1 00:00:36,116 --> 00:00:38,048 Homer, what took you so long? 2 00:00:38,049 --> 00:00:39,560 The game's almost over. 3 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,309 I got hung up at the snack stand 4 00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:42,658 watching those hot dogs 5 00:00:42,659 --> 00:00:44,486 rolling and turning, 6 00:00:44,487 --> 00:00:46,714 not a care in the world. 7 00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:49,733 No more lazy Saturdays for you. 8 00:00:59,561 --> 00:01:01,040 Strike two! 9 00:01:02,251 --> 00:01:04,438 By my calculations, we're only 10 00:01:04,452 --> 00:01:06,341 one strike away from victory. 11 00:01:06,341 --> 00:01:07,740 Numbers are fun. 12 00:01:07,792 --> 00:01:08,935 This is it, boys. 13 00:01:08,942 --> 00:01:11,857 One more out and we go to the championship game. 14 00:01:11,901 --> 00:01:13,598 Let's do it for Groundskeeper Willie, 15 00:01:13,653 --> 00:01:14,929 who made me this beautiful 16 00:01:14,934 --> 00:01:16,262 black bicep warmer! 17 00:01:16,278 --> 00:01:18,213 It keeps me naughty hands busy. 18 00:01:23,592 --> 00:01:25,852 I got it! I got it! 19 00:01:26,806 --> 00:01:28,644 I hogged it! I hogged it! 20 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:33,588 My son caught the ball! 21 00:01:33,604 --> 00:01:35,151 This makes up for everything 22 00:01:35,154 --> 00:01:36,963 that's gone wrong in my life 23 00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,202 or ever will! 24 00:01:38,218 --> 00:01:40,324 I'm also pleased! 25 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,527 After years of failure in everything we've attempted, 26 00:01:43,531 --> 00:01:46,672 we are one victory away from a championship, people. 27 00:01:46,676 --> 00:01:48,453 And our new-found glory is all 28 00:01:48,459 --> 00:01:50,814 due to these wonderful boys. 29 00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:56,019 Behold my naked butt! 30 00:01:58,138 --> 00:02:00,895 Each cheek is a god to you! 31 00:02:00,898 --> 00:02:02,674 Now Bart, stay humble. 32 00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:05,218 Your baseball cap won't fit over a swelled head. 33 00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:06,731 Flanders, these boys 34 00:02:06,734 --> 00:02:07,880 have earned the right 35 00:02:07,905 --> 00:02:09,861 to behave like arrogant oafs. 36 00:02:09,866 --> 00:02:11,212 Can we egg the crowd? 37 00:02:11,219 --> 00:02:13,706 In this modern-day Deadwood you can do anything. 38 00:02:13,711 --> 00:02:15,136 All right. 39 00:02:19,397 --> 00:02:21,232 Smithers, I'm missing the fun! 40 00:02:21,237 --> 00:02:22,445 Upsy-daisy, sir. 41 00:02:23,082 --> 00:02:25,637 Ah, what glorious goo! 42 00:02:27,645 --> 00:02:28,772 I need a dress to wear 43 00:02:28,777 --> 00:02:30,341 for my son's big game. 44 00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:32,355 He's the star, I'm his mom, 45 00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:33,405 and he's my son. 46 00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:34,976 Mm-hmm, you've mentioned his name 47 00:02:34,983 --> 00:02:36,770 and batting average several times. 48 00:02:36,775 --> 00:02:38,319 Well, he's done very well for someone 49 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,242 who came out blue and backwards. 50 00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:43,086 Listen, do you mind if I hum while you talk? 51 00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:44,147 Not at all! 52 00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:46,267 He single-handedly got the team 53 00:02:46,273 --> 00:02:48,451 to the championship, first time ever. 54 00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:50,612 My son caught the ball that won the game. 55 00:02:51,698 --> 00:02:53,653 I hate shopping! 56 00:02:53,698 --> 00:02:55,638 I'm bored; my feet hurt; 57 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,948 I'm too big for the choo-choo train. 58 00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,138 Hmm... 59 00:02:59,143 --> 00:03:01,822 where's the "husband chair"? 60 00:03:03,780 --> 00:03:05,645 Unless you're serving me a cold beer, 61 00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:06,567 you keep moving. 