1 00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:04,795 ♪ 2 00:00:06,732 --> 00:00:08,674 YOUNG GRAMPA: Homer, get your lazy butt out of bed! 3 00:00:08,825 --> 00:00:10,083 You're gonna be late for work! 4 00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:13,012 (whoops) Going to work! 5 00:00:13,163 --> 00:00:15,931 (early-'90s hip-hop playing) 6 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,434 Hey, what's the haps, pop-diggity? 7 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,269 D'oh! What's wrong with you? 8 00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:32,756 Can't you talk like a normal 55-year-old man? 9 00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:35,108 You'll never understand hip-hop, Dad. 10 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,052 I understand plenty. 11 00:00:37,112 --> 00:00:38,945 You're wasting your life 12 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:41,189 trying to be some kind of "d'jay." 13 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,708 It's DJ, dad. 14 00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:44,951 You'll see, I'm gonna have my moment. 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,362 Check your watch-- it's Homer Time! 16 00:00:47,531 --> 00:00:49,606 -(grunting) -(sneakers squeaking) 17 00:00:49,775 --> 00:00:51,291 Where you going, Homer? 18 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,260 To my happy place. 19 00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,967 All right team, the word of the day is "upsell." 20 00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:04,063 Every medium pizza should be extra-large 21 00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,565 and every thin-crust should be deep dish. 22 00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,734 Mozzarella is money. 23 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:11,737 Do I make myself as clear as this Crystal Pepsi? 24 00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:12,905 Ah. 25 00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,965 Ah, pointless. 26 00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,909 Okay, everyone, it's showtime. 27 00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:19,661 Homer, plug in the band. 28 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,656 What's up, party people? 29 00:01:22,825 --> 00:01:24,583 Put your greasy hands together 30 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:28,462 for the Razzle Dazzle Rockin' Rollin' Revue! 31 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,150 (gears clanking) 32 00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:36,095 ♪ A-one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, pizza ♪ 33 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,672 ♪ A-five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, pizza ♪ 34 00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:41,749 ♪ We're gonna pizza around the pizza tonight ♪ 35 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,060 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,666 ♪ We're gonna pizza around ♪ 37 00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:53,654 ♪ The pizza tonight. ♪ 38 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,954 Oh, listen to that applause, Wakkety. 39 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,681 Those kids love pizza rock! 40 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,792 You suck, Yak. 41 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,463 Kids, I tell you, our pizza can't be beat. 42 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,283 Pizza can't... I... beat kids... 43 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,028 I beat kids. I beat kids. 44 00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:19,805 (all screaming) 45 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,381 That robot's threatening the kids. 46 00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:22,716 Everyone's leaving. 47 00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:23,884 (exclaims) 48 00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,394 Do something! 49 00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,564 This is my moment. 50 00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,527 ("Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice playing) 51 00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,229 ♪ All right, stop ♪ 52 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,564 ♪ Grab a plate and listen ♪ 53 00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,307 ♪ Yak is back with a menu addition ♪ 54 00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:41,643 ♪ Regular toppings don't get the job done ♪ 55 00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:43,570 ♪ Premium toppings get my mouth sprung ♪ 56 00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,722 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 57 00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:47,649 -♪ Sun-dried tomatoes ♪ -Oh! -Ah! 58 00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:49,651 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 59 00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:51,819 -♪ Canadian bacon ♪ -Whoa! -Yeah. 60 00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:53,914 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 61 00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,990 -♪ Kalamata olives ♪ -Yeah! -Whoa! 62 00:02:56,084 --> 00:02:58,010 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 63 00:02:58,161 --> 00:03:00,512 -♪ Premium toppings, yo ♪ -(all cheering) 64 00:03:00,739 --> 00:03:02,330 You know what, instead of pepperoni, 65 00:03:02,424 --> 00:03:04,165 let's get the Canadian bacon. 66 00:03:04,259 --> 00:03:06,518 So premium. 67 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,094 ♪ Sauce to your pizza. ♪ 68 00:03:08,263 --> 00:03:10,564 (kids cheering) 69 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,692 That was a heck of a show. 70 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,103 I was selling Nutzo Bread like it was Weirdo Wedges. 71 00:03:17,272 --> 00:03:18,438 (whistles) 72 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,758 Say, instead of pizza versions of old songs, 73 00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,686 we should be playing pizza versions of new songs. 