1 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:07,502 ## The Simpsons ## 2 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,168 D'oh! 3 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,884 Okay, Ron, which one of our girls said the following about you-- 4 00:01:01,991 --> 00:01:05,358 "He looked so sexy, I hoped we would have sex"? 5 00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:10,694 Well, that's a tough one, 'cause I did the deed with Uta, Candy and Shasta. 6 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,597 It's true, all right! 7 00:01:12,702 --> 00:01:15,102 But I'm gonna have to go with Shasta... 8 00:01:15,204 --> 00:01:19,140 'cause she liked makin' bacon on the beach. 9 00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:21,506 Ooh. Me too. 10 00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:26,045 Ahhh, bacon. 11 00:01:26,149 --> 00:01:29,880 Mr. Simpson, my husband and I have decided to move. 12 00:01:29,986 --> 00:01:31,920 Gonna run out the clock in Florida, eh? 13 00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:36,321 Yes. Well, there's a few things you could do to help us sell our home. 14 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:39,224 First, whenever you walk in front of your window... 15 00:01:39,328 --> 00:01:42,729 - could you please wear pants? - Mmm, no. 16 00:01:42,832 --> 00:01:45,995 Second, could you please take in your jack-o'-lanterns... 17 00:01:46,102 --> 00:01:49,003 from past Halloweens? 18 00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:54,008 - Mmm, no. - And please cover your garbage. It's attracting wildlife. 19 00:01:54,110 --> 00:01:56,408 Wha-- Hey, moose! Shoo! 20 00:01:56,512 --> 00:02:00,278 Yeah, I'm talkin' to you! Get off my lawn, now! 21 00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:08,055 Hello. What's this? 22 00:02:08,157 --> 00:02:11,991 Wire hangers. Expired medicine. Old newspapers! 23 00:02:14,464 --> 00:02:18,992 Okay, Homer, stay calm. just quietly get this stuff inside your house. 24 00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:23,070 Homer, you're not listening! 25 00:02:25,308 --> 00:02:28,038 - That medicine's not for you. - Come on, Marge. 26 00:02:28,144 --> 00:02:31,011 Maybe I'm not getting enough... estrogen. 27 00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:33,412 - Give me that. - Ahoy, mateys. 28 00:02:33,516 --> 00:02:35,416 Had your fill of tacos? 29 00:02:35,518 --> 00:02:39,477 Would ye sooner eat a bilge rat than another burger? 30 00:02:39,589 --> 00:02:42,717 Then come for all-you-can-eat seafood at The Frying Dutchman. 31 00:02:45,128 --> 00:02:48,427 - Is it more iced tea ye be needing? - Okay. 32 00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:53,495 Set sail for The Frying Dutchman. 33 00:02:53,603 --> 00:02:57,095 Aye, aye, Captain. Marge, we're going to that restaurant. 34 00:02:57,206 --> 00:02:59,174 But I think I'm allergic to seafood. 35 00:02:59,275 --> 00:03:03,905 The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up, and I went into convulsions. 36 00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:05,913 Mmm, shrimp. 37 00:03:07,316 --> 00:03:09,477 Now, I don't know much about haggling or bargaining... 38 00:03:09,585 --> 00:03:12,611 so why don't we just agree to pay whatever the Winfields want? 39 00:03:12,722 --> 00:03:14,781 That could work. 40 00:03:14,891 --> 00:03:17,724 - What was that? - Sigh. 41 00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:20,921 Hmm? There you are! 42 00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:23,362 Thought you could get away, huh? 43 00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:27,061 Good-bye. 44 00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:36,502 I don't think we should be down here. 45 00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,671 Nervous, Lise? I don't blame you. 46 00:03:38,781 --> 00:03:41,477 This is where the Winfields hid their mutated son. 47 00:03:41,584 --> 00:03:43,848 Bart, the Winfields didn't have a son. 48 00:03:43,953 --> 00:03:47,616 See that sock over there? It was his only friend. 49 00:03:47,723 --> 00:03:51,591 Hello, Lisa. Here in the dark, you won't need those eyes. 50 00:03:51,694 --> 00:03:54,492 - Let me have them. - Bart, that's not funny! 51 00:03:54,597 --> 00:03:56,963 There are some who say the monster... 52 00:03:57,066 --> 00:04:00,160 is still... here! 53 00:04:03,639 --> 00:04:07,302 Friend. Friend! 54 00:04:10,413 --> 00:04:12,313 Hey, kid, wake up. 55 00:04:12,415 --> 00:04:15,077 - Who are you? - I'm Laura, your new neighbor. 56 00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:17,084 You all right? 57 00:04:17,186 --> 00:04:19,677 She's beautiful. Say something clever. 