1 00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:07,400 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:39,002 D'oh! 3 00:00:58,489 --> 00:01:02,289 - I need one 29-cent stamp. - That's $1 .85. 4 00:01:02,393 --> 00:01:04,361 - I want $2.00 worth of gas, please. - $4.20. 5 00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,157 How much is your penny candy? 6 00:01:07,264 --> 00:01:10,631 - Surprisingly expensive. - What a rip-off!. 7 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:13,225 This is what I think of your store! 8 00:01:15,439 --> 00:01:17,873 Silly customer! 9 00:01:17,975 --> 00:01:20,466 You cannot hurt a Twinkie! 10 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:28,943 Jiminy Cricket! Whoo! Expired ham. 11 00:01:33,157 --> 00:01:36,456 Well, this time I've gone too far. No. No one will fall for-- 12 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,460 Woo-hoo! Cheap meat! 13 00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:41,725 Ooh, this one's open. 14 00:01:46,337 --> 00:01:50,103 Ooh! Stomach churning! 15 00:01:50,207 --> 00:01:52,198 Bowels clenching. 16 00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:54,641 Not much time. 17 00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:57,908 Must fnish. 18 00:02:00,351 --> 00:02:04,583 Well, sir, Homer's illness was either caused by ingesting spoiled food... 19 00:02:04,688 --> 00:02:08,124 or some sort of voodoo curse. 20 00:02:08,225 --> 00:02:10,819 Hey, we've just been working the eyes. 21 00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:15,421 Your old meat made me sick! 22 00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:19,024 Oh, I'm so sorry. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp. 23 00:02:19,136 --> 00:02:23,573 This shrimp isn't frozen, and it smells funny. 24 00:02:23,674 --> 00:02:25,642 - Okay. Ten pounds. - Whoo-hoo! 25 00:02:35,052 --> 00:02:38,146 Brought to you by-- 26 00:02:41,825 --> 00:02:44,350 That dog can sell anything. 27 00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:48,488 Good evening. Here's an update on last week's nursing-home exposé, ''Geezers in Freezers.'' 28 00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:51,500 It turns out the rest home was adequately heated. 29 00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:54,867 The footage you saw was of a fur-storage facility. 30 00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:58,965 We've also been told to apologize for using the term ''geezers.'' 31 00:02:59,076 --> 00:03:03,012 Now, coming up next, ''The Case of the Cantankerous Old Geezer.'' 32 00:03:03,113 --> 00:03:05,081 Ohh! Urp! 33 00:03:05,182 --> 00:03:08,583 Rancid meat attack! Stupid parasites! 34 00:03:08,685 --> 00:03:11,017 Is there no way I can find justice? 35 00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:14,420 If you have a consumer complaint, just call this number. 36 00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:17,722 - Boring. - Dad, you should blow the whistle on the Kwik-E-Mart. 37 00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:21,958 - And now a message from the Church of Latter-day Saints. 38 00:03:22,066 --> 00:03:26,230 - Dad, are you listening to me? - Shh! Lisa! The dog is barking. 39 00:03:29,306 --> 00:03:31,968 All right. Are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep? 40 00:03:32,076 --> 00:03:36,513 No way, man! No way, man! Get yourself another patsy, man! 41 00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:40,105 - No way am I wearin' a freakin' wire. - All right, all right. 42 00:03:40,217 --> 00:03:43,744 - Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone? - Oh, that I'll wear. 43 00:03:45,622 --> 00:03:49,251 We've come up with a camera so tiny it fits into this oversized novelty hat. 44 00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:56,565 Now go get us some incriminating footage. Remember, you have to get in and out in 1 0 minutes... 45 00:03:56,667 --> 00:04:00,034 - or you'll suffer permanent neck damage. - He's not kiddin'. 46 00:04:13,083 --> 00:04:16,211 - Huh? - Don't be alarmed, Apu. 47 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:20,017 Just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing the hat. 48 00:04:20,124 --> 00:04:23,560 Your headgear seems to be emitting a buzzing noise, sir. 49 00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,560 Perhaps you have a bee in your bonnet. 50 00:04:25,662 --> 00:04:27,994 Bee? 51 00:04:32,803 --> 00:04:36,330 Homer, that hat's been with the station for 20 years. 52 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,806 He had one day left till retirement. 53 00:04:38,909 --> 00:04:42,902 " La la la la la " Well, time to replenish the hot-dog roller. 54 00:04:43,013 --> 00:04:44,981 " La la " Oops! 55 00:04:47,451 --> 00:04:50,716 Oh, no. It is encrusted with filth. 