62 00:03:06,582 --> 00:03:07,468 Oh! 63 00:03:07,895 --> 00:03:09,350 There must be another chair. 64 00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:12,562 Eh-eh. 65 00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,495 My wife's lookin' for a bathing suit 66 00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,087 that doesn't make her look "horsey." 67 00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:18,167 So, I'm gonna be here a while. 68 00:03:19,193 --> 00:03:20,130 Mm-hmm. 69 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,396 I guess I could just sit on a bed. 70 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,130 Wow, this is soft. 71 00:03:31,214 --> 00:03:34,304 Sure feels weird lying on top of the covers. 72 00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:38,477 Sure feels weird lying in bed with my pants on. 73 00:03:44,468 --> 00:03:45,744 What in the name of...? 74 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:46,626 Hey, you! 75 00:03:46,632 --> 00:03:47,976 Whoa! How many? 76 00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:50,690 Are you sleeping in the middle of my department store? 77 00:03:50,976 --> 00:03:51,651 Well... 78 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,212 who wouldn't 79 00:03:53,217 --> 00:03:55,354 with an incredible mattress like this? 80 00:03:55,358 --> 00:03:57,755 It works with my body's natural curves 81 00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,476 and supports my back-boobs. 82 00:03:59,493 --> 00:04:01,921 That's the best endorsement I've heard 83 00:04:01,923 --> 00:04:04,013 since Mickey Mantle for Maypo! 84 00:04:04,017 --> 00:04:06,564 I'll take five mattresses. 85 00:04:07,151 --> 00:04:08,086 I don't work here. 86 00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,676 You do now, son! 87 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,468 You're hired! 88 00:04:14,178 --> 00:04:15,093 Woo-hoo! 89 00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:20,298 All this fuss for a baseball game? 90 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:24,041 Why don't thousands come to watch a teacher inspire a child? 91 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,362 But it did happen. 92 00:04:25,368 --> 00:04:28,557 Just yesterday, in Crazytown! 93 00:04:30,123 --> 00:04:34,022 So, in the amber gloaming of this September afternoon, 94 00:04:34,027 --> 00:04:36,602 Shelbyville has the bases loaded, 95 00:04:36,608 --> 00:04:38,916 but the Isotopes only need one out 96 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:43,150 to win the championship and get that pizza party at Luigi's! 97 00:04:43,153 --> 00:04:47,145 Luigi's, they deliver on flavor, but not to your house! 98 00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:48,475 Damas y caballeros, 99 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,047 if the Isotopes win, please do not fire your guns in the air. 100 00:04:52,051 --> 00:04:53,598 The bullets will come down! 101 00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:55,523 And kill my sister. 102 00:05:00,262 --> 00:05:03,979 A lazy pop fly to star shortstop Bart Simpson. 103 00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:05,850 And this should do it! 104 00:05:05,854 --> 00:05:08,072 Now for the defining moment of my life. 105 00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:20,884 Huh? 106 00:05:30,751 --> 00:05:33,108 Simpson drops the ball! 107 00:05:33,824 --> 00:05:35,010 And he kicks it! 108 00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:37,253 And he kicks it again! And again! 109 00:05:37,256 --> 00:05:39,263 Oh, it's horrible, but you can't 110 00:05:39,278 --> 00:05:40,625 take your eyes away! 111 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,355 It's like watching a monkey 112 00:05:42,361 --> 00:05:44,179 swallow a hand grenade. 113 00:05:44,234 --> 00:05:46,839 The Isotopes lose the pennant! 114 00:05:46,844 --> 00:05:49,954 The Isotopes lose the pennant! 115 00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:02,977 Bart, you choked! 116 00:06:02,981 --> 00:06:05,278 I put on fresh makeup for this? 117 00:06:10,546 --> 00:06:11,473 Knock it off! 118 00:06:11,478 --> 00:06:12,745 He's just a kid! 119 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:14,858 Aw, hey that's the guy what created him! 120 00:06:14,863 --> 00:06:16,467 If Homer had used some protection, 121 00:06:16,472 --> 00:06:19,091 we'd all be poopin' roses on easy street! 