1 00:00:28,944 --> 00:00:33,371 Nothing beats taking a family drive with our new satellite radio. 2 00:00:33,372 --> 00:00:36,844 Which of the 25 easy-listening stations should we listen to? 3 00:00:36,845 --> 00:00:38,443 I say "Cool Waves." 4 00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:40,102 "Neon Breeze!" 5 00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:41,967 "Chill Thunder!" "Chill Thunder!" 6 00:00:42,514 --> 00:00:44,285 You're all idiots. 7 00:00:44,286 --> 00:00:47,036 I'm putting it on "Chill Thunder Lite." 8 00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:51,220 Oh, now that's smooth. 9 00:00:52,146 --> 00:00:55,474 Out of my way, you seat belt-wearin' cowards! 10 00:00:55,477 --> 00:00:57,896 Hey! Nobody cuts me off! 11 00:01:00,219 --> 00:01:01,456 Homer, no! 12 00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:03,896 Revenge never solves anything. 13 00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:05,840 Then what's America doing in Iraq? 14 00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,391 Well, let me tell you a story 15 00:01:07,398 --> 00:01:09,045 about a time revenge brought 16 00:01:09,051 --> 00:01:11,107 only unhappiness and misery. 17 00:01:11,122 --> 00:01:13,562 It happened many years ago in Paris. 18 00:01:13,565 --> 00:01:14,493 Texas? 19 00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:16,264 No, France. 20 00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:19,559 There was a happy young family. 21 00:01:21,645 --> 00:01:23,433 Papa, may we have chocolat? 22 00:01:23,438 --> 00:01:25,376 Papa, may we have petit fours? 23 00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:27,071 May we? May we? 24 00:01:27,163 --> 00:01:28,773 Mais oui! 25 00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,261 Oh, Mon Cher, 26 00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,415 I am the luckiest wife in the entire 27 00:01:37,419 --> 00:01:39,835 16th arrondissement! 28 00:01:39,843 --> 00:01:42,010 Let us kiss with the tongues. 29 00:01:45,471 --> 00:01:46,916 I hate that Homer jerk 30 00:01:46,922 --> 00:01:48,147 with his beautiful wife 31 00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:49,399 and loving family, 32 00:01:49,405 --> 00:01:51,391 when all I got is this doorway. 33 00:01:51,929 --> 00:01:53,617 Well, enjoy your sensual 34 00:01:53,622 --> 00:01:55,176 tongue-play while you can 35 00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:57,540 'cause I've got a plan to take everything you got! 36 00:02:08,109 --> 00:02:09,506 Monsieur Simpson. 37 00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:12,040 You're under arrest for treason. 38 00:02:12,058 --> 00:02:14,056 Treason? But I love France. 39 00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:16,336 The way all our words are either a girl or a guy. 40 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,418 Oh, that's the best. 41 00:02:17,424 --> 00:02:19,711 Tell it to Le baton! 42 00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:24,039 I don't want the kids 43 00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,348 to see me this way. 44 00:02:25,356 --> 00:02:26,462 Don't worry! 45 00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,755 They're still drunk from school. 46 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:34,311 Uh... deux... trois. 47 00:02:39,094 --> 00:02:40,499 Listen to this letter he wrote. 48 00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:42,192 "Dear England, 49 00:02:42,199 --> 00:02:43,243 "how I love your 50 00:02:43,248 --> 00:02:44,535 moors and heaths. 51 00:02:44,552 --> 00:02:45,499 "For you, I'd do 52 00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:46,798 whatever it takes, 53 00:02:46,984 --> 00:02:49,392 especially treason." 54 00:02:49,397 --> 00:02:50,816 I didn't write that! 55 00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,649 Even if I did love England, 56 00:02:52,652 --> 00:02:54,571 I'd play it cool. 57 00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,762 Wait for it to come to me. 58 00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:58,557 I sentence you to life. 59 00:02:58,562 --> 00:03:01,051 You moron! I'm already alive. 60 00:03:01,054 --> 00:03:01,880 In prison. 61 00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:15,651 I'm gonna stop now. 62 00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:22,248 I shouldn't be here. 63 00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:23,520 I was framed. 64 00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:24,991 You think you got problems? 65 00:03:25,009 --> 00:03:26,613 The man in the iron mask over there 66 00:03:26,618 --> 00:03:27,958 is the rightful King of France. 67 00:03:27,962 --> 00:03:29,517 Hey, wait, did you guys hear that? 68 00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:31,313 He just admitted it. Guys? 69 00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:33,716 Oh, man, this place is so unfair. 