1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,303
??[Chorus Singing]

2
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,984
[Bell Ringing]

3
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,918
[ Whistle Blowing]

4
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:32,297
[ Beeping ]

5
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,938
?? [Jazzy Solo ]

6
00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:01,926
[ Beeping ]

7
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,928
[ Tires Screeching ]

8
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,232
D'oh!
[ Screams ]

9
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,937
[ All ]
Whoa!

10
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,911
?? [ Singing ]

11
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:31,081
?? [ Continues ]

12
00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:41,093
?? [ Singing Rock Song ]

13
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:48,172
I didn't think it was physically possible,
but this both sucks and blows.

14
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:54,241
?? [ Singing Ends ]

15
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,613
[ Chuckles ]
Whew. Mercy.

16
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,554
Good evening. Our old friend Noah Webster
defines "laughter"...

17
00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:07,717
as "the act or sound oflaughing."

18
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:09,294
[Nelson ]
Ha-ha!

19
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,625
[ Chuckles ]
Well illustrated, Nelson.

20
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,223
And now, fasten your funny bones
for Groundskeeper--

21
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:18,065
Oh. Or should I say
"Grinskeeper"?

22
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:21,038
No, I'm sorry.
Groundskeeperwas correct. Willie!

23
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,235
- ?? [ Bagpipes ]
- [Applause ]

24
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:27,108
How many ofyou hail from
the fair city of Edinburgh?

25
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,082
So, have you noticed...

26
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:34,585
how North Edinburgh golfers
putt like this...

27
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:38,623
and South Edinburgh golfers
putt like this?

28
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:42,217
- [Man Coughs ]
- Eh?

29
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,262
- ?? [ Bagpipes ]
- Eh?

30
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,595
- [ Crickets Chirping]
- Oh, I see.

31
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,260
Willie's not funny unless
he's down on his knees...

32
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,930
scooping up your little brats' puke!

33
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,200
[ Laughing, Applauding ]

34
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,208
Thankyou! You've been great!

35
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,107
??[Jazz]

36
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,112
?? [ Singing ]

37
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,349
?? [ Continues ]

38
00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,750
- [ Groaning ]
- ?? [ Continues ]

39
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,050
- [Balloons Popping]
- Kill me.

40
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:14,217
Well, Seymour,
it seems we put together...

41
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,522
a baseball team,
and I was wondering--

42
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,529
Who's on first?

43
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,395
Yes. Not the pronoun,
but rather a player...

44
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,061
with the unlikely name
ofWho is on first.

45
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,070
Yes. Well, that's
just great, Seymour.

46
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:29,471
We've been out here six seconds.
You've already managed to blow the routine.

47
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,567
Sexless freak.

48
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:35,409
- ?? [Rim Shot]
- [ Laughs ]

49
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:38,245
Well, seems as though
we're just about at the halfway point...

50
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,979
- so why don't we call it intermission?
- [ Chattering ]

51
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:42,987
Whoa! Don't go too far.

52
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:46,820
Ifyou like cafeteria workers
in Beatle wigs with tennis racket guitars...

53
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,860
you won't want to miss
the second half!.

54
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,055
- Oh, no! No!
- [ All Shouting ]

55
00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,190
You drive. I eat.

56
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,099
Dad, you were supposed
to pay for those snacks.

57
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,604
I saw Krabappel's butt.
I paid.

58
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,803
[ Horns Honking ]

59
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,538
Whoopsie.
Mm, this could take a minute.

60
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,876
- There's an opening, Mom.
- I don't know.

61
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:12,110
I-- I hate to change lanes
once I get going.

62
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:15,187
- That's really for race car drivers.
- Mom, toyour left.

63
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:16,812
He's letting you in. Go!

64
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,448
- [Lisa ] Come on, Mom!
- [Homer] Gun it, woman!

65
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,858
No. No. As soon as I get over,
that lane will stop moving.

66
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,931
Erma Bombeck said so,
and Dave Barry agrees.

67
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,129
- [Horns Honking]
- Aw! You suck, Marge.

68
00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,806
- Come on! Move it, you clowns!
- [ Honking ]

69
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:37,102
What in blazes?

70
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,743
So long, schlubs!

71
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,251
Wow. Did you see that thing, Marge?

