1 00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:12,604 I am so stoked about Lenny's party. 2 00:01:12,666 --> 00:01:14,658 He said he's gonna make a surprise announcement. 3 00:01:14,692 --> 00:01:16,908 Maybe he's getting married. 4 00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:19,310 Why the hell would he want to do that... 5 00:01:19,488 --> 00:01:22,697 blessed sacrament that has made my life so rich? 6 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,514 I like your hat, sweetie. 7 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,939 I'm not wearing a hat. 8 00:01:25,988 --> 00:01:27,482 I mean, the one at the house. 9 00:01:30,993 --> 00:01:33,342 Another party and we cain't go. 10 00:01:33,415 --> 00:01:37,226 Yeah. Just 'cause we's afraid of using the uppity box. 11 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:40,212 Hey, Ned. 12 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,713 Ain't no party like a Lenny party 'cause a Lenny party don't stop. 13 00:01:44,593 --> 00:01:45,937 I got to work tomorrow. 14 00:01:46,013 --> 00:01:46,338 I better go. 15 00:01:48,697 --> 00:01:54,895 My god. How did Lenny get to be newsfake magazine's man of the year? 16 00:01:54,992 --> 00:01:57,594 That's just a souvenir from an amusement park. 17 00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:58,497 What? 18 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:01,055 Next you'll be telling me he didn't meet Woody Woodpecker. 19 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,472 I dated the woman in that suit for three months. 20 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,992 Then she left me for the guy who cleans the vomit off the roller coasters. 21 00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:11,107 Hey, Lenny, I see you cut the celery at an angle here. 22 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:14,023 Makes my straight-cut celery look like crap. 23 00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,856 Attention, everybody! 24 00:02:17,917 --> 00:02:18,999 Please shut up! 25 00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:22,211 I know you're all wondering why you're here. 26 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,451 The fact is, I'm dying... 27 00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:27,257 ...to tell you that I have adopted... 28 00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:29,114 ...a new faith... 29 00:02:29,879 --> 00:02:33,530 ...in the power of technological advances to make me happy. 30 00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:37,560 That's right, I've got a new plasma screen HDTV! 31 00:02:39,585 --> 00:02:43,261 I've never seen a picture so highly defined! 32 00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:46,102 Lenny, this tv is amazing. 33 00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:50,413 If you're not careful, I might just spend the rest of my life on your couch. 34 00:02:51,574 --> 00:02:53,245 You don't mean that literally, of course. 35 00:02:53,516 --> 00:02:54,878 You're right, Lenny. I... 36 00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:22,040 Lenny, bring me a beer and your deepest chamber pot. 37 00:03:22,162 --> 00:03:22,628 Chop-chop. 38 00:03:25,962 --> 00:03:28,742 Look at that picture quality. 39 00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:32,415 You can see the soulless emptiness in that shark's eyes. 40 00:03:33,192 --> 00:03:35,409 Two and a half men. 41 00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:39,998 You can see the soulless emptiness in Charlie Sheen's eyes. 42 00:03:41,229 --> 00:03:42,741 Dad, please come home. 43 00:03:42,852 --> 00:03:43,963 We miss you. 44 00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:46,649 Is that a high-def tv?! 45 00:03:46,774 --> 00:03:48,895 Mom didn't say anything about high-def! 46 00:03:51,388 --> 00:03:53,429 Later, if I have enough energy, we can walk 47 00:03:53,454 --> 00:03:56,273 up to the tv and I'll show you how thin it is. 48 00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:59,355 Wow, there's a rainbow outside. 49 00:03:59,567 --> 00:04:00,108 Oh, yeah? 50 00:04:00,182 --> 00:04:03,671 Well, right there's a commercial with a dancing cold sore. 51 00:04:04,028 --> 00:04:05,290 Break out! 52 00:04:05,836 --> 00:04:07,346 Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! 53 00:04:08,294 --> 00:04:09,184 Break out! 54 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,713 Ha-ha! Hoo-hoo! Ha-ha! 55 00:04:11,936 --> 00:04:12,847 Ha! Hoo-hoo! 56 00:04:13,094 --> 00:04:14,186 He-he-ha! Ha-ha! 57 00:04:19,188 --> 00:04:22,401 And bodell jenks the third crashes into bodell jenks! 58 00:04:22,835 --> 00:04:25,331 The winner is Bodell Jenks, junior! 59 00:04:27,573 --> 00:04:30,407 wow, I can actually feel the heat. 60 00:04:30,448 --> 00:04:32,712 Beat it. This is my alone time. 61 00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:35,675 Can you at least take a picture of me with the tv? 62 00:04:35,723 --> 00:04:37,510 I ain't fallin' for that again. 63 00:04:37,763 --> 00:04:39,851 Yeah. Good times. 64 00:04:41,579 --> 00:04:43,731 Stupid non-plasma tv. 65 00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:45,256 Picture so blurry. 66 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,162 Might as well rub dirt in my eyes. 67 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,839 Homie, I've been thinking. 68 00:04:48,938 --> 00:04:51,699 We have been using this tv for a long time, 69 00:04:51,999 --> 00:04:56,649 so I entered a contest where the first prize is a plasma screen tv. 70 00:04:57,349 --> 00:04:59,270 Marge! I love you! I love you! 71 00:04:59,319 --> 00:05:00,134 I love you! 72 00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,926 Now i really hope we win that contest. 