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Live
from fabulous Centauri City.

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It's the Simpsons Tenth Halloween Special.

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Now, please welcome your hosts,

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If you haven't been probed by these two,

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you haven't been probed.

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Kang and Kodos.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Yes, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

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Welcome to our tenth anniversary show.

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Oh, we've got a great...

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Kang, what are you doing?

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Well, you said we were
going to warm up the audience.

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Ladies and gentlemen

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I have to apologize for my partner.

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He had to borrow a human brain.

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What do aliens have to do with Halloween?

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Silence.

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I still can't believe we escaped
from those horrible vampires.

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But it was worth it to get back our.

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Super Sugar Crisp cereal.

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Can't get enough
with that Sugar Crisp...

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I'm having a hard time seeing.

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Homer, did you remember
to put the fog lights in?

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Guess I forgot
to put the fog lights in

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I better pull over and play it safe.

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Please be a dog.

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Oh, no!

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Ned Flanders.

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He's dead.

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He's definitely dead.

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Oh, my God.

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We killed Ned Flanders.

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You mean, you killed Ned Flanders.

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Oh, it was an accident. An accident!

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We got to go to the police.

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They'll never believe
a Simpson killed a Flanders

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by accident.

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Even I have my doubts.

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Don't worry, I got a plan.

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OK, Ned, the first thing we have to do

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is to make sure
that no one knows that you're dead.

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If anyone asks you,
just say that you're not dead.

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Hey, Maude!

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Look who's helping me clean the chimney.

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Neddy?

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Where have you been?

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Hi, Maude... Diddily.

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I've been having fun with my pal Homer.

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Diddily.

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Oh, I'm so relieved.

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Whenever you go on one
of your late-night fog walks,

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I get so worried.

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Relax. I'm fine.

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But when I do die,
I don't want any autopsies.

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Well, come on down, you goofy roofy.

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Wow, it sure is slippery up here.

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My pies are done.

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Aw, she missed it.

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Hey, Maude, I'm home!

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Uh-oh, I think I'm having a heart attack!

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And that's the end of that chapter.

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Try not to look too sad.

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It'll seem suspicious.

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And now Ned's best friend
will say a few words.

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Homer.

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When I think about Ned,

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I can't help but remember

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the look on his face

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when Marge drove over...

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Homer shut up, shut up, shut up.

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Oh, wait.

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What I'd like to say is

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we're still looking for the real killers.

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Anyway, in conclusion,

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a man cannot be forced
to testify against his wife.

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Stop winking.

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We'll miss you, buddy.

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Hey, we just got away with murder.

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And it was so easy.

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No, I've never liked the little wiener.

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Milhouse.

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No more murders.

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But you got to kill...

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No!

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Someone saw us.

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But who?

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Homer, stop that.

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Who could be calling at this hour?

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Y'ello?

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I know you're alone.

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Oh... who is this?

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Is this Maude Flanders?

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No, it's... Homer.

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Oh, hey, Homer, it's Moe.

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I must've dialed the wrong number.

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Get in the car.

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Dear God, it's Homer.

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If you really love me,

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you'll save my life now.

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He's getting closer!

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OK, Marge, you hide
in the abandoned amusement park.

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Lisa, the Pet Cemetery.

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Bart, spooky roller disco.

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And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake

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where the sexy teens were killed
a hundred years ago tonight.

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Now, Flanders, I want you to...

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It's impossible. I killed you.

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You can't kill
the undead, silly.

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He's undead, all right.

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Are you a zombie?

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Oh, I wish.

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You see, that night
when you hit me with your car...

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I'm making record time on this fog walk.

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Better pick up the pace.

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Guess I forgot to put
the fog lights in

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I better pull over
and play it safe.

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So you were going to kill us?

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Yeah.

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Hey, foamy, I want the news,
not the weather.

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Marge, did you hear me zing
werewolf Flanders?

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Diddily.

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Flanders stop that.

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Eyes bigger than
your stomach, eh, wolfie?

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You... No! Aah! Ow!

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Well, well, well, if it isn't

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the cutest police officer in Springfield.

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Hey, you know,
we got feelings, too, chief.

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Just dump your candy
on the X-ray belt, Ralphie.

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There's a good boy.

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Safe. Safe.

