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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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Ha-ha!
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There's a cold spill on aisle three.
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Whoa!
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Ooh!
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Ooh!
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Mmm! Art.
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{\an8}What am I going to wear?
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{\an8}What am I going to wear?
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{\an8}Hmm. Too casual. Too dressy.
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{\an8}Too bangin'.
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{\an8}Not bangin' enough.
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{\an8}Maggie spit up on this one.
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{\an8}Homer spit up on this one.
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{\an8}Oh, my God.
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{\an8}Homie, it's 7:06.
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{\an8}Where's the sitter?
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{\an8}She'll be here, don't worry.
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{\an8}We're not gonna be late
to our fun date night
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{\an8}with my work friends
and their current lovers.
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{\an8}Okay, I'll be right down.
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{\an8}I still have to find something to wear.
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{\an8}The best part of being a man is not caring
how you look and dying six years earlier.
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{\an8}So wait, you're really
having date night at Clangerz?
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{\an8}That's a lame nostalgia bar
for you voicemail-leaving dinosaurs.
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{\an8}Hey, how about a little respect?
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{\an8}Unlike you pasty Chalamets,
my generation faced real challenges.
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{\an8}We stormed the beaches
of MTV's spring break in Cancún
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{\an8}to taste test
different sodas in the Cola Wars.
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{\an8}I chose Pepsi,
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{\an8}and I regret it every day of my life.
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{\an8}I give up.
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{\an8}Jean jacket.
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{\an8}It's 7:09.
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{\an8}Now the sitter's 03 minutes later.
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{\an8}Honey, no one's more excited
than I am to meet up with Carl
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{\an8}and Naima and Lenny and whatever bizarre
creature is crazy enough to date him.
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{\an8}You go on ahead.
I'll wait here for the sitter.
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Go without you?
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But then I'd have to carry on
a conversation with your work friends.
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You'll do great.
Just get Carl started on Bitcoin.
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- You know all about crypto, right?
- Superman's dog?
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Okay, other good Lenny-Carl areas:
If Squid Game was real,
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CPAP cleaning hacks, and why
the next James Bond should be Jason Kelce.
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Okay, Marge, you can do this.
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Just don't talk about money,
politics, or sex.
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Hey, Marge.
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Republican tax cuts make me horny!
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It's officially date night at Clangerz.
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Hiya, Marge.
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Hi, Lenny. And you must be Amy.
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That's what it says on my Starbucks cup.
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If I'm lucky.
Most of the time it says "Arnie."
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Coffee people do write the wrong name.
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Once on my cup they wrote "Sarge."
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{\an8}I did an add-on. I'm fitting in.
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Oh, where's that dirtbag teen
I'm entrusting with my children?
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Maybe if I pace faster, I--
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Ooh! She's here!
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Thanks, pacing.
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Oh, thank God you're-- injured!
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Don't stress. I'm good.
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They gave me all the painkillers.
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And I've got some extra for the kids.
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Oh, we were making
a jump-off-the-balcony video
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when she fell off the balcony.
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The TikTok of me landing on
a cornhole board got a like from Josh Gad.
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Oh, babe, you're so talented.
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They call them boneless wings,
but they're just tiny tenders.
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Who do they think they're fooling?
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Not Sarge.
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"Sarge."
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{\an8}Callback.
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This is such fun restaurant banter,
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like the beginning of a sketch
on Saturday Night Live
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before all the wacky behavior
ruins their nice evening.
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Care for a free Aperol spritz
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courtesy of me, Aperol Fritz?
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- Yes!
- Oh, yes, bring it on.
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As God is my witness, I will find
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some sad loser to watch my kids.
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You have reached
the mobile cellular device
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of Principal Seymour Skinner.
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Voicemail.
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No, no, this is he speaking live.
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Oh, my God, Skinner, you run a kid prison.
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Come babysit my jerks.
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My dad isn't talking to me,
the yes-guy said no,
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Mrs. Botz is still in jail, and Flanders
is too busy working on his car.
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Actually, my car's working on me.
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There's a leaf spring in my kidney.
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Well, take care of those organs.
I might need them later.
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Okily dokily, passing out now.
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Come on, Skinner,
I'll match your school salary.
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What do you make, $5 an hour?
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Mr. Simpson,
I am an educator, not a babysitter.
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I would never stoop that low.
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Principal Sitter, wipe me!
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I guess you're the babysitter, big boy.
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I wanna hear three chapters
of Anne of Green Gables
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with authentic
Prince Edward Island accents.
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By the time
I get to the restaurant,
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all the dipping sauces
will be full of nugget crumbs.
