1
00:00:04,752 --> 00:00:06,344
Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily

2
00:00:42,992 --> 00:00:44,266
Here's your toast, Maggie.

3
00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:46,986
I Melba-fied it myself.

4
00:00:48,592 --> 00:00:52,187
Oh, Lisa. Honey, I tracked down those
old newspapers for your history project.

5
00:00:53,632 --> 00:00:56,385
- You didn't have to go to the trouble.
- It was no trouble.

6
00:00:56,552 --> 00:00:58,508
The hobos at the dump
were very helpful.

7
00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:01,789
Except one man who seemed to have
mental problems.

8
00:01:01,952 --> 00:01:03,863
- Good morning.
- Bart, it's class-photo day.

9
00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:05,511
No Dracula fangs.

10
00:01:05,672 --> 00:01:08,903
- But they told us to wear them.
- No, they didn't.

11
00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:12,944
And don't put signs on your sister.

12
00:01:15,872 --> 00:01:19,228
Now, keep the lettuce separate
until 11:30.

13
00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:23,226
That way, the lettuce stays moist
and the bread stays dry.

14
00:01:24,072 --> 00:01:26,461
Mom, you fuss over us way too much.

15
00:01:26,632 --> 00:01:30,420
Enjoy it now. When you're a grownup,
you'll have to take care of yourself.

16
00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:34,267
Marge, there's a spider
near my car key.

17
00:01:34,432 --> 00:01:37,424
You did the right thing by telling me.

18
00:01:37,592 --> 00:01:40,060
Shoo. Get out of here.

19
00:01:40,912 --> 00:01:42,664
That's better.
Now that we're alone...

20
00:01:42,832 --> 00:01:46,950
...Papa Bear has a little honey
for his Mama Bear.

21
00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:52,705
"Good for a three-hour getaway
at the Mingled Waters Health Spa.

22
00:01:52,912 --> 00:01:56,427
Mineral bath, facial massage."
How did you afford these?

23
00:01:56,592 --> 00:01:58,981
Oh, never you mind.

24
00:02:03,552 --> 00:02:07,943
What advantages does this motorcar
have over, say, a train?

25
00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:09,591
Which I could also afford.

26
00:02:09,752 --> 00:02:14,382
Well, you'll notice how the heated
gas pedal warms your feet while...

27
00:02:15,712 --> 00:02:17,304
- gently massages your buttocks.

28
00:02:17,472 --> 00:02:19,622
Well, Count Homer,
shall we discuss the...?

29
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:21,066
No, we shan't.

30
00:02:23,992 --> 00:02:25,903
Homie, this is so sweet.

31
00:02:26,072 --> 00:02:28,905
But I can't possibly go now.
The sink is full of dirty dishes.

32
00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:31,791
The trash needs to be taken out,
the living room is a mess.

33
00:02:31,992 --> 00:02:33,471
We'll clean up this afternoon.

34
00:02:33,632 --> 00:02:36,100
- What about Maggie?
- I got my dad to look after her.

35
00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:37,864
Behind you.

36
00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,624
Don't do that!

37
00:02:40,512 --> 00:02:41,501
Don't do that!

38
00:02:41,672 --> 00:02:45,347
Come on, honey. You work yourself
stupid for this family.

39
00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:48,788
If anyone deserves to be wrapped up
in seaweed and buried in mud...

40
00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:50,988
...it's you.

41
00:02:51,152 --> 00:02:54,781
Well, all right. But I'm taking some
of the ironing with me in the car...

42
00:02:58,392 --> 00:03:01,350
Tighten those braids, Missy.
Hoist your flag, Dooley.

43
00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:03,821
Nelson, you look adorable.

44
00:03:03,992 --> 00:03:06,142
I feel like punching myself.

45
00:03:06,312 --> 00:03:08,621
Bart, stop scratching.
You're messing up your hair.

46
00:03:10,032 --> 00:03:14,708
Lice? How on earth does a boy
get head lice in this day and age?

47
00:03:15,392 --> 00:03:17,508
We bought a wicker basket
from Trader Pete...

48
00:03:17,672 --> 00:03:19,583
...and he was passed out inside.

49
00:03:22,592 --> 00:03:26,585
Hey, how come I get lice
and nothing happens to Milhouse?

50
00:03:26,752 --> 00:03:30,825
So cold. So very, very cold.

51
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:36,671
See you in hell,
you wingless bloodsuckers.