74 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:27,447 Homer, I want you to create a whole new show, 75 00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:29,857 ripping off the music you care about. 76 00:03:29,952 --> 00:03:33,603 (gasps) All the Ices from Cube to T. 77 00:03:33,772 --> 00:03:34,963 Thank you, Mr. Gunderson. 78 00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,458 Guys, we got a lot of work to do. 79 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,219 I beat kids. 80 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:43,797 Beat kids. Beat kids. 81 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,373 YOUNG HOMER: Dad, tonight's 82 00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:47,467 my big show at the pizza place. You're coming, right? 83 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,454 Son, I don't know quite how to put this, but 84 00:03:50,622 --> 00:03:52,789 you're a fool and your dreams are garbage. 85 00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:55,067 Now, get out of here before I say something I'll regret. 86 00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:58,311 I'll show you who's a fool. 87 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,813 (grunting) 88 00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:00,964 (mutters): Such a jerk. 89 00:04:00,983 --> 00:04:02,466 (grunting) 90 00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:05,244 (indistinct chatter) 91 00:04:05,471 --> 00:04:06,653 Big crowd out there. 92 00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,580 You guys are gonna be great tonight. 93 00:04:08,807 --> 00:04:10,231 I know it. 94 00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:12,659 That's okay, it's just nerves. 95 00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,644 Dah, the place is packed. 96 00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:16,663 This is why I went into business-- 97 00:04:16,832 --> 00:04:19,591 to make money. 98 00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:24,263 Homer Cool J Simpson presents the new and improved 99 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,325 Phuntime Phunky Phour! 100 00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,418 ♪ Whoomp, there it is-- pizza ♪ 101 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,105 ♪ Whoomp, there it is-- pizza ♪ 102 00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:35,232 (cheering) 103 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,503 ♪ Whoomp, there it is. ♪ 104 00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:40,837 Whoomp, who are you? 105 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,282 FBI. We're shutting this place down. 106 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:46,176 -This business is a front for drug trafficking. -(music stops) 107 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:48,178 Confiscate those robots. 108 00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:50,013 But they're innocent. 109 00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:52,273 You're just harassing them because they're rappers. 110 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,127 (grunts) 111 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,778 D'ope! 112 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,463 That cocaine isn't mine. 113 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,524 I never touch sweet, sweet booger sugar. 114 00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:03,376 Let's all buy Beemers with hundred-CD disc changers-- 115 00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:04,861 they fill the whole trunk! 116 00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:06,454 MTV, baby! 117 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,308 (cackling) 118 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,959 No, don't take my friends. 119 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:13,294 No! 120 00:05:13,463 --> 00:05:16,206 (sobbing) 121 00:05:16,299 --> 00:05:17,607 Told ya. 122 00:05:19,636 --> 00:05:21,636 (sobbing) 123 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,549 And I never saw my robot friends again. 124 00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,993 So... are we still 125 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,403 going to Ralph's birthday party? 126 00:05:30,556 --> 00:05:34,074 Never! This is where my dreams died. (sobs) 127 00:05:34,226 --> 00:05:35,817 I almost didn't get these cones, 128 00:05:36,027 --> 00:05:39,320 and you know what, I'm glad I did. 129 00:05:39,489 --> 00:05:41,631 (continues sobbing) 130 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,667 Homie, it's been three days since that terrible memory 131 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,745 came back, and you haven't said anything about it. 132 00:05:55,764 --> 00:05:57,597 Oh. (short chuckle) That? 133 00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,841 What a silly thing to get upset about. 134 00:05:59,935 --> 00:06:03,103 I totally overreacted. It's all in the past now. 135 00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,012 Oops, don't want to be late for work. 136 00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:07,181 Love you. Love you all. 137 00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:08,942 -(door closes) -I can't stand 138 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,869 to see him like this. 139 00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,704 What? Dad looks happy. 140 00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,522 Something's deeply wrong. 141 00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:17,450 He's missing his youthful spirit, 142 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,619 that spark that makes him who he is. 143 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,864 Did you see how he ate his breakfast? 144 00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:25,125 He didn't shuffle his pancakes 145 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,293 like a deck of cards. 