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Who's gonna watch these kids?
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Oh! What if the who was a what
and the when was right in front of me?
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{\an8}Kids, meet your new babysitter:
Mrs. Front Door Cam.
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All you have to do is stay in this frame.
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Daddy will be watching,
even if he's driving,
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{\an8}and just to make sure
Bart is a good little boy...
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{\an8}Get bent.
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{\an8}I'm not some stupid dog. I'm--
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Have a nice night. Daddy loves you.
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Ah! Down, down, stay.
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This might be a hot take,
but I wish the Olympics were every week.
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That's genius.
No way you'd get bored of that.
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It would bring the world together.
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Goodbye, wars.
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And the movie theater should tell you
when the movie really starts,
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not when the previews start.
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- Yeah.
- I agree wholeheartedly.
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I love your hot takes, Marge.
Keep 'em coming.
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Okay, here's a scorcher: masking tape--
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The real fun begins now!
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- Homer!
- Big guy!
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- Hello.
- Good to see you!
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Homie, this is going great.
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I don't know why I was worried
I'd be bad at conversation.
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Everything's flowing so freely, and--
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Hey, that's great.
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I got it from here.
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So, work bros, I think Smitty
cheated on his March Madness bracket.
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He just wrote a U with a scribble,
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so you can't tell
if he's picking UConn or UTEP.
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{\an8}And I'm all like, "Which is it, Smitty?
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Miners or Huskies?
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Miners or Huskies?"
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Homer, please,
there's three other people here.
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Right, right, right.
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Who do you ladies like
for WrestleMania this year?
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So, Homer,
the group was having a discussion
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about things that interest all of us.
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Amy found this amazing podcast
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where comedians talk to each other
for hours but don't tell any jokes.
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In the latest one,
Gabriel "Fluffy" Iglesias
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talks about the bus crash
that traumatized--
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Cut that out and shut up!
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When I leave you in porch jail,
I expect you to sit there and be bored.
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The sprinkler came on.
What are we supposed to do?
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Just stomp it back
in the earth like everyone else.
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Who are you talking to?
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Um...
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My crotchel area?
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You left the kids unsupervised?
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No, no, the doorbell's watching them.
It's very responsible.
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And I gave Lisa a brick
to hit strangers with.
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- It's heavy!
- That means it's working.
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I had to use rusty scissors to get
the stupid shock collar off my neck.
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You used my good rusty scissors?
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They better still be rusty
when I get home!
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Sometimes I hate being married to you!
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I shouldn't have
raised my voice like that.
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Just go home and take care of the kids.
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One Centipede?
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Zero Centipedes! Go!
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Okay, okay, okay.
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Sarge?
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{\an8}Oh, this night was going great,
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{\an8}and then you had to see that.
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{\an8}Sorry I made it so awkward.
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No.
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Not awkward.
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Not awkward at all.
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Here, have mine too. Double up.
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Thanks.
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I guess you noticed Homer
isn't the perfect husband.
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Please don't get me wrong.
I love Homer dearly, but he's got flaws.
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Crippling, unignorable flaws.
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{\an8}Sometimes I wish
he was different,
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{\an8}a Homer who doesn't fold under pressure
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{\an8}and make terrible decisions,
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{\an8}someone who is bold and fearless.
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Like, I don't know,
a fighter pilot in that game.
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If only, if only.
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Woo-hoo!
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I feel the need,
the need to go really fast.
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Primo ace top jet squadron, check in.
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- Belch.
- Quadball.
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Open Sore.
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Let's show this town a meaningless
training flight they'll never forget.
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{\an8}♪ Flying fast and flying low
Flying where you're not supposed to go ♪
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♪ Facing your foes
In the deadly sky ♪
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♪ Make one wrong move
And you'll super die ♪
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That dude is brave to the max.
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All right, Simpson,
you've broken the sound barrier.
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Now pull up.
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Sorry, Cap,
not till I break the smell barrier.
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A colonic boom.
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00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:48,017
Oh! That's the odor
from a week from now. Ugh!
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00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,857
It was great being your wingman, Homer.
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00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,192
Hey, let my dog out of the car.
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It's the blue Honda.
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Tower, I'm going down.
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00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,201
Order me a new plane,
this time with a cup holder.
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00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,288
That man's heroism is out of control.
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Another successful mission.
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♪ Riding the ground version of a jet ♪
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♪ To really get the point across ♪
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You ruined a $70 million aircraft,
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and your wingman crashed
into Mount Springfield.
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00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,950
He knew the deal when he got drafted.
