1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,650 Aah! 3 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,627 So, Homer, what happened in Capital City? 4 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,253 Barney. 5 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,631 Come on, Homer. We're dying of curiosity. 6 00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:33,134 Look, there's only one thing worse than being a loser. 7 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,136 It's being one of those guys who sits in a bar 8 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,472 telling the story of how he became a loser. 9 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:40,183 And I never want that to happen to me. 10 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,392 Please, Homer. 11 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,936 - Yeah. Come on, Homer. - Well, okay. 12 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:46,564 It all started on nuclear plant employee, spouses 13 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,317 and no-more-than- three-children night 14 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,735 down at Springfield Stadium. 15 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,116 Well, I think we lost him. 16 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:57,826 Hey, and we're at the ball park. 17 00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:01,079 All right! Two birds with one stone. 18 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,747 Okay, everybody out. 19 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,294 You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight 20 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,547 may make it to the big leagues one day. 21 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,132 What? Aren't we going to see 22 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,842 any washed-up major leaguers? 23 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,177 Sure, we get a nice mix here. 24 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,055 I can't think of a better place to spend a balmy summer's night 25 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,765 than the old ball yard. 26 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,684 There's just the green grass of the outfield 27 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,019 the crushed brick of the infield 28 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,729 and the white chalk lines 29 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,373 that divide the man from the little boy. 30 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:32,193 Lisa, honey, you're forgetting the beer. 31 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,195 It comes in 72-ounce tubs here. 32 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,823 I hope you'll space out the tubs this year, Homer. 33 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,825 - What are you getting at? - Well, last year 34 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,953 you got a little rambunctious and mooned the poor umpire. 35 00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,831 Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. 36 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:48,626 It also gives me the right... No, the duty... 37 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,753 To make a complete ass of myself. 38 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,549 The Gammills. Good to see you. 39 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,926 You're an inspiration to all of us 40 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,845 in waste management, sir. 41 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,055 Well, take your mind off contaminates for one night 42 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,808 and have a hot dog. 43 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,643 Put a little smile on his card, Smithers. 44 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,103 Already there, sir. 45 00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,565 It's the Simpsons, sir. 46 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,942 Well, if it isn't the Simps. 47 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,945 Simpsons, sir. 48 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,989 Yes. 49 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,741 Homer and Marge Simpson. 50 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,745 And these must be Bart, Lisa, and expecting. 51 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,663 The card needs to be updated, sir. 52 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,915 Well... 53 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,666 That's okay. 54 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,877 The baby's name isn't important. Let's go, Marge. 55 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,297 Red Hots! Get your Red Hots here! 56 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,011 Wow! There's Flash Baylor. 57 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,221 I gotta get his autograph. 58 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,056 He used to be a star. 59 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,683 - Hey, Flash, will you sign my ball? - No. 60 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:50,021 Lousy, washed-up broken-down tub of guts. 61 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,898 Who does he think he is, anyway? 62 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,192 - What's the matter, boy? - He wouldn't sign my ball. 63 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:57,403 Well, he's a fine role model. Bart, give me that ball. 64 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,200 Hey, Flash, check out the mature quail headin' this way. 65 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,385 Well, hey, there, little lady. 66 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,536 What can Flash do for you? 67 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,830 Here you go, Bart. 68 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:12,001 "Springfield Kozy Kort Motel, Room 26. 69 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,503 How 'bout it? Flash." 70 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,754 Wow! 71 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,507 Flash Baylor came on to my wife. 72 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,843 You've still got the magic, Marge. 73 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,638 Hey, Dad, look! You're on Jumbovision. 74 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:27,267 Whoa! Hey, everybody, how you doing? 75 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,476 Look at me. 76 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,312 I'm Homer Simpson. Heh heh. 77 00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,817 Homer. Homer, X-Y-Z. 78 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,111 Examine my zipper? Why? Whoops! 79 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,323 Heh heh heh. Thanks, everybody. 80 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,574 Ladies and gentlemen, 81 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,951 throwing out tonight's first ball 82 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,995 the man whose name is synonymous 83 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,247 with our nation's safest and cleanest energy source... 