73 00:05:06,957 --> 00:05:08,326 There's a chance we won't win?! 74 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:18,215 My collection is complete. 75 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,168 40 years of the family circus. 76 00:05:28,359 --> 00:05:29,060 Y'ello. 77 00:05:29,075 --> 00:05:30,688 Congratulations, Mr. Simpson. 78 00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:31,407 You've won. 79 00:05:31,484 --> 00:05:32,787 The big screen tv? 80 00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,484 No. No one wins that. 81 00:05:34,558 --> 00:05:38,644 You won third prize, a tour of the FOX network in los angeles, california. 82 00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,164 All expenses paid? 83 00:05:40,426 --> 00:05:42,113 Look, I gotta go. 84 00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:54,410 Here's where we make the best damn sports show, period. 85 00:05:54,486 --> 00:05:58,295 And there's where we make "the worst damn comedy show, period." 86 00:06:01,106 --> 00:06:01,967 why look. 87 00:06:01,991 --> 00:06:04,959 There's Dan Castellaneta from the Tracey Ullman show. 88 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,329 Hey, funny man! 89 00:06:06,578 --> 00:06:08,477 Say something funny! 90 00:06:08,766 --> 00:06:11,065 Please don't lean out of the tram, sir. 91 00:06:11,114 --> 00:06:11,791 You might get hurt. 92 00:06:11,815 --> 00:06:13,733 Don't lean out of the tram... 93 00:06:15,978 --> 00:06:18,550 Here's where we develop our many reality shows. 94 00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:19,937 There's dwarf or midget: 95 00:06:19,974 --> 00:06:23,144 America decides, and million dollar fart-off. 96 00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,235 Mother Flippers? 97 00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:27,556 What's this show about? 98 00:06:27,575 --> 00:06:30,834 This is a reality program, dear, where we take wives from 99 00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:34,018 two very different families and they trade places for a month. 100 00:06:34,111 --> 00:06:36,820 I already saw that exact same show on another network. 101 00:06:37,494 --> 00:06:39,990 Here, sweetie, have a FOX sweatshirt. 102 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:43,236 This is an abc sweatshirt. 103 00:06:43,274 --> 00:06:45,074 Yeah, and it zips all the way up. 104 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,086 Spray 'em down! 105 00:06:56,881 --> 00:06:59,180 So, what's the prize on this wife swap show? 106 00:06:59,242 --> 00:07:02,272 About enough to buy a new plasma tv. 107 00:07:02,678 --> 00:07:05,104 That's just the product I've been coveting! 108 00:07:05,165 --> 00:07:06,150 Pick us! Pick us! 109 00:07:06,268 --> 00:07:07,272 Not so fast. 110 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:10,251 Are you sure you want your most intimate moments broadcast across the 111 00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:10,804 country? 112 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:11,717 Are you kidding? 113 00:07:11,778 --> 00:07:13,057 Take a look at my dvd. 114 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,788 They'll never let me near lake havasu again. 115 00:07:17,327 --> 00:07:18,716 What are you doing, Homer? 116 00:07:18,863 --> 00:07:22,717 I'm signing us up for a reality show where we trade you to another family. 117 00:07:22,861 --> 00:07:25,418 Well, that might be interesting. 118 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,271 Or it could damage many, many lives. 119 00:07:28,369 --> 00:07:30,714 Marge, you're the greatest mom ever. 120 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,895 I want the whole world to see that. 121 00:07:32,939 --> 00:07:34,867 That's very sweet, but I... 122 00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:36,345 Look, ma'am, I've done a lot of these. 123 00:07:36,382 --> 00:07:38,521 Everybody has fun, no one gets hurt 124 00:07:38,634 --> 00:07:40,545 and you make a lot of money you could really use. 125 00:07:40,623 --> 00:07:43,090 And if you say yes now, it'll make a great act break. 126 00:07:45,626 --> 00:07:46,554 I'll do it! 127 00:07:46,690 --> 00:07:48,213 Perfect. But could you say it again 128 00:07:48,328 --> 00:07:49,934 with more emphasis on the "I'll"? 129 00:07:50,141 --> 00:07:51,216 I'll do it. 130 00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:53,033 No, no, go back to the first way. 131 00:07:53,277 --> 00:07:54,268 I'll do it. 132 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,868 Wait, I wasn't happy with that. 133 00:07:56,037 --> 00:07:57,998 You know what, just do it the way it feels comfortable to you. 134 00:07:58,185 --> 00:08:01,492 I'll do it. I'll do it! 135 00:08:01,751 --> 00:08:05,570 I'll do it. I'll do it. 136 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,701 I'll... do... it. 137 00:08:07,876 --> 00:08:08,638 How was that? 138 00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,312 We'll get it later. 139 00:08:13,108 --> 00:08:14,893 Verity, who will be your new mom, 140 00:08:15,104 --> 00:08:17,417 is the youngest-ever full professor at yale. 141 00:08:17,574 --> 00:08:20,005 I got my tenure at 28. 142 00:08:20,117 --> 00:08:21,129 Oh, really? 143 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,359 Bart, when did you get your tenure? 144 00:08:24,430 --> 00:08:26,342 I got my tenure right here. 145 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:29,383 Yeah, well I have full tenure. 146 00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,647 We better pixelate those. 147 00:08:33,702 --> 00:08:35,507 There aren't enough pixels in the world! 