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00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:49,537
Simpson, I am ordering you
to undergo psychological evaluation
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to determine the source
of this reckless behavior.
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00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:55,209
Go ahead, sic a shrink on me.
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00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:58,129
When that dude looks inside my head,
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00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:01,382
whoever he is,
that man won't find a thing.
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00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:05,845
You tell that male doctor
with his prominent Adam's apple
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00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:11,809
and hairy boobless chest to go
pound sand with his big masculine fists.
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00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,978
Why don't you tell me yourself?
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That's some control tower
you got up there.
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And it spotted a pilot in distress.
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00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,914
I'm going to get to the root cause
of your dangerous fearlessness,
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and help you get rid of it
once and for all.
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00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:40,129
Well, it's a pretty tall order,
little lady.
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Tell you what, Doc,
you can dig into my brain,
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but we'll do it my way on the fly.
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See if you can keep up.
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Try me, mister.
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♪ Therapy at the speed of tears ♪
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♪ Breakthroughs that normally take years ♪
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♪ Analyze fast so the trauma can't hide ♪
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00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:06,656
♪ Forgive the child inside ♪
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00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,703
You seek out danger. Why?
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00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:17,500
Danger is a me-seeking missile,
and I face it head on. No fear.
234
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:21,963
I think you do have a fear,
a fear of being afraid.
235
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,590
You're right. Fear scares me too much.
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00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:31,597
Because of my stupid fear of fear,
I lost every one of my wingmen.
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00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,268
I'm responsible for so many wing widows.
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00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:40,606
Then I have to do a flyover at
the funeral, and I lose another wingman.
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00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:44,569
It's a vicious cycle.
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00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:49,615
I guess I don't have a shot
with you now, right?
241
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:53,369
A man showing vulnerability
is the biggest turnoff to women.
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Try me, mister.
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♪ Crying during sex ♪
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00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,883
♪ Crying during sex ♪
245
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,638
You cured me.
246
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:16,017
I finally conquered my fearlessness.
247
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:22,815
Betraying my professional code
of ethics has never felt so good.
248
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,739
Simpson, thank God you're here.
249
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,325
America's greatest enemy
is preparing to attack.
250
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,660
- Who? China?
- No, not China.
251
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,079
Oh, God, no. Not China.
252
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,999
- Russia.
- No, not Russia either. No.
253
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,250
North Korea?
254
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,920
Stop naming real countries.
255
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,340
Now your target
is the weapons-grade nuclear reactor
256
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,968
recently discovered
in a heavily-fortified slot canyon
257
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:54,263
in the rogue nation of Nonexististan.
258
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,894
Only America should be able
to wipe out all life on Earth.
259
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,896
Yes, well put, Urine Test.
260
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,192
Our only chance is a precision strike
261
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,196
fired while executing a corkscrew
maneuver called the coffin roll.
262
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:15,451
Bold Eagle, this is the kind of insane
off-the-charts stunt you were born for.
263
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,994
Can we count on you?
264
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:22,833
Admiral, I conquered my fear of fear,
and now I'm not afraid to be afraid.
265
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,003
I can't do the coffin roll.
266
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,922
I might die!
267
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,508
Even the name is scary.
268
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,308
That dude is cowardly to the max.
269
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,894
You fixed him. Now un-fix him back.
270
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,230
Homer, stop.
271
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,065
Brand-new love interest.
272
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,650
I cured your fearlessness,
273
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,362
but your country needs you
to get it back for one last mission.
274
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,863
Get in that cockpit.
275
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,824
I'll be with you all the way.
276
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,742
And then more sex crying?
277
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,744
You better believe it, mister.
278
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,122
Okay, I'll try.
279
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,165
Uppies!
280
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,421
Top jet squadron, report.
281
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,755
Hammer Toe.
282
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,173
Wheat Allergy.
283
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,341
Cameo.
284
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,677
Unsure Guy.
285
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,180
Homer, I said I'd be here with you.
I meant that.
286
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,436
Is this mid-air-apy?
287
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,063
Unload your feelings
288
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:30,359
and your infrared guided
AIM-9X Sidewinder missiles.
289
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,419
I'm fearless again.
290
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,422
You uncured the cure you cured before.
291
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:56,427
Now get up there and go kill
our purposefully vague enemies.
292
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,309
Bogies, squadron,
initiate attack pattern GLC.
293
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,936
That's Gabo Love-Tester Cromulent.
294
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,114
But I'm too famous to die!
295
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,085
Target acquired.
296
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,463
Engaging coffin roll.
297
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,965
You'll never survive it
with your plane in that shape.