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Razor blade. Syringe.

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Ooh, white chocolate.

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Check it out, Lisa.

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I'm radioactive man.

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I don't think the real radioactive man

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wears a plastic smock
with a picture of himself on it.

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He would on Halloween.

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Get in there, you stupid pillowcase.

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Stop it. You'll jam the machine.

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Uh-oh. Radiation! Duck and cover!

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Cool!

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Bart!

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Oh, my god! Lisa!

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She's been crushed

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and so have the hopes
of our mathletics team.

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Hold the funeral, poindexter.

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"Poindexter?"

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Whoa, Lise, those X-rays

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must have given you super strength!

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I wonder if I got any powers.

151
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Nope, looks normal.

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Wait a minute.

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I can stretch.

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Look at me! Ow!

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Hot-hot-hot!

156
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I must only use this power to annoy.

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Now, who could that be at this hour?

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Yes? Yes? Up? Down? Side to side?

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What's your point?

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I Gotcha.

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Bart, with these powers,

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we can become superheroes.

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OK, so do it, already.

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Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl.

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He's a human rubber band
and she's the hulk in pearls.

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He's a limber lad.

167
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She's a powerful lass.

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He'll wring your neck.

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And she'll kick your ass.

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They're Stretch Dude.

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And Clobber Girl.

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Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl.

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Tonight's episode:
"Enter the Collector."

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But I'm sure that once girls
get to know the real you

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you'll get plenty of dates.

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Next question.

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Yes, over here.

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In episode BF12,

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you were battling Barbarians

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while riding a winged appaloosa

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yet in the very next scene, my dear,

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you're clearly atop a winged Arabian.

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Please to explain it.

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Ah. Yeah. Well,

185
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whenever you notice something like that,

186
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a wizard did it.

187
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I see. All right. Yes.

188
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But in episode AG4...

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- Wizard.
- Ah. For glayvin out loud.

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Behold! I am the Collector

191
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and I'm here to add you to my collection.

192
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Must remove... my breastplate!

193
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Maybe later.

194
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Care for a Rolo, sweet Xena?

195
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All right, Collector,
stick this in your tweezers.

196
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I'm not Xena!

197
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I'm an actress, you lunatic!

198
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Oh, please.

199
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I'm not insane.

200
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I simply wish to take you back to my lair

201
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and make you my bride.

202
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Oh, dear God!

203
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Clobber Girl?

204
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Thank you.

205
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Help!

206
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:50,941
It's Xena!

207
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She's been kidnapped.

208
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Come on.

209
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Remember, you're vulnerable to kryptonite.

210
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Geez, Marge, tell the neighborhood!

211
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,458
Fear not, my syndicated sweetie.

212
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,378
You'll be preserved in this mylar pouch

213
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,215
forever remaining in...
near-mint condition

214
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,134
between Dr. Who and,
of course, Yasmine Bleeth.

215
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,302
I don't think so.

216
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:21,721
I don't think so either.

217
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,854
Your collecting days are over, Collector.

218
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,815
Stop right there!

219
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,776
I have here the only
working phaser ever built.

220
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,445
It was fired only once
to keep William Shatner

221
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,780
from making another album.

222
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,366
Stretch dude... Help!

223
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,450
Just a sec.

224
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,128
- Whoa!
- Hey, phaser, phaser, phaser. Zing!

225
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,507
Ne ne!

226
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,597
Good night, "Retch" Dude
and "Slobber" Girl.

227
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,558
Sweet screams.

228
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,602
I'm unbelievably amused.

229
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,355
Soon, those bratty buttinskies

230
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,857
will be encased in lucite

231
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,400
for all eternity.

232
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,152
While we're waiting, here's some names

233
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you may call me on our wedding night.

234
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,573
"Obi-Wan," "Iron Man,"

235
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,199
"Mr. Mxyzptlk"

236
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,076
and, of course, "Big Papa Smurf."

237
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,619
What do you need me for?

238
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,103
You could have your choice of
any of the women in these bags.

239
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,707
You would think so, but no.

240
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,167
Really?

241
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:35,796
Well, I mean, maybe
we are meant for each other.

242
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,757
Growing up, I was always tall for my age

243
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,067
and the other kids made fun of me.

244
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,634
I... I always hoped

245
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,136
for another misunderstood soul

246
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,846
to share my pain and...

