1 00:00:03,229 --> 00:00:06,198 ## The Simpsons ## 2 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:06,181 D'oh! 3 00:01:41,694 --> 00:01:44,663 Doin' a monster song with ya... 4 00:01:44,764 --> 00:01:46,925 on this beautiful Valentine's Day. 5 00:01:47,032 --> 00:01:49,159 Marty, why did you play that song today? 6 00:01:49,268 --> 00:01:51,429 There must be thousands of love songs. 7 00:01:51,537 --> 00:01:56,304 Well, it's kind of a love song--all the monsters enjoying each other's company-- 8 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,672 dancing, holding their evil in check. 9 00:01:58,778 --> 00:02:03,112 - You played the wrong record, didn't you? - Why are you doing this to me? 10 00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:11,187 Bah! This is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards. 11 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:15,420 Ohh. A valentine from my granddaughter. 12 00:02:15,528 --> 00:02:17,496 Could I have the envelope? 13 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:21,896 "To Moe-- from your secret admirer." 14 00:02:22,001 --> 00:02:24,196 - Yoo-hoo! - Oh, God, no. 15 00:02:26,539 --> 00:02:31,841 And this is for my Huggy Bug, in honor of this special day. 16 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,606 Special day? Oh, what have I forgotten now? 17 00:02:34,713 --> 00:02:38,342 Now, don't panic. Is it bacon day? No. That's crazy talk. 18 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,283 She's getting impatient. Take a stab at it. 19 00:02:41,387 --> 00:02:44,356 Happy... Valentine's Day. 20 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:47,619 - Oh, thank you, dear. - Whoo-hoo! 21 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:49,956 I'll bet you have a lot Of things planned, eh, Dad? 22 00:02:50,062 --> 00:02:55,932 Uh, kind of. Nobody makes a big deal out of Valentine's Day. 23 00:03:06,912 --> 00:03:09,540 Hey, Dad, why don't you give Mom her present? 24 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:12,276 What a nice idea, son. 25 00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:17,447 It's, uh, upstairs, on the second floor of our house. 26 00:03:17,556 --> 00:03:21,617 I'll just go get it. 27 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:33,669 Apu, you gotta help me. I need a Valentine's gift for my wife. 28 00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:36,969 - Perhaps this might be appropriate? - Yes! 29 00:03:37,076 --> 00:03:39,840 - You saved my life. How much? - One hundred dollars. 30 00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:42,470 What? That's highway robbery. I won't pay it. 31 00:03:42,581 --> 00:03:45,812 - Oh, I think you will. - Forget it, pal. 32 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,321 All right! But I'll never shop here again. 33 00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:58,692 If he discovers the discount supermarket next door, all is lost. 34 00:03:58,797 --> 00:04:01,698 - Nickel off on expired baby food. - Sold! 35 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,633 Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines? 36 00:04:04,737 --> 00:04:06,671 Not just yet, Janey. First... 37 00:04:06,772 --> 00:04:10,299 we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines. 38 00:04:10,409 --> 00:04:14,345 - Isn't that just pointless busywork? - Bull's-eye. Get cracking. 39 00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:18,473 - Yes, Ralph? - My parents won't let me use scissors. 40 00:04:18,584 --> 00:04:22,577 The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. 41 00:04:22,688 --> 00:04:26,351 These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons. 42 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,688 - Miss Hoover? - Yes, Ralph? 43 00:04:28,794 --> 00:04:31,695 - I don't have a red crayon. - Why not? 44 00:04:31,797 --> 00:04:35,028 I ate it. 45 00:04:35,134 --> 00:04:38,035 Attention, everyone. This is Principal Skinner. 46 00:04:38,137 --> 00:04:42,164 Some student, possibly Bart Simpson, has been circulating candy hearts... 47 00:04:42,274 --> 00:04:44,367 featuring crude, off-color sentiments. 48 00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:48,378 Well, let me tell you something. Valentine's Day is no joke. 49 00:04:56,956 --> 00:04:59,925 - Sending your chick a valentine, huh? - Yep. 50 00:05:03,629 --> 00:05:05,529 Johnny? 51 00:05:05,631 --> 00:05:09,192 Johnny? Johnny! 52 00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:12,168 Cool! I broke his brain. 53 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:17,402 - All right, children. You may now exchange valentines. - Miss Hoover? 54 00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:21,070 I glued my head to my shoulder. 55 00:05:34,493 --> 00:05:37,860 Poor Ralph. 56 00:05:38,931 --> 00:05:41,661 Here you go, Ralph. 57 00:05:43,102 --> 00:05:46,538 You choo-choo-choose me? 58 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,072 Happy Valentine's. 59 00:05:53,512 --> 00:05:56,174 All right! Special holiday meal. 60 00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:02,216 - Where do you want these beef hearts? - On the floor. 