1 00:00:07,031 --> 00:00:09,157 (humming) 2 00:00:09,326 --> 00:00:10,509 (explosion) 3 00:00:10,736 --> 00:00:13,846 Oh, my hallway-walking God! 4 00:00:14,073 --> 00:00:16,256 I've seen my fair share of workplace atrocities, 5 00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:18,833 but this one's gonna be hard not to whistle-blow. 6 00:00:18,927 --> 00:00:20,835 Uh, Carlson, how about you forget 7 00:00:20,929 --> 00:00:23,838 any unkillable irradiated airborne entities 8 00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:25,582 you think you saw 9 00:00:25,675 --> 00:00:28,009 and sign this nondisclosure agreement? 10 00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:31,846 I'm sorry, I have no choice but to speak up and say... 11 00:00:31,940 --> 00:00:33,848 what's in it for me? 12 00:00:33,942 --> 00:00:36,035 Guess who just got two VIP concert tickets 13 00:00:36,262 --> 00:00:38,186 to see Bob Seger tonight! 14 00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:39,705 Bob Seger! 15 00:00:39,932 --> 00:00:41,765 Which Bullet Band is he bringing? 16 00:00:41,858 --> 00:00:43,024 Silver! 17 00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:46,119 In that case, I'm closin' shop early. 18 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,789 (humming) 19 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:51,958 Marge, you know how nothing ever happens to me? 20 00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:55,112 Well, the curse has been lifted! 21 00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:57,447 Oh. I love how excited you are 22 00:00:57,541 --> 00:00:59,892 to chaperone the kids' weekend sleepover 23 00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:02,135 on the World War II battleship. 24 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,063 What?! Chaperoning? 25 00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,807 You can't just spring this on me at the last... 26 00:01:06,975 --> 00:01:10,644 (yelping) 27 00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:12,145 D'oh! 28 00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:14,573 Aw, you've got to fill in for me, Marge. 29 00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:16,909 I'd do it for you if you were the husband. 30 00:01:17,136 --> 00:01:18,744 You always get to do the fun thing 31 00:01:18,895 --> 00:01:20,412 and leave me holding the bag. 32 00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:22,414 I'll get you a new bag. A tote from the merch table. 33 00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:23,990 What size are you? 34 00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:28,921 No. I'm watching the Gen Gala red-carpet arrivals tomorrow. 35 00:01:29,148 --> 00:01:31,498 Can't you just record it and watch it next week 36 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,093 when me and Lenny are at the Hall & Oates concert? 37 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,744 Oh! I'm hosting the watch party. 38 00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:41,100 I have firm commitments from several A-level gays. 39 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,917 We're all gonna make snarky comments 40 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,604 about celebrities' outrageous outfits. 41 00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:49,108 I'm working up the courage to use the B-word on a man. 42 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,276 Okay, honey, I give up. 43 00:01:51,503 --> 00:01:53,003 You host your party. I go to the concert. 44 00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:55,021 No field trip for the kids. 45 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:57,174 It was your decision, so I'll let you tell them. 46 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,192 ♪ Yo-ho, yo-ho ♪ 47 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,912 ♪ A field trip life for me. ♪ 48 00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:06,366 (sighs) 49 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,701 (horn blares) 50 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,128 -Whoa! -Whoa. 51 00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:10,629 Mommy! Mommy! 52 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:14,133 I took a bite of my juice box because I forgot! 53 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,026 Ready about, sailors! 54 00:02:16,195 --> 00:02:18,545 Name's Captain Bowditch. 55 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,955 For the next 36 hours, you will be my crew 56 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:24,217 aboard the USS ship with a name we're not allowed to say anymore 57 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,052 and with good reason. 58 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,297 Now, the year is 1943. 59 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,726 We sailors have fought many battles in the Pacific theater, 60 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,654 but today we face our most vicious enemy yet: 61 00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:37,305 oxidation. 62 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:38,806 (booing) 63 00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,826 Kill those lousy Oxies! 64 00:02:41,011 --> 00:02:44,721 Rust has overtaken the vessel, and I'm giving you three tools 65 00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:47,815 to neutralize the threat: wire brushes, marine paint, 66 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,726 and the remainder of the weekend. 67 00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:51,061 (shouting excitedly) 68 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:54,506 Chaperones, you will stand watch in six-hour shifts. 69 00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,175 Now, pair up! 70 00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,678 Can you imagine getting stuck with Sarah Wiggum 71 00:02:59,905 --> 00:03:01,254 for the whole weekend? 72 00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:03,665 What's she looking for, a personality? 