247
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,140
you could be that soul, Collector.

248
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,893
Come here, you.

249
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,020
Xena needs xex.

250
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,984
Got your lips!

251
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,281
You tricked me

252
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,992
with a ruse so hackneyed

253
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,745
- it would make Stan Lee blush.
- Shut up.

254
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,085
Ow, that hurts!

255
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,301
Bart, just let me drop and save yourself.

256
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,442
What do you think I've been trying to do?

257
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:30,017
Not even Xena is a match
for the limited edition

258
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,852
double-edged light saber

259
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,980
from Star Wars Episode I:
The Phantom Menace.

260
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,986
You removed it
from its original packaging.

261
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,571
No!

262
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,281
It's no longer a collectible.

263
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,996
What a nerd.

264
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,331
Lucite hardening...

265
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:53,958
Must end life

266
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,085
in classic Lorne Greene pose

267
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,128
from Battlestar Galactica.

268
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:03,342
Best... death... ever.

269
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,511
Wow.

270
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,596
Thanks for saving us.

271
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,806
No problem.

272
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,099
Now, let's get you kids home.

273
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:11,891
Wait a minute.

274
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,977
Xena can't fly.

275
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,812
I told you. I'm not Xena.

276
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,772
I'm Lucy Lawless.

277
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,483
Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl.

278
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,289
This is Dick Clark,
rockin' down to the year 2000

279
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,372
and that was Whitesnake.

280
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,000
We're not Whitesnake, dude.

281
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,209
We're Poison.

282
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,420
I thought we were Quiet Riot.

283
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,088
It says here we're Ratt.

284
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,299
...he hit rock bottom.

285
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,136
Man alive, what a stinko thousand years.

286
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,680
Blimp wrecks, teenagers...

287
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,224
Then again, we had two TV shows
with Andy Griffith.

288
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,934
And 11 with Robert Urich.

289
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,646
Super freak Super freak

290
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,148
I'm super freakin'

291
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,357
Yow.

292
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,568
Oh, man, what'd I do now?

293
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,462
Wonderful. Now, that song is dedicated

294
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,487
to all you super geeks

295
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,822
who rocked around the clock

296
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,409
to exterminate America's Y2K bugs.
Slammin'!

297
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:14,538
Hey, Homer, weren't you the plant's
Y2K compliance officer?

298
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,873
Absolutely.

299
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,751
Must have been hard debugging
all those computers, huh, Homer?

300
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,877
Doing what now?

301
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,795
You did fix them, right, Dad?

302
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,465
Because even a single
faulty unit could corrupt

303
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,800
every other computer in the world.

304
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,636
That can't be true, Honey.

305
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,055
If it were, I'd be terrified.

306
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,599
Eight, seven, six...

307
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,809
We want to thank Dixie brand mayonnaise.

308
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,895
Whoo lawdy, what a mayonnaise.

309
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,146
Three, two...

310
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,817
That's Homer Simpsons's computer.

311
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,527
Oh, God. It's spreading!

312
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,907
Happy New... Wha...?

313
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,825
Oh, no. It's happening.

314
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,808
Ha! Wha...?

315
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,235
Who's going to clean up all those jets?

316
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,406
There goes the clothesline.

317
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,659
Well, those ivory tower
eggheads have screwed us again.

318
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,204
Let's just have some milk and go to bed.

319
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,957
Hey, this milk's broken!

320
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,542
It's got a computer chip in it.

321
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:42,876
Everything does.

322
00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,019
Judgment Day is upon us.

323
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,438
I warned you the Lord wouldn't stand

324
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,523
for your minidresses and Beatle boots...

325
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,360
I resisted these for 35 years.

326
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,695
Why did I wear them today?

327
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,948
But it's not too late
to repent your sins

328
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,409
and be embraced by the almighty!

329
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,286
Hey, everybody, they're looting the mall.

330
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,830
Hurry! I got nine shoe buffers.

331
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,544
I'm caught on something.

332
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,212
I don't want you looting.

333
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,339
But I was going to loot you a present.

334
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,466
Oh, all right.

335
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,759
Yay!

336
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,142
Oh, thank you, Homey.

337
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,810
A lady Remington.

338
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,994
Well, look at the wonders
of the Computer Age now.

