1 00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,185 Whoops. 3 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,938 Whoops. Whoops! 4 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,483 This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast Mom every had. 5 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,044 Hey, Lis. You think that's enough for her? 6 00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:29,320 Maybe one more. 7 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,114 I hope she likes the presents we got her. 8 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,657 Well, I know she'll like mine. 9 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,701 Who wouldn't like a bottle of real French perfume 10 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,578 all the way from gay Paree? 11 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,371 Four bucks, plus tax. 12 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,724 Well, I think she's going to like 13 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,082 my handmade birthday card better. 14 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,417 Big deal. 15 00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:45,253 Dry macaroni, spray paint and glue. Whoopie. 16 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,595 Dibs. First dibs. I get to lick the beaters. 17 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:58,683 Litha, my "ongue" is "uck" in the "eaters." My "ongue"! 18 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,025 Happy birthday! 19 00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,110 What? 20 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,863 Here's your birthday breakfast. 21 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,991 Well, isn't this nice? 22 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,284 - My birthday? - No! 23 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,869 It's my birthday? 24 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:20,205 What did I get? I love birthdays. 25 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,915 No, Homer, it's mine. 26 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,758 You don't even know your own wife's birthday? 27 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:27,295 Well, of course I know. Sure. 28 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,714 You really thought I forgot, didn't you? 29 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,941 Right. What did you get her, Dad? 30 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,008 Yeah, what did you get? 31 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,887 Well, a very thoughtful gift. 32 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,931 But it's a surprise. 33 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,933 You know, it's such a beautiful morning, 34 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:43,103 I think I'll take a little stroll around the block. 35 00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,319 I think he forgot, Mom. 36 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:58,743 No. Come on. Come on. Open up! 37 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,537 Good morning, consumers. 38 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,704 The Springfield Mall 39 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,706 is now open for your spending needs. 40 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,711 No. 41 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:11,214 Too salty. 42 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,424 Um... nah. 43 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,426 Nah, too corny. 44 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:18,847 Too exciting. 45 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,933 Patty, he's out buying me something right now. 46 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,602 Marge. He never gets you anything you want. 47 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,354 He always gets something for himself. 48 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:27,605 The tackle box. 49 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,125 Remember when he got you the tackle box? 50 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,692 And Connie Chung. 51 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:34,028 And when he surprised you with the Connie Chung calendar? 52 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,573 I'm sure he doesn't do it deliberately. 53 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:43,246 Well, Homer and I had a lovely dining experience 54 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,414 at Chez Pierre. 55 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,416 Or the Rusty Barnacle is nice. 56 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,418 No, no, no. 57 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,420 We wanna take you someplace fun... 58 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,796 The Singing Sirloin. 59 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,383 The place where the waiters sing. 60 00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,138 - Homer? - Be right there. 61 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,684 Homer, we're having dinner tonight 62 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,020 at The Singing Sirloin. 63 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,438 That sounds delightful. 64 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,815 Just you and me and the balladeers. 65 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,817 - And the kids. - Fair enough. 66 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,486 - And my sisters. - Doh! 67 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:19,741 ♪♪ 68 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:24,287 ♪ How we danced on the night we were wed ♪ 69 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,289 ♪ Havin' my baby ♪ 70 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:29,542 ♪ What a lovely way to say how much you love me ♪ 71 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:33,588 ♪ Nearer my God to thee ♪ 72 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:38,843 ♪ Nearer to thee ♪ 73 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,847 Perfume! 74 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,934 Whoa! Thank you, Bart. 75 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,811 - You're welcome, Mom. - 34 years old. 76 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,148 Time enough to start over with a new man. 77 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,859 - Someone who eats with his mouth shut. - What's that, Patty? 78 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,195 Nothing. Finish your steak. 79 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,822 Look at him wolf down that gristle. 80 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,866 It's an accident waiting to happen. 81 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,868 Do you know the Heimlich Maneuver? 82 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,912 - No. - Good. 83 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,458 I think she likes my present better. 84 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,561 - Does not. Does not. Does not. - Does too. Does too. 85 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,296 Then how come she's not putting on any of your perfume? 