1
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,675
Homer,
get your lazy butt out of bed!
2
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,177
You're gonna be late for work!
3
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:13,146
Going to work!
4
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,594
Hey, what's the haps,
pop‐diggity?
5
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,329
D'oh!
What's wrong with you?
6
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,833
Can't you talk like
a normal 55‐year‐old man?
7
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,269
You'll never understand
hip‐hop, Dad.
8
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,104
I understand plenty.
9
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,039
You're wasting your life
10
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,208
trying to be
some kind of "d'jay."
11
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,876
It's DJ, dad.
12
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,145
You'll see,
I'm gonna have my moment.
13
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,514
Check your watch‐‐
it's Homer Time!
14
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,451
Where you going, Homer?
15
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,387
To my happy place.
16
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,128
All right team, the word
of the day is "upsell."
17
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,164
Every medium pizza
should be extra‐large
18
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,733
and every thin‐crust
should be deep dish.
19
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,936
Mozzarella is money.
20
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,905
Do I make myself as clear
as this Crystal Pepsi?
21
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,073
Ah.
22
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,975
Ah, pointless.
23
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,077
Okay, everyone, it's showtime.
24
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,746
Homer, plug in the band.
25
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,816
What's up, party people?
26
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,785
Put your greasy hands together
27
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:28,555
for the Razzle Dazzle
Rockin' Rollin' Revue!
28
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,330
♪ A‐one, two, three o'clock,
four o'clock, pizza ♪
29
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,799
♪ A‐five, six, seven o'clock,
eight o'clock, pizza ♪
30
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,835
♪ We're gonna pizza
around the pizza tonight ♪
31
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,776
♪ We're gonna pizza around ♪
32
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,780
♪ The pizza tonight. ♪
33
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,122
Oh, listen
to that applause, Wakkety.
34
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,658
Those kids love pizza rock!
35
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,860
You suck, Yak.
36
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,531
Kids, I tell you,
our pizza can't be beat.
37
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,335
Pizza can't...
I... beat kids...
38
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:18,138
I beat kids.
I beat kids.
39
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,475
That robot's
threatening the kids.
40
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:22,809
Everyone's leaving.
41
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,479
Do something!
42
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,649
This is my moment.
43
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,256
♪ All right, stop ♪
44
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,658
♪ Grab a plate and listen ♪
45
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,426
♪ Yak is back
with a menu addition ♪
46
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,762
♪ Regular toppings
don't get the job done ♪
47
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,664
♪ Premium toppings
get my mouth sprung ♪
48
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,832
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
49
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,768
- ♪ Sun‐dried tomatoes ♪
- Oh!
- Ah!
50
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,770
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
51
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,938
- ♪ Canadian bacon ♪
- Whoa!
- Yeah.
52
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,007
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
53
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,109
- ♪ Kalamata olives ♪
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
54
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,178
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
55
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,614
- ♪ Premium toppings, yo ♪
-
56
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,382
You know what,
instead of pepperoni,
57
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,217
let's get the Canadian bacon.
58
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,620
So premium.
59
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,255
♪ Sauce to your pizza. ♪
60
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,727
That was a heck of a show.
61
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:17,264
I was selling Nutzo Bread
like it was Weirdo Wedges.
62
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,635
Say, instead of pizza versions
of old songs,
63
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,805
we should be playing
pizza versions of new songs.
64
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,607
Homer, I want you to create
a whole new show,
65
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,910
ripping off the music
you care about.
66
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:33,613
All the Ices from Cube to T.
67
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,048
Thank you, Mr. Gunderson.
68
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,585
Guys, we got
a lot of work to do.
69
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,353
I beat kids.
70
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,990
Beat kids.
Beat kids.
71
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,492
Dad, tonight's
72
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,637
my big show at the pizza place.
You're coming, right?
73
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,464
Son, I don't know
quite how to put this, but
74
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,833
you're a fool
and your dreams are garbage.
75
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,268
Now, get out of here before
I say something I'll regret.
76
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,505
I'll show you who's a fool.
77
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,073
Such a jerk.
78
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,780
Big crowd out there.
79
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,715
You guys are
gonna be great tonight.
80
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,217
I know it.
81
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,786
That's okay, it's just nerves.
82
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,588
Dah, the place is packed.
83
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,790
This is why
I went into business‐‐
84
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,693
to make money.
85
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,464
Homer Cool J Simpson presents
the new and improved
86
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,335
Phuntime Phunky Phour!
87
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,470
♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐ pizza ♪
88
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,240
♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐
pizza ♪
89
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,613
♪ Whoomp, there it is. ♪
90
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,914
Whoomp, who are you?
