1 00:00:35,457 --> 00:00:37,948 Damn FDA. Why can't it all be marshmallow? 2 00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:41,921 Bart, don't put the non-marshmallow pieces back in the box. 3 00:00:42,088 --> 00:00:43,584 They go in the trash. 4 00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,714 You like sweets, kids? 5 00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:48,547 I know a place that's sweeter than sweetness itself. 6 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,089 In this sweet place, earthly doughnuts are sour as poison. 7 00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:53,761 You'd spit them out, you would. 8 00:00:55,436 --> 00:01:00,347 I'm talking about the Candy Industry Trade Show. 9 00:01:00,566 --> 00:01:01,764 How did you get tickets? 10 00:01:01,984 --> 00:01:04,475 They hid them in every millionth Krusty Klump Bar... 11 00:01:04,695 --> 00:01:06,403 ...and Krusty Klump Bar with almonds. 12 00:01:10,493 --> 00:01:12,320 Hey. Hey. 13 00:01:12,495 --> 00:01:15,413 I have asked you nicely not to mangle my merchandise. 14 00:01:15,581 --> 00:01:18,500 You leave me no choice but to ask you nicely again. 15 00:01:19,335 --> 00:01:22,539 -Can I come to the candy show? Can I? -No, me. Take me, me, me. 16 00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:24,042 Sorry, kids. 17 00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:27,549 But this the one event I want my darling wife by my side. 18 00:01:27,761 --> 00:01:30,465 Oh, well, thank you, Homer. But take one of the kids. 19 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,219 Marge, they can't carry enough candy. 20 00:01:33,391 --> 00:01:36,891 They have puny little muscles. Not big, ropy ones like you. 21 00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:42,433 -You go, Mom. For the greater good. -For the greater good. 22 00:01:43,485 --> 00:01:45,941 Homer, are all these pockets necessary? 23 00:01:46,155 --> 00:01:49,358 They wouldn't be if you would sit in a hollowed-out wheelchair. 24 00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:53,276 Well, that's the babysitter. No one in town will sit for you two anymore. 25 00:01:53,454 --> 00:01:57,500 I had to choose between a grad student at the university or a scary-looking hobo. 26 00:01:57,708 --> 00:02:00,081 Please, the hobo. Please, the hobo. The hobo. 27 00:02:00,461 --> 00:02:02,336 Hi. I'm Ashley Grant. 28 00:02:03,673 --> 00:02:06,792 Ashley Grant. You gave a talk on women's issues at my school... 29 00:02:06,968 --> 00:02:09,459 ...on how we don't have to be second-class citizens. 30 00:02:09,637 --> 00:02:12,128 Mom, how can you leave us with this maniac? 31 00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:14,513 Hurry. If we're early, we can get a picture... 32 00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,511 ...with the two surviving Musketeers. 33 00:02:16,686 --> 00:02:19,770 There's also a baby somewhere upstairs. 34 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:25,269 So you're one of those “don't-call-me-a-chick“ chicks, huh? 35 00:02:26,029 --> 00:02:28,271 Sorry about my unenlightened brother. 36 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,655 He will make the next few hours a living hell. 37 00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:32,202 Oh, I don't know. 38 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,077 See this, Bart? 39 00:02:35,163 --> 00:02:36,706 Disemboweler IV. 40 00:02:36,874 --> 00:02:40,741 The game where condemned criminals dig at each other with rusty hooks. 41 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:44,166 Do a little housework and you can play for five minutes. 42 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,256 No way. 43 00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:51,012 -Yes. -See, Lisa? Male's aren't hard to tame. 44 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:55,095 They all follow their video cartridges. 45 00:03:03,276 --> 00:03:05,400 Mr. Goodbar to the front desk. 46 00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:08,239 The front desk is looking for Mr. Goodbar. 47 00:03:09,282 --> 00:03:12,533 I feel like a kid in some kind of a store. 48 00:03:15,747 --> 00:03:17,242 Brilliant. 49 00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:19,661 Exquisite. 50 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,579 You'll do well. Give me those. 51 00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:26,294 Well, as you can see, I have created a lemon ball so sour... 52 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:29,634 ...it can only be safely contained in a magnetic field. 