86 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,382 Yeah. Hey, Mom. 87 00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,093 How come you're not putting on any of my perfume? 88 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,932 Well, I'm saving it for a special occasion. 89 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,285 What the hell are you talking about? There's gallons of it! 90 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:31,354 - Bart! - But this occasion is already so special. 91 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,356 If we made it any more special, 92 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,483 we might end up making it less special. 93 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,361 - Gotcha. Told ya she liked mine better. - Brother! 94 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,571 Hold on. Hold on now. 95 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,783 Your mother hasn't opened my present yet. 96 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:46,577 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 97 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,579 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 98 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,375 ♪ Happy 34th birthday, Mrs. Homer Simpson ♪ 99 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:58,172 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 100 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,469 Don't worry. 101 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,263 This frosting will come right off. 102 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,265 Beauty, isn't she? 103 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,309 It's hard for me to judge 104 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,019 since I've never bowled in my life! 105 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,147 Well, if you don't want it, I know someone who does. 106 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,947 You always say we should talk. 107 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,199 I'm talking right now, as a matter of fact. 108 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,368 But I'm going to stop in a second, 109 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,038 so please, say something back, Marge, please? 110 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,290 I'm gonna stop talking... now. 111 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,793 You bought that bowling ball for you, not for me. 112 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,045 What? No. 113 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,130 The holes were drilled for your fingers. 114 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,090 I wanted to surprise you. 115 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,276 I couldn't very well chop your hand off 116 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,718 and bring it to the store, could I? 117 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,928 You never intended for me to use that ball. 118 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,972 Well, if that's how you feel, I'll take it back. 119 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,641 You can't take it back. You had your name engraved on it! 120 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,102 - So you'd know it's from me! - Homer, 121 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,730 I'm keeping the ball... for myself! 122 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,941 What? But you don't know how to bowl. Oops. 123 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,444 I'm keeping it, and I'm going to use it. 124 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,113 Thank you for the present, Homer. 125 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,616 Well... you're... welcome. 126 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,085 Excuse me. Where do I throw this? 127 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,087 - Over there. - Thank you. 128 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,631 - Wait a minute. You're gonna need a lane. - No, thanks. 129 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,092 - I'm here out of spite. - Can't bowl without a lane. 130 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,011 - Well, all right. - Okay. Here you go. 131 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,429 You keep score on this. 132 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,556 - What size shoes you wear? - Never you mind. 133 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,558 You can't wear street shoes on the lanes. 134 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,786 You gotta wear bowling shoes. 135 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,186 What size, please? 136 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,438 - 13 double "A." - 13 double "A"? 137 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,775 This is the closest I've got. 138 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,819 A nine and a fifteen. 139 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,695 Thank you. 140 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,117 A little warm and moist. 141 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,596 So, 120 pins later, I am the better man. 142 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,561 I don't see what he's doing 143 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,396 that's so different from what I'm doing. 144 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,447 I'm... I'm awfully sorry. 145 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,449 Entirely my fault. 146 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,576 It is nice to meet you, 147 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,036 Homer. 148 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,455 No, no. 149 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,915 Homer's my... ball's name. 150 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,169 I'm Marge. 151 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,425 Your fingers are so slender, so feminine. 152 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,635 They're far too tapered for the ball you're using. 153 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,055 You need something lighter. More delicate. 154 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,057 Here. Use my ball. 155 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,186 No. No, thank you, Mr., um, Brunswick. 156 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,646 - Call me Jacques. - Jacques. 157 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,442 - Marge. - I'll just use my ball. 158 00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,110 As you wish. 159 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,820 Many people have senseless attachments 160 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,614 to heavy, clumsy things, 161 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,616 such as this Homer of yours. 162 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,827 May I ask you a bold question? 163 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,121 - Sure. - You've never bowled before. 164 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,831 - Never. No. - No. 165 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,875 Then I will teach you. 166 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,585 I don't wanna trouble you. 167 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,295 Not at all. I am a professional. 