84 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:52,417 Mr. Montgomery Burns! 85 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,378 They love you, sir. 86 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,796 As well they might. 87 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,090 You know, Smithers, when I was a young buck, 88 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,051 my patented fadeaway pitch was compared by many 89 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,263 to the "trouble ball" of the late, great Satchel Paige. 90 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,973 Spit on this for me, Smithers. 91 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,349 One hocker coming up, sir. 92 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,230 Wuah! 93 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,441 What a lame-o. 94 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,444 I think I could actually hear the air being torn, sir. 95 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,403 Shut up. 96 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,530 Hey, Burns! Hey, rag arm! 97 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,449 You throw like my sister, man! 98 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,868 Yeah, you throw like me! 99 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,078 Ladies and gentlemen, to honor America 100 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,080 will you please rise for our national anthem 101 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,375 sung tonight by Springfield's rhythm and blues sensation 102 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,502 Bleeding Gums Murphy. 103 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:47,013 ♪ Say ♪ 104 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,307 ♪ Can you... ♪ 105 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,390 I'm asking... 106 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:55,480 ♪ Can you see ♪ 107 00:05:55,563 --> 00:06:01,652 ♪ By the dawn's... ♪ 108 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:09,577 ♪ ...And the rockets' red glare ♪ 109 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,288 ♪ The bombs burstin' ♪ 110 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,915 ♪ Shoot it off ♪ 111 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:18,669 ♪ Poppin' way up in the air... ♪ 112 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:24,967 ♪ And... the home... 113 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:33,051 ♪ Of the... ♪ 114 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:41,025 ♪ Brave ♪ 115 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,248 Hi-dee-hi Springfield. Dan Hoard, mikeside. 116 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,947 Tonight our Isotopes take on 117 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,533 the pesky Shelbyville Shelbyvillians. 118 00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,496 The 'Topes are looking to snap that darn 26-game 119 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,162 losing streak... longest in professional baseball. 120 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,873 How 'bout that? Our sleepy town is in the record book. 121 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,000 Sitting with the employees... 122 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,627 I guess this proves I'm their friend. 123 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,088 You did get me something on an aisle, Smithers? 124 00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:03,881 I don't want to be surrounded by them. 125 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,842 Let's go now! Swing, batter! 126 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,553 We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher! 127 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,639 We want a catcher not a belly scratcher! 128 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,558 - Here we are, sir. - No. 129 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,189 Marge, sitting next to the boss. 130 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,817 The best night of the year, and it's ruined. 131 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,902 Of all the lousy, rotten... 132 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:28,239 All this means is you can't wave your fanny in public. 133 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,615 Yeah, rub it in. 134 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,412 Beer here! 135 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,621 Duff beer! 136 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,748 Beer. Did you hear that, Marge? 137 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,585 Delicious, frosty beer. 138 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,463 Fat lot of good it does me, sitting next to old man Burns. 139 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,131 Now, Homer. 140 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:47,049 I suppose you want a beer. 141 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,510 Me, sir? No, not a chance. 142 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,345 Only idiots drink beer. 143 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,848 Actually I was wondering if you'd join me? My treat. 144 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:57,143 Well, if someone of your stature 145 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,561 can enjoy a beer, 146 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,396 maybe I'm all turned around on the subject. 147 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,898 Wait a minute. 148 00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,459 We're not having a drug test tomorrow, are we? 149 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,401 No. Vendor, two, please. 150 00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:07,862 $2.50. 151 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,239 ♪♪ 152 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:14,660 The hitter's off his rocker, kissing Betty Crocker! 153 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,996 Ha ha ha! Good one, sir. 154 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,499 Well, I used to rile the late, great Connie Mack 155 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,043 with that one at old Shibe Park. 156 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,795 Little baby batter can't control his bladder! 157 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,673 Crude, but I like it. 158 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,175 What do you say 159 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,011 we freshen up our little drinkie-poos? 160 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,013 Don't mind if I do. 161 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:37,808 ♪♪ 162 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,436 Well, Simpsy, you up for another wave? 163 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,521 All right, Burnsy. 164 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,190 - Wo! Wo! Wo! - Wa! Wa! Wa! 165 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,483 - Wo! Wo! - Wa! Wa! 166 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,420 Bases loaded. 'Topes have one out, 167 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,695 down by three. 168 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,322 Here's the pitch. 