1 00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,872 ♪ 2 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,707 YOUNG GRAMPA: Homer, get your lazy butt out of bed! 3 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,177 You're gonna be late for work! 4 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:13,146 (whoops) Going to work! 5 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:16,049 (early‐'90s hip‐hop playing) 6 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,594 Hey, what's the haps, pop‐diggity? 7 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,329 D'oh! What's wrong with you? 8 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,833 Can't you talk like a normal 55‐year‐old man? 9 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,269 You'll never understand hip‐hop, Dad. 10 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,104 I understand plenty. 11 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,039 You're wasting your life 12 00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,208 trying to be some kind of "d'jay." 13 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:42,876 It's DJ, dad. 14 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,145 You'll see, I'm gonna have my moment. 15 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,514 Check your watch‐‐ it's Homer Time! 16 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,650 - (grunting) - (sneakers squeaking) 17 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,451 Where you going, Homer? 18 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,387 To my happy place. 19 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,128 All right team, the word of the day is "upsell." 20 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,164 Every medium pizza should be extra‐large 21 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,733 and every thin‐crust should be deep dish. 22 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,936 Mozzarella is money. 23 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,905 Do I make myself as clear as this Crystal Pepsi? 24 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,073 Ah. 25 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,975 Ah, pointless. 26 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,077 Okay, everyone, it's showtime. 27 00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,746 Homer, plug in the band. 28 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,816 What's up, party people? 29 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,785 Put your greasy hands together 30 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:28,555 for the Razzle Dazzle Rockin' Rollin' Revue! 31 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:33,193 (gears clanking) 32 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,330 ♪ A‐one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, pizza ♪ 33 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,799 ♪ A‐five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, pizza ♪ 34 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,835 ♪ We're gonna pizza around the pizza tonight ♪ 35 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,203 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,776 ♪ We're gonna pizza around ♪ 37 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,780 ♪ The pizza tonight. ♪ 38 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,122 Oh, listen to that applause, Wakkety. 39 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:04,658 Those kids love pizza rock! 40 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,860 You suck, Yak. 41 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,531 Kids, I tell you, our pizza can't be beat. 42 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,335 Pizza can't... I... beat kids... 43 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:18,138 I beat kids. I beat kids. 44 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,806 (all screaming) 45 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,475 That robot's threatening the kids. 46 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:22,809 Everyone's leaving. 47 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,977 (exclaims) 48 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,479 Do something! 49 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,649 This is my moment. 50 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,654 ("Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice playing) 51 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,256 ♪ All right, stop ♪ 52 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,658 ♪ Grab a plate and listen ♪ 53 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,426 ♪ Yak is back with a menu addition ♪ 54 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,762 ♪ Regular toppings don't get the job done ♪ 55 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,664 ♪ Premium toppings get my mouth sprung ♪ 56 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,832 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 57 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,768 - ♪ Sun‐dried tomatoes ♪ - Oh! - Ah! 58 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,770 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 59 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,938 - ♪ Canadian bacon ♪ - Whoa! - Yeah. 60 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,007 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 61 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,109 - ♪ Kalamata olives ♪ - Yeah! - Whoa! 62 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,178 ♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪ 63 00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,614 - ♪ Premium toppings, yo ♪ - (all cheering) 64 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,382 You know what, instead of pepperoni, 65 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,217 let's get the Canadian bacon. 66 00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,620 So premium. 67 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,255 ♪ Sauce to your pizza. ♪ 68 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,624 (kids cheering) 69 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,727 That was a heck of a show. 70 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:17,264 I was selling Nutzo Bread like it was Weirdo Wedges. 71 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,565 (whistles) 72 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,635 Say, instead of pizza versions of old songs, 73 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,805 we should be playing pizza versions of new songs. 74 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,607 Homer, I want you to create a whole new show, 75 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,910 ripping off the music you care about. 76 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:33,613 (gasps) All the Ices from Cube to T. 77 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,048 Thank you, Mr. Gunderson. 78 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,585 Guys, we got a lot of work to do. 79 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,353 I beat kids. 80 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,990 Beat kids. Beat kids. 81 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,492 YOUNG HOMER: Dad, tonight's 82 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,637 my big show at the pizza place. You're coming, right? 83 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,464 Son, I don't know quite how to put this, but 84 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,833 you're a fool and your dreams are garbage. 