1
00:00:28,944 --> 00:00:33,371
Nothing beats taking a family drive
with our new satellite radio.
2
00:00:33,372 --> 00:00:36,844
Which of the 25 easy-listening
stations should we listen to?
3
00:00:36,845 --> 00:00:38,443
I say "Cool Waves."
4
00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:40,102
"Neon Breeze!"
5
00:00:40,103 --> 00:00:41,967
"Chill Thunder!"
"Chill Thunder!"
6
00:00:42,514 --> 00:00:44,285
You're all idiots.
7
00:00:44,286 --> 00:00:47,036
I'm putting it
on "Chill Thunder Lite."
8
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:51,220
Oh, now that's smooth.
9
00:00:52,146 --> 00:00:55,474
Out of my way,
you seat belt-wearin' cowards!
10
00:00:55,477 --> 00:00:57,896
Hey! Nobody cuts me off!
11
00:01:00,219 --> 00:01:01,456
Homer, no!
12
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:03,896
Revenge never solves anything.
13
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:05,840
Then what's America
doing in Iraq?
14
00:01:05,846 --> 00:01:07,391
Well, let me tell you a story
15
00:01:07,398 --> 00:01:09,045
about a time revenge brought
16
00:01:09,051 --> 00:01:11,107
only unhappiness and misery.
17
00:01:11,122 --> 00:01:13,562
It happened
many years ago in Paris.
18
00:01:13,565 --> 00:01:14,493
Texas?
19
00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:16,264
No, France.
20
00:01:16,909 --> 00:01:19,559
There was a happy young family.
21
00:01:21,645 --> 00:01:23,433
Papa, may we
have chocolat?
22
00:01:23,438 --> 00:01:25,376
Papa, may we have
petit fours?
23
00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:27,071
May we? May we?
24
00:01:27,163 --> 00:01:28,773
Mais oui!
25
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,261
Oh, Mon Cher,
26
00:01:35,266 --> 00:01:37,415
I am the luckiest wife
in the entire
27
00:01:37,419 --> 00:01:39,835
16th arrondissement!
28
00:01:39,843 --> 00:01:42,010
Let us kiss
with the tongues.
29
00:01:45,471 --> 00:01:46,916
I hate that Homer jerk
30
00:01:46,922 --> 00:01:48,147
with his beautiful wife
31
00:01:48,155 --> 00:01:49,399
and loving family,
32
00:01:49,405 --> 00:01:51,391
when all I got is this doorway.
33
00:01:51,929 --> 00:01:53,617
Well, enjoy your sensual
34
00:01:53,622 --> 00:01:55,176
tongue-play while you can
35
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:57,540
'cause I've got a plan
to take everything you got!
36
00:02:08,109 --> 00:02:09,506
Monsieur Simpson.
37
00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:12,040
You're under arrest
for treason.
38
00:02:12,058 --> 00:02:14,056
Treason? But I love France.
39
00:02:14,058 --> 00:02:16,336
The way all our words
are either a girl or a guy.
40
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,418
Oh, that's the best.
41
00:02:17,424 --> 00:02:19,711
Tell it to Le baton!
42
00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:24,039
I don't want the kids
43
00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,348
to see me this way.
44
00:02:25,356 --> 00:02:26,462
Don't worry!
45
00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,755
They're still drunk from school.
46
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:34,311
Uh... deux... trois.
47
00:02:39,094 --> 00:02:40,499
Listen to this
letter he wrote.
48
00:02:41,197 --> 00:02:42,192
"Dear England,
49
00:02:42,199 --> 00:02:43,243
"how I love your
50
00:02:43,248 --> 00:02:44,535
moors and heaths.
51
00:02:44,552 --> 00:02:45,499
"For you, I'd do
52
00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:46,798
whatever it takes,
53
00:02:46,984 --> 00:02:49,392
especially treason."
54
00:02:49,397 --> 00:02:50,816
I didn't write that!
55
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,649
Even if I did love England,
56
00:02:52,652 --> 00:02:54,571
I'd play it cool.
57
00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,762
Wait for it to come to me.
58
00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:58,557
I sentence you to life.
59
00:02:58,562 --> 00:03:01,051
You moron! I'm already alive.