168 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,839 Roll the ball for me, Marge. Let me see your form. 169 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,383 All right. But I'm not very good. 170 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,764 I can hit that one pin all right, 171 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,474 but the rest of them don't even wobble. 172 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:38,726 I can help you, Marge. Pick up the ball. 173 00:08:38,809 --> 00:08:41,103 Pick up Homer. Pick him up. 174 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:44,899 - Now throw. - But... 175 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,068 Throw, damn you. 176 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,075 You're a very good teacher. 177 00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,702 Yes, I am a very good teacher, and I can teach you everything. 178 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,789 I can tell you what the little arrows on the wood floor mean, 179 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,916 which frame is the beer frame. 180 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,019 I bet you don't know how to make a five-seven-ten split. 181 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,254 - Do you, Marge? - No. 182 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,006 But first of all, you yell, "The eight-pin is a cop." 183 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,676 Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud. 184 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,136 Laugh out loud. You'll lose weight. 185 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,180 - That's very funny. - Feels good. 186 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,724 I didn't realize there was so much to this game. 187 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,726 What do you charge for lessons? 188 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,312 - Twenty-five dollars. - Twenty-five dollars! 189 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,940 It's a $40 value. 190 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,984 Well, all right. When do we start? 191 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,152 We have already begun. 192 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,408 Now this is living, kids? 193 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:38,619 Hot pizza... the food of kings. 194 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,996 Don't be scared, Dad. 195 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,622 It's not so hard takin' care of us. 196 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,958 Lisa, I'm not scared. 197 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,627 I think it's a great chance to spend some time with you kids. 198 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,313 Your mother always gets to be alone with you, 199 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,380 and now it's my turn. 200 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,802 Does the time always drag like this? 201 00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:58,514 First, you must get to know your lane. 202 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,310 Feel the slickness. Feel the satiny finish. 203 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,146 Caress it. Experience it. 204 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,315 - Quite smooth, isn't it, Marge? - Ooh, very smooth. 205 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,442 - Smooth? Yes? - Yes, very. Yes. 206 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,153 - Yes. Smooth? Yes. - Smooth. Yes. 207 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,031 You could eat off of it. You hungry? 208 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,450 - Yes. - Four onion rings! 209 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,869 Delicioso! 210 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,579 My compliments to the delivery boy. 211 00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,581 Okay. We've eaten and eaten well. 212 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,958 What else do we have to do? 213 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,835 Let's check the list your mom left us. 214 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:31,005 Eat. Clean up. 215 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,298 Don't worry, everybody. 216 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,592 This will be a breeze if we all pitch in. 217 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,474 All right! We're clean! 218 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:46,187 Now we'll... put Maggie to bed. 219 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:49,357 ♪ Lullaby and good night ♪ 220 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,109 ♪ Go to bed and sleep tight ♪ 221 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,571 ♪ Close your eyes, start to yawn ♪ 222 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,658 ♪ Pleasant dreams until the dawn ♪♪ 223 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,377 Homer. Homer? 224 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,129 How was bowling? 225 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,256 It's a very challenging hobby. 226 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,218 Sport, dear. It's a sport, you silly thing. 227 00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,555 But I think I'll do much better tomorrow night. 228 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,475 You're going back? 229 00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,685 Well, sure. If you don't mind 230 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,770 taking care of the kids again. 231 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,523 No. I don't mind. 232 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,525 Good night, Homer. 233 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,527 Good night. 234 00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:39,281 - It is for you. - Jacques, it fits. 235 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,493 You got it in my size, and it has my name on it. 236 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,495 It's really for me. 237 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:48,165 Seventeen-fifty. Enjoy it, my darling. 238 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,905 Here we are. 239 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,657 You didn't have to drop me off. 240 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,075 But I wanted to. 241 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,745 Marge, do you know how beautiful you look 242 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,121 in the moonlight? 243 00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,915 Jacques. I'm a married woman. 244 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,917 I know. I know. 245 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,878 My mind says, "Stop," but my heart... 246 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,088 and my hips cry, "Proceed." 247 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,633 Marge, darling, I want to see you tomorrow. 248 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,260 Not at Barney's Bowlarama. 