1
00:00:05,307 --> 00:00:06,581
Homer the Smithers

2
00:00:25,107 --> 00:00:26,540
Testing. Testing for Mr. Burns.

3
00:00:28,427 --> 00:00:29,826
I've warmed up the crowd, sir.

4
00:00:29,987 --> 00:00:32,137
Welcome, employees.

5
00:00:32,347 --> 00:00:34,338
Come in.

6
00:00:34,507 --> 00:00:36,657
The whole night's
entertainment is on me...

7
00:00:38,587 --> 00:00:40,145
...Monty Burns!

8
00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:44,346
Welcome, welcome, welcome...

9
00:00:44,547 --> 00:00:47,823
...to an evening of exciting
quarter-mile action, action, action.

10
00:00:47,987 --> 00:00:52,105
Our first race is a benefit for daredevil
Lance Murdock, Murdock, Murdock...

11
00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:57,102
...who is hospitalized
with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver.

12
00:00:57,627 --> 00:00:58,901
All right! Liver!

13
00:01:01,267 --> 00:01:04,259
Boy, it sure would be fun to carpool
in one of those, huh, kids?

14
00:01:04,427 --> 00:01:06,304
I'd be a real hotrod mama, wouldn't I?

15
00:01:07,827 --> 00:01:09,146
You missed the race, Mama.

16
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:12,100
I wish I'd pay more attention.

17
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,023
Smithers, this beer isn't working.

18
00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:19,257
I don't feel any younger or funkier.

19
00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,019
I'll switch to the tablespoon, sir.

20
00:01:21,187 --> 00:01:24,816
Coming up next, our feature race,
the Nuclear Power Plant Championship.

21
00:01:24,987 --> 00:01:26,261
Plant, plant.

22
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:30,585
Ah, at last!
Smithers, fetch the "bioculars."

23
00:01:33,987 --> 00:01:35,784
Damnation! Tell them to go slower.

24
00:01:35,947 --> 00:01:37,346
Yes, sir.

25
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:42,495
Hi, guys. Could we keep it in first gear
for a couple laps?

26
00:01:47,747 --> 00:01:49,419
Go! Go!

27
00:01:50,547 --> 00:01:51,946
Slow down.

28
00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:57,263
Excellent.

29
00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:06,785
Oh, this novelty foam hand
is ludicrously oversized.

30
00:02:06,947 --> 00:02:08,300
Go swap it for a smaller one.

31
00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:10,105
It is a bit ostentatious, sir.

32
00:02:10,267 --> 00:02:12,223
I'll be right back.

33
00:02:14,307 --> 00:02:15,581
Hey, Burnsy!

34
00:02:15,747 --> 00:02:18,545
This was some swell shindig.
Thank you very much.

35
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,977
- Smithers, what's happening?
- I had a great time.

36
00:02:21,147 --> 00:02:23,900
I just want to shake your hand.

37
00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:28,217
- You're the greatest.
- Smithers, help!

38
00:02:28,427 --> 00:02:30,418
It's not as funny to me,
but what do I know?

39
00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:32,100
Smithers!

40
00:02:32,707 --> 00:02:34,220
Oh, my God!

41
00:02:41,747 --> 00:02:44,659
You should have seen the
murderous glint in his eyes, Smithers.

42
00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:48,217
And his breath reeked of beer
and pretzeled bread.

43
00:02:48,427 --> 00:02:50,702
I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns.
This was all my fault.

44
00:02:50,907 --> 00:02:52,226
Don't concern yourself.

45
00:02:52,387 --> 00:02:55,140
If things had turned ugly,
I always had my mace.

46
00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,377
Don't let me off the hook
that easily, sir.

47
00:02:57,587 --> 00:02:59,896
I failed you,
and I'll never forgive myself.

48
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:02,706
Never, never, never...

49
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,537
Never, never, never.

50
00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:12,976
Good morning, sir.

51
00:03:13,147 --> 00:03:16,264
To make up for my failure last night,
I alphabetized your breakfast.

