1 00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:04,503 ♪ 2 00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,584 [carnival music playing] 3 00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:14,162 Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a strange circus 4 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,848 just appeared out of nowhere? 5 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:18,925 Oh, come on, Lisa. You love circuseses. 6 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,019 I hate them. 7 00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:22,170 I've literally gotten three shut down 8 00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:23,597 just in the past year. 9 00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:26,917 Yes, but this one's only exploiting people. 10 00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:28,861 I want to see the dog-faced man. 11 00:00:28,937 --> 00:00:30,529 And the man-faced dog. 12 00:00:30,606 --> 00:00:32,865 -Who walks who? -[Homer and Bart laugh] 13 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,092 Mom, surely you're not-- 14 00:00:35,094 --> 00:00:37,944 Step right up and see Pint-Sized Hercules, 15 00:00:38,097 --> 00:00:39,872 the world's strongest boy. 16 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:43,375 [gasps] He's got tiny little abs. 17 00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:44,859 [sighs] 18 00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,772 [ringmaster] I'm sorry, but you're fired. 19 00:00:48,774 --> 00:00:51,550 Times have changed. You're just not the draw you used to be. 20 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,278 You're got fewer tattoos than the average chef. 21 00:00:54,296 --> 00:00:56,129 Uh, yes, but mine are-- 22 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:58,373 Mystical portals to an alternate reality. 23 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,450 Look, if kids want mystical portals, 24 00:01:00,452 --> 00:01:01,785 they'll look at their phones. 25 00:01:01,787 --> 00:01:04,480 Hand over your freak badge and your tattoo gun. 26 00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:10,569 [gasps] 27 00:01:10,646 --> 00:01:12,053 Excuse me. 28 00:01:12,131 --> 00:01:14,464 How much to see the Illustrated Man? 29 00:01:14,466 --> 00:01:16,742 Forget it, kid. I'm retired. 30 00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:18,226 Okay, best of luck to you. 31 00:01:18,304 --> 00:01:19,894 [laughs] Oh, you don't give up, do you? 32 00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:21,638 All right, have a seat. 33 00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:25,900 If you stare at one of my tattoos long enough, 34 00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:27,902 it tells a story... 35 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:31,507 strange and unusual. 36 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,075 How long does it take? 37 00:01:34,095 --> 00:01:36,595 It's a miracle! Give it two seconds. 38 00:01:36,672 --> 00:01:39,656 Strange and unusual. 39 00:01:39,658 --> 00:01:40,991 [wind blowing] 40 00:01:40,993 --> 00:01:42,351 [gasps] 41 00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,943 -[woman screams] -What the...? 42 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:53,928 [woman screams] 43 00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:56,115 Hello? Lady? 44 00:01:56,191 --> 00:01:57,932 Is someone down there? 45 00:01:57,934 --> 00:01:59,860 [woman screams] 46 00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:02,329 Aw, gee whiz, she's buried alive. 47 00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:06,750 Hang in there, lady. I'll get help. 48 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,130 Mom, Dad, there's a screaming woman in the woods, 49 00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,689 and she's buried alive. 50 00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:13,966 We got to dig her out. 51 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,026 Calm down, noisy pants. 52 00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:19,454 You know your father only has a two-hour lunch break. 53 00:02:19,531 --> 00:02:21,865 But she's screaming for help. 54 00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaking of screaming women, 55 00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:25,719 I heard that Luann Van Houten 56 00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:27,587 got into a row with Miss Hoover 57 00:02:27,665 --> 00:02:30,983 for telling everyone that Luann dyes her hair. 58 00:02:31,059 --> 00:02:32,376 She's got enough trouble 59 00:02:32,378 --> 00:02:34,486 married to a dead-end dipstick like Kirk. 60 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:37,381 Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am. The lady's gonna run out of air. 61 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:40,308 I used to work with that loser at Double Beef Burger. 62 00:02:40,386 --> 00:02:42,977 They play their jingle all day long. 63 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,738 -Now, how did that go? -[groans] 64 00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:47,057 Who cares about burger jingles? 