298
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,550
It's suicide.
299
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,970
Wrong, it's them-icide.
300
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,655
You did it, Homer.
301
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:01,367
Thanks to you, the best wingman I ever--
302
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,744
Oh, no. All my wingmen tragically die.
303
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,747
Oh, yeah, you said that.
304
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,669
Nonexististan!
305
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,255
Oh, good, you're back.
306
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,466
You've been staring into your drink
and drooling for the last eight minutes.
307
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:22,471
Well, kids, just like American democracy,
my stupid experiment has failed,
308
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,765
so I'll have to be your babysitter.
309
00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:26,517
Now, to let you watch TV all night
310
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,061
while I go through
your parents' medicine cabinet.
311
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,901
Oh, I left my house keys
back at the restaurant.
312
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,778
They're in my summer windbreaker.
313
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,780
Now we're stuck out here.
314
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,908
What if it gets windy
and I have nothing to break it?
315
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,494
How did you drive here
without your car keys?
316
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:50,166
I start my car with a screwdriver ever
since I lost the keys in my fall peacoat.
317
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,584
Dad, calm down.
318
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,920
Mom hid a backup key
inside this fake rock.
319
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,882
Great, now we can get in.
320
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,719
No, you idiot, the key was in the rock.
321
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,597
I'm not a geologist.
322
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,020
You're Homer's best pals.
323
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,271
Tell me something.
324
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,607
What's his whole deal?
325
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,109
Uh... good provider.
326
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,944
Uh, go-getter.
327
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:23,032
You're just saying that
because you're his friends with benefits.
328
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,704
You know, because you're all
on the same health and pension plan.
329
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,750
This round's on me.
330
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:37,254
What? I just paid this month's bill.
331
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:42,343
Homer spent $3,000
on a vintage Centipede arcade game.
332
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:46,847
Hurry it up, guys.
The chump sprung for one-hour shipping.
333
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:52,436
Why can't I have
a normal, responsible husband?
334
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,356
Like they used to have
in those movies from the '50s
335
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:58,234
with businessmen played by Rock Hudson.
336
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,861
Now there was a man's man.
337
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:07,910
So steady, so safe, so conventional.
338
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,538
In conclusion, gentlemen,
339
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,165
I hope you'll consider
implementing my proposed
340
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,875
ashtray expansion program.
341
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:19,797
In my view, it will achieve uninterrupted
desk-side smoking
342
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,467
while decreasing
costly ash disposal disruptions,
343
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,262
providing significant improvements
efficiency-wise,
344
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,056
profit-wise, and conformity-wise,
345
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:31,976
and it's backed by our best numbers man.
346
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:35,938
Fiscal Stu forecasts growth
in quarter two.
347
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,864
Top-notch work, Simpson.
348
00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,907
You're a vital part of this company.
349
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:48,242
Thank you, sir.
350
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:52,580
Now go back to the anonymous junior
executive floor and resume toiling.
351
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,597
Dynamite presentation today, Simpson.
352
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,517
There may be an opening for
an executive position in optimization.
353
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:15,853
Optimization?
354
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:19,398
Ooh, that's a world of difference
from efficiency.
355
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,649
Don't you want this?
356
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,776
I thought you had lead in your pencil,
357
00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,779
whiskey in your coffee,
sand in your hula hoop.
358
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:29,783
I have all those things in those things,
metaphor-wise.
359
00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:32,786
That's very wise, wise-wise.
360
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:36,790
Play your cards right
and you'll get one of these.
361
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:40,878
The key to the executive washroom.
362
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:46,884
You'll be getting your shoes shined while
sitting in a marble-lined toilet stall.
363
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:51,639
A seat as cold as ice
and a flush as loud as thunder.
364
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:55,684
You can seal the deal with the big boss
at his country club party tomorrow.
365
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,228
This could be the most
pivotal moment of your life.
366
00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:00,147
I did survive Normandy.
367
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:02,149
We would have won without you.
368
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:14,703
{\an8}Hey, buddy boy, still amalgamating
those components
369
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,580
{\an8}at Amalgamated Components?
370
00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:20,042
You're mopping up
some pretty chunky gravy, huh?
371
00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:23,253
Ha! I bet you're making 7,000 a year.
372
00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:26,131
Well, accuracy-wise, 7,2.
373
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,343
Whoa. That gravy is
some pretty serious cheddar.
374
00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:34,181
You got the world by the tail, unlike me.
375
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:36,517
Next stop, Cheeverton.