148 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:39,233 Yeah, just cover it with Ryan seacrest's head. 149 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:40,696 This is Charles. 150 00:08:40,759 --> 00:08:42,042 You can call me Charlie. 151 00:08:42,170 --> 00:08:44,842 But do not call me late when there are scones about. 152 00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:47,863 It's a little british humor. 153 00:08:48,922 --> 00:08:51,500 I'll bet the twist is he's gay. 154 00:08:51,685 --> 00:08:54,273 Your two families will exchange wives for a month, 155 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:58,233 then a viewer vote will decide who they think is the least reprehensible. 156 00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:00,140 I don't understand, dad. 157 00:09:00,393 --> 00:09:02,292 Our family has so many flaws. 158 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,386 Why must we share them with the world? 159 00:09:04,471 --> 00:09:09,845 Because we'll be on tv, and earn enough money to buy a tv. 160 00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:11,492 Tv. 161 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,396 But dad... 162 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,629 yes, tv-sa? 163 00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:15,364 Forget it. 164 00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:17,896 Listen up, stonehenge. 165 00:09:17,995 --> 00:09:21,496 I made a drawing of the places on Marge you can't touch. 166 00:09:21,951 --> 00:09:23,088 Especially the hair. 167 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,542 Oh, you needn't worry. 168 00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,752 I'm a bit of an elbow man, myself, actually. 169 00:09:27,546 --> 00:09:29,009 A bit different, a bit weird. 170 00:09:29,524 --> 00:09:30,160 Not sexual. 171 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:33,276 You take forever to say nothing. 172 00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:37,346 You know, you don't seem like the money-hungry 173 00:09:37,399 --> 00:09:39,726 semi-stripper who's usually on FOX. 174 00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:40,474 Why'd you do it? 175 00:09:40,553 --> 00:09:42,358 Well, I thought there was no further way 176 00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:46,552 I could humiliate my husband, and then this opportunity came along. 177 00:09:47,415 --> 00:09:48,343 I see. 178 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,915 Well, I should be getting to the living room. 179 00:09:51,146 --> 00:09:53,651 You know, I despise my husband. 180 00:09:53,688 --> 00:09:56,620 Well, he didn't get the prize pig at the fair, either. 181 00:09:56,687 --> 00:09:59,056 Charles hasn't satisfied me in years. 182 00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,420 Yeah, that's how I feel about Notre Dame football. 183 00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:04,173 Cruel, dusty years. 184 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,815 I don't know why I ever married that woman. 185 00:10:11,782 --> 00:10:14,213 So, Charles, what do you do for a living? 186 00:10:14,328 --> 00:10:17,146 Well, I'm an office manager, and, no, 187 00:10:17,324 --> 00:10:19,723 I didn't even get a promotion today, again. 188 00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:21,119 So, go on, go ahead. 189 00:10:21,164 --> 00:10:23,679 Disembowel me with your pointy, pointy words. 190 00:10:23,754 --> 00:10:27,219 Really? You manage a whole office? 191 00:10:28,347 --> 00:10:28,900 Yes. 192 00:10:29,722 --> 00:10:32,174 Yes. Yes I do, actually. 193 00:10:32,394 --> 00:10:34,450 Well, that's very impressive. 194 00:10:34,576 --> 00:10:37,352 Does that include the people and the furniture? 195 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,569 Yeah, and I decide where the christmas party's held. 196 00:10:40,756 --> 00:10:42,603 Actually, it's decided by committee, but, you know, 197 00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:43,719 I choose the committee. 198 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:44,342 Hello. 199 00:10:47,825 --> 00:10:50,590 I don't, I don't choose the committee as such, 200 00:10:50,664 --> 00:10:52,928 but, you know, I choose where they meet. 201 00:10:53,302 --> 00:10:56,109 This year I am thinking of conference room "C." 202 00:10:57,572 --> 00:11:00,243 That leaves "a" and "b" available for overflow. 203 00:11:00,372 --> 00:11:01,708 Well done! 204 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,935 Bart, I told you no television till you do the dishes. 205 00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:15,443 And I do not call that doing the dishes. 206 00:11:19,468 --> 00:11:23,204 well, my mom says why bother punishing me, I never learn. 207 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,880 Disgusting. 208 00:11:31,281 --> 00:11:35,319 Young man, I'm going to turn that cartoon into homework! 209 00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:36,301 Help me, cameraman. 210 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,193 I let you smoke a cigarette in my bedroom. 211 00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:39,038 That was a joint. 212 00:11:39,119 --> 00:11:40,580 And I have a name. It's Doug. 213 00:11:40,864 --> 00:11:43,035 "Then itchy used an ice cream scoop 214 00:11:43,094 --> 00:11:45,536 "to scoop out scratchy's heart and make it a sundae. 215 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:46,240 The end." 216 00:11:46,631 --> 00:11:51,442 Now, Homer, would you care to give your report on CSI: Miami? 217 00:11:55,034 --> 00:11:56,474 "there's this guy that got killed. 218 00:11:56,531 --> 00:11:57,995 "I think it was in Miami. 