56 00:04:50,821 --> 00:04:53,585 Oh, well. Let's sell it anyway. 57 00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:59,094 Now, this is just between me and you, smashed hat. 58 00:04:59,196 --> 00:05:01,687 Hot diggety dog! We've got him, Mr. Simpson. 59 00:05:01,798 --> 00:05:04,426 Now, let's-- Mr. Simpson? 60 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:07,060 One hot dog, please. 61 00:05:10,207 --> 00:05:12,835 Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat? 62 00:05:12,943 --> 00:05:16,174 No. I mean, yes. I mean-- Uh-oh. 63 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,410 - I think I come off very well. - Monster! Run, children! 64 00:05:22,352 --> 00:05:26,686 Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart corporation. 65 00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:29,190 But, sir, I was only following standard procedure. 66 00:05:29,293 --> 00:05:31,659 Ah, true. But it's also standard procedure... 67 00:05:31,762 --> 00:05:34,993 to blame any problems on a scapegoat or sacrificial lamb. 68 00:05:35,098 --> 00:05:37,658 Uh-huh. And if I can obtain for you these animals? 69 00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:40,134 I'm sorry, Apu. I have no choice. 70 00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:43,229 You can no longer wear this name patch. 71 00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:47,071 And you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles. 72 00:05:47,177 --> 00:05:50,613 Now, turn in your pricing gun. 73 00:05:50,714 --> 00:05:52,682 Oh! 74 00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:57,216 The other one too. 75 00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:06,692 Oh! Fired after all these years of loyal service. 76 00:06:06,797 --> 00:06:09,925 - I don't want to live anymore! Oh! - Give me that wiener! 77 00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,263 - No! I don't want to live, sir! - Give me that wiener! 78 00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,394 No, Apu! It's not worth it! 79 00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,904 What do I do now? 80 00:06:17,007 --> 00:06:21,501 I've been drummed out of my profession. I'm a disgrace. 81 00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:26,140 Even this babbling brook sounds almost like mocking laughter. 82 00:06:29,086 --> 00:06:31,884 Who needs money when we got feathers? 83 00:06:38,895 --> 00:06:41,329 Hmm. 84 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:50,602 This is all because of Homer Simpson. 85 00:06:52,943 --> 00:06:54,911 Oh, oh, stop! 86 00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:58,106 Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this. 87 00:07:00,817 --> 00:07:05,049 Yeah, but white guys, see, they drive a car like this. " 88 00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:10,593 It's true! It's true! We're so lame. 89 00:07:10,694 --> 00:07:13,424 It is time to settle the score. 90 00:07:16,867 --> 00:07:18,630 Huh? 91 00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,402 Aah! 92 00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:34,916 No! Don't kill me! I didn't know there was film in that camera in that hat! 93 00:07:35,018 --> 00:07:38,681 I was unaware! I was unaware! 94 00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:40,780 Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me. 95 00:07:40,891 --> 00:07:44,657 In my village, this is the traditional pose of apology. 96 00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:48,561 - Oh. - Now that I think about it, it may be a little confusing. 97 00:07:48,665 --> 00:07:51,099 Many have died needlessly. 98 00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:54,534 I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing. 99 00:07:54,638 --> 00:07:57,664 But then I realized it was I who wronged you. 100 00:07:57,774 --> 00:08:01,175 So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service. 101 00:08:01,278 --> 00:08:03,838 You're selling what now? 102 00:08:03,947 --> 00:08:07,178 I'm selling only the concept of karmic realignment. 103 00:08:07,284 --> 00:08:10,515 You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. 104 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,020 He's got me there. 105 00:08:14,791 --> 00:08:18,693 - Is he still out there? - Yes. He's raking leaves. 106 00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:20,763 What? That's your job! 107 00:08:20,864 --> 00:08:22,957 If he starts doing Lisa's wood chopping-- 108 00:08:23,066 --> 00:08:25,933 If he wants to make it up to you so badly, I think you should let him. 109 00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:30,268 Okay, okay. I'll let him. But then I get a Chipwich. Okay? 110 00:08:30,374 --> 00:08:33,605 It is an honor to begin repaying my debt to you. 111 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:36,736 Back in Rahmatpur, I was considered quite the gourmet. 