1
00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:07,555
Much Apu About Nothing

2
00:00:44,047 --> 00:00:46,481
Run, Daddy, run!

3
00:00:46,687 --> 00:00:49,997
Open the door, Maude.
I don't have time for the secret knock!

4
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:51,886
I'm panicking, Neddie.

5
00:00:52,087 --> 00:00:54,157
I can't work the knob.

6
00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:08,876
This is Kent Brockman with a special
report from the Channel 6 News copter.

7
00:01:09,087 --> 00:01:12,523
A large bear-like animal,
most likely a bear...

8
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:16,203
...has wandered down from the hills
in search of food or employment.

9
00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:20,440
Please remain calm.
Stay in your homes.

10
00:01:24,607 --> 00:01:27,201
Looks like bad news for the...

11
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:30,435
..."Impson" family.

12
00:01:31,487 --> 00:01:34,797
Let's all calm down.
Everyone's going to be just fine...

13
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,679
...as long as I've got enough beers.

14
00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:41,886
All right, that does it.

15
00:01:42,087 --> 00:01:45,636
If I'm gonna be trapped inside the house,
I gotta go out and buy some beer.

16
00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:55,004
Now to drop gracefully
through the windshield.

17
00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:00,678
I got you, Dad!

18
00:02:10,087 --> 00:02:12,840
Sweet dreams, Smokey.

19
00:02:14,647 --> 00:02:16,717
Animal tranquilizer!

20
00:02:30,327 --> 00:02:33,637
Book him, Lou.
One count of being a bear.

21
00:02:33,847 --> 00:02:36,884
And one count of being
an accessory to being a bear.

22
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,437
Oh, Marge, it was horrible.

23
00:02:47,647 --> 00:02:49,956
We were trapped
in the house all afternoon...

24
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:51,759
...and, well...

25
00:02:51,967 --> 00:02:53,958
...we had to drink toilet water.

26
00:02:54,167 --> 00:02:56,203
Well, things were bad everywhere.

27
00:02:56,447 --> 00:02:58,677
I'm sick of these constant
bear attacks.

28
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,845
It's like a freaking
country bear "jamboroo" around here.

29
00:03:02,047 --> 00:03:05,244
Well, now, realistically, Homer,
I've lived here some 30-odd years.

30
00:03:05,447 --> 00:03:07,642
This is the first and only bear
I've ever seen.

31
00:03:07,847 --> 00:03:10,520
Hey, if you want wild bears
eating your children...

32
00:03:10,727 --> 00:03:13,321
...and scaring away your salmon,
that's your business.

33
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,960
But I'm not gonna take it!

34
00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:17,437
- Who's with me?
- I am!

35
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:23,521
We're here! We're queer!
We don't want any more bears!

36
00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:27,362
We're here! We're queer!
We don 't want any more bears!

37
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:30,041
That's a pretty catchy chant.
Where'd you learn it?

38
00:03:30,247 --> 00:03:33,284
Oh, I heard it at the mustache parade
they have every year.

39
00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:36,405
- We don 't want any more bears!
- There's an unruly mob to see you.

40
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:38,359
Does it have an appointment?

41
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:39,841
Yes, it does.

42
00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:41,321
I phoned ahead.

43
00:03:41,527 --> 00:03:46,396
Mr. Mayor, I hate to break it to you,
but your city is infested with bears.

44
00:03:46,647 --> 00:03:49,115
Yeah, and these ones
are smarter than the average bear.

45
00:03:49,327 --> 00:03:52,285
- They swiped my picnic basket.
- Think of the children.

46
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:55,686
Very well. I promise swift
and decisive action...

47
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:58,640
...against these hibernating hucksters.

48
00:04:11,087 --> 00:04:12,725
Not a bear in sight.

49
00:04:12,927 --> 00:04:16,044
The bear patrol must be
working like a charm.

50
00:04:16,247 --> 00:04:18,602
- That's specious reasoning, Dad.
- Thank you, honey.

51
00:04:18,807 --> 00:04:21,879
By your logic, I could claim
that this rock keeps tigers away.

52
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,601
- How does it work?
- It doesn't work.

53
00:04:25,527 --> 00:04:26,880
It's just a stupid rock.

54
00:04:27,127 --> 00:04:30,039
But I don't see any tigers
around here, do you?

