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The Simpsons - Season 20 Episode 02
"Lost Verizon"

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~ This English Subtitle is brought to you by ~
~ www.tv4user.de ~

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~ www.tv4user.de ~
~ Biggest German Website for Subtitles ~

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TEACHER'S DIET IS WORKING

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Aye, caramba!

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Out of gas?!
But how?

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I put a dollar in this morning
and we've only driven 90 cents.

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You had to drive with the windows
down, didn't ya, Rockefeller?

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Now get some gas while I read
my bingo strategy guide.

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Let's see, B-12...

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I did it!

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Bonehead.

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This counts as a
parent-teacher conference!

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Whoa! Am I seeing this right?

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PRINCIPAL CROSSING FREEWAY
- EXPECT DELAYS

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I am. Time to spread the word.

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- Hey, Milhouse.
- Talk to me.

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Skinner's doing what?

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- I'm on my way.
- I'm on my way.

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I'll clean you up good, giant beer can.

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- Where's Simpson?
- I couldn't get a hold of him.

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No cell phone. But if I know Bart, But if I
know Bart, he's busy doing something awesome.

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I don't know why I agreed to this.

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Because you love the
taste of my imaginary tea.

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Oh, you're right.

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Hey, Spaz! While you were here spazzing
yourself, you totally missed out.

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Missed out? I didn't miss
out. What'd I miss out on?

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I wish I had a cell phone.

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Here's an imaginary cell phone.

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What, do you think I'm crazy?

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Mom, even Milhouse has a cell phone.

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Your son is lamer than Milhouse.
What does that say about you?

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Sweetie, we can't afford
to get you a cell phone.

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As it is, I'm buying
frozen peas on installments.

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ACCOUNT OVERDUE - FINAL NOTICE

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WE'RE NOT KIDDING!

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Oh, I'm never gonna get a cell phone.

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And I'm never gonna go to Machu Picchu.

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In this family, you get
used to disappointments.

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ME SAD 2

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How am I ever gonna get a cell phone?

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- Is this your ball?
- Why, yes, it is.

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- Here you go.
- Don't tell me where I go.

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A dollar?
What for?

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It's the least I can do. These
balls cost five dollars new.

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So I can get a dollar
for every ball I find?

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Then if a cell phone costs
$100, how many balls do I need?

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This is why my kids go to private school.

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I'll fix you, you varmint!

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Wow, I'm just 20 balls away from a cell phone.

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So it's you! You're the one who's
been poaching on me territory.

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Groundskeeper Willie?

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Weekends and summers,
I'm Greenskeeper Willie.

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Your ball-scavenging days are over.

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And those orphan golf
balls belong to me.

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Ah! Dimpled gold. I'm rich.

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Now I won't have to pleasure a
country-club wife to get me steak dinner.

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I'm never gonna get a cell phone.

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THE KRUSTY KLASSIC CELEBRITY PRO-AM
NOT A PENNY FOR CHARITY

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Oh, great! We've got
to wait for Denis Leary.

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Hey, Leary, if you want to have
a tea party, go back to Boston.

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Boston.

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Come on, Ice Age. Take the shot.

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"Ice Age"was the name of the film. I played Diego,

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the vicious saber-toothed tiger,
who, guess what, has a heart.

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Now shut up or I'll have you
all kicked out of show business.

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Damn it!

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A cell phone!

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It's mine!

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Aw, cool. You can even
watch commercials on it.

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Hey, Milhouse, guess
where I'm calling from?

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Well, I know you don't have a cell
phone, so you must be in your kitchen.

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Or one of your bedrooms.

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Unless you have a wall
jack in your basement.

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- That would be huge!
- Look outside your window.

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I'm not supposed to look out
the window when I'm alone.

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Just do it!

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Cell phone!

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Let's assign each other ringtones.

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That felt good.

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Hello. You want Denis Leary?
Wrong number, dumb-ass.

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Come on, Denis. It's me,
producer Brian Grazer.

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I just paid $5 million for the screen
rights to the book Everybody Poops.

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I'm a big fan.

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Only one face came to mind for
the constipated gorilla: yours.

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Sure-- on one condition.
I want to do my own poops.

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I wouldn't have it any other way.

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Of course I'll do it for minimum.