376
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,560
As you disembark,
377
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:42,523
please take a moment to contemplate
how the post-war dream of prosperity
378
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:46,986
has curdled into an empty spiritual hole
at the center of your existence
379
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:50,948
that you fill with alcohol
and loveless casual affairs.
380
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,950
Well, good riding with you, Homer.
381
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:55,828
Keep providing for that
beautiful wife and kids.
382
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,496
I'm going to swim home now.
383
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,290
Pool to pool.
384
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:05,629
Yahoo.
385
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,096
Hello, dear.
386
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,434
Who was that you were talking to?
387
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,561
Poor, sad Kirk Van Houten.
388
00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:22,354
I feel bad for that guy.
389
00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:24,565
Swimming to an empty house every night.
390
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:32,364
Who could find a strapping
athletic loner like that attractive?
391
00:25:32,448 --> 00:25:34,783
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, Daddy.
392
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,327
My boys, Dirk and Birk.
393
00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:42,124
We're going to that party, of course.
394
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,376
You want that promotion, don't you?
395
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,421
Well, it would be nice to move up,
cost-of-living wise,
396
00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:50,799
but then again,
I've only been at the company ten years.
397
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:53,510
Tell us again about
the executive washroom, Papa.
398
00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:55,763
How big is the urinal trough?
399
00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:57,222
No trough, boys.
400
00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,475
- Golly.
- What a life.
401
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:01,852
It's settled. We are going to that party
402
00:26:01,935 --> 00:26:03,812
and you are getting that promotion.
403
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:05,981
This family's going to move up
in the world,
404
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,650
even if it means you have
to work late in the city
405
00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:11,236
and never spend a night in our bed again.
406
00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:15,657
Sleep well, my morose alcoholic stallion.
407
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,621
There's the big boss.
408
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:24,458
Here's your chance to prove
your manhood by debasing yourself.
409
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:25,542
Grovel, Homer.
410
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,835
Grovel like the wind.
411
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:27,920
I'll do it.
412
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,338
I just need a drink.
413
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,882
Um, I'll have a now fashioned.
414
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,561
What's eating at you, daddy-o?
415
00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:47,856
You're sweating
like Dalton Trumbo reading the blacklist.
416
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,818
I'm supposed to talk to the boss
about getting a promotion.
417
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,778
It's everything I want in this life.
418
00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:54,822
Really? That's what you want?
419
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:58,408
To be a soulless cog
in the capitalist machine?
420
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:02,037
Just another yes-man
in a world full of yes-men?
421
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,288
- Yes.
- Yes.
422
00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:05,082
- Yes.
- Yes.
423
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,459
- Yes.
- Yes.
424
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:10,254
Uh, yes?
425
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:12,673
No, that's not for you.
426
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:15,843
You don't want that sad, sad life.
427
00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:19,555
Three-martini lunch,
six-martini drive home.
428
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:22,766
All so you can keel over
with your face in an ashtray
429
00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,936
while working late
on the Henderson account.
430
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:29,857
You're a little presumptuous
for a bartender and/or female.
431
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,944
I only sling sidecars to keep me
in bread and bongos.
432
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,237
I'm an artist.
433
00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:39,950
This drawing captures my soul.
434
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,745
I never thought a cocktail napkin
could be so devastating.
435
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:47,249
D'oh. I don't want this empty life,
but I'm trapped.
436
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:49,585
Tell you what, my tip jar's full.
437
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:50,836
Let's get out of here.
438
00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:55,257
Those fountainheads and pocket squares
will never know you're gone.
439
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:59,011
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes! Yes!
440
00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:03,056
And where we're going,
every neck is turtled.
441
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:53,649
Don't you feel like this great
cosmic energy is pushing us together?
442
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:54,733
Like, yeah.
443
00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,152
Like, I never felt,
like, this free before.
444
00:28:57,235 --> 00:29:00,197
I never thought I'd use
this many "likes" in a sentence.
445
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,661
I, like, think, like, I'm in, like,
love, like, with, like, you, like.
446
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,037
You're a poet.
447
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,915
Let's run away together to California.
448
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:11,583
I'll like do it.
449
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:14,378
The bus leaves
Cheeverton Station in two hours.
450
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:20,676
I love you, artistic bartender chick.
451
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:24,262
I love you, mindless capitalist stooge.
452
00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:41,279
Going somewhere?
453
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:44,199
Uh, well, you see, I was...
454
00:29:44,282 --> 00:29:46,785
I'll tell you where you're going:
up the ladder.
455
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:51,123
While you ran off God knows where,
in God knows what animation style,
456
00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:54,459
I did your job and buttered up your boss.