70 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,797 Are you going to torture me? 71 00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:36,949 We can't tell you. 72 00:03:36,952 --> 00:03:37,889 Not knowing is 73 00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:39,553 the worst torture of all. 74 00:03:39,557 --> 00:03:41,074 Well, that and the rat helmet. 75 00:03:44,566 --> 00:03:45,960 Now get some sleep. 76 00:03:45,965 --> 00:03:47,984 You've got a 9:00 a.m. rat helmet. 77 00:03:48,298 --> 00:03:50,246 Oh, 9:00 a.m. 78 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,736 I swear revenge on Meaux! 79 00:03:57,741 --> 00:03:59,050 Even if it takes me 80 00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:00,753 the rest of my life! 81 00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:01,632 Can you loosen my arms 82 00:04:01,638 --> 00:04:02,805 so I can shake my fists? 83 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,768 You're the traitor. 84 00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,381 Revenge! 85 00:04:06,544 --> 00:04:07,059 Okay. 86 00:04:07,505 --> 00:04:08,152 Thank you. 87 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,749 Oh, little mouse. 88 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,142 You are the only thing 89 00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:16,001 that keeps me sane. 90 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,381 Now I have nothing. 91 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,419 Perhaps 92 00:04:21,425 --> 00:04:22,652 I may be of help. 93 00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:24,677 Where did you come from? 94 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,065 I'm your cell mate. 95 00:04:26,071 --> 00:04:27,820 You never noticed me because frankly, 96 00:04:27,823 --> 00:04:29,640 you're extremely self-centered. 97 00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:31,393 Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening. 98 00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:32,948 I was checking out my reflection 99 00:04:32,951 --> 00:04:34,229 in this yellow water. 100 00:04:34,235 --> 00:04:36,860 Ho-ho-ho-ho, looking good. 101 00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:38,713 Young man, I have the answer 102 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,996 to your problems. 103 00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,746 I spent 30 years digging this tunnel, 104 00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,619 but now I can't use it. 105 00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,741 I'm simply too old. 106 00:04:50,746 --> 00:04:51,894 And decrepit. 107 00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:54,298 But you can escape 108 00:04:54,313 --> 00:04:55,689 and use this map to retrieve 109 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:57,148 my buried treasure. 110 00:04:57,156 --> 00:04:59,672 With it you can have your revenge. 111 00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:01,434 Ooh, the-the! 112 00:05:01,442 --> 00:05:03,979 But why are you helping me? 113 00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:05,680 Well, because before 114 00:05:05,685 --> 00:05:06,643 my wretched life 115 00:05:06,648 --> 00:05:07,873 comes to a close, 116 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,148 I want to know that 117 00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:11,149 I had one friend. 118 00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,790 Also, because while you slept, 119 00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:14,635 I violated you repeatedly. 120 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,655 So this map leads to a treasure, huh? 121 00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:20,871 I wonder how long this tunnel 122 00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:22,435 ...iiiiiiiis! 123 00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:32,621 D'oh! 124 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,626 Damn it! 125 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,635 How's it going? 126 00:05:53,191 --> 00:05:54,118 D'oh! 127 00:05:55,895 --> 00:05:57,584 Uh-huh. Hmm. 128 00:05:59,452 --> 00:06:00,358 Mon Dieu! 129 00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:06,956 Whoo-hoo-hee! 130 00:06:08,914 --> 00:06:10,490 Ew! Silver. 131 00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:12,184 Ooh, a penny. 132 00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:14,148 This is my lucky day! 133 00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:25,351 FrÚre Jacques, FrÚre Jacques, 134 00:06:25,359 --> 00:06:28,778 Dormez-vous, dormez-vous 135 00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:30,398 Oh, I love today's music. 136 00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,562 FrÚre this, and Jacques that. 137 00:06:32,568 --> 00:06:33,243 Out of sight. 138 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,009 "The Count of Monte Cristo 139 00:06:38,025 --> 00:06:40,161 invites you to a formal gala." 140 00:06:40,179 --> 00:06:42,937 Ooh, the Count of Monte Cristo! 