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Great. I'll see you
next Monday in Tunisia.

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This phone belongs to Denis Leary!

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Denis Leary?

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Boston comedian-turned-movie-star-
turned-basic-cable-notable?

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That's right. Let's call his
business manager and tell him to spend

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all his money on Yankees
hats and Derek Jeter jerseys.

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I don't know, Bart. What
if Denis Leary gets mad?

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Naw, he's cool. He's gonna
think this is hilarious.

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ONE WEEK LATER...
IN TUNESIA

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No longer must we live in shame!

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Let the decree go forth: everybody poops!

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And... cut!

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Great, great, man. You really nailed it!

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I don't even rember
agreeing to be in this movie.

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Well, you did. Bring in the poop.

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Milhouse, I hold in this
hand Denis Leary's cell phone,

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and in this hand, the phone
numbers of bars around the world.

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Let's start with Hawaii.

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- Aloha.
- Aloha to you.

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I'm looking for Maya. Last name Normousbutt.

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Hang on. I'll check. Has anyone
here seen Maya Normousbutt?

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I got a "Drew P. Wiener" here.
Anyone expecting a Drew P. Wiener?

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I hold in my hand a Drew P. Wiener.

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Better put it down then, mate.

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INGA-BAR BEERMAN'S

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Ja?

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I shall inquire.

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Is there a Mr. Myfriendsaregay?

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First name Olaf?

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Attention, everyone.

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Olaf Myfriendsaregay.

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Wait a minute. If I ever get a hold of you...

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I will thank you for showing me
the futility of human endeavor.

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Oh, the sun never sets
on the Bartish Empire.

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- Yo. Who's this?
- Denis Leary, you little puke!

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I'm gonna rip out your
heart with two fingers!

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They taught me how to do it for my show!

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Which one, the one that got canceled
or the one that's gonna get canceled?

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You are so dead!

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That laughter sounds like
the result of misbehavior.

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Bart, how did you get a cell phone?

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Same way you got me: by
accident, on a golf course.

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- Whose phone is this?
- You'll never get it out of me.

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- Okay. Milhouse?
- It's Denis Leary's!

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I'm sorry, Bart. I'm desperate
for any signs of adult approval.

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You did the right thing.

135
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Uh... Bart Simpson's stolen
cell phone. Can I help you?

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Damn straight you can! I'm Denis
Leary, and your kid is out of control!

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I'm sorry, Mr. Leary. Sometimes
it's hard to be a parent.

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No it's not. It's easy!
I'll tell you what's hard:

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having to watch my stunt double
run into a burning building,

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worrying that people might
realize it's not me; it's him.

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Try doing that!

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I don't think I could.

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Mr. Leary, I'm so sorry. I'll send
you your phone back right away.

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Keep the phone. In fact, can I give you some advice?

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Of course. You're Denis Leary!

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Give your kid back the phone... but
first, activate its built-in GPS system.

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That way you can log on
to your carrier's Web site

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and track your son's movements,

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the way I track every actor who
gets a movie that I was up for.

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Shouldn't you just be
happy for their success?

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I should be a lot of things, lady.

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My Tarts!

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SATELLITE TRACKING ON

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Okay, here goes.

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Bart, I have something for you!

156
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Wait a minute. I thought you
said I couldn't have this.

157
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Well, sweetie... I know I said
you couldn't have a cell phone,

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but, in these days of stranger
dangers and sinister ministers,

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I think it's important
that we're in touch.

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Lady, you are the best mom ever!

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- Did he take the bait?
- Like a big-mouthed bass.

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Okay, Bart went to the comic book store.

163
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Time to head home.

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Bullies!

165
00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:49,584
Hey, he went into a construction site.

166
00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:51,534
That's a hard hat zone!

167
00:11:52,972 --> 00:11:54,870
You sure this is safe?

168
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Sure, I got my seat belt on.

169
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Bartholomew J. Simpson!

170
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What are you doing at
this construction site?!

171
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Uh, trying to do something constructive?

172
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I'll just take Milhouse home.

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# You better watch your step. #

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# My, I send you all my regards. #
# You're so tough, you're so hard. #

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# Listen to the hammers #
# falling in the breakers' yard. #

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# You better watch your step. #
# You better watch your step. #

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00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,671
# Ooh, watch your step... #

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Hey, Bart just keeps spinning
around and around and around.

