1 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,094 {\an8}Am I the only one who thinks it's weird 2 00:00:13,095 --> 00:00:16,180 {\an8}that a strange circus just appeared out of nowhere? 3 00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:19,183 {\an8}Oh, come on, Lisa. You love "circuseses." 4 00:00:19,184 --> 00:00:20,476 {\an8}I hate them. 5 00:00:20,477 --> 00:00:24,022 {\an8}I've literally gotten three shut down just in the past year. 6 00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:27,191 {\an8}Yes, but this one's only exploiting people. 7 00:00:27,192 --> 00:00:29,110 {\an8}I wanna see the dog-faced man. 8 00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:31,029 {\an8}And the man-faced dog. 9 00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,197 {\an8}Who walks who? 10 00:00:33,198 --> 00:00:35,283 {\an8}Mom, surely you're not-- 11 00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:40,206 {\an8}Step right up and see pint-sized Hercules, the world's strongest boy. 12 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,711 {\an8}He's got tiny little abs. 13 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:49,172 {\an8}I'm sorry, but you're fired. 14 00:00:49,173 --> 00:00:50,256 {\an8}Times have changed. 15 00:00:50,257 --> 00:00:52,050 {\an8}You're just not the draw you used to be. 16 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:54,635 {\an8}You've got fewer tattoos than the average chef. 17 00:00:54,636 --> 00:00:56,512 {\an8}Yes, but mine are-- 18 00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:58,931 {\an8}Mystical portals to an alternate reality. 19 00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:02,185 {\an8}Look, if kids want mystical portals, they'll look at their phones. 20 00:01:02,186 --> 00:01:04,522 {\an8}Hand over your freak badge and your tattoo gun. 21 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:14,655 {\an8}Excuse me, how much to see the Illustrated Man? 22 00:01:14,656 --> 00:01:17,116 {\an8}Forget it, kid. I'm retired. 23 00:01:17,117 --> 00:01:20,161 {\an8}- Okay. Best of luck to you. - You don't give up, do you? 24 00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:21,581 {\an8}All right. Have a seat. 25 00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:26,167 If you stare at one of my tattoos long enough, 26 00:01:26,168 --> 00:01:28,294 it tells a story. 27 00:01:28,295 --> 00:01:31,633 Strange and unusual. 28 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,509 How long does it take? 29 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:37,011 It's a miracle! Give it two seconds. 30 00:01:37,012 --> 00:01:39,848 Strange and unusual. 31 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:53,029 What the... 32 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:55,446 Hello? 33 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:56,572 Lady? 34 00:01:56,573 --> 00:01:58,325 Is someone down there? 35 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,622 Ah, gee whiz! She's buried alive. 36 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:07,127 Hang in there, lady. I'll get help. 37 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:12,964 Mom. Dad. There's a screaming woman in the woods, and she's buried alive. 38 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,382 We gotta dig her out! 39 00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:16,425 Calm down, noisy pants. 40 00:02:16,426 --> 00:02:19,887 You know your father only has a two-hour lunch break. 41 00:02:19,888 --> 00:02:22,098 But she's screaming for help! 42 00:02:22,099 --> 00:02:23,558 Speaking of screaming women, 43 00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:28,062 I heard that Luann Van Houten got into a row with Miss Hoover 44 00:02:28,063 --> 00:02:31,399 for telling everyone that Luann dyes her hair. 45 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,069 She's got enough trouble married to a dead-end dipstick like Kirk. 46 00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:37,905 Stop gossiping, sir and ma'am. The lady's gonna run out of air. 47 00:02:37,906 --> 00:02:40,741 I used to work with that loser at Double Beef Burger. 48 00:02:40,742 --> 00:02:43,452 They'd play their jingle all day long. 49 00:02:43,453 --> 00:02:47,290 - Now, how did that go? - Who cares about burger jingles? 50 00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,083 She's gonna die! 51 00:02:49,084 --> 00:02:53,337 I think we all know this is another one of your famous fibs. 52 00:02:53,338 --> 00:02:56,632 Yeah. Like that time you said there was a boy in the woods crying wolf, 53 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,010 and when we got there, there was no boy at all. 54 00:02:59,011 --> 00:03:00,512 Just a fat wolf. 55 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,019 Oh, come on. Pick up, pick up. 56 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:13,900 Milhouse, what are you doing? 57 00:03:13,901 --> 00:03:16,444 Just playing a game on my phone. 58 00:03:16,445 --> 00:03:18,696 Listen to me. There's a screaming woman buried in the woods, 59 00:03:18,697 --> 00:03:21,616 - and I need your help digging her up. - No can do, Bart. 60 00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:22,992 I'm at my grandma's. 61 00:03:22,993 --> 00:03:24,619 Had my calls forwarded. 