1 00:01:05,404 --> 00:01:07,338 D'oh! 2 00:01:24,423 --> 00:01:28,792 - Well, children, it's the last day of school. - Yea! 3 00:01:28,894 --> 00:01:32,227 Here are your grades. 4 00:01:32,331 --> 00:01:34,231 Oh, no, Mrs. Krabappel. 5 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:37,666 If I don't get a "C" average, my dad won't let me go to Kamp Krusty. 6 00:01:37,769 --> 00:01:40,636 Well, it isn't fair to the other children, but all right. 7 00:01:43,809 --> 00:01:47,370 Much obliged, doll! 8 00:01:47,479 --> 00:01:50,277 Oh, Bart Simpson, I'm gonna miss you. 9 00:01:50,382 --> 00:01:53,112 Attention, everyone. This is Principal Skinner. 10 00:01:53,218 --> 00:01:56,619 I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction. 11 00:02:02,828 --> 00:02:06,059 Now, let's trash this dump. 12 00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:23,512 Somebody put a torch to these permanent records. Quickly, now. 13 00:02:31,423 --> 00:02:33,755 Wake up, boy. 14 00:02:33,859 --> 00:02:38,558 I dreamt it was the last day of school. 15 00:02:38,664 --> 00:02:40,757 Well, it is. 16 00:02:40,866 --> 00:02:45,496 Oh, how do I know this isn't Some beautiful dream too? 17 00:02:45,604 --> 00:02:48,698 Ow! You know, a pinch is more traditional. 18 00:02:54,947 --> 00:02:57,211 Homer, you do remember your promise to the children? 19 00:02:57,316 --> 00:03:00,683 Sure do! When you're 1 8, you're out the door! 20 00:03:00,786 --> 00:03:05,246 No, Dad, you promised if Bart and I got "C" averages, we could go to Kamp Krusty. 21 00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:08,884 And with no false modesty, you're lookin' at one happy camper. 22 00:03:08,994 --> 00:03:10,894 Yeah. 23 00:03:10,996 --> 00:03:14,397 Remember, when you see my report card, they got this new grading system this year. 24 00:03:14,499 --> 00:03:16,399 It now goes, "D," "B," "A," "C." 25 00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:20,198 Listen, boy, we have an understanding, and you'd better keep your end of it. 26 00:03:20,305 --> 00:03:24,765 I don't think I'd be any kind of a father If you got D's, and I let you go to Kamp Krusty. 27 00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:26,434 But, Dad! 28 00:03:26,545 --> 00:03:29,742 if you want something in this life, you have to work for it. 29 00:03:29,848 --> 00:03:32,316 Now, quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. 30 00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:35,147 - Seventeen, 32-- - D'oh! 31 00:03:35,253 --> 00:03:36,413 - five-- - D'oh! 32 00:03:36,521 --> 00:03:37,818 - eight-- - Whoo-hoo! 33 00:03:37,923 --> 00:03:39,652 - 47. - D'oh! 34 00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,988 Attention, students. 35 00:03:42,094 --> 00:03:44,654 Please clear out your lockers into the waste baskets provided. 36 00:03:44,763 --> 00:03:49,462 Thirty-six, 24, 36. Ha, ha, ha. 37 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,369 Now, let's see what we got here. 38 00:03:55,307 --> 00:03:57,935 Ah, my gym shorts. 39 00:04:02,147 --> 00:04:04,115 Here are your final report cards. 40 00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:06,514 I have nothing left to say to any of you. 41 00:04:06,618 --> 00:04:09,382 So if nobody minds, let's just quietly run out the clock. 42 00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:17,588 I've never gotten a "B" before. 43 00:04:17,696 --> 00:04:20,324 How could this have happened? I feel so dirty! 44 00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:25,002 The dirt's not coming off!. 45 00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:27,435 Okay. Calm down. 46 00:04:27,539 --> 00:04:30,406 This must just be a little typo. 47 00:04:30,509 --> 00:04:34,605 Oh, Miss Hoover! There appears to be a mistake on my report card. 48 00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:37,204 You gave me a B-plus in conduct? 49 00:04:37,315 --> 00:04:40,045 Now, Lisa, everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record. 50 00:04:40,152 --> 00:04:42,848 Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. 51 00:04:42,954 --> 00:04:47,914 - I think you should reconsider. - Lisa, you're hurting me! 52 00:04:49,795 --> 00:04:52,355 Mrs. Krabappel, in figuring out my final grades... 53 00:04:52,464 --> 00:04:55,365 I hope you'll note that all Of my textbooks are being returned... 