52
00:03:39,432 --> 00:03:42,708
What kind of parents would permit
such a lapse in scalpal hygiene?

53
00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:44,703
Well, you'd better check out his sister.

54
00:03:44,872 --> 00:03:47,511
She could be rife
with them bugs too.

55
00:03:47,672 --> 00:03:49,788
- Keep away.
- You can't catch us.

56
00:03:50,512 --> 00:03:51,786
Hey, come on.

57
00:03:51,952 --> 00:03:54,102
Those are prescription shoes.
I need them.

58
00:03:54,272 --> 00:03:58,231
You have cooties
You have cooties

59
00:03:58,432 --> 00:03:59,751
- No, I don't.
- Lisa Simpson...

60
00:03:59,912 --> 00:04:03,985
...report to the principal's office
for head-lice inspection.

61
00:04:04,352 --> 00:04:05,910
You have lice!

62
00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:09,030
My tongue.

63
00:04:09,192 --> 00:04:10,830
Heads up.

64
00:04:13,872 --> 00:04:16,102
Principal Skinner, I need some shoes.

65
00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:17,586
Sweet Georgia Brown.

66
00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:20,141
Something is rotten
at the Simpson house.

67
00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:33,222
This is so relaxing.

68
00:04:33,392 --> 00:04:38,307
- Homie, this was a wonderful idea.
- Yeah.

69
00:04:38,472 --> 00:04:41,987
If that Mafia guy weren't staring at us,
I'd take off my towel.

70
00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:46,464
Oh, don't mind me.
Look, I do it first.

71
00:04:50,192 --> 00:04:51,944
Would you look at this place?

72
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:54,342
Sink full of dirty dishes,
trash not taken out...

73
00:04:54,512 --> 00:04:56,787
...living room a mess,
stacks of old newspapers.

74
00:04:58,392 --> 00:04:59,825
From 20 years ago!

75
00:04:59,992 --> 00:05:04,270
Get ready, gamblers,
for the World Series of Dog Racing.

76
00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,268
What the...?

77
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:12,382
A disheveled and malnourished man
found sleeping in his own filth.

78
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:14,463
Seems confused and dehydrated.

79
00:05:14,632 --> 00:05:16,782
- Where's the baby?
- Well, that's her, ain't it?

80
00:05:18,792 --> 00:05:20,145
Kids love that water.

81
00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:24,465
- Oh, my Lord.
- Stupid babies need the most attention.

82
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:27,789
All is well. All is well.

83
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,420
Turn tape over.

84
00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:38,670
All is well. All is well.

85
00:05:44,232 --> 00:05:48,544
- Children, where are your parents?
- I don't know. They should be here.

86
00:05:48,712 --> 00:05:51,863
Yes, they should be here.

87
00:05:52,032 --> 00:05:55,627
Those parents better have
a good excuse.

88
00:05:55,832 --> 00:05:58,630
I love getting away
from this dump.

89
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:02,182
It's like I'm on some wonderful drug.

90
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,467
- What's going on here?
- Child Welfare, ma'am.

91
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,429
Here's a little bedtime reading.

92
00:06:09,192 --> 00:06:11,103
"Squalid hellhole"?

93
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:14,389
"Toilet paper hung in improper
overhand fashion"?

94
00:06:14,552 --> 00:06:17,544
"Dogs mating on dining-room table"?

95
00:06:19,152 --> 00:06:22,303
- What are you doing with my children?
- We're taking them.

96
00:06:22,472 --> 00:06:24,064
What? No.

97
00:06:24,272 --> 00:06:26,388
You can't. I won't let you.

98
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,022
Mrs. Simpson, restrain yourself
or you'll be arrested.

99
00:06:36,632 --> 00:06:40,864
Now, just relax, kids.
All we're doing is taking you to...

100
00:06:41,072 --> 00:06:43,666
...a foster home.

101
00:06:49,272 --> 00:06:52,628
Hey-dilly-ho. Welcome to
your new home, neglect-areenos.

102
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,908
Kids, meet your new foster family.

103
00:06:57,072 --> 00:06:59,825
- We love you.
- We love you.

104
00:07:00,472 --> 00:07:02,508
Please don't hug me. It sickens me.

105
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:06,028
I don't judge Homer and Marge.
That's for a vengeful God to do.

106
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:09,548
We wanna give you kids a good home
until they get their act together.