55
00:04:30,527 --> 00:04:33,599
Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

56
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:45,762
A perfect day. Zero bears,
and one big, fat, hairy paycheck.

57
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,561
Hey, how come my pay is so low?

58
00:04:48,807 --> 00:04:51,116
"Bear-patrol tax, $5.00."

59
00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:53,358
What? This is an outrage!

60
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,161
It's the biggest tax increase in history!

61
00:04:56,407 --> 00:04:58,602
Dad, it's the smallest
tax increase in history.

62
00:04:58,807 --> 00:05:01,560
Let the bears pay the bear tax.
I pay the Homer tax.

63
00:05:01,807 --> 00:05:03,081
That's the "homeowner" tax.

64
00:05:03,327 --> 00:05:05,522
Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.

65
00:05:09,087 --> 00:05:10,600
Down with taxes!

66
00:05:10,807 --> 00:05:12,365
Down with taxes!

67
00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,398
Down with taxes!

68
00:05:14,607 --> 00:05:16,962
Won't you think of the children?

69
00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:19,761
Are these morons
getting dumber or just louder?

70
00:05:19,967 --> 00:05:23,357
Dumber. They won't give up bear patrol,
but they won't pay taxes for it either.

71
00:05:25,487 --> 00:05:27,478
Ducking this issue calls
for real leadership.

72
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:33,119
People, your taxes are high
because of illegal immigrants.

73
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,597
That's right, illegal immigrants.

74
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:37,559
We need to get rid of them.

75
00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,319
"Immigants," I knew it was them.

76
00:05:41,527 --> 00:05:44,644
Even when it was the bears,
I knew it was them.

77
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:48,084
Won't somebody please
think of the children?

78
00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:50,887
In one week the town will
vote on a special referendum...

79
00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:54,284
...whether or not to deport
all illegal immigrants from Springfield.

80
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:58,082
It shall be known as Proposition 24.

81
00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:09,279
Hey, German boy,
go back to Germania.

82
00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:10,926
I do not deserve this!

83
00:06:11,127 --> 00:06:14,244
I have come here legally
as an exchange student.

84
00:06:14,487 --> 00:06:18,799
Young man, the only thing we exchange
for you is our national dignity.

85
00:06:20,287 --> 00:06:23,518
You want to pick on immigrants,
then pick on Willie.

86
00:06:23,727 --> 00:06:24,955
Willie, please.

87
00:06:25,207 --> 00:06:28,324
The children wanna pick on
someone their own size.

88
00:06:34,647 --> 00:06:37,878
I don't see how you can
support Proposition 24, Dad.

89
00:06:38,127 --> 00:06:39,526
Open your eyes, Lisa.

90
00:06:39,727 --> 00:06:41,957
Our schools are so jam-packed
with immigrants...

91
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:44,203
...kids like Bart have lost
the will to learn.

92
00:06:44,407 --> 00:06:45,635
There's no denying it, sis.

93
00:06:45,887 --> 00:06:47,957
But immigration is
what America's all about.

94
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:51,603
Even the Simpson family immigrated
to America. Right, Grampa?

95
00:06:51,807 --> 00:06:53,763
Okay, you twisted my arm.

96
00:06:54,087 --> 00:06:57,523
The Simpson story begins
back in the old country.

97
00:06:57,727 --> 00:06:59,399
I forget which one exactly.

98
00:06:59,607 --> 00:07:03,520
My father would drone on and on
about America.

99
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,366
He thought it was the greatest thing
since sliced bread.

100
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,878
Sliced bread having been invented
the previous winter.

101
00:07:10,087 --> 00:07:12,965
See this, son?
That's where we're going to live.

102
00:07:13,207 --> 00:07:16,483
Maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

103
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:20,037
Later that day,
we set sail for America.

104
00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:23,037
There it is. Our new home.

105
00:07:25,927 --> 00:07:27,645
I love America!

106
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:29,644
Abe, supper's on!

107
00:07:29,887 --> 00:07:32,765
We had to move out once we'd
filled the head with garbage. The end.

108
00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:39,645
When those immigrants get deported
there'll be more elbowroom...

109
00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:42,236
...for regular joes
like you and me, Apu.

110
00:07:42,447 --> 00:07:46,440
Mr. Simpson, it may astonish you
to learn that I am an immigrant.

111
00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:49,207
You? I don't believe it.