58 00:04:19,789 --> 00:04:21,882 I fell on my bottom. 59 00:04:21,991 --> 00:04:23,959 D'oh! 60 00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:29,870 Oh, not again! 61 00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:32,805 My mother's inside, Mrs. Simpson. Please go right on in. 62 00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:35,775 Oh, you speak so politely to adults. 63 00:04:35,878 --> 00:04:37,869 My upbringing was painfully strict, ma'am. 64 00:04:37,980 --> 00:04:40,210 That's sweet. 65 00:04:40,316 --> 00:04:43,752 And, finally, Moe's Tavern has contributed a coupon... 66 00:04:43,853 --> 00:04:46,549 as their way of saying "Welcome to Springfield. '" 67 00:04:46,655 --> 00:04:49,055 Thank you. This is all so nice. 68 00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,718 I actually had some doubts about moving to Springfield... 69 00:04:51,827 --> 00:04:56,059 especially after that Time cover story, "America's Worst City." 70 00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,599 - You could see our house in that photo. - Oh. 71 00:04:58,701 --> 00:05:03,434 And this is, uh, for the man of the house... 72 00:05:03,539 --> 00:05:06,235 which I guess... 73 00:05:06,342 --> 00:05:08,503 is you. 74 00:05:08,611 --> 00:05:12,479 I guess I should explain. Laura's father and I divorced two years ago. 75 00:05:12,581 --> 00:05:14,674 They're so sweet when you marry them. 76 00:05:14,784 --> 00:05:18,447 - But soon, it's just career, career, career. - My hammock! 77 00:05:18,554 --> 00:05:22,183 Do you understand? Mine! Don't look that way! 78 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,391 I bet you don't know this one. How'd you like a Hertz donut? 79 00:05:27,496 --> 00:05:30,021 Hurts, don't it? 80 00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:32,396 Right. Do you know what a wet willie is? 81 00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:35,061 - Is it this? - Hey, baby! 82 00:05:35,171 --> 00:05:37,469 How about puttin' your finger in my ear? 83 00:05:37,573 --> 00:05:40,337 Well, I don't know. Your boyfriend looks like the jealous type. 84 00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:43,708 - Hey, what the-- - That chick's messin' with our minds. 85 00:05:43,813 --> 00:05:47,305 - Let's get out of here. - Now, where were we? 86 00:05:47,416 --> 00:05:50,317 - Oh, yeah. I was gonna tell your fortune. - Huh? 87 00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:53,718 - Oh, man. You're gonna be rich! - Whoa! 88 00:05:53,823 --> 00:05:56,656 There's your mansion. There's the tennis court. 89 00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:59,057 And there's the swimming pool. 90 00:05:59,161 --> 00:06:01,652 See you later, Bart. 91 00:06:01,764 --> 00:06:05,598 I'll never wash this hand again. 92 00:06:06,702 --> 00:06:09,034 Dad, make Bart wash his hand. 93 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:11,834 Sorry, Lise. I no longer control the hand. 94 00:06:11,941 --> 00:06:15,502 - The hand controls me! - Dad! 95 00:06:15,611 --> 00:06:17,511 Shut up, you little monsters! 96 00:06:17,613 --> 00:06:21,014 Hello, I was wondering if you'd like to babysit my little angels. 97 00:06:21,117 --> 00:06:23,984 Sorry, this isn't Abbie. This is her sister. 98 00:06:24,086 --> 00:06:25,986 I look after her now. 99 00:06:26,088 --> 00:06:30,718 No, Bart, put it down. Put it down, Bart. 100 00:06:30,826 --> 00:06:32,851 Bart, put it down. 101 00:06:32,962 --> 00:06:35,863 Oh! No all-you-can-eat seafood. 102 00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:38,763 I wore my extra-loose pants for nothing. 103 00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:42,167 - Nothing! - Maybe Laura could watch us. 104 00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:46,367 Oh, I get it. "Bart, the babysitter's here." 105 00:06:46,475 --> 00:06:48,943 "Let me tuck you in." 106 00:06:49,044 --> 00:06:51,604 Silence! 107 00:06:51,714 --> 00:06:55,445 Huh? 108 00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:57,985 Maybe it's time I wash my hand. 109 00:06:58,087 --> 00:07:01,079 I'll send Laura over to babysit as soon as she gets home. 110 00:07:01,190 --> 00:07:04,557 Great. Oh, uh, and there was something else. 111 00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:09,063 - Something I was supposed to tiptoe around-- - My divorce. 112 00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:10,894 That's it! Whoo-hoo! 113 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,798 I'm glad one of us remembered. That could have been embarrassing. 114 00:07:13,903 --> 00:07:16,463 Well, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. 