1
00:01:11,841 --> 00:01:13,543
A home and garden show?
2
00:01:14,919 --> 00:01:17,802
Mom, you said we were
going to a video game expo!
3
00:01:17,922 --> 00:01:20,940
You told me we were gonna
pick up trash by the freeway!
4
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,251
You told me something,
but I wasn't listening!
5
00:01:23,286 --> 00:01:24,690
I'm sorry for fibbing.
6
00:01:26,275 --> 00:01:29,998
Tell you what. If you don't like it,
you can complain all the way home.
7
00:01:30,118 --> 00:01:30,886
Fair enough.
8
00:01:31,131 --> 00:01:32,666
Kids, let's practice.
9
00:01:34,118 --> 00:01:35,702
Mi, mi, mi, mi.
10
00:01:35,822 --> 00:01:36,542
Well that's a...
11
00:01:36,577 --> 00:01:38,951
- There's a day we'll never get back.
- I was so bored.
12
00:01:39,071 --> 00:01:42,753
That was good, but Lisa, you're still
complaining from your throat.
13
00:01:42,788 --> 00:01:44,225
Not your diaphragm.
14
00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:47,744
I was so bored
15
00:01:51,549 --> 00:01:55,092
Look! A welcome mat that
tells you you're weight.
16
00:01:55,456 --> 00:01:56,961
Your weight is...
17
00:01:57,081 --> 00:01:58,606
Warranty voided.
18
00:01:59,462 --> 00:02:01,376
Oh, my God! Look over there!
19
00:02:01,928 --> 00:02:04,456
The Sprinkle King, Sprinkle Queen,
and Deluxe Sprinkle King
20
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:08,600
are the Simon and Garfunkel plus one
of hose nozzle dispersal arrays.
21
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:09,600
Observe.
22
00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:16,360
Classic hose play.
23
00:02:16,606 --> 00:02:19,492
What is that soothing sound?
24
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,291
Maybe it's beef stew!
25
00:02:23,323 --> 00:02:24,639
Hot tubs!
26
00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:26,402
Guys, what's it like?
27
00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:29,000
Getting a back rub from an orgasm.
28
00:02:30,195 --> 00:02:32,302
I want to buy your fanciest hot tub.
29
00:02:32,422 --> 00:02:35,022
You mean the U-Soup 5000!
30
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,787
Please, can I get it, Marge? Please, please?
31
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,361
I can have all my birthday parties in it!
32
00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:43,000
I'll be less stressed!
And I'm really friggin' stressed!
33
00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:48,874
If I'm more relaxed, I'll be a better mom.
34
00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:50,929
Can we? Can we?
35
00:02:51,164 --> 00:02:52,839
Wait a minute. Who am I pleading with?
36
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:53,654
- Beats me.
- I don't know.
37
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:54,405
Please, please, please?
38
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:02,473
Now I know why lobsters let out that joyful
squeal when they're dropped in the pot.
39
00:03:04,237 --> 00:03:06,644
We're starting to attract swingers.
40
00:03:09,811 --> 00:03:10,557
Yes!
41
00:03:12,595 --> 00:03:13,226
I'm on it.
42
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,140
Go back to your day spas!
43
00:03:19,446 --> 00:03:21,081
Maybe we should get out now.
44
00:03:21,116 --> 00:03:22,664
Interesting proposal.
45
00:03:22,699 --> 00:03:25,645
Now with an opposing point of view, bubbles!
46
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,831
Hey, cool your jets!
We're trying to get to sleep!
47
00:03:33,866 --> 00:03:35,889
Hey, Flanders. Why don't you join us?
48
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,951
Afraid you'll get your mustache wet?
49
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:39,942
Well, yes.
50
00:03:39,977 --> 00:03:42,158
Come on, man. Baptise your buns.
51
00:03:58,153 --> 00:04:01,302
I feel like we're forgetting something.