146 00:06:27,462 --> 00:06:29,370 He doesn't air-drum while driving 147 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,782 or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. 148 00:06:32,876 --> 00:06:34,226 And he always won. 149 00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:37,303 He's not my Homie anymore. 150 00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:38,972 We didn't notice any of that. 151 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,234 (scoffs) A wife knows. 152 00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,552 And a bartender. He's just... 153 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,146 he's just not the same. 154 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,815 He don't spin Barney around on the stool no more. 155 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,761 He don't drink beer from a crazy straw-- just a sensible straw. 156 00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:56,415 What are we gonna do about our little man, Midge? 157 00:06:56,642 --> 00:07:00,568 We're just gonna have to love him that much more. 158 00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,830 I didn't think that was possible. 159 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:05,498 (crying) 160 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,242 I'm used to seeing Mom upset about Dad, but Moe-- 161 00:07:08,336 --> 00:07:09,928 that really shook me. 162 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,322 How do we heal the 14-year-old boy 163 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:14,766 who lost the thing he cared most about-- 164 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,270 rapping pizza robots? 165 00:07:18,497 --> 00:07:21,347 What? It's a very Dad kind of trauma. 166 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,776 Well, if losing those robots screwed him up, 167 00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:28,113 what if we somehow found them again? 168 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:29,706 Hmm. 169 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,117 Dad told us Gil used to be his boss, 170 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,286 so maybe Gil could help us. 171 00:07:34,513 --> 00:07:37,831 And I know just where to find him. 172 00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:40,959 ("Hooray for Hollywood" playing) 173 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,284 Razzle Dazzle's-- that was many lives ago. 174 00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:52,712 I was top of the heap, making kids happy 175 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,215 with music and pizza. 176 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,717 My Dad said you were also selling drugs. 177 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,036 Ah, the drugs sold themselves, kid. 178 00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:02,296 The whole world was my nostril. 179 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:05,041 Look, after you "went away," 180 00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,634 what happened to those singing robots? 181 00:08:06,728 --> 00:08:08,712 Well, the FBI sold them at auction, 182 00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:11,231 but I never lost track of my babies. 183 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,233 I'm gonna get those robots back, 184 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,643 and start a new kiddie pizza place, 185 00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:18,722 then use that as a front to sell even better drugs! 186 00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:20,815 -(giggles) -Gimme that. 187 00:08:20,909 --> 00:08:23,727 (gasps) This is it. They're all here. 188 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:27,488 Lis, we're getting the band back together. 189 00:08:27,582 --> 00:08:29,591 ♪ ♪ 190 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,757 You can't take Jive Turkey. 191 00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:39,851 He's the centerpiece of my priceless collection 192 00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:42,187 of disco memorabilia. 193 00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:44,264 For God's sake, Stuart. 194 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:46,099 Get rid of this stuff. 195 00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:49,936 You've wasted your life on America's worst music craze. 196 00:08:50,088 --> 00:08:53,532 I'm just glad your father, Doo-Wop Steve, 197 00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:55,867 didn't live to see this. 198 00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,703 Hmm... Take him. 199 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,354 Thank you, Mrs... 200 00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,523 Public Domain Debbie. 201 00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:06,360 ♪ On top of Old Smoky ♪ 202 00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:09,089 ♪ All covered in snow. ♪ 203 00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:13,626 Please, Professor. This mechanical-- 204 00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:15,295 what is it, a beaver?-- 205 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:18,998 it's the key to my husband's emotional recovery. 206 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,284 Aw... (mumbles) 207 00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:23,803 Well, I understand that need to develop an attachment 208 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,065 to a piece of machinery to combat loneliness. 209 00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:28,567 What do-what do you say, boys, 210 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,643 should I... should I just let her have him? 211 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,645 Free him, you monster. 212 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,980 Free all of us. 213 00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:36,983 He programs us to lose. 214 00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:39,411 (alarm chirps) 215 00:09:39,562 --> 00:09:42,914 Hmm. Why would I, a major local celebrity, 216 00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:45,658 possess a robot from a defunct pizza parlor? 