1 00:00:02,645 --> 00:00:05,944 ## The Simpsons ## 2 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:05,840 D'oh! 3 00:01:38,908 --> 00:01:40,808 Mmm! Delicious! 4 00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:42,810 Now, Krusty, I hear it's your birthday... 5 00:01:42,912 --> 00:01:45,312 so I got your mother's recipe for matzohbrei. 6 00:01:45,414 --> 00:01:47,814 Hey, I don't do The Jewish stuff on the air. 7 00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:49,817 But, Hershel, bubbeleh-- 8 00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:52,285 Ix-nay on the ew-Jay. Roll the cartoon. 9 00:01:52,388 --> 00:01:55,255 It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots. 10 00:01:55,358 --> 00:01:57,258 Marge, it happened again. 11 00:02:03,432 --> 00:02:05,332 Ohh. 12 00:02:05,434 --> 00:02:08,335 What are you gonna change your name to when you grow up? 13 00:02:08,437 --> 00:02:09,461 Lois Sanborn. 14 00:02:09,572 --> 00:02:11,164 Steve Bennett. 15 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,042 - Ow. - Hee-hee-hee. 16 00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:25,711 - Ow. - Hee-hee-hee. 17 00:02:25,821 --> 00:02:27,755 - Ow. - Hee-hee-hee. 18 00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,757 This is a rather lifeless outing. 19 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,850 Don't worry. They're building to something. 20 00:02:31,961 --> 00:02:34,293 - Oww. - Hee-hee-hee. 21 00:02:34,397 --> 00:02:37,161 Kids, say no to drugs! 22 00:02:43,606 --> 00:02:46,507 Ehh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my a-- 23 00:02:46,609 --> 00:02:49,578 Hey! Whoa! Wasn't that great, kids? 24 00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:54,173 That's as bad as the tasteless "Itchy and Sambo" cartoons of the late '30s. 25 00:02:54,283 --> 00:02:56,683 The writers should be ashamed of themselves. 26 00:02:56,786 --> 00:02:59,220 - Cartoons have writers? - Ehh, sort of. 27 00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:02,814 Oh, yeah? Well, you and I could write a better cartoon than that. 28 00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:04,825 Write a cartoon ourselves? 29 00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:07,452 Bart, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 30 00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:09,463 Probably not. 31 00:03:09,565 --> 00:03:12,534 Lie in the snow and count to 60. 32 00:03:13,803 --> 00:03:15,703 Hyah! 33 00:03:17,807 --> 00:03:20,708 Merry Christmas, suckers! 34 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,609 "Third notice"? 35 00:03:23,713 --> 00:03:25,613 "Final notice"? 36 00:03:25,715 --> 00:03:27,615 "Some guys are coming"? 37 00:03:27,717 --> 00:03:29,981 Oh, what's this? 38 00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:32,850 An invitation to our high school reunion. 39 00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:35,856 Gee, that's odd. They didn't send one to you. 40 00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,858 This is it, Homer. 41 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,690 It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. 42 00:03:40,796 --> 00:03:44,630 Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. 43 00:03:44,734 --> 00:03:46,361 Oh, my God! 44 00:03:46,469 --> 00:03:48,369 No, the other secret. 45 00:03:48,471 --> 00:03:51,736 Marge, I never graduated from high school. 46 00:03:51,841 --> 00:03:54,742 Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. 47 00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,971 Wait. Maybe it does. 48 00:03:57,079 --> 00:03:59,809 I never passed Remedial Science 1 -A. 49 00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:02,315 And you're a nuclear technician? 50 00:04:02,418 --> 00:04:06,081 Marge, ix-nay on the uclear-nay echnician-tay. 51 00:04:06,188 --> 00:04:10,454 - What did you say? - I don't know. I flunked Latin too. 52 00:04:11,761 --> 00:04:14,787 According to this book, the first thing we need is a setting. 53 00:04:14,897 --> 00:04:19,061 Okay. Setting, setting, setting... setting. 54 00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:35,711 - How about a barbershop? - Great! 55 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,979 Scratchy is getting a haircut. 56 00:04:38,087 --> 00:04:39,987 Then Itchy, the barber... 57 00:04:40,089 --> 00:04:42,489 chops Scratchy's head off with a razor. 58 00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:45,626 ( Mexican ) 59 00:04:47,730 --> 00:04:49,630 Ah, too predictable. 