72
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,287
So powerful. So commanding.

73
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,256
- So forceful and raw.
- [Horse Neighs ]

74
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:55,054
It didn't ask. It just took.

75
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:58,595
- ?? [Man Singing CountryMusic]
- [Man #2 Shouts ]

76
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:05,034
- ?? [Ends ]
- [ Groaning ]

77
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,538
Oh, Canyonero.

78
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,574
[ Laughs ]
Go ahead. Drool all you want.

79
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:13,806
You can't hurt that finish.
Now, rainwater-- that'll strip it right off.

80
00:05:13,913 --> 00:05:16,848
Ah, I shouldn't have
said that. I'm Gil.

81
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:18,849
Hey, a red one!

82
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:21,112
[Laughing]

83
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,347
Can I buy that? Please?

84
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,050
Well, you-- Ifyou--
[ Babbles ] Really?

85
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,754
Wha-- Ha!
Hot dog! A sale!

86
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,057
[ Laughing ]

87
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,395
- [ Laughing Continues ] Huh?
- I'll take it from here, Gil.

88
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,128
No! Wait! Ah, no!
You can't take my sale!

89
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:40,069
Mywife's gonna leave me
ifl don't start bringing in the green.

90
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,074
Come on. Let me have this one, Stan.
I'm begging you.

91
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,043
Look at me.
I'm begging you, Stan.

92
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,012
Mm-hmm.
Let's go write this up, shall we?

93
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,816
Honey, you should've seen me
with my last customer. I--

94
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:58,857
No, but I came so close.
This guywas--

95
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:02,018
Whose voice is that?
Is that Fred?

96
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:05,495
Ah, you said it was over!
No, don't put him on!

97
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,896
Hello, Fred. H-Hi.

98
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:11,168
Okay. You've got
the undercoating...

99
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,568
clear coating, rustproofing,
under guard spray...

100
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,301
Gravel GuardXJ,
Vita-Seal, Repels-It...

101
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:20,607
but ifyou want to protect the paint,
you better keep it in this tent.

102
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,375
- Will do.
- Okay. Here's how your lease breaks down:

103
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:28,511
This is your down payment, then here's
your monthly, and there's yourweekly.

104
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,816
- And that's it, right?
- Yup.

105
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,551
Oh, then afteryour final monthly payment,
there's the routine C.B.P....

106
00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:36,423
- or crippling balloon payment.
- But that's not for a while, right?

107
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,726
- Right.
- Sweet.

108
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:41,356
[Bird Caws ]

109
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,991
- Whoo! Hello!
- Whoo!

110
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,569
Hey, baby!

111
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:50,906
Oh. Sorry, Homer. We thought you were
one ofthose hot-to-trot soccer moms.

112
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,672
Yeah. You don't see many men
driving the "F" Series.

113
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,680
Huh?

114
00:06:55,782 --> 00:06:59,445
See? Instead of a cigarette lighter,
it's got a lipstick holder.

115
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,315
[ Gasps ]

116
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,414
Ah, crap! It's a girl's car!
I can't drive this!

117
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,790
Oh, sure, you can, doll face.
[ Kisses ]

118
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,194
[ Chuckles ] Pretty thing likeyou
can do whatever she wants.

119
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,266
[ Both Laughing ]

120
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:16,631
Shut up! Screwyou guys!

121
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,931
[ Both Laughing ]

122
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:22,735
Lousy "F"Series frilly, girlie, fruity car.
[Mutters ]

123
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:25,333
Where's your keys?
I'm taking your car to work.

124
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:29,609
You cashed in your 401 (k) to buy
that stupid Canyonero.

125
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,843
- Why can't you drive it?
- Are you saying I'm gay?

126
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,978
Because ifthat's whatyou think,
then just come right out and say it.

127
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,455
I don't thinkyou're gay.
I just have to do my grocery shopping.

128
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,459
Now, please, give me my keys.

129
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,461
Fine.

130
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,623
?? [ Humming ]

131
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,893
- [ Engine Starts ]
- [ Laughs ]

132
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:51,367
- Ha-ha! Sucker!
- Oh!

133
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:57,309
Good Lord!
[ Groans ]

134
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,935
How am I supposed
to get in this beast?

135
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,975
Hmm. Well, that's a nice feature.