115 00:07:16,572 --> 00:07:19,973 I want to be fixed up with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it. 116 00:07:20,075 --> 00:07:24,478 After all, Homer, I do have the normal appetites. 117 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,980 I know what you mean. 118 00:07:27,082 --> 00:07:29,050 just let me make sure we're not talking about food. 119 00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:32,245 - I'm not. - Right. Me neither. 120 00:07:32,354 --> 00:07:34,254 - We're talking about sex, right? - Right. 121 00:07:34,356 --> 00:07:37,553 I hear you loud and clear. 122 00:07:37,660 --> 00:07:41,289 - Bart, are you taking a bath? - Yes, I am. 123 00:07:41,397 --> 00:07:44,230 And it would be nice to have a little privacy around here for a change. 124 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,632 This wouldn't have anything to do with Laura coming over, would it? 125 00:07:47,736 --> 00:07:51,069 Hey, sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowest. 126 00:07:51,173 --> 00:07:54,404 Why, Laura. What a pleasant surprise. 127 00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:58,277 Cute. What do you guys want for dinner? 128 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,905 I don't care. Ask Hef over there. 129 00:08:01,016 --> 00:08:03,883 Lady's choice. 130 00:08:08,624 --> 00:08:11,092 Sometimes I think you want to fail! 131 00:08:11,193 --> 00:08:13,093 Shut up. just shut up! 132 00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:19,592 We used to eat this when my dad was stationed in "Vandihar." 133 00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:23,604 Take your kaftab'Sounieh and dip it in the labneh. 134 00:08:23,706 --> 00:08:25,606 Now, that is good labneh. 135 00:08:32,014 --> 00:08:35,177 I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything on the menu has fish in it. 136 00:08:35,284 --> 00:08:37,411 What about the bread? Does that have much fish in it? 137 00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:40,920 - Yes. - Well, I have some Tic Tacs in my purse-- 138 00:08:41,023 --> 00:08:43,423 Excellent choice. And for the gentleman? 139 00:08:43,525 --> 00:08:46,085 - All you can eat! All you can eat! - All right. 140 00:08:46,195 --> 00:08:49,096 When you're ready, take this plate over-- 141 00:08:49,198 --> 00:08:51,029 Please, don't take the steam tray! Sir! 142 00:08:51,133 --> 00:08:54,296 Come on, Bart. If I can teach Maggie to waltz, I can teach you. 143 00:08:57,339 --> 00:09:00,001 just follow me. Put your hand on my hip. 144 00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:02,202 Okay. 145 00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:17,559 - Wedgie! - Whoa! 146 00:09:28,704 --> 00:09:31,730 That man ate all our shrimp and two plastic lobsters! 147 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:36,470 'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine. Arr! 148 00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:40,309 - Six bells. Time for closin'. - Can't talk. Eating. 149 00:09:40,416 --> 00:09:43,317 Fairly warned be thee, says I. 150 00:09:43,419 --> 00:09:45,444 Huh? Hey! 151 00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:47,545 Hey! 152 00:09:47,656 --> 00:09:49,988 Hey! 153 00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:54,994 But the sign said, "All you can eat." 154 00:09:57,199 --> 00:09:59,099 I'm gonna fight this thing. 155 00:09:59,201 --> 00:10:01,761 Oh, please don't. For me? 156 00:10:01,870 --> 00:10:04,270 Sorry, Marge. This is my quest. 157 00:10:04,373 --> 00:10:07,570 I'm like that guy, that Spanish guy. 158 00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:09,974 - You know, he fought the windmills. - Don Quixote? 159 00:10:10,079 --> 00:10:12,513 No, that's not it. What's his name? "The Man of La Mancha." 160 00:10:12,614 --> 00:10:14,172 - Don Quixote. - No! 161 00:10:14,283 --> 00:10:17,081 I really think that was the character's name-- Don Quixote. 162 00:10:17,186 --> 00:10:19,051 Fine. I'll look it up. 163 00:10:20,789 --> 00:10:22,120 Well, who was it? 164 00:10:22,224 --> 00:10:24,021 - Never mind. - Mm-hmm. 165 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,730 Oh, no! Here comes the conservative judge! 166 00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:37,738 Plead insanity! Plead insanity! 167 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:42,140 - It's not working! - All right. Hit the "change of venue" button. Now! 168 00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:45,145 Oh, no. You're in Texas! 169 00:10:45,247 --> 00:10:49,115 Yee-haw! 170 00:10:49,218 --> 00:10:52,381 If I'd hit the "remorse" button one more time, I would have made it. 171 00:10:52,488 --> 00:10:54,922 Ah, Bart, I gotta go. See you around. 