1 00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:07,409 " The Simpsons " 2 00:00:15,555 --> 00:00:17,716 D'oh! 3 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,268 Oh, they're gonna eat this up in show-and-tell. 4 00:01:03,369 --> 00:01:05,530 I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea... 5 00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:08,766 of your classmates laughing at our family's private moments. 6 00:01:08,875 --> 00:01:11,036 How would you like it if 20 years from now... 7 00:01:11,144 --> 00:01:13,203 people were laughing at things you did? 8 00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:17,272 Not likely. Come on. Have a sense of humor about yourself. 9 00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:20,113 I'm a big boy today. 10 00:01:22,388 --> 00:01:25,118 I gotta find something else quick. 11 00:01:25,225 --> 00:01:28,285 Why don't you bring this potato? It's pretty big. 12 00:01:28,394 --> 00:01:30,692 Mom, you're always trying to give me potatoes. 13 00:01:30,797 --> 00:01:33,664 - What is it with you? - I just think they're neat. 14 00:01:33,766 --> 00:01:36,098 I need something for show-and-tell. 15 00:01:36,202 --> 00:01:38,796 Just take one of my geodes. 16 00:01:38,905 --> 00:01:41,373 The rocks on my desk. 17 00:01:41,474 --> 00:01:44,602 No, that's a trilobite. 18 00:01:44,711 --> 00:01:47,805 That's petrified wood. 19 00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:50,474 Bart, that's a bran muffin.! 20 00:01:56,723 --> 00:01:59,749 Greetings, fellow geode-ologist. 21 00:01:59,859 --> 00:02:03,260 I'll be right back! 22 00:02:10,236 --> 00:02:14,696 The ingredients were fresh pureed tomatoes... 23 00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:20,268 water, salt and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage. 24 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:23,645 Once again, if I'm not mistaken... 25 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:26,878 this can contained tomato paste. 26 00:02:26,986 --> 00:02:31,548 Thank you, Nelson. I look forward to seeing it again next week. 27 00:02:31,658 --> 00:02:33,717 Bart,you're up. 28 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,121 Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel... 29 00:02:39,232 --> 00:02:41,530 I come before you today to solve a riddle... 30 00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:44,000 that has plagued mankind for centuries. 31 00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:47,004 What has four legs and ticks? 32 00:02:47,106 --> 00:02:49,768 - A walking clock? - A walking clock! 33 00:02:49,876 --> 00:02:52,845 I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box. 34 00:02:52,946 --> 00:02:55,073 Bart, is it a walking clock? 35 00:02:55,181 --> 00:02:57,172 What? No, it's my dog. 36 00:02:57,283 --> 00:03:00,684 Oh, he is a gem! 37 00:03:00,787 --> 00:03:05,190 Here, boy. Would you like these cookies Martin made for me? 38 00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:07,350 My raisin roundies! 39 00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,860 My dog's name is Santa's Little Helper. 40 00:03:09,963 --> 00:03:13,660 One time he crawled under the house, and when he came out, he was covered with ants. 41 00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:17,031 - Then he ran into a church and drank all the holy water. - - Wow! 42 00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:19,764 Thank you, Bart. Great job. 43 00:03:21,874 --> 00:03:24,502 I knew the dog before he came to class. 44 00:03:29,449 --> 00:03:33,909 Kaboom! That, the sound of the thunderous volcanic explosion... 45 00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:38,423 which gives birth to the magnificent geode, one of nature's most-- 46 00:03:38,524 --> 00:03:42,460 You're doing it wrong.! You gotta pet him hard so he can feel it. 47 00:03:44,564 --> 00:03:46,691 Look, look, look! The doggy sneezed! 48 00:03:46,799 --> 00:03:49,359 Ha! It thinks it's people. 49 00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:51,699 Oh, smoochie. Here, poochie, poochie, poochie! 50 00:03:54,907 --> 00:03:57,467 My geode must be acknowledged. 51 00:03:57,577 --> 00:04:01,069 Oh, brother. All right. Back to show-and-tell. 52 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,375 Bart, why don't you put the doggy away? 53 00:04:17,964 --> 00:04:20,364 Mmm. 54 00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:24,163 More testicles mean more iron. 55 00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:35,246 Uh, Miss Hoover, there's a dog in the vent. 56 00:04:35,348 --> 00:04:38,647 Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside? 57 00:04:38,751 --> 00:04:40,878 He was going to the bathroom. 