62 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,996 I won't be back for another three days. 63 00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:29,624 We can play the screaming woman game then. 64 00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:31,044 It's not a game! 65 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,131 Oh! I lost all my high scores. 66 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,635 All right. I'll just check every house in the neighborhood 67 00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:43,640 until I find the one that's missing a lady. 68 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,983 Oh. Hi, Mrs. Van Houten. Never mind. Glad you're not in a hole. 69 00:03:55,984 --> 00:03:57,652 Is something the matter, Bart? 70 00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:59,487 There's a screaming woman buried in the woods, 71 00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:01,030 but everyone thinks I'm lying. 72 00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:02,406 A screaming woman? 73 00:04:02,407 --> 00:04:04,116 That does sound serious. 74 00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:05,201 You believe me? 75 00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:06,452 Of course. 76 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:10,333 Why not come inside and tell me more over a nice glass of milk? 77 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,170 Thanks, but we should hurry. I don't think she has much time left. 78 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,631 Time enough for one more glass of milk, I bet. 79 00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:20,927 I shouldn't. Milk makes me sleepy. 80 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,887 Milhouse should be home soon. 81 00:04:24,888 --> 00:04:27,265 He's with his Hula-Hoop tutor. 82 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,517 I thought he was at his grandmother's. 83 00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:32,146 Oh... ...whatever gave you that idea? 84 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,484 Bottoms up. 85 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,072 Now, you must be ready for a nap. 86 00:04:43,073 --> 00:04:48,663 No, I have to save... [yawns] ...the lad... 87 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,415 Nighty night. 88 00:04:52,416 --> 00:04:53,918 Must stay awake. 89 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,388 Lady! Are you still alive down there? 90 00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:09,473 Give me a sign! Please! 91 00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,976 You can't be dead. You can't. 92 00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,353 I'm sorry, lady. I tried. 93 00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:18,399 The one time I'm not lying to make other people look stupid for believing me, 94 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,484 and no one will believe me. 95 00:05:20,485 --> 00:05:24,615 - ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef ♪ - Wait. Are you singing? 96 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,534 ♪ The beefiest beef eats other beef ♪ 97 00:05:28,535 --> 00:05:31,120 ♪ Double Beef Burger's beef-fed beef ♪ 98 00:05:31,121 --> 00:05:33,080 You just sang our old burger jingle. 99 00:05:33,081 --> 00:05:35,541 How could you possibly know it? 100 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,626 Because the screaming woman just sang it to me. 101 00:05:37,627 --> 00:05:40,463 That's no screaming woman. 102 00:05:40,464 --> 00:05:42,798 It's a screaming Kirk! 103 00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:45,469 I was wondering when you were gonna finish that thought. 104 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,265 Oh, thank you, Bart. Oh, you saved me. 105 00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:53,100 Is this the woman who buried you? 106 00:05:53,101 --> 00:05:56,062 He let Miss Hoover see him buying my hair dye. 107 00:05:56,063 --> 00:05:57,229 The shame. 108 00:05:57,230 --> 00:05:58,939 What choice did I have? 109 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,232 Uh, she's got a point. 110 00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:04,070 Here in the 1950s, murder is much more socially acceptable 111 00:06:04,071 --> 00:06:05,988 than, uh, you know, divorce. 112 00:06:05,989 --> 00:06:07,198 You're free to go. 113 00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,075 So, a-are you mad at me? 114 00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:11,202 You kinda seem like you're mad at me. 115 00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:14,789 Oh, honey, we'll never doubt you again. 116 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:15,875 Really? 117 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,917 Lisa's a communist. 118 00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:19,837 Mmm? Take her away, Chief. 119 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:27,885 Wow. Your tattoos really are magic. 120 00:06:27,886 --> 00:06:29,220 What's that one about? 