1 00:00:42,171 --> 00:00:46,086 Aren't you glad we got out of the house and came downtown for a little culture? 2 00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:49,007 They're butchering the classics. 3 00:00:49,177 --> 00:00:52,047 Could that bassoon have come in any more late? 4 00:00:52,263 --> 00:00:55,929 Oh, come on, Homer. There's lasers. You like lasers. 5 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,891 Laser effects, mirrored balls... 6 00:00:58,102 --> 00:01:00,889 ...John Williams must be rolling around in his grave. 7 00:01:05,692 --> 00:01:09,606 Devil-iciously satirical. I wonder if anyone else got that. 8 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,653 We're out of here! 9 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:18,369 Be careful. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types. 10 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:23,578 So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone. 11 00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:25,955 -Three-card manta. Easy money! 12 00:01:26,168 --> 00:01:27,829 Homer, these games are fixed. 13 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,127 Then how come that guy's winning? 14 00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:32,456 I, like, totally won again. 15 00:01:32,632 --> 00:01:34,423 Way to go, bro! 16 00:01:34,634 --> 00:01:37,089 He looks and acts just like the dealer. 17 00:01:37,261 --> 00:01:39,752 I think they're related, or at least in cahoots. 18 00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:43,139 Just pick the red card. It's totally not hard. 19 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,351 Twenty on this one, my good man. 20 00:01:49,146 --> 00:01:51,139 Sorry, dude. Black. 21 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,143 Homer, he cheated you! 22 00:01:56,403 --> 00:01:58,395 You're giving three-car Monte a bad name! 23 00:01:58,571 --> 00:02:00,695 Surely you don't blame me? 24 00:02:01,032 --> 00:02:04,733 It's people like you who are ruining our downtown promenades and piazzas. 25 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:07,912 How dare you prey on the greedy and stupid like this! 26 00:02:08,121 --> 00:02:10,695 Bye-bye! Somebody stop him! 27 00:02:12,542 --> 00:02:15,709 He's getting away! Come on! Come on! 28 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,497 No, Marge! 29 00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:49,775 I must warn you... 30 00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:55,826 ...sometimes ordinary people get a surge of adrenaline. 31 00:03:00,459 --> 00:03:02,285 -See? -Cuff him, boys. 32 00:03:02,461 --> 00:03:04,086 We're putting this dirtbag away. 33 00:03:04,963 --> 00:03:07,964 I'll be back on the street in 24 hours. 34 00:03:08,174 --> 00:03:10,166 We'll try to make it 12. 35 00:03:14,805 --> 00:03:16,797 Marge, are you okay? 36 00:03:17,015 --> 00:03:18,343 I think I'm okay. 37 00:03:18,516 --> 00:03:22,301 It was scary, but in a weird way it was also kind of exhilarating. 38 00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:27,223 Yes. It is exhilarating to see police get their man and save a hysterical woman. 39 00:03:27,399 --> 00:03:29,724 Oh, for crying out loud. 40 00:03:29,901 --> 00:03:33,188 Easy, now, sweetheart. Homie's here. 41 00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:37,318 Hey, Mom. Is this how you caught him? 42 00:03:38,325 --> 00:03:40,449 Face it, Lis. You're too puny to-- 43 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,408 Lisa, unhand your brother. 44 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,123 Yeah, like that really hurt. 45 00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:54,586 Mom, was catching that guy the most exciting thing you've ever done? 46 00:03:54,757 --> 00:03:56,832 Well, it was pretty exciting. 47 00:03:57,050 --> 00:04:01,261 But celery soup's pretty exciting too. 48 00:04:12,188 --> 00:04:17,230 Strange. Regular ham doesn't thrill me anymore. 49 00:04:17,401 --> 00:04:20,652 I'm crossing over to deviled ham. 50 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,711 Marge! 51 00:04:45,176 --> 00:04:48,509 Hey, Mrs. Simpson, I just got the new issue of Sponge and Vacuum. 52 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,920 Thanks, Benevenstanciano. 53 00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,388 Death sports. 54 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:10,281 All right, get in there. 