52
00:04:02,113 --> 00:04:04,746
There was a note on
the fridge marked urgent.
53
00:04:04,866 --> 00:04:09,572
Funny word, urgent. Urgent. Urgent.
54
00:04:09,692 --> 00:04:11,520
One of us should go look at it.
55
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,485
Probably a reminder to relax more.
56
00:04:16,415 --> 00:04:18,344
- Yeah.
- That's it.
57
00:04:28,146 --> 00:04:29,085
I'm sorry, Abe.
58
00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:31,226
We just can't wait
for your family any longer.
59
00:04:31,261 --> 00:04:35,092
But they're coming. My son even put
a note on his refrigerator.
60
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:36,105
Please wait.
61
00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:37,444
I'm afraid it's too late.
62
00:04:37,763 --> 00:04:39,303
On your mark, get set.
63
00:04:39,585 --> 00:04:43,038
No!
64
00:04:46,647 --> 00:04:47,524
They're blanks, Abe.
65
00:04:56,455 --> 00:04:57,913
Hey, what happened to the bubbles?
66
00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,012
You good-for-nothing jellyfish!
67
00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:03,123
While you were lying here
soaking like a bunch of dirty dishes,
68
00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:07,997
I was lonelier than Estes Kefauver
at a meeting of Murder Incorporated!
69
00:05:09,438 --> 00:05:11,419
That actually makes sense. Look it up!
70
00:05:27,721 --> 00:05:29,730
Sorry we missed your special day, Grampa.
71
00:05:29,765 --> 00:05:31,523
We'll definitely go next year.
72
00:05:31,643 --> 00:05:34,865
The thing is,
I ain't got much life left to live.
73
00:05:34,985 --> 00:05:38,988
And a wasted daylight today
is what I know I'll never get back.
74
00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:43,772
Oh, Dad! I never knew
you had dreams or emotions.
75
00:05:43,807 --> 00:05:45,261
We'll make it up to you.
76
00:05:45,381 --> 00:05:49,359
We'll do something you've always
wanted to do, but never got the chance.
77
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:54,273
Well, there are a few things I was
hoping to do before I become dust in a jar.
78
00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:56,373
Who said anything about a jar?
79
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,939
Anyway, I made a list.
80
00:05:58,888 --> 00:06:00,015
Okay.
81
00:06:00,285 --> 00:06:01,840
"Things I want to do before I die."
82
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,404
"Pitch in a negro league."
83
00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:05,707
I can at least think of
at least two problems with that.
84
00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:08,346
Can't read that one. My thumb's over it.
85
00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:10,724
"Have one more beer at O'Flanagan's Pub."
86
00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:12,129
We'll do that one.
87
00:06:13,426 --> 00:06:15,281
This place is in Ireland?
88
00:06:15,515 --> 00:06:18,476
That's right.
Now let's make our reservations.
89
00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:21,762
Lousy old man making me
look up at an airplane!
90
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,960
Welcome to Ireland. Also known as
the Emerald Isle, Potatoville, East Boston,
91
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,666
Freckled Bog, the Land of Poetry,
and the Land of Bad Poetry.
92
00:06:34,915 --> 00:06:37,526
And on your left,
you'll see Western Ireland.
93
00:06:37,646 --> 00:06:39,648
On your right, you'll see Kathy Ireland.
94
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,043
Hi, everyone!
95
00:06:46,063 --> 00:06:47,742
I'm finally back.
96
00:06:49,154 --> 00:06:53,617
The days I spent in O'Flanagan's Pub
were the happiest ones of my life.
97
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,291
We drink all day
With all our guilt
98
00:06:56,411 --> 00:06:58,711
We never got *
'Cos we don't wear a kilt
99
00:07:01,143 --> 00:07:03,336
We toss our darts
With a beer in our hand
100
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,837
We boil our food
'Til it tastes really bad
101
00:07:06,429 --> 00:07:13,468
This is the life in Ireland
102
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:15,320
Ireland
103
00:07:37,663 --> 00:07:42,103
Oh, this is the life in Ireland
104
00:07:44,086 --> 00:07:48,761
Dunkilderry is so quaint. It looks like
the puzzle at the pediatrician's office.