73 00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,833 (quiet laughter) 74 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:09,504 So, I guess we should figure out some system to pair up, like... 75 00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:10,898 Oh. 76 00:03:14,269 --> 00:03:15,694 (sighs) 77 00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:17,437 Hey, Sarah, we've met before. 78 00:03:17,589 --> 00:03:19,514 I'm Bart's mom, Marge. 79 00:03:19,683 --> 00:03:21,349 Hi. 80 00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:22,868 (sighs) 81 00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:27,748 So, overnight field trips-- the things we do for our kids. 82 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,268 Kids. 83 00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:32,527 So... 84 00:03:32,621 --> 00:03:35,130 have you ever been on a battleship before? 85 00:03:36,658 --> 00:03:38,091 Probably. 86 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:44,872 We're so close, we can read the labels 87 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,133 on the drummer's medications. 88 00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:48,802 Hey, I have that, too. 89 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,064 Mild depression rules! 90 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,066 Eh, nice seats, huh, fellas? 91 00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,735 Yeah, Mr. Burns' payoffs are always the best. 92 00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:59,905 Luckily, I was able to get my wife to take over chaperoning 93 00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:03,650 some stupid battleship weekend with Ralphie. 94 00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:05,652 Hey, I saddled my wife with that, too. 95 00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:07,654 Marge and Sarah were okay with that? 96 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,414 Ah, they'll be fine. 97 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,325 Wives, they love that World War II stuff. 98 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,569 (chuckles): Yeah, they're always gifting their husbands 99 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,404 books and movies about it, 100 00:04:16,498 --> 00:04:19,816 but you know they're really buying it them for themselves. 101 00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,093 Hmm. 102 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,820 And number ten would be... 103 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,415 oh, "telling a funny story." 104 00:04:27,584 --> 00:04:30,660 What are your top ten ways of starting a conversation? 105 00:04:30,679 --> 00:04:32,104 Talking. 106 00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:33,939 (sighs) 107 00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:35,999 I guess we should get back to the kids. 108 00:04:36,092 --> 00:04:37,425 They're asleep. 109 00:04:37,519 --> 00:04:38,777 What? 110 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,700 Almost midnight? How did it get so late? 111 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,996 Oh. It's only 8:50? 112 00:04:51,608 --> 00:04:55,352 Wait. Did you move the clock ahead 113 00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:58,038 to trick the kids into going to sleep early? 114 00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,448 Sarah, I'm impressed. 115 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,858 (gasps) Ooh. 116 00:05:02,027 --> 00:05:05,095 A bottle of pocket alcohol. 117 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:07,622 (exhales): Ah... 118 00:05:07,791 --> 00:05:10,124 Dang, this is the last place on earth I want to be. 119 00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:14,888 No offense, Marge, but, geez, this field trip sucks! 120 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:18,708 (gasps) You said all those words! 121 00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:20,468 I'm just quiet. 122 00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:22,896 Even though everyone thinks I'm an idiot. 123 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,139 No, no, we don't think you're an idiot. 124 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,141 We just think you're boring. 125 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,143 (gasps) Oops. 126 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,221 (laughter) 127 00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:33,223 Did you bring this from home? 128 00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:36,743 Actually, I got it from Admiral Dingdong's liquor cabinet. 129 00:05:36,912 --> 00:05:39,913 -It wasn't locked? -Oh, maybe it was. 130 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,065 Uh, wink. 131 00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,658 MARGE: Ooh. 132 00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,802 I've never done a swig. 133 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,846 Whoa! 134 00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:50,090 (laughter) 135 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:54,001 Oh, Sarah Wiggum, who are you? 136 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:58,005 I love Clancy, but you have no idea what it's like 137 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,859 to be married to a man with a dangerous job 138 00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,195 he's just not good at. 139 00:06:03,422 --> 00:06:04,437 Actually... 140 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,439 And with the way he eats, 141 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,441 each crust he sucks the cheese out of 142 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,351 could be his last. 143 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:12,445 Maybe I do understand. 144 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:16,433 It just takes so much work to be a mom and a wife 145 00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:18,768 and keep the goods in a tight little package, 146 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,194 if you catch my drift. 147 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:22,196 Sometimes it feels like he... 148 00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:23,489 Takes me for granted! 