52
00:03:16,427 --> 00:03:19,146
Start with the waffles
and work your way up to the zwieback.

53
00:03:19,307 --> 00:03:21,298
And to prevent newsprint
from rubbing off...

54
00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,105
...I've laminated today's newspaper.

55
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:25,986
I appreciate the thought,
but my pen won't write on this.

56
00:03:26,147 --> 00:03:28,707
How am I supposed to do
the "Junior Jumble"?

57
00:03:29,787 --> 00:03:32,062
Oh, I can't even grovel properly!

58
00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:33,501
I'm a buffoon!

59
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:37,546
I don't deserve to live
on your planet anymore!

60
00:03:43,387 --> 00:03:45,139
Pull yourself together, man.

61
00:03:45,347 --> 00:03:47,099
You're in need of a long vacation.

62
00:03:47,307 --> 00:03:49,025
No, don't make me take a vacation.

63
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,303
Without you I'll wither and die!

64
00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:53,065
It's a risk I'm willing to take.

65
00:03:53,227 --> 00:03:54,865
What would you do without me, sir?

66
00:03:55,547 --> 00:03:59,017
I'm not a baby who needs
a nursemaid to burp me.

67
00:03:59,227 --> 00:04:01,695
You see?
Now, I insist you take a vacation...

68
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:05,422
...just as soon as
a temporary substitute can be found.

69
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,020
I've got to find a replacement
who won't outshine me.

70
00:04:13,227 --> 00:04:16,185
Perhaps if I search the employee
evaluations for the word...

71
00:04:16,347 --> 00:04:17,985
..."incompetent."

72
00:04:18,707 --> 00:04:20,026
Seven hundred fourteen names!

73
00:04:20,587 --> 00:04:21,861
I better be more specific.

74
00:04:22,027 --> 00:04:23,301
"Lazy"...

75
00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:25,025
..."clumsy"...

76
00:04:25,187 --> 00:04:26,745
..."dimwitted"...

77
00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:28,818
..."monstrously ugly."

78
00:04:31,427 --> 00:04:32,860
I'll just go get Homer Simpson.

79
00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:36,939
I think Smithers picked me
because of my motivational skills.

80
00:04:37,107 --> 00:04:40,019
Everyone says they have to work
a lot harder when I'm around.

81
00:04:40,227 --> 00:04:43,537
Dad, assisting Mr. Burns could give
your career a real shot in the arm.

82
00:04:43,747 --> 00:04:47,535
Homer, assisting Mr. Burns could give
your career a real shot in the arm.

83
00:04:47,707 --> 00:04:49,186
Mom, I just said that.

84
00:04:49,347 --> 00:04:50,939
Sorry.

85
00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:53,177
Next time get your own darn corn.

86
00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:55,378
Is this the chair I'll be sitting on?

87
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:59,102
Yeah. Now, I realize caring for Mr. Burns
seems like a big job...

88
00:04:59,307 --> 00:05:01,263
...but actually it's just
2800 small jobs.

89
00:05:01,787 --> 00:05:03,106
But this is the chair, right?

90
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:05,821
Your duties will include answering
Mr. Burns' phone...

91
00:05:05,987 --> 00:05:08,217
...preparing his taxes,
moistening his eyeballs...

92
00:05:08,387 --> 00:05:09,979
...helping him chew and swallow...

93
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:12,377
...lying to Congress,
and some light typing.

94
00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:13,940
Montgomery Burns' office.

95
00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:15,381
Oh, hello, Mrs. Burns.

96
00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,139
I'll see if your son is available.

97
00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:18,740
Mr. Burns has a mother?

98
00:05:18,907 --> 00:05:20,704
She must be
a hundred million years old.

99
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:22,141
She has limited capacities.

100
00:05:22,307 --> 00:05:24,457
All she can do is dial and yell.

101
00:05:24,627 --> 00:05:27,187
I'm sorry. Monty can't come
to the phone right now.

102
00:05:27,347 --> 00:05:30,544
He's in a very important meeting
and can't be disturbed.

103
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,737
Okay, I'll give him the message.