105
00:07:50,214 --> 00:07:52,753
Get ready to step back to a simpler age
106
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:57,115
filled with tweet calves,
cheerful sheep and unending troubles.
107
00:08:01,509 --> 00:08:02,120
What the--
108
00:08:02,742 --> 00:08:04,552
Upscale boutiques?
109
00:08:04,881 --> 00:08:06,790
Lephrecauns!
110
00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:08,964
...Plasma screen TV.
111
00:08:10,693 --> 00:08:11,353
...Tuscany.
112
00:08:11,388 --> 00:08:14,594
Well Ireland is at the forefront
of Europe's tech boom.
113
00:08:19,528 --> 00:08:21,205
In your face, Belgium!
114
00:08:21,325 --> 00:08:25,196
Bart, if you hate Belgium so much,
maybe I should take your Tintins away!
115
00:08:25,432 --> 00:08:26,665
No, I'll be good!
116
00:08:29,287 --> 00:08:31,847
But my favorite pub is still there.
117
00:08:36,888 --> 00:08:38,645
This isn't the way I remember it!
118
00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:41,074
Where's the customers? Where's the singing?
119
00:08:41,194 --> 00:08:42,900
Where's twenty-year-old me?
120
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:45,648
Run! Run you big sack of glue!
121
00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:46,957
Tom O'Flanagan?
122
00:08:47,349 --> 00:08:49,162
Quiet! They're in the home stretch now.
123
00:08:49,197 --> 00:08:51,958
Come on, come on. Move your fetlocks!
124
00:08:52,915 --> 00:08:54,829
Dammit! Will you ever win this race?
125
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,605
This broadcast is from 1979.
126
00:08:57,725 --> 00:09:01,365
Yes, I'm just an old man
yelling at me tapes.
127
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:06,644
I've got lots of time for that now.
No one comes into me bar anymore.
128
00:09:06,764 --> 00:09:10,346
It's been years since
I've sold so much as a "pint."
129
00:09:10,381 --> 00:09:11,553
Don't you mean pint?
130
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:13,763
It's been so long,
I've forgotten how to say it!
131
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:17,054
It's a joke to even call
this place a "pube."
132
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,140
What happened, Tom?
133
00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,058
Everyone got jobs. That's what happened.
134
00:09:22,289 --> 00:09:26,781
Sir, I brought my father thousands
of miles just to drink at your bar.
135
00:09:27,023 --> 00:09:30,649
Do you mean it? Look, don't toy
with an old man's heart, now.
136
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:32,398
Give me a beer and a shot of whiskey.
137
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:36,944
I'll have one drink,
one cocktail and one booze, please.
138
00:09:37,983 --> 00:09:42,095
While your father and your grandfather
have a drink, we're gonna see sites.
139
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,831
Hey, I just spent ten hours on a plane.
I'm staying in here.
140
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,476
They've got German Krusty on TV!
141
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:59,211
Such a beautiful language.
142
00:09:59,331 --> 00:10:02,004
That's not how a family vacation works!
143
00:10:02,232 --> 00:10:05,747
We do things together while
your father has fun without us.
144
00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:07,842
All right, Tom. Poor me a drink.
145
00:10:07,877 --> 00:10:09,986
We have this delicious Australian shiraz.
146
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:13,111
An Irish drink!
147
00:10:13,231 --> 00:10:20,452
Oh, fine. Here's some Bushmills whiskey,
served in a potato, floating in a Guinness stout.
148
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:24,694
Why, you-- I said an Irish drink!
149
00:10:25,848 --> 00:10:27,116
That's better!
150
00:10:28,748 --> 00:10:32,868
"The Giant's Causeway
is a result of a volcanic eruption."