179
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What's his angle?

180
00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:03,070
What are you two doing
in the laundry room?

181
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- Uh... we're doing laundry.
- Dad, do laundry.

182
00:13:08,823 --> 00:13:10,160
No problem.

183
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Tracking software?

184
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You're spying on Bart!

185
00:13:28,377 --> 00:13:32,244
Honey, keeping track of someone
because you love them is not wrong.

186
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It shows you care.

187
00:13:34,885 --> 00:13:40,017
That's right, my
beautiful, beautiful Midge.

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Soon you'll be mine.

189
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Keep talking, creep-o.

190
00:13:43,929 --> 00:13:47,316
Every word buys you
another year in the slammer.

191
00:13:53,218 --> 00:13:55,014
Bart, there's something
I need to tell you.

192
00:13:55,049 --> 00:13:56,343
Mom and Dad...

193
00:13:58,430 --> 00:14:01,278
I'm listening to financing
terms for double-glazed windows.

194
00:14:01,313 --> 00:14:03,556
Awesome. Another call. You got Bart.

195
00:14:03,591 --> 00:14:06,366
It's me, you idiot. Mom
and Dad are spying on you.

196
00:14:06,401 --> 00:14:08,963
There's a tracking
chip in your cell phone.

197
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:12,159
They're spying on me? That's horrible!

198
00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:15,611
I know! It's a complete violation
of your rights. Not to mention...

199
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,555
Hold that thought. I'm getting a text.

200
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:20,307
Viagra at five dollars a pill?

201
00:14:20,516 --> 00:14:23,310
Whatever it is, it's
goin' in Skinner's coffee.

202
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:26,814
What is in this coffee?!

203
00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:41,412
Track this, Mom and Dad.

204
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:48,254
Look at Bart go! He
must be running away!

205
00:14:48,289 --> 00:14:52,199
Eh, he won't get far. Not on the
crappy breakfast I made for him.

206
00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:55,759
Oh, my God, he's out of
frame! Zoom out! Zoom out!

207
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:58,887
What...?

208
00:14:59,158 --> 00:15:02,349
Hmm. He's circling the
Shelbyville Bird Sanctuary.

209
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,237
Our little boy has lost his mind.

210
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,355
Let's get him.

211
00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:16,572
Looks like I've got the
house to myself for a while.

212
00:15:17,075 --> 00:15:18,399
I can do anything I want!

213
00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:22,292
First, I'm gonna take a bath.
Then I'm gonna eat some vegetables

214
00:15:22,327 --> 00:15:28,792
and then I'm gonna get to bed
nice and early, with no TV.

215
00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,816
So your family's been
gone for three days?

216
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:38,312
Yeah. And I think they
may be gone a while longer.

217
00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:40,812
Ooh, it looks like the
grilled Twizzlers are ready.

218
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:45,670
Oh, yeah. This baby is done.

219
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CHOCOLATE SYRUP

220
00:15:51,823 --> 00:15:55,110
Awesome. But I better get
goin'. It's gettin' dark.

221
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,687
My mom's gonna wake up soon.

222
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,869
She gets upset if someone's not
there to tell her where she is.

223
00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:02,409
Typical mom.

224
00:16:02,558 --> 00:16:06,121
You sure you don't wanna stay and have
a sleepover? I made sleepover shirts.

225
00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:07,414
BART SIMPSONS
SLEEPTACULAR

226
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:10,435
Listen Bart, if I don't get
home soon, there won't be time

227
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,646
for my mom to give me a hug,
my dad to read me a story,

228
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:18,509
and both of them to sing me a
song until I gently fall asleep.

229
00:16:18,669 --> 00:16:21,100
Anyway, you have fun by yourself.

230
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:25,182
There's no moon tonight.
Real boogeyman weather.

231
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:37,533
Bart's been moving
nonstop all afternoon.

232
00:16:37,568 --> 00:16:41,454
Maybe there's too much sugar
in his Sugar-Frosted Candy O's.

233
00:16:41,489 --> 00:16:43,592
Something about this
just doesn't seem right.

234
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:45,619
Pull over. Bart's in this field.

235
00:16:48,561 --> 00:16:51,779
Bart! Where are you, boy?!