58 00:04:42,622 --> 00:04:46,524 Uh, I-I know Weinstein's parents were upset, Superintendent... 59 00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:48,958 but I-I was sure it was a phony excuse. 60 00:04:49,062 --> 00:04:50,896 I mean, it sounds so made-up. ''Yom Kip Pur.'' 61 00:04:57,637 --> 00:05:00,197 Sir, you've got to come quick! 62 00:05:00,306 --> 00:05:03,639 There's a dog runnin' around in the air ducts! 63 00:05:03,743 --> 00:05:06,268 I understand. Children, this is Principal Skinner. 64 00:05:06,379 --> 00:05:09,746 Remain calm. There is a dog in the vents. 65 00:05:22,762 --> 00:05:25,322 Willie, go into the vent and get him! 66 00:05:25,431 --> 00:05:28,628 What? Have you gone waxy in your ''beester''? 67 00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:32,227 I cannot fit in the wee vent, ya croquet-playin' mint muncher! 68 00:05:32,338 --> 00:05:34,772 Grease yourself up and go in, you-- 69 00:05:34,874 --> 00:05:36,842 you guff-speaking work slacker. 70 00:05:36,943 --> 00:05:39,173 Ooh, good comeback. 71 00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:42,111 Lunch Lady Doris, have you got any grease? 72 00:05:42,215 --> 00:05:45,275 - Yes. Yes, we do. - Then grease me up, woman! 73 00:05:45,384 --> 00:05:47,215 Okeydokey. 74 00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:13,778 Good Lord! It's coming up right behind him! 75 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,316 What the-- No! No! 76 00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:29,128 Ow! Ow! Stop it! 77 00:06:29,228 --> 00:06:30,320 Children, teachers, back to your rooms. 78 00:06:30,429 --> 00:06:32,420 Uh-oh. Whenever I get this upset, I get hiccups. 79 00:06:32,532 --> 00:06:34,432 Oh, right on cue. 80 00:06:51,884 --> 00:06:55,581 There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. 81 00:06:55,688 --> 00:06:58,851 Now, out we go. 82 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:05,590 'Tis more dizzyin' than the belfry at St. Corgegluynwaagen's. 83 00:07:09,735 --> 00:07:12,203 That's nice work, boys. 84 00:07:12,305 --> 00:07:14,500 Uh-oh.! 85 00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:18,543 Someone's getting a visit from Superintendent Chalmers. 86 00:07:18,644 --> 00:07:23,047 - I... can't... - take... this. 87 00:07:23,149 --> 00:07:26,141 - Skinner! - Superintendent Chalmers... 88 00:07:26,252 --> 00:07:28,516 you didn't have to come all the way down here. 89 00:07:28,621 --> 00:07:31,419 Everything's under control. 90 00:07:31,524 --> 00:07:35,392 Oh, I have had it! I have had it with this school, Skinner! 91 00:07:35,528 --> 00:07:39,624 The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children! 92 00:07:39,732 --> 00:07:42,030 Oh, now I really think the children's appearance-- 93 00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:44,694 Seymour,you are in very, very big trouble. 94 00:07:47,073 --> 00:07:51,100 Why, looking into this loveable mutt's eyes just melts my heart. 95 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,940 Seymour, all is forgiven. 96 00:07:54,046 --> 00:07:57,447 Make way for Willie.! 97 00:07:57,550 --> 00:08:01,179 I said make way for Willie, ya bloated gasbag! 98 00:08:01,287 --> 00:08:03,118 - Seymour. - Hmm? 99 00:08:03,222 --> 00:08:04,917 You're fired! 100 00:08:05,024 --> 00:08:08,585 I'm sorry. Did-- Did you just call me a liar? 101 00:08:08,694 --> 00:08:12,186 - No. I said you were fired. - Oh. That's much worse. 102 00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:25,140 I thought I'd be jumping for joy the day Skinner left... 103 00:08:25,244 --> 00:08:29,704 but now all I have is this weird, hot feeling in the back of my head. 104 00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:34,115 That's guilt. You feel guilty because your stunt wound up costing a man his job. 105 00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,279 Yeah, I guess it is guilt. 106 00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:41,624 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me get this straight. 107 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:45,527 They let everybody out of school early just because you brought a dog? 108 00:08:45,631 --> 00:08:48,259 - Well, yeah, but-- - Well, I'm off to work. 109 00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:50,892 - The dog has had enough excitement. - But, Marge... 