91
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,316
FBI.
We're shutting this place down.
92
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,253
- This business is a front
for drug trafficking.
-
93
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,288
Confiscate those robots.
94
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,023
But they're innocent.
95
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,359
You're just harassing them
because they're rappers.
96
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,830
D'ope!
97
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,665
That cocaine isn't mine.
98
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,667
I never touch
sweet, sweet booger sugar.
99
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,436
Let's all buy Beemers
with hundred‐CD disc changers‐‐
100
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,905
they fill the whole trunk!
101
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,473
MTV, baby!
102
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,078
No, don't take my friends.
103
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,413
No!
104
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,684
Told ya.
105
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:25,625
And I never saw
my robot friends again.
106
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,094
So... are we still
107
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,463
going to Ralph's birthday party?
108
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:34,134
Never! This is where
my dreams died.
109
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,969
I almost didn't get these cones,
110
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,439
and you know what,
I'm glad I did.
111
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,752
Homie, it's been three days
since that terrible memory
112
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:55,689
came back, and you haven't
said anything about it.
113
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,691
Oh.
That?
114
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,860
What a silly thing
to get upset about.
115
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:03,129
I totally overreacted.
It's all in the past now.
116
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,098
Oops, don't want
to be late for work.
117
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,267
Love you.
Love you all.
118
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,035
‐ ‐I can't stand
119
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,971
to see him like this.
120
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,806
What?
Dad looks happy.
121
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,574
Something's deeply wrong.
122
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,544
He's missing
his youthful spirit,
123
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,779
that spark that
makes him who he is.
124
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,949
Did you see
how he ate his breakfast?
125
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,218
He didn't shuffle his pancakes
126
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,454
like a deck of cards.
127
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,155
He doesn't
air‐drum while driving
128
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,826
or race the dog in butt scooting
across the carpet.
129
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,327
And he always won.
130
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,464
He's not my Homie anymore.
131
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,099
We didn't notice any of that.
132
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,402
A wife knows.
133
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,638
And a bartender.
He's just...
134
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,273
he's just not the same.
135
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,842
He don't spin Barney around
on the stool no more.
136
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,812
He don't drink beer from a crazy
straw‐‐ just a sensible straw.
137
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,583
What are we gonna do
about our little man, Midge?
138
00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,687
We're just gonna
have to love him that much more.
139
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,924
I didn't think
that was possible.
140
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,295
I'm used to seeing Mom
upset about Dad, but Moe‐‐
141
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,096
that really shook me.
142
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,299
How do we heal
the 14‐year‐old boy
143
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,935
who lost the thing
he cared most about‐‐
144
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,371
rapping pizza robots?
145
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,408
What?
It's a very Dad kind of trauma.
146
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,911
Well, if losing those robots
screwed him up,
147
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,248
what if we somehow
found them again?
148
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,649
Hmm.
149
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,285
Dad told us
Gil used to be his boss,
150
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,254
so maybe Gil could help us.
151
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,891
And I know
just where to find him.
152
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,270
Razzle Dazzle's‐‐
that was many lives ago.
153
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,839
I was top of the heap,
making kids happy
154
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,342
with music and pizza.
155
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,844
My Dad said you were
also selling drugs.
156
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,146
Ah, the drugs
sold themselves, kid.
157
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,282
The whole world was my nostril.
158
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,051
Look, after you "went away,"
159
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,619
what happened
to those singing robots?
160
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,722
Well, the FBI
sold them at auction,
161
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,224
but I never lost track
of my babies.
162
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,293
I'm gonna get those robots back,
163
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,462
and start a new kiddie
pizza place,
164
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,698
then use that as a front
to sell even better drugs!
165
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,867
‐ ‐Gimme that.
166
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,770
This is it.
They're all here.
167
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,540
Lis, we're getting
the band back together.
168
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,817
You can't take Jive Turkey.
169
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,986
He's the centerpiece
of my priceless collection
170
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,322
of disco memorabilia.
171
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,324
For God's sake, Stuart.
172
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,159
Get rid of this stuff.
173
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,996
You've wasted your life
on America's worst music craze.
174
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,666
I'm just glad your father,
Doo‐Wop Steve,
175
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,935
didn't live to see this.
176
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,838
Hmm...
Take him.
177
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,473
Thank you, Mrs...
178
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,542
Public Domain Debbie.
179
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:06,379
♪ On top of Old Smoky ♪
180
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,115
♪ All covered in snow. ♪
181
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,753
Please, Professor.