457
00:29:54,543 --> 00:29:56,545
The promotion?
458
00:29:56,628 --> 00:30:01,800
That's right, Mr. Senior Junior
Assistant Vice President for Optimization.
459
00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:13,478
♪ A hoping time, a time for hopeful hope ♪
460
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:21,862
♪ A feeling warm and vague
Like when you need a nap ♪
461
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:25,907
♪ Might-have-beens and should-have-dones ♪
462
00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:29,578
♪ We grieve all of our choices ♪
463
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:34,833
♪ With sad and mournful voices ♪
464
00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,918
Is there something wrong, sir?
465
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,670
Just keep shining.
466
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:48,972
Oh, that was so sad,
but all those driveways were spotless.
467
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:52,017
I think I'm too drunk
to interpret meaning.
468
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:56,772
Oh, no, what disaster is Homer up to now?
469
00:30:57,355 --> 00:31:00,984
Dad, you're not going to reach
the doorknob through the mail slot.
470
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:02,069
Yes, I will.
471
00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,946
This is the arm that
liberated a thousand Snickers
472
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,699
and one accidental bag of apple chips.
473
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,827
Hey, Dad, I have a great idea.
474
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:14,414
I'm gonna pour all this birdseed
down your butt crack.
475
00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,083
How is that a great idea?
476
00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,839
Hey, squirrel, that's not for you.
477
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:24,299
You son of a gun!
478
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:32,224
You... You...
479
00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:34,309
I'm gonna get you!
480
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:37,687
Why is Homer so broken?
481
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:40,357
Oh! I'm sorry.
482
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,778
Is there maybe
a trauma of his you're ignoring?
483
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,780
Don't give me the head tilt.
484
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:50,283
You know, landing Lenny does not
make you a relationship expert.
485
00:31:50,367 --> 00:31:53,120
He fakes eye injuries to avoid intimacy.
486
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:56,164
That's not true, is it, lover?
487
00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,541
Uh...
488
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:01,503
Ah! My eye. Gotta go for three weeks.
489
00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:05,173
Oh, and what's Lenny's trauma?
490
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:11,096
Don't worry,
I won't ruin the rest of your date.
491
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,981
Couples night over.
492
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:25,610
Auf Wiedersehen,
imaginary cocktail leprechaun.
493
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,779
I am real. I exist.
494
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:30,448
Mmm, my name is Steve.
495
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:35,162
I can't do this.
496
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:39,082
Just take me someplace where people
can wallow in their lowest moment
497
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,710
with zero chance of being judged.
498
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,796
Yeah, yeah, one low-moment
wallow coming up.
499
00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:48,216
It looks like an Aperol spritz.
500
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,384
It's vodka and rust.
501
00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:55,182
Moe, for the first time
in my entire married life,
502
00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:58,226
I didn't want to enter my own home.
503
00:32:58,310 --> 00:33:01,730
Whoa. I guess Homer did something
really bad this time.
504
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,023
Well, he's done worse.
505
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:07,444
It's just that over time,
it builds up like fuzz in a lint trap
506
00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:12,699
until one day, you get home
and your whole damn dryer is on fire.
507
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:21,708
I just keep wondering what it would be
like to be married to a different Homer.
508
00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:24,252
Maybe one who wasn't so full of rage,
509
00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:27,422
who could go through life
with a smile on his face.
510
00:33:27,505 --> 00:33:29,507
Great. Well, just keep staring
into your drink.
511
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:30,884
Maybe something will happen.
512
00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:34,387
Hmm. A smile on his face.
513
00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:41,645
The mood tonight
in Darkham City remains relentlessly grim.
514
00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:45,190
Darkham continues to suffer
from a deep oppressive decay,
515
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:49,277
almost plagiarizingly reminiscent
of an early Scorsese film.
516
00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:52,197
There's a simmering chaos
ready to boil over.
517
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:57,285
Who knows what derivative spark
will set the city aflame.
518
00:33:57,369 --> 00:34:01,706
And now it's time for the late-evening
program with Krusty the Clown.
519
00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:06,378
Hey, hey.
520
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,422
So the sanitation strike
is in its 5th month.
521
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:12,050
The trash is piled so high
in the street corners,
522
00:34:12,133 --> 00:34:16,096
if I want to get a hooker,
I have to hire a Sherpa.
523
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:23,603
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Krusty's still got it, right, Dad?
524
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:27,482
You're the only one that laughs
at that degenerate clown.
525
00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:29,943
Krusty helps me forget my troubles.
526
00:34:30,026 --> 00:34:31,987
What troubles have you got to forget?