141 00:06:44,573 --> 00:06:45,349 Can we go? 142 00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:46,019 We haven't been 143 00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:46,869 to any parties 144 00:06:46,869 --> 00:06:47,886 since that soirie 145 00:06:47,886 --> 00:06:49,165 at the Bastille. 146 00:06:49,353 --> 00:06:49,918 Ah... 147 00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:51,118 summer nights. 148 00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,396 When will we meet the count? 149 00:06:56,402 --> 00:06:57,475 Do you think he'll like us? 150 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,038 I've heard rumors he's mysterious. 151 00:07:11,289 --> 00:07:13,390 Madame, you have the shapely, 152 00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,260 hairless knuckles of a queen. 153 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,985 Oh. Well. 154 00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:18,316 Monsieur Meaux, 155 00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:19,035 I would be honored 156 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,467 if you would be the first 157 00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:23,294 to enjoy the evening's entertainment. 158 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,084 Here it is: 159 00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:26,849 the harmless chair 160 00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:28,158 of relaxation. 161 00:07:28,935 --> 00:07:30,402 I heard about these things. 162 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,996 They're good for doing the wife, right? 163 00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:32,817 Oh! 164 00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:33,996 Little do you know 165 00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:35,169 that the Count of Monte Cristo 166 00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:35,950 is in fact 167 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,303 an old acquaintance of yours. 168 00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:39,303 Ma? 169 00:07:39,821 --> 00:07:42,288 I have returned! 170 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,869 I don't get it. 171 00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:45,112 Oh, hold on. 172 00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:46,925 It's him! 173 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:47,955 Monsieur Simpson! 174 00:07:47,961 --> 00:07:49,707 Homer, you're back! 175 00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:51,633 Oui, oui! And I have spent 176 00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:53,494 the last five years plotting the most 177 00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,315 exquisite revenge! 178 00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:08,605 Okay, lesson learned. 179 00:08:08,619 --> 00:08:09,615 Friends again? 180 00:08:13,446 --> 00:08:14,153 Crêpes? 181 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,209 Suzette! 182 00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:24,686 Homer? 183 00:08:24,941 --> 00:08:26,311 Yes, my love? 184 00:08:26,325 --> 00:08:28,592 You killed my husband. 185 00:08:29,741 --> 00:08:30,775 No! 186 00:08:30,782 --> 00:08:31,839 Papa Meaux! 187 00:08:31,854 --> 00:08:32,657 Papa Meaux! 188 00:08:32,663 --> 00:08:34,301 You guys liked him? 189 00:08:34,596 --> 00:08:37,233 We were together for five years. 190 00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:39,668 Now who's going to take care of the triplets? 191 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,274 But Marge, 192 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,049 I did it all for you. 193 00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,061 For me, huh? 194 00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:49,680 What took you so long? 195 00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:50,704 It takes time 196 00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:52,204 to make a revenge machine 197 00:08:52,212 --> 00:08:53,198 this awesome. 198 00:08:53,202 --> 00:08:54,138 Plus, in the middle, 199 00:08:54,143 --> 00:08:55,208 I had to take revenge 200 00:08:55,214 --> 00:08:56,591 on some of my contractors. 201 00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:58,375 You spent so much time 202 00:08:58,378 --> 00:08:59,917 plotting your revenge, 203 00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:01,039 you lost everything 204 00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,330 that really mattered. 205 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,621 Come on, kids. 206 00:09:07,343 --> 00:09:08,930 So you see, Homer, 207 00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:11,614 revenge only leads to misery. 208 00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:16,878 Weren't you listening? 