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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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{\an8}Children, you've been extra good,
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{\an8}so you've earned
a very special field trip.
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{\an8}Get ready for the best day
of your lives at the Waterpark...
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{\an8}[students cheering]
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{\an8}- ...Museum of Late Victorian Textiles.
- [students groaning]
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{\an8}[groans]
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I saw the word "waterpark"
and got too excited to read the rest.
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{\an8}[grunts]
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{\an8}The entrance hall carpet
is a reproduction of an original
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{\an8}that Mr. Waterpark saw
on a trip to Utrecht.
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{\an8}Any guesses as to its ornamentation?
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{\an8}[grunts]
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{\an8}Anyone?
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{\an8}Wilton. It's a Wilton pattern.
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{\an8}You're the first person
that's ever gotten that.
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{\an8}And a docent never forgets her first.
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{\an8}[chuckles]
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{\an8}[students] Ew.
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{\an8}Kids, you've seen the foyer.
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{\an8}Now let's visit the demi-foyer.
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{\an8}[students groan]
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{\an8}Well, there's only one cure
for this type of boredom.
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{\an8}A Gilded Age home invasion.
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{\an8}[laughs]
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{\an8}Nope. Nope.
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{\an8}Nope.
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{\an8}Ugh. There's gotta be something fun
in this dust dungeon.
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Hmm?
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- Whoa.
- [♪ dramatic music plays]
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{\an8}Something.
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Don't be afraid to feel the perforations
on this Edwardian sable felt.
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I'm not afraid.
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Psst.
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[♪ dramatic music plays]
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[all] Something.
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[students giggling, cheering]
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I'm making it snow
over the lighthouse in St. Augustine.
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Snow globe fight!
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[students laughing, screaming]
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Hmm, this brocade.
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I've never felt such a luxurious warp.
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Twiddle the weft.
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- [glass shattering]
- [Bart] Eat globe!
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[gasps] My charges.
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[students clamoring]
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[yelps]
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[groaning]
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This horseplay stops now.
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Globes down.
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- Heads-up.
- Raise my head?
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Heard and understood.
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[glass shatters]
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[Skinner]
Oh, these past weeks have been difficult.
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Five eyeball surgeries. Two lid grafts.
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Now I have rods, but no cones.
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But I have a purpose.
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Even though it's the last day
before spring break, I had to come back
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so I could say the words
every principal dreams of saying.
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You are garbage parents.
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Garbage parents?
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Even me?
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Yes, both of you spawned
that snow-globe-hurling monster.
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[both groan]
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He said, "Heads-up."
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And I raised my head accordingly.
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[both gasp]
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Please, Principal Skinner.
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Bart's not a bad kid.
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If only you could see
my special little guy the way I do.
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Come on, Marge.
Bart's the devil, and you know it.
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Anyway, it's your fault for taking
an amped-up psycho like that
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to a water park.
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It wasn't a water park.
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Oh, I didn't read past the first word
on the permission slip.
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All you parents are the same.
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Take credit when your kids succeed
and make excuses when they fail.
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It's disgusting.
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It's because of parents like you that...
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[over PA] ...I hate children!
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[sobs]
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[clears throat]
Disregard. Have a nice spring break.
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Mother, I'm home.
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[Agnes] Dear Seymour,
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I'm sorry I didn't visit you
in the hospital.
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Oh. No mother wants to see her son...
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period.
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I'm going to Atlantic City with Jasper.
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It'll be a month of nonstop poker,
and we might get some card playing in too.
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[chuckles] Wink, wink.
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Ha!
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Must be nice to be able to wink. [sighs]
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Just as well.
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I have a whole spring break
to do what I wanna do.
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[crickets chirping]
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Ah. Textbook requisition forms
and room temperature Mr. Pibb.
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This is the high life.
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- [loud clattering]
- [stammers]
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Who goes there?
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[clattering continues]
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[skittering]
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That's no who.
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It's a what.
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[Willie]
Go away. I'm about to score with my wife.
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But there's a creature loose
in the school.
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Why didn't you say so, man?
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Our Scottish Scrabble game can wait.
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[♪ bagpipe music plays]
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Now go kill a frightened,
defenseless animal
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that stumbled into the world of man.