53 00:03:29,845 --> 00:03:33,262 The candy, known as 77X42-- 54 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,476 -Where the hell is the candy? -I don't know. 55 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,764 Hey, sir. Try our wax lips. 56 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:42,769 -It's the candy of 1000 uses. -Like what? 57 00:03:42,983 --> 00:03:45,819 One, a humorous substitute for your own lips. 58 00:03:46,237 --> 00:03:49,191 -Keep going. -Two... 59 00:03:49,657 --> 00:03:51,532 I'm needed in the basement. 60 00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:09,208 You're gonna have to put some sugar on that celery or get out, ma'am. 61 00:04:14,015 --> 00:04:15,842 Gummi bears. Gummi calves' heads. 62 00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:18,687 Gummi jawbreakers. 63 00:04:24,443 --> 00:04:28,358 -What's that? -That is the rarest Gummi of them all. 64 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,859 The Gummi Venus de Milo, carved by Gummi artisans... 65 00:04:32,034 --> 00:04:34,739 ...who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi. 66 00:04:34,912 --> 00:04:37,118 Will you two stop saying “Gummi“ so much? 67 00:04:40,084 --> 00:04:42,326 Must have rare Gummi. Distract the salesman. 68 00:04:42,503 --> 00:04:46,002 No. I won't make a spectacle out of myself any further. 69 00:04:50,136 --> 00:04:52,592 How did they get there? 70 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:59,969 Now, this is going to take all my skill. 71 00:05:02,273 --> 00:05:05,441 -Halt! Halt! -Run, Marge. Save the booty. 72 00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,313 After him. He has the Gummi. 73 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:23,957 See you in hell, candy boy! 74 00:05:37,351 --> 00:05:39,677 Lis, I found a big caramel deposit on her back. 75 00:05:39,854 --> 00:05:41,930 I'm coming. 76 00:05:47,904 --> 00:05:50,194 Wait a minute. Wait. Where's my Gummi de Milo? 77 00:05:50,406 --> 00:05:54,108 Okay, don't panic. She can't have gotten far. She has no arms. 78 00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:55,656 I'm sure it'll turn up. 79 00:05:55,829 --> 00:05:59,032 Take the babysitter home now. She's been in the car for 20 minutes. 80 00:05:59,207 --> 00:06:02,624 Relax, Marge. There's plenty for her to do in there. 81 00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:05,709 See? She's having the time of her life. 82 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,216 So a graduate student, huh? 83 00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:12,636 How come you can go to the mean, but can't make my shoes smell good? 84 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,715 -I'm sorry? -Nobody's blaming you. 85 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,681 Could you take the wheel for a second? 86 00:06:16,892 --> 00:06:20,641 -I have to scratch in two places at once. -Just drop me off here. 87 00:06:25,943 --> 00:06:27,651 Precious Venus. 88 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,818 Thank you. 89 00:06:44,379 --> 00:06:46,704 Hey, kids. Lots of candy left for breakfast. 90 00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:52,803 Why don't we give it to some needy children then? 91 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:01,012 The candy conventioneers tracked us down. 92 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,894 There he is. There's the man that sexually harassed me. 93 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:10,693 For a minute there I thought I was in big trouble. It's just a-- 94 00:07:12,616 --> 00:07:16,744 Two, four, six, eight Homer's crime was very great 95 00:07:17,079 --> 00:07:21,077 "Great" meaning "large or immense" We use it in the pejorative sense 96 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:24,833 Marge, I swear I didn't touch her. You know how bashful I am. 97 00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:29,002 I can't even say the word “titmouse“ without giggling like a schoolgirl. 98 00:07:31,052 --> 00:07:32,380 At any rate, I believe you. 99 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:35,092 I think you should go outside and straighten this out. 100 00:07:35,265 --> 00:07:37,934 Some of their chants are very catchy and memorable. 101 00:07:39,811 --> 00:07:43,014 -You grabbed me in the car. -Oh, that? No. 102 00:07:43,189 --> 00:07:46,523 I was grabbing a Gummi Venus de Milo that got stuck to your pants. 103 00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:50,520 Yeah, right. That's the oldest excuse in the book. 104 00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:53,151 Come on. I'm a decent guy. 105 00:07:59,581 --> 00:08:02,334 Why would anybody wanna touch a girl's butt? 106 00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:04,162 That's where cooties come from. 107 00:08:04,336 --> 00:08:06,578 I don't understand. What is she saying you did? 108 00:08:06,797 --> 00:08:09,751 Lisa, remember that postcard Grampa sent us from Florida... 