign
of Homer anywhere.
318
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:53,118
Okay, the first 24 hours
are crucial.
319
00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:55,557
Do you have a recent photo?
320
00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:58,863
Not him. You.
321
00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:00,934
For your dating profile.
322
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,705
- [camera clicks]
- This is good.
323
00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:03,974
You look desperate.
324
00:15:04,074 --> 00:15:05,443
Guys love that.
325
00:15:05,544 --> 00:15:06,680
I don't want to date.
326
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,448
I want to find my husband.
327
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,453
"Marriage minded."
328
00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:11,823
Don't mention the kids.
329
00:15:11,923 --> 00:15:14,094
Bring them up on date three.
[chuckles]
330
00:15:14,194 --> 00:15:16,533
Just before the sex.
331
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:17,868
Oh, my God.
332
00:15:17,968 --> 00:15:19,872
We only have two
and a half dates to find Dad.
333
00:15:19,972 --> 00:15:21,576
At least we know he's alive.
334
00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:23,479
He's ordering things on Amazon.
335
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,450
A universal power adapter.
336
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:26,886
Bicycle pants clips.
337
00:15:26,986 --> 00:15:28,757
12-pack of fanny packs?
338
00:15:28,857 --> 00:15:31,596
Case of cologne, but no soap.
339
00:15:31,596 --> 00:15:34,367
I know exactly where he is.
340
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,471
[humming]
341
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:38,610
Dad?
342
00:15:38,710 --> 00:15:39,979
Hola, mes petite--
343
00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:41,248
how you say?-- children.
344
00:15:41,349 --> 00:15:44,288
Give your papi
a European handshake.
345
00:15:44,288 --> 00:15:46,759
[smooching]
346
00:15:46,859 --> 00:15:48,897
What are you doing
in Little Europe?
347
00:15:48,997 --> 00:15:50,534
I'm going
to five different shops
348
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:53,640
to get the ingredients
to make one sandwich.
349
00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:58,616
One smear of
your brownest mustard, Jorge.
350
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:07,668
That'll be three deutsche-lira
and 99 pence.
351
00:16:07,768 --> 00:16:09,505
And not a franc more.
352
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:11,008
Mom's a total mess.
353
00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:12,511
You've got to come home.
354
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:13,914
This is my home now.
355
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,449
I can live a happy life here,
356
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,889
free from the demon
of generosity.
357
00:16:17,989 --> 00:16:19,457
So this is all about tipping?
358
00:16:19,558 --> 00:16:22,397
No, it's about
the European mindset
359
00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:24,000
of not tipping.
360
00:16:24,802 --> 00:16:27,273
♪ ♪
361
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:54,294
♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
362
00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,141
♪ That's money ♪
363
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:38,215
♪ That's Bart ♪
364
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,189
♪ That's fair ♪
365
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,738
Dad, this place is amazing.
366
00:17:49,838 --> 00:17:51,509
I know.
367
00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:54,014
If only Springfield
was like this,
368
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,551
then I could go back to your mom
369
00:17:55,651 --> 00:17:58,856
without my addiction
destroying the family.
370
00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:03,165
Dad, if you came back with us,
371
00:18:03,265 --> 00:18:04,668
you could change things.
372
00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:08,442
You could inspire everyone
to make Springfield like here.
373
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:11,314
You really think Americans
can learn something
374
00:18:11,414 --> 00:18:13,185
from the country of Europe?
375
00:18:13,285 --> 00:18:15,924
Not just learn it, but steal it
and call it our own.
376
00:18:16,024 --> 00:18:18,062
Like pizza or fascism.
377
00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:20,332
I'll do it to heal our family.
378
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:22,270
Let's grab an early dinner
at 10:00 p.m.,
379
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:24,041
then ride the mini-Chunnel
back to Springfield.
380
00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:26,312
I'm going to take my message
to the people
381
00:18:26,412 --> 00:18:28,583
who tipping affects the most.
382
00:18:29,518 --> 00:18:32,290
[announcer]
Live from the Servers
Of America Guild Theater.
383
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:35,496
It's the 75th Annual SAG Awards.
384
00:18:35,597 --> 00:18:36,632
[cheering]
385
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:41,308
Hello, my name is Gary, and I'll
be your presenter this evening.
386
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:42,678
- [grunts]
- Friends,
387
00:18:42,778 --> 00:18:44,213
waiters, pepper-grinders,
388
00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:45,951
lend me your ears.