54 00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,435 in excellent condition-- 55 00:04:57,536 --> 00:05:00,437 in some cases, still in their original wrappings. 56 00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:02,439 Duly noted. 57 00:05:02,541 --> 00:05:05,510 I'd also like to add, as I gaze upon your beauty... 58 00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:08,841 I've never seen an angel fly so low. 59 00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:10,847 Forget it, short pants. 60 00:05:12,384 --> 00:05:15,217 Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a "C" average... 61 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,220 I can't go to Kamp Krusty! 62 00:05:17,322 --> 00:05:22,055 Have a "D"-lightful summer! 63 00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:26,455 - Five! - Four! 64 00:05:26,565 --> 00:05:29,466 - Three! - Two! - Don't open your mouth. 65 00:05:29,568 --> 00:05:32,901 One! 66 00:05:40,212 --> 00:05:43,511 Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War I ended. 67 00:05:44,616 --> 00:05:48,017 - We won! - Yea! U.S.A! 68 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,020 U.S.A! 69 00:05:50,122 --> 00:05:52,022 U.S.A! U.S.A! 70 00:05:52,124 --> 00:05:56,584 I haven't seen such unfettered hurly-burly since the fall of Saigon. 71 00:05:56,695 --> 00:05:59,664 Well, William, another school year gone by. 72 00:05:59,765 --> 00:06:03,724 - And may I say, a job well done, sir? - Well, back to work then. 73 00:06:03,835 --> 00:06:06,463 Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing. 74 00:06:06,571 --> 00:06:08,562 We want the old girls sparkling when I get back. 75 00:06:08,673 --> 00:06:12,609 Aye, sir. Eh, you silk-wearing buttercup! 76 00:06:12,778 --> 00:06:17,442 All right! Three whole months Of Spaghetti Os and daytime TV! 77 00:06:20,585 --> 00:06:24,385 So, Bart, will you be joining me in the bucolic splendor of Kamp Krusty? 78 00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:28,255 You bet. Check out this hand. All aces. 79 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:32,319 A-plus! 80 00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:36,389 Oh, Bart, why didn't you at least forge plausible grades? 81 00:06:36,501 --> 00:06:38,401 Oh! 82 00:06:38,503 --> 00:06:40,403 Hi, kids! 83 00:06:40,505 --> 00:06:43,474 Only one week left to sign up for the bestest summer ever at Kamp Krusty! 84 00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:52,347 Whoa! 85 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:56,910 Hey! Kamp Krusty is built on an actual Indian burial ground. 86 00:06:57,022 --> 00:06:59,547 We've got archery, wallet-making-- the whole megillah. 87 00:06:59,658 --> 00:07:02,126 And for you fat kids... 88 00:07:02,227 --> 00:07:04,787 my exclusive program of diet and ridicule... 89 00:07:04,896 --> 00:07:08,059 will really get results. 90 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,794 And the best part is, when you come to Kamp Krusty... 91 00:07:10,902 --> 00:07:13,370 you'll spend the summer with me! 92 00:07:13,471 --> 00:07:16,838 Honest Injun! 93 00:07:18,276 --> 00:07:21,143 Well, here goes nothin'. 94 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,548 D'oh! Stupid roller skate. 95 00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:30,644 Well, Dad, here's my report card. 96 00:07:30,755 --> 00:07:33,315 I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 97 00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,552 A-plus? 98 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:38,652 - You don't think much of me, do you, boy? - No, sir. 99 00:07:38,763 --> 00:07:42,597 You know, a "D" turns into a "B" so easily. You just got greedy. 100 00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:44,498 So I won't get to go to camp? 101 00:07:44,603 --> 00:07:48,801 Now, Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. 102 00:07:48,907 --> 00:07:52,274 And you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistake? 103 00:07:52,377 --> 00:07:54,572 - You mean I can go? - Yeah. 104 00:07:54,679 --> 00:07:56,943 I didn't want you hanging around all summer anyway. 105 00:07:57,048 --> 00:08:01,007 Oh, Dad, you're the best father a boy could ever have! 106 00:08:01,119 --> 00:08:03,917 Thanks, son. Now, you've got little hands. 