65 00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,725 She's gonna die! 66 00:02:48,727 --> 00:02:52,838 I think we all know this is another one of your famous fibs. 67 00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:54,398 Yeah, like that time you said 68 00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:56,341 there was a boy in the woods crying wolf, 69 00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,585 and when we got there, there was no boy at all. 70 00:02:58,662 --> 00:02:59,920 Just a fat wolf. 71 00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:02,055 [groans] 72 00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:05,601 Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up. 73 00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:12,173 [line twangs] 74 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,341 Milhouse, what are you doing? 75 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,843 Just playing a game on my phone. 76 00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,345 Listen to me, there's a screaming woman 77 00:03:17,423 --> 00:03:19,698 buried in the woods, and I need your help digging her up. 78 00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:21,200 No can do, Bart. 79 00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:22,609 I'm at my grandma's. 80 00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:24,036 Had my calls forwarded. 81 00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:26,354 I won't be back for another three days. 82 00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:29,266 We can play the screaming woman game then. 83 00:03:29,268 --> 00:03:31,101 It's not a game! 84 00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:34,713 Ugh. I lost all my high scores. 85 00:03:36,775 --> 00:03:40,126 All right, I'll just check every house in the neighborhood 86 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:43,371 until I find the one that's missing a lady. 87 00:03:43,449 --> 00:03:45,349 ♪ 88 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,565 Oh, hi, Mrs. Van Houten. 89 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,459 Never mind. Glad you're not in a hole. 90 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,143 Is something the matter, Bart? 91 00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,962 There's a screaming woman buried in the woods, 92 00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:00,464 but everyone thinks I'm lying. 93 00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:03,650 A screaming woman? That does sound serious. 94 00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:04,801 You believe me? 95 00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:07,895 Of course. Why not come inside 96 00:04:07,973 --> 00:04:10,582 and tell me more over a nice glass of milk? 97 00:04:10,659 --> 00:04:11,975 Thanks, but we should hurry. 98 00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:13,418 I don't think she has much time left. 99 00:04:13,495 --> 00:04:15,161 [gulps] 100 00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:17,923 Time enough for one more glass of milk, I bet. 101 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,467 I shouldn't. Milk makes me sleepy. 102 00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:24,321 Milhouse should be home soon. 103 00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,598 Uh, he's with his hula hoop tutor. 104 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,009 I thought he was at his grandmother's? 105 00:04:29,085 --> 00:04:31,645 Oh. [laughs] Whatever gave you that idea? 106 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,358 Bottoms up. 107 00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:42,281 Now, you must be ready for a nap. 108 00:04:42,357 --> 00:04:46,343 No... I have to save... [yawns] 109 00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:48,245 [yawning] ...the lady. 110 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,773 Nighty-night. 111 00:04:51,850 --> 00:04:53,625 Must stay awake. 112 00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:00,632 [grunts, gasps] 113 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:06,863 Lady! Are you still alive down there? 114 00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,882 Give me a sign, please. 115 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:11,143 You can't be dead. You can't. 116 00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:13,553 [crying] I'm sorry, lady. I tried. 117 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:16,964 The one time I'm not lying to make other people look stupid 118 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,726 for believing me, and no one will believe me. 119 00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:21,636 [woman] ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef... ♪ 120 00:05:21,713 --> 00:05:24,806 Wait, are you... singing? 121 00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:27,701 ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef ♪ 122 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:30,403 ♪ Double Beef Burgers' beef-fed beef. ♪ 123 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,405 You just sang our old burger jingle. 124 00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:34,741 How could you possibly know it? 125 00:05:34,893 --> 00:05:37,060 Because the screaming woman just sang it to me. 126 00:05:37,062 --> 00:05:39,838 [gasps] That's no screaming woman... 127 00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,156 ..it's a screaming Kirk. 128 00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,417 I was wondering when you were gonna finish that thought. 