122 00:06:19,258 --> 00:06:20,821 Hey, get off my case! 123 00:06:20,826 --> 00:06:22,214 He's the choke artist! 124 00:06:27,725 --> 00:06:29,351 Quick, Bart, Bart, get in! 125 00:06:31,469 --> 00:06:32,385 Thanks, Chief. 126 00:06:32,397 --> 00:06:33,514 Don't mention it, son. 127 00:06:37,984 --> 00:06:39,132 He's back! 128 00:06:39,135 --> 00:06:41,042 Go nuts, everyone! 129 00:06:52,096 --> 00:06:53,443 Bart's coming down! 130 00:06:53,449 --> 00:06:54,997 Hide the sports section! 131 00:06:59,134 --> 00:06:59,769 D'oh! 132 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:05,206 Good morning, sweetie. 133 00:07:05,211 --> 00:07:06,428 There's nothing you can say. 134 00:07:06,432 --> 00:07:08,147 After that game, my life is over. 135 00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:10,359 Was there even a baseball game yesterday? 136 00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:11,532 I don't remember... 137 00:07:11,536 --> 00:07:15,767 Marge, we were just talking about it a few seconds ago. 138 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:19,399 Don't you have to get to your job as a mattress salesman? 139 00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:20,488 Oh, yeah. 140 00:07:20,495 --> 00:07:21,843 Let's see where that goes. 141 00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:23,863 Let me tell you about a land where it 142 00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:26,604 rains beer and hails pretzels 143 00:07:26,608 --> 00:07:29,849 and you can play swim-up blackjack with Abraham Lincoln. 144 00:07:29,868 --> 00:07:32,270 It's the land of sleep. 145 00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,693 And your passport: 146 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,755 a simple mattress. 147 00:07:37,663 --> 00:07:40,468 Yes, I need to be able to sleep through my wife's nagging 148 00:07:40,475 --> 00:07:42,499 and my eight horrible babies 149 00:07:42,507 --> 00:07:44,925 and the anguished howls of my ancestors. 150 00:07:44,929 --> 00:07:46,166 A common problem. 151 00:07:46,169 --> 00:07:46,985 Try this. 152 00:07:48,721 --> 00:07:49,718 Oh. Ooh. 153 00:07:50,064 --> 00:07:53,330 Oh, I feel like I'm floating on a river of corpses. 154 00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:56,355 Homer, we have a friend-- 155 00:07:56,361 --> 00:07:58,776 actually a friend of a friend... 156 00:07:58,783 --> 00:07:59,788 Sex problem, eh?! 157 00:07:59,792 --> 00:08:00,539 Homer, please. 158 00:08:00,543 --> 00:08:02,751 They can hear you in Fine China. 159 00:08:02,754 --> 00:08:06,495 Relax. I'm a licensed mattress professional, 160 00:08:06,497 --> 00:08:08,486 if there were such a thing, 161 00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:11,330 and I've got the answer to your problems: 162 00:08:11,332 --> 00:08:14,962 The Snugulux by Matrimonium. 163 00:08:15,926 --> 00:08:17,903 Ooh, sold. 164 00:08:18,522 --> 00:08:19,535 And remember: 165 00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:22,920 your most intimate secrets are safe with me. 166 00:08:22,924 --> 00:08:24,971 Okay, who else is dead in bed? 167 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,903 You're listening to KBBL, 168 00:08:26,909 --> 00:08:29,565 your official "Bart Simpson sucks" station. 169 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:32,138 Oh-ho, and here comes another "Bash Bart Block," 170 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:32,978 starting with this 171 00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:35,102 entry from Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney. 172 00:08:35,368 --> 00:08:37,055 Bart stinks 173 00:08:38,099 --> 00:08:39,477 Yeah, yeah 174 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:40,728 Bart stinks 175 00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:42,468 Bart stinks 176 00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:44,709 Yeah, yeah 177 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,112 Bart stinks... 178 00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,396 Oh, my favorite song ruined! 