60
00:03:01,054 --> 00:03:01,880
In prison.
61
00:03:14,502 --> 00:03:15,651
I'm gonna stop now.
62
00:03:20,903 --> 00:03:22,248
I shouldn't be here.
63
00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:23,520
I was framed.
64
00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:24,991
You think you
got problems?
65
00:03:25,009 --> 00:03:26,613
The man in the
iron mask over there
66
00:03:26,618 --> 00:03:27,958
is the rightful
King of France.
67
00:03:27,962 --> 00:03:29,517
Hey, wait,
did you guys hear that?
68
00:03:29,525 --> 00:03:31,313
He just admitted it. Guys?
69
00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:33,716
Oh, man, this place
is so unfair.
70
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,797
Are you going to torture me?
71
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:36,949
We can't tell you.
72
00:03:36,952 --> 00:03:37,889
Not knowing is
73
00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:39,553
the worst torture of all.
74
00:03:39,557 --> 00:03:41,074
Well, that and
the rat helmet.
75
00:03:44,566 --> 00:03:45,960
Now get some sleep.
76
00:03:45,965 --> 00:03:47,984
You've got a 9:00 a.m.
rat helmet.
77
00:03:48,298 --> 00:03:50,246
Oh, 9:00 a.m.
78
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,736
I swear revenge on Meaux!
79
00:03:57,741 --> 00:03:59,050
Even if it takes me
80
00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:00,753
the rest of my life!
81
00:04:00,757 --> 00:04:01,632
Can you loosen my arms
82
00:04:01,638 --> 00:04:02,805
so I can shake my fists?
83
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:03,768
You're the traitor.
84
00:04:04,340 --> 00:04:06,381
Revenge!
85
00:04:06,544 --> 00:04:07,059
Okay.
86
00:04:07,505 --> 00:04:08,152
Thank you.
87
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,749
Oh, little mouse.
88
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,142
You are the only thing
89
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:16,001
that keeps me sane.
90
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,381
Now I have nothing.
91
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,419
Perhaps
92
00:04:21,425 --> 00:04:22,652
I may be of help.
93
00:04:22,659 --> 00:04:24,677
Where did you come from?
94
00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,065
I'm your cell mate.
95
00:04:26,071 --> 00:04:27,820
You never noticed me
because frankly,
96
00:04:27,823 --> 00:04:29,640
you're extremely self-centered.
97
00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:31,393
Oh, sorry, I wasn't listening.
98
00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:32,948
I was checking out my reflection
99
00:04:32,951 --> 00:04:34,229
in this yellow water.
100
00:04:34,235 --> 00:04:36,860
Ho-ho-ho-ho, looking good.
101
00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:38,713
Young man, I have the answer
102
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:39,996
to your problems.
103
00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,746
I spent 30 years
digging this tunnel,
104
00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,619
but now I can't use it.
105
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,741
I'm simply too old.
106
00:04:50,746 --> 00:04:51,894
And decrepit.
107
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:54,298
But you can escape
108
00:04:54,313 --> 00:04:55,689
and use this map
to retrieve
109
00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:57,148
my buried treasure.
110
00:04:57,156 --> 00:04:59,672
With it you can
have your revenge.
111
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:01,434
Ooh, the-the!
112
00:05:01,442 --> 00:05:03,979
But why are you helping me?
113
00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:05,680
Well, because before
114
00:05:05,685 --> 00:05:06,643
my wretched life
115
00:05:06,648 --> 00:05:07,873
comes to a close,
116
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,148
I want to know that
117
00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:11,149
I had one friend.
118
00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,790
Also, because while you slept,
119
00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:14,635
I violated you repeatedly.
120
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,655
So this map leads
to a treasure, huh?
121
00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:20,871
I wonder how long
this tunnel
122
00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:22,435
...iiiiiiiis!
123
00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:32,621
D'oh!
124
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,626
Damn it!
125
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,635
How's it going?
126
00:05:53,191 --> 00:05:54,118
D'oh!
127
00:05:55,895 --> 00:05:57,584
Uh-huh. Hmm.
128
00:05:59,452 --> 00:06:00,358
Mon Dieu!
129
00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:06,956
Whoo-hoo-hee!