55 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:12,815 -You're going down. -I want a piece of him. 56 00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:18,277 You think you're pretty hot, huh? Well, we got everything we need on you. 57 00:05:19,206 --> 00:05:21,246 -Excuse me. -What? What? What? 58 00:05:21,416 --> 00:05:23,824 What? What? What? This better be about pizza. 59 00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:27,418 Actually, I'm interested in becoming a police officer. 60 00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:43,929 Welcome aboard. 61 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,434 You did what?! 62 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,055 I borrowed your nail clipper. What's the big deal? 63 00:05:49,232 --> 00:05:52,731 Nothing. I'm just edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop. 64 00:05:52,902 --> 00:05:55,393 Cool! Will you bring me along when you do evictions? 65 00:05:55,571 --> 00:05:59,486 -You got it, little buddy. -You being a cop makes you the man. 66 00:05:59,741 --> 00:06:02,861 Which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that. 67 00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:05,409 Besides occasionally wearing the underwear... 68 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:08,332 ...which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. 69 00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:10,990 Homer, there's no reason for you to feel threatened. 70 00:06:11,210 --> 00:06:13,962 You'll always be the man of this house. 71 00:06:14,129 --> 00:06:16,039 Thanks, honey. 72 00:06:17,757 --> 00:06:19,833 All right, you scrawny beanpoles. 73 00:06:20,051 --> 00:06:23,503 Becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. 74 00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:26,716 It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge. 75 00:06:26,932 --> 00:06:30,099 Forget about the badge! When do we get the freaking guns?! 76 00:06:30,268 --> 00:06:33,637 Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name. 77 00:06:33,813 --> 00:06:37,597 I've had it up to here with your "rules"! 78 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,704 Women always have trouble with the wall. 79 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,367 They never seem to find the door. 80 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,426 You missed the baby. You missed the blind man. 81 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:36,283 Oh. Sorry, Simpson. You'll have to do the course again. 82 00:07:36,451 --> 00:07:39,535 I was trying to get this Magic Eye thing to work. 83 00:07:40,079 --> 00:07:42,618 Look at that. A pony. 84 00:07:46,752 --> 00:07:49,421 Hey, everybody! Mom's home. 85 00:07:52,799 --> 00:07:56,049 They didn't have my size shirt, but you get the idea. 86 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:04,262 Wow, Mom. I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before. 87 00:08:04,476 --> 00:08:07,228 Marge, I want you to take care of yourself out there. 88 00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,803 You've become very dear to me. 89 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,688 Homie, of course I will. 90 00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:15,724 Mom, if someone shot at the mayor, would you have to take the bullet? 91 00:08:15,944 --> 00:08:18,613 -I suppose I would. -What about a Coke machine? 92 00:08:18,822 --> 00:08:19,901 -No. -TV? 93 00:08:20,073 --> 00:08:22,279 -No. -TV with a picture of the mayor on it? 94 00:08:22,491 --> 00:08:24,567 Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. 95 00:08:24,785 --> 00:08:28,154 -Well, thank you, honey. -As long as it's constitutional. 96 00:08:29,706 --> 00:08:31,746 Homer, give me my pepper spray! 97 00:08:31,916 --> 00:08:35,084 Oh, Marge. One squirt and you're south of the border. 98 00:08:37,713 --> 00:08:39,837 Incapacitating. 99 00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:47,759 All right, settle, people. People, settle. 100 00:08:47,972 --> 00:08:51,139 People. Ward and Van Zuylen, stake out Doughnut Land. 101 00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:53,432 When they fry up a fresh batch, call it in. 102 00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:55,263 Keneally and Earhart, back them up. 103 00:08:55,437 --> 00:08:57,727 Fitz and Garcia, it's your turn to sleep in. 104 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,067 And, Simpson... 105 00:09:02,235 --> 00:09:04,109 ...seeing how this is your first day... 106 00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,484 ...you're inexperienced and vulnerable... 