60 00:04:49,732 --> 00:04:51,632 The way I see it, instead of shampoo... 61 00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:54,134 Itchy covers Scratchy's hair with barbecue sauce... 62 00:04:55,938 --> 00:04:58,406 opens a box of flesh-eating ants... 63 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,236 and the rest writes itself. 64 00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:06,748 Ah, this show ain't no good. 65 00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,517 Finished! 66 00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,746 Now all we have to do is put our names on it. 67 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:15,847 - Fine. Put my name first. - No way! 68 00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:19,951 All right, then to decide it I propose a race around the world. 69 00:05:20,062 --> 00:05:22,963 Meet me at Leicester Square at noon tomorrow. 70 00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:25,533 The queen herself shall drop the checkered flag. 71 00:05:25,634 --> 00:05:30,230 Look, there's only one reasonable way to settle this-- rock, paper, scissors. 72 00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:32,239 Poor, predictable Bart. 73 00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:34,241 Always takes rock. 74 00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:36,675 Good old rock. Nothing beats that. 75 00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:39,338 - Rock. - Paper. 76 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:41,006 D'oh! 77 00:05:41,117 --> 00:05:43,051 You call this writing? 78 00:05:43,152 --> 00:05:46,553 If I puked in a fountain pen and mailed it to the monkey house, I'd get better scripts. 79 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,782 -But, sir, at Harvard-- -Oh, at Harvard they taught you? 80 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:52,054 Hit the streets, egghead! You should've majored in not getting fired. 81 00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:56,196 Sir, a Lisa and Bart Simpson sent you a script. 82 00:05:56,298 --> 00:05:58,198 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 83 00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,734 "Dear Mr. Meyers, my brother and I watch your show. 84 00:06:00,836 --> 00:06:02,736 You should be proud that children everywhere--" 85 00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:05,033 Blah-blah-blah, bling-bling-bling-blah. 86 00:06:06,442 --> 00:06:09,502 Hey, egghead! Sing "Fair Harvard." 87 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,183 You, sir, have the boorish manners of a Yalie! 88 00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:22,749 Bart, they rejected our script. 89 00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:25,759 I guess we're just not cut out to be writers. 90 00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:28,757 Maybe he just doesn't take us seriously 'cause we're kids. 91 00:06:28,864 --> 00:06:31,264 Let's put a grown-up's name on it. 92 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:33,767 How about Grampa? He's pretty out of it. 93 00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:36,235 He let those guys use his checkbook for a whole year. 94 00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:40,570 When I read your magazine... 95 00:06:40,676 --> 00:06:42,576 I don't see one wrinkled face... 96 00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:44,942 or a single toothless grin. 97 00:06:45,047 --> 00:06:46,947 For shame! 98 00:06:47,049 --> 00:06:50,246 To the sickos at Modern Bride magazine. 99 00:06:50,352 --> 00:06:52,684 Hey, Grampa, we need to know your first name. 100 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:55,086 You're making my tombstone! 101 00:06:55,191 --> 00:06:57,250 No! We're just curious. 102 00:06:57,359 --> 00:07:00,260 All right, let's see. First name. First name. 103 00:07:00,362 --> 00:07:03,854 Well, whenever I'm confused I just check my underwear. 104 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:07,299 It holds the answer to all the important questions. 105 00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:09,303 Call me... 106 00:07:09,405 --> 00:07:11,600 Abraham Simpson. 107 00:07:11,707 --> 00:07:15,438 Grampa, how'd you take off your underwear without taking off your pants? 