151
00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:36,125
Well, kids.
Isn't that an informational fact?
152
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:37,545
Kids?
153
00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:40,716
Come back here!
154
00:10:54,356 --> 00:10:57,012
Guinness has been brewed since 1759.
155
00:10:57,132 --> 00:10:58,768
Who would like to know our secret recipe?
156
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,580
I'm not going to tell you.
157
00:11:01,868 --> 00:11:03,834
Sure, if I did, it wouldn't be a secret.
158
00:11:05,571 --> 00:11:06,803
That concludes our tour.
159
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:19,221
Well. You may know the ingredients,
but you don't know the ratio.
160
00:11:19,256 --> 00:11:20,152
50-50?
161
00:11:27,481 --> 00:11:30,105
At Nick Ellis Island, returning immigrants
162
00:11:30,225 --> 00:11:33,620
who are sick of America
are processed by Irish authorities.
163
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:34,252
Name.
164
00:11:34,372 --> 00:11:35,130
Frank Smith.
165
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,710
From now on, you're Francis *. Next.
166
00:11:37,745 --> 00:11:40,425
Bill Jones. Seamus Fitzpatrick. Next.
167
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,926
You're Liam Fitzpatrick,
and you're brothers with him.
168
00:11:45,363 --> 00:11:48,204
I said you're brothers!
I didn't say you got along!
169
00:11:53,508 --> 00:11:56,361
They say if you kiss the Blarney Stone,
you get the gift of gab.
170
00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:58,163
Which is great. But I'm not sure I like
171
00:11:58,198 --> 00:12:00,552
the idea of getting
a gift in return for kissing.
172
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,900
What kind of a message
is that for Lisa and Maggie?
173
00:12:02,935 --> 00:12:03,619
Those are my daughters.
174
00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:07,160
But on the other hand, America doesn't
have any stones worth kissing.
175
00:12:07,195 --> 00:12:09,596
Except for Stone Phillips.
Do you have one of him here?
176
00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:11,971
If so, he's our your him.
177
00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:22,027
K-I-S-S M-Y A-S-S spells kiss my ass.
178
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:26,875
Fresh!
179
00:12:28,936 --> 00:12:31,060
I'm gonna carve me initials in it!
180
00:12:33,362 --> 00:12:34,547
Har, har!
181
00:12:35,499 --> 00:12:42,646
This is the life in Ireland
182
00:12:43,944 --> 00:12:44,787
You okay, Dad?
183
00:12:44,907 --> 00:12:48,343
I just had a nightmare!
That I was back with your mother!
184
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,060
Oh, how I miss her.
185
00:12:58,326 --> 00:12:59,963
Ah, there they are.
186
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,250
Duncle Deli's newest haven keepers.
187
00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:05,413
Last night, you said you never
wanted to leave this pub.
188
00:13:05,448 --> 00:13:07,058
So, you bought it from me.
189
00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:08,191
We what?
190
00:13:08,311 --> 00:13:10,531
All these pictures tell no lies.
191
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:15,101
There's you meeting with the loan officer,
and the title insurance company.
192
00:13:15,136 --> 00:13:17,253
Here's me replacing the window sashes
193
00:13:17,288 --> 00:13:20,891
that had the termite damage
as per the escrow agreement.
194
00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:23,498
I have to say, for blind drunks,
195
00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:26,634
you had a excellent knowledge
of Irish real estate law.
196
00:13:26,962 --> 00:13:28,653
We bought this dump?
197
00:13:28,994 --> 00:13:31,440
You most certainly did.
198
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:33,496
What the--
199
00:13:39,711 --> 00:13:41,473
So long, suckers!
200
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,842
Well, Dad. Was there anything on your
list about being cheated by an Irishman?
201
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:49,232
First one from the bottom.
202
00:13:50,979 --> 00:13:51,502
D'oh!
203
00:13:51,537 --> 00:13:53,027
That takes care of my next one.