107 00:08:04,022 --> 00:08:07,219 Can you reach under that mower and pull out that skate? 108 00:08:07,325 --> 00:08:10,294 Phew. Never mind. 109 00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:17,430 Bart, where's your bathing suit? 110 00:08:17,535 --> 00:08:19,765 - I'm gonna swim "nekkid." - You're what? 111 00:08:19,871 --> 00:08:22,738 Ah, sure, there'll be a couple Of up-tight counselors... 112 00:08:22,841 --> 00:08:25,139 who won't dig the Bart philosophy... 113 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,701 but I feel the human body is a thing of beauty. 114 00:08:28,813 --> 00:08:32,340 Marge, am I crazy or is my back getting hairier? 115 00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:35,078 Before I go to camp, I'll need boosters for malaria... 116 00:08:35,186 --> 00:08:37,654 German measles, encephalitis, Hansen's disease-- 117 00:08:37,756 --> 00:08:42,056 Oh, now, I'm afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria. 118 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,560 There's only one known cure-- 119 00:08:44,663 --> 00:08:47,359 a "wowwipop." 120 00:08:47,465 --> 00:08:49,558 Don't patronize me, Doctor. 121 00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:52,637 It's our last family dinner for six weeks... 122 00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:55,069 but I promised myself I wouldn't cry. 123 00:09:02,113 --> 00:09:05,082 Oh, I'm going to miss this! 124 00:09:05,183 --> 00:09:07,208 Hey, hands off my pickle! 125 00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:10,220 - I don't see your name on it, boy. - No, but-- 126 00:09:10,322 --> 00:09:12,222 Oh, yeah? 127 00:09:12,324 --> 00:09:14,224 Check... mate! 128 00:09:14,326 --> 00:09:16,487 Always thinking two moves ahead. 129 00:09:16,594 --> 00:09:20,394 We'll see you when you get back from Image Enhancement Camp. 130 00:09:20,498 --> 00:09:24,901 Spare me your euphemisms. It's fat camp for Daddy's chubby little secret! 131 00:09:25,003 --> 00:09:26,903 You promised you wouldn't make a scene. 132 00:09:27,005 --> 00:09:28,996 Mmm! 133 00:09:29,107 --> 00:09:31,803 Good-bye, my special little guy! 134 00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:35,004 Mmm! Mmm! Lisa, watch out for poison ivy. 135 00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:37,911 Remember: leaves of three, let it be. 136 00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:41,110 Leaves of four, eat some more. 137 00:09:41,219 --> 00:09:43,619 - Good-bye. Good-bye, sweetie. - Good-bye, Mom. 138 00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:46,748 - Bye, Dad! I'll write you every day! - Don't look in my closet. 139 00:09:46,858 --> 00:09:48,917 In fact, stay out Of my room altogether. 140 00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:52,155 If the pets die, don't replace them. I'll know! 141 00:10:00,205 --> 00:10:02,105 So long! Don't come back! 142 00:10:07,512 --> 00:10:10,948 Hi, kids! Welcome to Kamp Krusty! 143 00:10:11,049 --> 00:10:15,179 I'll see you in a few weeks. 144 00:10:15,286 --> 00:10:17,379 Until then, I've turned things over... 145 00:10:17,489 --> 00:10:19,616 to my bestest buddy in the whole wide world-- 146 00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:21,351 Mr. Black. 147 00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:23,484 - I want you to treat-- - Mr. Black. 148 00:10:23,595 --> 00:10:25,495 with the same respect you would give me. 149 00:10:25,597 --> 00:10:29,658 - Now here's-- - Mr. Black. 150 00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:32,236 Thank you, Krusty, and welcome, children. 151 00:10:32,337 --> 00:10:34,635 I am Mr. Black, your head counselor. 152 00:10:34,739 --> 00:10:38,470 For the past 1 5 years, I was president of Euro-Krustyland... 153 00:10:38,576 --> 00:10:40,942 until it blew up. 154 00:10:41,046 --> 00:10:44,106 I'll take any questions you might have. You, and then one more. 155 00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:47,446 - Can we call you Uncle Blackie? - No. Last question. 156 00:10:47,552 --> 00:10:51,010 - When do we get to see Krusty? - Uh, he will be along eventually. 157 00:10:51,122 --> 00:10:53,920 In the meantime, our counselors Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney... 158 00:10:54,025 --> 00:10:57,324 will be happy to handle any problems you may have. 159 00:11:00,198 --> 00:11:02,962 Looks like we got ourselves a troublemaker. 