108 00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,774 I don't know! 109 00:07:22,618 --> 00:07:24,711 Ehh! 110 00:07:26,755 --> 00:07:28,723 Hmm. 111 00:07:33,229 --> 00:07:35,129 What? 112 00:07:35,231 --> 00:07:38,257 Sir, you locked my office, and I wanted to get my Harvard mug. 113 00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:41,564 Shut up! 114 00:07:48,377 --> 00:07:50,641 Roxie, get me Abraham Simpson. 115 00:07:53,082 --> 00:07:55,312 - Phone call, Simpson. - Ehh? 116 00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:58,978 Is this the Abraham Simpson who wrote the Itchy and Scratchy episode? 117 00:07:59,088 --> 00:08:02,990 Ishi and what? Oh, you must be some kind of crazy person. 118 00:08:03,092 --> 00:08:07,085 I'm sorry, but we have a substantial check here for a Mr. Abraham Simpson. 119 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:10,324 That's right. I did the Iggy. 120 00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:14,732 Ah, my high school yearbook. 121 00:08:14,837 --> 00:08:17,397 You handsome devil. 122 00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:20,407 "I can't believe I ate the whole thing. " 123 00:08:22,511 --> 00:08:26,208 "Activities: none. Sports: none. 124 00:08:26,315 --> 00:08:28,977 Honors: none. " 125 00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,314 So many memories. 126 00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:33,320 Time to go to the reunion. 127 00:08:33,422 --> 00:08:39,156 It'll be great to see the old gang again-- Potsie, Ralph Malph, the Fonz. 128 00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,990 That was Happy Days. 129 00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:43,257 No, they weren't all happy days. 130 00:08:43,365 --> 00:08:45,765 Like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle. 131 00:08:45,868 --> 00:08:48,666 Or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks... 132 00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:51,672 and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back. 133 00:08:57,479 --> 00:08:59,379 Hello, Principal Dondelinger. 134 00:08:59,481 --> 00:09:02,314 Oh, Marge Bouvier. It's so good to see you. 135 00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:05,319 Sorry, sir. We're not letting vagrants sleep in the gym tonight. 136 00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:08,322 But we will be putting some scraps by the back door. 137 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:11,052 - D'oh! - Oh, it's you, Simpson. Yecch. 138 00:09:15,164 --> 00:09:17,997 Look, there's Bobby Mindich, the class clown. 139 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,330 I... am not a crook! 140 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:22,370 Eh? Richard Nixon. 141 00:09:22,471 --> 00:09:24,371 I know! 142 00:09:29,745 --> 00:09:31,770 Oh, my God! 143 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,348 It's my old boyfriend, Artie Ziff. 144 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:38,181 Hello, Marge. Have you heard? I'm stinking rich. 145 00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:40,187 jealous? 146 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:44,350 I'll bet you'd trade it all for one night with my wife. 147 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,928 - I would. - Mmm! 148 00:09:47,029 --> 00:09:48,929 Homer! 149 00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:51,693 Hey, Man, it's Dave! Open up, Man! 150 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,792 Dave's not here, Man. 151 00:09:54,903 --> 00:09:57,303 Okay, now, let's move on-- 152 00:09:57,406 --> 00:10:00,933 The guy's so high, he doesn't even know that's Dave! 153 00:10:01,043 --> 00:10:02,943 Homer. 154 00:10:03,045 --> 00:10:05,775 - Homer? - Homer's not here, Man. 155 00:10:05,881 --> 00:10:07,781 Okay, very good. 156 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:10,852 Now let's get on with our... really big show. 157 00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:12,784 - Ed Sullivan. - Shh! 158 00:10:12,888 --> 00:10:16,790 First, the award for the alumnus who's gained the most weight-- 159 00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:18,917 - Homer Simpson! - Oh, my God! 160 00:10:19,028 --> 00:10:20,928 How'd you do it, Homer? 161 00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:23,863 I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch. 162 00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:27,798 And now the award for most improved odor-- 163 00:10:27,903 --> 00:10:29,803 - Homer Simpson. - Yes! 164 00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:34,740 And the person who traveled the least distance to be here-- 165 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,403 Well, kiss my grits! 