1
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♪ The Simpsons ♪

2
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Children, you've been extra good,

3
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so you've earned
a very special field trip.

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Get ready for the best day
of your lives at the Waterpark…

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[students cheering]

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-…Museum of Late Victorian Textiles.
-[students groaning]

7
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[groans]

8
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I saw the word "waterpark"
and got too excited to read the rest.

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[grunts]

10
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The entrance hall carpet
is a reproduction of an original

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that Mr. Waterpark saw
on a trip to Utrecht.

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Any guesses as to its ornamentation?

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[grunts]

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Anyone?

15
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Wilton. It's a Wilton pattern.

16
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You're the first person
that's ever gotten that.

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And a docent never forgets her first.

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[chuckles]

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[students] Ew.

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Kids, you've seen the foyer.

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Now let's visit the demi-foyer.

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[students groan]

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Well, there's only one cure
for this type of boredom.

24
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A Gilded Age home invasion.

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[laughs]

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Nope. Nope.

27
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Nope.

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Ugh. There's gotta be something fun
in this dust dungeon.

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Hmm?

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-Whoa.
-[♪ dramatic music plays]

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Something.

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Don't be afraid to feel the perforations
on this Edwardian sable felt.

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I'm not afraid.

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Psst.

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[♪ dramatic music plays]

36
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[all] Something.

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[students giggling, cheering]

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I'm making it snow
over the lighthouse in St. Augustine.

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Snow globe fight!

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[students laughing, screaming]

41
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Hmm, this brocade.

42
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I've never felt such a luxurious warp.

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Twiddle the weft.

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-[glass shattering]
-[Bart] Eat globe!

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[gasps] My charges.

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[students clamoring]

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[yelps]

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[groaning]

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This horseplay stops now.

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Globes down.

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-Heads-up.
-Raise my head?

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Heard and understood.

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[glass shatters]

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[Skinner]
Oh, these past weeks have been difficult.

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Five eyeball surgeries. Two lid grafts.

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Now I have rods, but no cones.

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But I have a purpose.

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Even though it's the last day
before spring break, I had to come back

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so I could say the words
every principal dreams of saying.

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You are garbage parents.

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Garbage parents?

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Even me?

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Yes, both of you spawned
that snow-globe-hurling monster.

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[both groan]

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He said, "Heads-up."

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And I raised my head accordingly.

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[both gasp]

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Please, Principal Skinner.

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Bart's not a bad kid.

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If only you could see
my special little guy the way I do.

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Come on, Marge.
Bart's the devil, and you know it.

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Anyway, it's your fault for taking
an amped-up psycho like that

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to a water park.

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It wasn't a water park.

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Oh, I didn't read past the first word
on the permission slip.

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All you parents are the same.

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Take credit when your kids succeed
and make excuses when they fail.

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It's disgusting.

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It's because of parents like you that…

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[over PA] …I hate children!

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[sobs]

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[clears throat]
Disregard. Have a nice spring break.

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Mother, I'm home.

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[Agnes] Dear Seymour,

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I'm sorry I didn't visit you
in the hospital.

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Oh. No mother wants to see her son…

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period.

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I'm going to Atlantic City with Jasper.

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It'll be a month of nonstop poker,
and we might get some card playing in too.

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[chuckles] Wink, wink.

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Ha!

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Must be nice to be able to wink. [sighs]

93
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Just as well.

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I have a whole spring break
to do what I wanna do.

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[crickets chirping]

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Ah. Textbook requisition forms
and room temperature Mr. Pibb.

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This is the high life.

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-[loud clattering]
-[stammers]

99
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Who goes there?

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[clattering continues]

101
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[skittering]

102
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That's no who.

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It's a what.

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[Willie]
Go away. I'm about to score with my wife.

105
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But there's a creature loose
in the school.

106
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Why didn't you say so, man?

107
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Our Scottish Scrabble game can wait.

108
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[♪ bagpipe music plays]

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Now go kill a frightened,
defenseless animal

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that stumbled into the world of man.

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[♪ dramatic music plays]

112
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[thudding]

113
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The creature.

114
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[♪ dramatic music continues]

115
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I'm a ghost of a kid who died long ago

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when kids used to die all the time.

117
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A specter!