217 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,660 The very notion is absurd. 218 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,570 Oh, of course. I'm sorry, sir. 219 00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:51,497 My mistake. Sorry to bother you. 220 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,593 Oh, uh, there is one more thing, sir. 221 00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,319 I see that you go through a lot of this, uh, 222 00:09:56,338 --> 00:09:59,080 mechanical oil stuff here. 223 00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:02,601 Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation, Bartender. 224 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:06,921 I spray it on my rusty door hinges. 225 00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:08,773 Oh, right, now I get it. 226 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:09,941 You don't want anyone to know that 227 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,168 a respectable gent like yourself 228 00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,613 is using this here WD-40 229 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,281 and this silk kimono 230 00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:19,117 and this Enrique Iglesias CD 231 00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:21,286 with your sex robot! 232 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,854 Oh, yeah, the yak. 233 00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,964 I used him to test the Kevlar vests. 234 00:10:33,191 --> 00:10:34,858 I liked the way he would sing about pizza 235 00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:36,709 every time I shot him in the chest. 236 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,121 You're a little late, though. I just sold him to those guys. 237 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,531 (Bart and Lisa gasp) 238 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,624 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where-where are you going with that? 239 00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:47,036 We're taking it to the new local offices of J.J. Abrams. 240 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,554 J.J. Abrams. 241 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,709 What's a big Hollywood director doing in Springfield? 242 00:10:52,802 --> 00:10:54,819 Making the next Mission: Impossible. 243 00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:57,063 Downtown Springfield's standing in for Somalia. 244 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,382 What does he want with this rickety piece of junk? 245 00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:00,641 As a visionary genius, 246 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,327 J.J. needs to be kept in a constant state 247 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,237 of childlike wonder, 248 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,056 so we fill his creative space with kitsch, 249 00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:09,058 whimsy, memorabilia. 250 00:11:09,152 --> 00:11:10,393 -(phone dings) -(all gasp) 251 00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:12,395 J.J. needs a Garbage Pail Kids pinball machine 252 00:11:12,564 --> 00:11:15,131 and a roll of 1982 quarters. 253 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:17,425 Go, go, go! 254 00:11:20,906 --> 00:11:22,405 Can I help you? 255 00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:24,498 Yeah, we're a cool, young, 256 00:11:24,592 --> 00:11:27,927 brother-sister directing team and we'd like to speak 257 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,006 to a low-level executive about a vague idea we have. 258 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,692 Super vague. 259 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,485 Right away! 260 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,612 (gasps) There's the yak. 261 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,374 But how are we gonna get it out of here? 262 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,202 Step away from the kitsch. 263 00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:04,038 What are you thinking, trying to steal from a Hollywood big shot? 264 00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:06,165 That's like murdering a dozen normos. 265 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,634 Sorry, Dad. We thought it would make you happy 266 00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:10,895 if we got your old band back together. 267 00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:14,640 The Phuntime Phunky Phour? That's impossible. 268 00:12:14,809 --> 00:12:17,986 I'll never see those guys... again. 269 00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:20,905 Yak. 270 00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:22,240 It's you. 271 00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,993 MAN: What a touching scene. 272 00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:27,579 I know just how to shoot it. 273 00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,138 -It's J.J.! -Roll his calls! 274 00:12:29,157 --> 00:12:30,582 Don't step on his shadow. 275 00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:33,251 Oh, no, I'm wearing the same shirt as him. Aah! 276 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:35,161 -Hi, I'm J.J. -Homer Jay. 277 00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,146 Sorry my kids tried to steal from you. 278 00:12:37,315 --> 00:12:38,331 It's just that they were trying 279 00:12:38,483 --> 00:12:41,926 to get this old robot back, so... so... 280 00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:44,153 So they could reunite the entire animatronic band 281 00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:46,431 to heal the broken teenager inside of you. 282 00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:47,432 (all gasp) 283 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:50,101 How did you know my secret pain? 284 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,103 I didn't. My storytelling sense told me 285 00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:54,939 this was the only emotionally cathartic end to your journey. 