110 00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:53,267 dogs can never have enough excitement. 111 00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,567 Look. Whee! Whee! 112 00:08:55,675 --> 00:08:58,303 Whee, whee! 113 00:08:58,411 --> 00:09:01,972 All right, all right. I won't take the dog. Come here. 114 00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:03,912 Aw. 115 00:09:05,851 --> 00:09:08,820 Boys and girls, because of Mr. Skinner's sudden departure... 116 00:09:08,921 --> 00:09:11,583 I've had to appoint a new principal. 117 00:09:11,691 --> 00:09:14,091 Leopold. 118 00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:18,687 All right, you little punks. Prick up your freakin' ears... 119 00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:21,266 because I'm only gonna be saying this once. 120 00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:27,272 From now on, things are gonna be very, very different around here-- 121 00:09:27,373 --> 00:09:30,831 with your new principal, Ned Flanders. 122 00:09:33,779 --> 00:09:36,441 Well, tippity-top o' the a.m. to every-good-body here. 123 00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:40,041 As chairman of the P.T.A., I am de-didilly-lighted to take over... 124 00:09:40,152 --> 00:09:42,620 and I think I can put the ''pal'' back in principal. 125 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:49,356 Yeah, and I'll put the ''super'' back in superintendent. 126 00:09:52,231 --> 00:09:54,756 It's the same exact joke. What gives, Leo? 127 00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:58,928 - Now, I know everybody's eager to get back to class-- - Ha.! 128 00:09:59,038 --> 00:10:02,405 but I thought it might break the ice if we had a little ''Q'' and ''A.'' 129 00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:10,581 - Dude, ask a question, or we'll have to go back to class. - Um-- 130 00:10:10,683 --> 00:10:12,412 - Yeah, you. - Uh, yeah. 131 00:10:12,518 --> 00:10:16,045 Uh, I was wonderin', do you, uh-- 132 00:10:16,155 --> 00:10:20,489 What's your policy on, uh, lunch? 133 00:10:20,593 --> 00:10:24,996 Well, let me just say I want to put the ''stu'' back in students. 134 00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:32,097 It's just a damn popularity contest with you kids. 135 00:10:32,204 --> 00:10:35,435 Now look what you've done, you little freaks! 136 00:10:38,811 --> 00:10:41,371 Young man, your gargantuan cone... 137 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,040 is making a mockery of our self-serve policy. 138 00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:46,710 Bart, look. It's Principal Skinner... 139 00:10:46,819 --> 00:10:48,719 and I think he's gone crazy. 140 00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:51,949 He's not wearing a suit or tie or anything. 141 00:10:52,058 --> 00:10:54,686 Principal Skinner, um... 142 00:10:54,794 --> 00:10:57,729 I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired... 143 00:10:57,830 --> 00:11:01,596 and biting you and then getting it on with your leg. 144 00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,533 Well, maybe it was for the best. 145 00:11:04,637 --> 00:11:09,870 Now I-- I finally have time to do what I've always wanted-- write the great American novel. 146 00:11:09,975 --> 00:11:12,705 Mine is about a futuristic amusement park... 147 00:11:12,812 --> 00:11:17,272 where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. 148 00:11:17,383 --> 00:11:19,977 I call it Billy and the Clone-osaurus. 149 00:11:20,086 --> 00:11:21,986 Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. 150 00:11:22,088 --> 00:11:24,579 First you think of an idea that has already been done. 151 00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:28,057 Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? 152 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,219 ...on the best-seller list for 1 8 months! 153 00:11:30,329 --> 00:11:31,819 Every magazine cover had it! 154 00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:34,126 ...most popular movies of all time, sir! 155 00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:36,599 What were you thinking? 156 00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:38,602 I mean, thank you. Come again. 157 00:11:42,541 --> 00:11:45,009 Bart, I've barely been here a-a good solid week... 158 00:11:45,111 --> 00:11:47,807 and you've been sent to my office 1 1 times. 