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[♪ dramatic music plays]
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[thudding]
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The creature.
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[♪ dramatic music continues]
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I'm a ghost of a kid who died long ago
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when kids used to die all the time.
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A specter!
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Those weren't dog bones
I found in the sandbox!
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You're no apparition.
You've been living in my library.
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Living in a library?
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[scoffs] That's sick, man.
How can you say that to a little kid?
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Now get off my lawn.
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A student holing up in the school.
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How can I live this down?
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A blemish like this
on my permanent record.
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[laughing] What the hell is coming out
of your eyes, you freak?
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It's whimsical snow.
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{\an8}I recognize you. Your name is Hub.
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{\an8}You're a student here.
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{\an8}This blatant infraction
is going directly into your file.
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Well, good luck with that,
sparkle tears. I'm not in there.
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You're not enrolled? But I've seen you.
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You're in Ms. Peyton's class.
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{\an8}One of those kids that sits in the back
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{\an8}between Eyeglasses Girl
and Bucktooth Boy and never speaks.
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Good Lord. You've been pretending
to be a student
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so you could live at the school.
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[mocking] So you could live at the school.
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Live at the school.
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[garbled mocking] ...school.
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Where are your parents?
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My mother's with Jasper,
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and my father's ashes are in a bag
in the upstairs sewing room.
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Now come clean.
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Seymour, what the devil is going on?
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Look out! It's your pimp.
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He's not my pimp.
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I've got this, sir.
I'm calling Child Services.
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You do, and I will cut you like a bitch.
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[gasps]
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If the state learns a runaway child
has been squatting here,
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they'll turn this school
into a Spirit Halloween store, okay?
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You keep this child under your supervision
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until you locate his family
and return him to them.
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I'm going back to bed.
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The next time I see you,
you better have my money...
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requisition forms
for next year's textbooks.
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You can tell he really values you.
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Don't get comfortable.
You're only here till I find your parents.
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Look, Principal Skinner, you're not going
to find them. They're dead.
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Oh, my Lord. I'm so sorry.
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It was horrible.
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Their hot-air balloon drifted over
North Korea on Kim Jong-Un's birthday
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and was hit by a celebratory ICBM.
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- [muffled laughter]
- Outright fibbery!
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Oh, my God. You are so dumb.
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How did you live this long?
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You don't give me respect,
then you don't get any.
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You are not leaving
Mother's sewing room until...
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[gasps, grunts]
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Give me strength, Papa.
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Get back in here.
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Aw. But I was gonna go out
and find America.
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[groans]
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This was fun, but I gotta go.
You've been a great host.
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Five stars.
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[sighs]
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It's time to swallow
my pride and ask for help.
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[doorbell rings]
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Marge, a man is here.
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Principal Skinner?
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Did you come to yell at us again?
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Mr. and Mrs. Simpson.
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I come to you hat in hand.
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I've never had to deal with a child
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outside the hours of 8:10 to 2:45.
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I need your advice.
How do I handle this handful?
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[both laughing]
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You're asking us? The garbage parents?
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[cackles] But we spawned a monster.
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[Simpsons cackling]
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One day with a kid,
and he's already broken.
193
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And now he needs our help.
194
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Please. I'm desperate.
195
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Oh, my God. Oh, that's so sweet.
196
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Okay, okay. [chuckles]
Where's the kid now?
197
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In my house. I hired Nelson to sit.
198
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,971
I'm cold. Can you turn the heat up?
199
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,056
You're the client.
200
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[farts]
201
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Please. I'm at my wits' end.
I need your help with Hub.
202
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,147
Okay, because you begged nicely,
203
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,859
we'll share a couple
of nuggets of parental wisdom.
204
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,571
Sometimes, challenging kids
just wanna be recognized.
205
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:36,575
Find what the little miracle
is interested in and encourage it.
206
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,454
Be a hard-ass. Every day should be
like his first day in prison,
207
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,290
and he's all alone
in the yard without a shiv.
208
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Flood him with hugs.
209
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,043
Crush his spirit.
210
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Give him a shoulder to cry on.
211
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Quit your crying!
212
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,090
[Marge] Tell him he's loved.
213
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,301
- [Homer] Tell him he's lucky to be alive.