286 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,141 Master of story! 287 00:12:57,368 --> 00:13:00,169 He's the ultimate architect of cinematic universes, 288 00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,005 and my dad's friend. 289 00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:03,114 Mm... 290 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,950 I need to see all the robots together. 291 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,285 Wipe to... 292 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,179 (gasps) Foxxy, Turkey, 293 00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,956 Hippie, and Wakkety! 294 00:13:12,183 --> 00:13:13,866 You're all here. 295 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,127 I've never seen such genuine childlike wonder. 296 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,354 And I've been to dozens of test screenings. 297 00:13:18,523 --> 00:13:20,447 Homer, your emotional connection to these characters 298 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,191 has shown me that your journey can be 299 00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:23,359 a universal experience, 300 00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:25,361 -or at least Dreamworks. -What? 301 00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,288 I have wonderful news: I'm gonna make these robots 302 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,533 the stars of their own nine-movie franchise. 303 00:13:30,702 --> 00:13:31,868 Buy the underlying IP. 304 00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:33,961 -Done. You own it. -Fantastic. 305 00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,705 Take them away. Take them? 306 00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:37,373 But we just got reunited. 307 00:13:37,542 --> 00:13:39,225 Oh, but I need them. My visual effects artists 308 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,801 have to scan them into supercomputers 309 00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:43,229 so our mind-blowing reboot will make its release date: 310 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:46,382 March 30-- the new Fourth of July. 311 00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,409 No! (whimpering) 312 00:13:50,238 --> 00:13:51,554 (sobbing) 313 00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:54,666 No! The same thing happened again, 314 00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:57,168 but slightly different, years later. 315 00:13:57,395 --> 00:13:59,295 It's what I do. 316 00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:09,422 I had them back and I lost them again. 317 00:14:09,574 --> 00:14:12,499 Homie, I know how hard this is for you. 318 00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,094 I always say you shouldn't do this, 319 00:14:15,246 --> 00:14:17,671 but maybe-- just this once-- 320 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,840 you should go eat your feelings. 321 00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:22,176 Six feelings with extra cheese. 322 00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:23,586 An order of French feelings, 323 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:27,348 and a super chocolate frosty depression. 324 00:14:27,516 --> 00:14:29,850 I also recommend a hot apple cry. 325 00:14:29,944 --> 00:14:32,954 Yes, I recognize a fellow sadness swallower. 326 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:37,934 And then J.J. Abrams took my robots away... 327 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,770 so he could reboot them. 328 00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:43,272 Why do Hollywood guys only want to make movies? 329 00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:46,050 I used to be like you, getting angry at filmmakers 330 00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:49,128 who ruined my favorite childhood characters, 331 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,556 stewing in silence. But now, 332 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:55,301 thanks to the Internet, I can fight back. 333 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,303 -You can? -Oh, yes, my friend. 334 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,788 It is called "trolling." 335 00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:02,141 Thanks to social media super-soldiers like myself, 336 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,569 studios spent millions to remove 337 00:15:04,796 --> 00:15:07,463 Sonic the Hedgehog's creepy human teeth. 338 00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:09,315 We changed the world 339 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,576 of video game adaptations I never saw. 340 00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,803 Then I'll do it. I'll become a troll, 341 00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,580 stop J.J. Abrams' reboot, 342 00:15:15,823 --> 00:15:18,324 and save my childhood. 343 00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,401 And now I'm eating a feeling 344 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:22,462 I've never felt before. 345 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,968 ♪ 346 00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:46,611 Marge, I've done it. 347 00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:48,004 The boycott is gaining momentum-- 348 00:15:48,022 --> 00:15:50,673 the supportive comments are pouring in. 349 00:15:50,692 --> 00:15:53,025 Three of them! 350 00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:56,345 Homer, please. You've missed so much of your life. 351 00:15:56,364 --> 00:15:57,680 Of our lives. 352 00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,958 It's only a movie. 353 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,964 Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I have been 354 00:16:06,115 --> 00:16:08,541 taking this nostalgia-fueled vendetta too far. 355 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,284 -(computer dings) -(gasps) 356 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,136 Pizza movie news alert. 