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The Simpsons
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D'oh!
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What? Can't we sit on the couch
without something happening?
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D'oh!
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I can't believe Mr. Burns reserved
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the entire museum
just for an office party.
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It doesn't seem fair
to the regular visitors.
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We drove 18 hours to come here.
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On the plus side,
this rope is mighty soft.
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Mmm. Touch it, kids.
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Mmm.
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Party! Party! Party!
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Homer, these are
people you work with.
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Show some restraint.
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Restraint!
Restraint! Restraint!
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Mm-mm-mm.
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Lighten up, Marge.
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This is my chance to relax with
people from work I never get to see.
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Like this guy.
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I'm your supervisor.
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Really? How am I doing?
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Well, well, if it isn't my favorite
employee and his spouse.
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And these must be children.
Have a ginger root.
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Mr. Burns acting nice? That's odd.
He must be up to something.
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Lise, Mr. Burns is the sweetest,
kindest man I know.
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How many men do you know?
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Basically, him and Dad.
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Nice tux, Moe.
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Yeah, thanks.
I bought this for my funeral.
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It ain't got no back so don't
make me turn around.
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Hm.
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Hey, I'm paying for a silk-lined coffin,
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And damn it,
I'm gonna feel it.
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Since the dawn of aviation,
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man has built museums dedicated
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to the history of flight and
created audiovisual materials
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to orient visitors to those museums.
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From the hand-drawn flip book
at the Wright Brothers Museum
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to the IMAX movie at Cape Canaveral,
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aviation museum
audiovisual materials
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have taken patrons and docents alike
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On a rocket ride to comprehension.
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This is the story of those materials.
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Hey, it's a guy in a goofy Burns head!
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Act like Burns.
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That's him to a tee!
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Here we have a vintage film of the
original Springfield Wing Walkers
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Including our own Agnes Skinner.
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Wow, a wooden plane.
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It's about time trees
were good for something
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instead of just
standing there like jerks!
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"The Plywood Pelican was
larger than a football field.
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"It weighs more than
the state of New Hampshire.
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"It was only flown once by its
creator, Mr. C. Montgomery Burns."
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I flew it at an altitude of 6 feet
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for a distance of 4 and a half feet.
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Then we discovered
rain makes it catch fire.
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Then the Fuhrer fired me.
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What a magical party this has been.
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Mr. Burns is a great man.
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I've got a bad feeling about all this.
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Come on, Marge.
This place is great.
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Free admission, great grub,
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and we got to use
the bathroom of the future.
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Homer, that was Apollo 12!
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Greetings, wage donkeys.
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Is everyone happy and content?
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Yeah!
This is great!
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I would die for you!
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Is your sense of outrage dulled?
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Spill it, super boss!
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Very well,
effective immediately,
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the employee prescription
drug program is terminated!
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What?
Why?
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In these days of rising health
care costs, blah, blah, blah,
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lip service, lip service.
Get out!
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This must be the nasty surprise
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he mentioned in the invitation.
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No!
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This sucks!
Get him!
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Fly, you fool!
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I tried to explain to you, sir,
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this thing has never actually worked.
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Smithers, you must believe.
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Next stop, Pirate Island!
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Well, that was a pretty good party.
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Do you think Carol from Payroll and
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Mike from Shipping
are going to hook up?
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He's married.
Change course!
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Carol must be warned!
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Now that Mr. Burns
has eliminated the drug plan,
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we're gonna have
to cut back on our diseases.
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I'll get a second job,
one that pays well.
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You think those guys on
Friends need another friend?
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That show's gone off the air.
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Damn it. I would've been
perfect as Rachel's Irish cousin.
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So you're all doin'
each other, are ya?
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But who's gonna put
out for old Seamus?
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I need a new job that
provides full health benefits.
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Uh-huh.
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As long as I only
work five hours a day,
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no heavy lifting,
no light clerical, none
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of that Secret Santa crap,
tasteful nudity...
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Uh, well,
let me see what I've got.
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You have defeated the doombot
and sealed the portal.
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Phobos is safe.
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Phobos? That's a good
job for me.
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Following the lead
of Springfield Nuclear Power,
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other local companies are canceling
their prescription drug plans,
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even here at Channel 6.
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Now, kids, I want you to go to
your parents' medicine cabinet,
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and find all the pills labeled
lithium dibromide
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and send them to me now!
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No one likes a bipolar clown!
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To cope with the crisis,
many consumers are turning
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to alternative forms of treatment.