527
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,572
Now rinse me off
with our only broth ladle.
528
00:34:38,159 --> 00:34:40,578
Good news.
529
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:43,164
Social services set me up
with my dream job,
530
00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,458
one where my...
531
00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,337
...condition won't get in the...
...way.
532
00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:54,509
Oh! Suddenly, someone's too good
to wash his daddy all day.
533
00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:57,596
Now sponge some soup into my mouth.
534
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:09,899
Whoa! Cover yourself, starvy Keitel.
535
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:13,486
Okay, clowns and clownettes,
536
00:35:13,570 --> 00:35:16,364
when you work
those birthday parties and discount sales,
537
00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:18,658
remember, you are not Krusty,
538
00:35:18,742 --> 00:35:21,494
nor are you affiliated
with the Krusty brand.
539
00:35:21,578 --> 00:35:25,123
You are his unlicensed friend, Krummy.
540
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:27,083
So what is our motto?
541
00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:29,044
- No lawsuits.
- No lawsuits.
542
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,383
That's the Krummy spirit.
543
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:38,053
Don't send this guy
to the preschool graduation.
544
00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:43,058
{\an8}I'm good at this.
545
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:47,270
{\an8}Maybe my life will be
more than just a bathtub of filthy soup.
546
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:49,648
D'oh.
547
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:52,901
D'oh.
548
00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,279
D'oh.
549
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:02,494
Ha-ha!
550
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,333
Hey, swizzle stick,
are you laughing at me?
551
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:11,711
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
552
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,509
This dude has a condition.
553
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:20,345
Now it seems kind of messed-up
to stomp him.
554
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,680
Yeah, you're right.
555
00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,934
Yeah, thanks for making us
feel bad about ourselves, jerk.
556
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:34,192
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
557
00:36:34,275 --> 00:36:39,698
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. Woo-hoo!
558
00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:43,451
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
559
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,871
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
560
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:51,000
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
561
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:57,590
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
562
00:36:57,674 --> 00:37:00,009
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. Ah!
563
00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:07,726
Last night, one
of my biggest fans was brutally attacked
564
00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,853
on the streets of Darkham.
565
00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:11,104
Krusty.
566
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:16,276
He was stomped and beaten
and thrown down Origin Story stairs,
567
00:37:16,359 --> 00:37:20,196
all because he was
dressed like little old me.
568
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,616
Krusty loves me.
569
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:27,036
It was a senseless, brutal crime
570
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:32,625
committed by my four hilarious guests,
the Stomp Brothers!
571
00:37:35,378 --> 00:37:37,380
D'oh.
572
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:40,008
You guys really revolutionized comedy
573
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:43,678
with the way you beat
the crap out of that loser.
574
00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:45,972
Roll the tape.
575
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:48,767
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
576
00:37:48,850 --> 00:37:51,144
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
577
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:54,898
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
578
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:58,359
Why, Krusty?
579
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,445
Why?
580
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:02,447
Because it's hilarious.
581
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:05,992
How come you're not laughing,
Bones McGee?
582
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:09,954
{\an8}You're not funny.
583
00:38:10,038 --> 00:38:11,206
Nothing's funny.
584
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,166
Society's not funny.
585
00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:16,085
{\an8}I'm the stomper now.
586
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:20,256
{\an8}What in tarnation?
587
00:38:25,678 --> 00:38:28,723
I'm free.
588
00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:35,021
Nothing's gonna knock me down.
589
00:38:35,104 --> 00:38:36,731
D'oh. D'oh.
590
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,983
D'oh. D'oh. D'oh.
591
00:38:56,626 --> 00:39:00,922
Oh, this bleak, disgusting world
just got sad.
592
00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:03,007
I know you. You're Homer.
593
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,428
A beautiful lunatic knows my name?
594
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:09,472
Everybody knows you.
595
00:39:09,556 --> 00:39:12,851
The whole city
saw what you did to that rich guy.
596
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:16,521
Everyone is on your side
in your fight against authority.
597
00:39:16,604 --> 00:39:18,147
You're not just infamous.
598
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,358
You're famous. Look.
599
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:22,819
Hey!
600
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,863
Do they want to stomp me?
601
00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:27,282
No, they want to be you.
602
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:31,786
This crowd of clown celebrators
or clowncels
603
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,580
have gathered in support of the vigilante
604
00:39:33,663 --> 00:39:36,124
who struck a blow
against systemic injustice
605
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,627
by murdering a rich man
who was donating money to the hospital.
606
00:39:39,711 --> 00:39:42,964
They have dubbed
their new hero the D'ohker.
