1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:06,130
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,529
Look, Smithers.
Crackle-berries!

3
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,988
Spot me a federal,
will you?

4
00:00:31,073 --> 00:00:34,242
Sir, I've spotted you over
$100,000 this year.

5
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,077
Perhaps you could
carry your own money.

6
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,287
Money is for the poor.

7
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,956
Why don't you use
your ATM card?

8
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,876
Ah! Yes. The automated teller
machine-eola-trola-maton.

9
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,841
Oh, Smithers,
guide me in.

10
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:51,426
My pleasure, sir.

11
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,722
Smithers,
what's my password?

12
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:56,889
It's your age, sir.

13
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,141
Excellent.

14
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,188
Let's see.

15
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:06,649
What's the smallest amount
of money I can think of?

16
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,985
A thousand dollars!

17
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,990
Oh! My moolah! It's
escaping my clutches!

18
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,413
Your kid sucks!

19
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,622
Bring it on!

20
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,416
Hockey Dads.

21
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,169
Commence fighting!

22
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,466
Hockey Dad rules!

23
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,177
Feel the drunken wrath
of Chuck Shadowski!

24
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:39,515
Dad, stop! It's only assault.
Don't make it murder!

25
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,808
Ignore. Ignore.

26
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:44,437
You are a big man.

27
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,022
Big man!

28
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,111
What?

29
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,007
There's a ladybug
in your hair.

30
00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:56,115
Get it out!
Get it out!

31
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,366
Got it.

32
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,243
You're a good
friend, Bart.

33
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,412
The best you'll
ever have.

34
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,748
$1,000.

35
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,959
Do you know how much furniture
we could rent with this?

36
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,171
You'll rent nothing! This
money is mine. I found it.

37
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,340
Which means
someone lost it.

38
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:15,259
You'll have to put up flyers
and see if anyone claims it.

39
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,722
Marge, this is why people
don't tell you things.

40
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,270
Well, we put up a flyer.

41
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,648
Let's see someone
claim that money now.

42
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,567
Hey, what does
that flyer say?

43
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,361
What if it's for
guitar lessons?

44
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,570
We must know!

45
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,696
I'm on it.

46
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,913
You know the drill.
Try to land on my back-fat.

47
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,124
Can you describe
the bill?

48
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,918
Describe? Sure.
Of course.

49
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,294
Whose picture's on it?

50
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,047
It would have to be
somebody famous.

51
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,800
I'm gonna say, Hitler.

52
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,926
Next.

53
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:03,391
Does the bill have
bank teller blood on it?

54
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,600
No, it doesn't.

55
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,894
I'm sorry
I wasted your time.

56
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,563
That's the last of them.

57
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:12,024
You did the right thing, Bart.
And now you can keep the money.

58
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,359
Sweet.

59
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:17,780
What am I gonna do
with $1,000?

60
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,494
It's Bart's moon
party from outer space.

61
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:27,790
With R2-D2
playing the bass.

62
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,419
No one's touching
the hors d'oeuvres.

63
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:35,631
It's Bart's moon party
from outer space... What?

64
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:39,468
Bart, why don't you spend the
money on something for Mom?

65
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,053
She does
so much for us.

66
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:44,932
Well, someday I'd like
to go on a nice vacation.

67
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,310
We've gone on plenty
of great vacations.

68
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:51,105
Yeah. But you always wind up
kidnapped or on a chain gang.

69
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,525
And I don't even want to get into
what happened on our honeymoon.

70
00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,236
I still don't know why you
had that photo enlarged.

71
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,488
Oh, forget it. Bart, don't
waste your money on me.

72
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,909
Great, lady.

73
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,704
Look at the cross-hatching
on Grover Cleveland's tie.

74
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:10,333
I completely buy
the illusion of shadow.

75
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:13,294
This must be worth
like a million dollars!

76
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,130
Time's up.
Beat it, do-rags.

77
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,341
I want to see
it some more.

78
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,010
If you let me keep looking
at it, I'll give you a quarter.