112
00:07:49,407 --> 00:07:51,637
No, in truth, an illegal immigrant, sir.

113
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:56,637
If Proposition 24 passes,
I shall be forced to leave this country.

114
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,559
Oh, I wish...

115
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,327
Oh, I wish I could have stayed
just one more year or two.

116
00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:05,486
There was so much I wanted to see
and to do and to have done to me.

117
00:08:05,687 --> 00:08:06,961
Oh, my God.

118
00:08:07,207 --> 00:08:11,280
I got so swept up in the scapegoating
and fun of Proposition 24...

119
00:08:11,527 --> 00:08:15,964
...I never stopped to think it might
affect someone I cared about.

120
00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:19,557
You know what, Apu?

121
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:23,362
I am really, really gonna miss you.

122
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:40,443
You know what really "aggravases" me
is them "immigants."

123
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,917
They want the benefits
of living in Springfield...

124
00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:45,925
...but they ain't bothered
to learn themselves the language.

125
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:48,237
Yeah, those are exactly
my "sentimonies."

126
00:08:48,447 --> 00:08:50,324
Yeah...

127
00:08:52,687 --> 00:08:53,915
You said it, Barn.

128
00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:05,201
Make the protesters go away,
and I'll give you the entire bottle.

129
00:09:05,407 --> 00:09:06,635
Oh, thank you goodness.

130
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,485
My first customers in a week.

131
00:09:08,727 --> 00:09:12,276
It's hard to believe someone so close
to our family could be an illegal alien.

132
00:09:12,487 --> 00:09:13,840
Alas, it is true.

133
00:09:14,047 --> 00:09:17,596
I came here shortly after
my graduation from Caltech.

134
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,718
Calcutta Technical Institute.

135
00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:23,277
As the top student in my
graduating class of 7 million...

136
00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:27,759
...I was accepted for graduate study
in the United States.

137
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:37,802
Wherever you go and whatever you do,
we will always love you.

138
00:09:38,007 --> 00:09:39,838
Make us proud, son.

139
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,800
- Never forget who you are.
- I won't, Mother.

140
00:09:43,007 --> 00:09:44,918
And I won't forget you, Manjula.

141
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:48,563
I am so sorry our arranged marriage
will not come to pass.

142
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,280
Farewell, my beloved.

143
00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:53,439
I enrolled at Springfield Heights
Institute of Technology...

144
00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:57,316
...under the tutelage of the brilliant
Professor John Frink.

145
00:09:57,567 --> 00:10:01,242
Well, sure, the Frinkiac 7
looks impressive... Don't touch it!

146
00:10:01,487 --> 00:10:05,241
- But I predict that within 100 years,
computers will be twice as powerful...

147
00:10:05,447 --> 00:10:08,439
...10,000 times larger,
and so expensive...

148
00:10:08,647 --> 00:10:12,037
...that only the five richest kings
of Europe will own them.

149
00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:14,118
Could it be used for dating?

150
00:10:14,367 --> 00:10:15,595
Well, theoretically, yes...

151
00:10:15,807 --> 00:10:18,321
...but the computer matches
would be so perfect...

152
00:10:18,527 --> 00:10:22,805
...as to eliminate the thrill
of romantic conquest... way.

153
00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:26,517
Nine glorious years later,
I completed my Ph.D. Thesis.

154
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:29,605
Two hundred thousand
precisely ordered punch cards...

155
00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:33,004
...comprising the world's
very first tic-tac-toe program.

156
00:10:33,247 --> 00:10:35,442
Only the top human players
could beat it.

157
00:10:35,647 --> 00:10:37,000
Hey, what's this one for?

158
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:43,556
So, Apu, why didn't you go back to India
when your student visa expired?

159
00:10:43,807 --> 00:10:47,482
I did not feel right leaving
without paying off my student loans.

160
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,758
So I took a job at the Kwik-E-Mart.

161
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:53,277
When my debts were wiped clean,
I was all set to go.

162
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,638
But by then I had made
so many friends here.

163
00:10:56,887 --> 00:10:59,242
What you're saying is
so understandable.

164
00:10:59,447 --> 00:11:02,439
And really, your only crime
was violating U.S. Law.

165
00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:04,917
Oh, you are one of the good ones.

166
00:11:05,167 --> 00:11:08,603
You know what?
I'm going to vote no on 24.

167
00:11:08,807 --> 00:11:12,163
Mom, you're the greatest.
Can I have this licorice?