136
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:10,487
Not much headroom though.
Ooh!

137
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:14,185
Oh, I guess I can
drive it for a little while.

138
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,523
But, Mom, I read that
sport utilityvehicles...

139
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,189
are more likely to be involved
in fatal accidents.

140
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,596
Fatal to the people in the other car.
Let's roll.

141
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:25,467
Hang on. The manual says
I need to log on to the onboard computer.

142
00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,369
M-A-R-G-E.

143
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:31,568
[ Electronic Female Voice ] Hello, Marge.
Where would you like to go today?

144
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:35,841
[ Gasps ] No one has ever asked me
that before in my life.

145
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,947
Well, that's a first.
I've never been able...

146
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:44,386
to fit 32 grocery bags
into one car before.

147
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:48,153
Ew! Why is Courtney Love
on the Wheaties box?

148
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:52,061
- Hmm. I thought it was Sandy Duncan.
- Uh-oh. Gridlock at 1 2:00.

149
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,792
- [ Horns Honking ]
- [ People Shouting ]

150
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:02,207
Oh, crud.
And we're so close to the house.

151
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:06,335
Um, I don't want to alarm you,
but the ice cream's starting to go south.

152
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:11,674
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
[ Gags ]

153
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,184
Hey, give me some ofthat!
[ Screams ]

154
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,120
Mom! Bart sprayed
whipped cream in my eye!

155
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,350
- I did not.
- [ Screams ]

156
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:23,292
- [ Both Grunting ]
- Kids, cut it out!

157
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,923
- [ Sighs ] All right.
- Hey!

158
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,524
Come on, Mom.
Just cut across the field.

159
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,365
Oh, I don't know.
It doesn't seem right.

160
00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,996
[ Scoffs ] Doyou want to spend
yourwhole life doing what's right?

161
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,007
Of course not.

162
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,873
- Let's do it!
- ?? [Man Singing CountryMusic]

163
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,212
[Man #2 Shouts ]

164
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,752
- ?? [ Continues ]
- Whoa! You the man, Mom!

165
00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:49,753
Out of myway, nature!

166
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:52,221
[ Chittering ]

167
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,816
?? [Ends ]

168
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,563
[ Gasps ]

169
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,398
Look at me, Lise.
I'm Baron Von Chicken Pants.

170
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,972
[ Clucking ]

171
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,099
Bart, that's
tomorrow night's dinner.

172
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,734
- You're tomorrow night's dinner.
- Mom!

173
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,905
Bart tookwhat I said
and turned it into an insult!

174
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,676
That's nice, dear!

175
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,616
Okay, Mr. Peanut,
you thinkyou can keep--

176
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:24,581
[ Sputtering ]

177
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,920
A three-chambered peanut!

178
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,587
Marge, lookwhat I did!
Come quick! Hurry!

179
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,891
Marge?

180
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,263
Marge?

181
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,269
- Marge, you've been out there all morning.
- So?

182
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:42,569
So, lying on the couch and eating stuff
isn't the same ifyou aren't around to see it.

183
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:45,269
Oh, I'll come watch you
do nothing after I try out...

184
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,142
my new high-intensity
halogen headlights.

185
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:55,652
[ Laughs ]
Nobodywill ever cut me offagain.

186
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,689
Ah, please come in!

187
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:02,955
Maggie smells bad, and the catwants
something, but I don't knowwhat.

188
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:07,021
I'm almost done.
And tell Bart to get out ofmy purse.

189
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,629
[ No Audible Dialogue]

190
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,343
- [Marge]S.U. V. coming through.
- [ Horn Honking ]

191
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,311
- Open up forMarge. Thankyou.
- [ Honking Continues ]

192
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,405
Thank-- Whoa!

193
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,280
And daylight!
Come on! Come on!

194
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:29,752
- [ Honking Continues ]
- Geez. Try the gas pedal, Grandma.

195
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,016
It's right there next to the brake.

196
00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:35,992
- Oh, for God's s-- Go back to New Jersey.
- [ Horn Honks ]

197
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,290
[ Tires Squeal, Screech ]

198
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,926
[ Muttering ]

199
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,502
- [ Muffled Shout ]
- [ Honks ]

200
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:47,731
Come on, come on!
Get that corpse offthe road!