236
00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:55,892
Don't worry. I won't strangle you.

237
00:17:04,575 --> 00:17:08,308
I think we're following you.
What's your species, little guy?

238
00:17:10,632 --> 00:17:12,407
Oh, you're a scarlet tanager.

239
00:17:12,442 --> 00:17:15,241
You've been flying south
because you're migrating to...

240
00:17:15,276 --> 00:17:17,279
Machu Picchu, Peru!

241
00:17:17,314 --> 00:17:19,902
Well, I could tell Mom and
Dad the chip is in the bird

242
00:17:19,937 --> 00:17:22,805
and hope they take me to
Machu Picchu another time,

243
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:23,840
or...
Shoo. Shoo.

244
00:17:25,096 --> 00:17:27,619
Mom! Dad! Bart's on the move!

245
00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:34,334
Oh, man. When you're
alone, night is scary.

246
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,588
Day is awesome!

247
00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:39,256
Night is scary.

248
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,722
Day is awesome!

249
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,221
Night is scary...

250
00:17:49,656 --> 00:17:52,019
Are we ever going to find him?

251
00:17:52,231 --> 00:17:55,564
Absolutely. That unpleasantness
in Ecuador is behind us.

252
00:17:55,599 --> 00:17:58,512
My coca leaf addiction is under control,

253
00:17:58,547 --> 00:18:03,693
and Bart is finally trapped in
that paradise above the clouds.

254
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,713
Bart! Where are you, Bart?

255
00:18:10,748 --> 00:18:11,872
Is that him?

256
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:15,375
No, it's just a bush.

257
00:18:16,085 --> 00:18:19,671
Clearly the work of
Wirakocha, the trickster god.

258
00:18:20,519 --> 00:18:23,731
You guys look exhausted. Maybe
you ought to rest for a while.

259
00:18:23,766 --> 00:18:26,753
No! All I care about is finding my boy,

260
00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:29,723
and then I'm never letting
him out of my sight again.

261
00:18:39,799 --> 00:18:41,985
Greetings, sky-haired sun mother.

262
00:18:42,999 --> 00:18:46,657
Um... I don't need any new friends.
I'm just looking for my little boy.

263
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,867
I need to protect him from himself.

264
00:18:48,902 --> 00:18:53,282
Like the mothers of ancient Machu
Picchu protected their children?

265
00:19:02,239 --> 00:19:04,236
Our mothers were the most overprotective

266
00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:06,451
in the greater Machu
Picchu metropolitan area.

267
00:19:06,486 --> 00:19:09,971
They forced their children to
live in this walled mountain city.

268
00:19:10,006 --> 00:19:12,252
Those walls do look safe.

269
00:19:12,287 --> 00:19:15,381
Walls that keep out
danger keep out knowledge.

270
00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:17,991
Our young people never learned
to survive on their own,

271
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:21,733
so when they grew up, they were
no match for the conquistadors.

272
00:19:30,305 --> 00:19:33,345
Oh, my God. You've taught
me a valuable lesson.

273
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,983
I didn't mean to. I'm just chatty.

274
00:19:35,018 --> 00:19:38,117
I sold my business a few years
ago and I miss talking to people.

275
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,730
So I can't always be there for Bart.

276
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:46,939
He's got to learn to take care of himself.

277
00:19:46,974 --> 00:19:49,421
The computer says Bart's
standing on the computer,

278
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:52,743
but all I see is a stupid bird
with a tracking chip on its leg.

279
00:19:52,778 --> 00:19:54,016
It doesn't add up.

280
00:19:57,509 --> 00:19:59,855
I think it's time for us to go home.

281
00:20:04,791 --> 00:20:07,536
- Hey.
- Thank God you're okay!

282
00:20:07,571 --> 00:20:09,234
Were you guys gone?

283
00:20:09,269 --> 00:20:12,784
- We were gone for two weeks.
- I didn't even notice.

284
00:20:14,566 --> 00:20:17,248
I just made a 3,700-mile car trip.

285
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:18,792
I need to wash up.

286
00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:23,295
Never leave again.

287
00:20:29,152 --> 00:20:31,845
- Where's Maggie?
- Oh, uh, she's, uh...

288
00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:41,647
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00:20:41,682 --> 00:20:46,526
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