160 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:11,375 You can have the shower to yourself, Homie. 161 00:11:11,476 --> 00:11:14,536 - I'm finished. - Oh, no, you're not. 162 00:11:14,646 --> 00:11:16,546 Ohh! 163 00:11:16,648 --> 00:11:19,845 Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S. 164 00:11:30,195 --> 00:11:33,062 This is a little more rustic than I expected. 165 00:11:33,164 --> 00:11:35,530 I'm not worried, Lise. You know why? 166 00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:39,091 Because of this. The Krusty Brand Seal of Approval. 167 00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:41,866 You can only find it on products which meet the high personal standards... 168 00:11:41,973 --> 00:11:44,203 of Krusty the Clown. 169 00:11:45,743 --> 00:11:47,870 - Ow! - Oops. I should've warned you. 170 00:11:47,979 --> 00:11:51,107 That clock gets incredibly hot If you leave it plugged in. 171 00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:53,980 That's okay. Uh, all this stuff is fine. 172 00:11:56,121 --> 00:11:58,646 Now I am off to Wimbledon! 173 00:12:01,826 --> 00:12:04,090 Don't we get to roast marshmallows? 174 00:12:04,195 --> 00:12:07,494 Shut up and eat your pinecone. 175 00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:17,898 Uh, are you sure that's safe? 176 00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:21,604 Well, it ain't gettin' any safer. 177 00:12:26,151 --> 00:12:28,551 All right, you balls of pan drippings! 178 00:12:28,653 --> 00:12:31,053 I want to see Crisco coming out of those pores! 179 00:12:31,156 --> 00:12:35,183 We're not leaving until this Christmas ham gives me a pull-up. 180 00:12:53,378 --> 00:12:55,608 Louder! Faster! 181 00:13:34,619 --> 00:13:37,452 - You're serving us gruel? - Not quite. 182 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,820 This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. 183 00:13:40,925 --> 00:13:44,452 Nine out of 1 0 orphans can't tell the difference. 184 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:48,430 - Yo, Mr. Black. Another brandy. - Gentlemen, to evil. 185 00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:52,697 Marge, since the kids left, I've lost five pounds! 186 00:13:52,804 --> 00:13:54,931 Oh, that's wonderful! 187 00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:57,701 And look-- new hair! 188 00:13:57,809 --> 00:14:00,437 I'm this close to having a comb-over. 189 00:14:02,547 --> 00:14:04,447 Oh! 190 00:14:04,549 --> 00:14:08,212 Lights out, losers! 191 00:14:08,319 --> 00:14:11,584 Yeah, we're meetin' some tail on the other side of the lake. 192 00:14:16,294 --> 00:14:20,458 - I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart. - We're all gonna die, Lise. 193 00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:23,193 - I meant soon. - So did I. 194 00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:28,705 Mmm. Strawberries. 195 00:14:28,806 --> 00:14:32,242 Mmm. Ah, that's good. 196 00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:35,938 Hey, Lendl! Choke! Choke! Yeah! 197 00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,345 Point and game, Becker. 198 00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:42,408 And will the harlequin in the third row Please keep his voice down? 199 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,387 Sorry, folks. 200 00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:48,516 - Sorry, Your Majesty. - Hmph! 201 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:51,424 Dear kids, I hope this letter finds you well. 202 00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:53,429 We're doing great. 203 00:14:53,531 --> 00:14:56,159 Your father is in the best shape he's been since-- 204 00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:58,235 well, ever! 205 00:14:58,336 --> 00:15:01,965 Strength! Agility! 206 00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:04,041 We miss you terribly. 207 00:15:04,142 --> 00:15:08,476 I hope these jelly bean cookies will tide you over until you get home. 208 00:15:08,579 --> 00:15:12,140 Hey, Simpson! Tell your mom her cookies sucked. 209 00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:18,211 Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell... 210 00:15:18,323 --> 00:15:20,723 because I've been to Kamp Krusty. 