107
00:07:09,712 --> 00:07:13,421
You don't understand.
Mom and Dad take good care of us.

108
00:07:13,712 --> 00:07:15,430
That was a baby tooth.

109
00:07:16,672 --> 00:07:18,025
It was loose.

110
00:07:18,232 --> 00:07:19,551
Don't you worry, little girl.

111
00:07:19,712 --> 00:07:21,942
We'll get you some nice
county dentures.

112
00:07:28,592 --> 00:07:30,822
"Parents are not to communicate
with children...

113
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,506
...and must stay at least
100 feet away at all times."

114
00:07:33,672 --> 00:07:37,142
We leave you the kids for three hours
and the county takes them away?

115
00:07:37,312 --> 00:07:40,509
Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch.

116
00:07:40,872 --> 00:07:44,262
I can't believe I put my own pleasure
ahead of my home and family.

117
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:46,024
That is so like me.

118
00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:49,867
Oh, Marge, don't blame yourself.
I'm the terrible parent.

119
00:07:50,032 --> 00:07:53,388
The boy bugs the hell out of me,
I can't help Lisa with her homework.

120
00:07:53,552 --> 00:07:57,147
The only thing I'm fit to take care of
is a houseplant.

121
00:07:57,312 --> 00:07:59,030
Lousy houseplant!

122
00:07:59,192 --> 00:08:02,787
You son of a...!
I'll teach you to...!

123
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:14,268
Go with it.

124
00:08:14,632 --> 00:08:17,021
Here you go, Todd,
the city edition.

125
00:08:19,192 --> 00:08:21,023
I don't know if this should be an extra.

126
00:08:21,192 --> 00:08:23,626
Is your source on this reliable?

127
00:08:23,792 --> 00:08:25,384
Oh, I hate this place.

128
00:08:25,552 --> 00:08:27,031
Yeah, it seems like our house...

129
00:08:27,192 --> 00:08:30,070
...but everything's got a creepy
Pat Boone-ish quality to it.

130
00:08:30,272 --> 00:08:32,661
Hey, kids, nachos, Flanders-style.

131
00:08:32,832 --> 00:08:35,346
That's cucumbers
with cottage cheese.

132
00:08:38,792 --> 00:08:41,181
Oh, Bart, I know you're still
getting adjusted here.

133
00:08:41,352 --> 00:08:44,788
Tell you what, we'll do
whatever you wanna do.

134
00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:46,180
Watch Itchy & Scratchy.

135
00:08:46,352 --> 00:08:48,912
Well, I guess a little television
won't hurt.

136
00:08:49,072 --> 00:08:51,108
I used to let the boys watch
My Three Sons...

137
00:08:51,272 --> 00:08:53,069
...but it got them all worked up.

138
00:09:23,672 --> 00:09:26,744
Why? Why?

139
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:29,871
My only son.

140
00:09:37,712 --> 00:09:41,227
Daddy, what's the red stuff
coming out of kitty's ears?

141
00:09:41,392 --> 00:09:43,826
That's just raspberry jam.

142
00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:47,143
Dad, should I poke Rod
with a sharp thing like the mouse did?

143
00:09:47,312 --> 00:09:50,543
No, son. No sirree, Bob.

144
00:09:53,672 --> 00:09:56,106
- Can you see them?
- I can see Lisa...

145
00:09:56,272 --> 00:09:57,705
...but it might be a starfish.

146
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,988
I gotta call them.

147
00:10:02,072 --> 00:10:05,781
The number you have dialed can
no longer be reached from this phone...

148
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:08,830
...you negligent monster.

149
00:10:08,992 --> 00:10:13,463
That's it. We're going downtown
to get our kids back, right now.

150
00:10:15,232 --> 00:10:16,950
We've always tried to be
good parents.

151
00:10:17,112 --> 00:10:20,070
Please, I'm begging you,
one mother to another.

152
00:10:20,232 --> 00:10:21,790
You must have a family.

153
00:10:21,952 --> 00:10:24,864
- No, I don't care for children.
- Now, wait a minute.

154
00:10:25,032 --> 00:10:28,024
Okay, I'm not gonna win
Father of the Year.

155
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:32,071
In fact, I'm probably the last guy
in the world who should have kids.

156
00:10:33,712 --> 00:10:35,111
Wait. Wait, can I start again?

157
00:10:35,272 --> 00:10:37,342
Fathering children is
the best part of my day.