118
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Those weren't dog bones
I found in the sandbox!

119
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You're no apparition.
You've been living in my library.

120
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Living in a library?

121
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[scoffs] That's sick, man.
How can you say that to a little kid?

122
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Now get off my lawn.

123
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A student holing up in the school.

124
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How can I live this down?

125
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A blemish like this
on my permanent record.

126
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[laughing] What the hell is coming out
of your eyes, you freak?

127
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It's whimsical snow.

128
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I recognize you. Your name is Hub.

129
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You're a student here.

130
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This blatant infraction
is going directly into your file.

131
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Well, good luck with that,
sparkle tears. I'm not in there.

132
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You're not enrolled? But I've seen you.

133
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You're in Ms. Peyton's class.

134
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One of those kids that sits in the back

135
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between Eyeglasses Girl
and Bucktooth Boy and never speaks.

136
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Good Lord. You've been pretending
to be a student

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so you could live at the school.

138
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[mocking] So you could live at the school.

139
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Live at the school.

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[garbled mocking] …school.

141
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Where are your parents?

142
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Where are your parents?

143
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My mother's with Jasper,

144
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and my father's ashes are in a bag
in the upstairs sewing room.

145
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Now come clean.

146
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Seymour, what the devil is going on?

147
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Look out! It's your pimp.

148
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He's not my pimp.

149
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I've got this, sir.
I'm calling Child Services.

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You do, and I will cut you like a bitch.

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[gasps]

152
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If the state learns a runaway child
has been squatting here,

153
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they'll turn this school
into a Spirit Halloween store, okay?

154
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You keep this child under your supervision

155
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until you locate his family
and return him to them.

156
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,183
I'm going back to bed.

157
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,978
The next time I see you,
you better have my money…

158
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,690
requisition forms
for next year's textbooks.

159
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You can tell he really values you.

160
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Don't get comfortable.
You're only here till I find your parents.

161
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Look, Principal Skinner, you're not going
to find them. They're dead.

162
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Oh, my Lord. I'm so sorry.

163
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It was horrible.

164
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Their hot-air balloon drifted over
North Korea on Kim Jong-Un's birthday

165
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and was hit by a celebratory ICBM.

166
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-[muffled laughter]
-Outright fibbery!

167
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:45,632
Oh, my God. You are so dumb.

168
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How did you live this long?

169
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,387
You don't give me respect,
then you don't get any.

170
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You are not leaving
Mother's sewing room until…

171
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[gasps, grunts]

172
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Give me strength, Papa.

173
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Get back in here.

174
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,733
Aw. But I was gonna go out
and find America.

175
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[groans]

176
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,030
This was fun, but I gotta go.
You've been a great host.

177
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Five stars.

178
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[sighs]

179
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:15,704
It's time to swallow
my pride and ask for help.

180
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:16,788
[doorbell rings]

181
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,333
Marge, a man is here.

182
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,459
Principal Skinner?

183
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,712
Did you come to yell at us again?

184
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,505
Mr. and Mrs. Simpson.

185
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,966
I come to you hat in hand.

186
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,844
I've never had to deal with a child

187
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outside the hours of 8:10 to 2:45.

188
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I need your advice.
How do I handle this handful?

189
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,396
[both laughing]

190
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You're asking us? The garbage parents?

191
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:47,152
[cackles] But we spawned a monster.

192
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,572
[Simpsons cackling]

193
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,324
One day with a kid,
and he's already broken.

194
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,412
And now he needs our help.

195
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,585
Please. I'm desperate.

196
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,255
Oh, my God. Oh, that's so sweet.

197
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,425
Okay, okay. [chuckles]
Where's the kid now?

198
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,094
In my house. I hired Nelson to sit.

199
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,889
I'm cold. Can you turn the heat up?

200
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:16,973
You're the client.

201
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,183
[farts]

202
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,854
Please. I'm at my wits' end.
I need your help with Hub.

203
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,065
Okay, because you begged nicely,

204
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,777
we'll share a couple
of nuggets of parental wisdom.

205
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,489
Sometimes, challenging kids
just wanna be recognized.

206
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:36,493
Find what the little miracle
is interested in and encourage it.

207
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,371
Be a hard-ass. Every day should be
like his first day in prison,

208
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,208
and he's all alone
in the yard without a shiv.