209 00:09:16,885 --> 00:09:18,413 I just told you a whole story 210 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:19,854 about revenge. 211 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,024 Oh right. 212 00:09:21,752 --> 00:09:23,330 Revenge! 213 00:09:26,377 --> 00:09:29,146 I'm gonna get my revenge, and if I get caught, 214 00:09:29,222 --> 00:09:31,740 I'm pinning it on the baby like the time I shot Mr. Burns. 215 00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:32,580 Dad, wait. 216 00:09:32,637 --> 00:09:34,905 I've got a story about why revenge is wrong. 217 00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,331 Is it The Count of Monte Cristo? 'Cause I love that story. 218 00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:39,229 No. 219 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,407 I call it Revenge of the Geeks. 220 00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,858 I'm so sick of those bullies. 221 00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:54,391 We got to figure out some way to stop 'em. 222 00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:56,166 Perhaps we could tell the principal. 223 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,187 Tell me what? 224 00:10:02,146 --> 00:10:04,897 Behold the Get-back-inator. 225 00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:08,711 We're gonna beat those bullies with a glove? 226 00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,596 This is far more than a mere glove. 227 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:15,871 This is the turning point in the eternal battle of brain v. brawn. 228 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:19,717 All it requires is a small amount of coordination. 229 00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:26,617 I can handle the glove. I took juggling at camp. 230 00:10:31,488 --> 00:10:33,075 Good morning, dinguses. 231 00:10:33,112 --> 00:10:35,768 What are you doing, touching each other's butts? 232 00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:38,942 Oh, you are so dead you're alive. 233 00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,155 What is this place? 234 00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,054 Ah, what a pleasant surprise. 235 00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:56,537 It seems that now the shoe is on the other... 236 00:10:56,543 --> 00:10:57,538 Revenge! 237 00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:07,862 My fun bags! 238 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,598 Please, have mercy! 239 00:11:10,682 --> 00:11:12,741 I always thought you were the coolest dork. 240 00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:24,657 Stop hitting yourself. 241 00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:26,780 Stop hitting yourself. 242 00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,361 Stop hitting yourself. 243 00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,036 Why are you hitting yourself? 244 00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:37,554 Milhouse, thanks to you, the nerds can breathe easy. 245 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,327 Except the ones with asthma, which is all of them. 246 00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:41,879 But still, it's great. 247 00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:46,506 Yup, having a weapon at school has really made things awesome. 248 00:11:49,247 --> 00:11:49,912 Pardon my birdie. 249 00:11:50,115 --> 00:11:52,146 I misjudged the prevailing winds. 250 00:11:52,198 --> 00:11:54,526 You embarrassed me in front of Lisa! 251 00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:05,542 Milhouse, what's gotten into you? 252 00:12:05,598 --> 00:12:08,319 Over the years, a lot of people have hurt me. 253 00:12:08,374 --> 00:12:10,922 Good thing I kept this list. 254 00:12:13,748 --> 00:12:15,856 Oh, no, you've already got your revenge! 255 00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:19,121 You wouldn't give me Chinese cuts in the lunch line. 256 00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:23,268 You laughed when I threw up on the glass-blowing tour. 257 00:12:23,772 --> 00:12:25,381 Girls like you better. 258 00:12:25,888 --> 00:12:27,916 Your parents are married! 259 00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:31,350 Ay caramba! 260 00:12:32,495 --> 00:12:35,355 That's the only line I get in your stupid story?! 261 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:38,140 There are no small parts, just small actors. 262 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,567 This is my first day at this school. 263 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,289 I haven't done anything to you! 264 00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:48,123 You will. This is prevenge. 265 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:56,053 Why, look, it's Milhouse. 266 00:12:56,158 --> 00:12:57,726 What's the power glove for? 267 00:12:57,790 --> 00:13:00,991 Opening the cup on your weirdo pills? 