158
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,343
I'd do anything for Bart and Lisa.

159
00:10:39,512 --> 00:10:42,390
- And Margaret?
- Who? Lady, you got the wrong file.

160
00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:45,624
- It's Maggie.
- Oh, her. I got nothing against Maggie.

161
00:10:45,832 --> 00:10:48,300
I can see you sincerely want
your children back.

162
00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:51,430
But you have a lot to learn
about being parents.

163
00:10:51,592 --> 00:10:53,071
Before I return your children...

164
00:10:53,232 --> 00:10:55,826
...you have to complete
a course called "Family Skills."

165
00:10:55,992 --> 00:10:59,268
- It teaches parents to listen to their...
- Communication, gotcha.

166
00:10:59,432 --> 00:11:00,945
- It's important to...
- Listen, yes.

167
00:11:01,112 --> 00:11:02,943
- But there's...
- I have listening skills.

168
00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:05,501
- Mr. Simpson, would you please...
- Shut up, judge!

169
00:11:05,672 --> 00:11:07,503
Peekaboo. I see you.

170
00:11:09,072 --> 00:11:10,790
Peekaboo. I see you.

171
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,988
I've never heard Maggie
laugh like that before.

172
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,905
When was the last time
Dad gave her that kind of attention?

173
00:11:18,072 --> 00:11:20,347
When she swallowed that quarter.

174
00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:23,584
I thought I could ride this out,
but everything's just too weird.

175
00:11:23,752 --> 00:11:26,630
I know. They put honey on pancakes
instead of maple syrup.

176
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,703
And they read Newsweek
instead of nothing.

177
00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:30,146
Come on, you gloomy Guses.

178
00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:32,667
Who's up for a big bowl
of nonfat ice milk?

179
00:11:32,832 --> 00:11:35,585
- I want wintergreen.
- Unflavored for me.

180
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:43,269
And then I saw my boy in a burlap sack
and they told me he had lice.

181
00:11:43,472 --> 00:11:45,861
- Is this story going somewhere?
- Easy there, Flub.

182
00:11:46,032 --> 00:11:47,590
We're all gonna get a chance.

183
00:11:47,752 --> 00:11:49,549
Mrs. Skinner, why are you here?

184
00:11:49,712 --> 00:11:52,829
The county is threatening
to take my Seymour away.

185
00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:56,507
Oh, we had another fight
over the inflatable bath pillow.

186
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,584
I kept screeching
and screeching at him, but...

187
00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:03,705
All right. Who knows how the Skinners
could have resolved this problem?

188
00:12:04,232 --> 00:12:06,621
Without resorting to violence.

189
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,828
Or childish name-calling.

190
00:12:08,992 --> 00:12:11,187
Anybody? Okay, that's okay.

191
00:12:11,352 --> 00:12:14,708
Because making a happy home
isn't like flipping on a light switch.

192
00:12:14,872 --> 00:12:16,351
Light switch?

193
00:12:16,512 --> 00:12:19,231
There are a lot of little tricks
you should've learned.

194
00:12:19,392 --> 00:12:23,385
Such as: If you leave milk out,
it can go sour.

195
00:12:23,552 --> 00:12:28,342
Put it in the refrigerator or,
failing that, a cool, wet sack.

196
00:12:29,232 --> 00:12:31,507
And put your garbage
in a garbage can, people.

197
00:12:31,672 --> 00:12:34,630
I can't stress that enough.
Don't just throw it out the window.

198
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:37,181
This is so humiliating.

199
00:12:37,352 --> 00:12:40,424
"Garbage in garbage can."
Makes sense.

200
00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:43,501
Nighty-night, my sweet little
foundling-a-dings.

201
00:12:43,672 --> 00:12:44,946
But it's only 7:00.

202
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:47,751
Yeah, the sun is still out.

203
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:57,342
They say your folks can’t pay the rent

204
00:12:57,512 --> 00:13:01,061
So we're watching you
By act of government

205
00:13:01,232 --> 00:13:04,224
Well, I don’t know
If the allegations are true

206
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,941
But you got us
And, baby, we got you

207
00:13:08,392 --> 00:13:12,510
Babe
We got you, babe

208
00:13:12,672 --> 00:13:15,311
You know, Maggie hasn't been
a Simpson as long as us.

209
00:13:15,472 --> 00:13:17,827
I think she's beginning
to forget Mom and Dad.