149 00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,459 Why do his last-minute man-plans have to ruin 150 00:06:26,628 --> 00:06:29,796 the one day of the year where I get to be catty? 151 00:06:29,965 --> 00:06:31,131 (chuckles): Hell yeah, sister. 152 00:06:31,299 --> 00:06:33,617 Well, you know what? You and me, 153 00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:36,636 we're like two fun peas in a party pod. 154 00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,805 We should do more hangouts. 155 00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:42,809 Oh, I'd like that, but there's a reason I keep to myself. 156 00:06:42,978 --> 00:06:43,977 Ooh. 157 00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:46,154 (singsongy): Secret reasons. 158 00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,241 (gasps) Oh, no. 159 00:06:49,468 --> 00:06:51,301 What are you doing here? 160 00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,412 How did you find me? 161 00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:54,654 Sarah! 162 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,289 Marge! 163 00:07:02,571 --> 00:07:04,589 MARGE: Please take this bag off my head. 164 00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:05,790 I think whoever you kidnapped 165 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,385 before me was a smoker. Ugh! 166 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,337 Why did you bring her into it? 167 00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:13,265 She's just some vanilla soccer mom. 168 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,933 She doesn't know anything. 169 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,562 Hey, once I start bagging heads, I can't stop. 170 00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,440 Hey, there, Sarah. I see you're hanging 171 00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,166 with the Yankee Candle crowd. 172 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,277 Wait. Y-You know these people? 173 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:27,595 Marge, meet Bette and Erin. 174 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,614 They're my old partners. 175 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,617 In a throuple? Who are the original two? 176 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,435 Partners in crime. 177 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,680 You're a criminal? 178 00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,540 Jeebus Crackers! 179 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,626 Hi, Mr. Seger. 180 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,353 Boy, you probably don't remember this, 181 00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:45,130 but I saw you at an airport once, 182 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,524 and I was too nervous to say anything, 183 00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:49,526 and then it wasn't you. 184 00:07:49,695 --> 00:07:51,544 We love you, man! We promised our wives 185 00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:54,030 we'd go on some dumb school field trip, 186 00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:57,434 but when we got these tickets, we ditched them so fast. 187 00:07:58,537 --> 00:07:59,886 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 188 00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:02,129 You broke a promise to your wives? 189 00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:05,150 A good husband's supposed to be "Like a Rock." 190 00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:07,635 Because we're all running "Against the Wind." 191 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,637 Terrible "Night Moves." 192 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,805 Look at this. 193 00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:12,473 Those aren't tour dates. 194 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:15,577 They're all the times I've kept commitments to my wife. 195 00:08:17,723 --> 00:08:19,239 "Rock and Roll Never Forgets" 196 00:08:19,391 --> 00:08:22,225 the needs of his coequal life companion. 197 00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:24,485 You sicken me. 198 00:08:24,654 --> 00:08:27,413 Were... were we just Seger-shamed? 199 00:08:27,566 --> 00:08:29,824 Why, the real silver bullet is truth. 200 00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:31,676 We're terrible husbands. 201 00:08:31,828 --> 00:08:34,328 I never should have left Marge holding the bag. 202 00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:36,998 We've got to go make it up to Bob Seger. 203 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:39,226 And our wives. 204 00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,746 Sarah, you were a crook? 205 00:08:42,764 --> 00:08:44,597 Everything I never knew or cared to wonder about you 206 00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:46,599 has been a lie. 207 00:08:46,768 --> 00:08:49,361 We weren't crooks. We were thieves. 208 00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:50,770 ♪ A few times I've been around that track ♪ 209 00:08:50,939 --> 00:08:53,731 Sexy, girlie thieves. 210 00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:56,851 ♪ I ain't no hollaback girl, I ain't no hollaback... ♪ 211 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,020 They never saw us coming, 212 00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:01,188 but they loved to watch us walk away. 213 00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:03,616 There's nothing we wouldn't lift. 214 00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,043 Wallets. Watches. 215 00:09:05,194 --> 00:09:08,362 MP3 players that held over a hundred songs. 216 00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:10,215 Man, it was a blast. 217 00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:14,669 Our biggest jobs were brought to us by a gal named Red. 218 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,539 She got a line on some unsupervised diamonds 219 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:20,800 in a penthouse safe. 220 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,303 I was the driver, and as always... 