179 00:08:53,522 --> 00:08:54,719 Bart, come with me. 180 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:57,164 I'll take you to someone who will make you feel better. 181 00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,935 Is it my rabbit Cottontail? 182 00:08:58,941 --> 00:09:00,615 The one who went to live upstate? 183 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:01,677 He died, Bart. 184 00:09:01,892 --> 00:09:03,990 Dad buried him in the backyard. 185 00:09:04,184 --> 00:09:05,731 But not in that order. 186 00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:15,368 Bart, meet Joe LaBoot. 187 00:09:15,496 --> 00:09:17,542 LaBoot, LaBoot. 188 00:09:17,655 --> 00:09:19,204 Sounds familiar. 189 00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:23,978 You probably remember me from 1943 World Series. 190 00:09:23,983 --> 00:09:25,909 With the score tied in game seven, 191 00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:29,313 Tommy Heinrich of the Yankees hit a ball in my direction. 192 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,246 Jugglin' Joe LaBoot they called me. 193 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,706 When I finally picked up the ball, 194 00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:35,941 I threw it into the stands, hitting Eleanor Roosevelt, 195 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,261 who up till then had been a great beauty. 196 00:09:39,149 --> 00:09:41,804 We lost the game and the series. 197 00:09:41,809 --> 00:09:43,195 But I bounced back. 198 00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:44,667 Got my own car dealership. 199 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:48,291 I have 17 grandchildren and a big home in Idaho. 200 00:09:48,618 --> 00:09:50,114 It's a great life! 201 00:09:50,117 --> 00:09:51,525 Yeah, in Idaho. 202 00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:54,167 And at these card shows, the fans let me know 203 00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:56,023 that I've put my gaffe behind me. 204 00:09:56,023 --> 00:09:57,760 You stink, LaBoot! 205 00:09:57,986 --> 00:10:00,102 No, I don't! Google my stats! 206 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,417 Take it from me, kid, you'll be just fine. 207 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:04,797 Feel better now, Bart? 208 00:10:05,081 --> 00:10:06,961 "Bart?!" Are you Bart Simpson? 209 00:10:07,713 --> 00:10:10,051 The kid who dropped that easy fly ball?! 210 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,453 You stink like a Dutchman's throw-up. 211 00:10:12,618 --> 00:10:14,956 Talking to you was the biggest error of my life! 212 00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:19,081 Boo. Boo, indeed. 213 00:10:27,102 --> 00:10:28,131 The Lovejoys?! 214 00:10:28,296 --> 00:10:31,221 If this is about me drinking that holy water, let me tell you, 215 00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:33,794 I had had like a million Doritos. 216 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,588 You know, the ones with the flame on the bag? 217 00:10:35,752 --> 00:10:37,149 Oh-ho, that bag ain't lyin'! 218 00:10:37,334 --> 00:10:39,692 - We're here about the mattress. - What's wrong with it? 219 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:43,533 We tried raising Cain, but we weren't able. 220 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:46,137 Oh, I think I know what you're doing wrong. 221 00:10:46,363 --> 00:10:47,679 Have you tried... 222 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,815 I know the mechanics of lovemaking, Homer! 223 00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:54,464 You owe us a refund! 224 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,466 I'll write you a check. 225 00:10:57,764 --> 00:11:02,071 "Pay to the order of Stupid Reverend. 226 00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:04,994 Memo: Bite my ass." 227 00:11:06,783 --> 00:11:07,649 Wha...?! 228 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,173 Homer, I'm not a man who believes in miracles, 229 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:16,115 but this bed of yours could resurrect our sex life. 230 00:11:16,539 --> 00:11:19,340 If you let us have your mattress, we'll give you ours. 231 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,441 On one condition: you do the shlepping. 