104
00:05:37,907 --> 00:05:39,898
Mr. Burns can't stand
talking to his mother.

105
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:43,855
He never forgave her for having
that affair with President Taft.

106
00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:46,377
Taft, you old dog!

107
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:51,660
Really, Smithers, I'll be fine.

108
00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:54,546
I'm sure your replacement
will be able to handle everything.

109
00:05:54,707 --> 00:05:57,096
- Who is he, anyway?
- Homer Simpson, sir.

110
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,184
One of your organ banks
from Sector 7G.

111
00:05:59,747 --> 00:06:03,342
All the recent events of your life
have revolved around him in some way.

112
00:06:03,507 --> 00:06:05,259
Simpson, eh?

113
00:06:06,307 --> 00:06:07,820
Mr. Smithers.

114
00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:10,461
I don't understand
2700 of my duties.

115
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,625
The van's leaving. Which duty
is giving you the most trouble?

116
00:06:15,387 --> 00:06:17,264
What do I do in case of fire?

117
00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:19,423
Sorry, can't hear you. Bye.

118
00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:28,342
Just my luck.

119
00:06:35,907 --> 00:06:39,616
Good Lord, Smithers, you look atrocious.
I thought I told you to take a vacation.

120
00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:43,422
Smithers already left, sir.
I am his replacement, Homer Simpson.

121
00:06:43,627 --> 00:06:45,026
Ah, yes, Simpson.

122
00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:46,501
I'll have my lunch now.

123
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:51,024
A single pillow of Shredded Wheat,
some steamed toast and a dodo egg.

124
00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:53,138
- I think the dodo went extinct.
- Get going!

125
00:06:53,307 --> 00:06:55,423
Answer the phones,
install a computer system...

126
00:06:55,587 --> 00:06:58,545
...and rotate my office
so the window faces the hills.

127
00:06:59,147 --> 00:07:00,978
Okay.

128
00:07:01,307 --> 00:07:06,461
Can you repeat the part of the stuff
where you said all about the things?

129
00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:09,218
The things?

130
00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,418
Lousy two-legged pants.

131
00:07:22,627 --> 00:07:25,380
Homie, it's 4:30 in the morning.

132
00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:28,459
- Little Rascals isn't on till 6:00.
- I know. I'm taping it.

133
00:07:28,627 --> 00:07:31,460
I want to get to Mr. Burns' house early
to make his breakfast.

134
00:07:31,627 --> 00:07:32,901
Poor Homie.

135
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,865
Poor, poor...

136
00:07:44,627 --> 00:07:47,266
One of these must be
a breakfast maker.

137
00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:49,895
Well, it's my job
to cook him breakfast...

138
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:53,662
...and I'm gonna cook
the best damn breakfast he ever ate!

139
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:17,943
Doughnuts?
I told you, I don't like ethnic food.

140
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:20,337
Here. Tell me how my stocks
did yesterday.

141
00:08:23,347 --> 00:08:25,622
- They all won.
- What about my options?

142
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:27,465
You can get up
or go back to sleep.

143
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,225
I believe I'll get up.

144
00:08:30,387 --> 00:08:33,936
Scrub harder.
Got to get that layer of dead skin off.

145
00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:38,181
I think...

146
00:08:38,347 --> 00:08:40,861
...the fangs today.

147
00:08:46,587 --> 00:08:47,576
Simpson?

148
00:08:47,747 --> 00:08:49,544
Simpson?

149
00:08:51,107 --> 00:08:53,337
You get that report
on the Accounting Department?

150
00:08:53,507 --> 00:08:54,542
Yes, sir, I did.

151
00:08:54,707 --> 00:08:57,301
The Accounting Department
is located on the third floor.

152
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,219
Its hours are 9:00 a.m. To 5:00 p.m.

153
00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:03,824
The head of this department is
a Mr. Johnson or Johnstone.

154
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:08,139
Here are your messages.
You have 30 minutes to move your car.

155
00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:09,581
You have 10 minutes.

156
00:09:09,747 --> 00:09:11,339
Your car has been impounded.