159 00:11:47,913 --> 00:11:51,872 Now that I have peanut butter cups, you seem to be getting in trouble every hour. 160 00:11:51,984 --> 00:11:53,781 Must have been a coincidence. 161 00:11:53,886 --> 00:11:56,411 Anyhoo, Bart, you're gonna have to be punished. 162 00:11:56,522 --> 00:11:59,457 This isn't just some sort of clubhouse. 163 00:11:59,558 --> 00:12:02,186 Oh, sorry. Were you drinking Slice or Yoo-hoo? 164 00:12:02,294 --> 00:12:07,357 Well, let's see. ''Tide. Cheer. 165 00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:11,163 ''Bold. Biz. 166 00:12:11,270 --> 00:12:17,038 Fab. All. Gain. Wisk.'' 167 00:12:17,143 --> 00:12:21,512 I believe today I will try... Bold. 168 00:12:21,614 --> 00:12:24,640 Bart, how are you? How's school? 169 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:28,982 Um, it's-- it's a lot of fun. 170 00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:31,215 Hmm. 171 00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:34,918 Well, it was good to see you. 172 00:12:35,027 --> 00:12:37,291 It was? Well, then we should get together again. 173 00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:39,557 Say, Saturday at my house. Do you know where I live? 174 00:12:39,665 --> 00:12:41,860 Uh, no. 175 00:12:44,837 --> 00:12:48,170 Hmm. A flaming bag, eh? 176 00:12:48,274 --> 00:12:52,040 Well, these new Italian loafers will make short work of it. 177 00:12:52,144 --> 00:12:55,341 Uh, I'm kinda busy on Saturday. 178 00:12:55,447 --> 00:12:57,540 Hey! 179 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,084 We got Skinner's underpants! 180 00:13:00,186 --> 00:13:03,781 And there's nothing you can do about it, Mr. Ex-principal. 181 00:13:03,889 --> 00:13:06,949 That's not true. I can buy a new pair. 182 00:13:07,059 --> 00:13:10,620 No, I can't. I needed those. I really did. 183 00:13:18,404 --> 00:13:21,532 Oh, you must be Seymour's friend. 184 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,803 He's up in his room. Don't touch the wallpaper. 185 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,311 ( Beethoven's 5th Symphony) - " Ba-ba-ba-bum " 186 00:13:28,414 --> 00:13:31,110 " Ba-ba-ba-bum " 187 00:13:31,217 --> 00:13:33,811 Now a little more allegro than last time. Bart! 188 00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:35,819 Welcome. 189 00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:38,116 Can I offer you a diet caffeine-free Dr. Pepper... 190 00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:40,624 or an individual fruit cocktail cup? 191 00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:43,661 Uh, I'll pass. Hey, what's this? 192 00:13:43,762 --> 00:13:46,663 Oh, that's my old unit from Vietnam. 193 00:13:46,765 --> 00:13:49,700 I was their sergeant. They were my loyal troops. 194 00:13:49,802 --> 00:13:52,566 That photo was taken shortly before I was shot in the back... 195 00:13:52,671 --> 00:13:55,834 which was very strange because it was during a Bob Hope show. 196 00:13:55,941 --> 00:13:59,138 I was trying to getJoey Heatherton to put on some pants, for God's sake! 197 00:13:59,245 --> 00:14:02,840 - Seymour,your friend Bart is here.! - I know, Mother! 198 00:14:02,948 --> 00:14:07,851 - Seymour, do you want me to tell you when it's 7.:30? - No, Mother! 199 00:14:11,724 --> 00:14:14,693 Ned Flanders actually eliminated detention... 200 00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:17,956 and put the whole school on the honor system? 201 00:14:18,063 --> 00:14:21,624 Yeah. The teachers are afraid to leave the faculty lounge. 202 00:14:23,902 --> 00:14:27,099 Oh, that place must be falling apart. 203 00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:32,041 Oh, mercy. Nobody's mentioned me, have they? 204 00:14:32,144 --> 00:14:35,773 Uh, I thought I heard someone say your name in the cafeteria... 205 00:14:35,881 --> 00:14:39,214 - but they might have been saying ''skim milk.'' - Yeah, yeah. 206 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,422 Hmm. 207 00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:43,717 Hmm. 208 00:14:49,728 --> 00:14:50,695 I thought you might like this restaurant, Bart. 209 00:14:50,796 --> 00:14:53,594 They'll make a pizza pie with a topping of your choice. 210 00:14:53,699 --> 00:14:57,692 - Hey, Seymour! You want your usual table? - No, no, Luigi. 211 00:14:57,803 --> 00:15:01,432 I'd like one with two seats. I'll be dining with a friend tonight. 