209
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,709
Flood him with hugs.

210
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,960
Crush his spirit.

211
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,879
Give him a shoulder to cry on.

212
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,297
Quit your crying!

213
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,007
[Marge] Tell him he's loved.

214
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,219
-[Homer] Tell him he's lucky to be alive.
-[Marge] Nourish his creativity.

215
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,096
[Homer] Lock him in a dog crate.

216
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,226
Good Lord.
Someone could slip on this watery plastic.

217
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,977
Or worse, slide.

218
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,646
Wet orphan coming through.

219
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,272
[both] Whoa, whoa!

220
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,441
Whoa, whoa!

221
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:14,030
Oh. Uh-oh. We meet again, Darth Tedious.

222
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,490
[laughs]

223
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:20,328
Give this kid a break.
His parents died on the Titanic.

224
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,582
[♪ Muzak playing over speakers]

225
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,501
Good afternoon, Seymour.

226
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,253
Here for your usual?

227
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,965
Oh, no, thank you, Phillip.

228
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,593
We need to get this ragamuffin
some respectable schoolboy clothes.

229
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:41,766
Hmm. Perhaps a poplin pullover
and corduroy perma-crease slacks.

230
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,688
[groans]

231
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:52,360
[Hub] ♪ The world's most boring loser
Is making me dress just like him ♪

232
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,696
♪ His house smells like old lady pee ♪

233
00:10:54,779 --> 00:11:00,243
♪ But he's so used to the smell
That he can't smell it ♪

234
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,536
Will you get on with it?

235
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,707
By Doug Henning's mustache. He's escaped.

236
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,167
[screams, grunts]

237
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,626
[panting]

238
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,588
Hub!

239
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,221
-There you are.
-[gasps]

240
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,516
-Come out of there right now.
-Make me.

241
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,396
[gasping]
My greasy fingers won't let me… [grunts]

242
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,982
There's no lifeguard. Hang on, boy.

243
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,455
[coughs]

244
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,915
[gasping]

245
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,960
[coughs] You saved me.

246
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,255
All I've done is
say mean stuff to you, run away

247
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,800
and scratch up all your records
where dogs bark Christmas carols.

248
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,470
It's fine.
Those dogs are long dead anyway.

249
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,805
It's not like I can
go see them in concert again.

250
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,308
But of course I saved you.
You were in danger.

251
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,517
Thanks, Seymour.

252
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:10,605
In all my years as a principal,
I've… I've never been hugged.

253
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,191
I feel like I'm floating on air.

254
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,276
[table fan blowing]

255
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:22,242
[♪ barking "Jingle Bells"]

256
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,786
Well, that's marvelous.
You're very talented.

257
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,371
Look out, Perry Como.

258
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,040
Oh. I like how you know people
I've never heard of.

259
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,043
Ah, spoken like a young Mort Sahl.

260
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,630
[♪ "Room 222 - Theme" playing]

261
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:55,400
Well, so ends the first spring break
where I actually had fun.

262
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,736
[sighs] Well, I suppose I must
resume the hunt for your parents.

263
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,738
Oh, well, good luck with that.

264
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,782
They were on a Japanese game show

265
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,493
and they drowned in a giant toilet
full of salmon roe.

266
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,828
[chuckles]

267
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,664
You and your fantastical falsehoods.

268
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,626
[sighs] Well, catch you later.
Time to lone-wolf it again.

269
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,004
Returning to the background.

270
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,089
[students chattering]

271
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,927
Nourish his creativity.

272
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,139
Nope. No talent. Tone deaf.

273
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,892
Dance, ten. Looks, three.
Ooh, Principal Skinner.

274
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,062
Dewey, you've got one more auditionee.

275
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,940
I don't wanna be
in some stupid bunny musical.

276
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,068
I thought we were cool.
I went to see Laser Beethoven with you.

277
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,864
The weird smoke there made me fall asleep.
Don't make me do this.

278
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,658
Be a hard-ass. Make him do it.

279
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,244
If you don't, I will.

280
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,580
I'm not giving you the choice.

281
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,832
You're a talented kid
with untapped potential.

282
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,292
Now get up there and audition.

283
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,047
Why did I make Hub audition?