130
00:06:08,914 --> 00:06:10,490
Ew! Silver.
131
00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:12,184
Ooh, a penny.
132
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:14,148
This is my lucky day!
133
00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:25,351
FrÚre Jacques,
FrÚre Jacques,
134
00:06:25,359 --> 00:06:28,778
Dormez-vous,
dormez-vous
135
00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:30,398
Oh, I love today's music.
136
00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,562
FrÚre this, and Jacques that.
137
00:06:32,568 --> 00:06:33,243
Out of sight.
138
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,009
"The Count of Monte Cristo
139
00:06:38,025 --> 00:06:40,161
invites you to a formal gala."
140
00:06:40,179 --> 00:06:42,937
Ooh, the Count of Monte Cristo!
141
00:06:44,573 --> 00:06:45,349
Can we go?
142
00:06:45,354 --> 00:06:46,019
We haven't been
143
00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:46,869
to any parties
144
00:06:46,869 --> 00:06:47,886
since that soirie
145
00:06:47,886 --> 00:06:49,165
at the Bastille.
146
00:06:49,353 --> 00:06:49,918
Ah...
147
00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:51,118
summer nights.
148
00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,396
When will we meet
the count?
149
00:06:56,402 --> 00:06:57,475
Do you think
he'll like us?
150
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,038
I've heard rumors
he's mysterious.
151
00:07:11,289 --> 00:07:13,390
Madame, you have the shapely,
152
00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,260
hairless knuckles of a queen.
153
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,985
Oh. Well.
154
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:18,316
Monsieur Meaux,
155
00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:19,035
I would be honored
156
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,467
if you would be the first
157
00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:23,294
to enjoy the evening's
entertainment.
158
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,084
Here it is:
159
00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:26,849
the harmless chair
160
00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:28,158
of relaxation.
161
00:07:28,935 --> 00:07:30,402
I heard about these things.
162
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,996
They're good for
doing the wife, right?
163
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:32,817
Oh!
164
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:33,996
Little do you know
165
00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:35,169
that the Count of Monte Cristo
166
00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:35,950
is in fact
167
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,303
an old acquaintance of yours.
168
00:07:38,769 --> 00:07:39,303
Ma?
169
00:07:39,821 --> 00:07:42,288
I have returned!
170
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,869
I don't get it.
171
00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:45,112
Oh, hold on.
172
00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:46,925
It's him!
173
00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:47,955
Monsieur Simpson!
174
00:07:47,961 --> 00:07:49,707
Homer, you're back!
175
00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:51,633
Oui, oui! And I have spent
176
00:07:51,635 --> 00:07:53,494
the last five years
plotting the most
177
00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,315
exquisite revenge!
178
00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:08,605
Okay, lesson learned.
179
00:08:08,619 --> 00:08:09,615
Friends again?
180
00:08:13,446 --> 00:08:14,153
Crêpes?
181
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,209
Suzette!
182
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:24,686
Homer?
183
00:08:24,941 --> 00:08:26,311
Yes, my love?
184
00:08:26,325 --> 00:08:28,592
You killed
my husband.
185
00:08:29,741 --> 00:08:30,775
No!
186
00:08:30,782 --> 00:08:31,839
Papa Meaux!
187
00:08:31,854 --> 00:08:32,657
Papa Meaux!
188
00:08:32,663 --> 00:08:34,301
You guys liked him?
189
00:08:34,596 --> 00:08:37,233
We were together
for five years.
190
00:08:37,241 --> 00:08:39,668
Now who's going
to take care of the triplets?
191
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,274
But Marge,
192
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,049
I did it all for you.
193
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,061
For me, huh?
194
00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:49,680
What took you so long?
195
00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:50,704
It takes time
196
00:08:50,708 --> 00:08:52,204
to make a revenge machine
197
00:08:52,212 --> 00:08:53,198
this awesome.
198
00:08:53,202 --> 00:08:54,138
Plus, in the middle,
199
00:08:54,143 --> 00:08:55,208
I had to take revenge
200
00:08:55,214 --> 00:08:56,591
on some of my contractors.
201
00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:58,375
You spent so much time
202
00:08:58,378 --> 00:08:59,917
plotting your revenge,
203
00:08:59,923 --> 00:09:01,039
you lost everything
204
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,330
that really mattered.