109 00:08:09,925 --> 00:08:12,215 ...of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? 110 00:08:12,386 --> 00:08:15,056 Oh, yeah. That was brilliant. 111 00:08:15,222 --> 00:08:17,548 That's right. We all thought it was hilarious. 112 00:08:17,725 --> 00:08:19,469 But it turns out we were wrong. 113 00:08:19,644 --> 00:08:22,562 That alligator was sexually harassing that woman. 114 00:08:22,772 --> 00:08:24,848 And the dog in the Coppertone ad? Same deal? 115 00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:26,727 Well, that's kind of a gray area. 116 00:08:26,943 --> 00:08:29,612 -We know you're innocent, Dad. -Thanks, kids. 117 00:08:29,821 --> 00:08:33,154 They seem to be building some sort of a shantytown. 118 00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:43,410 Do your worst, protesters. You can't stop me from living my life. 119 00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:47,912 -No respect for women. No peace. -Try to push the right buttons now. 120 00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:50,581 We ain't crazy about nuclear power either! 121 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,586 You people aren't allowed in here. 122 00:08:52,761 --> 00:08:55,466 It's okay. They're with me. 123 00:09:03,522 --> 00:09:04,768 They're ruining my whole life. 124 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:07,266 Marge, please. this is where I need you the most. 125 00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:11,026 I'm counting on you to do something or say something to make it all better. 126 00:09:11,197 --> 00:09:14,067 -Okay. Go. -Homer-- 127 00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:18,035 I talked to the indignation coordinator out on the lawn today. 128 00:09:18,204 --> 00:09:20,577 I said you were a decent man. She wouldn't listen. 129 00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:24,082 Besides standing by you and supporting you, there's nothing I can do. 130 00:09:24,252 --> 00:09:26,079 You mean, I'm on my own? 131 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,206 I've never been on my own. Oh, no. 132 00:09:28,381 --> 00:09:32,842 On own. On own. I need help. Oh, God, help me. 133 00:09:33,053 --> 00:09:35,544 Help me, God! 134 00:09:39,684 --> 00:09:44,145 -Hello? -Hello, Homer, this is God... 135 00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:47,185 ...Frey Jones from the TV magazine show Rock Bottom. 136 00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:51,650 We're aware of your problems, and, Mr. Simpson, we want to help. 137 00:09:52,406 --> 00:09:57,033 I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed. 138 00:09:57,203 --> 00:09:58,531 I'll do it. 139 00:09:58,746 --> 00:10:00,905 Somebody had to take the babysitter home. 140 00:10:01,082 --> 00:10:05,127 Then I noticed she was sitting on the Gummi Venus, so I grabbed it off her. 141 00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:10,289 Oh, just thinking about that sweet, sweet candy... 142 00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:15,503 I just wish I had another one right now. 143 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:18,717 -But the most important thing is-- -That was great, Mr. Simpson. 144 00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:20,511 -We got everything we need. -Okay. 145 00:10:20,685 --> 00:10:22,927 Say, can you introduce me to the Sasquatch? 146 00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:24,646 I like his style. 147 00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:32,030 Here comes the bouncing ball of justice. 148 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:33,775 Tonight on Rock Bottom: 149 00:10:33,990 --> 00:10:37,490 We go undercover at a sex farm for sex bonkers. 150 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:41,072 I keep telling you, ”us! grow sorghum here. 151 00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:44,292 -And where are the hookers? -Around back. 152 00:10:45,336 --> 00:10:48,954 But first, she was a university honors student who devoted her life to kids. 153 00:10:49,131 --> 00:10:52,880 Until the night a grossly overweight pervert named Homer Simpson... 154 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:55,757 ...gave her a crash course in depravity. 155 00:10:55,930 --> 00:10:57,805 "Babysitter and the Beast." 