129 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,586 [screams] 130 00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:48,162 [coughs, grunts] 131 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,715 Oh, thank you, Bart. Oh, you saved me. 132 00:05:50,792 --> 00:05:52,425 Is this the woman who buried you? 133 00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:55,336 He let Miss Hoover see him buying my hair dye. 134 00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:58,264 The shame. What choice did I have? 135 00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:01,008 Uh, she's got a point. Here in the 1950s, 136 00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,269 murder is much more socially acceptable 137 00:06:03,346 --> 00:06:05,438 -than, uh, you know, divorce. -[handcuffs unclick] 138 00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:08,091 -You're free to go. -A-Are you mad at me? 139 00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:10,443 Kind of seem like you're mad at me. 140 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,355 Oh, honey, we'll never doubt you again. 141 00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:15,782 Really? 142 00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:17,209 Lisa's a communist. 143 00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:19,360 Mm. Take her away, Chief. 144 00:06:19,438 --> 00:06:21,296 ♪ 145 00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:27,326 Wow, your tattoos really are magic. 146 00:06:27,404 --> 00:06:28,536 What's that one about? 147 00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:31,114 Uh, that one tells a story of a brief period 148 00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:33,040 where I was very into the band Sublime. 149 00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,310 This one does something. 150 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,124 Item 22 on the agenda, 151 00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:42,901 preparations for flag day. 152 00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,385 Yeah, it's seven months away. 153 00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,463 And we are woefully behind. 154 00:06:46,465 --> 00:06:49,482 I'd like to get your opinion on some bunting samples. 155 00:06:49,559 --> 00:06:51,134 Oh, kill me. 156 00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:54,228 Now, uh, the price per yard on this one is a bit high, 157 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:57,157 but the drape will make it the comeliest thing on a pole 158 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,992 you've ever seen. 159 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:01,161 You know you're a tragic figure? 160 00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:03,571 Like Hamlet if he was boring and a principal 161 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,665 and a-- and an idiot. 162 00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:07,717 ♪ 163 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:17,102 Another Gallo, barkeep. 164 00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:19,679 Uh-uh, leave the box. 165 00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,923 Hey, pal. You don't look like the kind of guy 166 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,349 who drinks alone just for the fun of it. 167 00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:24,684 What's eating at you? 168 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,762 Have you ever been forced to spend all of your time 169 00:07:27,839 --> 00:07:29,839 with someone whose very existence 170 00:07:29,841 --> 00:07:32,742 just sucks the will to live right out of you? 171 00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:37,122 What if I told you today's modern science 172 00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,683 has a solution to that very problem? 173 00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:40,959 Come with me. 174 00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:46,372 How is this possible? He-he looks just like you. 175 00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,874 Not he, it. 176 00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:50,193 It's an exact robot replica of me. 177 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,512 A very hush-hush new technology. 178 00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:55,456 How do they work? 179 00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:58,459 They're full of gears. Hundreds of 'em. 180 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,721 Gears, of course, but you made a mechanical doppelganger 181 00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,557 of yourself just to hang out with your best friend? 182 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,819 Uh, well, Lenny's really into jigsaw puzzles, 183 00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,804 and I am not. 184 00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,305 So, whenever he breaks one out, 185 00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,066 I send in Robot Carl. 186 00:08:13,218 --> 00:08:16,995 Call that number and start living your best life. 187 00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:24,060 My, my, you are quite the me. 188 00:08:24,062 --> 00:08:26,505 Now, h-how does one power you up? 189 00:08:26,581 --> 00:08:29,415 Well, I do enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning. 190 00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:32,493 Oh, as do I. Nature's pipe cleaner, I call it. 191 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:34,846 But you would know that, uh, being me, 192 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,740 only in robot form, of course. 