157
00:09:11,507 --> 00:09:13,862
Your car has been crushed
into a cube.

158
00:09:14,027 --> 00:09:16,461
You have 30 minutes
to move your cube.

159
00:09:16,627 --> 00:09:17,946
Hello. Mr. Burns' office.

160
00:09:18,107 --> 00:09:21,179
- Is it about my cube?
- It's Mr. Smithers. He's calling for you.

161
00:09:21,387 --> 00:09:23,423
How is everything going there, sir?

162
00:09:23,587 --> 00:09:25,976
Well, I have a lot of free time
on my hands.

163
00:09:26,147 --> 00:09:28,581
If you FedEx me your mail,
I'll open and return it.

164
00:09:28,787 --> 00:09:30,505
Everything's fine, Smithers.

165
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,783
This Simpson fellow
gets dumber by the minute.

166
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,462
I've never seen anything quite like it.
Anyhoo, just enjoy your vacation.

167
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:44,224
Look alive, Simpson.
I'm not paying you to goldbrick.

168
00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:46,702
- Yes. Yes, sir.
- Get cracking on my long division.

169
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:49,939
- Show your work, Simpson.
- I'll have it on your desk, sir.

170
00:09:50,107 --> 00:09:51,586
Bart, leave Simpson alone.

171
00:09:51,747 --> 00:09:54,056
- Simpson, I need a ride to the library.
- Yes, sir.

172
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,866
Kids! Stop exploiting your father!

173
00:09:57,027 --> 00:09:58,585
Why don't you lie down and relax?

174
00:09:58,787 --> 00:10:02,575
No time, Marge. I think Mr. Burns
wants me to do some long division.

175
00:10:02,787 --> 00:10:04,186
Simpson, lie down!

176
00:10:04,387 --> 00:10:07,743
Sorry, but you need
a good night's rest.

177
00:10:09,147 --> 00:10:10,466
Simpson!

178
00:10:17,507 --> 00:10:20,021
The telephone has been ringing
for some time.

179
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,984
Answer it.

180
00:10:22,147 --> 00:10:23,421
Hello?

181
00:10:23,587 --> 00:10:24,986
It's for you.

182
00:10:26,107 --> 00:10:28,337
Mr. Burns, 48 rings,
are you all right?

183
00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:29,781
What did Simpson do to you?

184
00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:33,377
Nothing other than drive me to
distraction with his incompetent boobery.

185
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,742
Terrible at everything.
A complete moron!

186
00:10:35,907 --> 00:10:38,660
But I'm not really free
to talk right now.

187
00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:41,580
Now, look. Stop calling me
and start enjoying your vacation.

188
00:10:41,747 --> 00:10:44,705
Remember, I want to see
lots of pictures when you get back.

189
00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:48,661
Actually, sir, picture-taking is
not allowed at this particular resort.

190
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:51,944
I gotta go now.
There's a line forming behind me.

191
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,455
Sixty watts?

192
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,538
What do you think this is,
a tanning salon?

193
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:07,296
I asked for light starch
on my nightcap.

194
00:11:08,347 --> 00:11:09,860
You call this Postum?

195
00:11:10,427 --> 00:11:12,258
You call this a tax return?

196
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:14,423
You call this a supercomputer?

197
00:11:18,227 --> 00:11:22,186
You're a travesty
of a joke of an assistant.

198
00:11:39,507 --> 00:11:42,021
Is there something wrong, Homie?

199
00:11:42,187 --> 00:11:43,461
No.

200
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:46,227
- Except?
- Except...

201
00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:48,457
...I killed Mr. Burns!

202
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:49,941
What happened, Dad?

203
00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:52,302
I punched Burns right in his
104-year-old face!

204
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:55,027
Are you sure he's dead?
Maybe you just really hurt him.

205
00:11:55,187 --> 00:11:57,860
Okay, maybe everything is all right.

206
00:11:58,027 --> 00:12:01,178
Maybe if you go apologize,
he won't even fire you.

207
00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:02,666
If he's alive.

208
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,306
Mr. Burns?