219 00:11:58,126 --> 00:12:00,672 "So CSI: Miami investigated-ed it. 220 00:12:00,923 --> 00:12:03,527 "Then a family said how much they loved the olive garden. 221 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:04,835 "Then I fell asleep. 222 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,503 When I woke up, Letterman was talking to Alias." 223 00:12:14,249 --> 00:12:16,253 That's wonderful. 224 00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:17,288 Indeed. 225 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,304 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a mandarin chinese lesson. 226 00:12:20,423 --> 00:12:21,310 Xie xie. 227 00:12:21,504 --> 00:12:22,161 Zai jian. 228 00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:26,410 He's a very impressive boy. 229 00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,245 The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 230 00:12:28,475 --> 00:12:31,324 A tree that's been alone for far too long. 231 00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:32,375 I don't get it. 232 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,580 Are you saying you're the tree? 233 00:12:34,776 --> 00:12:35,350 Maybe. 234 00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:36,593 Are my roots showing? 235 00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:38,649 Wordplay, brilliant. 236 00:12:39,122 --> 00:12:39,999 Would you like to hear a joke? 237 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,012 As long as it's not a knock-knock joke. 238 00:12:42,186 --> 00:12:44,481 I always ruin them by saying, "come in." 239 00:12:44,587 --> 00:12:47,321 No, no. This joke is actually quite funny. 240 00:12:47,856 --> 00:12:50,777 You see, this man, he finds a magic lamp, 241 00:12:50,952 --> 00:12:52,236 and a genie comes out. 242 00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:53,300 That's funny. 243 00:12:53,394 --> 00:12:54,166 That's just the setup. 244 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,880 Well, you've set me up, for laughs down the road. 245 00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,060 So the genie says, "I'll give you three wishes, 246 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,140 "but whatever you get, your wife gets double." 247 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,490 Okay? Remember that. 248 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:06,110 How nice for her. 249 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,520 Now, here's the humor. 250 00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,800 The man says, "I want a new car. 251 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:12,600 The genie says, "your wife gets two." 252 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:14,020 Okay, remember the double? 253 00:13:15,020 --> 00:13:17,370 The man says, "I want a new house." 254 00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:19,790 So the genie says, "your wife gets two." 255 00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:22,670 So the man says... 256 00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,350 "beat me half to death." 257 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:27,870 It's funny. 258 00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:28,430 Don't you get it? 259 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,140 'Cause she gets double, so if he gets beaten 260 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,670 half to death, the wife would be beaten to death. 261 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,320 That sounds horrible. 262 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,430 I agree, terrible. 263 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:39,700 Offensive towards women. 264 00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:41,570 Little amusing, don't you think? 265 00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:42,430 No! 266 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,070 Me, either. 267 00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:44,270 Spousal abuse. 268 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,110 It's, uh, it's a real problem. 269 00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:45,680 It's not funny. 270 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:46,790 It's tragic, if anything so... 271 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:49,130 well, I liked the genie part. That was fun. 272 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:49,790 You think so? 273 00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:51,900 Yes, I could really picture him. 274 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:54,990 With curly shoes and smoke all over the place. 275 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:57,220 You're a born storyteller. 276 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,570 Well, yeah, I suppose I am, yeah. 277 00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:01,570 Yeah, not a murderer. 278 00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:02,410 No. 279 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:04,950 Would you like to hear another joke? 280 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,500 I sure would. 281 00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:08,300 Let me just get us some iced tea. 282 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:13,840 One more kind word from her and I am completely smitten. 283 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,800 Your toaster takes bagels. 284 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:17,810 How ritzy. 285 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:19,680 And there we have it. 286 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,290 what's that delicious smell? 