249 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:44,722 Away from the thunderous folly of clattering pins. 250 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,224 - Meet me tomorrow for brunch. - What's brunch? 251 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,702 You'd love it. It's not quite breakfast, 252 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,478 it's not quite lunch, 253 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,230 but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. 254 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,566 You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, 255 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,026 but you get a good meal. 256 00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,154 - I don't think so. - Marge, darling... 257 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,990 there are ten pins in my heart. 258 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:04,992 You've knocked over eight. 259 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,495 Won't you please pick up that spare? 260 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:11,749 All right! 261 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,633 - Marge? - What, Homer? 262 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,928 Nothing. 263 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,814 School bus. 264 00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:38,067 Here you go, kids. Special lunches. 265 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,069 Lots of good things for growing bodies, 266 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,071 and some treats just for fun. 267 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,739 Ay, caramba! 268 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,533 Are you going bowling again tonight, Mom? 269 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,743 Well, yes, I am, as a matter of fact. 270 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,912 Here's more treats. 271 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,890 But don't worry, your dad will take care of dinner. 272 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,208 Wednesday. Hoagie night. 273 00:13:56,252 --> 00:14:00,881 Good-bye, Lisa. My darling little Lisa. 274 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,678 Good-bye, Bart. My special little guy. 275 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:09,849 Great lunches, Lis? 276 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,559 Bart, don't you see? 277 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,812 This is what psychologists call overcompensation. 278 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:16,522 Mom is wracked with guilt 279 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,023 because her marriage is failing. 280 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,025 Hey, don't rock the boat, man. 281 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,152 Whatever it is, we're making out like bandits. 282 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,363 Bart, I read about what happens to kids 283 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,740 whose parents no longer love and cherish each other. 284 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,326 They go through eight separate stages. 285 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,371 Right now, I'm in stage three, fear. 286 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,373 You're in stage two, denial. 287 00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,375 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 288 00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,377 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 289 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,338 - I'm not. I'm not. Am not! - I stand corrected. 290 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,635 - Mimosa? - I'm a married woman. 291 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,429 Please, don't call me that. 292 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,431 No, no, no, no, no. 293 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,433 Mimosa is the name of the drink. 294 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,435 It's orange juice and champagne. 295 00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,936 You're so wonderful 296 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,439 that you thought it was something offensive. 297 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:00,774 Well, thank you. 298 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,444 Marge? Marge Simpson. 299 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,070 You remember me, don't you? 300 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,280 I'm Helen Lovejoy, 301 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,698 the gossipy wife of the minister. 302 00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:09,283 Yes. Hello, Helen. 303 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,535 I had just finished eating and was about to leave 304 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,871 when I looked over this way and said to myself, 305 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,581 "Why, isn't that Marge Simpson over there 306 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,500 having brunch with a man who isn't her husband?" 307 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,295 And I just had to come over and say hello. 308 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,756 - We're, um... - Don't squirm on my account. 309 00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,467 I am giving her a bowling lesson, thank you. 310 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:31,430 Now, Marge, the pins on the three-seven-ten split would be here. 311 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,933 We'll make this little piece of food the ball. 312 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,935 The ball's bigger. You know that. 313 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,561 But for food, this is a good ball. 314 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,897 Well, bye-bye. 315 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,857 See you in church on Sunday, Marge. 316 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,983 Good-bye, Helen. 317 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,110 Good-bye, Helen. 318 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,112 You have a lovely friend there. 319 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,239 Let's hope something runs over her. 320 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:53,243 Your laughter is like music to me. 321 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,871 But if you laugh at what I say next, I will die, 322 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,873 for I am about to say something very serious, 323 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,875 perhaps shocking. 324 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,001 Marge, my darling, 325 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,545 I want you to meet with me again. 326 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:06,548 - That doesn't shock me. - Away from prying eyes, 327 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,593 away from the Helens of the world, 328 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,888 at my apartment... The Fiesta Terrace. 