112 00:08:36,847 --> 00:08:40,578 Hmm. It certainly is exotic. 113 00:08:40,684 --> 00:08:43,346 Oh, Lisa, is that too spicy for you? 114 00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,421 I can see through time. 115 00:08:45,522 --> 00:08:49,856 Stop being such babies. You can't be afraid to try new things. 116 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,723 For instance, tonight I'm using a-- Apu, what do you call this thing again? 117 00:08:51,828 --> 00:08:53,295 - A napkin. - Outrageous! 118 00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:03,635 All right. Why do you want to become a part of the Kwik-E-Mart family? 119 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:07,369 Because I like people, and I need a place where I'll be out of the sun. 120 00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:09,445 Thank you. 121 00:09:09,546 --> 00:09:11,946 Hmm. He's head and shoulders above everyone else. 122 00:09:12,048 --> 00:09:15,017 - Wait. There's one more applicant. - Name? 123 00:09:15,118 --> 00:09:17,746 -James Woods. - Previous job experience? 124 00:09:17,854 --> 00:09:23,190 Ooh, uh, gee, True Believer, uh, Salvador, Onion Field, The Hard Way. 125 00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:25,420 Wait-Wait a minute! Those aren't convenience stores. 126 00:09:25,529 --> 00:09:28,623 - That sounds like the resume of a Hollywood movie star. - Uh, yeah, well-- Huh! 127 00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:31,223 James Woods! 128 00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:33,564 Why would you want to work at a Kwik-E-Mart? 129 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:37,037 Well, uh, to be honest, in my upcoming movie... 130 00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,438 I'm gonna be playing this tightly wound convenience-store clerk... 131 00:09:39,543 --> 00:09:43,206 And, you know, I kinda like to research my roles and really get into it. 132 00:09:43,313 --> 00:09:46,146 For instance, True Believer. I actually worked in a law firm for two months. 133 00:09:46,249 --> 00:09:47,682 And in the film Chaplin-- I had a little cameo in that-- 134 00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:49,081 I actually traveled in time back to the '20s where-- 135 00:09:49,186 --> 00:09:50,483 - Well, I-I've said too much. - Welcome aboard. 136 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:02,462 Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm? 137 00:10:02,566 --> 00:10:04,397 Good morning, sir. 138 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:08,767 Relax, please. You do not have anything I have not seen before. 139 00:10:08,872 --> 00:10:13,241 - What the-- - Uh, I like to keep a lollipop there. 140 00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:17,905 " La la la la " 141 00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:22,417 - Apu, we usually store our cans in the cupboard. - Oh, they'll never move that way. 142 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:25,010 Mmm! Corn! Haven't had that in a while. 143 00:10:25,121 --> 00:10:27,385 Yeah! Delicious corn. 144 00:10:27,491 --> 00:10:29,618 - Bye. - Hm. 145 00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:34,129 Oh, we're low on milk for Maggie. You wanna come with me to the Kwik-E-Mart? 146 00:10:34,231 --> 00:10:36,222 Please, Mrs. Simpson. 147 00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:40,963 I-- I cannot go there. That is the scene of my spiritual depantsing. 148 00:10:41,071 --> 00:10:45,235 Umm, well, I guess we could go to that new Monstromart. 149 00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:57,812 Ooh! That's a good price for 1 2 pounds of nutmeg. 150 00:10:57,921 --> 00:11:02,585 Ooh! Great selection and rock-bottom prices. But where is the love? 151 00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:04,751 Attention, Monstromart shoppers. 152 00:11:04,861 --> 00:11:07,455 Just a reminder that we love each and every one of you. 153 00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:10,727 - Aww! - Hm! 154 00:11:13,136 --> 00:11:16,572 Excuse me, ma'am. Where are the lampshades? 155 00:11:16,673 --> 00:11:19,733 Ma'am? 156 00:11:19,843 --> 00:11:22,607 Oh! I've killed her! 157 00:11:22,712 --> 00:11:26,648 It's all happening again! 158 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,945 Mm-hmm. 159 00:11:34,491 --> 00:11:39,690 Help me! Help me! Mmm! It's cran-tastic! 160 00:11:42,198 --> 00:11:47,135 Uh, Mrs. Simpson, the express line is the fastest line not always. 