210
00:13:18,192 --> 00:13:21,787
Remember how Mom used to microwave
our underwear on cold days?

211
00:13:21,952 --> 00:13:26,264
Or the way Dad used to call
the radio station with fake traffic tips.

212
00:13:29,872 --> 00:13:32,511
They're 10 feet away
and we can't even talk to them.

213
00:13:32,672 --> 00:13:35,664
I wish I could tell them
how much I miss them.

214
00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:46,150
It's so quiet here without the kids.

215
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:50,351
What I wouldn't give to hear Lisa
play another one of her jazzy tunes.

216
00:13:50,552 --> 00:13:52,941
Saxa-ma-phone

217
00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,706
Saxa-ma-phone

218
00:13:56,432 --> 00:14:00,744
And I miss the way Bart would
say something and then say "dude."

219
00:14:00,912 --> 00:14:03,904
I wish I knew something
about the baby I could miss now.

220
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:05,983
- You mean Maggie?
- That's it.

221
00:14:06,152 --> 00:14:08,791
We've never been separated
from the kids for so long.

222
00:14:08,952 --> 00:14:11,705
I don't know how much more
I can take.

223
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,983
- That's Bart's ring!
- That's Bart's ring!

224
00:14:25,112 --> 00:14:26,625
"Todd smells."

225
00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:29,545
- Oh, I already knew that.
- Look at the other side.

226
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,943
Let's see if we've learned anything.

227
00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:44,787
I want you two to simulate
a typical household problem. Go.

228
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:48,262
Pa, I cut myself on
the screen door again.

229
00:14:48,432 --> 00:14:51,185
Why, you cotton-picking...

230
00:14:57,752 --> 00:15:00,585
No, I gotta pass this class
for my kids.

231
00:15:00,752 --> 00:15:03,983
Son, let's stop the fussing
and a-feuding.

232
00:15:04,152 --> 00:15:05,824
I love you, Pa.

233
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,630
I love you, Cletus.

234
00:15:14,552 --> 00:15:16,429
Well, children, it's Saturday night.

235
00:15:16,592 --> 00:15:19,026
What say we let our hair down
and play Bombardment...

236
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:21,951
...of Bible Questions.

237
00:15:23,392 --> 00:15:25,269
- Which version shall it be?
- St. James.

238
00:15:25,432 --> 00:15:26,945
The Vulgate of St. Jerome.

239
00:15:28,272 --> 00:15:30,149
Vulgate it is.

240
00:15:30,352 --> 00:15:34,823
For one gold star, what Persian king
exempted the Levites from taxation?

241
00:15:35,032 --> 00:15:36,784
- Artaxerxes.
- Righty-o.

242
00:15:45,192 --> 00:15:47,183
- Well?
- I know!

243
00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:49,820
No, son, we gotta let
Bart and Lisa get one.

244
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,584
Come on, this one's easy.

245
00:15:53,432 --> 00:15:55,070
- We give up.
- Well, guess.

246
00:15:55,232 --> 00:15:57,427
Book of Revelations.
Fire-breathing lion's head.

247
00:15:57,592 --> 00:15:59,822
Tail made out of snakes.
Who else is it gonna be?

248
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:04,267
- Jesus?
- Je...? Jes...?

249
00:16:04,472 --> 00:16:07,828
Don't you kids know anything?
The Serpent of Rehoboam?

250
00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:09,909
The Well of Zohassadar?

251
00:16:10,112 --> 00:16:11,909
The bridal feast
of Beth Chedruharazzeb?

252
00:16:12,952 --> 00:16:16,627
Why, that's the kind of thing
you should start learning at baptism.

253
00:16:16,872 --> 00:16:19,989
Actually, you see,
we were never baptized.

254
00:16:23,312 --> 00:16:24,745
Oh, Neddie.

255
00:16:24,952 --> 00:16:27,512
Neddie. Neddie!

256
00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:31,987
No, that ain't gonna do it.

257
00:16:32,552 --> 00:16:35,225
I'm proud. You've learned how
to care for your children...

258
00:16:35,392 --> 00:16:38,589
...how to maintain your homes,
and you've all passed the drug test.

259
00:16:38,752 --> 00:16:41,903
Except for Marge. Marge, you tested
positive for crack and PCP.

260
00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:43,431
Oh, my.

261
00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:46,664
Okay, the retest says you're clean.