172 00:10:55,023 --> 00:10:58,754 - I am thinking you like this girl, yes? - How did you know? 173 00:10:58,861 --> 00:11:01,386 My ceiling mirrors and video cameras... 174 00:11:01,497 --> 00:11:04,295 sometimes see more than who is about to shoot me. 175 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,732 "All you can eat. '" Ha! 176 00:11:06,835 --> 00:11:10,601 Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising... 177 00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:13,971 since my suit against the film The Neverending Story. 178 00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,306 So, do you think I have a case? 179 00:11:16,412 --> 00:11:18,505 Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. 180 00:11:18,614 --> 00:11:23,051 But you are the greatest hero in American history. 181 00:11:23,152 --> 00:11:25,848 Whoo-hoo! 182 00:11:25,954 --> 00:11:28,218 - I'm here to see my Grampa. - Here I am, sonny. 183 00:11:28,323 --> 00:11:31,656 - You're not my grandpa. - Ah, come on. Give me a chance. 184 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,661 Hey, can your grandfather do this? 185 00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,133 - Oh! - Bart! 186 00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:43,033 Aw, you remembered my birthday. 187 00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:45,538 Huh? 188 00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,370 Oh. I sure did. 189 00:11:47,476 --> 00:11:49,637 - Here's a bus schedule. - Wow! 190 00:11:49,745 --> 00:11:51,474 Fits right in my pocket. 191 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,276 Grampa, I need some advice. 192 00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:56,374 Did you ever have a crush on an older woman? 193 00:11:56,485 --> 00:11:59,386 I had a crush on the oldest woman. 194 00:11:59,488 --> 00:12:02,048 1 20 years old, she was. 195 00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:06,321 - Here's a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake. - What happened? 196 00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:09,886 She fell in with that Guinness Book of Records crowd. 197 00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:14,492 Suddenly, she didn't have any time for me. Oh! 198 00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:19,336 I wore a 1 5-pound beard of bees for that woman, but it just wasn't enough. 199 00:12:19,441 --> 00:12:22,239 Dad, I have some questions about women. 200 00:12:22,344 --> 00:12:27,213 Uh, can't you see I'm readin' the, uh, cultural calendar? 201 00:12:27,316 --> 00:12:29,216 Ooh! "Mostly Mozart" is in town. 202 00:12:29,318 --> 00:12:32,219 Homer, Bart's at a very curious age. 203 00:12:32,321 --> 00:12:36,655 As his father, I think you should have a frank and earthy discussion about... 204 00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,658 you know. 205 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,627 But, Marge, I think he should learn about it the same way I did. 206 00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:43,561 Are you sure? 207 00:12:43,665 --> 00:12:45,565 Hmm. 208 00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:48,431 Zookeeper! Zookeeper! 209 00:12:48,537 --> 00:12:50,528 Those two monkeys are killing each other! 210 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,233 - They're having sex. - Oh? 211 00:12:53,342 --> 00:12:57,176 Maybe you're right. Now, if you'll excuse us... 212 00:12:57,279 --> 00:13:00,339 this is a sacred moment between a boy and his father. 213 00:13:00,449 --> 00:13:05,216 Son, a woman is a lot like, um... 214 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,878 a refrigerator. 215 00:13:06,989 --> 00:13:09,856 They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. 216 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:12,483 They make ice and-- 217 00:13:12,594 --> 00:13:16,655 Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. 218 00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:19,165 They smell good. They look good. 219 00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:22,101 You'd step over your own mother just to get one! 220 00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:27,200 But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman. 221 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:33,774 So I says, "Yeah, if you want that money, come and find it... 222 00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:36,544 "'cause I don't know where it is, you bologna. 223 00:13:36,652 --> 00:13:40,816 You make me wanna retch." 224 00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:50,196 How can I get her to notice me? 225 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:55,163 Meet me at the tree house, Bart. And come alone. 