107 00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,110 ...your beat is Junkyville and Bumtown. 108 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,282 Hello, Mr. Hutz. 109 00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:19,374 I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private. 110 00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:23,456 You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality. 111 00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:25,337 I just wanted to say hello. 112 00:09:26,714 --> 00:09:28,091 Hello. 113 00:09:38,725 --> 00:09:40,717 You are the new cap on the beat? 114 00:09:40,894 --> 00:09:42,685 Okay. I know the drill. 115 00:09:42,854 --> 00:09:44,846 What will it be? One hundred? Two hundred? 116 00:09:45,064 --> 00:09:48,979 Two hundred. No, no. I mean, nothing. I don't take bribes! 117 00:09:49,151 --> 00:09:50,812 Yes, of course you don't. 118 00:09:51,278 --> 00:09:53,519 I will just leave this money on the table... 119 00:09:53,696 --> 00:09:56,567 ...with my unseeing back to the money on the table. 120 00:09:56,783 --> 00:09:59,155 Apu, no. 121 00:10:02,704 --> 00:10:04,163 -That's better. -That's better. 122 00:10:08,585 --> 00:10:11,040 Don't you think for one minute you can go on-- 123 00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:14,463 I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address. 124 00:10:14,632 --> 00:10:15,960 Yes, indeed there is. 125 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:19,585 There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mather and I both enjoy. 126 00:10:19,803 --> 00:10:23,504 She claimed it was her day In use it. I said she was mistaken. We quarreled. 127 00:10:23,681 --> 00:10:25,840 Later, as I prepared to bathe... 128 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:29,303 ...I noticed, in my horror, that someone... 129 00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:31,306 ...had slashed the pillow. 130 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,058 Who called the police? 131 00:10:33,231 --> 00:10:34,690 -We both did. -We both did. 132 00:10:34,858 --> 00:10:38,226 Why don't you two settle down. I'm sure you can get another pillow. 133 00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:41,985 Well, I could send it back to Taiwan for repair. But why should I have tn? 134 00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:43,532 I've done nothing wrong! 135 00:10:43,699 --> 00:10:47,993 And I don't give permission for my face to he on TV. I want it blurred. 136 00:10:49,537 --> 00:10:51,577 What are you gonna do with your day off? 137 00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:54,659 I just want to relax and forget that I'm part... 138 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:59,210 ...of that thin blue line which stands between civilization and chaos. 139 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:06,715 It's illegal for you to operate that class-9 vehicle without pads and a helmet. 140 00:11:06,927 --> 00:11:08,968 -But, Mom-- -It's for your own safety. 141 00:11:10,847 --> 00:11:13,256 Take that, safety boy! 142 00:11:13,433 --> 00:11:18,676 This padding's so easy on the knuckles, I could punch all day! 143 00:11:20,856 --> 00:11:23,561 I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven. 144 00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:25,893 He said it was his day to use the tub pillow! 145 00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:28,560 I can't go to the library anymore. Everybody stinks. 146 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:37,701 Don't stop talking on account of me. I may be a cop, but I'm still your friend. 147 00:11:39,081 --> 00:11:41,240 So how are you, Mrs. Krabappel? 148 00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:43,955 Law-abiding. I'm done. 149 00:11:46,545 --> 00:11:49,167 Moe, I've never seen you here before. 150 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:54,713 Well, these days, my roots don't stay so chestnut on their own, Officer Simpson. 151 00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:58,303 You don't have to call me "officer." I'm not on duty here. 152 00:11:58,514 --> 00:11:59,843 Finished. 153 00:12:04,144 --> 00:12:07,430 Looks nice. It's a good length for you. 154 00:12:13,152 --> 00:12:15,987 Mom's police tape isn't a toy, Dad. 155 00:12:16,196 --> 00:12:19,399 Shush, dear. You'll wreck Daddy's fun. 156 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:26,449 Oh, my Lord! Something horrible has happened! 