85 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,268 Now, get out of here before I say something I'll regret. 86 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,505 I'll show you who's a fool. 87 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,006 (grunting) 88 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:00,941 (mutters): Such a jerk. 89 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,442 (grunting) 90 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:05,378 (indistinct chatter) 91 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,780 Big crowd out there. 92 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,715 You guys are gonna be great tonight. 93 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,217 I know it. 94 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,786 That's okay, it's just nerves. 95 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,588 Dah, the place is packed. 96 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,790 This is why I went into business‐‐ 97 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,693 to make money. 98 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,464 Homer Cool J Simpson presents the new and improved 99 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,335 Phuntime Phunky Phour! 100 00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,470 ♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐ pizza ♪ 101 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,240 ♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐ pizza ♪ 102 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,342 (cheering) 103 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,613 ♪ Whoomp, there it is. ♪ 104 00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,914 Whoomp, who are you? 105 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:43,316 FBI. We're shutting this place down. 106 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,253 - This business is a front for drug trafficking. - (music stops) 107 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,288 Confiscate those robots. 108 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,023 But they're innocent. 109 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,359 You're just harassing them because they're rappers. 110 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:55,328 (grunts) 111 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:56,830 D'ope! 112 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,665 That cocaine isn't mine. 113 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,667 I never touch sweet, sweet booger sugar. 114 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:03,436 Let's all buy Beemers with hundred‐CD disc changers‐‐ 115 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,905 they fill the whole trunk! 116 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,473 MTV, baby! 117 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,376 (cackling) 118 00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,078 No, don't take my friends. 119 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,413 No! 120 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,216 (sobbing) 121 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,684 Told ya. 122 00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,655 (sobbing) 123 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:25,625 And I never saw my robot friends again. 124 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,094 So... are we still 125 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,463 going to Ralph's birthday party? 126 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:34,134 Never! This is where my dreams died. (sobs) 127 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,969 I almost didn't get these cones, 128 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,439 and you know what, I'm glad I did. 129 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,708 (continues sobbing) 130 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,752 Homie, it's been three days since that terrible memory 131 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:55,689 came back, and you haven't said anything about it. 132 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,691 Oh. (short chuckle) That? 133 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,860 What a silly thing to get upset about. 134 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:03,129 I totally overreacted. It's all in the past now. 135 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,098 Oops, don't want to be late for work. 136 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,267 Love you. Love you all. 137 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,035 ‐(door closes) ‐I can't stand 138 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,971 to see him like this. 139 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,806 What? Dad looks happy. 140 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,574 Something's deeply wrong. 141 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,544 He's missing his youthful spirit, 142 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,779 that spark that makes him who he is. 143 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,949 Did you see how he ate his breakfast? 144 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,218 He didn't shuffle his pancakes 145 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,454 like a deck of cards. 146 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,155 He doesn't air‐drum while driving 147 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,826 or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. 148 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,327 And he always won. 149 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,464 He's not my Homie anymore. 150 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,099 We didn't notice any of that. 151 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,402 (scoffs) A wife knows. 152 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,638 And a bartender. He's just... 153 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,273 he's just not the same. 154 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,842 He don't spin Barney around on the stool no more. 155 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,812 He don't drink beer from a crazy straw‐‐ just a sensible straw. 156 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,583 What are we gonna do about our little man, Midge? 157 00:06:56,650 --> 00:07:00,687 We're just gonna have to love him that much more. 158 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,924 I didn't think that was possible. 159 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,458 (crying) 160 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:08,295 I'm used to seeing Mom upset about Dad, but Moe‐‐ 161 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:10,096 that really shook me. 162 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,299 How do we heal the 14‐year‐old boy 163 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,935 who lost the thing he cared most about‐‐ 164 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,371 rapping pizza robots? 165 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,408 What? It's a very Dad kind of trauma. 166 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,911 Well, if losing those robots screwed him up, 167 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,248 what if we somehow found them again? 