168
00:11:18,007 --> 00:11:19,360
Good evening, young man.

169
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:21,683
My name is Charles Norwood.

170
00:11:21,927 --> 00:11:26,637
Furthermore to this beer, I would also
like three of your finest, cheapest cigars.

171
00:11:26,847 --> 00:11:29,839
Here's my ID,
which confirms my "adultivity."

172
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:38,600
Hey, Kearney, this fake ID,
it is truly excellent.

173
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:41,920
Say, if you tell me
where you obtained it...

174
00:11:42,127 --> 00:11:44,163
...I will overlook the
ice-cream sandwiches...

175
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:46,278
...concealed in your armpits, eh?

176
00:11:47,127 --> 00:11:48,082
Deal.

177
00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:57,483
Okay, here are your fraudulent
documents, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon.

178
00:11:57,687 --> 00:11:59,837
Your U.S. Passport,
social security card...

179
00:12:00,047 --> 00:12:02,800
...birth certificate
and your death certificate.

180
00:12:03,007 --> 00:12:05,919
Just hold on to that one
in your safe-deposit box.

181
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,476
Most humble and grateful
thanks to you.

182
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:12,607
Can the courtesy.
You're an American now.

183
00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:15,446
Remember, you were born
in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

184
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:19,162
Your parents were Herb
and Judy Nahasapeemapetilon.

185
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,403
And if you do not wish
to arouse suspicion...

186
00:12:21,647 --> 00:12:24,684
...I strongly urge you to act American.

187
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:29,236
Hey there, Homer. How's it hanging?

188
00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:32,365
Low and lazy. So...

189
00:12:32,727 --> 00:12:35,161
Hey, say something again.

190
00:12:35,407 --> 00:12:39,002
Oh, you're just noticing
the way I'm talking to you now.

191
00:12:39,207 --> 00:12:43,325
You see, it turns out,
I am an American citizen after all.

192
00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:47,446
Apparently, I just
plumb forgot about it.

193
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:52,795
Say, let's take a relaxed attitude toward
work and watch the baseball match.

194
00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:55,885
The NY Mets are
my favorite squadron.

195
00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:59,079
Hey, you got rid of that
goofy, sacred elephant statue.

196
00:12:59,287 --> 00:13:00,686
Oh, yeah.

197
00:13:00,927 --> 00:13:03,157
What was I thinking with that?

198
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:06,916
Who needs the infinite
compassion of Ganesha...

199
00:13:07,127 --> 00:13:11,245
...when I've got Tom Cruise
and Nicole Kidman staring at me...

200
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:14,200
...from Entertainment Weekly
with their dead eyes!

201
00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:17,723
Look at me! I've betrayed
my Indian heritage, sir!

202
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,964
What would my parents
think of me now?

203
00:13:23,007 --> 00:13:24,565
Make us proud, son.

204
00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,883
Never forget who you are.

205
00:13:27,087 --> 00:13:29,521
Don't make the same mistake I did.

206
00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:32,397
Oh, forgive me, Mother.

207
00:13:32,607 --> 00:13:34,438
Father...

208
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,126
...I failed you!

209
00:13:42,207 --> 00:13:44,437
Who am I kidding? I am no citizen.

210
00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:46,922
This passport is a cheap forgery.

211
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:50,756
A cheap, $2000 forgery.

212
00:13:51,287 --> 00:13:54,677
I have brought shame to my parents,
to my homeland and to myself.

213
00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:56,724
Don't forget Ganesha.

214
00:13:58,447 --> 00:14:01,996
I cannot deny my roots,
and I cannot keep up this charade.

215
00:14:02,247 --> 00:14:06,035
I only did it because I love this land,
where I have the freedom to say...

216
00:14:06,247 --> 00:14:08,966
...and to think and to charge
whatever I want.

217
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:14,156
I want to stay, but as the real me.
Not as some yahoo from Green Bay.

218
00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:23,566
You must love this country
more than I love a cold beer...

219
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,359
...on a hot Christmas morning.

220
00:14:25,607 --> 00:14:29,236
Darn it, Apu, I'm not gonna
let them kick you out!

221
00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:32,284
I never should've bought this button.

222
00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:35,320
- Can I have my $3 back?
- Store credit only.

223
00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:39,519
Hey, Marge, look who I brought home.