201
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,001
The streets are for the living!

202
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:53,442
- [ Both ] Whoa!
- Slow down, you maniac!

203
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,946
Show some respect for this
coffin full ofbricks...

204
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,846
representing
a young man lost at sea.

205
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:03,021
- Hey!
- [ Siren Wailing ]

206
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:06,655
Oh, great. What did I do?

207
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:12,992
- This better be important.
- Can the sweet talk, Thelma & Louise.

208
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:15,158
You have a serious mental illness.

209
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:18,065
The technical term is "road rage."

210
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:21,071
I'll seeyou tomorrow morning
at traffic school, speedy.

211
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,903
And you got exactly five seconds
to get out of my sight.

212
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,739
- [ Grumbles ]
- [ Tires Squeal ]

213
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,974
[ Sighs ]
Why are the pretty ones always insane?

214
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,749
[ Marge Groaning ]

215
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:38,748
Okay. I assume you all know
whyyou're here.

216
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:40,883
That's right.
You're all angry...

217
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,858
- sickpeople.
- [ Snoring ]

218
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:48,093
But over these next eight hours, you will be
broken down to the level of infants...

219
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,328
then rebuilt as functional
members of society...

220
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:54,429
then broken down again,
then lunch...

221
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,770
then, ifthere's time,
rebuilt once more.

222
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,776
All right, roll it, Lou.

223
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,739
?? [ Instrumental ]

224
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,873
Hello. I'm Sergeant Crew...

225
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,384
and I'm here
to talk toyou about...

226
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,944
road... rage.

227
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,355
- Duh!
- Quiet, fatso! The sergeant's talking!

228
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,927
Go on, dear.

229
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,895
In these modern,
hectic days offast food...

230
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:23,560
answering machines and one-night stands,
people are getting angrier.

231
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,297
Now, whatyou're about
to see is not pretty.

232
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:33,278
Cut me off, will you?
[ Grunting ]

233
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,473
- [Horn Honking]
- Learn to drive, dimwit!

234
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,380
I sentence you to kiss my ass.

235
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,681
[ Screaming ]

236
00:13:42,788 --> 00:13:45,188
Look familiar? It should.

237
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,486
Anger is what
makes America great.

238
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,255
Butyou must find
the proper outlet foryour rage.

239
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,728
Fire a weapon
atyour television screen...

240
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,959
pick a fight with someone
weaker than you...

241
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,934
orwrite a threatening letter
to a celebrity.

242
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,597
So when you go out for a drive...

243
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:05,234
remember to leaveyour murderous
angerwhere it belongs-- at home.

244
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,008
[Applause ]

245
00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:12,174
And as ifthat film wasn't enough,
we have a special guest.

246
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,744
Why, it's Curtis E. Bear,
the courtesy bear.

247
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,756
?? [ Hums ]

248
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:23,056
For the next three hours, this bearwill
takeyourverbal and physical abuse...

249
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:25,062
with good nature and aplomb.

250
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,600
So, ifyou'll all just grab one ofthese
two-by-fours--

251
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,670
Um, Chief, can I at least
shield my crotch?

252
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:34,261
Bears can't talk, Eddie.

253
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:36,068
- [ Shouting ]
- [Eddie Gasps ]

254
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,144
- [Blows Landing]
- [ Chattering ]

255
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,877
Well, Simpson,
did you learn something today?

256
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,075
Oh, did I ever.

257
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:49,177
And that herbal anger rinse
just washed the rage right out of me.

258
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:53,588
And remember, Midge, you feel
the need to rage, you call me, right?

259
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:57,423
I won't even get sexual or nothin'--
unless that's whatyou want.

260
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,759
- [DoorOpens, Closes ]
- But that's not what you want, right?

261
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,765
No, thanks.

262
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,698
But thanks.

263
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:07,067
[ Chattering ]

264
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,538
Afteryou, sweetheart.

265
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,610
Oh, no. You first, ma'am.

266
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,701
Well, somebody go first.

267
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:16,906
- Well, not me.
- I'm not goin' until she goes.

268
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,916
Oh, for crying out loud!

269
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:23,045
Oh. Oh. Okay.
Calm down.Just think.

270
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,316
What would Curtis E. Bear do?