79
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,305
This gives me an idea.

80
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,688
What's all this
other stuff?

81
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,816
Hey, I'm charging
five bucks to get in.

82
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,319
They deserve to see
the boy behind the bill.

83
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,863
Bart, that exhibit
over there is biased,

84
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,366
insensitive,
and anti-feminist!

85
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,329
You can't whitewash
history, Lise.

86
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:52,500
What do I get if I join the
museum as a "Friend of Bart"?

87
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,795
A subscription to
BARTFORUM Magazine,

88
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,880
and Bart will say
"Eat my shorts"

89
00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,715
on your home
answering machine.

90
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,968
How much to have
Bart crank call me?

91
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,136
That
would be hilarious.

92
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,639
That's just me, though.
You know, I love to laugh.

93
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:10,559
Young man, I believe you have
something that belongs to me.

94
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,186
Prove it,
Bony Curtis.

95
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:16,565
When the errant bill struck my
chest, it left a distinctive bruise.

96
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:20,486
Had my heart been inside at
the time, it could've been fatal.

97
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:23,906
It's a perfect match!

98
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,658
Yoink!

99
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,453
Without that bill,
this ain't a museum.

100
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,665
The Hard Rock Cafe in
Phoenix has better crap.

101
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,210
I'm recycling
this pin in disgust!

102
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,928
Bart, your museum
took in over $3,000.

103
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,724
Finally, I can get what I've
always wanted. A used Toyota.

104
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,851
Bart, I don't care
what Mom said.

105
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:55,354
I think you should use this money
to take her on a nice vacation.

106
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:02,570
Well... Okay. For Mom, I'll
do it. Where should we go?

107
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,363
Well, I'd like
to return to Brazil,

108
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:07,408
but I hear the monkey
problem is even worse now.

109
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,494
I wanna go to England.
How come?

110
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,581
Back in 1944, I was
stationed over there.

111
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,000
And I met
a beautiful girl.

112
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,920
Edwina, my slowly
opening flower,

113
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,922
I'm shipping out
in the morning.

114
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,716
Won't you make this
night memorable?

115
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,343
Anything for you,
my brave Yank.

116
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,642
I say.
Ohhh! Nice.

117
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,938
Little did I know I really was
shipping out in the morning!

118
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,780
I'll never forget you,
Edwina!

119
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,075
But I did...

120
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,409
Until just now!

121
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,870
Grampa, that's
so romantic.

122
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,246
We gotta go
to England!

123
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,123
That sounds great.

124
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,126
But only if your father
promises to behave.

125
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,462
Marge, I'll be on
my best behavior.

126
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,840
You have my word
as a gentleman and a lady.

127
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,469
Now let's see.
Which rifle should I bring?

128
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,855
Hello. Welcome to
the United Kingdom.

129
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,274
Prime Minister
Tony Blair?

130
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,944
Why are you greeting
lowlifes like us at the airport?

131
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,279
Because I want to
encourage all the world

132
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,782
to come see the beauty
of 21st century Britain.

133
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:33,619
Would an American dollar
encourage you to leave us alone?

134
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,037
No! But thank you.

135
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,250
Tony... I mean, Mister Prime
Minister, what shall we see first?

136
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,711
There's so much to see here.
Parliament, Stratford-on-Avon,

137
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,548
the White Cliffs of Dover. Oh,
and you Americans love castles.

138
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,175
There's a huge one in Edinburgh,
the city where I was born.

139
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,469
The place I was born
is now a gator farm.

140
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,554
Smashing.

141
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,348
Maybe you could give us a
personal tour of your country.

142
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,600
I'd love to but I'm late
for an appointment.

143
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,895
I'm greeting a lovely Dutch
couple at Gate 23. Cheerio.

144
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:07,153
Wow! I can't believe
we met Mr. Bean!

145
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,657
England is so classy.

146
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,909
Every cab has
its own butler.

147
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,661
Actually,
I'm not a butler.

148
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,830
I had already hired
this cab when you got in.