224
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:44,281
Oh, Homer, are you
rounding up immigrants?

225
00:14:44,487 --> 00:14:49,003
No, Marge. Apu convinced me
that Proposition 24 is a big mistake.

226
00:14:49,247 --> 00:14:52,080
All right! Now you've got
all the Simpsons behind you, Apu.

227
00:14:52,287 --> 00:14:55,677
That's nice, although three of you
are below voting age.

228
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:57,360
And I'm not registered.

229
00:14:57,607 --> 00:15:00,326
I do appreciate your concern,
really, but it is hopeless.

230
00:15:00,527 --> 00:15:05,362
The latest poll shows a whooping
85-percent support for Proposition 24.

231
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:08,127
Hey, Apu, why don't you
just marry some American broad...

232
00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,046
...then dump her
after you get your citizenship?

233
00:15:12,527 --> 00:15:14,006
Hello, Selma?

234
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,960
Selma, my dear, how are you?

235
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,080
Listen, shut up for a second.

236
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,085
How would you like to marry Apu
so he doesn't get deported?

237
00:15:23,327 --> 00:15:27,684
I'd rather eat poison. My name's already
Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure.

238
00:15:27,887 --> 00:15:30,924
God knows it's long enough without
Nahasapetapeeta-whatever.

239
00:15:31,127 --> 00:15:33,561
From now on,
I'm only marrying for love.

240
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,156
And possibly once more for money.

241
00:15:39,327 --> 00:15:42,205
Oh, it's hopeless. Oh, poor Apu.

242
00:15:42,407 --> 00:15:45,080
Hey, the government
don't control the sky.

243
00:15:45,287 --> 00:15:48,324
- What if you lived in a balloon?
- That's it!

244
00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:50,404
Do you hear that, Mom?
She's as dumb as me.

245
00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:53,121
No. Not what he said, what he is.

246
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,478
Grandfather, as in grandfather clause.

247
00:15:56,687 --> 00:15:59,155
Apu, how long ago
did your visa expire?

248
00:15:59,407 --> 00:16:00,635
Seven years, but I don't...

249
00:16:00,887 --> 00:16:03,959
There was an amnesty declared for
people who've been here that long.

250
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:06,283
That means you can take
the citizenship test.

251
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:10,516
But, Apu, the vote on
Proposition 24 is on Tuesday.

252
00:16:10,727 --> 00:16:13,116
- You'll have to pass the test before then.
- Oh, no.

253
00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:16,842
That is not nearly enough time to learn
over 200 years of American history.

254
00:16:17,047 --> 00:16:18,878
Oh, it can't be that many.

255
00:16:19,087 --> 00:16:21,806
Come on, Apu. I'll be your tutor.

256
00:16:26,207 --> 00:16:28,437
Please identify this object.

257
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:32,123
It appears to be the flag which
disappeared from the library last year.

258
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,803
Correct. Now, we all know
the 13 stripes are for good luck...

259
00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:39,886
...but why does the American flag
have precisely 47 stars?

260
00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:43,477
Because this particular flag
is ridiculously out-of-date.

261
00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:46,963
The library must have purchased it
during the brief period in 1912...

262
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:50,364
...after New Mexico became a state
but before Arizona did.

263
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,195
Partial credit.

264
00:16:53,487 --> 00:16:56,399
Now, they may ask you to
locate your town on a map of the U.S.

265
00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:57,835
So let's do that.

266
00:16:58,647 --> 00:17:01,719
Springfield, Springfield... Right here.

267
00:17:01,927 --> 00:17:04,236
Dad, you're not pointing
anywhere near Springfield.

268
00:17:04,447 --> 00:17:05,846
It's over here, Apu.

269
00:17:06,047 --> 00:17:07,924
Hey, what you doing? Studying?

270
00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:11,876
I'm so confused. I don't know where
I'm getting kicked out of anymore.

271
00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:22,925
Sign's floating away, chief.

272
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,398
Executive, legislative and judicial.

273
00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:28,757
No, no and no.

274
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,959
Maybe we should start all over
with the electrical college.

275
00:17:32,167 --> 00:17:34,601
Please, Mr. Simpson,
my brain needs sleep.

276
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:37,236
The test is in six hours,
and many of these facts...

277
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:40,564
...are completely new to me.
- Sleep is for the weak, Apu.