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I've had to medicate Ralphie with
stuff from the evidence locker.
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I'm cuckoo for contraband!
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Of course,
this wouldn't be necessary
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if retail drug prices were reasonable.
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Dr. Julius Hibbert,
do you agree?
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Well, now, Kent,
give the drug companies a break.
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They have lots of hidden costs,
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and they know how to treat a brother.
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Let me introduce you to the
fine-looking females of Pfizer.
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I like big butts And I cannot lie
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You other brothers can't deny
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That when a girl walks in
With an itty-bitty waist
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And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
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Possible side effects include
dizziness and shortness of marriage.
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Damn!
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Well, let me start out by saying
that it is always a pleasure
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to sit down with
a mother and a daughter
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who have snuck past security
and burst into my office.
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I just don't see why one
little pill should cost $30.
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Drugs aren't so expensive
in other countries.
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In other countries, families also
lie on the floor and eat bugs.
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What countries are those?
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You ever been to Norway?
No.
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Well, they do it in Norway.
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And that's why I personally thank
God we pay too much for drugs.
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I mean, the right amount.
I mean, not enough.
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Here. Watch this video.
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The mighty Amazon River.
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The natives had a word for it.
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Then we got rid of the natives,
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and no one remembers that word.
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But here are some words everyone
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remembers by Huey
Lewis and the News.
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I want a new drug
One that won't make me sick
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One that won't make me crash my car
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Or make me feel 3 feet thick
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I want a new drug
One that won't hurt my head
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All right.
Here's your medication.
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Wait a minute.
This ain't no pill. It's a corn nut!
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I got a bottle cap.
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Mine flew away.
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Let me explain from behind this cage.
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Now, your pills
have become very expensive,
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and no one gives
a rat's ass about you.
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So after a lot of thought,
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we decided to let you go cold turkey.
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For those of you
who survive the night,
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we'll be having waffles tomorrow.
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Ooh.
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Waffles.
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I didn't die in World War Il
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just to be pushed around
by some pill-hoarding hussy!
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I'm gonna fight this thing!
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Ah, he's crazy. But what are
you gonna do? He's young.
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Well, the drug company
won't do anything to help us.
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I got the answer!
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Dad?
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Oh. Thank God
it's the right place.
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I burst into four
homes before this one.
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Now listen. All the drugs we
want are right across the border.
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I have a friend who will help us.
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The border, eh? Then I'd better
sand off my fingerprints.
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Ow!
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I could just wear gloves.
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Nah, they're upstairs.
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Ow, ow, ow!
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Hola, señor We are gringos who wish
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To spend mucho
dinero in your country.
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Splendid.
Welcome to Canada. D'oh!
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Okay, Abe. Here are your
fake Canadian health cards.
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Take them to any pharmacy,
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and you'll get enough drugs to
make Regina look like Saskatoon.
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That's a good one, Johnny.
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Thanks a million, Johnny.
In appreciation,
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I'd like to give you this DVD player.
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00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,286
What the heck?
Where do you pour the syrup?
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I'd like some Vioxx,
Coumadin, Albuterol, Prevacid
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and an auto-inflate blood
pressure monitor C-cuff with case.
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Anything you like,
fellow Canadian.
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Canadian?
Them's fightin' words!
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I mean, accurate words.
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One pill makes you larger
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00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,771
And one pill makes you small
200
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:37,729
And the ones That mother gives you
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Don't do anything at all
202
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Go ask Alice
203
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When she's ten feet tall
204
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Anything to declare?
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00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:58,849
I declare that you have
the most beautiful brown eyes.
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00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,321
Why, I do believe you're smuggling
207
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,971
a heart as big as all outdoors.
208
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,850
Now get in my country,
you big lug.
209
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,685
Did he have a passport?
210
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,842
Yes. To my heart.
211
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:19,083
Drugs! Various drugs!
Be sure to read instructions!
212
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,167
Uh-oh. Where did I put
the instructions?
213
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,729
Now, who's next?
I got pills to make you sleep late,
214
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:29,202
coagulate, eliminate
and copulate, in that order.
215
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:34,127
Grampa, we would like to thank
you for all you have done for us.
216
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:39,287
Please accept this Operation
Dumbo Drop souvenir jacket.
217
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:43,764
Look, they used the same "D"
for "Dumbo" and "Drop."
218
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,848
Unbelievably,
only three were ever purchased.
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00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,922
Marge? Bart? Lisa?