268 00:13:05,089 --> 00:13:06,467 Willie, clean up this mess. 269 00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:07,668 All right. 270 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,229 Milhouse, don't you see? 271 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,851 You're addicted to revenge. 272 00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,515 You'll learn to love it when you're my queen. 273 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,057 I see. 274 00:13:21,363 --> 00:13:23,780 While it would be an honor to be your queen... 275 00:13:24,188 --> 00:13:25,784 Go on. 276 00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,970 ...I feel it would be best if we just stay friends. 277 00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:31,774 Nobody spares my feelings! 278 00:13:35,942 --> 00:13:37,402 I can't do it. 279 00:13:37,606 --> 00:13:39,622 I can't hurt you, Lisa. 280 00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:48,235 You forgot about me 'cause I had the mumps. 281 00:13:57,875 --> 00:14:00,791 That had what I really like in a story: 282 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,397 an ending. 283 00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:05,258 The point, Dad, is that when you take revenge, 284 00:14:05,403 --> 00:14:08,203 you become just as bad as the person you harm. 285 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:12,921 No, sweetie, the lesson is: never put down your weapon. 286 00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:16,095 Revenge! 287 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,921 Look at that view. 288 00:14:20,223 --> 00:14:23,946 It reminds me of how insignificant we are in the world. 289 00:14:24,151 --> 00:14:25,347 Yeehaw! 290 00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,160 This is it. 291 00:14:28,365 --> 00:14:30,043 It's taken all day. 292 00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:35,121 We've missed our flight to Hawaii, but finally I'll get my revenge. 293 00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:36,724 Dad, wait! 294 00:14:36,829 --> 00:14:38,876 - You haven't heard my story. - You? 295 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,728 You're too dumb to tell a story. 296 00:14:42,535 --> 00:14:46,718 No, seriously, you're great. Let's hear it. Oh, geez. 297 00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:50,843 My story takes place in a time I call the past. 298 00:15:10,373 --> 00:15:11,973 That stunk worse than boiled cabbage. 299 00:15:12,075 --> 00:15:13,174 You should feel lucky. 300 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,576 Not many boys have parents who can afford 301 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,578 to take them to the opera every night. 302 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,722 Parents who are still alive, I might add. 303 00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:25,348 Hmm, well, this alley looks dangerous. 304 00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:26,964 I better turn my ring around. 305 00:15:28,899 --> 00:15:29,797 Oh, boy. 306 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,860 Hand over your wallet. 307 00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:35,422 You don't frighten me! 308 00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:37,455 Or my wife! 309 00:15:38,882 --> 00:15:40,762 - Or my... - Shut up. 310 00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,722 Avenge me. 311 00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:52,377 In flamboyant, impractical fashion. 312 00:16:06,453 --> 00:16:08,980 I want to avenge you, but I don't know how. 313 00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:11,494 - With my help. - Grandpa? 314 00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:15,087 In my younger days, I was an ace crime fighter. 315 00:16:15,192 --> 00:16:17,211 The "Crimson Cockatoo." 316 00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:23,000 Now let's get you in shape in an old-timey way. 317 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,126 Holy Hannah! 318 00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:43,366 I've got more muscles than a New England clam bank. 319 00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:45,500 Now all I need is a superhero name. 320 00:16:45,707 --> 00:16:48,205 You can be the Crimson Cockaboy. 321 00:16:48,611 --> 00:16:51,108 - Hmm? - I'll keep thinking. 322 00:16:55,822 --> 00:16:56,967 Help! Somebody help! 323 00:16:56,971 --> 00:17:00,361 That thief stole all my Heralds, Tribunes, and Herald-Tribunes. 324 00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:05,971 - A k-k-k-kid! - I'm Bart-Man. 325 00:17:11,042 --> 00:17:12,419 Thank you, masked vigilante. 326 00:17:12,622 --> 00:17:15,222 Your overzealous homicide has saved me 80 cents. 327 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,078 Now, if you're not going to buy anything, please move along. 