209
00:12:17,747 --> 00:12:20,022
I'm really sorry I hit you, Mr. Burns.

210
00:12:20,187 --> 00:12:22,257
Here, let me put some salt
on that eye.

211
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,662
No, please.
I can't bear another thrashing.

212
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,819
- Just leave me be.
- Yes, sir.

213
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:31,738
Must call Smithers.

214
00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:33,625
He'll protect me from this beast.

215
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,585
I've seen people activate
this machine a thousand times.

216
00:12:36,747 --> 00:12:39,466
Doesn't seem to be any trick to it.
Let's see, Smithers...

217
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:43,216
S-M-l-T-H-E-R-S.

218
00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:45,705
Success! It's ringing!

219
00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:48,502
- Moe's Tavern.
- I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers.

220
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,259
First name, Waylon.

221
00:12:50,627 --> 00:12:54,506
Oh, so you're looking
for a Mr. Smithers, eh?

222
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,623
First name "Waylon," is it?

223
00:12:56,787 --> 00:12:58,505
Listen to me, you.
When I catch you...

224
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:01,784
...I'm gonna pull out your eyes
and shove them down your pants...

225
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,142
...so you can watch me kick
the crap out of you!

226
00:13:04,307 --> 00:13:06,867
Then I'm gonna use your tongue
to paint my boat!

227
00:13:10,307 --> 00:13:12,457
Oh, Smithers,
if only you could hear me.

228
00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:16,542
Something tells me
Mr. Burns needs me.

229
00:13:20,547 --> 00:13:23,664
Praise God, I think the thug has
finally gone home for the day.

230
00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:25,545
Now I can make my escape.

231
00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,225
Hi, Mr. Burns.
You want your coffee?

232
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:33,022
No. I'm making it myself.

233
00:13:33,227 --> 00:13:35,582
Hear that?
The percolations are imminent.

234
00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:37,226
No need to come in.

235
00:13:37,387 --> 00:13:39,981
Cease your ingress.

236
00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:46,259
Stay back, Homer.
Approach no further.

237
00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:48,577
The coffee is made.
I stomped the beans myself.

238
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,745
Well, can I at least drive you home,
Mr. Burns? It's 5:00.

239
00:13:51,947 --> 00:13:54,984
No. I thought... I thought I would
chauffeur myself this evening.

240
00:13:55,147 --> 00:13:56,500
Yes, that's what I thought.

241
00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:57,941
How difficult can it be?

242
00:13:58,107 --> 00:13:59,381
The manual will indicate...

243
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:03,335
...which lever is the "velocitator"
and which the "deceleratrix."

244
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,701
I can't believe it.

245
00:14:05,867 --> 00:14:08,540
All my life I've avoided
doing things for myself...

246
00:14:08,707 --> 00:14:10,299
...but I'm actually enjoying this.

247
00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:11,980
Plus, I'm making incredible time.

248
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,105
Beep, beep! Out of my way!

249
00:14:14,307 --> 00:14:15,945
I am a motorist.

250
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:19,376
That's some nice reckless driving,
Mr. B.

251
00:14:21,867 --> 00:14:24,256
Should I shred those
environmental reports for you, sir?

252
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:26,577
Already taken care of.

253
00:14:28,587 --> 00:14:30,225
Cappuccino, Simpson?

254
00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,461
Ahoy-hoy?

255
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:34,305
No, you have the wrong number.

256
00:14:34,467 --> 00:14:36,185
This is 5246.

257
00:14:36,347 --> 00:14:39,703
I suspect you need more practice
working your telephone machine.

258
00:14:39,907 --> 00:14:42,057
Not at all. Ahoy.

259
00:14:42,267 --> 00:14:44,656
Mr. Burns, is there anything at all
I can do for you?

260
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:48,416
No, Homer. You've already done
more for me than any man.

261
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:51,181
Your brutal attack forced me
to fend for myself.

262
00:14:51,347 --> 00:14:53,656
I realize now that being waited on
hand and foot...

263
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,738
...is okay for your average Joe...

264
00:14:55,907 --> 00:14:57,420
...but it's not for me.