156 00:10:58,015 --> 00:10:59,593 Oh, crap. 157 00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:01,968 Somebody bad to take the babysitter home, 158 00:11:02,145 --> 00:11:04,684 Then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can- 159 00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:06,642 I grabbed her sweet can- 160 00:11:06,816 --> 00:11:09,058 Oh, just thinking about her can- 161 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,438 [just wish I had her sweet, sweet, sweet can. 162 00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:15,693 So, Mr. Simpson, you admit you grabbed her can. 163 00:11:15,867 --> 00:11:17,742 What do you have to say in your defense? 164 00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:22,366 Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. 165 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:26,582 No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me. Get back. Get back! 166 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:30,005 -Mr. Simpson, no! -Dramatization: may not have happened. 167 00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:36,179 Marge, kids. everything's gonna be just fine. 168 00:11:36,346 --> 00:11:38,553 Now go upstairs and pack your bags. 169 00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:42,889 We're gonna start a new life under the sea. 170 00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:57,322 Under the sea 171 00:11:57,493 --> 00:12:00,163 Under the sea 172 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,531 There'll be no accusations 173 00:12:02,707 --> 00:12:09,327 Just friendly crustaceans Under the sea 174 00:12:18,974 --> 00:12:22,889 That's your solution to everything, to move under the sea. It won't happen. 175 00:12:23,353 --> 00:12:25,145 Not with that attitude. 176 00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:27,930 Look, maybe this whole thing will blow over. 177 00:12:32,946 --> 00:12:36,613 It didn't blow over, Marge. Nothing ever blows over for me. 178 00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:53,378 Simpson scandal update. 179 00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:57,467 Home! sleeps nude in an oxygen tent he believes gives him sexual powers. 180 00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:59,964 Hey, that's a half-truth. 181 00:13:01,392 --> 00:13:03,100 I don't know Homer Simpson. 182 00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:07,434 I never me! Homer Simpson or had any contact with him, but- 183 00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:12,066 PM sorry, I can“! go on. 184 00:13:12,279 --> 00:13:16,194 That's okay. Your tears say more than real evidence ever could. 185 00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:18,279 Today on Ben: 186 00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:23,114 Mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. 187 00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:27,241 And here's your host, Gentle Ben. 188 00:13:33,008 --> 00:13:34,467 just have one thing to say. 189 00:13:34,677 --> 00:13:38,842 Let's have less Home! Simpsons and more money for public schools. 190 00:13:40,391 --> 00:13:42,681 Ben, I have a question. 191 00:13:44,395 --> 00:13:46,471 Nu, Ben. Nu. 192 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,525 And now we return to Fox Night at the Movies. 193 00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:03,285 Homer 5.2 Portrait of an Ass-Grabber. Starring Dennis Franz. 194 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,659 Portrait. Sounds classy. 195 00:14:07,878 --> 00:14:09,420 Doesn't it? 196 00:14:20,474 --> 00:14:22,965 No, Mr. Simpson. A cat is a living creature. 197 00:14:23,143 --> 00:14:24,721 I don't care. 198 00:14:28,774 --> 00:14:32,026 Now I'm gonna grab me something sweet. 199 00:14:32,236 --> 00:14:34,443 No, Mr. Simpson. That's sexual harassment. 200 00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:37,781 If you keep it up, I'll yell so loud, the whole country will hear. 201 00:14:38,868 --> 00:14:41,703 With a man in the White House? 202 00:14:41,871 --> 00:14:43,947 Not likely. 203 00:14:48,044 --> 00:14:51,164 This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage... 204 00:14:51,339 --> 00:14:52,798 ...outside the Simpson estate. 205 00:14:52,966 --> 00:14:56,300 Remember to tune in tonight at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil... 206 00:14:56,469 --> 00:14:58,380 ...including when the garbage man came... 207 00:14:58,555 --> 00:15:00,714 ...and when Marge Simpson put the cat out. 208 00:15:00,891 --> 00:15:03,560 Possibly because it was harassed. We don't know. 209 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:05,928 There's no way to see into the Simpson home... 210 00:15:06,104 --> 00:15:09,142 without some kind of infrared, heat-sensitive camera. 