328 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,754 Tonight, the Springfield... 329 00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:26,409 I mean Gotham underworld is trembling 330 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,612 while solid citizens sleep snug as a bug. 331 00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:31,213 Why? Because Bart-Man is knocking down bad guys 332 00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,135 like Howard Hughes knocks up young starlets! 333 00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:34,598 Bad guys like The Toker... 334 00:17:37,026 --> 00:17:37,822 The Diddler... 335 00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:40,856 Mr. Mole... 336 00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:42,850 Sugar and Spice. 337 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:46,487 And Poison Lenny. 338 00:17:51,268 --> 00:17:52,455 No snake tattoo. 339 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,551 When will I find the man who murdered my parents? 340 00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:57,752 When? 341 00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,054 Attention, Bart-Man. 342 00:17:59,058 --> 00:18:02,147 This is The Serpent, saying "fangs a lot" 343 00:18:02,261 --> 00:18:04,159 for getting rid of the competish. 344 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:06,211 More stuff for me to steal! 345 00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,569 No villain is safe from me, Serpent! 346 00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:12,821 But I'm not a villain. I'm a transvestite. 347 00:18:13,028 --> 00:18:14,453 Explain that to your maker. 348 00:18:18,136 --> 00:18:19,630 I'll take it from here, Bart-Man. 349 00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:34,103 No sign of the Serpent, Chief. 350 00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:35,902 Everything's work with you. Lighten up. 351 00:18:40,617 --> 00:18:43,365 That music-- it's so hypnotic. 352 00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,307 My bone has a mind of its own. 353 00:18:49,978 --> 00:18:53,348 I'll be snaking those jewels and venom gonna go. 354 00:18:53,455 --> 00:18:55,801 Sorry I didn't asp your permission. 355 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,915 Hope that's cobracetic. 356 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,216 Hey, jerk, puns are lazy writing. 357 00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:01,119 D'oh! 358 00:19:05,951 --> 00:19:08,100 Party's over, Serpent! 359 00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,952 No kidding because you're standing in the dip. 360 00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:26,154 You! 361 00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,874 You're the man who killed my parents! 362 00:19:34,178 --> 00:19:35,175 I did it. 363 00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:36,737 I finally got my revenge. 364 00:19:36,794 --> 00:19:38,322 But it didn't bring your parents back. 365 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,192 Tell me, big boy, was it really worth it? 366 00:19:40,198 --> 00:19:42,725 Well, I do feel a little better. 367 00:19:42,731 --> 00:19:45,889 Plus, I got zillions of dollars and no parents to tell me what to do. 368 00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:49,396 Bart-Man, don't you want to join us? 369 00:19:49,399 --> 00:19:51,277 Don't talk to me when I'm vibrating. 370 00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:56,967 So you see, revenge is great, and there's three ways 371 00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,066 to talk about it. 372 00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,920 Although two of the ways were kind of the same way, 373 00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:04,398 and even the third one might have worked better as a Halloween story. 374 00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:06,409 That's okay, boy. 375 00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:08,252 The two of us got to talking. 376 00:20:08,455 --> 00:20:11,155 Yeah, turns out we have a lot in common. 377 00:20:11,363 --> 00:20:12,890 We're both from Connecticut. 378 00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:16,122 Look at all them stars. 379 00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:18,635 How many do you think there are? 380 00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,577 - Two. - What the... 381 00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:23,401 Two? You think there are two... 382 00:20:23,608 --> 00:20:25,977 Well, I never. How could you...? 383 00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:29,359 Why do you think it is that mankind 384 00:20:29,566 --> 00:20:32,166 is so inclined towards hating one another? 385 00:20:32,572 --> 00:20:33,546 I don't know. 386 00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:37,020 Let's just lay here till we figure it out.