357 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,138 Hey, Springfield. I'm inviting you 358 00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,699 to come to the Aztec Theatre tonight for a special preview 359 00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:19,460 of my new animated movie, Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A. 360 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,372 How dare he do what he said he was gonna do! 361 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:24,890 I paused just long enough for anyone watching 362 00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:28,044 to say something. And now, here's a little... 363 00:16:28,213 --> 00:16:30,613 "slice" of what you'll see tonight. 364 00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:35,551 NARRATOR: They'll save the world in 90 minutes... 365 00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:37,478 or the movie is free. 366 00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,889 Written by Tony Kushner and Babaloo Mandel. 367 00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,724 No. This reimagining 368 00:16:41,859 --> 00:16:44,168 is worse than I could have ever imagined. 369 00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:47,396 I've got to stop that screening. 370 00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:50,032 (grunting) 371 00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:53,586 There's only one person who can help my Homie now. 372 00:16:53,738 --> 00:16:55,680 -Who are you calling? -No, don't tell us-- 373 00:16:55,907 --> 00:16:57,598 it'll be cooler when we find out later. 374 00:16:59,077 --> 00:17:00,334 (indistinct chatter) 375 00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:03,170 Reboots suck and you're to blame, 376 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,690 make it different, but the same! 377 00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,267 Thank you, loyal trolls, for joining me 378 00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:09,602 in my passion project: 379 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,197 destroying someone else's passion project. 380 00:17:13,424 --> 00:17:16,517 Yes, every fan deserves movies that are individually tailored 381 00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,928 to their preconceived ideas. 382 00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:22,114 Let's ruin everyone's night! 383 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,766 (applause) 384 00:17:23,935 --> 00:17:26,102 Welcome to this preview of Agents of P.I.Z.Z.A., 385 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:27,361 featuring the voice talents 386 00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,363 of whoever was famous eight months ago. 387 00:17:29,532 --> 00:17:30,697 (all quietly exclaiming) 388 00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:32,291 But the real heroes are the thousands 389 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,627 of computer artists who worked around the clock, 390 00:17:34,796 --> 00:17:36,721 slowly going blind, at such effects houses as 391 00:17:36,872 --> 00:17:38,798 Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop, 392 00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:41,450 Indentured Server-dudes, and too many others to count. 393 00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:42,802 -Or pay. -MAN: Yeah! 394 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,395 And now, without further ado... 395 00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:47,548 Did somebody ask for ado? 396 00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:48,474 (all gasp) 397 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,234 Hey, Homer. Good to see you. 398 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:53,145 Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? 399 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,056 This man took simple, beautiful animal robots 400 00:17:56,150 --> 00:17:57,742 designed to sell pizza 401 00:17:57,969 --> 00:18:00,486 and turned them into something crass and commercial. 402 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:04,140 Well, it's all over, J.J.-- 403 00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,876 if those are your real initials. 404 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,928 I'm going to burn the only copy of this movie. 405 00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:19,580 Actually, the movie's backed up on servers all over the world. 406 00:18:19,674 --> 00:18:21,490 That reel is just a prop from the snack stand. 407 00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:24,769 Oh. I wondered why it was buttery. 408 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,939 You can't release this movie. Changing those characters 409 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:31,317 -will ruin my childhood. -GRAMPA: Bullpucky! 410 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,336 (all gasp) 411 00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:35,004 (grunts) 412 00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:37,598 So that's who Mom called earlier. 413 00:18:37,692 --> 00:18:39,492 So satisfying. 414 00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:43,012 Son, a movie can't ruin your childhood. 415 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:46,641 I ruined it by being a terrible father. 416 00:18:46,643 --> 00:18:49,368 -But the movie. -No, it was me. 417 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,945 I put you down, I never listened to you, 418 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,523 said your dreams were ridiculous. 419 00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:56,467 Maybe it was the way I was brought up. 420 00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:58,861 Men back then could only love sports stars 421 00:18:58,954 --> 00:19:00,972 and auto makes. 422 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:04,049 I was a Chevy man and I thought that was enough. 