271
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,383
- [ Honking ]
- Move it! I gotta return this suit!

272
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,656
[Tires Screeching]

273
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,459
Hmm.

274
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,668
Get out ofthe way!

275
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,739
-[Tires Screeching]
- Oh, no! No!

276
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:42,739
[ Horn Honking ]

277
00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:45,901
[ Screams ]

278
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,740
- Ya!
- [ Alarm Wailing ]

279
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,746
We're free! We're free!

280
00:15:50,849 --> 00:15:53,511
Whoa! Thanks, chick-dude.

281
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,519
Well, I hopeyou're happy, Simpson.

282
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:59,057
Those prisoners were one day away
from being completely rehabilitated.

283
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:02,218
I'm tearing upyour license.

284
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,530
Ah, geez. Darned laminated--

285
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,192
Would you mind? I got stubby fingers.
[ Chuckles ]

286
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,202
[ Groans ]

287
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,839
[ Groans ]
How could they take away my license?

288
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,310
- It feels like I lost a limb.
- Well, that's a turnoff.

289
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:24,041
Hey, why don'tyou come
to the wild animal parkwith us?

290
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,674
No. Your father drives
like an old lady.

291
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,685
At least I've got a license.

292
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:31,915
- [ Groans ]
- Come on, kids. I went too far.

293
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,726
- [DoorSlams ]
- [ Sighs ]

294
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,820
[Elephant Trumpets ]

295
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,161
- [ Growling ]
- [Trumpeting Continues ]

296
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,064
Ah, what a gyp.
They're all just lyin' around.

297
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,727
Do something!

298
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,272
Bart, they're not here
to entertain us.

299
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,571
I've seen plays
that were more exciting than this.

300
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,907
Honest to God. Plays!

301
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,640
[Animal Calling]

302
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,911
I don't wanna pay four bucks to watch
some monkeywannabe laying in the sun!

303
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,145
But, Dad, lemurs are nocturnal.

304
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:04,188
Don't worry, honey.
Daddywill fix that broken animal.

305
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,554
- No!
- I'm not gonna hurt him.
I'm just gonna wake him up.

306
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,287
[ Shrieking ]

307
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:12,623
[ Shrieks ]

308
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:14,926
[ Roars ]

309
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,195
- [ Snarling ]
- [ All Growl ]

310
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,770
[ All Snarling, Grunting ]

311
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,774
Uh-oh. Here's a slingshot, Lisa.

312
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,714
[ Australian Accent] I told 'em
a chain link fencewouldn't hold rhinos.

313
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:33,512
Oh, wait. No, I didn't.
I meant to tell 'em.

314
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,219
[ Shrieks, Muffled Grunting ]

315
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:48,390
[ Muffled Laughing ]

316
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,834
[ Screaming ]

317
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,530
- [ Screaming ]
- [ Snarling ]

318
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:58,142
Don'tworry, kids.
I knowjustwhat to do.

319
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,643
-Jumanji!
- [ All Snarling ]

320
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,412
Does anything from the movies
actuallywork?

321
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:07,246
[ Both Whimpering ]

322
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,378
- [ Both Grunt]
- Ah, nuts!

323
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,219
Isn't there anybodywho can
round up these thunder lizards?

324
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,691
Uh, they'd need
a pretty rugged vehicle.

325
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:18,763
- And a heart to match.
- Hmm.

326
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:22,061
I'd like to helpyou, Chief,
but my license was revoked.

327
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,658
Seems I'm full of rage.

328
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:28,171
Then do it for this adorable
little puppy.

329
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,173
Look at the puppy, Marge.

330
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,711
- That's your hat.
- She's good, Chief.

331
00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:36,975
Now ifyou'll excuse me,
I've got some dust that needs busting.

332
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,051
- [ People Screaming ]
- This is Kent Brockman...

333
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:43,053
at the scene of
a level three rhino alert.

334
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:46,215
- [ Screaming ]
- Authorities say there's no
immediate danger to anyone--

335
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:49,055
except those three luckless people
whom we'll identify...

336
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,789
once the rhinos
spit out theirwallets.

337
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,627
- [ Gasps ]
- Back! Back, I say!

338
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:57,258
[ Snarling ]

339
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,303
Oh, no! I'm out of popcorn!