262
00:16:46,832 --> 00:16:52,509
The only thing I'm high on is love,
love for my son and daughters.

263
00:16:52,672 --> 00:16:55,823
Yes, a little LSD is all I need.

264
00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:58,142
All right. Sounds very good.

265
00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:05,390
Jeepers H. Crackers.
I'd better call the reverend.

266
00:17:08,272 --> 00:17:10,308
Ned Flanders is on the phone.

267
00:17:10,752 --> 00:17:12,390
Hello, Ned.

268
00:17:12,552 --> 00:17:18,787
Reverend. Emergency. Simpson kids.
Iddily. Baptism. Ooddily. Doodily-diddly!

269
00:17:18,952 --> 00:17:22,069
Ned, have you thought about
one of the other major religions?

270
00:17:22,232 --> 00:17:24,462
They're all pretty much the same.

271
00:17:27,472 --> 00:17:28,746
Damn Flanders.

272
00:17:30,072 --> 00:17:32,984
Looks like I'm gonna
have to baptize you myself.

273
00:17:38,672 --> 00:17:42,950
Kids, we're good parents now.
Get your asses out here!

274
00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:44,386
We missed you so much.

275
00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:50,382
He's going to baptize our children?

276
00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:54,750
Oh, no. In the eyes of God,
they'll be Flanderses.

277
00:17:54,952 --> 00:17:57,591
I never thought Homer and Marge
were bad parents...

278
00:17:57,752 --> 00:18:00,789
...but now I know you kids need
a less hell-bound family.

279
00:18:00,952 --> 00:18:05,343
Just sit back, and before you know it,
you'll be part of the Flanders flock.

280
00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:08,623
You're gonna be Lisa Flanders.

281
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:10,862
You're gonna be Bart Flanders.

282
00:18:11,032 --> 00:18:14,229
Oh, relax, Bart.
Your sister Maggie isn't scared.

283
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:16,986
That's because she can't talk.

284
00:18:18,392 --> 00:18:20,030
Daddily doodily.

285
00:18:23,392 --> 00:18:24,905
Where are we going?

286
00:18:25,112 --> 00:18:26,386
Okay, okay. Don't panic.

287
00:18:26,552 --> 00:18:29,828
To find Flanders,
I just have to think like Flanders.

288
00:18:29,992 --> 00:18:31,311
I'm a big four-eyed lame-o.

289
00:18:31,472 --> 00:18:34,032
And I wear the same stupid sweater
every day and...

290
00:18:34,192 --> 00:18:35,910
The Springfield River!

291
00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:52,901
Today we write a new page
in the Flanders family Bible.

292
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:58,823
Who wants to be the first
to enter God's good graces?

293
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,791
Easy. Easy.

294
00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:07,140
Oh, why do you hate my trains?

295
00:19:23,472 --> 00:19:25,064
Son of a...

296
00:19:27,832 --> 00:19:30,869
Do you reject Satan
and all his empty promises?

297
00:19:31,032 --> 00:19:33,626
No!

298
00:19:52,552 --> 00:19:55,749
Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me.
How do you feel?

299
00:19:55,912 --> 00:19:58,949
Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like
St. Augustine of Hippo...

300
00:19:59,112 --> 00:20:01,831
...after his conversion
by Ambrose of Milan.

301
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,823
Wait, Homer, what did you just say?

302
00:20:03,992 --> 00:20:07,189
- I said, shut your ugly face, Flanders!
- Oh, fair enough.

303
00:20:07,392 --> 00:20:09,383
Oh, there's my sweet little Maggie.

304
00:20:32,112 --> 00:20:35,627
Oh, Maggie, you're a Simpson again.

305
00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:45,349
What was it like
at the Flanders' house?

306
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:49,346
- Yeah, give me all the dirt.
- Let's see, dirt. Dirt...

307
00:20:49,512 --> 00:20:50,945
There wasn't really much dirt.

308
00:20:51,112 --> 00:20:54,468
There was a bunch of old paint cans
in their garage, though.

309
00:20:55,912 --> 00:20:58,665
Old Painty-Can Ned.

310
00:20:59,712 --> 00:21:02,351
I always knew he'd keep his
old cans of paint.

311
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,070
Yeah.

312
00:21:05,232 --> 00:21:07,188
How do you like that?

313
00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:50,863
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

314
00:21:51,032 --> 00:21:53,023
[ENGLISH]