205
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,621
Come on, kids.
206
00:09:07,343 --> 00:09:08,930
So you see, Homer,
207
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:11,614
revenge only leads to misery.
208
00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:16,878
Weren't you listening?
209
00:09:16,885 --> 00:09:18,413
I just told you a whole story
210
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:19,854
about revenge.
211
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,024
Oh right.
212
00:09:21,752 --> 00:09:23,330
Revenge!
213
00:09:26,377 --> 00:09:29,146
I'm gonna get my revenge,
and if I get caught,
214
00:09:29,222 --> 00:09:31,740
I'm pinning it on the baby
like the time I shot Mr. Burns.
215
00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:32,580
Dad, wait.
216
00:09:32,637 --> 00:09:34,905
I've got a story
about why revenge is wrong.
217
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,331
Is it The Count of Monte Cristo?
'Cause I love that story.
218
00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:39,229
No.
219
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,407
I call it
Revenge of the Geeks.
220
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,858
I'm so sick of those bullies.
221
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:54,391
We got to figure out
some way to stop 'em.
222
00:09:54,397 --> 00:09:56,166
Perhaps we could tell
the principal.
223
00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,187
Tell me what?
224
00:10:02,146 --> 00:10:04,897
Behold the Get-back-inator.
225
00:10:06,275 --> 00:10:08,711
We're gonna beat those bullies
with a glove?
226
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,596
This is far more than a mere glove.
227
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:15,871
This is the turning point in the
eternal battle of brain v. brawn.
228
00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:19,717
All it requires is
a small amount of coordination.
229
00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:26,617
I can handle the glove.
I took juggling at camp.
230
00:10:31,488 --> 00:10:33,075
Good morning, dinguses.
231
00:10:33,112 --> 00:10:35,768
What are you doing,
touching each other's butts?
232
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:38,942
Oh, you are so dead
you're alive.
233
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,155
What is this place?
234
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,054
Ah, what a pleasant surprise.
235
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:56,537
It seems that now
the shoe is on the other...
236
00:10:56,543 --> 00:10:57,538
Revenge!
237
00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:07,862
My fun bags!
238
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,598
Please, have mercy!
239
00:11:10,682 --> 00:11:12,741
I always thought
you were the coolest dork.
240
00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:24,657
Stop hitting yourself.
241
00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:26,780
Stop hitting yourself.
242
00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,361
Stop hitting yourself.
243
00:11:28,418 --> 00:11:30,036
Why are you hitting yourself?
244
00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:37,554
Milhouse, thanks to you,
the nerds can breathe easy.
245
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,327
Except the ones with asthma,
which is all of them.
246
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:41,879
But still, it's great.
247
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:46,506
Yup, having a weapon at school
has really made things awesome.
248
00:11:49,247 --> 00:11:49,912
Pardon my birdie.
249
00:11:50,115 --> 00:11:52,146
I misjudged the prevailing winds.
250
00:11:52,198 --> 00:11:54,526
You embarrassed me
in front of Lisa!
251
00:12:03,565 --> 00:12:05,542
Milhouse, what's gotten into you?
252
00:12:05,598 --> 00:12:08,319
Over the years,
a lot of people have hurt me.
253
00:12:08,374 --> 00:12:10,922
Good thing I kept this list.
254
00:12:13,748 --> 00:12:15,856
Oh, no, you've already
got your revenge!
255
00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:19,121
You wouldn't give me
Chinese cuts in the lunch line.
256
00:12:19,228 --> 00:12:23,268
You laughed when I threw up
on the glass-blowing tour.
257
00:12:23,772 --> 00:12:25,381
Girls like you better.
258
00:12:25,888 --> 00:12:27,916
Your parents are married!
259
00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:31,350
Ay caramba!
260
00:12:32,495 --> 00:12:35,355
That's the only line I get
in your stupid story?!
261
00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:38,140
There are no small parts,
just small actors.
262
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,567
This is my first day
at this school.
263
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,289
I haven't done anything to you!
264
00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:48,123
You will.
This is prevenge.
265
00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:56,053
Why, look, it's Milhouse.
266
00:12:56,158 --> 00:12:57,726
What's the power glove for?