221 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,730 the honeypot. 222 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,478 Ooh. Ow. 223 00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:33,738 Hey there, blue boy. 224 00:09:33,965 --> 00:09:36,466 I was walking past your big building 225 00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,410 and seemed to have sprained my ankle 226 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,579 because of my high flops. 227 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,155 Do you happen to have... 228 00:09:42,324 --> 00:09:44,157 -What, a girlfriend? -...an icepack? 229 00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:45,250 (both laughing) 230 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,810 I'm sorry. I'm s... 231 00:09:46,828 --> 00:09:48,311 Of course, of course I do. 232 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,589 Uh, this is just my night job, by the way. 233 00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,425 I'm, uh, putting myself through the police academy. Yeah. 234 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,653 -Isn't that free? -Well, the first time, yeah. 235 00:09:56,671 --> 00:09:59,598 I love a man in a rented uniform. 236 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,600 (moaning) 237 00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:10,108 The kiss was part of the plan. 238 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,169 But falling head over high flops wasn't. 239 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:15,171 Clancy... 240 00:10:15,264 --> 00:10:17,449 (siren wailing) 241 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,118 -(gasps) Oh, no. -No, no, don't leave. 242 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,454 Come back to pile. 243 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,180 Uh, I gotta go, blue boy. 244 00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:26,516 -I'm sorry. -Ah, no problem. 245 00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,461 -Oh, um, will you marry me? -Probably! 246 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:30,945 (gasps) 247 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,856 I was supposed to be the getaway driver. 248 00:10:32,874 --> 00:10:34,691 My best friends were arrested. 249 00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:36,376 And it was all my fault. 250 00:10:36,544 --> 00:10:38,361 Oh, cool your jets. 251 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:40,029 Yeah, hot jets. 252 00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:42,623 ERIN: It wasn't your fault we got busted. 253 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,884 We were set up... 254 00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,645 by Red. 255 00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:49,389 (alarm blaring) 256 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,541 (gasping) 257 00:10:51,710 --> 00:10:53,801 She got away with our whole take, 258 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,803 including the Hourglass Diamond. 259 00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:58,381 That backstabbing sack of Spanx. 260 00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:01,493 Wait, so it wasn't my fault you got caught. 261 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:05,221 Yeah, and if you hadn't gone all horndog on that rent-a-cop, 262 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,814 you'd have been locked up, too. 263 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,149 We found Red. 264 00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:10,818 She goes by the name Lindsey Naegle now. 265 00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:12,745 I've heard of her. 266 00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:16,007 She works in various female executive positions around town. 267 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:19,160 We've got a plan to steal that diamond back from her, 268 00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:21,437 and you're gonna help us. 269 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,589 No, I left that life behind me. 270 00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:25,183 I have a husband now, 271 00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:28,169 and a son who's smart in a way we haven't figured out yet. 272 00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:31,672 Well, it'd be a real shame if the Chief of Police 273 00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:34,025 found out his wife was a common criminal. 274 00:11:34,252 --> 00:11:36,343 (gasps) You never told Clancy? 275 00:11:36,512 --> 00:11:38,438 Let's just say he's always been better 276 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,606 at planting evidence than finding it. 277 00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:43,868 Why don't I just call him now and tell him everything? 278 00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:46,788 I'm in. 279 00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:50,709 Our wives are missing? 280 00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:52,377 Not unheard of. 281 00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:54,879 Most women have such an idealized version 282 00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:56,956 of the Second World War in their heads 283 00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:59,050 that when they meet the cold, hard reality, 284 00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:00,385 they can't face it. 285 00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:01,886 Did you see what happened? 286 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,963 There was but one witness. 287 00:12:04,132 --> 00:12:07,708 Junior Seaman Ralph, give your account of the watch. 288 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:11,563 The mommies got new face hats, then got into a slidey-door car. 289 00:12:11,714 --> 00:12:13,398 (chuckles) Don't worry, I speak Ralph. 290 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:16,292 Face hats? Slidey-door? (gasps) 291 00:12:16,311 --> 00:12:17,977 God, they were kidnapped! 