340
00:18:59,404 --> 00:19:02,168
- Throw your peanuts!
- You throw your peanuts!

341
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:04,208
[ All Screaming ]

342
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,436
- [ Tires Screeching ]
- [ Horn Honking ]

343
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,537
- [ Bart ] Look! It's Mom!
- Out ofthe way!

344
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,242
- [ Honks ]
- Move it or lose it! Get going, you!

345
00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,911
[ Horn Honking ]

346
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:19,057
This ought to hold 'em.

347
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,561
There's one missing, mate. Ifwe don't find him,
it'll be my ass on the barbie!

348
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,130
- [ Snarling ]
- [ All Whimpering ]

349
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:28,722
[Horn Honking]

350
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,235
- Get in! Get in!
- [ Both Grunt ]

351
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,204
- Come on, Homer!Jump!
- [ Grunts ]

352
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:39,676
Oh! When will Detroit build a sunroof
for the husky gentleman?

353
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:41,336
- [ Shrieks ]
- [ Snarling ]

354
00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,074
[ Screaming, Whimpering ]

355
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:48,210
[ Screaming ]
Ah, no!

356
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,345
[ People Gasping ]

357
00:19:50,455 --> 00:19:52,548
[Whimpering, Sobbing ]

358
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,558
Hey, anybody seen Homertoday?

359
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:56,525
- Here. [ Babbling ]
- There he goes.

360
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,994
[ Screaming ]
Ow!

361
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,533
- It's not my rhino!
- [ All Gasp ]

362
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,000
[ Screaming ]

363
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,833
[ Screams ]

364
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,568
Oh, thankyou, God.

365
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,804
And thank you, Port-a-John.
You really saved my--

366
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,506
[ Screams ]
Who's out there?

367
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,081
[ Shrieks ]
Oh, I'm gonna die!

368
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:23,654
Jesus, Allah, Buddha,
I loveyou all!

369
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:27,752
- [ Groans ]
- [Homer] Nice rhino.

370
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:37,827
[ Gasps ]
Oh, no! She's not gonna make it.

371
00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:40,871
Hmm. Looks like it's time
for plan "B."

372
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,339
One, two...

373
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:45,467
three, "B"!

374
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,044
[ Grunts ]

375
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:53,582
[ Shrieks, Snarling ]

376
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:57,280
It's okay, Homie.
You can come out now.

377
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,687
Uh, give me a minute.

378
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:05,558
[ Grunting, Yelps ]

379
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,859
Oh, Marge! You saved me!

380
00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:11,561
Wow! You are so much cooler
than Milhouse's mom.

381
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,661
Yeah. Way to channel
that rage, Simpson.

382
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:15,967
How did you knowyour plan
would work, Mom?

383
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:19,407
Thanks for asking.
Well, I was watching Dateline...

384
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:23,572
and Stone Phillips said S.U.V '. s
always roll overwhen you turn sharply...

385
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,276
and the gas tanks explode
at the drop of a hat.

386
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:29,252
And she also knew
if a rhino sees a flame...

387
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,584
he'll instinctively
try to put it out.

388
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,590
Stone Phillips again.

389
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,887
Is there anything
that guy doesn't know?

390
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:38,690
Why, this Stone Phillips
sounds like quite a bloke.

391
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,958
What television network
is he on?

392
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:42,966
Why, NBC, of course.

393
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:47,266
NBC has lots of great shows, and their
news and sports coverage can't be beat.

394
00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,000
Doyou think there's anything great
on NBC right now?

395
00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:52,042
Oh, I'm sure ofit.

396
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,011
But there's only one way
to find out.

397
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:57,604
[Homer] I'dlike to read
the followingstatement...

398
00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,445
- but I do so under--
- [ Gun Cocks ]

399
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,109
my own free will.

400
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:03,983
"It has come to my attention
that NBC sucks.

401
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,286
"I apologize for misleadingyou and urge you
to watch as many Fox shows as possible.

402
00:22:07,392 --> 00:22:11,988
So, in summary, NBC bad, Fox good."
CBS great.

403
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:14,190
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Body Hits Ground]

404
00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:16,392
[ Gunshots Continue ]

405
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,255
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Body Hits Ground]

406
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:44,829
[ Gunshots Continue ]