267
00:12:57,790 --> 00:13:00,991
Opening the cup on
your weirdo pills?
268
00:13:05,089 --> 00:13:06,467
Willie, clean up this mess.
269
00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:07,668
All right.
270
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,229
Milhouse, don't you see?
271
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,851
You're addicted to revenge.
272
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,515
You'll learn to love it
when you're my queen.
273
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,057
I see.
274
00:13:21,363 --> 00:13:23,780
While it would be an honor
to be your queen...
275
00:13:24,188 --> 00:13:25,784
Go on.
276
00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:28,970
...I feel it would be best
if we just stay friends.
277
00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:31,774
Nobody spares my feelings!
278
00:13:35,942 --> 00:13:37,402
I can't do it.
279
00:13:37,606 --> 00:13:39,622
I can't hurt you, Lisa.
280
00:13:45,686 --> 00:13:48,235
You forgot about me
'cause I had the mumps.
281
00:13:57,875 --> 00:14:00,791
That had what I really
like in a story:
282
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,397
an ending.
283
00:14:02,502 --> 00:14:05,258
The point, Dad,
is that when you take revenge,
284
00:14:05,403 --> 00:14:08,203
you become just as bad
as the person you harm.
285
00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:12,921
No, sweetie, the lesson is:
never put down your weapon.
286
00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:16,095
Revenge!
287
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:19,921
Look at that view.
288
00:14:20,223 --> 00:14:23,946
It reminds me of how insignificant
we are in the world.
289
00:14:24,151 --> 00:14:25,347
Yeehaw!
290
00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,160
This is it.
291
00:14:28,365 --> 00:14:30,043
It's taken all day.
292
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:35,121
We've missed our flight to Hawaii,
but finally I'll get my revenge.
293
00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:36,724
Dad, wait!
294
00:14:36,829 --> 00:14:38,876
- You haven't heard my story.
- You?
295
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,728
You're too dumb to tell a story.
296
00:14:42,535 --> 00:14:46,718
No, seriously, you're great.
Let's hear it. Oh, geez.
297
00:14:46,821 --> 00:14:50,843
My story takes place
in a time I call the past.
298
00:15:10,373 --> 00:15:11,973
That stunk worse
than boiled cabbage.
299
00:15:12,075 --> 00:15:13,174
You should feel lucky.
300
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,576
Not many boys have
parents who can afford
301
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,578
to take them to the
opera every night.
302
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:20,722
Parents who are still alive,
I might add.
303
00:15:23,191 --> 00:15:25,348
Hmm, well, this alley
looks dangerous.
304
00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:26,964
I better turn my ring around.
305
00:15:28,899 --> 00:15:29,797
Oh, boy.
306
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,860
Hand over your wallet.
307
00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:35,422
You don't frighten me!
308
00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:37,455
Or my wife!
309
00:15:38,882 --> 00:15:40,762
- Or my...
- Shut up.
310
00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:47,722
Avenge me.
311
00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:52,377
In flamboyant,
impractical fashion.
312
00:16:06,453 --> 00:16:08,980
I want to avenge you,
but I don't know how.
313
00:16:09,184 --> 00:16:11,494
- With my help.
- Grandpa?
314
00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:15,087
In my younger days,
I was an ace crime fighter.
315
00:16:15,192 --> 00:16:17,211
The "Crimson Cockatoo."
316
00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:23,000
Now let's get you in shape
in an old-timey way.
317
00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,126
Holy Hannah!
318
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:43,366
I've got more muscles
than a New England clam bank.
319
00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:45,500
Now all I need
is a superhero name.
320
00:16:45,707 --> 00:16:48,205
You can be the
Crimson Cockaboy.
321
00:16:48,611 --> 00:16:51,108
- Hmm?
- I'll keep thinking.
322
00:16:55,822 --> 00:16:56,967
Help! Somebody help!
323
00:16:56,971 --> 00:17:00,361
That thief stole all my Heralds,
Tribunes, and Herald-Tribunes.
324
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:05,971
- A k-k-k-kid!
- I'm Bart-Man.
325
00:17:11,042 --> 00:17:12,419
Thank you, masked vigilante.
326
00:17:12,622 --> 00:17:15,222
Your overzealous homicide
has saved me 80 cents.