168 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,649 Hmm. 169 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,285 Dad told us Gil used to be his boss, 170 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,254 so maybe Gil could help us. 171 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,891 And I know just where to find him. 172 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,027 ("Hooray for Hollywood" playing) 173 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,270 Razzle Dazzle's‐‐ that was many lives ago. 174 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,839 I was top of the heap, making kids happy 175 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,342 with music and pizza. 176 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,844 My Dad said you were also selling drugs. 177 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,146 Ah, the drugs sold themselves, kid. 178 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,282 The whole world was my nostril. 179 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:05,051 Look, after you "went away," 180 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,619 what happened to those singing robots? 181 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,722 Well, the FBI sold them at auction, 182 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,224 but I never lost track of my babies. 183 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,293 I'm gonna get those robots back, 184 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,462 and start a new kiddie pizza place, 185 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,698 then use that as a front to sell even better drugs! 186 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,867 ‐(giggles) ‐Gimme that. 187 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,770 (gasps) This is it. They're all here. 188 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,540 Lis, we're getting the band back together. 189 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,642 ♪ ♪ 190 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,817 You can't take Jive Turkey. 191 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,986 He's the centerpiece of my priceless collection 192 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,322 of disco memorabilia. 193 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,324 For God's sake, Stuart. 194 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,159 Get rid of this stuff. 195 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:49,996 You've wasted your life on America's worst music craze. 196 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,666 I'm just glad your father, Doo‐Wop Steve, 197 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,935 didn't live to see this. 198 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,838 Hmm... Take him. 199 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,473 Thank you, Mrs... 200 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,542 Public Domain Debbie. 201 00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:06,379 ♪ On top of Old Smoky ♪ 202 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,115 ♪ All covered in snow. ♪ 203 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,753 Please, Professor. This mechanical‐‐ 204 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,355 what is it, a beaver?‐‐ 205 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,059 it's the key to my husband's emotional recovery. 206 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,061 Aw... (mumbles) 207 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,897 Well, I understand that need to develop an attachment 208 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:27,200 to a piece of machinery to combat loneliness. 209 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,601 What do‐what do you say, boys, 210 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,737 should I... should I just let her have him? 211 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,639 Free him, you monster. 212 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,107 Free all of us. 213 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,110 He programs us to lose. 214 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,479 (alarm chirps) 215 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:43,049 Hmm. Why would I, a major local celebrity, 216 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,752 possess a robot from a defunct pizza parlor? 217 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,754 The very notion is absurd. 218 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,656 Oh, of course. I'm sorry, sir. 219 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,591 My mistake. Sorry to bother you. 220 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,727 Oh, uh, there is one more thing, sir. 221 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,372 I see that you go through a lot of this, uh, 222 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:59,165 mechanical oil stuff here. 223 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,802 Well, there's a perfectly logical explanation, Bartender. 224 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:07,006 I spray it on my rusty door hinges. 225 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,942 Oh, right, now I get it. 226 00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,186 You don't want anyone to know that 227 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,178 a respectable gent like yourself 228 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,814 is using this here WD‐40 229 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,449 and this silk kimono 230 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,285 and this Enrique Iglesias CD 231 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,387 with your sex robot! 232 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,930 Oh, yeah, the yak. 233 00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:33,133 I used him to test the Kevlar vests. 234 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,934 I liked the way he would sing about pizza 235 00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,870 every time I shot him in the chest. 236 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:40,206 You're a little late, though. I just sold him to those guys. 237 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,674 (Bart and Lisa gasp) 238 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:43,752 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where‐where are you going with that? 239 00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:47,147 We're taking it to the new local offices of J. J. Abrams. 240 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,715 J.J. Abrams. 241 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,819 What's a big Hollywood director doing in Springfield? 242 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,888 Making the next Mission: Impossible. 243 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,223 Downtown Springfield's standing in for Somalia. 244 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,492 What does he want with this rickety piece of junk? 245 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:00,727 As a visionary genius, 246 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,495 J.J. needs to be kept in a constant state 247 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,330 of childlike wonder, 248 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:07,133 so we fill his creative space with kitsch, 249 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,102 whimsy, memorabilia. 250 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,436 ‐(phone dings) ‐(all gasp) 251 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,472 J.J. needs a Garbage Pail Kids pinball machine 252 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,241 and a roll of 1982 quarters. 