232 00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,785 Well, I'll have to check with my wife. 233 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,163 Move over just a... 234 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:46,485 - Ow, well, maybe if you g.. - No, wrong, wrong, wrong! 235 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,435 I'm sorry, Homie. 236 00:11:48,633 --> 00:11:51,550 I want to snuggle, but I'm just not feeling it. 237 00:11:51,764 --> 00:11:55,865 Yeah, something has changed, but I can't figure out what. 238 00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:58,124 Our mattress! 239 00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:00,328 I traded it to the Lovejoys! 240 00:12:00,573 --> 00:12:01,961 You traded our mattress? 241 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,093 I had my secret cash in it. 242 00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:05,782 Oh, that's long gone, baby. 243 00:12:06,050 --> 00:12:07,173 Long gone. 244 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,120 It was made for Elvis, but he found it tacky. 245 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:16,174 But I can't believe a mattress could make that much difference. 246 00:12:16,727 --> 00:12:18,575 This little light of mine 247 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:21,009 I'm gonna let it shine Oh, glory 248 00:12:21,163 --> 00:12:24,559 This little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine 249 00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:27,282 Every day, every day 250 00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:31,657 Every day Yay, yay, yay! 251 00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:39,195 Lousy Reverend, he's having my sex while I'm at home with Marge 252 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,767 not doing anything sensual or erotic. 253 00:13:03,314 --> 00:13:06,591 A damp sponge will take care of this weak, water-based... 254 00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:08,204 It's oil-based! 255 00:13:08,419 --> 00:13:10,214 - Oil-based! - Daddy? 256 00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:12,336 Fetch Daddy's thinner, boy. 257 00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:14,158 But it's in the "stay away" closet. 258 00:13:14,254 --> 00:13:15,261 You just fetch it! 259 00:13:26,366 --> 00:13:28,271 Who would do this to Bart? 260 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:31,493 The person who hates Bart more than anyone else. 261 00:13:31,671 --> 00:13:32,665 Look! 262 00:13:34,603 --> 00:13:37,031 Oh, yeah, that's really something. 263 00:13:37,154 --> 00:13:38,933 Mom, put your glasses on. 264 00:13:39,036 --> 00:13:40,593 But they make me look dowdy. 265 00:13:43,883 --> 00:13:45,150 My baby! 266 00:13:51,138 --> 00:13:52,876 See? I hate me, too. 267 00:13:53,562 --> 00:13:54,699 Now we can be friends again. 268 00:13:55,975 --> 00:13:56,980 Bart, stop! 269 00:13:57,156 --> 00:13:59,423 No one's mad at you anymore, right? 270 00:13:59,869 --> 00:14:01,465 Yeah. Yeah. You know. 271 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,355 Jump! 272 00:14:03,030 --> 00:14:04,085 Who-Who said that? 273 00:14:04,453 --> 00:14:05,349 I hate Bart Simpson! 274 00:14:07,384 --> 00:14:08,700 I got him! I got him! 275 00:14:10,229 --> 00:14:11,962 You stink, LaBoot! 276 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,006 Damn it! 277 00:14:16,091 --> 00:14:17,099 He'll be all right. 278 00:14:17,454 --> 00:14:20,242 Right now he just needs peace and quiet. 279 00:14:20,788 --> 00:14:23,043 Bart sucks! Bart sucks! 280 00:14:23,218 --> 00:14:25,337 Bart sucks! Bart sucks! 281 00:14:25,722 --> 00:14:27,808 You should all be ashamed! 282 00:14:27,974 --> 00:14:31,313 Passing judgment on a child for a sports boo-boo! 283 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,145 What have you people ever done? 284 00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:35,676 Well, I wrote a best-selling series of mystery novels. 