157 00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,121 Fooled you, Flanders. 158 00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:35,164 Made you think your family was dead! 159 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,966 Did you get it? 160 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,594 They're not, though. 161 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,720 -But you thought they were. -Yeah. 162 00:12:45,889 --> 00:12:48,214 That's why it was so funny. 163 00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:49,803 But they're not. 164 00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:51,429 That's a good one. 165 00:12:51,644 --> 00:12:54,847 And that's the drunk tank, and this is Mommy's desk. 166 00:12:55,147 --> 00:12:57,022 Mom, I know your intentions are good. 167 00:12:57,191 --> 00:13:00,975 But aren't police a force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite? 168 00:13:01,153 --> 00:13:03,608 Don't you think we should attack social problems... 169 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,354 ...instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons? 170 00:13:07,742 --> 00:13:10,945 Look, Lisa! It's McGriff the Crime Dog. 171 00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:15,112 Hello, Lisa. Help me bite crime. 172 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:22,331 Hey, great news, guys! I picked up a nudie deck for our game. 173 00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:24,545 "The girls of the Internet." 174 00:13:24,715 --> 00:13:28,214 I'd go online with them any day. 175 00:13:29,052 --> 00:13:31,128 Hey, hey! We've offended Herman. 176 00:13:31,346 --> 00:13:33,884 No, I'm just going out for some fresh air. 177 00:13:34,765 --> 00:13:36,758 That guy sure likes his fresh air. 178 00:13:36,934 --> 00:13:38,974 None of that for me. 179 00:13:39,728 --> 00:13:43,346 Oh, yeah-- Oh, yeah, yeah. 180 00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:46,602 Homer, you sure it's okay to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble... 181 00:13:46,776 --> 00:13:49,101 -...now that your wife's a cop? -Are you kidding? 182 00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:52,113 Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal. 183 00:13:52,281 --> 00:13:55,318 This police radio entertains me with other people's miseries... 184 00:13:55,492 --> 00:13:57,865 ...we get a free funeral for Marge, God forbid... 185 00:13:58,036 --> 00:14:03,113 ...and I can run background checks on whomever I want, Momar. 186 00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:06,873 Please, please. Ix-nay on the Omar-may. 187 00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:11,918 Hurry it up with the cards, Lenny. I've got you clocked at two miles per hour. 188 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:14,296 Put that away. Radar guns give you cancer. 189 00:14:14,509 --> 00:14:16,466 All the more reason to hurry up. 190 00:14:16,636 --> 00:14:18,676 Hey, what could be going 100 miles per--? 191 00:14:20,889 --> 00:14:23,724 Illegal gambling in my house? 192 00:14:23,934 --> 00:14:26,175 Your house? Your house? 193 00:14:26,352 --> 00:14:30,267 Gee, it's so glamorously decorated, I thought I was in Vegas. 194 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:33,102 Hey, you guys lied to me! You said it was Vegas! 195 00:14:33,275 --> 00:14:36,193 -We'll be going. -We'll just be going. See you around. 196 00:14:36,361 --> 00:14:39,066 Marge, you chased away all my poker buddies. 197 00:14:39,239 --> 00:14:40,697 I didn't mean to. 198 00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:42,781 You've become such a cop. 199 00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:45,406 Not that long ago, you were so much more to me. 200 00:14:45,703 --> 00:14:50,412 You were a cleaner of puts, a sewer of buttons, an unplugger of hairy clogs. 201 00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:52,368 I'm still all those things. 202 00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:56,457 Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric... 203 00:14:56,671 --> 00:14:59,340 ...and unplugging the clogs of our legal system. 204 00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:01,002 You're cooking what for dinner? 205 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,928 Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law. 206 00:15:07,513 --> 00:15:11,345 Dog, no leash. Man littering. 