220
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,083
Aloha.
221
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,488
Oh. This is
just like Hawaii.
222
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,325
But you don't get beaten up if
you leave the hotel. What gives?
223
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,765
We just wanted to thank you.
224
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,401
Because of the Xanax,
I'm not overanxious
about being a Simpson anymore.
225
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,369
I am a little anxious
about being on Xanax,
226
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,403
but the Zoloft covers that nicely.
227
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,161
My dad, the drug mule.
228
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,246
Oh, man. I need something
to settle my stomach.
229
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,162
Wait. I was supposed
to take these with food.
230
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,402
Oh, look, it is Mr. Homer,
my favorite customer.
231
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,926
Please feel free
to paw through my Playdudes
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00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,004
and tell me to go back to some
country I am not actually from.
233
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,809
Why the sweet talk, Apu?
234
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,723
Are you after some cheap drugs?
235
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,121
Please let me come on one
of your smuggling runs.
236
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,123
My eight babies are driving me crazy
237
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,761
with their coughing and
sneezing and general oozing.
238
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,650
My Janitor in a Drum
is afraid to come out!
239
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,802
What does that mean?
I don't even know!
240
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,804
That is the kind of bad joke
I am making! I am so tired!
241
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,690
Help me out, Homer.
My little Roddy needs his insulin.
242
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,127
Breaks my heart to watch
him jones-diddly-onesing.
243
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,807
Flanders? I don't know. I mean,
you haven't done anything for me
244
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,326
Since you lent me
that 5,000 bucks yesterday.
245
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,249
I don't claim to be
the perfect neighbor.
246
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,244
If you let us come,
I will give you 10 minutes alone
247
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,966
with my Squishy machine.
Do what you will.
248
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,485
No cameras?
249
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,321
No cameras.
250
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,886
Homer, tell Mr. Ned to
stop trying to convert me.
251
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,731
I was just telling him how brave
he is to worship a false god.
252
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,451
I do not worship
one god. Okay?
253
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,729
I worship a whole super team
of deities that...
254
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,247
Ow! Ow! Okay,
he just pinched me!
255
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,209
Well, where's your super team now?
256
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,363
Listen, you two.
I'll tell you who the true god is
257
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,647
if you're both quiet the rest of the trip.
258
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,764
All right,
I'm coming back there!
259
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,481
Save me, Shiva!
260
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,164
Why don't you just
call out for Hawkman?
261
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,287
Why don't you shut up?
262
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:08,001
Well, circle cut my bacon! Look at
all these Yankee-doodly-dandies!
263
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,809
Is there another Vietnam going on?
264
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,564
Hello, neighborino to the north.
265
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,409
I sure like the cut of your gibberish.
266
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:26,161
Say, would you like to puff on
a reefer-ino? It's legal here.
267
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,210
They warned me Satan
would be attractive. Let's go!
268
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,444
Anyone want some coffee
for the ride back?
269
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,443
Not that convenience
store crap, is it?
270
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,449
Because I don't feed that to my dogs.
271
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,369
No, no. It's home-brewed.
272
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,086
Careful. It's hotter
than a Fox News weather skank.
273
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,724
Oh, my! Hot! Hot! Hot!
274
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,325
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
275
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,640
Here. Let me wrap
this wet towel
276
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,040
around your head to cool you off.
277
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,800
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
278
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,360
Stop him! He's
expressing his faith, eh!
279
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,408
Hold on! We're just
innocent tourists!
280
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,009
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
281
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,725
I took another sip.
282
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,443
Today Mounties busted a major
American drug smuggling ring.
283
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,842
Former US astronaut, Homer Simpson,
was taken into custody.
284
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,090
Oh, my butt looks so
huge during perp walks.
285
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,320
We've confiscated your
car and its contents.
286
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,569
"Nous avons confisqué votre
voiture et ses contenus."
287
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,802
You may leave Canada
but never return.
288
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:41,409
"Vous êtes permis de quitter le Canada,
mais vous n 'avez plus le droit de rentrer"
289
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,323
I am a big, fat,
French idiot.
290
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,169
"Je suis un grand gros..."
291
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,526
Hey!
292
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,769
No more drugs.
We let everyone down.
293
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,444
Your jacket, sefior.
294
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,369
Thank God we did not stitch
your name over the breast.
295
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,885
Dad, you tried your best.
For the first time in my life,
296
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:06,045
I can say without being drunk
that I truly admire you.
297
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,360
Oh!