211 00:15:09,316 --> 00:15:11,309 So let's turn it on. 212 00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:13,567 Now, this technology is new to me... 213 00:15:13,737 --> 00:15:16,490 ...but I'm pretty sure that's Hume! Simpson in the oven... 214 00:15:16,657 --> 00:15:21,237 ...rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees. 215 00:15:21,412 --> 00:15:23,618 He's literally slewing in his own juices. 216 00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:26,156 Now here are some results from our phone-in poll. 217 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:29,585 Ninety-five percent of the people believe Hume! Simpson is guilty. 218 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,830 Of course, this is just a television pa"... 219 00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:35,423 ...which is not legally binding, unless Proposition 304 passes. 220 00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:36,970 And we all may it will. 221 00:15:38,054 --> 00:15:40,973 I don't have a friend in the world. 222 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,430 -Let us through. -We're Homer's true friends. 223 00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,428 Oh, really? 224 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:50,474 -Come on, let us through, you vultures. -Oh, Marge. It's a miracle. 225 00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:52,187 How can you judge this man... 226 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,065 ...without talking to the people who know him best? 227 00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:58,821 We got the real dirt on Homer Simpson, and the bidding starts at 10 G's. 228 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,737 -I bid 10 G's. -Ten-five G's. 229 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,873 I need a hug. 230 00:16:10,963 --> 00:16:12,754 How come you guys hesitated? 231 00:16:12,965 --> 00:16:15,456 Sorry, Dad. We do believe in you. We really do. 232 00:16:15,634 --> 00:16:17,296 It's just hard not to listen to TV. 233 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:19,843 It's spent so much more time raising us than you. 234 00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:22,633 Maybe TV is right. 235 00:16:22,809 --> 00:16:24,849 TV's always right. 236 00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:34,773 Are you hugging the TV? 237 00:16:34,946 --> 00:16:36,441 -No. -No. 238 00:16:43,163 --> 00:16:47,873 And the number one reference that I am running into the ground is: 239 00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:50,209 Homer Simpson. 240 00:16:57,302 --> 00:16:59,047 ls Homer Simpson. 241 00:17:04,268 --> 00:17:07,804 I like it better when they're making fun of people who aren't me. 242 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:09,772 I know. Evening at the Improv. 243 00:17:09,940 --> 00:17:12,266 They never talk about anything beyond the 19805. 244 00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:14,189 I think about weird stuff. 245 00:17:14,362 --> 00:17:17,399 Like, what would happen if E.T. and Mr. T had a baby? 246 00:17:17,573 --> 00:17:19,649 Well, you'd get Mr. E.T., wouldn't you? 247 00:17:19,826 --> 00:17:23,278 And, you know, I think he'd sound a little something like this: 248 00:17:23,454 --> 00:17:27,286 "I pity the fool who doesn't phone home." 249 00:17:28,918 --> 00:17:30,959 I wouldn't wanna be Mr. T right now. 250 00:17:31,129 --> 00:17:34,878 Homer. Homer, the kids have a great idea how you can clear your name. 251 00:17:35,091 --> 00:17:37,927 The media's making you a monster because they don't care about truth. 252 00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:39,886 All they care about is entertainment. 253 00:17:40,055 --> 00:17:43,342 You need a forum where they don't know the meaning of entertainment: 254 00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:45,593 Public access television. 255 00:17:46,019 --> 00:17:49,472 -But those shows all look so crummy. -Well, we could dress it up a bit. 256 00:17:49,690 --> 00:17:52,810 We can bring a fern, and a folding chair from the garage... 257 00:17:52,985 --> 00:17:55,939 ...and the most decorative thing of all, the truth. 258 00:18:03,996 --> 00:18:06,749 There are only 49 stars on that flag. 259 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:11,003 I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri. 260 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,414 Now it's time for The Innocence Report“. 261 00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:18,301 ...with Homer Simpson. 262 00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:22,005 Hello. I am Homer Simpson. 263 00:18:22,182 --> 00:18:25,883 Or, as some of you wags have dubbed me, “Father Goose.