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Live, from the Springfield
Civic Auditorium...

2
00:00:05,907 --> 00:00:09,946
...it's The Simpsons
138th Episode Spectacular.

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Hello, I'm Troy McClure.

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You may remember me from such
Fox network specials...

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...as Alien Nose Job...

6
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...and Five Fabulous Weeks
of the Chevy Chase Show.

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Tonight, we're honoring
America's favorite...

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...non-prehistoric cartoon family.

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You'll see long-lost footage...

10
00:00:34,707 --> 00:00:38,620
...never-before-seen material
from your favorite episodes...

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00:00:38,867 --> 00:00:42,416
...old favorites you can’t see
in syndication.

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00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:47,866
So join me, won't you, for The Simpsons
138th Episode Spectacular.

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The Simpsons began as the brainchild
of cartoonist, Matt Groening.

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The already famous creator
of such comics as Damnation...

15
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...Johnny Reb...

16
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...and True Murder Stories.

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In 1987, Groening teamed up
with award-winning producers...

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...James L. Brooks and Sam Simon.

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What better place to premiere
than on The Tracey Ullman Show...

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...the nation's showcase for psychiatrist
jokes and musical comedy numbers.

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On April 19th, 1987,
America first met the Simpsons.

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Well, good night, son.

23
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- Dad?
- Yeah.

24
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What is the mind?
Is it just a system of impulses...

25
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...or is it something tangible?

26
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Relax? What is mind? No matter.

27
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What is matter? Never mind.

28
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- Thanks, Dad.
- Good night, son.

29
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- Good night, Lisa.
- Good night, Mom.

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- Sweet dreams.
- Thanks, Mom.

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- Sleep tight.
- I will, Mom.

32
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Don't let the bedbugs bite.

33
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Bedbugs?

34
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Rock-a-bye baby in the treetop

35
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When the wind blows
The cradle will rock

36
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When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall

37
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And down will come baby

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Cradle and all

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Sweet dreams.

40
00:04:02,907 --> 00:04:06,980
We may be the best parents
in the world.

41
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- Good night, dear.
- Good night.

42
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- Mom!
- Dad, what were you saying, Dad?

43
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I didn't get the thing about the brain
and the matter. Be more specific.

44
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All right, climb in.

45
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There's nothing to worry about.

46
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Now, everyone go to sleep.

47
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Good night.

48
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They haven't changed a bit,
have they?

49
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As the weeks went on,
so did the cartoons.

50
00:04:42,507 --> 00:04:45,544
Fresh chocolate chip cookies.

51
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Don't touch those yet.

52
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They're very, very hot.

53
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No one's around. The perfect crime.

54
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Do I smell cookies?
Where's the cookies?

55
00:05:02,787 --> 00:05:04,823
They're all gone, the whole batch.

56
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:06,785
Somebody ate those cookies.

57
00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:08,858
Did you eat the cookies, Maggie?

58
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,661
I think she's trying
to tell us something.

59
00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:16,057
- Go on, Maggie.
- Go on, Maggie. Go, go.

60
00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:22,945
There's no perfect crime.

61
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I've got a great idea.

62
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Let's play Space Patrol.

63
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I'll be Lisuey,
the devil-may-care rocket pilot.

64
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Maggie can be Mageena,
your spunky sidekick.

65
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And you'll be Bartron, the evil robot
from Mars gone berserk.

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Do I understand you correctly, Bartron?
Do you wish me to release you...

67
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...from the helmet of evil thoughts
with my enchanted space wand?

68
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Yes!

69
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I will do it, Bartron...

70
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...but who knows what
mysterious forces will be unleashed?

71
00:06:00,707 --> 00:06:05,417
Oh, no. Inside the evil Bartron
is a horrible mutant boy.

72
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:11,466
You'll be safe here till Mom and Dad,
the evil overlords, get home.

73
00:06:11,947 --> 00:06:13,346
As wacky as those kids were...

74
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,742
...they were no match
for Captain Wacky...

75
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...later renamed Homer.

76
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Wake up, everybody,
it's World War III!

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Quick, down to the fallout shelter.
The bombs are dropping.

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Eighteen seconds.

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If this were really a nuclear war,
we'd all be dead meat by now.

80
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Say, you're all shivering.
Are you cold, or what?

81
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Bart. Bart.

82
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:47,859
Time for your Sunday-night bath, boy.

83
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Gotta hide.

84
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Bart!

85
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Where are you, boy?

86
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There you go.
Now, that's not so bad, is it?

87
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Scrub good, now.

88
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Welcome to the exotic world
of undersea explorer, Bart Simpson.

89
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Come with Bart as he dive
into the briny deep...