193 00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:40,352 Yes, quite. A-And you the human me, as it were. 194 00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:42,595 -Indeed. Yes. -Very good. 195 00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,430 -Well, there you have it. -Have it, we do. 196 00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:45,598 So, how can I help? 197 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,360 I like a man who gets right to the point. 198 00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:49,677 I know you do. 199 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,754 Ah, yes, you would. 200 00:08:50,772 --> 00:08:52,088 Well, eh, shall we? 201 00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:54,199 Lead the way. 202 00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:58,853 Mm... 203 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,930 Hmm... 204 00:09:00,932 --> 00:09:02,874 Have a good day, Superintendent. 205 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,876 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 206 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,712 I don't think my programming would allow it. 207 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:17,639 What are you doing here? I... I just saw you at the school. 208 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:23,061 [both panting] 209 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,216 [panting] How... how are there two of you? 210 00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:32,237 [panting] I ordered a robot me 211 00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:34,239 so I wouldn't have to be around you anymore. 212 00:09:34,316 --> 00:09:36,816 What? You don't Robot-Skinner me, 213 00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:38,743 I Robot-Chalmers you. 214 00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:40,561 You're the annoying one. 215 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,988 And you're the mean one. 216 00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:43,898 Oh, you'd yell your name at you 217 00:09:43,975 --> 00:09:45,975 if you had to deal with you, too. 218 00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:49,236 I would find myself highly tolerable. 219 00:09:49,238 --> 00:09:51,572 Guy from the bar that night, thank God I found you. 220 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:54,667 You got to destroy that robot before it's too late. 221 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,002 What's wrong with the robots? 222 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,078 I don't know what happened. 223 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,671 Something with the gears, maybe. 224 00:09:58,824 --> 00:10:00,599 Good God. 225 00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:02,992 Robot Carl started thinking for himself, 226 00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,844 and it wasn't pretty. 227 00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:07,439 Last night, the robot tells me he planned a trip 228 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:09,349 to Niagara Falls for him and Lenny. 229 00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:10,775 Well, that sounds like fun, 230 00:10:10,852 --> 00:10:14,854 so I says, "I'm going because I'm the real Carl." 231 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,173 And then he starts crying, 232 00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,766 which they ain't supposed to do. 233 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,844 But when I tried to shove him in his crate, 234 00:10:20,846 --> 00:10:22,770 that wind-up dingus fought back 235 00:10:22,848 --> 00:10:24,122 with robot super strength. 236 00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,625 So I did the only thing I could. 237 00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:30,462 You got to act fast. 238 00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:32,856 Once the robots start feeling emotions, 239 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:35,091 there's no telling what could happen. 240 00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:40,530 Uh, children, we have recently become aware 241 00:10:40,532 --> 00:10:42,882 of an extraordinary human concept. 242 00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:44,792 It's called friendship. 243 00:10:44,794 --> 00:10:46,645 Dear God, emotions. 244 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,054 We're too late. 245 00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:50,373 In order to promote friend-making, 246 00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:52,633 students are encouraged to call their teachers 247 00:10:52,711 --> 00:10:54,711 by their first names. 248 00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:55,820 First-name-calling? 249 00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:57,155 No, that can only lead to 250 00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:58,973 the breakdown of the social order. 251 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,717 Wanton high-fiving. 252 00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:02,810 T-shirts worn as real shirts. 253 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,979 Well, let's give it a try, shall we? 254 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,223 Hello, Seymour. 