204
00:13:57,260 --> 00:13:58,717
Never heard of half this stuff.
205
00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:02,136
This brandy is fifty years old!
206
00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:03,439
Better toss it.
207
00:14:04,414 --> 00:14:07,814
Hey, boy-o! How 'bout a tall cool one?
208
00:14:08,754 --> 00:14:09,971
How 'bout you, green sleeves?
209
00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:11,291
Irishmen love to get drunk.
210
00:14:11,411 --> 00:14:14,166
- I'm in AA.
- Who are you? Stuttering Fonzie?
211
00:14:15,539 --> 00:14:16,887
What about you, bicycle pants?
212
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:19,638
I'm late for a teleconference
in Hong Kong, you fat gob!
213
00:14:25,237 --> 00:14:26,576
Our first sale.
214
00:14:27,609 --> 00:14:28,932
Our first refund.
215
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,574
Find any customers?
216
00:14:31,694 --> 00:14:33,932
Yeah! Look at them crowding the bar.
217
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:37,053
There's Sully and Mac, Jimmy D and Jimmy B.
218
00:14:37,173 --> 00:14:39,685
What can I get you boys? The usual?
219
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:41,243
We are so screwed.
220
00:14:45,190 --> 00:14:47,341
Oh, it must be Bloomsday!
221
00:14:47,461 --> 00:14:48,076
Huh?
222
00:14:48,196 --> 00:14:51,105
Every June 16th, lovers of
James Joyce follow the route
223
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,692
travelled by the Leopold Bloom
in the novel Ulysses.
224
00:14:54,638 --> 00:14:55,851
Let me make a note of that.
225
00:14:59,207 --> 00:15:02,178
What you're saying is,
we've run out of fun things to do.
226
00:15:02,298 --> 00:15:03,162
Pretty much, yep.
227
00:15:03,282 --> 00:15:04,695
There's always something to do in Ireland.
228
00:15:04,918 --> 00:15:07,135
I'm trying to will back a girl
that I met in a music shop.
229
00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:09,095
Watch this, kids.
230
00:15:10,532 --> 00:15:16,797
I don't know you
But I want you
231
00:15:17,231 --> 00:15:18,960
All the mo--
232
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,193
Leave me alone! I have a husband!
233
00:15:21,461 --> 00:15:23,745
And quit sending her pianos!
234
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,770
Ireland doesn't like pubs anymore.
235
00:15:31,049 --> 00:15:35,209
It's as if Danish people stopped
liking sleek modern design.
236
00:15:35,329 --> 00:15:38,133
Bite your tongue!
That will never ever happen!
237
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,390
Well, we need help!
238
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:45,164
Someone who can make money with a bar
that has no customers and zero charm.
239
00:15:48,309 --> 00:15:51,042
Moe! You shipped yourself here?
240
00:15:51,162 --> 00:15:53,240
No. It's how you fly coach on Delta now.
241
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,916
Moe, something terrible has happened.
242
00:15:55,036 --> 00:15:57,346
The Irish have become
hard-working and sober!
243
00:15:57,466 --> 00:15:59,093
Here's how you turn this place around.
244
00:15:59,213 --> 00:16:03,600
I let people do things in my bar
they can't do nowhere else.
245
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,307
You wanna drink on a Sunday morning,
no problem.
246
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:07,986
You wanna slow dance with a goat,
247
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:10,889
I'll be doing a lot of things,
but judging ain't one of them.
248
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,633
Are you saying we should break the law?
249
00:16:14,008 --> 00:16:15,585
The law? That jerk!
250
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:20,656
What can't people do in modern Ireland?
251
00:16:23,837 --> 00:16:26,785
Well, they're certainly liberal
when it comes to romance.
252
00:16:29,776 --> 00:16:32,458
Sorry, but smoking in pubs
ain't part of the new Ireland.
253
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:34,094
Also, you can't text while driving.