253 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:17,510 Go, go, go! 254 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,448 Can I help you? 255 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,617 Yeah, we're a cool, young, 256 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,854 brother‐sister directing team and we'd like to speak 257 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:32,091 to a low‐level executive about a vague idea we have. 258 00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,860 Super vague. 259 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,595 Right away! 260 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,773 (gasps) There's the yak. 261 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,509 But how are we gonna get it out of here? 262 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:01,154 Step away from the kitsch. 263 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,090 What are you thinking, trying to steal from a Hollywood big shot? 264 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,259 That's like murdering a dozen normos. 265 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,628 Sorry, Dad. We thought it would make you happy 266 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,997 if we got your old band back together. 267 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,801 The Phuntime Phunky Phour? That's impossible. 268 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:18,071 I'll never see those guys... again. 269 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,007 Yak. 270 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,342 It's you. 271 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,078 MAN: What a touching scene. 272 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,680 I know just how to shoot it. 273 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,015 - It's J. J.! - Roll his calls! 274 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,750 Don't step on his shadow. 275 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,353 Oh, no, I'm wearing the same shirt as him. Aah! 276 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,321 - Hi, I'm J. J. - Homer Jay. 277 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,156 Sorry my kids tried to steal from you. 278 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,400 It's just that they were trying 279 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,861 to get this old robot back, so... so... 280 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,197 So they could reunite the entire animatronic band 281 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,599 to heal the broken teenager inside of you. 282 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,600 (all gasp) 283 00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,336 How did you know my secret pain? 284 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,272 I didn't. My storytelling sense told me 285 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,141 this was the only emotionally cathartic end to your journey. 286 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,277 Master of story! 287 00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,280 He's the ultimate architect of cinematic universes, 288 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,048 and my dad's friend. 289 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,283 Mm... 290 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,119 I need to see all the robots together. 291 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,453 Wipe to... 292 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,156 (gasps) Foxxy, Turkey, 293 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,091 Hippie, and Wakkety! 294 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,893 You're all here. 295 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,296 I've never seen such genuine childlike wonder. 296 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,298 And I've been to dozens of test screenings. 297 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,500 Homer, your emotional connection to these characters 298 00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,168 has shown me that your journey can be 299 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,469 a universal experience, 300 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,405 - or at least Dreamworks. - What? 301 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,383 I have wonderful news: I'm gonna make these robots 302 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,643 the stars of their own nine‐movie franchise. 303 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,978 Buy the underlying IP. 304 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,013 - Done. You own it. - Fantastic. 305 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,748 Take them away. Take them? 306 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,483 But we just got reunited. 307 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,352 Oh, but I need them. My visual effects artists 308 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,920 have to scan them into supercomputers 309 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,356 so our mind‐blowing reboot will make its release date: 310 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,426 March 30‐‐ the new Fourth of July. 311 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,528 No! (whimpering) 312 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,631 (sobbing) 313 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,801 No! The same thing happened again, 314 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,370 but slightly different, years later. 315 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,439 It's what I do. 316 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,482 I had them back and I lost them again. 317 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,618 Homie, I know how hard this is for you. 318 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,154 I always say you shouldn't do this, 319 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,790 but maybe‐‐ just this once‐‐ 320 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,959 you should go eat your feelings. 321 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,261 Six feelings with extra cheese. 322 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,563 An order of French feelings, 323 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:27,300 and a super chocolate frosty depression. 324 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,936 I also recommend a hot apple cry. 325 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:33,206 Yes, I recognize a fellow sadness swallower. 326 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:38,010 And then J. J. Abrams took my robots away... 327 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,847 so he could reboot them. 328 00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,316 Why do Hollywood guys only want to make movies? 329 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,185 I used to be like you, getting angry at filmmakers 330 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,255 who ruined my favorite childhood characters, 331 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,657 stewing in silence. But now, 332 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,428 thanks to the Internet, I can fight back. 333 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,430 - You can? - Oh, yes, my friend. 