61 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:05,347 - It doesn't look very clean. -Just do your job, heart boy. 62 00:06:19,138 --> 00:06:23,199 - Bart, what's wrong? - My baboon heart. Body... 63 00:06:23,308 --> 00:06:25,799 rejecting it. 64 00:06:25,911 --> 00:06:28,812 Mm-hmm. 65 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:38,282 Can I walk you home, valentine? 66 00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:43,157 - Sure, I guess. - That valentine sure was funny. 67 00:06:43,262 --> 00:06:45,594 Glad you liked it. 68 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:49,155 It says, "Choo-choo-choose me..." 69 00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:51,668 and there's a picture of a train. 70 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:54,466 Yeah. Nice gag. 71 00:06:54,573 --> 00:06:58,168 Uh, so... 72 00:06:58,277 --> 00:07:01,474 do you like... stuff? 73 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,843 The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds... 74 00:07:06,952 --> 00:07:09,887 if I kept my finger out of there. 75 00:07:09,988 --> 00:07:14,152 Well, here's my house. 76 00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:30,474 Ahh. 77 00:07:33,812 --> 00:07:36,303 Ah. Hmm. 78 00:07:38,484 --> 00:07:40,645 Huh? 79 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:51,495 Hey, kids, don't forget to watch my 29th anniversary show... 80 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:56,330 featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel whacked out on wowee sauce. 81 00:07:56,435 --> 00:08:00,496 Everyone's always kissing your ass. 82 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:04,702 Well, I'm not afraid to tell you you're a-- 83 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:10,009 - Oh, I'd give anything to go to that show. - I'd sell my firstborn son. 84 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,310 - Hey! - You'll do as you're told. 85 00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:17,184 Ralph thinks I like him, but I only gave him a valentine 'cause I felt sorry for him. 86 00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:21,225 Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it? 87 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:24,056 What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested? 88 00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,825 - Well, honey-- - Let me handle this, Marge. 89 00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:31,460 I've heard 'em all. "I like you as a friend." "I think we should see other people." 90 00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:33,834 - "I no speak English." - I get the idea. 91 00:08:33,939 --> 00:08:36,669 "I'm married to the sea." "I don't wanna kill you, but I will." 92 00:08:36,775 --> 00:08:40,973 Honey! Honey, I'd tell this boy that you're very flattered... 93 00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:43,547 but you're just not ready for this kind of thing. 94 00:08:43,649 --> 00:08:47,483 - Thanks, Mom. - And if that doesn't work, six simple words: 95 00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,486 "I'm not gay, but I'll learn." 96 00:08:49,588 --> 00:08:54,218 Ralph, I think you're nice, but I'm just not ready for this kind of thing. 97 00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,317 - Do you understand? - I guess so. 98 00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:59,261 Good. 99 00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:04,365 Dad, how do you get a girl to like you? 100 00:09:04,469 --> 00:09:09,964 Son, whether you want to win a girl or crack a nut, the key is persistence. 101 00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:13,135 Keep at it and never lose your cool. 102 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,650 Aw, come on, ya stupid-- 103 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,446 Let that be a lesson to the rest of you... nuts. 104 00:09:21,553 --> 00:09:25,284 Okay, Dad. I'll be persistent. Is that how you got Mom? 105 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:30,851 Well, son, never underestimate the appeal of a man in uniform. 106 00:09:30,963 --> 00:09:33,557 Ohh, yeah. 107 00:09:33,665 --> 00:09:38,370 Ahh. Mmm. Oh, yeah. 108 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:38,699 Ahh. Mmm. Oh, yeah. 109 00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:45,504 Hey, boys and girls. Only four days till my anniversary show. 110 00:09:45,611 --> 00:09:49,445 Twenty-nine years. And when I came on, they said I wouldn't last a week. 111 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:53,109 And you know where those reviewers are? All dead. 112 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:56,381 How you doin' down there, fellas? Huh? Huh? 113 00:09:56,488 --> 00:09:59,048 - Anyway, here's a clip. - Now... 114 00:09:59,157 --> 00:10:02,888 why do they call this a urine monkey? 