- [Marge] Nourish his creativity.
214
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,096
[Homer] Lock him in a dog crate.
215
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,308
Good Lord.
Someone could slip on this watery plastic.
216
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,060
Or worse, slide.
217
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,728
Wet orphan coming through.
218
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[both] Whoa, whoa!
219
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,441
Whoa, whoa!
220
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:14,113
Oh. Uh-oh. We meet again, Darth Tedious.
221
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,572
[laughs]
222
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:20,328
Give this kid a break.
His parents died on the Titanic.
223
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:24,665
[♪ Muzak playing over speakers]
224
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,583
Good afternoon, Seymour.
225
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,253
Here for your usual?
226
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,047
Oh, no, thank you, Phillip.
227
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,676
We need to get this ragamuffin
some respectable schoolboy clothes.
228
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:41,766
Hmm. Perhaps a poplin pullover
and corduroy perma-crease slacks.
229
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,688
[groans]
230
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:52,442
[Hub] ♪ The world's most boring loser
Is making me dress just like him ♪
231
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,778
♪ His house smells like old lady pee ♪
232
00:10:54,779 --> 00:11:00,325
♪ But he's so used to the smell
That he can't smell it ♪
233
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Will you get on with it?
234
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,789
By Doug Henning's mustache. He's escaped.
235
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[screams, grunts]
236
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,626
[panting]
237
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,588
Hub!
238
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,221
- There you are.
- [gasps]
239
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,599
- Come out of there right now.
- Make me.
240
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,478
[gasping]
My greasy fingers won't let me... [grunts]
241
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,982
There's no lifeguard. Hang on, boy.
242
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,537
[coughs]
243
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,915
[gasping]
244
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:51,043
[coughs] You saved me.
245
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,338
All I've done is
say mean stuff to you, run away
246
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:57,883
and scratch up all your records
where dogs bark Christmas carols.
247
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,552
It's fine.
Those dogs are long dead anyway.
248
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,888
It's not like I can
go see them in concert again.
249
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,390
But of course I saved you.
You were in danger.
250
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,517
Thanks, Seymour.
251
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:10,687
In all my years as a principal,
I've... I've never been hugged.
252
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,273
I feel like I'm floating on air.
253
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,276
[table fan blowing]
254
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:22,324
[♪ barking "Jingle Bells"]
255
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,868
Well, that's marvelous.
You're very talented.
256
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,453
Look out, Perry Como.
257
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,122
Oh. I like how you know people
I've never heard of.
258
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:32,125
Ah, spoken like a young Mort Sahl.
259
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,630
[♪ "Room 222 - Theme" playing]
260
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:55,482
Well, so ends the first spring break
where I actually had fun.
261
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,819
[sighs] Well, I suppose I must
resume the hunt for your parents.
262
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,738
Oh, well, good luck with that.
263
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,864
They were on a Japanese game show
264
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,575
and they drowned in a giant toilet
full of salmon roe.
265
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,910
[chuckles]
266
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,746
You and your fantastical falsehoods.
267
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,709
[sighs] Well, catch you later.
Time to lone-wolf it again.
268
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,086
Returning to the background.
269
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,089
[students chattering]
270
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,927
Nourish his creativity.
271
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,221
Nope. No talent. Tone deaf.
272
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,975
Dance, ten. Looks, three.
Ooh, Principal Skinner.
273
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,145
Dewey, you've got one more auditionee.
274
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,023
I don't wanna be
in some stupid bunny musical.
275
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:39,151
I thought we were cool.
I went to see Laser Beethoven with you.
276
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,864
The weird smoke there made me fall asleep.
Don't make me do this.
277
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,741
Be a hard-ass. Make him do it.
278
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,244
If you don't, I will.
279
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,662
I'm not giving you the choice.
280
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,914
You're a talented kid
with untapped potential.
281
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,292
Now get up there and audition.
282
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,047
Why did I make Hub audition?
283
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,340
He's probably dying
of embarrassment in there.
284
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,092
Seymour, you're a fool.
285
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,389
You have a master's degree in education,
but the parenting skills of a basketball.
286
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:14,686
- I'm sorry, Hub.
- Okay, I tried out like you said.
287
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:15,688
They hated me.
288
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,482
For being so awesome.