265
00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:58,946
I want to thank you.

266
00:15:00,707 --> 00:15:04,177
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

267
00:15:04,387 --> 00:15:05,706
Oh, my God!

268
00:15:05,867 --> 00:15:07,300
I knew I shouldn't have left!

269
00:15:08,027 --> 00:15:09,301
Welcome back, Smithers.

270
00:15:09,507 --> 00:15:10,940
Say, do you know Homer Simpson?

271
00:15:11,107 --> 00:15:13,496
He pitched in around the office
while you were away.

272
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:16,898
Bang-up job, Simpson, but I guess
it's back to your post in Sector 7G.

273
00:15:18,907 --> 00:15:20,181
You heard the man, Simpson.

274
00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:23,457
And, my dear, dear Smithers...

275
00:15:23,627 --> 00:15:25,219
...you're no longer needed at all.

276
00:15:25,387 --> 00:15:27,218
You're fired. Ta-ta.

277
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:31,061
You shouldn't have
gone away on vacation.

278
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:41,341
Cheer up, Homie.

279
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,067
I just feel terrible about
getting Mr. Smithers fired.

280
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:45,706
That job was all he had.

281
00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:49,257
Imagine how you would feel, Marge,
if you got fired from the...

282
00:15:49,427 --> 00:15:52,260
Those things that you do.

283
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:54,697
Quick, Mom, whip up a cake
before Dad fires you.

284
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:57,665
Don't worry, Dad.
Mr. Smithers is a resilient man.

285
00:15:57,827 --> 00:16:00,978
I'm sure he can get a great job
at any corporation he wants.

286
00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:09,777
Meet your new piano mover.

287
00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:13,864
We're gonna have to put a steel rod
where your spine was.

288
00:16:14,027 --> 00:16:16,700
Will I ever move a piano again?

289
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,064
Oh, my goodness gracious, no.

290
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:22,543
Get ready for quarter-mile action
at the Springfield Dragstrip.

291
00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:24,618
It'll be motorized
mayhem, mayhem, mayhem.

292
00:16:24,787 --> 00:16:26,664
Do we need all those "mayhems"?
We do.

293
00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:29,421
All right, fair enough.
I suppose you know your business.

294
00:16:29,627 --> 00:16:32,744
Get ready for fun, fun, fun.

295
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:36,576
People are already here. We don 't need
to keep hustling them like this, do we?

296
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,942
You let go of me.
Where are you throwing me?

297
00:16:41,347 --> 00:16:43,656
Hello. You got a "help wanted" sign
in the window?

298
00:16:43,867 --> 00:16:46,859
Yeah, I need someone to help me
with the midnight beer delivery.

299
00:16:47,027 --> 00:16:50,497
Your job is to distract Barney
until it's safely off the truck.

300
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,379
I'll just wait out back until then.

301
00:16:52,587 --> 00:16:54,339
I look forward to working with you.

302
00:16:54,507 --> 00:16:55,826
Mr. Smithers, wait.

303
00:16:56,027 --> 00:16:58,860
You can't let yourself end up
in a place like this.

304
00:16:59,027 --> 00:17:00,301
You've got two choices.

305
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:04,062
You can give up on yourself
and take the Barney-guarding job...

306
00:17:04,227 --> 00:17:07,264
...like so many of us have contemplated
in our darkest moments...

307
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:11,301
...or you can admit to yourself
only one person can make you happy...

308
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:13,776
...and do whatever it takes
to get them back!

309
00:17:13,987 --> 00:17:15,420
You're right.

310
00:17:15,587 --> 00:17:17,737
But I'm gonna need your help.

311
00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:20,336
Oh, my God!

312
00:17:20,547 --> 00:17:23,015
Beer delivery. Sign here.

313
00:17:23,187 --> 00:17:25,223
Oh, no! It's you!

314
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:28,545
- Oh, boy!
- Shoot him!

315
00:17:37,587 --> 00:17:39,578
Okay. I got you covered.

316
00:17:39,787 --> 00:17:43,302
Mr. Burns may have mastered 2799
of my 2800 duties...