255 00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:08,649 Howdy, Gary-- 256 00:11:08,727 --> 00:11:10,835 [grunting] 257 00:11:10,912 --> 00:11:13,088 [cheering] 258 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,489 [grunting] 259 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,343 You like feelings, huh? How does my fist feel? 260 00:11:18,420 --> 00:11:19,344 [grunts] 261 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,605 Go back to hell, you bionic bastard. 262 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,341 [cheering] 263 00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,028 This is the best assembly ever! 264 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,013 Don't shoot! 265 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:40,256 I'm the real Chalmers. 266 00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:41,941 He's lying. Shoot him. 267 00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,276 Shoot the one on the left. 268 00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:44,703 -Right. -Left. -Right. 269 00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:46,596 -Left. -Right. -Left. 270 00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:49,624 Shoot 'em both. It's the only way to be sure. 271 00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:54,120 Look, look, we were wrong to play God. 272 00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:57,048 But if there's anything I have learned from all of this, 273 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,551 other than don't make robots of yourself, 274 00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,202 it's that I could afford 275 00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:03,972 to be a little bit nicer to you, Seymour. 276 00:12:05,374 --> 00:12:07,041 Skinner! 277 00:12:07,118 --> 00:12:08,893 He's obviously the robot! 278 00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:11,730 Shoot him! God, you're an idiot! 279 00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:15,400 [sighs] I know the real Chalmers when I hear him. 280 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,464 No! 281 00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:23,575 [cheering] 282 00:12:24,486 --> 00:12:26,745 [weakly] I forgive you, Seymour. 283 00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,154 I know that you'll... 284 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:30,139 you'll plan a wonderful... 285 00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:33,168 flag day... 286 00:12:33,995 --> 00:12:35,420 [sobbing] 287 00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:36,980 [Nelson] Haw-haw! 288 00:12:36,982 --> 00:12:39,257 Um, I couldn't help but notice 289 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:42,652 some lovely bunting samples in your office. 290 00:12:42,654 --> 00:12:44,170 Perhaps you could, uh... 291 00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:46,097 walk me through them? 292 00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:49,476 I'd like that, Gary. 293 00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:59,002 -Well, it's 9:00, so... -Please don't go. 294 00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:00,761 Let me spin just one more tale 295 00:13:00,839 --> 00:13:03,339 of the strange and fantastical. 296 00:13:03,358 --> 00:13:06,433 Cast your gaze, just above my hernia scar, 297 00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:10,346 and travel to a chillingly plausible future. 298 00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:12,290 [fireman] Firemen. 299 00:13:12,441 --> 00:13:14,200 -[gasps] -We have a report 300 00:13:14,352 --> 00:13:16,377 of subversive content in this house. 301 00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:28,047 Step away from the lowbrow entertainment. 302 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,915 I'm sorry, I was just curious. 303 00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:31,458 It won't happen again. 304 00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:32,626 Yeah... [chuckles] 305 00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:35,355 Not after a little reeducation, it won't. 306 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,217 Homer, hurry, the new episode of Robber Barons 307 00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:49,643 is about to start. 308 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:53,647 The very idea, an elevated train under the ground? 309 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,909 I require no crystal ball to see that your invention 310 00:13:56,911 --> 00:14:00,821 will never work, Mr. Thaddeus Subway. 311 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,656 Who's that guy with the mustache? 312 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,843 Who's that other mustache? 313 00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:07,161 It's so dark. Can we brighten it? 314 00:14:07,238 --> 00:14:09,514 This is how the director meant for us to watch it. 315 00:14:09,591 --> 00:14:12,725 Our squinting reinforces the themes. 316 00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,860 It's got to be almost over, right? 317 00:14:21,936 --> 00:14:24,362 This is still the recap from last week. 318 00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:25,771 Oh... 319 00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:28,182 Homer, it's our civic duty 320 00:14:28,259 --> 00:14:32,036 to watch the most densely plotted television we can. 321 00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:35,689 That's why lowbrow entertainment was outlawed. 