289
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,234
I'm playing Farmer McGregor.
I'm in three scenes.
290
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,444
One with Peter Rabbit.
291
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,446
[gasps] Aw!
292
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,366
I did it. I'm parenting,
and I'm good at it.
293
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,913
How do you like me now,
Spalding Dirk Nowitzki autograph special?
294
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,961
Okay, daffodils, daffodils.
Spring has sprung.
295
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:41,297
Peter Rabbit comes out.
296
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,132
And cue Farmer McGregor.
297
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,760
[in Southern accent]
Who's been eating my carrots?
298
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,261
Exit McGregor.
299
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:52,057
Peter Rabbit launches into his big number,
"I've Been Eating the Carrots."
300
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,226
That's it? That's all you got for Hub?
301
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,310
It's not all.
302
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,771
He sweeps up the bandannas
after the hoedown scene.
303
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,440
Dewey, I'm starting
to think you lack the vision
304
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,150
to make these characters come to life.
305
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,737
And you could do better?
Fine. Here's the headset.
306
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,615
You want it? Take it, take it.
Just-- Just take it.
307
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,742
[muttering angrily]
308
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:14,663
Well, cast, um,
who's ready to go on a ride with me
309
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,916
as we explore the depths
of our new protagonist,
310
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,668
- Farmer McGregor?
- [♪ piano riff plays]
311
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,296
Okay, so, the thing you guys don't get
about Farmer McGregor
312
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:27,509
is he's the best actor in the world,
and you're just a bunch of dumb animals.
313
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,844
Now, let's have fun with this.
314
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,887
What the hell is this [bleep]?
315
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,056
Farmer McGregor only has three lines
316
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:36,726
and two of them are,
"Here comes Peter Rabbit." Me.
317
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,811
We're gonna fix that.
318
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:42,065
Lisa Simpson,
I need a rewrite by third period tomorrow.
319
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,610
Beef up the McGregor character.
Explore his inner world.
320
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,863
Give Hub something worthy of his talents.
321
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,364
Fix the script.
322
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,117
I get to be
every eight-year-old girl's hero:
323
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,953
Steven Zaillian.
324
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,874
Milhouse is a joy to have in the room.
325
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:03,962
He just needs to stop practicing
his kissing on female lunch box images.
326
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,007
You hear that, Luann? Female.
327
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:12,304
These thin-skinned parents unable
to handle the slightest feedback
328
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,390
about their perfect children.
[sighs] Who's next?
329
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:19,895
That would be Hub, but his parents
didn't sign up for the conference, so...
330
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,313
I'll stand in for them.
331
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,066
Okay, well,
I-I can get to Hub's strengths in a sec,
332
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,652
but I'll start with some of his stretches.
333
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,738
[scoffs] Well, that won't take long.
334
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,201
Yes, he used to be
so quiet and unassuming,
335
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:39,457
but now that he's starring in the play,
he's become a bit of a show-off.
336
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,334
You're fired.
337
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,378
But I... No, no,
I-I'm merely pointing out that Hub--
338
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,589
Is coming into his own.
339
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,716
He's talented. He's a supernova.
340
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:52,802
What are you? A fourth-grade teacher
in a failing school?
341
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,013
And this boy is an orphan.
342
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,434
His parents both had Benjamin Button
disease and died as 85-year-old babies.
343
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,852
Hmm. That's another thing.
344
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,980
Hub has a tendency to...
345
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,106
lie.
346
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,358
He's an actor.
347
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,568
Actors lie for a living. That's their art.
348
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,113
Don't you dare say
another harsh word about my...
349
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:15,116
- Hub.
- Seymour, you are his principal,
350
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,952
not his father.
351
00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,788
[sighs] Of course. You're right.
352
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,041
You've given me a lot to think about.
353
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:31,216
Excellent, Willie. Forty down, 360 to go.
354
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,470
Ooh. Look who's coming to town. Hub.
355
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,727
Well, this is your big night.
356
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,813
They're all here to see you.
357
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,357
And I'm ready to bring the thunder.
358
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,652
Look out, theatergoers, here comes...
359
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,113
Holy crud.
360
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,239
Butterflies, eh?
361
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,867
From Brando to Balki,
all the great ones get 'em.