121 00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,680 Eh, that one tells the story of a brief period 122 00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:33,724 when I was very into the band Sublime. 123 00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:35,228 This one does something. 124 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:43,609 Item 22 on the agenda: preparations for Flag Day. 125 00:06:43,610 --> 00:06:45,027 Yeah, it's seven months away. 126 00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:47,113 And we are woefully behind. 127 00:06:47,114 --> 00:06:50,032 I'd like to get your opinion on some bunting samples. 128 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:51,784 Oh, kill me. 129 00:06:51,785 --> 00:06:54,954 Now, uh, the price per yard on this one is a bit high, 130 00:06:54,955 --> 00:06:59,127 but the drape will make it the comeliest thing on a pole you've ever seen. 131 00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,752 You know, you're a tragic figure. 132 00:07:01,753 --> 00:07:04,255 Like Hamlet if he was boring and a principal 133 00:07:04,256 --> 00:07:05,466 and-and an idiot. 134 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,061 Another Gallo, barkeep. 135 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,480 Leave the box. 136 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,564 Hey, pal. 137 00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:24,400 You don't look like the kind of guy who drinks alone just for the fun of it. 138 00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:25,484 What's eating at you? 139 00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:28,904 Have you ever been forced to spend all of your time with someone 140 00:07:28,905 --> 00:07:33,411 whose very existence just sucks the will to live right out of you? 141 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:40,249 What if I told you today's modern science has a solution to that very problem? 142 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:41,502 Come with me. 143 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,131 How is this possible? He-He looks just like you. 144 00:07:47,132 --> 00:07:48,632 Not he. It. 145 00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,926 It's an exact robot replica of me. 146 00:07:50,927 --> 00:07:53,181 A very hush-hush new technology. 147 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,223 How do they work? 148 00:07:56,224 --> 00:07:59,018 They're full of gears. Hundreds of 'em. 149 00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,394 Gears, of course. 150 00:08:00,395 --> 00:08:03,022 But you made a mechanical doppelgänger of yourself 151 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,441 just to hang out with your best friend? 152 00:08:05,442 --> 00:08:10,404 Uh, well, Lenny's really into jigsaw puzzles, and I am not. 153 00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:13,866 So whenever he breaks one out, I send in Robot Carl. 154 00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:17,538 Call that number, and start living your best life. 155 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:24,835 My, my. You are quite the me. 156 00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:27,379 Now, h-how does one power you up? 157 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:30,299 Well, I do enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning. 158 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,383 Oh, as do I, yes. 159 00:08:31,384 --> 00:08:33,511 Nature's pipe cleaner, I call it. 160 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:37,640 But you would know that, uh, being me. Only in robot form, of course. 161 00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:41,185 Yes, quite. A-And you the human me, a-as it were. 162 00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:43,479 - Indeed. Yes. - Very good. 163 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,314 - Well, there you have it. - Have it, we do. 164 00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:46,565 So how can I help? 165 00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:49,068 I like a man who gets right to the point. 166 00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,402 I know you do. 167 00:08:50,403 --> 00:08:52,780 Uh, yes, you would. Well, uh, shall we? 168 00:08:52,781 --> 00:08:53,866 Lead the way. 169 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,957 Hmm. Hmm. 170 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,832 Have a good day, Superintendent. 171 00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:05,751 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 172 00:09:05,752 --> 00:09:08,381 I don't think my programming would allow it. 173 00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:18,432 What are you doing here? I-I just saw you at the school. 174 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,902 How... How are there two of you? 175 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,197 I ordered a robot me so I wouldn't have to be around you anymore. 176 00:09:35,198 --> 00:09:39,660 What? You don't Robot Skinner me, I Robot Chalmers you. 177 00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,287 You're the annoying one. 178 00:09:41,288 --> 00:09:42,871 And you're the mean one. 179 00:09:42,872 --> 00:09:46,792 Oh, you'd yell your name at you if you had to deal with you too. 180 00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:49,461 I would find myself highly tolerable. 