This mechanical‐‐
182
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,355
what is it, a beaver?‐‐
183
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,059
it's the key to my husband's
emotional recovery.
184
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,061
Aw...
185
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,897
Well, I understand that need
to develop an attachment
186
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:27,200
to a piece of machinery
to combat loneliness.
187
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,601
What do‐what do you say, boys,
188
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,737
should I... should I
just let her have him?
189
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,639
Free him, you monster.
190
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,107
Free all of us.
191
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,110
He programs us to lose.
192
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:43,049
Hmm. Why would I,
a major local celebrity,
193
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,752
possess a robot
from a defunct pizza parlor?
194
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,754
The very notion is absurd.
195
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,656
Oh, of course.
I'm sorry, sir.
196
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,591
My mistake.
Sorry to bother you.
197
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,727
Oh, uh, there is
one more thing, sir.
198
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,372
I see that you go through
a lot of this, uh,
199
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:59,165
mechanical oil stuff here.
200
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,802
Well, there's a perfectly
logical explanation, Bartender.
201
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:07,006
I spray it
on my rusty door hinges.
202
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,942
Oh, right, now I get it.
203
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,186
You don't want anyone
to know that
204
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,178
a respectable gent like yourself
205
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,814
is using this here WD‐40
206
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,449
and this silk kimono
207
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,285
and this Enrique Iglesias CD
208
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,387
with your sex robot!
209
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,930
Oh, yeah, the yak.
210
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,133
I used him
to test the Kevlar vests.
211
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,934
I liked the way
he would sing about pizza
212
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,870
every time
I shot him in the chest.
213
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:40,206
You're a little late, though.
I just sold him to those guys.
214
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,752
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where‐where
are you going with that?
215
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:47,147
We're taking it to the new
local offices of J. J. Abrams.
216
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,715
J.J. Abrams.
217
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,819
What's a big Hollywood director
doing in Springfield?
218
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,888
Making the next Impossible.
219
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,223
Downtown Springfield's
standing in for Somalia.
220
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,492
What does he want with
this rickety piece of junk?
221
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,727
As a visionary genius,
222
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,495
J.J. needs to be kept
in a constant state
223
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,330
of childlike wonder,
224
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:07,133
so we fill his creative
space with kitsch,
225
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,102
whimsy, memorabilia.
226
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,436
‐
227
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,472
J.J. needs a Garbage Pail Kids
pinball machine
228
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,241
and a roll of 1982 quarters.
229
00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,510
Go, go, go!
230
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,448
Can I help you?
231
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,617
Yeah, we're a cool, young,
232
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,854
brother‐sister directing team
and we'd like to speak
233
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:32,091
to a low‐level executive
about a vague idea we have.
234
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,860
Super vague.
235
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,595
Right away!
236
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,773
There's the yak.
237
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,509
But how are we gonna
get it out of here?
238
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:01,154
Step away from the kitsch.
239
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,090
What are you thinking, trying to
steal from a Hollywood big shot?
240
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,259
That's like murdering
a dozen normos.
241
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,628
Sorry, Dad. We thought
it would make you happy
242
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,997
if we got your old band
back together.
243
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,801
The Phuntime Phunky Phour?
That's impossible.
244
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:18,071
I'll never
see those guys... again.
245
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,007
Yak.
246
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,342
It's you.
247
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,078
What a touching scene.
248
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,680
I know just how to shoot it.
249
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,015
- It's J. J.!
- Roll his calls!
250
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,750
Don't step on his shadow.
251
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,353
Oh, no, I'm wearing
the same shirt as him. Aah!
252
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,321
- Hi, I'm J. J.
- Homer Jay.
253
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,156
Sorry my kids
tried to steal from you.
254
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,400
It's just that they were trying
255
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,861
to get this old robot back,
so... so...
256
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,197
So they could reunite
the entire animatronic band
257
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,599
to heal the broken teenager
inside of you.
258
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,336
How did you know my secret pain?
259
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,272
I didn't.
My storytelling sense told me
260
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,141
this was the only emotionally
cathartic end to your journey.
261
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,277
Master of story!
262
00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,280
He's the ultimate architect
of cinematic universes,
263
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,048
and my dad's friend.
264
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,283
Mm...
265
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,119
I need to see
all the robots together.
266
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,453
Wipe to...
267
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,156
Foxxy, Turkey,
268
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,091
Hippie, and Wakkety!
269
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,893
You're all here.
270
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,296
I've never seen such
genuine childlike wonder.
271
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,298
And I've been to dozens
of test screenings.