327
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,078
Now, if you're not going to buy
anything, please move along.
328
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,754
Tonight, the Springfield...
329
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:26,409
I mean Gotham underworld
is trembling
330
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,612
while solid citizens sleep
snug as a bug.
331
00:17:28,616 --> 00:17:31,213
Why? Because Bart-Man
is knocking down bad guys
332
00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,135
like Howard Hughes
knocks up young starlets!
333
00:17:33,211 --> 00:17:34,598
Bad guys like
The Toker...
334
00:17:37,026 --> 00:17:37,822
The Diddler...
335
00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:40,856
Mr. Mole...
336
00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:42,850
Sugar and Spice.
337
00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:46,487
And Poison Lenny.
338
00:17:51,268 --> 00:17:52,455
No snake tattoo.
339
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,551
When will I find the man
who murdered my parents?
340
00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:57,752
When?
341
00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,054
Attention, Bart-Man.
342
00:17:59,058 --> 00:18:02,147
This is The Serpent,
saying "fangs a lot"
343
00:18:02,261 --> 00:18:04,159
for getting rid
of the competish.
344
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:06,211
More stuff for me to steal!
345
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,569
No villain is safe from me,
Serpent!
346
00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:12,821
But I'm not a villain.
I'm a transvestite.
347
00:18:13,028 --> 00:18:14,453
Explain that to your maker.
348
00:18:18,136 --> 00:18:19,630
I'll take it from here,
Bart-Man.
349
00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:34,103
No sign of
the Serpent, Chief.
350
00:18:34,255 --> 00:18:35,902
Everything's work
with you. Lighten up.
351
00:18:40,617 --> 00:18:43,365
That music--
it's so hypnotic.
352
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,307
My bone has a mind of its own.
353
00:18:49,978 --> 00:18:53,348
I'll be snaking those jewels
and venom gonna go.
354
00:18:53,455 --> 00:18:55,801
Sorry I didn't asp
your permission.
355
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,915
Hope that's cobracetic.
356
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:00,216
Hey, jerk,
puns are lazy writing.
357
00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:01,119
D'oh!
358
00:19:05,951 --> 00:19:08,100
Party's over, Serpent!
359
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,952
No kidding because
you're standing in the dip.
360
00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:26,154
You!
361
00:19:26,260 --> 00:19:27,874
You're the man
who killed my parents!
362
00:19:34,178 --> 00:19:35,175
I did it.
363
00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:36,737
I finally got my revenge.
364
00:19:36,794 --> 00:19:38,322
But it didn't bring
your parents back.
365
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,192
Tell me, big boy,
was it really worth it?
366
00:19:40,198 --> 00:19:42,725
Well, I do feel a little better.
367
00:19:42,731 --> 00:19:45,889
Plus, I got zillions of dollars
and no parents to tell me what to do.
368
00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:49,396
Bart-Man, don't you want to join us?
369
00:19:49,399 --> 00:19:51,277
Don't talk to me
when I'm vibrating.
370
00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:56,967
So you see, revenge is great,
and there's three ways
371
00:19:57,072 --> 00:19:58,066
to talk about it.
372
00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,920
Although two of the ways
were kind of the same way,
373
00:20:01,128 --> 00:20:04,398
and even the third one might have
worked better as a Halloween story.
374
00:20:05,383 --> 00:20:06,409
That's okay, boy.
375
00:20:06,514 --> 00:20:08,252
The two of us got to talking.
376
00:20:08,455 --> 00:20:11,155
Yeah, turns out we have
a lot in common.
377
00:20:11,363 --> 00:20:12,890
We're both from Connecticut.
378
00:20:14,596 --> 00:20:16,122
Look at all them stars.
379
00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:18,635
How many do you think there are?
380
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,577
- Two.
- What the...
381
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:23,401
Two? You think
there are two...
382
00:20:23,608 --> 00:20:25,977
Well, I never.
How could you...?
383
00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:29,359
Why do you think
it is that mankind
384
00:20:29,566 --> 00:20:32,166
is so inclined towards
hating one another?
385
00:20:32,572 --> 00:20:33,546
I don't know.
386
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:37,020
Let's just lay here
till we figure it out.