334 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,865 It is called "trolling." 335 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:02,268 Thanks to social media super‐soldiers like myself, 336 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,704 studios spent millions to remove 337 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,473 Sonic the Hedgehog's creepy human teeth. 338 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,409 We changed the world 339 00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,711 of video game adaptations I never saw. 340 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,813 Then I'll do it. I'll become a troll, 341 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,782 stop J. J. Abrams' reboot, 342 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,451 and save my childhood. 343 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,453 And now I'm eating a feeling 344 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,555 I've never felt before. 345 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,061 ♪ 346 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,779 Marge, I've done it. 347 00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,056 The boycott is gaining momentum‐‐ 348 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,683 the supportive comments are pouring in. 349 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,019 Three of them! 350 00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:56,355 Homer, please. You've missed so much of your life. 351 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,690 Of our lives. 352 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,092 It's only a movie. 353 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,798 Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I have been 354 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,634 taking this nostalgia‐fueled vendetta too far. 355 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,303 ‐(computer dings) ‐(gasps) 356 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,238 Pizza movie news alert. 357 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,040 Hey, Springfield. I'm inviting you 358 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:16,742 to come to the Aztec Theatre tonight for a special preview 359 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,479 of my new animated movie, Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A. 360 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,382 How dare he do what he said he was gonna do! 361 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,027 I paused just long enough for anyone watching 362 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,120 to say something. And now, here's a little... 363 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,690 "slice" of what you'll see tonight. 364 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,595 NARRATOR: They'll save the world in 90 minutes... 365 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,630 or the movie is free. 366 00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,966 Written by Tony Kushner and Babaloo Mandel. 367 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,767 No. This reimagining 368 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,337 is worse than I could have ever imagined. 369 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,473 I've got to stop that screening. 370 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,076 (grunting) 371 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:53,679 There's only one person who can help my Homie now. 372 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,848 - Who are you calling? - No, don't tell us‐‐ 373 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,717 it'll be cooler when we find out later. 374 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,486 (indistinct chatter) 375 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,256 Reboots suck and you're to blame, 376 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,791 make it different, but the same! 377 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,294 Thank you, loyal trolls, for joining me 378 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,695 in my passion project: 379 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:13,299 destroying someone else's passion project. 380 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,602 Yes, every fan deserves movies that are individually tailored 381 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,938 to their preconceived ideas. 382 00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,208 Let's ruin everyone's night! 383 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,609 (applause) 384 00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,145 Welcome to this preview of Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A., 385 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,313 featuring the voice talents 386 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,448 of whoever was famous eight months ago. 387 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,783 (all quietly exclaiming) 388 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,385 But the real heroes are the thousands 389 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,787 of computer artists who worked around the clock, 390 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,822 slowly going blind, at such effects houses as 391 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,958 Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop, 392 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,494 Indentured Server‐dudes, and too many others to count. 393 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,929 - Or pay. - MAN: Yeah! 394 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,497 And now, without further ado... 395 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,567 Did somebody ask for ado? 396 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:48,633 (all gasp) 397 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,336 Hey, Homer. Good to see you. 398 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,272 Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? 399 00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:56,075 This man took simple, beautiful animal robots 400 00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,910 designed to sell pizza 401 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,646 and turned them into something crass and commercial. 402 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:04,050 Well, it's all over, J. J.‐‐ 403 00:18:04,116 --> 00:18:06,919 if those are your real initials. 404 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,796 I'm going to burn the only copy of this movie. 405 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:19,632 Actually, the movie's backed up on servers all over the world. 406 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,499 That reel is just a prop from the snack stand. 407 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,770 Oh. I wondered why it was buttery. 408 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:28,074 You can't release this movie. Changing those characters 409 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,377 - will ruin my childhood. - GRAMPA: Bullpucky! 410 00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,312 (all gasp) 411 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:34,981 (grunts) 412 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,650 So that's who Mom called earlier. 413 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,652 So satisfying. 