292 00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:21,314 -(gasps) -And there's only one man bold enough 293 00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:24,075 to kidnap the wives of the chief of police 294 00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:26,411 and his slightly slimmer acquaintance. 295 00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:28,246 Sarah was kidnapped? 296 00:12:28,397 --> 00:12:31,307 Oh, spare me the act. We know it was you. 297 00:12:31,326 --> 00:12:33,326 I spare, I swear. 298 00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:36,145 I need your family to be happy and healthy, 299 00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:38,923 because who else would I say it would be a shame 300 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,593 if something were to happen to? 301 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:44,429 Okay, but what about one of your cronies? 302 00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:47,098 I assure you, you are a beloved figure 303 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,267 amongst my business brethren. 304 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,160 CLANCY: Mm. 305 00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:54,998 (whispers): You look a lot like that guy Chief Bungles. 306 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:58,276 But there's no other reason to kidnap Sarah. 307 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,336 She's just my little schmoop-a-doop, 308 00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:02,113 and that's all there is to her. 309 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,783 Apparently not. (laughs) 310 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,285 Perhaps your wives were not kidnapped. 311 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,955 Perhaps they left because you are selfish men. 312 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,349 That's the only explanation. 313 00:13:13,442 --> 00:13:15,960 It was all about us. 314 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,004 All right, what's the job? 315 00:13:19,282 --> 00:13:21,190 Naegle sold the jewels she ripped off from us 316 00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:23,192 and became a fancy socialite. 317 00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:24,803 She kept the biggest rock for herself. 318 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:28,431 The Hourglass Diamond-- it's in her tiara. 319 00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:32,035 And we're gonna steal it back 320 00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:34,704 when she wears it to the Gen Gala, tomorrow. 321 00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:38,465 You're gonna rob the Gen Gala? 322 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,569 Sorry, sorry. Scheme away. 323 00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:44,989 Okay, here's how it's gonna work. 324 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,550 First, we come up through this manhole. 325 00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:48,885 Nope! 326 00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:50,311 Excuse you? 327 00:13:50,479 --> 00:13:52,722 Look, I may not know anything about heists, 328 00:13:52,891 --> 00:13:56,576 but I am the world's biggest superfan of the Gen Gala, 329 00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,152 and your plan won't work. 330 00:13:58,321 --> 00:13:59,153 And why not? 331 00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:01,506 If you did any research, 332 00:14:01,657 --> 00:14:03,824 you'd know Beyoncé's going to be carried in 333 00:14:03,993 --> 00:14:06,327 by 20 plus-size gladiators, 334 00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:08,329 who will form a human pyramid 335 00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:10,256 right on top of your way in. 336 00:14:10,408 --> 00:14:11,424 No heist. 337 00:14:11,593 --> 00:14:12,851 If you're so Kmart smart, 338 00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,335 how would you get in? 339 00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:17,522 Well, these entrances will be blocked by fans, 340 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,673 press and authorized stalkers. 341 00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:22,843 The best plan would be to put on a crazy dress 342 00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:24,937 and sneak in through the red carpet. 343 00:14:25,106 --> 00:14:28,107 Although, you wouldn't get far without a publicist 344 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,201 who knows everything about the gala. 345 00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:33,446 -Someone like you? -Yeah. 346 00:14:33,615 --> 00:14:36,949 This vanilla soccer mom could be our secret weapon. 347 00:14:37,118 --> 00:14:38,951 Me? Join the robbery? 348 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,861 (scoffs) No way! 349 00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:43,956 Stealing is one of the big "thou shalt nots." 350 00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:45,458 It's not about the cash. 351 00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:47,126 It's about setting things right. 352 00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:50,446 Lindsey Naegle betrayed us for money and fame, 353 00:14:50,615 --> 00:14:53,725 and all we got are bad prison tattoos. 354 00:14:53,876 --> 00:14:55,968 MARGE: Aw, duckies! 355 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,637 Marge, aren't you tired 356 00:14:57,805 --> 00:14:59,972 of being underestimated and overlooked? 357 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,900 Together, we can right a wrong 358 00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,976 and look damn good doing it. 359 00:15:04,145 --> 00:15:06,529 I've always wanted to say this... 360 00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:08,907 I'm in. 361 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,618 ♪ ♪ 362 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,565 This is Kent Brockman outside 363 00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:19,825 the Museum of Generational Wealth for the annual Gen Gala. 364 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:21,327 This year's theme is "The Audacity." 