169 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,490 Swung on and missed. 170 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:53,491 Strike three. Of course. 171 00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:55,368 Damnation. 172 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,162 These banjos couldn't carry Pie Traynor's glove. 173 00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,456 Big Bill McCloskey coming up. As soon as he pops out 174 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,416 we'll go right to the postgame show. 175 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,961 C'mon, all we need is a grand slam. 176 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,966 My one game of the year 177 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,425 ruined by pathetic incompetence. 178 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,262 ♪♪ 179 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,638 What's wrong with you people? 180 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,473 Let's show some spirit! Come on, get up! 181 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,102 Your team needs you! Come on! 182 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,895 As I got up in front of them, 183 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,939 I felt an intoxication 184 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,816 that had nothing to do with alcohol. 185 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:30,695 It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle. 186 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:31,838 There's some nut down in right field 187 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,239 dancing up a storm. 188 00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,991 He's really got the crowd going. 189 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,426 Let's see if he can shake up mediocre slugger 190 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,244 Big Bill McCloskey. 191 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,542 Swung on and belted to deep left field! 192 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,796 It's going, going... 193 00:09:48,879 --> 00:09:50,298 It's gone! It's out of here! 194 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,883 My God! The Isotopes win a game! 195 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,552 The Isotopes win a game! 196 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,387 The Isotopes win a game! 197 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,222 Wow. That was certainly exciting. 198 00:09:58,306 --> 00:09:59,932 Yes. Unfortunately, 199 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:03,519 Homer Simpson's shameless display of exhibitionism 200 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,187 tainted the entire evening. 201 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,523 I want him banned for life from all company outings. 202 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,612 Way to go, Homer. 203 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,781 Hey, thank you. You're too kind. 204 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:16,907 Glad you enjoyed it, 205 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,051 but I can't take all the credit. 206 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,578 The batter did his part, too. 207 00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,414 Excuse me. You, sir, the dancing fella. 208 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:26,626 I'm Antoine Tex Ohara. I own the Isotopes. 209 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,128 Would you be interested in becoming our official mascot? 210 00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:33,257 Me? A mascot for a bush league team? 211 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,009 I should have slept on it, 212 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,303 or at least stared blankly for a while. 213 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,722 Perhaps if I had been unable to think of a nickname, 214 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,975 all our lives might have been spared. 215 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,186 Get on the bus, Dancin' Homer. 216 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,479 Will you shut up! 217 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,189 I'm trying to think of a name. 218 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,488 Well, I'm ready to punch in. 219 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,740 Ho, hey, cool, man. 220 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,825 Our lives have taken an odd turn. 221 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,870 Did the team ask you to dress like that, Homer? 222 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,164 Nope. This was my own bright idea. 223 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,666 Come on, we gotta hurry. 224 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:07,809 Don't fill up on those vegetables, kids. 225 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,502 Save room for your nachos. 226 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,337 All right! 227 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,255 ♪♪ 228 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,383 For the first time in my life, 229 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,259 people weren't laughing at me 230 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,095 they were laughing towards me. 231 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,971 'Topes win! 'Topes win! 232 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,600 Two in a row! Two in a row! 233 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,898 ♪♪ 234 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,944 A Simpson on a T-shirt. 235 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,071 I never thought I'd see the day. 236 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,156 Ooh, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie. 237 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,325 Ooh, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie. 238 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,077 Hey, knock that off 239 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,554 or I'll stick this bat where the sun don't shine. 240 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:47,331 Yeah? And where might that be? 241 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,926 Helen, I'm in a Caribbean mood tonight. 242 00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,720 How 'bout giving me "Baby Elephant Walk" 243 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,013 with a little reggae kind of beat. 244 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,600 ♪♪ 245 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,314 Go, Dancin' Homer. Git up man! Git up. 246 00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,567 Lively up yourself, Dancin' Homer. 247 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,616 Bases loaded. Two outs. 248 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,285 The good guys trail by a run. 249 00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,747 "S!" 250 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,874 "P!" "R!" 251 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:31,792 "I!" "N!" 252 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,544 "G!" "F!" 253 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,755 "E -E -L -D!" 254 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,840 Springfield! Yay! 255 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,300 Here's the pitch. 