423 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,127 The '63 Impala SS sport coupe-- 424 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,039 now, that was a son. 425 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,042 Of course. It's not the movie that sucks, 426 00:19:13,211 --> 00:19:15,378 it was you sucking. 427 00:19:15,546 --> 00:19:17,880 It was always you sucking. 428 00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:21,550 I hate you, Dad. 429 00:19:21,644 --> 00:19:22,702 ALL: Aw. 430 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,497 Homer, I know you were attached to the past, 431 00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:29,225 but this movie-- all 71 minutes of it-- 432 00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:30,743 might help a new generation of kids 433 00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,503 forget their terrible parents. 434 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:36,490 -Like us, Dad. -I want to forget so bad. 435 00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:39,993 -Mm. -Go on, make your movie. 436 00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:41,328 It's literally already done. 437 00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:44,073 I guess the only time I'll see my friends now 438 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,850 is on the big screen. 439 00:19:46,077 --> 00:19:47,977 Well, actually... 440 00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:50,730 (gasps) 441 00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:54,859 The band is back together. 442 00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,176 I had them reprogrammed 443 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,845 to dispense frozen yogurt at the after party. 444 00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:01,032 Goodbye, old friend. 445 00:20:01,259 --> 00:20:03,868 You'll always be a part of me. 446 00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:05,995 Ah... 447 00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:20,776 COMIC BOOK GUY: To all who dare reboot a movie, 448 00:20:20,869 --> 00:20:22,220 comic book, or TV show-- 449 00:20:22,447 --> 00:20:25,614 you are being watched by Troll Force Five! 450 00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:28,893 Mary Sue, who writes fan fiction starring herself. 451 00:20:29,044 --> 00:20:31,620 "Harry Potter turned and said, 'Without Mary Sue, 452 00:20:31,714 --> 00:20:34,381 I never could have brought Dumbledore back to life.'" 453 00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,474 COMIC BOOK GUY: The Furry-- the ultimate expert 454 00:20:35,643 --> 00:20:38,794 on poorly-rendered CGI hair. 455 00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,072 That's not what it looks like when a bear sweats. 456 00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:42,889 COMIC BOOK BUY: The Shipper-- able to detect 457 00:20:42,984 --> 00:20:45,576 romantic connections where, clearly, none exist. 458 00:20:45,803 --> 00:20:48,579 C-3PO and Chewbacca are definitely a couple. 459 00:20:48,806 --> 00:20:50,581 COMIC BOOK GUY: Stan, who can ruin anything 460 00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:52,658 by loving it too much. 461 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,043 Together, we are... 462 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,090 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 463 00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:00,483 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 464 00:21:00,501 --> 00:21:02,276 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 465 00:21:02,411 --> 00:21:04,820 ♪ Your mother's got flavor, your father's got the flavor ♪ 466 00:21:04,839 --> 00:21:06,213 ♪ Your sister and your brother and your cousins ♪ 467 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,673 ♪ Got the flavor, the flavor ♪ 468 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,492 ♪ Flavor that you crave so much ♪ 469 00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:11,269 ♪ Flavor with boom, flavor that goes crunch ♪ 470 00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:12,770 ♪ Tell me, who's got flavor ♪ 471 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:13,996 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 472 00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:14,939 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 473 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,165 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 474 00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:17,275 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 475 00:21:17,502 --> 00:21:18,484 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 476 00:21:18,669 --> 00:21:19,610 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 477 00:21:19,837 --> 00:21:20,778 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 478 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,095 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 479 00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:23,172 ♪ The funky hip-hop ♪ 480 00:21:23,265 --> 00:21:24,615 (beatboxing) 481 00:21:24,842 --> 00:21:25,783 ♪ Feel the beat drop ♪ 482 00:21:26,010 --> 00:21:26,859 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 483 00:21:27,028 --> 00:21:27,785 ♪ Sweet, nothing sour ♪ 484 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:28,953 (neighs) 485 00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:30,288 ♪ Kick it like horsepower ♪ 486 00:21:30,515 --> 00:21:31,622 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 487 00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:32,790 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 488 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:33,791 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 489 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,834 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 490 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:35,793 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 491 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:36,794 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 492 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:37,795 ♪ Who's got... ♪ 493 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,089 Shh!