284
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,258
He's probably dying
of embarrassment in there.

285
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,010
Seymour, you're a fool.

286
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,389
You have a master's degree in education,
but the parenting skills of a basketball.

287
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:14,604
-I'm sorry, Hub.
-Okay, I tried out like you said.

288
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,688
They hated me.

289
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,399
For being so awesome.

290
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,152
I'm playing Farmer McGregor.
I'm in three scenes.

291
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,361
One with Peter Rabbit.

292
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,363
[gasps] Aw!

293
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,366
I did it. I'm parenting,
and I'm good at it.

294
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,913
How do you like me now,
Spalding Dirk Nowitzki autograph special?

295
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,879
Okay, daffodils, daffodils.
Spring has sprung.

296
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,297
Peter Rabbit comes out.

297
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,050
And cue Farmer McGregor.

298
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,677
[in Southern accent]
Who's been eating my carrots?

299
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,179
Exit McGregor.

300
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,974
Peter Rabbit launches into his big number,
"I've Been Eating the Carrots."

301
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,143
That's it? That's all you got for Hub?

302
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,228
It's not all.

303
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,688
He sweeps up the bandannas
after the hoedown scene.

304
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,358
Dewey, I'm starting
to think you lack the vision

305
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,068
to make these characters come to life.

306
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,655
And you could do better?
Fine. Here's the headset.

307
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,533
You want it? Take it, take it.
Just-- Just take it.

308
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,660
[muttering angrily]

309
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,580
Well, cast, um,
who's ready to go on a ride with me

310
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,834
as we explore the depths
of our new protagonist,

311
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,585
-Farmer McGregor?
-[♪ piano riff plays]

312
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,214
Okay, so, the thing you guys don't get
about Farmer McGregor

313
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:27,426
is he's the best actor in the world,
and you're just a bunch of dumb animals.

314
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,761
Now, let's have fun with this.

315
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,805
What the hell is this [bleep]?

316
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,974
Farmer McGregor only has three lines

317
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,644
and two of them are,
"Here comes Peter Rabbit." Me.

318
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,728
We're gonna fix that.

319
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:41,983
Lisa Simpson,
I need a rewrite by third period tomorrow.

320
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,528
Beef up the McGregor character.
Explore his inner world.

321
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,780
Give Hub something worthy of his talents.

322
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,282
Fix the script.

323
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,034
I get to be
every eight-year-old girl's hero:

324
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,953
Steven Zaillian.

325
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,791
Milhouse is a joy to have in the room.

326
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:03,880
He just needs to stop practicing
his kissing on female lunch box images.

327
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,007
You hear that, Luann? Female.

328
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:12,221
These thin-skinned parents unable
to handle the slightest feedback

329
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,308
about their perfect children.
[sighs] Who's next?

330
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:19,812
That would be Hub, but his parents
didn't sign up for the conference, so…

331
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,230
I'll stand in for them.

332
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,984
Okay, well,
I-I can get to Hub's strengths in a sec,

333
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,570
but I'll start with some of his stretches.

334
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,655
[scoffs] Well, that won't take long.

335
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,118
Yes, he used to be
so quiet and unassuming,

336
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:39,457
but now that he's starring in the play,
he's become a bit of a show-off.

337
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,251
You're fired.

338
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,296
But I… No, no,
I-I'm merely pointing out that Hub--

339
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,506
Is coming into his own.

340
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,634
He's talented. He's a supernova.

341
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,720
What are you? A fourth-grade teacher
in a failing school?

342
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,931
And this boy is an orphan.

343
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,352
His parents both had Benjamin Button
disease and died as 85-year-old babies.

344
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,770
Hmm. That's another thing.

345
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,980
Hub has a tendency to…

346
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,024
lie.

347
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,275
He's an actor.

348
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,486
Actors lie for a living. That's their art.

349
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,113
Don't you dare say
another harsh word about my…

350
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:15,034
-Hub.
-Seymour, you are his principal,

351
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,869
not his father.

352
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,705
[sighs] Of course. You're right.

353
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,041
You've given me a lot to think about.

354
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:31,133
Excellent, Willie. Forty down, 360 to go.

355
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,470
Ooh. Look who's coming to town. Hub.

356
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,645
Well, this is your big night.

357
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,730
They're all here to see you.