256 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,801 Swung on and missed. 257 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,344 Strike three. 258 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,846 'Topes lose. 259 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,891 'Topes lose... 'Topes lose... 260 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,565 You wanted to see me, Tex? 261 00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:57,067 Homer, now we both knew when you began doin' this 262 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,819 you weren't gonna be here forever. 263 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,156 I get it. 264 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,366 You can't fire the players, so you fire the mascot. 265 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,076 You make me sick. 266 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,288 Homer, I'm not firing you. I just got the word: 267 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,165 You've been called up to Capital City. 268 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:13,751 - Me? In the majors? - That's right. 269 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,629 Well, wait a minute. Capital City has a mascot. 270 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,798 The greatest mascot there is... 271 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,424 The Capital City Goofball. 272 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,868 Yeah, but he's gettin' on in years, 273 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,844 and he needs someone to fill in for 274 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,554 a couple of innings a night. 275 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,182 - Could be a big opportunity for ya. - I'll say. 276 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,659 Why don't you talk it over with your family? 277 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,978 Because they might say no. 278 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,023 This was the biggest decision the Simpsons ever faced. 279 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,525 I should have listened to the kids 280 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,109 instead of my big, dumb wife. 281 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,486 I shouldn't have called her that. 282 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,738 Bite my tongue. Bite my tongue. 283 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,532 I can't leave Springfield. 284 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,617 I was born here and I thought I would die here. 285 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,744 It won't be so bad. 286 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,120 You'll die someplace else. 287 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,832 Well, what am I supposed to do about friends? 288 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,376 Pfft! You'll make new and better friends. 289 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:59,129 But, Dad, we're simple people with simple values. 290 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,966 Capital City is too big and too complex. 291 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,802 Everyone in Springfield knows us and has forgiven us. 292 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,345 Homer, I'd be lying 293 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,889 if I didn't say that this scares me a little. 294 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,225 But we all have a calling... 295 00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,310 A reason the almighty put us on this Earth... 296 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,688 And yours might be to dance on dugouts. 297 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,648 - You mean... - Let's do it, Homer. 298 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,692 Yeah, let's blow this pop stand 299 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:20,775 and never look back. 300 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:21,819 Whatever doesn't kill me 301 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:23,487 can only make me stronger. 302 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,823 It's not that simple. 303 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,092 I've got to convince my supervisor 304 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,034 to give me a leave of absence. 305 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,538 Sure. What would you like? Four years? Five years? 306 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,875 So, Simpson, you're really moving to Capital City? 307 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,167 That's right, Ned. 308 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,253 All this stuff is for sale? 309 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,964 I don't know how to say this, but... 310 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,883 Knock it off, Flanders. 311 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,467 Don't start blubbering on me. 312 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,095 I'm gonna miss you too... not. 313 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,180 I don't know, Bart. 314 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,575 I mean, I'm gonna miss you and all, but... 315 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:53,017 Come on, Milhouse. 316 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,852 This way we'll be friends forever. 317 00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:57,479 Well... okay. 318 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,607 Eww! 319 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,483 I'm gonna miss you, spit brother. 320 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,986 I'm gonna miss you, spit brother. 321 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,988 I can't help but feel that 322 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,674 if we had gotten to know each other better, 323 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,617 my leaving would actually have meant something. 324 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,285 - Yeah. - Yeah, right. 325 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:15,289 Well, we have one quick stop 326 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:17,583 and then it's on to Capital City. 327 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,293 I can't believe it... 328 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,003 Our baby sister in the big city. 329 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,756 - I'll call you every day. - I'll call you, too. 330 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,884 Look, he can use a horn. 331 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,471 Shut up. 332 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,516 Some may say 333 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,603 that I have been given a bad break in life... 334 00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:39,897 Little education, 335 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,066 bald as a cue ball, 336 00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:46,445 ten years on the same job for the same salary. 