181 00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:52,590 Guy from the bar that night. Thank God I found you. 182 00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:55,467 You gotta destroy that robot before it's too late. 183 00:09:55,468 --> 00:09:56,885 What's wrong with the robots? 184 00:09:56,886 --> 00:09:59,430 I don't know what happened. Something with the gears, maybe. 185 00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:01,142 Good God. 186 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:05,811 Robot Carl started thinking for himself, and it wasn't pretty. 187 00:10:05,812 --> 00:10:09,523 Last night, the robot tells me he planned a trip to Niagara Falls 188 00:10:09,524 --> 00:10:11,692 for him and Lenny. Well, that sounds like fun. 189 00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:15,738 So I says, "I'm going because I'm the real Carl." 190 00:10:15,739 --> 00:10:19,825 And then he starts crying, which they ain't supposed to do. 191 00:10:19,826 --> 00:10:21,660 But when I tried to shove him in his crate, 192 00:10:21,661 --> 00:10:25,080 that windup dingus fought back with robot super strength. 193 00:10:25,081 --> 00:10:27,418 So I did the only thing I could. 194 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,337 You gotta act fast. 195 00:10:31,338 --> 00:10:35,843 Once the robots start feeling emotions, there's no telling what could happen. 196 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,555 Uh, children, we have recently become aware 197 00:10:41,556 --> 00:10:43,932 of an extraordinary human concept. 198 00:10:43,933 --> 00:10:45,643 It's called friendship. 199 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,770 Dear God. Emotions. 200 00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:48,979 We're too late. 201 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,065 In order to promote friend-making, 202 00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:55,486 students are encouraged to call their teachers by their first names. 203 00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:56,779 First-name-calling? 204 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:59,865 No, that can only lead to the breakdown of the social order. 205 00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:03,702 Wanton high-fiving, T-shirts worn as real shirts. 206 00:11:03,703 --> 00:11:05,954 Well, let's give it a try, shall we? 207 00:11:05,955 --> 00:11:08,207 Hello, Seymour. 208 00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,876 Howdy, Gary. 209 00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:17,883 You like feelings, huh? 210 00:11:17,884 --> 00:11:19,887 How does my fist feel? Huh? 211 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,649 Go back to hell, you bionic bastard. 212 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,072 This is the best assembly ever. 213 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,240 Don't shoot. I'm the real Chalmers. 214 00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:42,908 He's lying. Shoot him. 215 00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:44,159 Shoot the one on the left. 216 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,244 - Right! - Left! 217 00:11:45,245 --> 00:11:47,705 Right! Left! 218 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,584 Shoot 'em both! It's the only way to be sure! 219 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,295 Look... Look, we were wrong to play God. 220 00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:58,132 But if there's anything I have learned from all of this, 221 00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,467 other than don't make robots of yourself, 222 00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:04,765 it's that I could afford to be a little bit nicer to you, Seymour. 223 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:09,852 Skinner! He's obviously the robot. 224 00:12:09,853 --> 00:12:10,936 Shoot him! 225 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,855 God, you're an idiot! 226 00:12:12,856 --> 00:12:16,068 I know the real Chalmers when I hear him. 227 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,282 No! 228 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,870 I forgive you, Seymour. 229 00:12:27,871 --> 00:12:29,204 I know that you'll... 230 00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:34,878 you'll plan a wonderful Flag Day. 231 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,880 Ha-ha! 232 00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:40,090 Um, I couldn't help but notice 233 00:12:40,091 --> 00:12:43,677 some lovely bunting samples in your office. 234 00:12:43,678 --> 00:12:46,766 Perhaps you could, uh, walk me through them? 235 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,394 I'd like that, Gary. 236 00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,900 Well, it's nine o'clock, so-- 237 00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,109 Please don't go. 238 00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:04,323 Let me spin just one more tale of the strange and fantastical. 