115 00:10:02,995 --> 00:10:05,793 Uh-- Ohh. I just found out. 116 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:10,095 That's funny for so many reasons. We have to go to that show. 117 00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:13,330 Forget it. To get those tickets, our parents would have to be part... 118 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,872 of Springfield's cultural elite. 119 00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:19,375 Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush? 120 00:10:22,114 --> 00:10:24,378 Eww. 121 00:10:24,483 --> 00:10:27,884 Oh, no! It's Ralph! 122 00:10:27,986 --> 00:10:30,386 just make up some excuse. 123 00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:33,617 - She's in the can. Go away. - Yes, sir. 124 00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:37,786 - I'd do anything for Lisa. - Really? 125 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:44,133 Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy! 126 00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:46,796 Yeah, they'll do that. 127 00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:51,032 "Dearest Martha, Since boyhood... 128 00:10:51,143 --> 00:10:54,112 "I have yearned to be on the one-dollar bill, and with your help... 129 00:10:54,212 --> 00:10:56,373 "this I shall achieve. 130 00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:59,314 Sincerely, George Washington." 131 00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,318 Thank you, Rex. 132 00:11:03,689 --> 00:11:06,487 I've selected the cast for our Presidents' Day Pageant. 133 00:11:06,591 --> 00:11:10,960 - Martha Washington will be played by Lisa Simpson. 134 00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:15,762 George Washington will be played by... Ralph Wiggum. 135 00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:19,132 - Hmm. - What? This is a travesty! 136 00:11:19,237 --> 00:11:22,536 Everyone knows I'm the best actor in this ridiculous school! 137 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,871 - Sit down, Rex. - I will not sit down. 138 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:28,776 - Someone's gotten to you, you deceitful cow! - That's absurd, Rex. 139 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,316 Ralph won the part fair and square. 140 00:11:32,417 --> 00:11:35,284 That's the signal. Take the boot off the car, boys. 141 00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:39,583 Now Ralph is in the play with me. 142 00:11:39,691 --> 00:11:43,388 I just know he's gonna embarrass me in front of the whole school. 143 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,656 Huh? 144 00:11:48,066 --> 00:11:50,830 Ohh, no. It's a package from Ralph. 145 00:11:52,704 --> 00:11:56,140 Ohh. A Malibu Stacy convertible! 146 00:11:56,241 --> 00:11:58,368 "Look in the tunk." 147 00:11:58,477 --> 00:12:01,913 He must mean "trunk." 148 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:05,710 Tickets to the Krusty anniversary show! 149 00:12:05,817 --> 00:12:08,217 Oh, he must want me to go with him. 150 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:12,017 Oh, it isn't fair. I'm 1 0 times the Krusty fan you are. 151 00:12:12,124 --> 00:12:15,423 I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy Test. 152 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,223 I'm not sure I should go. I don't even like him. 153 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:21,026 You're right, Lise. You shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. 154 00:12:21,133 --> 00:12:23,101 I'll go, disguised as you. 155 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,637 -What if he wants to hold hands? -I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. 156 00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:29,730 - What if he wants a kiss? - I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. 157 00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:32,105 - What if he-- - You don't wanna know how far I'll go. 158 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:36,840 Dad, is it right to take things from people you don't like? 159 00:12:36,948 --> 00:12:40,884 Sure, it is, honey. You do mean stealing, don't you? 160 00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:45,116 Well, actually, it's not as bad as stealing, But my conscience is bothering me. 161 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:50,820 Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do. 162 00:12:50,929 --> 00:12:53,329 Homer, that's a terrible thing to say. 163 00:12:53,432 --> 00:12:56,128 - Oh, shut up. - Yes, sir. 164 00:12:57,803 --> 00:13:01,705 I am so glad you cho-cho-chose to come. 165 00:13:01,807 --> 00:13:04,469 I think you should give that a rest, Ralph. 166 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:08,740 - Chief Wiggum, how'd you ever get these tickets? - Krusty knows how to play ball. 167 00:13:13,118 --> 00:13:15,951 Ahh. Nothin' beats a good porno movie. 168 00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:19,922 - Chief Wiggum, is this a bust? - Uh, yeah... 169 00:13:20,025 --> 00:13:22,255 that's just what it is-- a bust. 170 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,329 - That story isn't suitable for children. - Really? 