212 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:04,509 Hey, good for you, huh? 213 00:15:06,845 --> 00:15:09,177 Hmm. They treat you real nice here. 214 00:15:09,281 --> 00:15:11,340 Hey, Salvatore, guess who's here! 215 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,578 Mr. Kookalamanza and-a some real ugly kid. 216 00:15:22,494 --> 00:15:25,429 This is great! Not only am I not learnin'... 217 00:15:25,531 --> 00:15:27,931 I'm forgettin' stuff I used to know. 218 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:30,627 And it's all thanks to you, Bart. 219 00:15:30,736 --> 00:15:33,705 - Yeah, great. - What's the matter? 220 00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:36,741 Don't you see, Milhouse? We've gone too far. 221 00:15:36,842 --> 00:15:40,869 - We need Skinner back. - My water dish is empty! 222 00:15:46,618 --> 00:15:49,644 I learned to read because of you, Principal Skinner. 223 00:15:49,755 --> 00:15:52,121 Sir, I baked you these raisin roundies. 224 00:15:52,224 --> 00:15:55,785 Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office. 225 00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:07,469 Oh, you're Seymour's friend. Here. He left you this note. 226 00:16:07,573 --> 00:16:09,473 Dear Bart... 227 00:16:09,575 --> 00:16:12,442 Your friendship during this difficult time will not be forgotten. 228 00:16:12,544 --> 00:16:15,035 However, I've decided to return to the only thing besides school... 229 00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:17,047 that has ever given my life meaning-- 230 00:16:17,149 --> 00:16:20,141 I've reenlisted in the United States Army. 231 00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:23,119 Sincerely, Sergeant Seymour Skinner. 232 00:16:27,693 --> 00:16:29,593 Table for one. 233 00:16:29,695 --> 00:16:32,789 Oh, you miss your friend, huh? Don't you worry. 234 00:16:32,898 --> 00:16:35,833 My cooking, she'll-a cheer you up. 235 00:16:35,934 --> 00:16:40,564 Hey, Salvatore, give-a the ugly kid a plate of red crap.! 236 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:47,474 It's good to have another combat veteran around here. 237 00:16:47,579 --> 00:16:49,877 I myself received a number of medals... 238 00:16:49,982 --> 00:16:52,951 for securing that Montgomery Ward in Kuwait City. 239 00:16:53,051 --> 00:16:55,542 Mm, yes, Colonel. Now, I understand it'll be my duty... 240 00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:59,249 to mold the new recruits into a well-disciplined, highly trained infantry unit. 241 00:16:59,358 --> 00:17:02,384 Sure, I guess. Here they come. 242 00:17:06,031 --> 00:17:08,056 Hi. Where do I get my grenades at? 243 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:10,829 Uh, they don't have them group toilets here no more, do they? 244 00:17:14,173 --> 00:17:18,166 Ned, Homer and I are a little concerned with the way the school's being run. 245 00:17:18,277 --> 00:17:20,802 Yes, deeply concerned. 246 00:17:20,913 --> 00:17:24,076 Well, I may go a little bit easy on the old hickory dickory stick... 247 00:17:24,183 --> 00:17:28,176 but that's just because my dad was so hard on me when I was a boy. 248 00:17:32,024 --> 00:17:34,322 Whoopsy-doodle. 249 00:17:34,426 --> 00:17:38,988 Oh, man! Ned spilled ink all over my poems! 250 00:17:39,097 --> 00:17:42,430 He's a real flat tire. I mean a cube, man. 251 00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:45,435 He's putting us on the train to Squaresville, Mona. 252 00:17:48,173 --> 00:17:50,073 Hmm? 253 00:17:50,175 --> 00:17:52,735 " I met a woman in Paris, France " 254 00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:55,211 " Had a big hole in her underpants " 255 00:17:55,314 --> 00:17:57,475 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did you pick up that filth? 256 00:17:57,583 --> 00:18:00,211 We heard Sergeant Clark's company singing it, sir. 257 00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:02,787 Yes, well, there will be no smut in my company. 258 00:18:02,888 --> 00:18:05,118 You're in this man's army to learn. 259 00:18:05,224 --> 00:18:07,454 " I don't know, but I've been told " 260 00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:09,618 "The Parthenon is mighty old " 261 00:18:09,728 --> 00:18:11,992 - " How old " - "We don't know " 262 00:18:12,097 --> 00:18:14,657 "That's real good but needs improvement " 263 00:18:22,407 --> 00:18:25,638 Wow, I never thought Principal Skinner could become any more of a square... 264 00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,644 - but there's the proof. - It's weird, Lise. 265 00:18:27,746 --> 00:18:31,113 I miss him as a friend, but I miss him even more as an enemy. 