272
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,500
Homer, your emotional connection
to these characters
273
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,168
has shown me
that your journey can be
274
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,469
a universal experience,
275
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,405
- or at least Dreamworks.
- What?
276
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,340
I'm gonna make these robots
277
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,643
the stars of their own
nine‐movie franchise.
278
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,978
Buy the underlying IP.
279
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,013
- Done. You own it.
- Fantastic.
280
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,748
Take them away.
Take them?
281
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,483
But we just got reunited.
282
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,352
Oh, but I need them.
My visual effects artists
283
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,920
have to scan them
into supercomputers
284
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,356
so our mind‐blowing reboot
285
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,426
March 30‐‐
the new Fourth of July.
286
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,528
No!
287
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,801
No! The same thing
happened again,
288
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,370
but slightly different,
years later.
289
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,439
It's what I do.
290
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,482
I had them back
and I lost them again.
291
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,618
Homie, I know
how hard this is for you.
292
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,154
I always say
you shouldn't do this,
293
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,790
but maybe‐‐ just this once‐‐
294
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,959
you should go eat your feelings.
295
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,261
Six feelings with extra cheese.
296
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,563
An order of French feelings,
297
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:27,300
and a super chocolate
frosty depression.
298
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,936
I also recommend
a hot apple cry.
299
00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:33,206
Yes, I recognize
a fellow sadness swallower.
300
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:38,010
And then J. J. Abrams
took my robots away...
301
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,847
so he could reboot them.
302
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,316
Why do Hollywood guys
only want to make movies?
303
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,185
I used to be like you,
getting angry at filmmakers
304
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,255
who ruined my favorite
childhood characters,
305
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,657
stewing in silence.
But now,
306
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,428
thanks to the Internet,
I can fight back.
307
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,430
- You can?
- Oh, yes, my friend.
308
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,865
It is called "trolling."
309
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:02,268
Thanks to social media
super‐soldiers like myself,
310
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,704
studios spent millions to remove
311
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,473
Sonic the Hedgehog's
creepy human teeth.
312
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,409
We changed the world
313
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,711
of video game adaptations
I never saw.
314
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,813
Then I'll do it.
I'll become a troll,
315
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,782
stop J. J. Abrams' reboot,
316
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,451
and save my childhood.
317
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,453
And now I'm eating a feeling
318
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,555
I've never felt before.
319
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,779
Marge, I've done it.
320
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,056
The boycott
is gaining momentum‐‐
321
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,683
the supportive comments
are pouring in.
322
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,019
Three of them!
323
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:56,355
Homer, please. You've missed
so much of your life.
324
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,690
Of our lives.
325
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,092
It's only a movie.
326
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,798
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been
327
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,634
taking this nostalgia‐fueled
vendetta too far.
328
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,303
‐
329
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,238
Pizza movie news alert.
330
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,040
Hey, Springfield.
I'm inviting you
331
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,742
to come to the Aztec Theatre
tonight for a special preview
332
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,479
of my new animated movie,
Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A.
333
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,382
How dare he do
what he said he was gonna do!
334
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,027
I paused just long enough
for anyone watching
335
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,120
to say something.
And now, here's a little...
336
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,690
"slice" of what
you'll see tonight.
337
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,595
They'll save the world
in 90 minutes...
338
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,630
or the movie is free.
339
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,966
Written by Tony Kushner
and Babaloo Mandel.
340
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,767
No.
This reimagining
341
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,337
is worse than
I could have ever imagined.
342
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,473
I've got to stop that screening.
343
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:53,679
There's only one person
who can help my Homie now.
344
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,848
- Who are you calling?
- No, don't tell us‐‐
345
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,717
it'll be cooler
when we find out later.
346
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,256
Reboots suck
and you're to blame,
347
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,791
make it different, but the same!
348
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,294
Thank you, loyal trolls,
for joining me
349
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:13,299
destroying someone else's
passion project.
350
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,602
Yes, every fan deserves movies
that are individually tailored
351
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,938
to their preconceived ideas.
352
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,208
Let's ruin everyone's night!
353
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,145
Welcome to this preview
of Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A.,
354
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,313
featuring the voice talents
355
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,448
of whoever was famous
eight months ago.
356
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,385
But the real heroes
are the thousands
357
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,787
of computer artists
who worked around the clock,
358
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,822
slowly going blind,
at such effects houses as
359
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,958
Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop,
360
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,494
Indentured Server‐dudes,
and too many others to count.
361
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,929
- Or pay.
- Yeah!
362
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,497
And now, without further ado...