161 00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:52,265 That old man up front, he is starved for attention. He will talk the cashier's head off. 162 00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:56,573 Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. 163 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,172 In 1 957, I remember it was. 164 00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:05,050 I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. 165 00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:09,558 I set the toaster to three-- medium brown. 166 00:12:09,659 --> 00:12:12,560 - Let's go to... that line. - But that's the longest. 167 00:12:12,662 --> 00:12:17,190 Yes, but look-- all pathetic single men. Only cash, no chitchat. 168 00:12:21,204 --> 00:12:23,764 Mmm! 169 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,899 Seventy-fve, 85, 90 and a dollar. 170 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:29,205 Thank you and come again. Hey, wait a minute! Hey! 171 00:12:29,312 --> 00:12:33,248 Uh, eh, could I just ask you a question? 172 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:37,719 Did you-- Huh! Did you believe that? I mean, the way I gave you the change? 173 00:12:37,821 --> 00:12:42,258 Did I sound like a real Kwik-E-Mart, you know, kinda guy? 174 00:12:42,359 --> 00:12:45,453 - Actually, I thought it was a little labored. - Oh. 175 00:12:45,562 --> 00:12:48,326 You gotta lose yourself in the moment, man. 176 00:12:48,431 --> 00:12:52,197 Yeah. Like-- Yeah! Okay. Great. Okay. Let-Let's just try that again. Okay? Come on. 177 00:12:52,302 --> 00:12:55,738 Hey. Come on. Hey-ey-ey! Hey, get over here! Okay. Now, you're you, I'm me. 178 00:12:55,839 --> 00:13:00,435 - I'm me? - Hey, don't jerk me around, fella. 179 00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:06,242 - Pass the chutney. - Apu, you've been so helpful. 180 00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:09,682 If it weren't for him, we'd still be in line at the Monstromart. 181 00:13:09,786 --> 00:13:13,847 And he taught me how to play the shehnai. 182 00:13:13,957 --> 00:13:17,051 That's even worse than the album Grampa released. 183 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,357 And he taught me how to do this. 184 00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:23,557 I got out of school, 'cause I told 'em I was mangled in a car wreck. 185 00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:27,398 - Thank you all for the kind praise. - Well, you deserve it. 186 00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:31,941 All these vegetables are really clearing the cholesterol out of the old heart. 187 00:13:36,646 --> 00:13:40,605 Ahh. Apu friend me good. 188 00:13:40,717 --> 00:13:44,517 I think what my father's saying is you're like a member of the family now. 189 00:13:44,621 --> 00:13:49,354 I feel that way too. You see, whether igloo, hut or lean-to... 190 00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:51,654 or a geodesic dome... 191 00:13:51,761 --> 00:13:55,788 there's no structure I have been to which I'd rather call my home. 192 00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:58,129 Hello. Aah! 193 00:13:58,234 --> 00:14:00,634 "When I first arrived you were all such jerks " 194 00:14:00,737 --> 00:14:03,968 " But now I've come to lo-o-ove your quirks " 195 00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:06,099 " Maggie with her eyes so bright " 196 00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:08,302 " Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright " 197 00:14:08,411 --> 00:14:10,641 " Lisa can philosophize " 198 00:14:10,747 --> 00:14:12,647 " Bart's adept at spinning lies " 199 00:14:12,749 --> 00:14:14,717 " Homer's a delightful fella " 200 00:14:14,818 --> 00:14:18,481 - " Sorry 'bout the salmonella " - Heh-heh! That's okay. 201 00:14:18,588 --> 00:14:21,318 - Aah! - "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 202 00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:23,824 " Now here's the tricky part " 203 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:27,920 " Oh, won't you rhyme with me " 204 00:14:28,031 --> 00:14:29,999 "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 205 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,398 "Their floors are sticky-mart " 206 00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:34,493 "They made Dad sicky-mart " 207 00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:36,697 " Let's hurl a bricky-mart " 208 00:14:36,806 --> 00:14:39,297 "The Kwik-E-Mart is real-- " D'oh! 209 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:44,037 "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 210 00:14:44,147 --> 00:14:47,583 - " Not me " - " Forget the Kwik-E-Mart " 211 00:14:47,684 --> 00:14:49,709 " Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart " 212 00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:52,253 "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 213 00:14:52,355 --> 00:14:54,323 " Not me " 214 00:14:58,194 --> 00:15:03,291 Ahh. Everything really wrapped up nicely. Hmm. Much quicker than usual. 