322 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,041 [groans] 323 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:40,578 Hey, guys, great job on that last raid. 324 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,290 We took out 32 seasons of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, 325 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,126 and the last known episode of Last Man Standing. 326 00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:49,112 Have you guys ever... 327 00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:51,723 watched any of that lowbrow stuff we burn? 328 00:14:51,799 --> 00:14:54,225 -Uh, illegal much? -[alarm ringing] 329 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,954 All right, let's go start fires instead of putting 'em out. 330 00:14:57,956 --> 00:14:59,063 Up we go! 331 00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:04,068 [Wolfcastle grunts] 332 00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:10,299 Fire Department! 333 00:15:10,301 --> 00:15:11,576 Hmm? 334 00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:13,803 [bleats] 335 00:15:13,805 --> 00:15:14,895 [screams] 336 00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:17,081 [laughing] 337 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,477 I thought goat was going to eat carrot, 338 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:24,313 but goat chomped farmer in the junk! 339 00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:26,299 [laughing] 340 00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:31,095 Don't burn it, lad. 341 00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:32,639 You like what you see? 342 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,352 Take it, watch it. Find us. 343 00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:46,069 [fire crackling] 344 00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:50,506 Did you all read Alan Sepinwall III's recap 345 00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,508 of the season finale of The Hapsburgs? 346 00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:55,269 -Uh-huh. -Oh, yes, absolutely. -Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 347 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:59,749 Do you guys ever wish TV could be dumb and fun? 348 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:06,464 So when you watch it, you just laugh? 349 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,594 Thank you for a lovely evening, Marge. 350 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,478 ♪ 351 00:16:20,555 --> 00:16:22,647 [laughing] 352 00:16:27,895 --> 00:16:30,697 Dad? What were you watching? 353 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,807 Son, you're the one person in this family 354 00:16:33,885 --> 00:16:35,309 that might understand this. 355 00:16:35,386 --> 00:16:39,813 It's possible we've been wrong about everything. 356 00:16:39,815 --> 00:16:41,057 [VCR clicks] 357 00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:43,059 -[sneeze] -[baby crying] 358 00:16:43,061 --> 00:16:45,152 The dog that sneezed in the baby's face, 359 00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:46,820 what's his backstory? 360 00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:49,398 There's no backstory. It just is. 361 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,826 Which is its own kind of innovative narrative? 362 00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:54,587 No, no narrative! 363 00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:57,164 [moans] Forget it. 364 00:16:57,242 --> 00:17:01,835 Please, son, just don't tell anyone about this. 365 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,604 I trust you. 366 00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,192 Reports of lowbrow contraband! 367 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,770 Why, son? Why did you betray me? 368 00:17:10,772 --> 00:17:12,697 I trusted you! 369 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,700 Merch. 370 00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:20,930 [screams] Burn-master General Siegfried Blaze! 371 00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:22,856 Homer, you disappoint me. 372 00:17:22,934 --> 00:17:26,377 Don't you see that we set fires for the good of humanity? 373 00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:28,437 We learned long ago that entertainment 374 00:17:28,439 --> 00:17:32,199 must fully occupy the consciousness of the population. 375 00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:35,702 You're using quality TV to control us. 376 00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:39,724 Yes, these challenging shows are the perfect distraction 377 00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:43,452 from how dystopian our dystopia is. 378 00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:44,896 You monster! 379 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,213 Am I? 380 00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:48,474 Do you know what entertainment was like 381 00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,142 in the before-times? 382 00:17:50,219 --> 00:17:53,145 Comfort shows you could just put on in any order 383 00:17:53,222 --> 00:17:55,798 while you looked at your phone. 384 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,483 Oh, that sounds like heaven. 385 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,226 Don't worry, a little reeducation 386 00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:00,803 and you'll be as good as new. 387 00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,988 Strap him to the viewing chamber 388 00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:05,566 for four seasons of... 389 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,585 Mozart in the Jungle. 