90
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...searching for the wily
and elusive washcloth.

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Suddenly, without warning, the brave
boy get more than he bargained for.

92
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Help! Help!

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Clean as a whistle, Homer.

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Maybe the drawings were a little crude,
but all the characters were there:

95
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Itchy and Scratchy...

96
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...Grampa Simpson...

97
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...and Krusty the Klown.

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When we return,
more classic moments.

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And for the first time on TV...

100
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...our private reel
of Simpsons outtakes...

101
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:05,184
...including the alternate endings
to "Who Shot Mr. Burns?"

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The cash register says,
"NRA 4EVER."

103
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Just one of the radical
right-wing messages...

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...inserted into every show
by creator Matt Groening.

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00:08:34,787 --> 00:08:37,381
Over the six years The Simpsons
has been on the air...

106
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...we've received dozens of letters
from fans...

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...wanting to know more
about the show.

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Tonight, we'll answer
some of your questions.

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Professor Lawrence Pierce
of the University of Chicago writes:

110
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"I think Homer gets stupider
every year."

111
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That's not a question, professor.

112
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But we'll let the viewers
judge for themselves.

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Hello. My name is Mr. Burns.

114
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- I believe you have a letter for me.
- What's your first name?

115
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I don't know.

116
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Maybe you can take consolation in
the fact that something you created...

117
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...is making so many people happy.

118
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Look at me. I'm making people happy!
I'm the magical man from Happyland...

119
00:09:18,587 --> 00:09:23,615
...in a gumdrop house
on Lollipop Lane.

120
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By the way, I was being sarcastic.

121
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Well, duh.

122
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Simpson, Homer Simpson

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He's the greatest guy in history

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From the town of Springfield

125
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He's about to hit a chestnut tree

126
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- Guys, look what I smuggled aboard.
- Homer, no.

127
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:04,059
- They'll clog the instruments.
- Careful, they're ruffled.

128
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:06,497
I'll take care of this.

129
00:10:36,747 --> 00:10:37,975
Ants!

130
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No TV and No Beer Make Homer
something, something.

131
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Go Crazy?

132
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Don't mind if I do!

133
00:11:02,227 --> 00:11:05,583
Dr. Linus Irving of the Sloan-Kettering
Memorial Institute writes:

134
00:11:05,827 --> 00:11:08,421
"How does Matt Groening find
the time to write and draw...

135
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,016
...an entire Simpsons episode
every week?"

136
00:11:11,227 --> 00:11:14,936
For the answer to this,
we went straight to the source.

137
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Get out of my office!

138
00:11:20,987 --> 00:11:23,626
What Matt meant to say,
according to his attorneys...

139
00:11:23,827 --> 00:11:26,387
...is that he couldn't
possibly do it alone.

140
00:11:26,587 --> 00:11:28,862
And he insisted that we make time
to acknowledge...

141
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:32,946
...the hard work of everyone
who makes The Simpsons possible.

142
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:39,662
Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba
of the Ivory Coast writes:

143
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,865
"What is the real deal
with Mr. Burns' assistant, Smithers?

144
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,944
You know what I'm talking about."

145
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Of course we do.

146
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:49,899
Preparations for your birthday
have begun.

147
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- I won't get what I really want.
- No one does.

148
00:11:55,187 --> 00:11:58,941
Happy birthday, Mr. Smithers

149
00:12:01,147 --> 00:12:05,937
- People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
- Nonsense. Dogs are idiots.

150
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,298
If I came to your house
and started sniffing your crotch...

151
00:12:09,507 --> 00:12:12,146
...and slobbering all over your face,
what would you say?

152
00:12:12,787 --> 00:12:14,015
If you did it, sir?

153
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,622
- I'll print you out a copy.
- Thanks.

154
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:22,500
Hello, Smithers.
You're quite good at turning me on.

155
00:12:23,427 --> 00:12:24,860
You should ignore that.

156
00:12:26,227 --> 00:12:28,661
I dreamed about her again
last night, Smithers.

157
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:32,985
That dream where you're in bed,
and they fly in through the window?

158
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:41,462
As you can see, the real deal
with Waylon Smithers...

159
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,623
...is that he's Mr. Burns’ assistant.

160
00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:48,019
He's in his early 40s, is unmarried
and currently resides in Springfield.

161
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:51,025
Thanks for writing.
We'll be right back.

162
00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:05,624
If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy
and Dr. Marvin Monroe, you are wrong.

163
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,465
They were never popular.

164
00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:09,299
About now, you're probably saying:

165
00:13:09,547 --> 00:13:11,822
"Troy, I've seen every
Simpsons episode.

166
00:13:12,027 --> 00:13:13,904
You can't show me anything new."