278
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:44,362
Now, I'm gonna go to bed while you look
over my notes from ninth-grade history.

279
00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:47,644
Okay, Apu, stay awake
and stay focused.

280
00:17:47,847 --> 00:17:49,758
Cotton Mather...

281
00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:57,400
Oh, no, I fell asleep!

282
00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:00,207
I have forgotten everything
that Mr. Homer taught me.

283
00:18:00,407 --> 00:18:02,875
Perfect, let's roll.

284
00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:08,759
- Immigrants, go home.
- Go back home. Go on, get out of here.

285
00:18:09,007 --> 00:18:10,838
- Go on, now.
- Gosh, you're annoying.

286
00:18:23,047 --> 00:18:25,515
All right, men,
here's the order of deportations.

287
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:29,396
First you'll be rounding up
your tired, then your poor...

288
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:32,405
...then your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free.

289
00:18:32,647 --> 00:18:33,921
Breathers, got it.

290
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:37,955
All right, here's your last question.
What was the cause of the Civil War?

291
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:39,839
Actually, there were numerous causes.

292
00:18:40,047 --> 00:18:43,642
Aside from the obvious schism between
abolitionists and anti-abolitionists...

293
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:46,645
...economic factors, both domestic
and international, played...

294
00:18:46,887 --> 00:18:48,240
- Hey, hey.
- Yeah.

295
00:18:48,447 --> 00:18:50,403
- Just say "slavery."
- Slavery it is, sir.

296
00:18:51,687 --> 00:18:53,678
Yes! I am a citizen!

297
00:18:53,887 --> 00:18:56,196
Now, which way to the welfare office?

298
00:18:56,447 --> 00:18:59,564
- What?
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work.

299
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,962
Thank you.
I want to say thank you to everyone.

300
00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:07,485
From this day forth, I am no longer
an Indian living in America.

301
00:19:07,687 --> 00:19:09,564
I am an Indian American.

302
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,201
- Yeah!
- Hear, hear, hear.

303
00:19:12,447 --> 00:19:15,166
You know, Apu, in a way,
all Americans are immigrants.

304
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,766
Except Native Americans.

305
00:19:16,967 --> 00:19:18,923
Yeah, native Americans like us.

306
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:20,446
No, I mean American Indians.

307
00:19:20,647 --> 00:19:21,966
- Like me.
- No, I mean...

308
00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:27,437
Hi, everyone. If I could just say a few
words, I'd be a better public speaker.

309
00:19:29,527 --> 00:19:31,677
Now that you're all relaxed...

310
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:34,601
Most of us here were born in America.

311
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,479
We take this country for granted.

312
00:19:36,687 --> 00:19:38,484
But not immigrants like Apu.

313
00:19:38,687 --> 00:19:41,121
While the rest of us
are drinking ourselves stupid...

314
00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:44,121
...they're driving the cabs
that get us home safely.

315
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:46,927
They're writing the operas
that entertain us every day.

316
00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:49,965
They're training our tigers,
and kicking our extra points.

317
00:19:50,207 --> 00:19:55,281
These people are the glue that holds
together the gears of our society.

318
00:19:55,527 --> 00:20:01,716
If we pass Proposition 24, we'll be losing
some of the truest Americans of all.

319
00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:08,044
When you go to the polls tomorrow,
please vote no on Proposition 24.

320
00:20:08,247 --> 00:20:13,162
No on 24. No on 24.

321
00:20:13,407 --> 00:20:15,796
No on 24.

322
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,316
No on 24.

323
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:21,081
No on 24.

324
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,596
No on 24.

325
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,156
No on 24.

326
00:20:27,447 --> 00:20:30,245
It's a landslide. Yes on 24.

327
00:20:30,447 --> 00:20:34,235
The proposition passed with
a record 95 percent...

328
00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:36,557
When are people going to learn?

329
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:38,917
Democracy doesn't work.

330
00:20:39,127 --> 00:20:41,038
Please don't knock
the land that I love.

331
00:20:43,527 --> 00:20:49,477
Jury duty. Oh, today I am truly
an American citizen.

332
00:20:53,207 --> 00:20:57,519
Just thank heaven everything worked out
for the people we care about.

333
00:21:00,207 --> 00:21:02,243
Ingrates.

334
00:21:50,407 --> 00:21:52,363
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group

335
00:21:52,567 --> 00:21:54,523
[ENGLISH]