171 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,399 - I keep my pants on in this version. - Eww. 172 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,468 It's the Krusty the Clown... 173 00:13:30,569 --> 00:13:32,696 29th Anniversary Show! 174 00:13:32,804 --> 00:13:34,897 Hey! 175 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,270 Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Mr. President! 176 00:13:39,377 --> 00:13:43,040 I campaigned for the other guy, but I voted for you! 177 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:50,745 You know, I started this show so long ago, the ayatollah only had a goatee. 178 00:13:50,856 --> 00:13:53,256 Ha-ha! 179 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,796 What's the matter? Don't you people read the papers? 180 00:13:58,897 --> 00:14:01,866 Uh, let's look at some clips. 181 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,834 "He will not see me stopping here... 182 00:14:04,936 --> 00:14:07,370 to watch his woods fill up with snow." 183 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:10,873 Hey, Frosty, you want some snow, man? 184 00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:15,310 We discussed this, and I said no. 185 00:14:17,749 --> 00:14:19,979 Now, here's a clip from 1 973. 186 00:14:26,391 --> 00:14:30,794 Yeah! 187 00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:35,492 - What was I on? - Lisa, do you want a bite of my ice cream? 188 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,932 - No, thanks. - Send it this way, boy. 189 00:14:38,036 --> 00:14:40,334 - Whoops. - Ohh. 190 00:14:40,438 --> 00:14:43,965 Aww. Nothing gets chocolate out. See? 191 00:14:44,075 --> 00:14:47,408 I've worked with some marvelous second bananas over the years... 192 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,811 but none more memorable than Sideshow Raheem. 193 00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:55,410 Uh, the script says I'm supposed to bonk you with this. 194 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,182 - I wouldn't. - Right on. 195 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,219 Angry. Angry young man. 196 00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:09,232 Now, for my favorite part of the show. 197 00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,531 Whuzzat say? "Talk to the audience"? 198 00:15:12,637 --> 00:15:15,037 Oh, God. This is always death. 199 00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:18,667 - All right. - Oh, no. Please don't show me with Ralph. 200 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,104 - What's your name, son? - Ralph. 201 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:25,239 And is this your girlfriend, Ralph? 202 00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:30,219 Yes. I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up, I'm going to marry her! 203 00:15:30,322 --> 00:15:32,586 No-o-o-o! 204 00:15:32,691 --> 00:15:36,286 Now, you listen to me! I don't like you! I never liked you! 205 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:40,558 And the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine is 'cause nobody else would! 206 00:15:40,665 --> 00:15:44,931 Watch this, Lise. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. 207 00:15:45,036 --> 00:15:49,598 And... now. 208 00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,040 Ohh. 209 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,685 At least you guys are my friends. 210 00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,453 Son, I know just how you feel~- 211 00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:11,961 You got a great little girl, and the world's your oyster. 212 00:16:12,063 --> 00:16:14,395 No, Dad. She made a fool out of me. 213 00:16:14,499 --> 00:16:18,435 Hey, come to think of it, she did. 214 00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:23,235 Well, she didn't reckon with the awesome power of the chief of police. 215 00:16:23,341 --> 00:16:27,801 Now, where did I put my badge? Hey, that duck's got it! 216 00:16:27,912 --> 00:16:31,439 Oh, come on. Come on. Give it back. I need it. 217 00:16:31,549 --> 00:16:33,744 Aww, keep it. 218 00:16:38,857 --> 00:16:42,054 - Something wrong, Officer? - Yep. Gota tail light out. 219 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,254 - Where? - Right there. 220 00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:49,959 You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops. 221 00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:53,469 They are? Oh, no! Have they set a date? 222 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,744 This orange drink is the only way... 223 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,679 to recoup our terrible losses from Fire Drill Follies. 224 00:17:04,783 --> 00:17:06,774 I just don't know what went wrong. 225 00:17:06,885 --> 00:17:10,685 You opened the show with a fire drill, and everyone cleared out. 226 00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:14,623 Mm. So Mother was right. It was my fault. 