149
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,082
But the more the merrier,
and all that.

150
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,001
Make with the tea, Jeeves.

151
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,836
Yes. Very good, sir.

152
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,050
We're big shot tourists from
everyone's favorite country,

153
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,260
the USA.

154
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,347
We saved your ass in Vietnam and
shared our prostitutes with Hugh Grant!

155
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,809
So give me some free maps
and none of that dry British wit!

156
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,020
I wouldn't
dream of it, sir.

157
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,104
Thank you.

158
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:49,278
Did you spend an unforgettable night
with a soldier from the US Army in 1944?

159
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,613
You did?

160
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,949
Was he from the 1st
lnfantry Division? He was?

161
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,952
And was he a gentle,
caring lover?

162
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,456
He was?
Sorry I bothered you.

163
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,792
I don't know if
I'm ever gonna find her.

164
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,546
Aw, Dad. I wish there
was something I could do.

165
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,591
Touch that mini bar
and you're dead!

166
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:19,350
Look. It's J. K. Rowling,
author of the Harry Potter books.

167
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,436
You've turned a generation
of kids on to reading.

168
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,812
Thank you, young muggle.

169
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,190
Can you tell me what happens
at the end of the series?

170
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,734
He grows up
and marries you.

171
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,027
Is that what
you want to hear?

172
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,403
Yes.

173
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,325
AII right,
who's hungry?

174
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,328
We're right near a
Judi Dench's Fish & Chips.

175
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,459
Welcome to Judi Dench's
Fish & Chips.

176
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,712
Now completely free
of "Mad Fish Disease."

177
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,549
Fish? I don't know. I'm
not really a vegetarian.

178
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,469
Please order or Miss
Dench'll be furious.

179
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,888
She'll beat us, she will.

180
00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,431
Who are you talking to?

181
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,849
No one, Mum!
I swear!

182
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,434
I'II "mum" you!

183
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:04,937
Blimey!

184
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,026
Well, Marge. You gotta admit, I've
been on my best behavior this trip.

185
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,445
You punched out three
people on the street.

186
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,864
That was over
soccer results.

187
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:19,660
Can you believe they gave
Giggs a yellow card in the box?

188
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,037
Do you understand any part
of what you just said?

189
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:26,417
I understand the word "gave," unless
it means something else in this country!

190
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,421
Word to the wise.

191
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:34,675
British candy is a bit sweeter than
what you're used to across the pond.

192
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,303
Look, teabag,
just fork over the brown.

193
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:22,264
Homie, I don't think we'll be
able to find the kids from up here.

194
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,391
Now, now.
Let's just look.

195
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,102
There's Big Ben.
There's Piccadilly Circus.

196
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,772
There's Jimmy Page,
one of the greatest thieves

197
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,274
of American black music
who ever walked the earth.

198
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:33,776
There's the kids.

199
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,871
Well, look at those
filthy urchins.

200
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,374
Surely they could never be
taught proper manners.

201
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,668
One gold sovereign says
I could do just that.

202
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:55,047
It's a bet,
Lord Daftwager!

203
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,634
You can't bet on my kids!
This is America, pal!

204
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,804
Don't worry.
We'll find more wagers.

205
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,390
I love you,
Lord Daftwager.

206
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,849
Yes. And I you.

207
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,019
Yes, quite.

208
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,816
Ohhh! Look at all these
classy British plays.

209
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:20,531
I don't have
a cherry orchard.

210
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,831
Sir lan McKellen! You're my
favorite Shakespearean actor.

211
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,416
Thank you, my dear.

212
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,127
Please take these
free tickets to my play.

213
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,211
What? What play?

214
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,965
We thespians believe it's bad
luck to mention the name of this

215
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,259
particular play out loud.

216
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,343
You mean Macbeth?

217
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:46,849
Quiet, you blundering fool!
You'll curse us all!

218
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,517
What?
By saying Macbeth?

219
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:50,811
Stop saying it!

220
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:51,937
Saying what?

221
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,021
Macbeth!