266 00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:34,879 I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis. 267 00:18:34,987 --> 00:18:37,080 Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty. 268 00:18:37,189 --> 00:18:39,089 Mountain Dew has its Mello Yello. 269 00:18:39,191 --> 00:18:41,386 Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow. 270 00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:02,575 Man on the range! Change your trajectory! 271 00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:06,807 Sixteen brand-new gas pumps! 272 00:19:06,919 --> 00:19:09,888 At last we can compete with the Gas-N-Gulp. 273 00:19:13,926 --> 00:19:17,862 If there was some way to get rid of Flanders, would you want to come back? 274 00:19:17,963 --> 00:19:20,158 Ah, I must admit I do miss the school. 275 00:19:20,265 --> 00:19:24,167 Frankly, the army isn't quite as I remembered it. 276 00:19:24,269 --> 00:19:26,669 Up yours, Sergeant! 277 00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:28,831 Actually, it's exactly as I remembered it. 278 00:19:28,941 --> 00:19:31,409 I do want to come back, Bart... 279 00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:34,479 but it doesn't sound like Flanders is gonna get fired. 280 00:19:34,580 --> 00:19:37,276 Oh, I think I could get him fired. 281 00:19:37,382 --> 00:19:40,249 I got you fired, didn't I? 282 00:19:40,352 --> 00:19:44,686 Yes. Now, you realize if I become principal again... 283 00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:48,658 we can no longer be friends, unless you become a good student. 284 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,593 Hmm. That's probably never gonna happen. 285 00:19:51,697 --> 00:19:56,862 - Well, we'll always have the Laundromat. - Yeah. 286 00:19:59,271 --> 00:20:01,136 What's he doing here? 287 00:20:01,239 --> 00:20:04,509 Once he found out we were gonna get Ned Flanders fired, he insisted on helping. 288 00:20:09,648 --> 00:20:11,616 - That is true. - Here's the plan. 289 00:20:11,717 --> 00:20:13,844 Once Chalmers comes for his next inspection and sees how crappy the school has gotten... 290 00:20:13,952 --> 00:20:16,045 he'll fire Ned on the spot. 291 00:20:16,154 --> 00:20:18,850 Uh, one question remains: How do I get out of the army? 292 00:20:18,957 --> 00:20:21,721 No problemo.Just make a pass at your commanding officer. 293 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:25,126 Done and done. And I mean done. 294 00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:27,130 What's going on in there? 295 00:20:27,232 --> 00:20:30,167 Nothing. 296 00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:40,003 Come on, Chalmie. You fired Skinner for less than this. 297 00:20:40,112 --> 00:20:43,138 Yeah, I did, but Skinner really bugged me. 298 00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:46,012 Besides, the way America's public schools are sliding... 299 00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:48,143 they'll all be this way in a few months. 300 00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:50,813 I say lay back and enjoy it. It's a hell of a toboggan ride. 301 00:20:50,922 --> 00:20:53,015 Well, cockilly-doodilly-do, little buddies. 302 00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:57,323 Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful school day. 303 00:20:57,429 --> 00:21:01,661 Thank the Lor-- Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. 304 00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:05,066 A prayer! A prayer in a public school! 305 00:21:05,170 --> 00:21:07,934 God has no place within these walls... 306 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,237 just like facts have no place within organized religion! 307 00:21:11,343 --> 00:21:14,801 Simpson, you get your wish. Flanders is history. 308 00:21:17,916 --> 00:21:21,113 Well, I really enjoyed my time here, Superintendent. 309 00:21:21,219 --> 00:21:23,915 May the Lord bless and keep you. 310 00:21:24,022 --> 00:21:26,957 - Yeah, take it outside, God boy. - Okilly-dokilly. 311 00:21:27,059 --> 00:21:30,085 Dirksen, tuck in your shirt. Jaffee, spit out that gum. 312 00:21:30,195 --> 00:21:33,722 You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back? 313 00:21:33,832 --> 00:21:36,392 Ah, he seems to know the students' names. 314 00:21:36,501 --> 00:21:40,301 So, I guess we're enemies again. 315 00:21:40,405 --> 00:21:43,340 I guess. Thanks, Bart. 316 00:21:43,442 --> 00:21:45,342 Sure. 317 00:21:54,352 --> 00:21:56,547 Oh, mercy. 318 00:22:44,436 --> 00:22:46,495 Shh.