254
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,995
What has happened to the ways of old?
255
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:40,127
People can't smoke indoors in Ireland!
256
00:16:40,162 --> 00:16:42,495
Then you let them. Open a smokeasy.
257
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,684
Gentlemen, we have a lot of work to do.
258
00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:02,498
Moe, you were right!
259
00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:06,977
Thanks. Now I'm gonna look for my
grandfather based on this childhood photo.
260
00:17:07,012 --> 00:17:10,223
All I remember about him is he
was part of a complete breakfast.
261
00:17:12,472 --> 00:17:16,903
The day they banned smoking
from pubs, a little bit of Ireland died.
262
00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:21,421
But thanks to these two sweet Yanks,
our lungs are black with joy.
263
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,195
To Homer and his da!
264
00:17:23,315 --> 00:17:25,086
Homer and his da!
265
00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:29,823
Well, Da. It looks like
all your "dur" have come "ter."
266
00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:32,794
My son's first stroke!
267
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:42,283
Look at all this Euro dough.
These shamrock sure love their tobaccy.
268
00:17:43,677 --> 00:17:46,063
So, it's a smokeasy you're running, then.
269
00:17:47,281 --> 00:17:49,152
So, it's escaping you're thinking of, then.
270
00:17:49,187 --> 00:17:51,356
I can't tell if those
are questions or statements.
271
00:17:51,391 --> 00:17:54,459
So, it's our syntax
you're criticizing, then.
272
00:17:54,753 --> 00:17:56,288
Close her down, boys.
273
00:18:10,011 --> 00:18:11,362
Throw them in the potty wagon.
274
00:18:12,695 --> 00:18:14,098
I mean the us wagon.
275
00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:27,832
Son, this was all my fault. You were
just trying to make an old man happy.
276
00:18:27,952 --> 00:18:30,450
Don't worry, Dad. We'll get out.
277
00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:33,209
America is the New York Yankees
of countries.
278
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,771
Powerful and respected until the year 2000.
279
00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:39,904
Oh, Son. You know how I love a good analogy.
280
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:41,987
It was apt.
281
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:44,977
Let me say, I've always admired the Irish.
282
00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:49,331
Knute Rockne, Larry Bird
and especially Mr. Potato Head.
283
00:18:49,966 --> 00:18:50,629
Go on.
284
00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:54,650
But I ask you.
Who does smoking actually hurt?
285
00:18:54,770 --> 00:18:58,854
Except the smokers, those around them,
and the unborn children
286
00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:02,820
of the pregnant women we let in free
on "expecting mothers drink free" night.
287
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,396
So I hope you'll forgive
two well-meaning Americans
288
00:19:07,516 --> 00:19:12,493
for trying to take Ireland back
to the good old days of Angela's Ashes.
289
00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:13,433
Thank you.
290
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:18,561
That was absolutely terrible.
But fortunately for you,
291
00:19:18,596 --> 00:19:21,809
the policemen fear offences.
Deportation and a small fine.
292
00:19:22,197 --> 00:19:23,362
Thank you, your honor.
293
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:27,022
And may I say,
I'm glad I could see Ireland again.
294
00:19:27,142 --> 00:19:29,084
Even if it isn't what I remembered.
295
00:19:29,388 --> 00:19:33,531
It got a lot nicer since we sent
all our incompetent half-wits to America.
296
00:19:33,651 --> 00:19:36,135
Where you, for some reason,
made them police officers.
297
00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:38,358
Top of the morning to you.
298
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,915
Chief Clancy Wiggum here to pick up
the Simpsons and take them back to the--
299
00:19:42,666 --> 00:19:43,734
Oh, Jesus.
300
00:19:44,145 --> 00:19:45,888
Better put a little ouchy spray on it.
301
00:19:50,736 --> 00:19:53,294
Boy! I better call for some backup.
302
00:19:54,212 --> 00:19:55,934
This is unit 19--