“ 264 00:18:26,686 --> 00:18:30,139 You know, everybody believed the worst about me right away. 265 00:18:30,315 --> 00:18:32,391 Nobody cares that I didn't do it. 266 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:33,896 But I didn't. 267 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,904 Okay, look, I've done some bad things in my life. 268 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:40,026 But harassing women is not one of them. 269 00:18:40,242 --> 00:18:44,193 Like one time, we were having this race with this stupid, old-timey bicycle... 270 00:18:44,371 --> 00:18:45,866 ...with the big wheel in front. 271 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,116 So I figure, “We'll see about that.“ 272 00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:51,791 So I get this big chunk of cinderblock, and I-- 273 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,417 Oh, gotta go. 274 00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:55,966 Innocent. 275 00:18:56,175 --> 00:18:58,584 Dad, you did it. I am so proud of you. 276 00:18:58,761 --> 00:19:01,336 The switchboards are lighting up. 277 00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:04,346 Two calls. That's our best ever. 278 00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:06,807 Hello? No, Janice doesn't live here. 279 00:19:06,978 --> 00:19:10,477 Hello? Yes, I am interested in long-distance savings. 280 00:19:10,648 --> 00:19:12,724 Very interested. 281 00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:18,777 Marge, this is so depressing. 282 00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:22,650 My only hope is this homemade Prozac. 283 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,736 Needs more ice cream. 284 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,620 So you don't like the old-time bikes, huh? 285 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,095 Homer, I love amateur video. 286 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:43,631 And your show is the most amateur video I ever saw. 287 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:47,805 My hubby is secretly videotaping couples in cars. 288 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,980 I didn't come forward because in this country... 289 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,106 ...it makes you look like a pervert. 290 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,853 But every single Scottish person does it! 291 00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:01,526 Oh, baby. Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. 292 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,534 Oh, no. That's Mayor Quimby. 293 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,704 Here we go. 294 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,531 Precious Venus. 295 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,330 Thank you. 296 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,051 Dad, this clears you completely. 297 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,378 You know, the courts might not work anymore... 298 00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:24,473 ...but as long as everybody is videotaping everyone else... 299 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,682 ...justice will be done. 300 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:30,178 See? 301 00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:32,814 Homer, I thought you were an animal. 302 00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,107 But your daughter said you were a decent man. 303 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,694 -I guess she was right. -You're both right. 304 00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,194 In our mad pursuit of a scoop... 305 00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:46,076 we members of the press sometimes make mistakes. 306 00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:48,952 Rock Bottom would like to make the following corrections: 307 00:20:51,461 --> 00:20:54,213 Wow, V8 juice isn't one-eighth gasoline. 308 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:58,592 -And Ted Koppel is a robot. -There's you, Dad. 309 00:21:00,178 --> 00:21:02,088 Tomorrow on Rock Bottom. 310 00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:06,682 He's a foreigner who takes perverted videos of you when you least suspect it. 311 00:21:06,851 --> 00:21:09,141 He's "Rowdy Roddy Peeper". 312 00:21:11,022 --> 00:21:12,730 Oh, that man is sick. 313 00:21:12,899 --> 00:21:14,810 Groundskeeper Willie saved you, Homer. 314 00:21:14,985 --> 00:21:17,275 But listen to the music. He's evil. 315 00:21:17,446 --> 00:21:20,898 Hasn't this experience taught you you can't believe everything you hear? 316 00:21:21,074 --> 00:21:25,488 Marge, my friend, I haven't learned a thing. 317 00:21:32,753 --> 00:21:35,541 Let's never fight again.