390 00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:09,312 [yelping] 391 00:18:09,314 --> 00:18:10,421 I... 392 00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:11,422 choose... 393 00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:13,424 crap! 394 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,177 [low growl] 395 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,580 Barney, I can't explain, 396 00:18:19,657 --> 00:18:21,991 but I need to switch clothes with you. 397 00:18:21,993 --> 00:18:23,476 What fun! 398 00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:29,482 Huh? 399 00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:32,335 [fireman over loudspeaker] Threat neutralized. 400 00:18:32,337 --> 00:18:33,486 [Homer whimpers quietly] 401 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,616 [Homer gasps] The symbol from the tape. 402 00:18:42,238 --> 00:18:44,513 Please, let me in. 403 00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:47,867 I just want to watch something that isn't very good. 404 00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:49,201 [hinge squeaks] 405 00:18:49,354 --> 00:18:50,294 [Homer] Yoink! 406 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:53,464 They said there were others like me. 407 00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:07,353 [gasps] Lowbrow... 408 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:11,465 [flatly] Hey, hey. 409 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,486 This is all that remains of the old civilization. 410 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,639 Singing contests. Real Housewives. 411 00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:20,216 The Golden Bachelor. 412 00:19:20,218 --> 00:19:22,401 All yours to enjoy. 413 00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:26,222 I never dreamed there was this much nothing. 414 00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:27,456 -[yelps] -[crashing] 415 00:19:29,577 --> 00:19:33,087 Thank you, Homer, for leading us here. 416 00:19:39,754 --> 00:19:43,163 Hey, isn't that the guy who created Breaking Bad? 417 00:19:43,241 --> 00:19:46,058 Vince Gilligan? Where? 418 00:19:46,928 --> 00:19:48,093 Let them go. 419 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,354 They have no garbage left to watch. 420 00:19:50,431 --> 00:19:53,249 [Homer] Some say the world is destined to drown 421 00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,434 in an ocean of prestige television. 422 00:19:55,436 --> 00:19:57,195 But so long as we tell the tales 423 00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,031 of singers masked and Kardashians kept up with, 424 00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,775 garbage will live forever. 425 00:20:02,777 --> 00:20:05,519 And then Sheldon said, 426 00:20:05,596 --> 00:20:07,038 "Bazinga." 427 00:20:07,189 --> 00:20:09,690 So in the end, the only rules that mattered 428 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,934 were the Vanderpump rules. 429 00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:13,436 That night, my friends, 430 00:20:13,438 --> 00:20:16,939 the funniest home video in all of America 431 00:20:16,941 --> 00:20:18,607 was deemed to be 432 00:20:18,609 --> 00:20:22,035 "Squirrel Falls in Grandma's Soup." 433 00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:23,462 -[gasps] -[applause] 434 00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,389 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 435 00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:27,299 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 436 00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:28,801 and TOYOTA. 437 00:20:28,877 --> 00:20:30,603 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 438 00:20:35,217 --> 00:20:37,126 Wow, those stories are amazing. 439 00:20:37,128 --> 00:20:38,310 But I guess I should be leaving this... 440 00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:41,054 strange, featureless void? 441 00:20:41,132 --> 00:20:43,407 What happened? Where am I? 442 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:48,246 You were kind enough to listen to the required stories three. 443 00:20:48,322 --> 00:20:52,583 And this is your eternal reward. 444 00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:54,085 No! Get me out of here! 445 00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,087 I don't want to be a living tattoo! 446 00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,330 Eh, don't worry, you'll make friends in no time. 447 00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,073 Hi. 448 00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:03,002 ♪ I don't practice Santeria ♪ 449 00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:05,504 ♪ I ain't got no crystal ball... ♪ 450 00:21:05,506 --> 00:21:08,599 Ugh. No! 451 00:21:08,676 --> 00:21:09,750 ♪ But I ♪ 452 00:21:09,827 --> 00:21:11,752 ♪ I'd spend it all ♪ 453 00:21:11,829 --> 00:21:13,662 ♪ If I could find that jaina ♪ 454 00:21:13,664 --> 00:21:16,665 ♪ And that Sancho that she found ♪ 455 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:19,277 ♪ Well, I'd pop a cap in Sancho ♪ 456 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:23,430 ♪ And I'd slap her down ♪ 457 00:21:23,508 --> 00:21:25,616 ♪ What I really want to know ♪ 458 00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:27,676 ♪ Ah, baby. ♪ 459 00:21:27,678 --> 00:21:29,662 Shh!