363
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,567
Did somebody ask for ado?
364
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,336
Hey, Homer.
Good to see you.
365
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,272
Yeah, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
366
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,075
This man took simple,
beautiful animal robots
367
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,910
designed to sell pizza
368
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,646
and turned them into something
crass and commercial.
369
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,050
Well, it's all over, J. J.‐‐
370
00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,919
if those are your real initials.
371
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,796
I'm going to burn
the only copy of this movie.
372
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:19,632
Actually, the movie's backed up
on servers all over the world.
373
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,499
That reel is just a prop
from the snack stand.
374
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,770
Oh.
I wondered why it was buttery.
375
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:28,074
You can't release this movie.
Changing those characters
376
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,377
- will ruin my childhood.
- Bullpucky!
377
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,650
So that's who
Mom called earlier.
378
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,652
So satisfying.
379
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,989
Son, a movie
can't ruin your childhood.
380
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,659
I ruined it
by being a terrible father.
381
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,328
- But the movie.
- No, it was me.
382
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,998
I put you down,
I never listened to you,
383
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,634
said your dreams
were ridiculous.
384
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,602
Maybe it was the way
I was brought up.
385
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,904
Men back then
could only love sports stars
386
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,073
and auto makes.
387
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,110
I was a Chevy man
and I thought that was enough.
388
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:07,113
The '63 Impala SS sport coupe‐‐
389
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,915
now, that was a son.
390
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,085
Of course.
It's not the movie that sucks,
391
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,421
it was you sucking.
392
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,890
It was always you sucking.
393
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,527
I hate you, Dad.
394
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,762
Aw.
395
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,465
Homer, I know you were
attached to the past,
396
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,268
but this movie‐‐
all 71 minutes of it‐‐
397
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,803
might help
a new generation of kids
398
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,638
forget their terrible parents.
399
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,542
- Like us, Dad.
- I want to forget so bad.
400
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:40,112
- Mm.
- Go on, make your movie.
401
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,447
It's literally already done.
402
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,083
I guess the only time
I'll see my friends now
403
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,985
is on the big screen.
404
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,054
Well, actually...
405
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,827
The band is back together.
406
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,162
I had them reprogrammed
407
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,964
to dispense frozen yogurt
at the after party.
408
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,167
Goodbye, old friend.
409
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,003
You'll always be a part of me.
410
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,072
Ah...
411
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,853
To all who dare reboot a movie,
412
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,254
comic book, or TV show‐‐
413
00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,591
you are being watched
by Troll Force Five!
414
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:29,028
Mary Sue, who writes
fan fiction starring herself.
415
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,697
"Harry Potter turned and said,
'Without Mary Sue,
416
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,333
I never could have brought
Dumbledore back to life.'"
417
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,668
The Furry‐‐ the ultimate expert
418
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,871
on poorly‐rendered CGI hair.
419
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,273
That's not what it looks like
when a bear sweats.
420
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,775
The Shipper‐‐ able to detect
421
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,778
romantic connections
where, clearly, none exist.
422
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,781
-C‐3
-PO and Chewbacca
are definitely a couple.
423
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,716
Stan, who can ruin anything
424
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,818
by loving it too much.
425
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,186
Together, we are...
426
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,334
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
427
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,559
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
428
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,294
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
429
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,830
♪ Your mother's got flavor,
your father's got the flavor ♪
430
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,308
♪ Your sister and your brother
and your cousins ♪
431
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:07,767
♪ Got the flavor, the flavor ♪
432
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,502
♪ Flavor that
you crave so much ♪
433
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,403
♪ Flavor with boom,
flavor that goes crunch ♪
434
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,972
♪ Tell me, who's got flavor ♪
435
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,038
♪ I do, I do ♪
436
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,074
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
437
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,175
♪ I do, I do ♪
438
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,443
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
439
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:18,577
♪ I do, I do ♪
440
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:19,779
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
441
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:20,980
♪ I do, I do ♪
442
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,181
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
443
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:23,249
♪ The funky hip‐hop ♪
444
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:25,951
♪ Feel the beat drop ♪
445
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,018
♪ Hour after hour ♪
446
00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:28,052
♪ Sweet, nothing sour ♪
447
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,456
♪ Kick it like horsepower ♪
448
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,791
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
449
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:32,992
♪ I do, I do ♪
450
00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:33,993
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
451
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:34,994
♪ I do, I do ♪
452
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:35,995
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
453
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:36,996
♪ I do, I do ♪
454
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:37,997
♪ Who's got... ♪
455
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,199
Shh!