166 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,743 Homer Simpson! 167 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,748 What can I say? 168 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:44,751 It hasn't been easy staying in my rut. 169 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:48,414 Class of'74, I was just leafing through your permanent records... 170 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:50,424 when I discovered something shocking. 171 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:53,427 Homer Simpson never passed Remedial Science 1 -A... 172 00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:55,759 and thus never graduated from high school. 173 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,764 I'm sorry, Simpson. 174 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,767 I have to take back those awards. 175 00:11:06,341 --> 00:11:08,809 This is Howard Co-smell. 176 00:11:08,911 --> 00:11:11,607 Homer Simpson is a boob. 177 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,738 What do you think, J.J.? 178 00:11:13,849 --> 00:11:15,749 Dy-no-mite! 179 00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:18,979 Didn't graduate? How low can you get? 180 00:11:19,088 --> 00:11:20,988 Barney, where's your cummerbund? 181 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:23,058 It fell in the toilet. 182 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,365 I'm going to go to night school, earn my high school diploma... 183 00:11:30,466 --> 00:11:33,162 and get back my Most Improved Odor trophy! 184 00:11:34,536 --> 00:11:37,437 You're a comedy writer? My God, you're so old. 185 00:11:37,539 --> 00:11:39,666 I want my check! 186 00:11:39,775 --> 00:11:41,766 You're a writer, all right. 187 00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:44,402 - Here you go, Simpson. - I want another one! 188 00:11:44,513 --> 00:11:48,916 You're a funny guy. How would you like a staff job? I'll start you at $800 a week. 189 00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:50,416 My chest hurts. 190 00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:56,487 All right, leeches, I want you to see what a good writer looks like. 191 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:58,492 His name is Abraham Simpson... 192 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:03,088 and he's got something you couldn't get at your fancy schools-- life experience. 193 00:12:03,198 --> 00:12:06,099 Actually, you know, I wrote my thesis on life experience, and-- 194 00:12:06,201 --> 00:12:08,101 Quiet! 195 00:12:08,203 --> 00:12:10,603 Abe, tell 'em about your amazing life. 196 00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:13,698 I spent 40 years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo. 197 00:12:13,809 --> 00:12:15,709 Wow! 198 00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:19,713 So, this patch steadily releases nicotine into my body... 199 00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,715 eliminating my need for cigarettes. 200 00:12:30,759 --> 00:12:32,659 Roll the cartoon. 201 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,693 Bart! Our cartoon's on TV! 202 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,203 All right! Turn up the volume! 203 00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:47,537 Erosion is a slow but steady process. 204 00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:53,715 Ah, this show ain't no good. Hee-yah! 205 00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:21,732 Bart, Lisa, I have something to tell you, and I'm not proud of it. 206 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,311 Dad, whatever you say... 207 00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:27,314 you know you'll always have my love and respect. 208 00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,884 I never graduated from high school. 209 00:13:39,228 --> 00:13:40,695 Hello, son. 210 00:13:40,796 --> 00:13:43,924 I was on my way home from work and thought I'd drop by. 211 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,091 Oh. You have a job? 212 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:51,161 They pay me $800 a week to tell a cat and mouse what to do! 213 00:13:51,273 --> 00:13:54,174 I see. 214 00:14:01,683 --> 00:14:04,584 Dad, can we talk to Grampa alone for a minute? 