414 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,989 Son, a movie can't ruin your childhood. 415 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,659 I ruined it by being a terrible father. 416 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,328 - But the movie. - No, it was me. 417 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,998 I put you down, I never listened to you, 418 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,634 said your dreams were ridiculous. 419 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,602 Maybe it was the way I was brought up. 420 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,904 Men back then could only love sports stars 421 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,073 and auto makes. 422 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,110 I was a Chevy man and I thought that was enough. 423 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:07,113 The '63 Impala SS sport coupe‐‐ 424 00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,915 now, that was a son. 425 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,085 Of course. It's not the movie that sucks, 426 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,421 it was you sucking. 427 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,890 It was always you sucking. 428 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,527 I hate you, Dad. 429 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,762 ALL: Aw. 430 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,465 Homer, I know you were attached to the past, 431 00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,268 but this movie‐‐ all 71 minutes of it‐‐ 432 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,803 might help a new generation of kids 433 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,638 forget their terrible parents. 434 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:36,542 - Like us, Dad. - I want to forget so bad. 435 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:40,112 - Mm. - Go on, make your movie. 436 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,447 It's literally already done. 437 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,083 I guess the only time I'll see my friends now 438 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,985 is on the big screen. 439 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,054 Well, actually... 440 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,823 (gasps) 441 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,827 The band is back together. 442 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,162 I had them reprogrammed 443 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,964 to dispense frozen yogurt at the after party. 444 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,167 Goodbye, old friend. 445 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,003 You'll always be a part of me. 446 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,072 Ah... 447 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,853 COMIC BOOK GUY: To all who dare reboot a movie, 448 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,254 comic book, or TV show‐‐ 449 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:25,591 you are being watched by Troll Force Five! 450 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:29,028 Mary Sue, who writes fan fiction starring herself. 451 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,697 "Harry Potter turned and said, 'Without Mary Sue, 452 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,333 I never could have brought Dumbledore back to life.'" 453 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,711 COMIC BOOK GUY: The Furry‐‐ the ultimate expert 454 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,871 on poorly‐rendered CGI hair. 455 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,273 That's not what it looks like when a bear sweats. 456 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,818 COMIC BOOK BUY: The Shipper‐‐ able to detect 457 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,778 romantic connections where, clearly, none exist. 458 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,781 -C‐3 -PO and Chewbacca are definitely a couple. 459 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,716 COMIC BOOK GUY: Stan, who can ruin anything 460 00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,818 by loving it too much. 461 00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:54,186 Together, we are... 462 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,334 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 463 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,559 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 464 00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,294 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 465 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,830 ♪ Your mother's got flavor, your father's got the flavor ♪ 466 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,308 ♪ Your sister and your brother and your cousins ♪ 467 00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:07,767 ♪ Got the flavor, the flavor ♪ 468 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,502 ♪ Flavor that you crave so much ♪ 469 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,403 ♪ Flavor with boom, flavor that goes crunch ♪ 470 00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,972 ♪ Tell me, who's got flavor ♪ 471 00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,038 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 472 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,074 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 473 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,175 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 474 00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,443 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 475 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:18,577 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 476 00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:19,779 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 477 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:20,980 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 478 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,181 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 479 00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:23,249 ♪ The funky hip‐hop ♪ 480 00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,784 (beatboxing) 481 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:25,951 ♪ Feel the beat drop ♪ 482 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,018 ♪ Hour after hour ♪ 483 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:27,987 ♪ Sweet, nothing sour ♪ 484 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,121 (neighs) 485 00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,456 ♪ Kick it like horsepower ♪ 486 00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,791 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 487 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:32,992 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 488 00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:33,993 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 489 00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:34,994 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 490 00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:35,995 ♪ Who's got flavor ♪ 491 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:36,996 ♪ I do, I do ♪ 492 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:37,997 ♪ Who's got... ♪ 493 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,199 Shh!