607
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:46,217
Thanks for making me feel seen
and feared, D'ohker.
608
00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:50,138
Snuffman is ready to unleash
his toxic male rage.
609
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:51,222
D'oh-yah!
610
00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:53,808
D'ohker, D'ohker!
611
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:56,769
Those angry maniacs
will follow you anywhere.
612
00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:58,980
They're ready to die for your cause.
613
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,565
I don't have a cause.
614
00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:01,816
Yes, you do.
615
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:05,945
You're getting back at everyone that
hurt you in this whole rotten society,
616
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,740
and you're going to do it with a smile.
617
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,241
Come here.
618
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:15,038
Now you do me.
619
00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,922
Your adoring fans await.
620
00:40:24,005 --> 00:40:25,757
Let's not disappoint them.
621
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,427
This may be the 39 flights of stairs
I fell down talking,
622
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:34,933
but I hear a slow, haunting version
of a song that's usually fast and funny.
623
00:40:35,016 --> 00:40:41,522
♪ Happy song done ironic ♪
624
00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:47,612
♪ Sung like a catatonic ♪
625
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:52,742
♪ Painfully clear ♪
626
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:57,121
♪ That the mood is ♪
627
00:40:57,205 --> 00:41:02,627
♪ So drear ♪
628
00:41:02,710 --> 00:41:09,258
♪ And to really put it on the nose ♪
629
00:41:09,342 --> 00:41:12,178
♪ Make sure you close ♪
630
00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:19,268
♪ In an off-putting minor key ♪
631
00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:35,618
The D'ohker has escaped.
632
00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:38,705
The peeved pagliacci broke out
of Darkham Asylum
633
00:41:38,788 --> 00:41:43,084
with maniac pixie dream girl,
Margeley Quinn, by his side.
634
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:47,046
They're leading an army
of similarly-shod antisocial sickos
635
00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:49,465
with no clear purpose or motive.
636
00:41:49,549 --> 00:41:52,969
I have but one purpose and motive,
and they are clear:
637
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,389
to kill Krusty for using
his television show
638
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,559
to loser-shame his biggest fan.
639
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:01,310
Yeah!
640
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,398
Kill Krusty, kill Krusty.
641
00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:08,776
So, Vonnegut, will I understand
Slaughterhouse-Five
642
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,653
if I didn't read the first four?
643
00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:14,991
Slaughterhouse-Five, or as
it's also known, The Children's Crusade,
644
00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:18,745
is a darkly humorous exploration
of the randomness of existence.
645
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:22,415
Die, Krusty, die, Krusty.
646
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:25,960
This is for humiliating me
and for every bad thing
647
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:30,590
that's ever happened to anyone since
and including the beginning of time.
648
00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,012
- Cut to commercial.
- We did it.
649
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:40,767
We solved all of society's problems
by killing my favorite talk show host.
650
00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:42,977
Oh! We're just getting started.
651
00:42:43,061 --> 00:42:46,439
We'll burn this whole city down,
and nothing can stop us
652
00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:50,651
because Batman is contractually
not allowed to exist in this universe.
653
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:55,698
For the first time, I feel loved.
654
00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:05,249
Wait, what?
655
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,085
The D'ohker is happy?
656
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:08,628
And loved.
657
00:43:08,711 --> 00:43:11,506
He's not a self-celibate freak like us.
658
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,382
He's got a girlfriend.
659
00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:14,675
No Chads!
660
00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:16,552
He's found love.
661
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:17,887
Kill them!
662
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:19,472
Die, D'ohker.
663
00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:20,890
Die, D'ohker.
664
00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:30,566
Well, at least in that fantasy,
we ended up together.
665
00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:34,403
Marge, you're the classiest person
to ever pass out in my bar,
666
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,239
but you should go on home now.
667
00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:41,494
Oh, my head hurts.
668
00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:44,831
I don't even know
which Homer I want.
669
00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:47,625
Here I go.
670
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:51,170
Homer. Homer.
671
00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:53,089
Homer?
672
00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:55,174
Homer? Kids?
673
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,844
Anyone? Where are you?
674
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:04,934
There he is, my Homer.
675
00:44:06,936 --> 00:44:08,896
I'm sorry about everything.
676
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,815
Shh. It's okay.
677
00:44:10,898 --> 00:44:14,485
I know all you wanted was
a fun couples night out,
678
00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:16,779
and I couldn't even really be there.
679
00:44:16,863 --> 00:44:18,447
Oh, you were there.
680
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:22,577
You're the bravest,
smartest, happiest Homer for me.
681
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:23,703
You're perfect.