222
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,857
Now I've said it!

223
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,361
Ohhh! This is cool!
Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!

224
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,947
- Bart!
- Stop saying Macbeth!

225
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,032
Mom, you said Macbeth!

226
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,619
Mr. Macbeth,
I'm really sorry.

227
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,330
That's quite all right.
You didn't know.

228
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:13,625
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a performance to give.

229
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,710
Good luck!

230
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,587
It's bad luck
to say that, too!

231
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,971
Homie, you're doing a
great job driving on the left.

232
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:29,433
This is turning out to be
our most enjoyable trip ever.

233
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,061
Yes, this trip is
entirely uneventful.

234
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:38,233
Dad, no! You turned
into a roundabout!

235
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,235
Whoa!

236
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,529
Whoa!

237
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,991
Turn,
turn, keep turning.

238
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,536
Keep turning, keep
turning, keep turning.

239
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,622
- I see an opening!
- No, it's too risky!

240
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,041
We'll just wait till
the traffic thins out!

241
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:57,503
Turn, turn. Keep turning,
keep turning, keep turning.

242
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,297
Keep turning, keep turning.

243
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:03,675
That's it! I'm acting the
way America acts best!

244
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:04,843
Unilaterally!

245
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,479
Okay, I'm gonna go over
there and see if they're cool.

246
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,191
Okay, let's see.

247
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,652
Oh, you can
buff that out.

248
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,530
We can buff that out.
That's factory error.

249
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,657
Oh, that thing is
supposed to be on fire.

250
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,662
Lady, please.

251
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,705
Get back in your
overturned car.

252
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,499
Let the guys
handle this.

253
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,251
We'll deal with him,
Your Majesty.

254
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,045
Your Majesty?

255
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,257
Dad, you rear-ended
the Queen of England!

256
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,716
The Queen of what?

257
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,265
Changing of the guard!

258
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:59,273
Wait! We have
to exchange insurance!

259
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:14,371
Homer Simpson, you are hereby
charged with damaging the Royal Coach

260
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,165
and putting several dents
in the Royal Horse.

261
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,292
How do you plead?

262
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,503
M'Lord, we Americans
love queens.

263
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,714
Be they homecoming
or dairy.

264
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,800
This woman, however,
is an imposter!

265
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,597
Her luggage is inscribed
"H. R. H."

266
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,516
Which means her
real name must be...

267
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,185
Henrietta R. Hippo!

268
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,689
Why did you let him
be his own barrister?

269
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,067
What difference could it make?
He hit the friggin' Queen!

270
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,280
I guess it's just too much
for me to ask for one vacation

271
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:52,075
where we don't go to jail
or to a condo sales pitch.

272
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,537
Your Honor, I've completely
disappointed my wife.

273
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,247
That's punishment enough.

274
00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:00,000
You understand these things.
You're a grandmother.

275
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,210
I'm a man!

276
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:07,049
And a very manly one
if I may say so, m'Lord.

277
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,343
If I might say a word?

278
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,555
I haven't had
an easy life.

279
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,475
I've seen my country
ravaged by war,

280
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,894
my family torn
by tragedy,

281
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,104
and then as I was
innocently making

282
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,482
my way to the shops
to buy light bulbs,

283
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:27,152
I was blindsided by this
great lumbering brute!

284
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:29,655
Boy, she's good.

285
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:34,409
If she were 100 years younger
and I were 100 years older... Oh!

286
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,121
If there is any love
left in you for me,

287
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,581
destroy him!

288
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:45,253
America rules! Our Beatles are way
better than your precious Rolling Stones!

289
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,849
In this cell
sits Homer Simpson,

290
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:01,269
the most villainous blackguard
to be held in this tower

291
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,438
since Edward
the Puppy Eater.

292
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,984
Look at his great
staring eyes.

293
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,195
Like saucers they are.

294
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,322
He claimed he was
me father, he did.

295
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,907
Bart, you're not helping.

296
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,160
Poke the monster with
a stick! Tuppence a jab!