298
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,331
No drinking in public.
299
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,566
Hey, where'd it go?
Oh, well.
300
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,966
Ah, there's nothing like
canceling an employee drug plan
301
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,129
to make one feel so at
peace with the universe.
302
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,521
I agree, sir.
303
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,649
Shut up.
I'm so sick of you, Smithers.
304
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:30,850
Your toadying,
your complete agreeability,
your gasping on the floor...
305
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,641
Smithers! If this is some sort of hijink,
stop it immediately.
306
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,326
Sir, my thyroid is swelling up.
307
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,041
Confound it, man. I need your
throat clear and ready for perjury.
308
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,970
When you canceled the drug plan,
309
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,684
I couldn't afford
my Thyroxine anymore.
310
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,367
But before I die, there are words
I have always longed to say.
311
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,408
Sir, I...
312
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,881
Fear not, Smithers! I'll move
heaven and Earth to save you!
313
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,530
It's still easier than teaching
314
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,210
a new assistant my filing system.
315
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,045
I just wish we could
make one last big score,
316
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,771
but we could never drive
past the border patrol.
317
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,290
There are other ways
to get into Canada.
318
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,081
No!
319
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,889
That's it! A plane!
320
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,885
Smuggle drugs in a plane?
That'll never work!
321
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,567
Sure, it will.
All we need is a pilot.
322
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,722
I've got everything you need.
323
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,171
Katharine Hepburn?
324
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,289
No, you fool! 'Tis I, Burns.
Now come with me.
325
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,570
At last, my plane shall be used
for its original purpose,
326
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,484
to subvert the laws
of the United States.
327
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,528
Looks like your plane's pretty full, eh?
328
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,045
Don't want to overload it.
329
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,281
Pah! Typical
Canadian wimpiness.
330
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,921
That's why you have snowballs,
and we have the H-bomb!
331
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,162
We really appreciate
your help, Johnny.
332
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,442
Is there any way we can repay you?
333
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,205
Well, I've always
wanted to see a man
334
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,051
with the IQ of a child
executed by the state.
335
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,770
We don't get that up here.
336
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,606
Really? In America,
we do it four times a week.
337
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,411
You come on down,
and I'll get us front row seats.
338
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,005
I'd like that.
339
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,965
We're losing altitude.
Time to dump all unnecessary weight.
340
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,880
What? Don't dump me out! I can
lose weight! Just give me a chance!
341
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,002
One, two...
342
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,525
Ah, I'd rather die.
343
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,160
It's no use. We've got to
make an emergency landing.
344
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,402
Well, at least we're
all in this together.
345
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,608
Now, we have three parachutes.
346
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,960
This one's for me.
347
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,687
And these two are gifts
for my nephews. Tallyho!
348
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,846
Homer, are you sure
you can fly this thing?
349
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,730
We'll make it, Dad,
on a wing and a prayer.
350
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,326
Damn it!
351
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:09,727
All right,
you're under arrest.
352
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,961
On what charge?
353
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,327
Making a police chief go...
354
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,288
Get in the car. And don't touch
those guns. I just loaded them.
355
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,408
You'll have to arrest me, too!
356
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,687
Abe Simpson brought the Propecia
357
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,007
to keep grass on Willie's field!
358
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,401
He cured my lumbago.
Thank you.
359
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,851
My diaper rash.
360
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,685
My glayvinoids are not so hurtful.
361
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,604
Thanks to his lactose intolerance pills,
362
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,809
I can drink this
Krusty brand milkshake.
363
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,811
Terrible!
364
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,681
Well, Simpson, you have
helped a lot of people.
365
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,923
So like it says in the
Springfield Police Handbook,
366
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,610
"If you can't
beat 'em, join 'em."
367
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,050
Uh, Chief, you know,
I've been checking the handbook.
368
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,327
A lot of the things you
say aren't in there at all.
369
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,811
Yeah, well, look a little
closer, Lou.
370
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,962
Oh, I hope I'm not too late.
371
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,244
Take, potion! Hurry!
372
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,485
Oh, it's not working.
373
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,082
Only my sour, curdled breath
will quicken him.
374
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,165
Sir, you saved my life.
375
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,725
Yes.
376
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,926
Smithers, I was a stingy old fool.
377
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:48,964
But from now on,
I'll provide drug benefits
to all my full-time employees.
378
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,571
Great news, honey.
379
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,211
Mr. Burns made me
a freelance consultant.
380
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,241
Hey, what's this lump?