211 00:15:20,825 --> 00:15:24,192 Our nature hikes have become grim death marches. 212 00:15:27,565 --> 00:15:31,001 - A snake bit me. - Back in line, maggot! 213 00:15:33,271 --> 00:15:37,332 Our arts and crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian workhouse. 214 00:15:38,609 --> 00:15:40,509 Come on, wimps! 215 00:15:40,611 --> 00:15:43,580 These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Friday. 216 00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:49,712 Bart makes it through the days relying on his unwavering belief... 217 00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:52,221 that Krusty the Clown will come through. 218 00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:55,121 Krusty is coming. Krusty is coming. Krusty's coming. 219 00:15:55,226 --> 00:15:57,126 But I am far more pessimistic. 220 00:16:01,232 --> 00:16:04,531 I am not sure If this letter will reach you as our lines of communication have been cut. 221 00:16:04,635 --> 00:16:06,796 Giddyap! 222 00:16:06,904 --> 00:16:09,532 Now the effort of writing Has made me lightheaded... 223 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:13,633 so I close by saying, "Save us! Save us now!'" 224 00:16:13,745 --> 00:16:16,305 Bart and Lisa. 225 00:16:16,414 --> 00:16:18,644 Ah, kids' letters from camp. 226 00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:23,380 Oh, she complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't want to leave. 227 00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:31,653 Lisa, I've been thinking it over. Next summer, I'm getting a job. 228 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,563 Oh, Homer. It's getting late. 229 00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:40,569 We'll miss the fireworks. 230 00:16:40,671 --> 00:16:44,573 Marge, we've got all the fireworks we need right here. 231 00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:51,239 Well, kids, I promised you a little treat in lieu of dinner... 232 00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,249 and here it is-- 233 00:16:53,351 --> 00:16:57,788 the man who took an abandoned mule tannery and turned it into a summer wonderland... 234 00:16:57,889 --> 00:16:59,789 Mr. Krusty the Clown. 235 00:16:59,891 --> 00:17:03,327 See? I told you Krusty would come. just like I said. 236 00:17:03,428 --> 00:17:06,886 He's gonna bring us food and water, and smite our enemies! 237 00:17:09,233 --> 00:17:12,999 Now, I must tell you kids, Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back... 238 00:17:13,104 --> 00:17:16,232 so he won't be saying anything or doing anything. 239 00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:18,001 Krusty looks fat. 240 00:17:18,109 --> 00:17:20,304 He's really having trouble keeping his balance. 241 00:17:20,411 --> 00:17:23,244 He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny. 242 00:17:23,347 --> 00:17:26,475 That's not Krusty the Clown! 243 00:17:26,584 --> 00:17:29,781 What do you think? I slapped a clown suit on some wino? 244 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:32,412 - I mean, I-- - Yeah, Bart. 245 00:17:32,523 --> 00:17:35,651 I am so Krunchy the Clown! 246 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,955 All right. That's it. 247 00:17:38,062 --> 00:17:40,326 I've been scorched by Krusty before. 248 00:17:40,431 --> 00:17:42,899 I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins. 249 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,468 My Krusty calculator didn't have a seven or an eight! 250 00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:48,664 And Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions. 251 00:17:48,773 --> 00:17:51,105 But this time, he's gone too far! 252 00:17:51,209 --> 00:17:54,610 We want Krusty! We want Krusty! 253 00:17:54,712 --> 00:17:56,612 We want Krusty! 254 00:17:56,714 --> 00:18:00,582 Yeah, we want Krunchy! We want Krunchy! 255 00:18:00,685 --> 00:18:03,882 - I thought you said you broke their spirits. - We did. 256 00:18:03,988 --> 00:18:06,513 - You broke nothing. - Let's get 'em! 257 00:18:06,624 --> 00:18:08,524 To the hydrofoil! 258 00:18:16,901 --> 00:18:20,462 My chunky brothers, gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom! 259 00:18:22,874 --> 00:18:27,038 Ahh! Sweet, nourishing gruel! 