358
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,275
And I'm ready to bring the thunder.

359
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,652
Look out, theatergoers, here comes…

360
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,030
Holy crud.

361
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,156
Butterflies, eh?

362
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,867
From Brando to Balki,
all the great ones get 'em.

363
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,580
Break a leg, son.

364
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:09,505
[♪ dramatic music plays]

365
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,467
Peter Rabbit is dead.

366
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,553
Who will save the farm?

367
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,015
-[♪ drum roll]
-[all chanting] McGregor. McGregor.

368
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,435
-[♪ music fizzles out]
-[audience murmuring]

369
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,187
That's your cue, Olivier.

370
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,523
Hub!

371
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,526
The adoption.

372
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,986
I spooked him.

373
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,863
Hub, wait. Come back.

374
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,032
Dad!

375
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,827
He called me Dad.
He wants me to adopt him.

376
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,788
Son, you just made me the happiest…

377
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,123
What are you doing here?

378
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,083
We're your parents. That's what.

379
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,046
Ha-ha! You thought he was running to you.

380
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,672
Your mother dances for coupons,

381
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,759
and your father has a second family
he loves more than you.

382
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,510
[whimpers]

383
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:57,803
How did you find me?

384
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:02,016
Your face is on every light pole
from here to Ogdenville.

385
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,560
[sighs] I… I don't understand.

386
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,645
We don't either.

387
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,856
You've got some explaining to do,
Alexander Hubley.

388
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,024
[groans]

389
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,026
Mom and Dad dumped me at boarding school

390
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,321
with a bunch of other snooty jerks
with rich parents who don't give a crap.

391
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:19,325
I couldn't take it, so I bailed
and came to Springfield. I liked it here.

392
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,203
And now we've found you.

393
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,330
Yeah, well,
it only took you like five months.

394
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,583
We're sorry, son. Come on. Let's go home.

395
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,129
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, uh,

396
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,966
due to an administrator getting
his heart broken into a million pieces,

397
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,010
we are canceling the play.

398
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,346
[audience cheering]

399
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,515
Yeah,
I hear your cheers of disappointment,

400
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,685
but, unfortunately,
we have lost our Farmer McGregor.

401
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,561
No, you haven't.

402
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,522
[audience groaning]

403
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,858
A farmer rises with the sun,

404
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,652
coaxing life out of the earth

405
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,488
and nourishing the beasts
under his dominion.

406
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,991
But I wanna talk about
one particular creature on my farm.

407
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:04,704
A wayward mouse who had been
abandoned by his rich mouse parents

408
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,163
at an elite boarding farm.

409
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,417
Wait, I didn't write
any of this mouse junk.

410
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,503
You didn't write anything.
You just ran the room.

411
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,756
Picking good stuff is just
as hard as creating good stuff.

412
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,844
The mouse ran away and hid in the barn,
blending in with the other animals,

413
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,263
afraid to call attention to himself.

414
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,140
Then, a kind old mouse found him.

415
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,600
He shared with him
the cheese of encouragement.

416
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,603
And with that, the mouse spread his wings

417
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:33,357
and became a magnificent
Mr. Pibb-drinking butterfly.

418
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,942
[cooing]

419
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,445
But now, the little mouse has to leave,

420
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:41,157
and he'll never forget the kind
older mouse who believed in him,

421
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,285
allowing him to see more.

422
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,788
[audience exclaiming and applauding]

423
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:54,420
Your son is terrific.

424
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,504
-Thank you.
-Thank you.

425
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,674
That's not my boy.

426
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,186
[♪ theme music playing]

427
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,360
Okay, guys, let's focus.

428
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,989
Again, how does McGregor lose the farm
at the end of the first act?

429
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,909
Anyone? Anything!

430
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,494
How about this?

431
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:30,664
McGregor comes home, house gone,
rabbits everywhere,

432
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,792
and he says…

433
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,461
Don't start a sentence
if you don't know where it's going!

434
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,423
[groans] Okay, guess what.
Now we're staying late.

435
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,175
What do you guys want for dinner?

436
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,177
-Corn dogs!
-Dino nuggets!

437
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,845
-Noodles with butter!
-Tuna fish!

438
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:48,057
-Pepperoni!
-Now you've got pitches?