297
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,912
Come on,
queue up, lads.

298
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,623
Oh, Marge,
I am so sorry.

299
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:24,960
I should've listened to
whatever it was you were saying.

300
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:29,172
It's partly my fault. I've been
nagging you so much on this trip,

301
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,050
you couldn't know
which nags to focus on.

302
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:35,971
Well, Marge, if I die here, there's
one thing I want you to remember.

303
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,640
Don't buy any
videotapes in England!

304
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:41,727
They won't work
in our VCR!

305
00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,982
Dear God of England,
please let me go.

306
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,693
In return, I will spell the
word "color" with a "U."

307
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:54,322
And I will use the metric system with
every cubic milliliter of blood in my...

308
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,992
Oh, I can't do it!
It's so stupid!

309
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,035
Dad!

310
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,747
We found a secret tunnel
out of the Tower!

311
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,166
It was used by
Sir Walter Raleigh!

312
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,002
A secret tunnel?
I don't know.

313
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,212
Won't that get me
in more trouble?

314
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,089
Homer, you couldn't
be in more trouble.

315
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,966
They're going to put
your head on a pike.

316
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,885
They're practicing
with melons.

317
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,765
Smash it on! Don't worry it.
Let the pike do the work.

318
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,224
Okay, what do I do?

319
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:24,478
Push the gray brick in
the back of the fireplace!

320
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,354
Sweet freedom, here I...

321
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,358
Put out the fire first!

322
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,949
Boy, it's a good thing I'm
leaving before I went nuts.

323
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,326
Goodbye, sparkly elves!

324
00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:40,702
Goodbye!

325
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:47,584
Oh, my God. We've
made a terrible mistake.

326
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,629
This tunnel comes out
in the worst possible place!

327
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,005
An elephant's butt?

328
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,216
Yes, Bart.
An elephant's butt.

329
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,053
Boy, a Krispy Kreme would
really clean up down here.

330
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:03,475
Hey, this place
is amazing!

331
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,268
It's fit for a Duke,

332
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:07,229
or even an Earl...

333
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,527
The Queen's
in trouble!

334
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,737
And you didn't want
to give her a whistle!

335
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,283
Please, Your Majesty.

336
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,410
I know that I,
like many other Americans,

337
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,496
have behaved like
a total buffoon.

338
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,835
But we Americans are
England's children.

339
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,170
I know we don't call
as often as we should

340
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:36,967
and we aren't as well-behaved as
our goody two-shoes brother Canada,

341
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:40,053
who by the way
has never had a girlfriend.

342
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,763
I'm just saying.

343
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:46,768
But please, find it in your
jewel-encrusted heart to forgive me.

344
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,898
That was very sweet
of the Queen

345
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:55,777
letting you go in exchange for
taking Madonna back to America.

346
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,823
I'm telling you, I'm English.

347
00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:03,368
English women
don't pump gas naked.

348
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,453
See you in
Atlanta, bitch!

349
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,289
Abe Simpson.

350
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:10,208
Are you leaving again
without saying goodbye?

351
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,003
Edwina,
you got my message!

352
00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,548
Sorry I never
saw you again.

353
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,510
I just felt the cultural differences
between us were too great.

354
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,221
Plus, as the boat
pulled away from the dock,

355
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,348
I thought you looked fat.

356
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,226
You don't have
to apologize, Abe.

357
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,645
You Yanks
saved our bacon.

358
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,773
Bacon.

359
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:39,195
Abe, this is
my daughter Abbey.

360
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,823
She's 58,
this month.

361
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,785
Fifty-eight?
Well, 59 years ago,

362
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,330
your mother and I
were have... Oh!

363
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,832
Well, gotta go!
See you in heaven!

364
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,087
Mummy, he's everything
you said he was.

365
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,089
Lady,
you're gorgeous.

366
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,550
You make Dame Edna
look like a dude.

367
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,344
Why, thank you.

368
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,638
You're all right, love.

369
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,441
English - US - PSDH