260 00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:30,136 - Kowalski! - My brownies! 261 00:18:30,248 --> 00:18:32,944 - Wiggum! - A change of underwear! 262 00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:36,042 - Crandall! - My insulin! 263 00:18:41,025 --> 00:18:44,051 Bart! You said you were gonna name it Camp Freedom! 264 00:18:44,161 --> 00:18:46,186 Aah, this has more zing. 265 00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:48,595 I dub thee Sir-- 266 00:18:48,699 --> 00:18:50,997 Urgent call for Mr. Clown. 267 00:18:51,102 --> 00:18:54,196 This better be important. Oy, gevalt! 268 00:18:54,305 --> 00:18:58,036 just let your head flop back and forth. 269 00:18:58,142 --> 00:19:01,441 Your neck is a well-cooked piece of asparagus. 270 00:19:01,546 --> 00:19:05,710 We interrupt Sadrudin Mabaradad's Yoga Party for this special bulletin-- 271 00:19:05,816 --> 00:19:08,341 "Krisis at Kamp Krusty." 272 00:19:08,452 --> 00:19:11,751 Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq... 273 00:19:11,856 --> 00:19:13,983 and I can say without hyperbole... 274 00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:17,857 that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. 275 00:19:17,962 --> 00:19:21,796 Burn, Krusty, burn! Burn, Krusty, burn! 276 00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:25,960 A group of school-aged Spartacuses has taken this camp by force. 277 00:19:26,070 --> 00:19:29,198 Three counselors are missing and presumed scared. 278 00:19:29,307 --> 00:19:34,438 What's that? I'm being told I can have an exclusive interview with the ringleader. 279 00:19:34,545 --> 00:19:36,979 Don't be the boy. Don't be the boy. 280 00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:41,385 D'oh! 281 00:19:43,554 --> 00:19:47,752 I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. 282 00:19:47,858 --> 00:19:50,691 - Can I say "crappy" on TV? - Yes, on this network, you can. 283 00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:55,655 Is it true you attempted suicide when you heard the news? 284 00:19:55,766 --> 00:19:59,167 - Are you and Princess Di just friends? - You people make me sick! 285 00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:02,068 You're vultures! Where were you when I sang at Farm Aid? 286 00:20:02,173 --> 00:20:05,233 Out of my way, you parasites! I said, out of my way! 287 00:20:07,111 --> 00:20:10,877 I'm no fake. I'm the real Krusty. 288 00:20:10,982 --> 00:20:15,316 Oh, yeah? Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom President Clown? 289 00:20:15,419 --> 00:20:18,980 I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year. 290 00:20:19,090 --> 00:20:22,150 I smell bacon. Let's see if he's wearing a wire! 291 00:20:22,259 --> 00:20:25,387 Hey! Whoa! No! Not the face! 292 00:20:25,496 --> 00:20:27,225 It is the real Krusty. 293 00:20:27,331 --> 00:20:30,630 Look at that pacemaker scar, the cattle skull birthmark... 294 00:20:30,735 --> 00:20:32,896 and his famous superfluous nipple. 295 00:20:33,004 --> 00:20:34,904 At least you're not as bad as Customs. 296 00:20:35,006 --> 00:20:39,170 How could you, Krusty? I'd never lend my name to an inferior product. 297 00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:41,938 Oh! 298 00:20:42,046 --> 00:20:45,174 They drove a dump truck full Of money up to my house. 299 00:20:45,282 --> 00:20:48,513 I'm not made of stone! 300 00:20:48,619 --> 00:20:50,519 Krusty, this camp was a nightmare. 301 00:20:50,621 --> 00:20:53,419 They fed us gruel. They forced us to make wallets for export. 302 00:20:53,524 --> 00:20:56,049 And one of the campers was eaten by a bear. 303 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,720 Oh, my God! 304 00:20:58,829 --> 00:21:01,457 - Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat. - Was it a nice hat? 305 00:21:01,565 --> 00:21:05,262 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, my God! 306 00:21:05,369 --> 00:21:09,738 I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm gonna Show you kids the time of your life. 307 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,106 Get ready for two weeks at the Happiest Place on Earth-- 308 00:21:14,211 --> 00:21:16,111 Tijuana! 309 00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:50,873 Olé! 310 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net