285 00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:39,049 Stephen King called it, "Scary, good fun." 286 00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:40,653 Besides that. 287 00:14:42,247 --> 00:14:43,374 Now, thanks to you, 288 00:14:43,469 --> 00:14:48,450 my special little guy will be haunted by this for the rest of his life. 289 00:14:48,782 --> 00:14:50,419 I always thought that was just a slogan 290 00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:52,172 to attract small businesses. 291 00:14:54,309 --> 00:14:56,275 But now I know it's the truth. 292 00:14:58,634 --> 00:14:59,641 Okay, Midge. 293 00:14:59,714 --> 00:15:02,222 You made us feel bad about what we done to your boy, 294 00:15:02,326 --> 00:15:03,525 but what can we do about it now? 295 00:15:03,607 --> 00:15:05,506 It's not like we can play the game over again. 296 00:15:07,012 --> 00:15:08,019 Can't we? 297 00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:09,400 Like I just said, we can't. 298 00:15:09,635 --> 00:15:12,062 - Are you sure? - Open your freakin' ears. 299 00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:15,013 - No! - I think maybe we... Could. 300 00:15:15,309 --> 00:15:18,608 And I say, I have difficulty Envisioning it. 301 00:15:19,742 --> 00:15:20,818 Let me get this straight. 302 00:15:20,935 --> 00:15:24,565 You want our boys to play a fake rematch against Springfield 303 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,556 so your son can make the catch he missed 304 00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:28,217 and feel better about himself. 305 00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:30,337 - Exactly. - I guess I could, uh, 306 00:15:30,634 --> 00:15:33,150 if you pretend to be my fiancé when my mother comes to visit. 307 00:15:33,285 --> 00:15:34,084 Okay. 308 00:15:34,246 --> 00:15:37,576 If you pretend to be our chauffeur at my high school reunion. 309 00:15:37,672 --> 00:15:38,605 Fine, fine, 310 00:15:38,723 --> 00:15:41,708 if you pretend to be a ghost at an old amusement park I'm trying to buy. 311 00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:43,060 - We should stop now. - Yeah. 312 00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:46,866 You want me to re-announce a game I've already called? 313 00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,205 Oh, sister, I got too much integrity. 314 00:15:49,362 --> 00:15:53,422 The same integrity Farmer Dan puts into every link sausage. 315 00:15:53,627 --> 00:15:55,644 Then I guess you wouldn't mind eating one. 316 00:15:57,719 --> 00:15:58,647 Of course I wouldn't. 317 00:15:58,831 --> 00:16:03,042 It's not like they're made of skunk tails and horse nipples. 318 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,311 I'll do whatever you say! 319 00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,464 Just get that death wiener away from me! 320 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:15,101 I'm starting to feel funny about doing this. 321 00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:16,963 Look, we're just going to take our mattress, 322 00:16:17,088 --> 00:16:19,717 do a quick sweep of the medicine chest, then we're out of here. 323 00:16:24,356 --> 00:16:25,270 Homer, stop that. 324 00:16:26,577 --> 00:16:27,462 Sorry. 325 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,707 There it is. Old Bounce an' Giggle. 326 00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:44,201 You put on the Michael Bolton CD. I'll put on my edible vestments. 327 00:16:46,929 --> 00:16:48,095 Oh, my God! 328 00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:51,076 How dare you break in to our house, defile our bed, 329 00:16:51,173 --> 00:16:53,156 and smash our family photos with your foot. 330 00:16:53,314 --> 00:16:54,741 Well, excuse me 331 00:16:55,065 --> 00:16:57,484 for being a powerful yet careless lover. 332 00:16:57,606 --> 00:17:01,084 Reverend Lovejoy, our marriage needs this bed. 333 00:17:01,329 --> 00:17:02,658 Our marriage needs it more! 334 00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:08,743 Well, I am reminded of the story of wise King Solomon. 335 00:17:09,258 --> 00:17:10,266 You would be. 336 00:17:15,294 --> 00:17:17,030 I wish he hadn't cut it that way. 337 00:17:17,215 --> 00:17:19,101 It looks like a grilled-cheese sandwich. 338 00:17:19,368 --> 00:17:20,795 Or a chicken club. 339 00:17:21,318 --> 00:17:23,026 Or a-a Reuben. 340 00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,841 Or a Monte Cristo, or... 341 00:17:26,384 --> 00:17:27,730 Pull over behind that billboard! 