389
00:18:46,051 --> 00:18:47,788
My name is Homer Simpson
390
00:18:47,888 --> 00:18:49,959
and I am addicted to tipping.
391
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:51,629
It was a compulsion so powerful
392
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:54,535
that I ran away
from the woman I love.
393
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:58,442
Well, I'm here to tell you
there's a better way.
394
00:18:58,543 --> 00:19:02,284
What if all restaurant workers
were paid a living wage?
395
00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:04,488
That way you wouldn't have
to rely on tips,
396
00:19:04,589 --> 00:19:08,028
and diners would know
how much everything costs.
397
00:19:08,028 --> 00:19:10,701
Get rid of tips
and live a better life.
398
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,169
Who's with me?
399
00:19:12,169 --> 00:19:13,574
[cheering]
400
00:19:13,574 --> 00:19:16,245
My fellow wait-staff,
this man is right.
401
00:19:16,345 --> 00:19:19,852
We can, we shall, we must,
402
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:21,923
serve justice
403
00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:24,260
with a side of equanimity.
404
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:26,231
No substitutions.
405
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,101
[audience cheering]
406
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,940
♪ ♪
407
00:19:35,249 --> 00:19:38,122
Get rid of tips
and live a better life.
408
00:19:38,222 --> 00:19:39,825
Who's with me?
409
00:19:39,825 --> 00:19:42,096
[booing]
410
00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:43,399
Get rid of tips?
411
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:46,371
Well, that's how I decide
whose food not to spit in.
412
00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:48,376
This is the worst idea
in our industry
413
00:19:48,376 --> 00:19:50,246
since tableside guacamole.
414
00:19:50,246 --> 00:19:53,285
Yo! The guy
who tipped Sandee $10,000
415
00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:56,024
is trying to take away
our tips. Get him!
416
00:19:56,124 --> 00:19:58,964
[Homer grunting]
417
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,634
This time it's happening
for real!
418
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:02,704
[grunting]
419
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:06,245
I can't believe
I didn't fundamentally change
420
00:20:06,345 --> 00:20:09,251
the service economy
with one awards show speech.
421
00:20:09,351 --> 00:20:12,023
Oh, Homie,
I know it's hard for you
422
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,360
to be generous, but you tried.
423
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,232
And I'm not going
to hold it against you
424
00:20:16,232 --> 00:20:17,902
for taking it too far.
425
00:20:17,902 --> 00:20:20,573
Seeing you bare your soul
on that stage tonight,
426
00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:22,978
it gave me an idea
for how we can fix
427
00:20:23,078 --> 00:20:27,386
our money problems and confront
your addiction to tipping.
428
00:20:29,024 --> 00:20:30,292
Hello, my name is Homer.
429
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:32,330
And I'll be your server tonight.
430
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,067
Would you like
still or sparkling water?
431
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,436
Just tap.
432
00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:37,040
And more free bread.
433
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,710
[groans] Oh...
434
00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:40,446
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
435
00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:42,183
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
436
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,720
and TOYOTA.
437
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:46,024
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
438
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,704
♪ Little E.U., Little E.U. ♪
439
00:20:52,704 --> 00:20:55,209
♪ Little E.U. is the place to be
in the party now ♪
440
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:58,049
♪ Flat price ♪
441
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,152
♪ I'm sane, so sane ♪
442
00:21:00,152 --> 00:21:02,223
♪ Sir, can't you see? ♪
443
00:21:02,323 --> 00:21:03,593
♪ Let's look, can't you see? ♪
444
00:21:03,693 --> 00:21:06,331
♪ Our health care is free ♪
445
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:09,437
♪ And they pay us enough ♪
446
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:10,607
♪ That's money! ♪
447
00:21:10,707 --> 00:21:13,646
♪ To just hand you your stuff ♪
448
00:21:13,747 --> 00:21:14,447
♪ That stuff ♪
449
00:21:14,548 --> 00:21:16,351
♪ Lots of stuff ♪
450
00:21:16,451 --> 00:21:19,357
♪ Don't give us more math
to do, math to do ♪
451
00:21:19,458 --> 00:21:21,461
♪ Let's go! ♪
452
00:21:21,562 --> 00:21:24,233
♪ The printed price
is all that's due ♪
453
00:21:24,334 --> 00:21:25,369
♪ That's fair! ♪
454
00:21:25,469 --> 00:21:26,873
♪ When you're in Little E.U. ♪
455
00:21:26,873 --> 00:21:28,977
♪ That's the place,
E.U., baby! ♪
456
00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:30,980
Shh!