287 00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:29,550 I'm burning all your underwear. 288 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,500 what's with the kimono? 289 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,190 "Are we having Lachoy?" 290 00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,680 No Marge, 291 00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:42,340 I was just sitting around drinking Vermouth 292 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,480 and contemplating how, just when you're drowning 293 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,840 in a pit of despair, life can throw you a beautiful blue life preserver. 294 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:51,230 I thought life preservers only came in orange. 295 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:54,610 Because wouldn't it be hard to see blue in the ocean? 296 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:55,530 Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. 297 00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:57,530 No logic. Not tonight. 298 00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,640 Where's Ben? 299 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:00,980 The housekeeper took him out for a walk. 300 00:15:03,180 --> 00:15:05,530 How long do we have to stay here? 301 00:15:05,630 --> 00:15:07,870 Till I'm sick of drinking these, 302 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,480 and I'm never sick of drinkin' these. 303 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,930 That's right, it just gets worse. 304 00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:23,450 So, you see, we have the whole house to ourselves. 305 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,450 Oh, who left this here? 306 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,630 Did I tell you I'm a bit of a songwriter? 307 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,200 Words and music, hold the applause. 308 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:33,870 I wrote this song for a woman. 309 00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:34,910 You. 310 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,660 What an odd thing for a man who's not interested in me to do. 311 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,310 Yes. Not interested. 312 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,000 Let me just breathe your scent for a moment before I play. 313 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,650 Lady when you came to me, 314 00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:58,790 I was feeling blue 315 00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:02,480 blue just like your hair, you see 316 00:16:02,910 --> 00:16:04,770 blue just like the moon 317 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:10,500 but only when the moon is blue and not when it is cream 318 00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:16,560 and now that you are here with me I am in a dream oh, 319 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,570 Yeah, Marge, your dreams can come true. 320 00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:27,000 Lady, when you go away I feel like I could die 321 00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:30,410 not like dye like your hair is dyed 322 00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:34,560 but die like Lady Di and not Like Di 323 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,880 like her name is Di but die like when she died. 324 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:48,730 But lady just like lady di be my princess tonight 325 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:51,660 but don't die don't die. 326 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:52,880 No way. 327 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,930 That song was very nice. 328 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,050 How'd you think up so many rhyming words? 329 00:16:57,140 --> 00:16:58,300 Marge, I love you. 330 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,790 And I can tell from your basic level of courtesy 331 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:01,950 that you love me, too. 332 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,450 What?! No. 333 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:06,920 Listen, Charles, I don't want to hurt your feelings... 334 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:08,280 because you love me, right? 335 00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:10,660 Admit it. We were born to fall into 336 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,900 each others' arms on reality tv. 337 00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:14,410 I'm sorry, but I love Homer. 338 00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:16,760 Of course you do. 339 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,190 He's a real man, not like me, 340 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,120 a miserable toad under the thumb of the biggest bitch this side 341 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,910 of the Westminster Kennel Club. 342 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,840 Charles, please, your son might see this. 343 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,240 He's not my son. 344 00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:29,940 His real father is either the pool man 345 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,030 or my wife's lover. 