227 00:17:14,726 --> 00:17:17,251 Go ahead. Water it down some more. 228 00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:21,298 My God, man. I've watered her down as far as she'll go. 229 00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:23,333 I cannot water no more. 230 00:17:23,435 --> 00:17:25,903 Good evening, everyone, and welcome... 231 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,304 to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves. 232 00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:35,505 We begin with a tribute to our lesser-known presidents. 233 00:17:51,396 --> 00:17:54,092 I died in 30 days! 234 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,521 Hey, girls. Check out this president. 235 00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:19,783 I am not a butt! 236 00:18:22,026 --> 00:18:25,291 Bart, do you wanna play John Wilkes Booth or do you wanna act like a maniac? 237 00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,454 I'll be good. 238 00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:32,502 Ralph, I'm sorry I-- 239 00:18:32,604 --> 00:18:35,835 Leave me alone. I'm here to play George Washington. 240 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,840 Uh, Ralph? 241 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:43,346 Miss Hoover, this beard's giving me a rash. 242 00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:46,008 Milhouse, you have one line, and then you're shot. 243 00:18:46,117 --> 00:18:48,312 Now, get out there. 244 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,582 I thought that civil war would never end. 245 00:18:51,689 --> 00:18:56,422 Now, to soothe my head with an evening at Ford's Theatre. 246 00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:59,258 Oh, no! john Wilkes Booth! 247 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:03,926 Hasta la vista, Abie. 248 00:19:04,035 --> 00:19:07,163 Come on, boy! Finish him off!. 249 00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:11,208 You're next, Chester A. Arthur! 250 00:19:11,309 --> 00:19:14,972 Unhand me, Yankee. 251 00:19:15,079 --> 00:19:18,310 - And now, our evening comes to an end-- - Whoo-hoo! 252 00:19:18,416 --> 00:19:22,284 with a thorough retelling of the life of George Washington. 253 00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:25,481 D'oh! 254 00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:31,022 Dear, dear George Washington, can this liberty you dream of... 255 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:34,826 be worth all this bloodshed? 256 00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:38,164 Well, can it? 257 00:19:40,605 --> 00:19:43,665 Dear madam, would you put a price... 258 00:19:43,775 --> 00:19:47,575 on the air we breathe or the providence that sustains us? 259 00:19:47,679 --> 00:19:51,911 - But couldn't we just give in to the British? - Never! 260 00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:56,919 That boy is magnificent. 261 00:19:57,021 --> 00:20:00,889 He makes me wanna learn more about our founding fathers. 262 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,483 - To the library! - Yeah! 263 00:20:03,595 --> 00:20:07,156 Dear Martha, I fear my time is at hand. 264 00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:10,132 Oh, George. 265 00:20:10,235 --> 00:20:12,965 Your broth, Mr. President. 266 00:20:13,071 --> 00:20:18,373 I asked for no broth. Away with you, lest my cane find your backside! 267 00:20:18,476 --> 00:20:20,376 Mm. Yes. 268 00:20:20,478 --> 00:20:24,938 Please don't leave me, George. 269 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:30,919 Dear wife, if I could take but one treasure with me to the next life... 270 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:35,186 it would be your tender kiss. 271 00:20:37,595 --> 00:20:39,586 Now, that's a man. 272 00:20:47,405 --> 00:20:51,808 I didna cry when me own father was hung for stealin' a pig... 273 00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:55,277 but I'll cry now. 274 00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:11,326 Thanks for coming, and don't forget to purchase some orange drink... 275 00:21:11,429 --> 00:21:14,364 for the long ride home. 276 00:21:14,532 --> 00:21:17,126 Ralph! Ralph! You were so good. 277 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,169 Ralph! 278 00:21:19,270 --> 00:21:22,171 - Lisa! - Hi, Ralph. 279 00:21:22,273 --> 00:21:25,401 - You were great tonight. - Ah, thanks. 280 00:21:25,510 --> 00:21:29,879 - I've got something for you. - "Let's be friends." 281 00:21:29,981 --> 00:21:33,712 It says "bee," and there's a picture of a bee on it! 282 00:21:33,818 --> 00:21:37,254 I thought you'd like it. 283 00:21:38,323 --> 00:21:41,121 Ohh, look at that. 284 00:21:41,225 --> 00:21:43,955 Attention, all units. Riot in progress at-- 285 00:21:44,062 --> 00:21:46,826 - Not tonight. - Hey, hey! Bill and Marty here... 286 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,126 wrapping up a beautiful Presidents' Day. 287 00:21:49,233 --> 00:21:53,636 To George and Abe and all the rest, here's a special song just for you. 288 00:21:57,475 --> 00:21:58,576 Doggone it! 289 00:21:58,576 --> 00:22:00,669 Doggone it! 290 00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:57,801 Shh!