239 00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:07,659 Cast your gaze just above my hernia scar, 240 00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:11,582 and travel to a chillingly plausible future. 241 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,333 Firemen! 242 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:17,338 We have a report of subversive content in this house. 243 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:29,097 {\an8}Step away from the lowbrow entertainment. 244 00:13:29,098 --> 00:13:31,266 Uh, I'm sorry. I was just curious. 245 00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:32,434 It won't happen again. 246 00:13:32,435 --> 00:13:33,644 {\an8}Yeah. 247 00:13:33,645 --> 00:13:36,440 {\an8}Not after a little reeducation, it won't. 248 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,533 Homer, hurry. 249 00:13:47,534 --> 00:13:50,869 The new episode of Robber Barons is about to start. 250 00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:54,873 The very idea. An elevated train under the ground? 251 00:13:54,874 --> 00:13:59,002 I require no crystal ball to see that your invention will never work, 252 00:13:59,003 --> 00:14:01,006 Mr. Thaddeus Subway. 253 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,757 Who's that guy with the mustache? 254 00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:06,009 Who's that other mustache? 255 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,303 It's so dark. Can we brighten it? 256 00:14:08,304 --> 00:14:10,806 This is how the director meant for us to watch it. 257 00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:13,936 Our squinting reinforces the themes. 258 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,985 It's gotta be almost over, right? 259 00:14:22,986 --> 00:14:25,445 This is still the recap from last week. 260 00:14:25,446 --> 00:14:26,905 Aw. 261 00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:29,950 Homer, it's our civic duty to watch 262 00:14:29,951 --> 00:14:33,287 the most densely-plotted television we can. 263 00:14:33,288 --> 00:14:36,875 That's why lowbrow entertainment was outlawed. 264 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,879 Hey, guys. Great job on that last raid. 265 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,507 We took out 32 seasons of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives 266 00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:48,302 and the last known episode of Last Man Standing. 267 00:14:48,303 --> 00:14:52,931 Have you guys ever watched any of that lowbrow stuff we burn? 268 00:14:52,932 --> 00:14:56,101 Uh, illegal much? 269 00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:58,937 All right. Let's go start fires instead of putting 'em out. 270 00:14:58,938 --> 00:15:00,024 Up we go. 271 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,658 Fire department! 272 00:15:11,659 --> 00:15:12,660 Hmm? 273 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,753 I thought goat was going to eat carrot, 274 00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:25,506 but goat chomped farmer in the junk! 275 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,554 Don't burn it, lad. 276 00:15:32,555 --> 00:15:33,807 You like what you see? 277 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,395 Take it, watch it, find us. 278 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:51,740 Did you all read Alan Sepinwall III's recap 279 00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:54,117 of the season finale of The Habsburgs? 280 00:15:54,118 --> 00:15:56,370 Yeah, absolutely. 281 00:15:56,371 --> 00:16:00,834 Do you guys ever wish TV could be dumb and fun? 282 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,383 So when you watch it, you just laugh? 283 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,805 Thank you for a lovely evening, Marge. 284 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,907 Dad? What were you watching? 285 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:36,702 Son, you're the one person in this family that might understand this. 286 00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:41,000 It's possible we've been wrong about everything. 287 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,005 The dog that sneezed in the baby's face, what's his backstory? 288 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,674 There's no backstory. It just is. 289 00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:54,011 Which is its own kind of innovative narrative? 290 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,971 No, no narrative. 291 00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:58,557 Oh, forget it. 292 00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:03,103 Please, Son, just don't tell anyone about this. 293 00:17:03,104 --> 00:17:04,940 I trust you. 294 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,526 Reports of lowbrow contraband. 295 00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:10,736 Why, Son? 296 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:12,154 Why did you betray me? 297 00:17:12,155 --> 00:17:13,699 I trusted you! 298 00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,493 {\an8}Merch. 299 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,039 Burn-master General, Siegfried Blaze. 