339
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,997
Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?

340
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,957
I think that was implied by what I said.

341
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,669
Implied, Lisa, or implode?

342
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,838
Mom, make him stop.

343
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:12,716
Oh, no, Krusty.

344
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,429
My pacemaker, it's stuck on hummingbird!

345
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,680
Nectar, nectar!

346
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,599
I need to drink my weight in nectar.

347
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,852
Krusty!

348
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:25,896
Hey, a note.

349
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,276
"You have been selected
for Operation Exodus."

350
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,487
They're evacuating the Earth.

351
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,489
Oh, we're saved!

352
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:39,368
Thank you, sweet clown.

353
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,329
In death, you saved us all.

354
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,124
I'm not dead.

355
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,460
I can still hear his voice on the wind.

356
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,587
There it is.

357
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,423
Just like the dead clown promised.

358
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,012
Wow. There's Bill Gates,

359
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,265
Stephen Hawking, Paul McCartney,

360
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,517
Michael Jordan, Michelle Kwan...

361
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,561
They must be starting
a new civilization on Mars

362
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,229
with our best and brightest.

363
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,564
That's us!

364
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,150
- Name, please.
- Certainly.

365
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:15,445
I am... the, uh, piano genius
from the movie Shine.

366
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,114
Uh-huh. And your name is?

367
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,701
Uh... Shiny McShine?

368
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,244
Actually, he's Homer Simpson.

369
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,704
That's Bart. I'm Lisa.

370
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:24,788
Lisa Simpson?

371
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,349
Oh, you're the ship's proofreader.

372
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,374
Welcome aboard.

373
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,001
Now, before you enter you're going

374
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,128
to have to make a very difficult choice.

375
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,589
You're only allowed
to take one parent with you.

376
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:34,672
Mom.

377
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,509
Love you lots.

378
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,969
Good-bye, Lisa.

379
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,512
Remember me as I am...

380
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,890
Filled with murderous rage.

381
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,313
Well, son, I guess this is the end.

382
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,441
But we've both had long, full lives.

383
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:54,776
Oh, right.

384
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,695
Hey, look, another spaceship.

385
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,197
And there's nobody guarding it.

386
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,615
Let's go.

387
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:06,496
I can't believe I destroyed the Earth.

388
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,041
Are you still talking about the Earth?

389
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,584
Right, got to let it go.

390
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,461
All that counts is we're alive

391
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,713
and rubbing elbows with the greats.

392
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,716
There's Ross Perot.

393
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,092
Dr. Laura.

394
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:20,426
Spike Lee.

395
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,471
Wait a minute.
They're not so great.

396
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,805
OK, but there's.

397
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,016
Dan Quayle and Courtney Love,

398
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,726
Tanya Harding,

399
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,186
Al Sharpton?

400
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,188
Tom Arnold!

401
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,648
What the hell's going on?

402
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,442
Wait. Only that ship is going to Mars.

403
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,236
Ours is headed for the sun.

404
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,796
Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth?

405
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,465
I mean, my shows weren't great but I never

406
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,199
tied people up and forced them to watch,

407
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,722
and I could've, 'cause I'm a big guy

408
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,785
and I'm good with knots.

409
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,536
So, we're all going to die?

410
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,540
Afraid so, but, hey,
the grub's pretty good, huh?

411
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:52,876
The Sun?

412
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,586
That's the hottest place on Earth.

413
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:58,382
Gonna work on my tannage, buddy.

414
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,633
Pauly Shore? Wow!

415
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,927
Hey, we should do a show together, man.

416
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,637
That's a sure cure for the blues.

417
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,724
Hey, turn those frowns around!

418
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,852
Oh, no, Rosie O'Donnell!

419
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,397
Come on, everybody, sing along.

420
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,525
Clang, clang, clang,
went the trolley...

421
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,859
This side only!

422
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:18,860
Ding, ding, ding.

423
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,404
Went the bell.

424
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,115
Zing, zing, zing, went my heartstrings.

425
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,784
From the moment I saw him, I fell.

426
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:30,122
Don't worry, Dad.
We'll be dead in five minutes.

427
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,205
Not fast enough.

428
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,649
Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings.

429
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:44,678
From the moment I saw him I fell.

430
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,476
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