167
00:13:14,107 --> 00:13:16,143
You've got some attitude, mister.

168
00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:17,575
Besides, you're wrong.

169
00:13:17,787 --> 00:13:19,743
Because sometimes
episodes run long...

170
00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:22,017
...and certain scenes never get aired.

171
00:13:22,227 --> 00:13:25,105
So fire up your VCR because here,
for the first time ever...

172
00:13:25,307 --> 00:13:27,741
...are the cutout classics.

173
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:36,266
When Krusty the Klown got canceled,
he tried everything to stay on the air.

174
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,935
Here's what you didn’t see.

175
00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:41,098
Watch my show,
I'll send this book of me...

176
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:45,976
...in a variety
of sexually explicit positions.

177
00:13:46,787 --> 00:13:49,017
It's not really me. I used a stunt butt.

178
00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:51,780
Krusty, we're from the network.

179
00:13:51,987 --> 00:13:55,059
We have some bad news.
I'm afraid your show's been canceled.

180
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,541
I thought this would happen.

181
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:59,136
I hope you replace me
with something as educational...

182
00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,144
...and uplifting as I tried to be.

183
00:14:01,347 --> 00:14:04,339
Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial
starring Claude Akins.

184
00:14:04,547 --> 00:14:07,266
Can I play
Hemorrhoid Sufferer Number One?

185
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:09,185
Oh, that hurts!

186
00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:11,776
- Oh, is there no relief?
- I don't think so.

187
00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:14,825
Well, how about
one of the after guys?

188
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,339
Oh, that's better.
I can ride a bike again.

189
00:14:18,547 --> 00:14:19,946
Sorry.

190
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:25,180
When Springfield legalized gambling,
Homer became a dealer...

191
00:14:26,547 --> 00:14:28,458
...and comedy was in the cards.

192
00:14:28,707 --> 00:14:31,062
- Twenty.
- Your move, Mr. Bond.

193
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:32,700
I'll take a hit, dealer.

194
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,016
Joker. You were supposed
to take those out.

195
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:37,939
Oh, sorry. Here's another one.

196
00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:41,423
What is this card?
"Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?

197
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,305
What a pity, Mr. Bond.

198
00:14:43,547 --> 00:14:46,698
What? But it was Homer's fault.
I didn't lose. I never lose.

199
00:14:46,947 --> 00:14:50,337
Well, at least tell me the details
of your plot for world domination.

200
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:52,617
I'm not going to fall
for that one again.

201
00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:56,223
Earlier this year,
Homer's long-lost mother returned...

202
00:14:57,627 --> 00:15:00,141
...and so did a long-lost care package.

203
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:04,186
Homer, please.

204
00:15:04,747 --> 00:15:07,341
You don't have to wolf down
that 25-year-old candy...

205
00:15:07,547 --> 00:15:08,821
...just to make me happy.

206
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,176
But it won't make you unhappy, right?

207
00:15:12,427 --> 00:15:15,385
Hey, Space Food Sticks!

208
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:18,181
Oh, I wish I had these
on my space adventure.

209
00:15:18,387 --> 00:15:21,299
Did you know I was blasted into space
two years ago, Mom?

210
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:25,540
Oh, sure, I read all about it.
I mean, it was national news.

211
00:15:25,747 --> 00:15:27,703
Do you still work for NASA?

212
00:15:27,947 --> 00:15:31,064
- No, I work at the nuclear power plant.
- Oh, Homer.

213
00:15:31,307 --> 00:15:34,663
Well, you'll be happy to know
I don't work very hard.

214
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:38,496
Actually, I'm bringing the plant down
from the inside.

215
00:15:38,747 --> 00:15:40,624
When Homer sold his soul
for a doughnut...

216
00:15:40,827 --> 00:15:44,536
...he found out that hell
isn’t all it's cracked up to be...

217
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:48,137
...in these
never-before-broadcast scenes.

218
00:15:59,907 --> 00:16:01,465
Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers.

219
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,180
"Lionel Hutz.

220
00:16:03,387 --> 00:16:07,300
Case is won in 30 minutes,
or your pizza's free."

221
00:16:07,507 --> 00:16:11,182
I'd sell my soul
for a Formula One racing car.

222
00:16:12,307 --> 00:16:13,706
That can be arranged.

223
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,216
Changed my mind. Sorry.

224
00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:19,186
- Cool.
- Bart, stop pestering Satan.

225
00:16:19,427 --> 00:16:21,657
Your Honor,
we find that Homer Simpson's soul...

226
00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:26,383
...is legally the property
of Marge Simpson and not of the devil.

227
00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:27,821
Yay!