300 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,374 Homer, you disappoint me. 301 00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:27,836 Don't you see that we set fires for the good of humanity? 302 00:17:27,837 --> 00:17:29,087 We learned long ago 303 00:17:29,088 --> 00:17:33,550 that entertainment must fully occupy the consciousness of the population. 304 00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:37,014 You're using quality TV to control us. 305 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:41,224 Yes. These challenging shows are the perfect distraction 306 00:17:41,225 --> 00:17:44,561 from how dystopian our dystopia is. 307 00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:46,229 You monster! 308 00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:47,606 Am I? 309 00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:51,318 Do you know what entertainment was like in the before times? 310 00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:54,821 Comfort shows you could just put on in any order 311 00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:56,990 while you looked at your phone. 312 00:17:56,991 --> 00:17:58,825 Oh, that sounds like heaven. 313 00:17:58,826 --> 00:18:01,995 Don't worry. A little reeducation, and you'll be as good as new. 314 00:18:01,996 --> 00:18:06,792 Strap him to the viewing chamber for four seasons of... 315 00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:08,837 Mozart in the Jungle. 316 00:18:09,713 --> 00:18:14,760 I choose crap! 317 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:23,308 Barney. I can't explain, but I need to switch clothes with you. 318 00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:24,770 What fun! 319 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:30,776 Huh? 320 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,611 Threat neutralized. 321 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,160 The symbol from the tape. 322 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,039 Please let me in! 323 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,503 I just wanna watch something that isn't very good. 324 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,716 They said there were others like me. 325 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,522 Lowbrow. 326 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,943 Hey-hey. 327 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,987 This is all that remains of the old civilization. 328 00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:21,575 Singing contests, real housewives, The Golden Bachelor, 329 00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:23,910 all yours to enjoy. 330 00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:27,957 I never dreamed there was this much nothing. 331 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:34,339 Thank you, Homer, for leading us here. 332 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,764 Hey, isn't that the guy who created Breaking Bad? 333 00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:46,977 Vince Gilligan? Where? 334 00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,561 Let them go. 335 00:19:49,562 --> 00:19:51,481 They have no garbage left to watch. 336 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,733 Some say the world is destined to drown 337 00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:56,860 in an ocean of prestige television, 338 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:59,529 but so long as we tell the tales of singers masked 339 00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:01,740 and Kardashians kept up with, 340 00:20:01,741 --> 00:20:03,827 garbage will live forever. 341 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,663 And then Sheldon said, "Bazinga." 342 00:20:08,664 --> 00:20:13,335 So, in the end, the only rules that mattered were the Vanderpump rules. 343 00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:18,256 And that night, my friends, the funniest home video in all of America 344 00:20:18,257 --> 00:20:23,888 was deemed to be: "Squirrel Falls in Grandma's Soup." 345 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,525 Wow. Those stories were amazing, 346 00:20:37,526 --> 00:20:42,282 but I guess I should be leaving this strange featureless void? 347 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,158 What happened? Where am I? 348 00:20:45,159 --> 00:20:49,871 {\an8}You were kind enough to listen to the required stories three, 349 00:20:49,872 --> 00:20:54,084 {\an8}and this is your eternal reward. 350 00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:55,502 {\an8}No! Get me outta here! 351 00:20:55,503 --> 00:20:57,671 {\an8}I don't want to be a living tattoo! 352 00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,675 {\an8}Eh, don't worry. You'll make friends in no time. 353 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:01,800 {\an8}Hi. 354 00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:04,761 {\an8}♪ I don't practice Santeria ♪ 355 00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:07,138 {\an8}♪ I ain't got no crystal ball ♪ 356 00:21:07,139 --> 00:21:10,644 {\an8}- No! - ♪Well, I had a million dollars, but I... ♪ 357 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,081 Shh!