226 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,778 - Thanks for coming. - I please to aim. 227 00:14:07,883 --> 00:14:11,114 I'm so happy. I just had to tell someone. 228 00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,982 I have a boyfriend. 229 00:14:16,391 --> 00:14:18,586 You won't be needing this. 230 00:14:31,106 --> 00:14:33,006 A boyfriend? 231 00:14:33,108 --> 00:14:36,441 I really think you'd like him, Bart. His name's Jimbo. 232 00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:38,979 Jimbo Jones? 233 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,413 Uh, you've been flushing for 20 minutes. 234 00:14:47,522 --> 00:14:51,049 - Is there a problem? - Uh, no, Principal Skinner. 235 00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:54,253 Very well. I'll continue to wait. 236 00:15:02,337 --> 00:15:04,271 How can you like that guy? 237 00:15:04,373 --> 00:15:06,898 I don't know. Maybe 'cause he's an outlaw. 238 00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:10,911 - You know that dead body they found behind the mayor's house? -Jimbo killed him? 239 00:15:11,013 --> 00:15:15,848 No, but he poked him with a stick. 240 00:15:15,951 --> 00:15:18,681 Hey, Laura, Dr. Tongue has arrived. 241 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,584 That's him, Bart! 242 00:15:20,689 --> 00:15:24,420 - Who's the dork? - Leave him alone. He's just a kid. 243 00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:26,153 Just a kid. Just a kid. 244 00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,991 I'll show them who's just a kid. 245 00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:30,997 Bart, it's your bedtime. 246 00:15:31,099 --> 00:15:33,260 I laid out your jammy-jams. 247 00:15:38,306 --> 00:15:40,206 Dad, if there's a really special girl... 248 00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:42,776 and she likes some clod who's beneath her, what should you do? 249 00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:46,109 I married her! 250 00:15:46,214 --> 00:15:49,342 Homer, please. I just had eggs. 251 00:15:49,451 --> 00:15:52,352 Good luck in your trumped-up lawsuit, Dad. 252 00:15:52,454 --> 00:15:55,582 Thanks. That means a lot to me. 253 00:15:55,691 --> 00:15:58,353 All right, you guys. I want you in bed before Jimbo gets here. 254 00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:02,692 What do you like about him? He's just a good-lookin' rebel who plays by his own rules. 255 00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,264 'Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch... 256 00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:12,306 when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man. 257 00:16:12,407 --> 00:16:16,309 - Hey! - So I says to me bosuns, "Batten down the mizzenmast." 258 00:16:16,411 --> 00:16:19,380 Captain McCallister, isn't it a fact... 259 00:16:19,481 --> 00:16:21,642 that you're not a real captain? 260 00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,877 Aye. 261 00:16:23,985 --> 00:16:26,146 Your Honor, I would like to show the court... 262 00:16:26,254 --> 00:16:28,814 just how much shrimp Mr. Simpson ate. 263 00:16:28,924 --> 00:16:30,551 Bring it in, boys! 264 00:16:38,433 --> 00:16:42,529 1 8,000 letters all addressed to "Santa Claus." 265 00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:44,696 You want "The People of Springfield versus Kris Kringle." 266 00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:46,774 - That's next door. - Oh. 267 00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:50,110 Mrs. Simpson, isn't it true... 268 00:16:50,212 --> 00:16:54,444 your husband once consumed a 1 0-pound bag of flour... 269 00:16:54,549 --> 00:16:56,449 when no other food was available? 270 00:16:56,551 --> 00:16:59,247 - Yes, but it was-- - Your witness. 271 00:16:59,354 --> 00:17:02,721 - Uh, there's a pizza here for-- - Right here. 272 00:17:02,824 --> 00:17:06,487 Mrs. Simpson, what did you and your husband do... 273 00:17:06,595 --> 00:17:09,029 after you were ejected from the restaurant? 274 00:17:09,131 --> 00:17:11,622 We pretty much went straight home. 275 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:14,361 Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath. 276 00:17:14,469 --> 00:17:17,029 We drove around until 3:00 a.m.... 277 00:17:17,139 --> 00:17:20,302 looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant. 278 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:23,809 And when you couldn't find one? 279 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:27,678 We went fishing. 