346 00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:35,040 They're the main two candidates I've narrowed it down to. 347 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:35,690 Pretty sure. 348 00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:37,830 There, there. 349 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,590 God, I miss Homer. 350 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,900 I miss him, too. 351 00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:43,830 What is it about him that is so damned irresistible? 352 00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:44,810 Well... 353 00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:48,620 he's loved me ever since the first moment he saw me, 354 00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:49,930 and he's never stopped. 355 00:17:50,180 --> 00:17:52,110 And whatever it takes to make me happy, 356 00:17:52,110 --> 00:17:54,250 he'll do it even if it kills him. 357 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,220 Sorry, I ran out of tape just before that beautiful speech of hers. 358 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,770 But I got a great shot of him saying his son's a bastard. 359 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:06,210 Lisa, que fais tu dans cet Etat? 360 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:08,400 La Fox m'a envoyée ici pour venir te chercher. 361 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,350 J'ai eu le droit de prendre FreedoLance Air Force Yum. 362 00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:12,840 Et je suis contrainte de dire, 363 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,290 'Rejoins moi dans le ranch des saveurs Robben, HiHa!' 364 00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:17,920 Rentrons a la maison chérie. 365 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:20,690 Je suis sure que ton père nous attends. 366 00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:23,940 Et je viens avec vous pour dire à ma sorcière de femme : 367 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,040 'tu es virée'. 368 00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:30,640 J'imitais Donald Trump, dans 'Le milliardaire'. 369 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,400 Si vous saviez de qui je parle, vous seriez mortes de rire. 370 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,870 Je sais qui est Donald Trump. 371 00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:36,730 Moi aussi. 372 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,150 Je ne pense pas. 373 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,280 Bande d'abrutis. 374 00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:45,440 Je ne la vois nul part. 375 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,180 Il est temps pour Homer de redevenir Homer. 376 00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:56,770 Homer, tu m'as tellement manqué. 377 00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,260 Remets ton pantalon. 378 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:02,250 Oh Marge, merci mon Dieu, tu es de retour. 379 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,040 Elle m'a fait passer du temps avec les enfants. 380 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,400 Et le temps pour la télévision est devenu un temps de dialogue. 381 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:09,600 Où est elle? 382 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,140 Où est cette suceuse d'âme? 383 00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,240 Magie? 384 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:15,140 Dans son berceau. 385 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:18,090 Non, je parle de ma future ex femme. 386 00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:21,840 Je... Je ne suis pas sur que vous vouliez la voir,là maintenant. 387 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,120 Oh que si. 388 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,240 Elle va avoir le choc de sa vie. 389 00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,890 Charles, je te quitte. 390 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,590 Tu roupilles, tu perds. 391 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,070 Tu me quittes pour lui. 392 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,560 C'est ce que l'on pourrait penser. 393 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,560 Mais le cousin Ed' est né femme. 394 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:38,900 Ce qui nous a rapproché, c'est notrehaine pour toi. 395 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,570 Et bien je vais voter 'NON' à ce 38ème amandement, 396 00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:43,010 et vous ne pourrez pas adopter. 397 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,430 Je plaisante. Je plaisante. 398 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,560 Je ne vote pas. Le bureau de vote est en haut 399 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,730 de la colline, et je n'y arrive jamais. 400 00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:57,230 Tu me fais rire, tu me fais pleurer. 401 00:19:57,470 --> 00:20:00,280 Sans toi je voudrais simplement mourir. 402 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,750 Pour le reste de ma vie, tu seras une révélation. 403 00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:09,220 Laisse moi donc admirer ton image. 404 00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,480 Et Marge, tu assures aussi. 405 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,880 Ouais, si tu veux. 406 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,580 transcript: scarfo synchro: Ale, Marcel & Toki 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net