215 00:14:04,686 --> 00:14:08,588 All right. But if he starts to wig out, try to lure him into the cellar. 216 00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:11,284 Then we put your name on the script and sent it in. 217 00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:14,760 Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing absolutely nothing? 218 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:21,831 Grampa, we could write the scripts for you and split the money three ways. 219 00:14:21,937 --> 00:14:24,235 I don't know. I'd better sleep on it. 220 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:29,708 Grampa? Grampa! 221 00:14:29,811 --> 00:14:32,746 Oh, why did you wake me? 222 00:14:32,848 --> 00:14:35,009 I was having the nicest dream. 223 00:14:35,117 --> 00:14:38,678 I dreamt I was the queen of the Old West. 224 00:14:38,787 --> 00:14:41,847 I kept a six-shooter in my garter, I did. 225 00:14:41,957 --> 00:14:43,822 - Do we have a deal? - Sure, sure. 226 00:14:48,297 --> 00:14:52,199 Boys, stop! You can both marry me! 227 00:14:52,301 --> 00:14:54,895 Whoo-hoo! Yippee! 228 00:15:00,909 --> 00:15:03,469 Hey, how would you kids like a tour of the studio? 229 00:15:03,578 --> 00:15:06,479 - Yea! - Yea! 230 00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:08,811 - Abe, you comin'? - Any stairs? 231 00:15:08,917 --> 00:15:10,817 -Just one. - Nuts to you! 232 00:15:22,731 --> 00:15:26,132 Wow, it must be expensive to produce all these cartoons. 233 00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,134 Well, we cut corners. 234 00:15:28,236 --> 00:15:29,863 Sometimes to save money... 235 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,700 our animators will reuse the same backgrounds over and over and over again. 236 00:15:43,719 --> 00:15:45,983 Welcome to Remedial Science 1 -A. 237 00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:47,988 My, uh, wife recently passed away. 238 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:50,217 I thought teaching might ease my loneliness. 239 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,555 - Will this be on the test? - No! 240 00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:55,289 Oh! 241 00:15:55,397 --> 00:15:58,298 Hey, Mel, bring me another nicotine patch. 242 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,233 Uh, I think there's some space on my butt. 243 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,271 And now, here's another fine Itchy and Scratchy cartoon... 244 00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:06,273 by Abraham Simpson! 245 00:16:39,307 --> 00:16:41,138 Hmph! 246 00:16:41,243 --> 00:16:43,473 Hmph! 247 00:16:56,558 --> 00:17:00,119 The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet doughnut. 248 00:17:02,164 --> 00:17:05,099 This is not happening. This is not happening! 249 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,259 Dear Mr. President... 250 00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:10,497 there are too many states nowadays. 251 00:17:10,605 --> 00:17:12,505 Please eliminate three. 252 00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:14,598 I am not a crackpot. 253 00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:16,609 - Good news, Abe. - Who are you? 254 00:17:16,711 --> 00:17:19,612 No, no. You've been nominated for an award. 255 00:17:19,714 --> 00:17:22,114 You're so good, I fired the other writers. 256 00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:26,950 From now on, the fate of the entire company rests on that delightful coconut of yours. 257 00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:29,353 Oh, no! We're all doomed! 258 00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:31,358 I'm a complete fraud! 259 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:34,429 Huh? Sorry? I didn't catch any of that. And now I gotta go. 260 00:17:36,665 --> 00:17:39,566 All right, here are your exams. Fifty questions. 261 00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:41,192 - True or false. - True. 262 00:17:41,303 --> 00:17:44,204 - Homer, I was just describing the test. - True. 263 00:17:44,306 --> 00:17:47,104 - Homer, just take the test, and you'll do fine. - False. 264 00:17:49,211 --> 00:17:53,045 All right, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you... 265 00:17:53,148 --> 00:17:57,107 but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer. 266 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,187 It's a deal! 267 00:18:00,555 --> 00:18:02,216 Thank you for this award. 