207 00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:13,427 Horse not wearing diaper. 208 00:15:13,811 --> 00:15:17,761 Car parked across three handicapped spaces. 209 00:15:17,981 --> 00:15:21,100 -Homer! -Hey, Marge. How's my little piglet? 210 00:15:21,276 --> 00:15:23,482 Homer, I'm on duty. 211 00:15:23,653 --> 00:15:26,441 That's okay. I'm supposed to be working too. 212 00:15:26,614 --> 00:15:28,109 You have to move your car. 213 00:15:28,282 --> 00:15:32,861 I'll just be a second, Marge. I'm going to get some beer for those kids over there. 214 00:15:33,661 --> 00:15:38,454 I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. But you have to move your car now. 215 00:15:38,624 --> 00:15:41,957 I'll be right back. Now keep your eyes peeled for a real cop. 216 00:15:42,127 --> 00:15:44,168 That's it! I'm gonna write you a ticket! 217 00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,953 -Come on! We're family! -You're breaking the law! 218 00:15:47,215 --> 00:15:48,413 I'll make you a deal. 219 00:15:48,591 --> 00:15:52,127 You rip up that ticket and I'll give you back your hat! 220 00:15:56,848 --> 00:16:01,178 Homer, taking an officer's cap is an arrestable offense. 221 00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:04,521 What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do, huh? 222 00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:09,268 "I'm Officer Marge. I'm gonna arrest you." Whoa! What? 223 00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:12,362 Marge, not here. Hey. 224 00:16:12,529 --> 00:16:15,862 -You're not really arresting me? -You have the right to remain silent. 225 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:18,031 I choose to waive that right. 226 00:16:26,708 --> 00:16:28,618 All right, Simpson. You're free to go. 227 00:16:29,585 --> 00:16:33,370 Let me just finish this last lobster tail and raspberry torte. 228 00:16:34,632 --> 00:16:37,336 All right, Hans. Time to go. 229 00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:39,627 But he ate my last meal. 230 00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:43,634 If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky. 231 00:16:43,806 --> 00:16:47,175 Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail? 232 00:16:47,351 --> 00:16:49,012 From this point on, no talking. 233 00:16:52,814 --> 00:16:57,061 I'm sorry I had to arrest you, Homer, but what I did was right. 234 00:16:57,235 --> 00:17:01,481 When you need it, you'll be happy there are dedicated cops like me out there. 235 00:17:01,697 --> 00:17:03,488 I have nothing more to say to you. 236 00:17:03,699 --> 00:17:06,950 I'm drawing a line down the center of the house, a la I Lave Lucy. 237 00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:10,321 You stay on your side and I'll stay on my side. 238 00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:16,493 Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy... 239 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:20,334 ...I thought it'd be fun and exciting. You know, like that movie Spaceballs. 240 00:17:20,505 --> 00:17:24,004 Instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy. 241 00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:26,796 Hey, Homer. I'm worried about the beer supply. 242 00:17:26,969 --> 00:17:31,346 After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left! 243 00:17:31,515 --> 00:17:33,674 Yeah, yeah! Barney's right! 244 00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:35,760 Yeah, let's drink some beer. 245 00:17:35,935 --> 00:17:38,225 What about some beer? Yeah, Barney's right. 246 00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:41,973 All right, guys. Pipe down. I got some more in the garage. 247 00:17:42,149 --> 00:17:44,854 No. I'll get it for you, Homer. 248 00:17:46,111 --> 00:17:48,863 I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage. 249 00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:51,485 The garage. Hey, fellas! The garage. 250 00:17:51,657 --> 00:17:54,279 Well, la-Di-da, Mr. Frenchman. 251 00:17:54,493 --> 00:17:56,617 -Well, what do you call it? -A car hole. 252 00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,538 -You're late, Herman. -Surely you don't mind waiting... 253 00:18:04,711 --> 00:18:07,119 ...for merchandise of this quality, Mr. Jericho? 254 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:12,133 Looks like good stuff. But, of course, I'll have to sample it first. 255 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,960 These are fabulous! 