337 00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:51,075 But today, as I leave for Capital City, 338 00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,327 I consider myself 339 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:57,289 the luckiest mascot on the face of the Earth. 340 00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:05,965 With the fickle fans already forgetting me 341 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,259 I was ready to take the biggest step of my life. 342 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,343 D' 343 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:20,104 Well, kids, there it is... 344 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:22,106 Capital City! 345 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:25,859 Look! The cross-town bridge! 346 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,070 - Wow. - Wow. 347 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,865 ♪♪ 348 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,493 ♪ There's a swingin' town I know ♪ 349 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,538 ♪ Called Capital City ♪ 350 00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,206 The Penny Loafer! 351 00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:43,252 ♪ People stop and scream hello in ♪ 352 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,170 ♪ Capital City ♪ 353 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,339 Kids, look! Street crime. 354 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,926 ♪ It's the kind of place that makes a bum ♪ 355 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,261 ♪ Feel like a king ♪ 356 00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,680 Wow! That's service! 357 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,974 ♪ And it makes a king ♪ 358 00:16:57,057 --> 00:17:01,437 ♪ Feel like some nutty, cuckoo super-king ♪ 359 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,480 Look, it's Tony Bennett! 360 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,066 Hey, good to see you. 361 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:10,529 ♪ It's against the law to frown in ♪ 362 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,990 ♪ Capital City ♪ 363 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:16,994 ♪ You'll caper like a stupid clown ♪ 364 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,328 ♪ When you chance to see ♪ 365 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,663 Fourth Street and D! 366 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:21,707 ♪ Fourth Street and D, yeah! ♪ 367 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,168 ♪ Once you get a whiff of it ♪ 368 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,754 ♪ You'll never want to roam ♪ 369 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,548 The Duff brewery! 370 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,259 ♪ Capital City, My home, sweet, yeah! ♪ 371 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,094 ♪ Capital City ♪ 372 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,679 ♪ That happy, tall city ♪ 373 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,223 ♪ It's Capital City ♪ 374 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,643 ♪ My home, sweet, swinging home! ♪ 375 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,068 Capital City. Yeah! 376 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,990 C... A... 377 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,784 P... 378 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,869 I... 379 00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,038 Come to bed, Homie. 380 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,331 Sorry, honey. 381 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,709 I'm just a little nervous. 382 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,588 We would talk about it always. 383 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:12,633 For the first time in our lives 384 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:15,219 Marge fell asleep before I did. 385 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,198 Okay, here are your tickets. 386 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:19,723 They are supposed to be good. 387 00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,850 You're sitting with the players' wives. 388 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,519 And don't forget to cheer for me. 389 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,438 See you after the game when you're a big star. 390 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,941 Bart was strangely quiet. 391 00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,384 Later, he explained he was confused 392 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,569 by feelings of respect for me. 393 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:33,529 It wouldn't last. 394 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,612 Wow. 395 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:40,994 My God! I don't believe it. 396 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,496 It's really you... 397 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,289 The Capital City Goofball. 398 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,917 Hello, Dancin' Homer. Glad to have you aboard. 399 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,669 If there's anything I can do for you... 400 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,754 Just squeeze the wheeze. 401 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,133 The fifth inning will be yours. 402 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,509 Everyone is settled in. 403 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,219 They've had a couple of beers. 404 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,680 The game is official. It's a pretty important inning. 405 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,931 Wow, the fifth. 406 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:02,850 It's also the inning I wish I had a zipper 407 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,352 on the front of this thing, if you know what I mean. 408 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,311 Right, Mr. Goofball. 409 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,105 Hey, call me plain old "Goof." 410 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,190 So, what exactly do you have planned for us? 411 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,441 Well, I get up, I dance, 412 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,068 I spell out the name of the city 413 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,987 all to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk." 414 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,656 Mancini, the mascot's best friend. 415 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,241 Well, see you on that field. 416 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,286 I'll set 'em up. You knock 'em down. 417 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,166 ♪♪ -Well, hello again everybody. 418 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,667 Dave Glass talking at you. 419 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,753 We got great weather here tonight under the dome. 420 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,714 Let's see. 421 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:37,676 Upper, upper, upper mezzanine. 