342 00:17:32,691 --> 00:17:33,645 Oh! Oh, yeah! 343 00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:38,032 You really want to make love on half a mattress behind a billboard? 344 00:17:38,256 --> 00:17:41,223 It's like our honeymoon all over again. 345 00:17:42,431 --> 00:17:45,336 We even have the same bum looking at us. 346 00:17:45,685 --> 00:17:47,218 I knew you kids would make it. 347 00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:49,903 Man, you got fat. 348 00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:53,795 So, it's déjà vu all over again 349 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:59,192 as Springfield needs just one out to win the game and the championship. 350 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,534 Who'd have thunk it? 351 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,835 Probably everyone who was here the last time. 352 00:18:03,091 --> 00:18:04,318 I still can't believe it. 353 00:18:04,502 --> 00:18:07,019 They dusted the plate with a non-regulation brush, 354 00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:09,191 so we have to play the last inning over again. 355 00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:12,412 I think this time it'll have a happier ending. 356 00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:13,785 Why do you think that? 357 00:18:13,912 --> 00:18:15,186 Uh... uh... 358 00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:18,451 They warned me not to talk to you. 359 00:18:18,685 --> 00:18:20,453 - Who warned you? - Nobody! 360 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,873 Hello, redemption. 361 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:37,008 Bart gets another try! 362 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,639 Uh, the batter hit it by accident, not by design. 363 00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:42,781 Play ball! 364 00:18:48,574 --> 00:18:52,701 Er, uh, that is also a do-over cause, um, er, uh... 365 00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:54,594 There's a naked idiot on the field. 366 00:19:25,668 --> 00:19:26,523 Woo-hoo! 367 00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:27,637 D'oh! 368 00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:35,345 Play ball. 369 00:19:43,698 --> 00:19:45,755 I did it! I did it! I did it! 370 00:19:46,247 --> 00:19:48,066 Oh. Yay. All right. 371 00:19:48,650 --> 00:19:52,348 And the 78th time is the charm! 372 00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:54,293 Now, over the left field wall, 373 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:58,357 the real show's about to begin: the glorious sunrise, 374 00:19:58,562 --> 00:20:00,276 brought to you by God, 375 00:20:00,473 --> 00:20:03,791 the invisible giant you turn to when you're about to die. 376 00:20:05,906 --> 00:20:06,912 Hey, Milhouse, 377 00:20:07,027 --> 00:20:11,307 did I ever tell you about the catch I made when I was ten? 378 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,122 Greatest moment of my life. 379 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:16,734 It was a fake, you idiot! 380 00:20:16,907 --> 00:20:19,176 We did it to make you feel better. 381 00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:20,425 A fake? 382 00:20:20,823 --> 00:20:22,708 Then I did suck. 383 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:24,859 I-I... I do suck! 384 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,408 No, that was a fake just now. 385 00:20:31,723 --> 00:20:33,638 You did make the catch. 386 00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:36,722 I knew it! I rule! 387 00:20:37,058 --> 00:20:38,542 And you drool! 388 00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:44,038 Boy, our son can be a real jerk. 389 00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:45,920 Hey, do you want to have ghost sex? 390 00:20:46,035 --> 00:20:48,794 I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing. 391 00:20:48,897 --> 00:20:49,976 It's worse than nothing. 392 00:20:50,171 --> 00:20:52,116 Then why were you moaning last time? 393 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:53,617 Because I'm a ghost! 394 00:20:55,423 --> 00:20:56,489 A ghost!