228
00:16:30,947 --> 00:16:33,256
Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.

229
00:16:33,507 --> 00:16:35,975
- But we did win.
- That's okay, the box is empty.

230
00:16:38,187 --> 00:16:41,896
If that's what they cut out,
what they leave in must be pure gold.

231
00:16:42,107 --> 00:16:46,146
Let's watch some more
of those fabulous Simpsons outtakes.

232
00:16:46,387 --> 00:16:48,343
Apu living with the Simpsons?

233
00:16:48,547 --> 00:16:52,176
It happened.
And here's a scene you didn’t see.

234
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,140
I'm hoping you enjoy this movie.

235
00:16:55,507 --> 00:16:57,384
It made every Indian critic's
Top 400 list.

236
00:17:12,147 --> 00:17:15,184
- This movie you rented sucks.
- No, it doesn't. It's funny.

237
00:17:15,387 --> 00:17:18,265
Their clothes are different
from my clothes.

238
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,738
Look at what they're wearing.

239
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,984
A few years back,
Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns.

240
00:17:26,347 --> 00:17:28,224
In this very special outtake...

241
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...Homer attempts a reconciliation
with his estranged son.

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Watch.

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- Bart, you're coming home.
- I wanna stay here with Mr. Burns.

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00:17:37,507 --> 00:17:39,179
I suggest you leave immediately.

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00:17:39,427 --> 00:17:41,941
Or what? You'll release the dogs,
or the bees?

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00:17:42,147 --> 00:17:46,060
Or the dogs with bees in their mouths,
and when they bark they shoot bees?

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00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,867
Well, go ahead! Do your worst!

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My worst, eh? Smithers,
release the robotic Richard Simmons.

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Come on, big boys.
Shake the butter off those buns.

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Come on, come on, girls.
Shake, shake, shake.

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Smithers, it's out of control.

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00:18:12,027 --> 00:18:14,222
I'll take him out, sir.

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His ass is gonna blow!

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00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:33,300
This past summer, America was trying
to solve the mystery...

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...of "Who Shot Mr. Burns?"

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Then they found out it was the baby.

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00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:41,945
To keep this bombshell secret...

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...the producers animated several
solutions that were never intended to air.

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00:18:56,747 --> 00:18:59,898
And to keep the show's animators,
editors, staff and hangers-on...

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...from leaking the solution...

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...two completely different endings
were produced, one real, one phony.

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Here's the ending
you were never meant to see.

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The one who shot me was...

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...Waylon Smithers!

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00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:18,823
No!

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00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,904
Wait a minute, yes.

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00:19:21,107 --> 00:19:23,985
With the sun blocker in place
and the town aghast...

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...I was on top of the world.

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So I wanted to kick up my heels
and indulge my sweet tooth.

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I feel like celebrating.

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Oh, it's you.
What are you so happy about? I see.

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00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:42,503
Smithers had thwarted my earlier
attempt to take candy from a baby...

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00:19:42,747 --> 00:19:46,945
...but with him out of the picture, I was
free to wallow in my own crapulence.

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00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:49,623
Or so I thought.

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At the last moment, Smithers,
drunk as a lemur...

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00:19:52,587 --> 00:19:54,782
...lurched out of the darkness
and fired.

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00:19:56,107 --> 00:20:02,182
That's right. Right before I shot Jasper.
I was busy that night.

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00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:04,987
Stricken, I lurched forth
in search of aid...

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00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:07,655
...but finding only
slack-jawed gawkers...

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00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,784
...I gave up and collapsed
on the sundial.

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00:20:10,027 --> 00:20:11,904
Then with your last ounce
of strength...

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...you pointed to W and S.

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00:20:15,027 --> 00:20:18,906
- Waylon Smithers.
- I'm just relieved that Homer's safe...

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00:20:19,107 --> 00:20:21,621
...and you've recovered,
and we can get back to normal.

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00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,095
Not exactly.

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00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:26,344
Smithers, for attempting to kill me...

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00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:29,584
...I'm giving you
a five percent pay cut.

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00:20:32,627 --> 00:20:34,106
But for that ending to work...

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00:20:34,307 --> 00:20:38,380
...you would have to ignore
all the Simpson DNA evidence.

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00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:41,420
And that would be downright nutty.

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00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:43,464
Yes, The Simpsons
have come a long way...

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00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:45,259
...since an old drunk made humans...

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00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,140
...out of his rabbit characters
to pay off gambling debts.

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00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,736
Who knows what adventures
they'll have between now...

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00:20:50,947 --> 00:20:53,905
...and the time the show
becomes unprofitable?

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I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you
with what we all came here to see:

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Hardcore nudity!

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Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

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[ENGLISH]