329 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:27,528 I've been waiting for you. Come in, my captivating one. 330 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,656 May I have this dance? 331 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:32,658 Sure. 332 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:34,660 ♪♪ 333 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,336 Whoa! 334 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,385 You certainly have a lot of bowling trophies. 335 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:53,846 I like you so much. 336 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,931 They're not for bowling, Marge. 337 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,851 You're so naive. They are for lovemaking. 338 00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:01,186 - Really? - Yes. 339 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:09,737 - Champagne? - Please. 340 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,739 There, my darling. 341 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,741 Thank you. 342 00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:18,370 What cosmic force brought us together, Marge? 343 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,831 - Destiny? - Yes. 344 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,916 Some divine pinspotter... 345 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,378 must have placed us side by side. 346 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,506 Like two fragile bowling pins... 347 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,425 Standing bravely... 348 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:34,261 - Until inevitably... - We must topple. 349 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,435 Marge, speak to me. 350 00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:46,106 - Is Thursday okay? - It's okay, indeed. 351 00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,912 "For Marge"? 352 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,632 Hey, Dad. What do you say we toss 353 00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,634 the ol' apple around? Sound like fun? 354 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,928 Son, I don't know if I can lift my head, 355 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,262 let alone a ball. 356 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,181 Aw, come on, Dad. Get the lead out. 357 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,161 Simpson checks the runner on first. He's cool. He's fine. 358 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:26,146 Here's the windup, and here's the pitch. 359 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,068 Dad, you didn't even say "ouch." 360 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:34,279 Sorry. Ouch. 361 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,365 Lisa. Lisa, I think you're right about Dad. 362 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,510 - Something's very, very wrong here. - Frightened, Bart? 363 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,702 Welcome to stage three: fear. 364 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,621 Well, come on. We gotta do something, man. 365 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,623 Sorry, Bart. I'd love to help you, 366 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,751 but I'm mired in stage five, self-pity. 367 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,711 Look, Dad. I don't know what's going on, 368 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,715 but once you gave me some advice that might help. 369 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,674 I gave you advice? Get out of here. 370 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,050 Yeah, you did. 371 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,219 You told me when something's bothering you, 372 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,638 and you're too damn stupid to know what to do, 373 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,890 just keep your fool mouth shut. 374 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,892 At least that way, you won't make things worse. 375 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,478 Good advice. 376 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,575 Marge, may I speak to you? 377 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,369 - Sure. - You know, I've been thinking. 378 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,496 Everyone makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, 379 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,748 but usually the jelly drips out over the side, 380 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,001 and the guy's hands get all sticky. 381 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,545 But your jelly stays right in the middle 382 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,046 where it's supposed to. 383 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,715 I don't know how you do it. 384 00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:37,926 You just got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. 385 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,678 I just never mentioned it, 386 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,930 but it's time you knew how I feel. 387 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,766 I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. 388 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,771 Good-bye, my wife. 389 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,691 Good-bye, Homer. 390 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,451 To the most beautiful moment in life. 391 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,703 Better than the deed, better than the memory... 392 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,206 The moment of anticipation. 393 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,878 Jacques, you handsome devil. Look at you. 394 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:17,132 You're really going to strike out tonight! 395 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,387 - Ain't you hungry, Homer? - Starving. 396 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,389 Well, then why aren't you eating your sandwich? 397 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,891 How can I eat it? 398 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,268 She made it. It's all I have left. 399 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,563 Domestic situation. 400 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,695 ♪♪ 401 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:14,606 ♪♪ 402 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,169 Marge! What a lovely surprise. 403 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,171 You're here to see me, right? 404 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:40,674 Of course! 405 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,602 Hey, way to go, Homer. Way to go! 406 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,438 What will I tell the boss? 407 00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:57,816 Tell him I'm going to the backseat of my car 408 00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,401 with the woman I love, 409 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:03,113 and I won't be back for ten minutes. 410 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,794 ♪♪ 411 00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,880 Shh!