215 00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:06,300 I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it. 216 00:15:06,402 --> 00:15:11,237 And we've all found happiness, every one of us. 217 00:15:15,311 --> 00:15:17,211 Hey, what's that sound? 218 00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:24,884 "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 219 00:15:24,988 --> 00:15:29,891 " I do " 220 00:15:29,993 --> 00:15:34,555 Hey, he's not happy at all! He lied to us through song! 221 00:15:34,664 --> 00:15:36,723 I hate when people do that! 222 00:15:40,403 --> 00:15:44,339 I can't lie to myself, you know. I do miss my Kwik-E-Mart. 223 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,068 Isn't there anything you can do to get your job back? 224 00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:52,205 - I must go to the head office and appeal my case. - I'm coming with you! 225 00:15:52,315 --> 00:15:55,443 I got you fired. It's the least I can do. 226 00:15:55,552 --> 00:16:00,512 Well, the least I could do is absolutely nothing. But I'll go you one better and come along. 227 00:16:00,623 --> 00:16:03,387 - But, sir, the head office is in India. - Okay. 228 00:16:03,493 --> 00:16:07,054 - Dad, that's over 1 0,000 miles away. - I'm aware of that! 229 00:16:07,163 --> 00:16:10,155 - That's over 1 6,000 kilometers. - D'oh! 230 00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:29,807 -Are we in India yet? - No. 231 00:16:29,919 --> 00:16:30,908 -Are we in India yet? - No. 232 00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:32,009 -Are we in India yet? - No. 233 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:35,090 Oh, wait... now we are. 234 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,026 T-Tony, T-Tony, y-you're my agent. 235 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,187 You have to do something about this. 236 00:16:41,297 --> 00:16:44,027 Uh! How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character... 237 00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:48,968 from a tightly wound convenience-store clerk to a jittery Eskimo firefighter? 238 00:16:49,072 --> 00:16:52,405 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. 239 00:16:52,508 --> 00:16:55,671 Well, actually, that's-- that's a pretty good explanation. 240 00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:58,440 Now, this is gross-- This'll be gross points, right, on this new-- Okay. 241 00:16:58,548 --> 00:17:01,415 Yeah, 'cause those monkey-- Yeah. Okay. Great. Okay. Look. Book me a flight... 242 00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:05,214 rent me an igloo, and tell those dorks at the Kwik-E-Mart that, boom, I am out of here. 243 00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:09,155 I'm a dot. I'm gone. Okay? What do you mean I gotta give two weeks notice? 244 00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:12,820 Why, you damn, frickin', no good mother-- cheese! 245 00:17:12,929 --> 00:17:15,056 No, not you. I'm just talkin' to my oven. 246 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,871 Oh, great. Christians. 247 00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:31,037 Attention, passengers. Dinner is now being sered in the dining car. 248 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:45,750 - Ooh-ooh! - There she is. 249 00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:50,265 There she is, the world's first convenience store. 250 00:17:53,269 --> 00:17:56,670 - This isn't very convenient. - Must you dump on everything we do? 251 00:18:04,714 --> 00:18:08,377 He is the benevolent, enlightened president and C.E.O.... 252 00:18:08,484 --> 00:18:11,112 of Kwik-E-Mart, and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart. 253 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,553 He is the one I must ask for my job back. 254 00:18:14,657 --> 00:18:17,717 Approach, my sons. 255 00:18:20,363 --> 00:18:23,355 You may ask me three questions. 256 00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,627 That's great, because all I need is one. 257 00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:28,533 - Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? - Yes. 258 00:18:28,638 --> 00:18:30,435 - Really? - Yes. - You? 259 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:34,442 Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you. 260 00:18:34,544 --> 00:18:36,705 - But I must-- - Thank you. Come again. 