256 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:19,597 Yeah. Who would suspect that they're counterfeit jeans? 257 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,723 What better place to make the buy... 258 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:25,475 ...than in a cop's garage, where no one would suspect a thing? 259 00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:34,980 Herman, I had to come out here to see what's so funny. 260 00:18:35,154 --> 00:18:38,156 A counterfeit-jeans ring operating out of my car hole! 261 00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:40,898 I'm gonna tell everyone! Wait here. 262 00:18:41,159 --> 00:18:42,654 Not so fast. 263 00:18:42,869 --> 00:18:44,909 Okay. 264 00:18:46,372 --> 00:18:48,993 Maybe you should just stop entirely. 265 00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,249 Herman, how could you? 266 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:54,164 We've all thought about counterfeiting jeans. 267 00:18:54,337 --> 00:18:55,833 But what about the victims? 268 00:18:56,006 --> 00:19:01,427 Hardworking designers like Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt or Antoine Bugle Boy? 269 00:19:01,594 --> 00:19:04,678 These are the people who saw an overcrowded marketplace... 270 00:19:04,847 --> 00:19:06,305 ...and said, "Me too!" 271 00:19:06,515 --> 00:19:08,306 Advance on him, men. 272 00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:11,518 I don't think that's a very good idea. 273 00:19:11,728 --> 00:19:14,681 Oh, no! It's Gloria Vanderbilt out for revenge. 274 00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:19,192 No, it's Officer Simpson of the police. 275 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,864 Herman, your beef is with me! Leave the girl out of this! 276 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,655 -Okay. -Homer! 277 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,487 It's too late for me, Marge! Sell the jeans and live like a queen! 278 00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,041 Is Bart home? 279 00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:41,952 Just taking Maggie for a stroll. 280 00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:48,673 I guess I am putting up the Halloween decorations a little early. 281 00:19:48,885 --> 00:19:50,463 Criticism accepted. 282 00:19:51,471 --> 00:19:53,713 Marge! 283 00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:57,097 -Go, Mom! -Bust him! All right, Mom! 284 00:19:57,268 --> 00:20:00,803 Go back to bed! Don't make me come up there! 285 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:09,981 Looks like your wife is embarking up the wrong tree. 286 00:20:14,032 --> 00:20:18,113 Freeze! Every mother knows the secret entrance to her son's tree house. 287 00:20:18,286 --> 00:20:21,370 Oh, Marge, you saved my life. 288 00:20:21,539 --> 00:20:23,615 I'm sorry I teased you. 289 00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:27,700 You're a really good cop. I'm proud of you. 290 00:20:29,463 --> 00:20:31,420 So long. Gotta catch the 501. 291 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:35,130 -He's getting away! You blew it, Marge. -I don't think so. 292 00:20:36,427 --> 00:20:39,132 Foiled by my own shoddy merchandise! 293 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,129 That's my ambulance! I called for it four hours ago! 294 00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,933 Marge, how did you know? 295 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,892 -That the pants would rip? -No. What-- 296 00:20:46,102 --> 00:20:49,222 Years of buying pants for children and a full-seated husband... 297 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,935 ...has given me a sixth sense for shoddy stitching... 298 00:20:52,107 --> 00:20:53,899 ...which these jeans have in spades. 299 00:20:54,068 --> 00:20:57,436 That's nice work, Simpson, but we can't hold him. There's no evidence. 300 00:20:57,654 --> 00:20:59,778 There's a garage full of counterfeit jeans. 301 00:21:00,198 --> 00:21:03,282 They've mysteriously disappeared. 302 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:05,161 Looking good, boys. 303 00:21:05,369 --> 00:21:09,913 That's it. There's too much corruption on this force. I quit. 304 00:21:22,092 --> 00:21:23,420 Sorry to lose you, Simpson. 305 00:21:26,429 --> 00:21:28,090 I don't think they're coming back. 306 00:21:28,264 --> 00:21:31,099 Well, that does it. That does it. I'm looking at his cards. 307 00:21:31,267 --> 00:21:32,892 Crap. I fold.