422 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,554 Well, these must be ours. 423 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,848 - These seats stink! - You'd think players' wives 424 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,641 would be a little closer to the action. 425 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,603 Actually, this section is for the players' ex-wives. 426 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,521 And then I found out that all the while, 427 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,940 there was this bimbo in Kansas City. 428 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,233 Throw at his head! 429 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,695 Who'd have thought it? 430 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,989 A free ticket to a big league park, 431 00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,866 but I was too tense to enjoy the game. 432 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,910 Every ounce of concentration I possessed 433 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,262 was focused on the task at hand. 434 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:07,039 Red Hots! Get your Red Hots here! 435 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,498 Ooh, Red Hots. 436 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,042 Ladies and gentlemen 437 00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,418 Capital City's newest sensation, 438 00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:14,713 Dancin' Homer! 439 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:17,633 These do taste better at the ball park. 440 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,095 There he is! 441 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,390 I was graceful. I was witty. 442 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,559 Brother, I was something. 443 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,394 But they didn't care. 444 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,232 What is with these people? 445 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,667 Why are they sitting on their hands? 446 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:35,859 Mom, what's he doing wrong? 447 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,778 I don't know. 448 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,655 It was so quiet, 449 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,341 you could hear each individual smart-ass remark. 450 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,575 Well, this guy doesn't make me want to cheer. 451 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,244 Gee, I really pity him, 452 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,263 making a fool of himself in front of so many people. 453 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,122 These cornball antics may play in the sticks, 454 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,041 but this is Capital City. 455 00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,751 The only applause I got 456 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,434 was for dragging my carcass out of there. 457 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,881 Hey, Mr. Showmanship. 458 00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,300 The owner wants to see you in his office right now. 459 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,427 I'm sorry, young man, you're just not ready. 460 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,947 Pick up your check at the front office, 461 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,764 and for God's sake, put some clothes on! 462 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,183 Well, I guess it's back to good old Springfield. 463 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,519 But I can't go back! Not after I've seen 464 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,104 the bright lights of Capital City. 465 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:14,398 I'll wither and die like a hothouse flower. 466 00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:16,817 Now stop it, you two, and don't look too down. 467 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,069 I'm sure this is hard enough for your father. 468 00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,823 Way to go, man! All right, Dad! 469 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:24,157 What a family. 470 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,493 My wife and kids stood by me. 471 00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:27,786 On the way home, 472 00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,579 I realized how little that helped. 473 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:33,458 So that's it. The costume's buried now. 474 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:37,754 As my son would say, I'm one sad ape-like dude. 475 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,506 - Wow! - What a saga. 476 00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:43,051 Hey. You guys are hanging on my every word. 477 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,928 I've become the center of attention. 478 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,305 Yeah, it's riveting. 479 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,472 Tell it again, Homer. 480 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,599 Okay. 481 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,144 I wonder why stories of degradation and humiliation 482 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,478 make you more popular. 483 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:56,398 I don't know. They just do. 484 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:04,281 ♪ There's a swingin' town I know called ♪ 485 00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:07,868 ♪ Capital City ♪ 486 00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:12,414 ♪ People stop and scream hello in ♪ 487 00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:16,001 ♪ Capital City ♪ 488 00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:20,505 ♪ It's the kind of place that makes a bum ♪ 489 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,092 ♪ Feel like a king ♪ 490 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,386 ♪ And it makes a king ♪ 491 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:32,267 ♪ Feel like some nutty, cuckoo super-king ♪ 492 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:37,064 ♪ It's against the law to frown in ♪ 493 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:40,067 ♪ Capital City ♪ 494 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:43,570 ♪ You'll caper like a stupid clown ♪ 495 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:46,281 ♪ When you chance to see ♪ 496 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,492 ♪ Fourth Street and D, yeah! ♪ 497 00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:51,995 ♪ Once you get a whiff of it ♪ 498 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,665 ♪ You'll never want to roam ♪ 499 00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,793 ♪ From Capital City ♪ 500 00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:03,715 ♪ My home, sweet swingin' home ♪ 501 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,722 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.