261 00:18:36,813 --> 00:18:38,781 - But-- - Thank you. Come again. 262 00:18:38,881 --> 00:18:41,577 Well, that was a big bust. 263 00:18:41,684 --> 00:18:43,948 Is he really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? 264 00:18:44,053 --> 00:18:46,351 No need to apologize, Apu. 265 00:18:46,456 --> 00:18:49,050 It was as much my fault as it was yours. 266 00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:55,588 Okay, Apu! I accept your apology. 267 00:18:57,767 --> 00:19:01,203 Dad.! Dad.! What'd you bring us? What'd you bring? 268 00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:04,637 - How did it go? - Fine! Oh, I mean, not good. 269 00:19:04,741 --> 00:19:09,269 I'm sorry, Apu. But remember-- "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart " 270 00:19:09,379 --> 00:19:11,347 Do you mind? I'm not in the mood. 271 00:19:11,447 --> 00:19:14,143 Apu, if it'll make you feel any better... 272 00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:17,549 I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another... 273 00:19:17,653 --> 00:19:20,486 until you just wish Flanders was dead. 274 00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:24,390 Yes, yes. You are right, sir. I've got to accept my fate. 275 00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,689 I have feared it for long enough now. 276 00:19:26,796 --> 00:19:30,755 I'm going to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart, and I am going to face my demon! 277 00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:33,995 Oh, that'll work out great! We're out of Lucky Charms. 278 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,408 Ah, my old Squishee machine. 279 00:19:49,786 --> 00:19:52,516 And my scum bucket with flies. 280 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:57,115 And a hot-check list. 281 00:19:57,226 --> 00:20:00,821 Hey, hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, aren't ya? I mean, you're the-- 282 00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:03,990 God, you're--you're like the guy! You're a legend around here. 283 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:08,161 Can I ask you-- is it true you once worked 96 hours straight? 284 00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:10,865 Oh, yes. It was horrible, I tell you. 285 00:20:10,973 --> 00:20:13,999 By the end, I thought I was a hummingbird of some kind. 286 00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:16,635 Oh, yeah! You know, I studied your old security tapes. 287 00:20:16,746 --> 00:20:20,182 Fee-ee-ee-ee. 288 00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:23,817 Fee-ee-ee-ee. 289 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,856 In a few minutes I try to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head. 290 00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:31,154 All right, you! Hand over the cash, and don't try any funny stuff!. 291 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:36,129 Hey, pal. I assure you. If I tried any funny stuff, you would be in hysterics. 292 00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:39,258 - Hey, you'reJames Woods! - Oh, thank you. Yes, yes. Thank you. 293 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,892 Well, Mr. Woods... 294 00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:45,030 - your new song is gonna be number three with a bullet. 295 00:20:45,141 --> 00:20:48,599 - I-I'm not a singer. - Shut up! 296 00:20:48,711 --> 00:20:51,942 No-o-o! 297 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,442 - Apu! - Oh! 298 00:20:56,552 --> 00:20:59,112 The searing kiss of hot lead. 299 00:20:59,222 --> 00:21:03,522 How I've missed you. I mean, I think I'm dying. 300 00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:06,618 - Uhh. - Oy. 301 00:21:08,731 --> 00:21:11,131 Well, you are a very lucky man, Apu. 302 00:21:11,234 --> 00:21:14,032 You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet... 303 00:21:14,137 --> 00:21:17,368 that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery. 304 00:21:17,473 --> 00:21:20,499 Apu, you saved my life. 305 00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:26,048 And as a small token of my appreciation, I got you your job back at the Kwik-E-Mart. 306 00:21:26,149 --> 00:21:28,447 Oh! Oh, Mr. Woods, you're-- 307 00:21:28,551 --> 00:21:32,647 But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet. 308 00:21:32,755 --> 00:21:38,057 - That sounds like a good movie. - Yes. Yes, a-a movie. Yes. 309 00:21:40,363 --> 00:21:43,332 Hey, let's all hug Apu. 310 00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:46,162 - Aww. - Ooh! 311 00:21:50,072 --> 00:21:53,371 Hey, there's still time. Let's hug him again. 312 00:21:53,476 --> 00:21:56,673 - Aww. - Mm! 313 00:22:47,096 --> 00:22:49,064 Shh!