317
00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:46,899
...but I'll wager he still can't handle
a call from his mother.

318
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,699
You're on.

319
00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:54,178
- What?
- Hello, Mrs. Burns?

320
00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:57,180
This is Waylon Smithers.
I have your son on the line.

321
00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:59,542
That improvident lack wit.

322
00:17:59,707 --> 00:18:03,495
Always too busy striding about
his atom mill to call his own mother.

323
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:07,103
I'll give him what fors
till he cries "brassafrax!"

324
00:18:09,147 --> 00:18:12,583
Perfect. When I give the signal,
you transfer the call to Mr. Burns.

325
00:18:12,747 --> 00:18:15,307
After she tears into him,
I'll rush in and save the day.

326
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:16,741
Got it.

327
00:18:19,587 --> 00:18:21,657
I'm transferring a call in to you,
Mr. Burns.

328
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,260
No problemo.

329
00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:31,465
Ahoy-hoy? Ahoy?

330
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,864
Hello, Mr. Burns.

331
00:18:34,027 --> 00:18:35,506
This is your mother.

332
00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:37,220
No.

333
00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:40,942
Oh, hello, Mater.

334
00:18:41,347 --> 00:18:43,497
Sorry about pulling the plug on you
and all.

335
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,862
Who could have known
you'd pull through...

336
00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:47,858
...and live for another five decades?

337
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,858
Oh, is my face red.

338
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:53,901
Mrs. Burns is 122 years old,
so try to sound more desiccated.

339
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,456
And she doesn't
call her son "Mr. Burns."

340
00:18:57,187 --> 00:19:00,145
Son, this is Mrs. Burns.

341
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:03,822
I just called to say
I don't love you.

342
00:19:03,987 --> 00:19:06,626
You are a bad son, Montel.

343
00:19:06,787 --> 00:19:08,379
So...

344
00:19:08,587 --> 00:19:10,623
Impersonate my mother, will you?

345
00:19:10,787 --> 00:19:13,506
And you, Smithers,
you must have put him up to it.

346
00:19:13,707 --> 00:19:15,220
I'm glad I fired you.

347
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:18,947
You really blew it this time, Smithers.

348
00:19:24,027 --> 00:19:25,699
Stop that. Stop that at once.

349
00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,181
You're fighting.

350
00:19:29,347 --> 00:19:32,737
- Stop fighting like a girl, Simpson!
- Okay.

351
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:44,300
Stop it! Stop it, I say!

352
00:19:48,107 --> 00:19:51,258
I'll teach you how to use a phone,
you boob.

353
00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:53,305
It's for you.

354
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:00,866
I'll show you.

355
00:20:09,547 --> 00:20:11,265
Oh, my.

356
00:20:14,907 --> 00:20:19,264
Here comes the endangered condor
into the power lines.

357
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:23,024
I've got Bobo from the dryer.
Careful not to burn yourself on his eye.

358
00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:24,865
I don't need you to do any of this.

359
00:20:25,027 --> 00:20:27,416
I'm totally self-reliant now.

360
00:20:27,587 --> 00:20:29,703
What I would like, though,
is a Spanish peanut.

361
00:20:31,507 --> 00:20:32,986
Skinned.

362
00:20:35,587 --> 00:20:37,179
It's a remarkable thing.

363
00:20:37,347 --> 00:20:38,939
In the short time you were gone...

364
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,985
...I learned to be completely self-reli...

365
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,741
- ant.

366
00:20:43,907 --> 00:20:47,616
Oh, and as for that brutish fellow
who knocked me out the window...

367
00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:49,823
...see that he gets
what's coming to him.

368
00:20:50,027 --> 00:20:51,858
I already have, sir.

369
00:20:52,747 --> 00:20:55,864
- What did you get that for?
- For knocking Mr. Burns out a window.

370
00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:58,058
- Makes sense to me.
- Did he die?

371
00:20:58,267 --> 00:21:00,178
What am I? A doctor?

372
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:50,698
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

373
00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:52,858
[ENGLISH]