280 00:17:27,783 --> 00:17:30,843 Do these sound like the actions of a man... 281 00:17:30,952 --> 00:17:33,443 who had "all he could eat"? 282 00:17:33,555 --> 00:17:35,955 - No! - That could've been me! 283 00:17:36,057 --> 00:17:40,517 Homer, I've a proposition forye, fair and true. 284 00:17:40,629 --> 00:17:43,792 Come on, Marge. Let the people see your pretty face. 285 00:17:43,899 --> 00:17:48,768 Come see "Bottomless Pete," nature's cruelest mistake. 286 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:51,703 Come for the freak, stay for the food. 287 00:17:51,807 --> 00:17:55,538 - Oh, he's hideous! - I heard they shaved a gorilla. 288 00:17:55,644 --> 00:18:00,013 Hey, baby, my shirt's chafin' me. 289 00:18:00,115 --> 00:18:04,245 - Mind if I take it off? - Well, okay. 290 00:18:08,690 --> 00:18:12,683 I gotta do something! Hmm. 291 00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:15,319 But it says, "Good for one free beer at Moe's." 292 00:18:15,430 --> 00:18:17,364 This is Moe's Tavern, isn't it? 293 00:18:17,465 --> 00:18:20,025 No, this is... Bo's Cavern. 294 00:18:20,135 --> 00:18:22,069 Give me my beer. 295 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:25,401 Stupid Welcome Mobile. I knew it would ruin me! 296 00:18:25,507 --> 00:18:28,374 Yeah, just a sec. I'll check. 297 00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:30,740 Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss! 298 00:18:30,846 --> 00:18:33,713 Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! 299 00:18:33,815 --> 00:18:36,807 Why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss? 300 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,888 Maybe your standards are too high. 301 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,150 You little S.O.B! 302 00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:46,591 If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat... 303 00:18:46,695 --> 00:18:48,595 and stick starving dogs in your butt! 304 00:18:48,697 --> 00:18:52,690 My name is Jimbo Jones, and I live at 1 094 Evergreen Terrace. 305 00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:56,259 Aha! Big mistake, pal! 306 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:59,238 Ho-ho! I knew he'd slip up sooner or later. 307 00:18:59,341 --> 00:19:02,538 Ah, yes. Rusty and dull. 308 00:19:02,644 --> 00:19:06,171 Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone. 309 00:19:06,281 --> 00:19:09,876 What kind of pathetic drunk Do you take me for? 310 00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:13,113 Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray. 311 00:19:13,221 --> 00:19:15,121 Ahh. 312 00:19:19,961 --> 00:19:23,192 Let's see. Where is that map? Evergreen Terrace. 313 00:19:23,298 --> 00:19:26,495 There it is-- F-5. 314 00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:34,166 I don't believe it. Now my pants are chafin' me. 315 00:19:35,377 --> 00:19:38,574 All right, who's Jimbo Jones? 316 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,707 - I am. - You just made your second mistake, buddy boy! 317 00:19:42,817 --> 00:19:45,650 Please, dude, don't hurt me. Oh, man. 318 00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:52,384 - That's your outlaw? - I wasn't really gonna kill ya. I was just gonna cut ya. 319 00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:58,659 Ah, forget it. Ouch! I better go check on Barney. 320 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,834 Uh-oh. My heart just stopped. 321 00:20:07,175 --> 00:20:09,075 Ah, there it goes. 322 00:20:13,715 --> 00:20:16,616 Ow! Stupid wishing well! 323 00:20:16,718 --> 00:20:20,051 Jimbo, I don't think we should see each other anymore. 324 00:20:20,155 --> 00:20:22,055 You're just not the guy I thought you were. 325 00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:26,059 Can I have my shirt back? 326 00:20:29,197 --> 00:20:31,290 Well, Bart, you were right about him. 327 00:20:31,399 --> 00:20:34,630 As usual, a knife-wielding maniac has shown us the way. 328 00:20:34,736 --> 00:20:38,968 You know, if you were only old enough to grow a bad teenage mustache... 329 00:20:39,074 --> 00:20:43,306 - I'd go out with you in a second. - Wow. 330 00:20:43,411 --> 00:20:47,313 Hello, I'd like to speak to Miss Tinkle, first name... 331 00:20:47,415 --> 00:20:49,645 Ivana. 332 00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:51,912 Ivana Tinkle. just a sec. 333 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:55,421 Ivana Tinkle. Ivana Tinkle! 334 00:20:55,523 --> 00:20:57,491 All right, everybody, put down your glasses. 335 00:20:57,592 --> 00:21:00,322 Ivana Tinkle. 336 00:21:00,428 --> 00:21:03,920 Har, har, har. 337 00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,742 Shh!