362
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,580
Break a leg, son.
363
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:09,505
[♪ dramatic music plays]
364
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,550
Peter Rabbit is dead.
365
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,635
Who will save the farm?
366
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,015
- [♪ drum roll]
- [all chanting] McGregor. McGregor.
367
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,517
- [♪ music fizzles out]
- [audience murmuring]
368
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,187
That's your cue, Olivier.
369
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,523
Hub!
370
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,609
The adoption.
371
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,068
I spooked him.
372
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,863
Hub, wait. Come back.
373
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,032
Dad!
374
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:39,827
He called me Dad.
He wants me to adopt him.
375
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,871
Son, you just made me the happiest...
376
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,205
What are you doing here?
377
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,083
We're your parents. That's what.
378
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:50,128
Ha-ha! You thought he was running to you.
379
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,755
Your mother dances for coupons,
380
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,841
and your father has a second family
he loves more than you.
381
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,593
[whimpers]
382
00:18:56,594 --> 00:18:57,886
How did you find me?
383
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:02,098
Your face is on every light pole
from here to Ogdenville.
384
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,643
[sighs] I... I don't understand.
385
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,727
We don't either.
386
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,938
You've got some explaining to do,
Alexander Hubley.
387
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,106
[groans]
388
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,108
Mom and Dad dumped me at boarding school
389
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,403
with a bunch of other snooty jerks
with rich parents who don't give a crap.
390
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:19,407
I couldn't take it, so I bailed
and came to Springfield. I liked it here.
391
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:22,285
And now we've found you.
392
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,412
Yeah, well,
it only took you like five months.
393
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,583
We're sorry, son. Come on. Let's go home.
394
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,212
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, uh,
395
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:36,049
due to an administrator getting
his heart broken into a million pieces,
396
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,093
we are canceling the play.
397
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,428
[audience cheering]
398
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,597
Yeah,
I hear your cheers of disappointment,
399
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,767
but, unfortunately,
we have lost our Farmer McGregor.
400
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,644
No, you haven't.
401
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,522
[audience groaning]
402
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,941
A farmer rises with the sun,
403
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,734
coaxing life out of the earth
404
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,488
and nourishing the beasts
under his dominion.
405
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:01,074
But I wanna talk about
one particular creature on my farm.
406
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:04,786
A wayward mouse who had been
abandoned by his rich mouse parents
407
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,246
at an elite boarding farm.
408
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,499
Wait, I didn't write
any of this mouse junk.
409
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,585
You didn't write anything.
You just ran the room.
410
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,839
Picking good stuff is just
as hard as creating good stuff.
411
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,926
The mouse ran away and hid in the barn,
blending in with the other animals,
412
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,345
afraid to call attention to himself.
413
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,222
Then, a kind old mouse found him.
414
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,683
He shared with him
the cheese of encouragement.
415
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:29,686
And with that, the mouse spread his wings
416
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:33,440
and became a magnificent
Mr. Pibb-drinking butterfly.
417
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,024
[cooing]
418
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,527
But now, the little mouse has to leave,
419
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:41,239
and he'll never forget the kind
older mouse who believed in him,
420
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,285
allowing him to see more.
421
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,788
[audience exclaiming and applauding]
422
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:54,502
Your son is terrific.
423
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,504
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
424
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,674
That's not my boy.
425
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,186
{\an8}[♪ theme music playing]
426
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,443
{\an8}Okay, guys, let's focus.
427
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,989
{\an8}Again, how does McGregor lose the farm
at the end of the first act?
428
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,991
{\an8}Anyone? Anything!
429
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,576
{\an8}How about this?
430
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:30,747
{\an8}McGregor comes home, house gone,
rabbits everywhere,
431
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:32,874
{\an8}and he says...
432
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,543
{\an8}Don't start a sentence
if you don't know where it's going!
433
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:39,506
{\an8}[groans] Okay, guess what.
Now we're staying late.
434
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,257
{\an8}What do you guys want for dinner?
435
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,259
{\an8}- Corn dogs!
- Dino nuggets!
436
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,928
{\an8}- Noodles with butter!
- Tuna fish!
437
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:48,057
{\an8}- Pepperoni!
- Now you've got pitches?