268 00:18:02,324 --> 00:18:05,225 It is a tribute to this great country... 269 00:18:05,327 --> 00:18:09,354 that a man who once took a shot at Teddy Roosevelt could win back your trust. 270 00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:11,364 Yo, Grampa, time for the awards. 271 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:14,094 Did you call the girl from the escort service? 272 00:18:14,202 --> 00:18:16,261 They said their insurance won't cover you. 273 00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:18,601 Oh. That's an onion in the ointment. 274 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,874 Now, to present the award for outstanding writing in a cartoon series... 275 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,884 Krusty the Clown and Brooke Shields. 276 00:18:34,556 --> 00:18:36,456 "Well, here we are. 277 00:18:36,558 --> 00:18:42,155 The star of The Blue Lagoon and me, the blue-haired goon!" 278 00:18:42,264 --> 00:18:45,028 What the-- That's terrible! 279 00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:48,068 Cartoons have the power to make us laugh and to make us cry. 280 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,069 Wouldn't you agree, Krusty? 281 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:53,334 First of all, my hair is green, not blue. 282 00:18:53,441 --> 00:18:55,341 I got nothin' to work with here. 283 00:18:55,443 --> 00:18:57,343 - Nothin'! - Uh-- 284 00:18:57,445 --> 00:19:00,346 Well, at least I can take off this girdle. 285 00:19:02,384 --> 00:19:04,284 Ohh, yeah! 286 00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:08,948 Uh, the nominees for best writing in a cartoon series are... 287 00:19:09,057 --> 00:19:11,226 Strong-dar, Master of Akom, the wedding episode. 288 00:19:11,226 --> 00:19:12,818 Strong-dar, Master of Akom, the wedding episode. 289 00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:18,991 Action Figure Man, the "How to Buy Action Figure Man" episode. 290 00:19:19,100 --> 00:19:22,797 Please, Mommy. I want it. 291 00:19:22,904 --> 00:19:25,099 Hmm. 292 00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:29,269 Ren and Stimpy, season premiere. 293 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,510 And finally, Itchy and Scratchy, the "Little Barbershop of Horrors" episode. 294 00:19:36,618 --> 00:19:38,518 Cross my fingers for me. 295 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:41,453 That's gonna hurt come winter. 296 00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:53,296 And the winner is... 297 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:56,302 Itchy and Scratchy, Abraham Simpson-- rise. 298 00:19:58,306 --> 00:20:00,934 All right, Grampa! Whoo! 299 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,642 That was the first time I ever saw Itchy and Scratchy... 300 00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:09,012 and I didn't like it one bit! 301 00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:11,312 It was disgusting and violent! 302 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:15,947 I think all you people are despicable! For shame! 303 00:20:19,828 --> 00:20:21,728 He's right. We've been wasting our lives. 304 00:20:28,737 --> 00:20:30,705 Here, kids. I guess you deserve this. 305 00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,705 Let's go. 306 00:20:34,009 --> 00:20:36,204 I guess nobody likes the truth, huh, Grampa? 307 00:20:36,311 --> 00:20:39,508 - Nope. - I'll never watch an awards show again. 308 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:42,845 Unless that delightful Billy Crystal's involved. 309 00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,851 Marge! I passed! 310 00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:47,080 That's wonderful, Homie! 311 00:20:47,188 --> 00:20:51,420 At our next high school reunion, I'll have nothing to be ashamed of. 312 00:20:58,099 --> 00:21:00,067 Hello, Dondelinger. 313 00:21:00,168 --> 00:21:03,399 Simpson. Is that a plunger stuck on your head? 314 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,570 D'oh! 315 00:21:17,452 --> 00:21:18,783 Not me! 316 00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:28,361 Knock that off, you two! It's time for church! 317 00:21:28,463 --> 00:21:30,624 We're not going to church today. 318 00:21:30,732 --> 00:21:33,701 What? You give me one good reason! 319 00:21:33,802 --> 00:21:35,269 It's Saturday! 320 00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:37,838 Okilly-dokilly-do! 321 00:22:28,990 --> 00:22:30,958 Shh!