365 00:15:21,496 --> 00:15:23,829 A bold contrast to last year's theme: 366 00:15:23,998 --> 00:15:25,373 "The Nerve." 367 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,925 But I'm stuck out here, 368 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,594 where hundreds of nobodies have gathered to watch 369 00:15:29,745 --> 00:15:32,597 dozens of somebodies walk up some stairs. 370 00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:34,581 Should we do this without Marge? 371 00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,750 This is her favorite watching-party of the year. 372 00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:38,494 (booing) 373 00:15:38,513 --> 00:15:41,164 Forget her. I'm jonesing for snark. 374 00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:42,682 Oh, God, would you look at that dress. 375 00:15:42,850 --> 00:15:45,426 Who is the designer, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? 376 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,171 -Probably? -ALL: Ah... 377 00:15:48,264 --> 00:15:50,740 Ah, that's the good shade. 378 00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:55,102 The plan's working. We look amazing. 379 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,330 Now, let's get those tickets. 380 00:16:14,732 --> 00:16:17,291 The 55 stairs. 381 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,127 The Tanqueray stiletto sharpener. 382 00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,872 The Swarovski crystal wheelchair ramp. 383 00:16:22,890 --> 00:16:24,631 -(gasps) -Stop gawking. 384 00:16:24,726 --> 00:16:26,392 Where do we let the other girls in? 385 00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:29,136 Right over there, next to-- Oh, my God! 386 00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:30,880 Rihanna! (gasps) 387 00:16:31,049 --> 00:16:34,409 I listen to the clean versions of all your songs! 388 00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:40,248 Now, let's see if there's any honey left in this pot. 389 00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:44,818 Excuse me, I seemed to have a pulled a muscle. 390 00:16:44,912 --> 00:16:48,064 Do you have an ice pack so that my leg can stop... 391 00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:50,157 -quivering? -(gulps) 392 00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:51,676 Right away, ma'am. 393 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,220 Oh-ho, hot stuff. 394 00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,599 Ugh, no sign of our wives. 395 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,768 We checked out all their favorite places, 396 00:17:08,936 --> 00:17:11,103 but turns out we don't pay enough attention 397 00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:12,588 to know what those are. 398 00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:14,106 So I don't know what we did. 399 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,184 It was my distinct pleasure to watch your son. 400 00:17:17,353 --> 00:17:19,520 I find we are quite simpatico. 401 00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:23,124 Both of us know nothin' about nothin'. 402 00:17:24,786 --> 00:17:25,526 JOHNNY TIGHTLIPS: Oh! 403 00:17:25,694 --> 00:17:27,953 Now that's a fluid gender! 404 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:31,716 I wouldn't mind asking them their preferred pronouns. Oh! 405 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:34,443 (gasps) If I'm not mistaken, 406 00:17:34,462 --> 00:17:37,780 that's how Marge looks when she's happy. 407 00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:39,131 And that's my Sarah! 408 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,725 Come on, Homer. 409 00:17:40,876 --> 00:17:44,145 It looks like this town's got a museum. 410 00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:52,528 There's Lindsey, and she's wearing the tiara. 411 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,077 Okay, don't be nervous. 412 00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:01,637 -You can do this. -Nervous? 413 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:04,624 This is the best field trip of my fricking life! 414 00:18:05,827 --> 00:18:09,312 Ms. Naegle, can I just say, "that dress." 415 00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:12,315 I know, right? You go, girl. (chuckles) 416 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,258 What setting would you even wash that on? 417 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,319 Delicate? Eco-warm? 418 00:18:16,337 --> 00:18:19,430 I bet it would make so much noise in the dryer, right? 419 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,826 Um, I don't want this to sound harsh, 420 00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:26,329 but you're not famous, so you don't exist. 421 00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:27,496 Bye now. 422 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:30,333 Darling, stop talking to that empty chair 423 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:33,069 and come take a selfie at the Fenty lip gloss fountain. 424 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,077 Oh, it's a fake! 425 00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:44,104 I've been robbed! 426 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,940 Somebody stop those two nobodies! 427 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:47,959 Keep it cool. 428 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,127 We just have to slip out of here 429 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,853 without anyone noticing us. 430 00:18:51,022 --> 00:18:53,689 -(sirens blaring) -(gasping) 431 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:56,283 WIGGUM (over bullhorn): Sarah Wiggum, freeze! 432 00:18:57,528 --> 00:19:01,305 We're here to give you ladies the attention you deserve! 433 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,308 (panting) 434 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:11,707 Shh! Now is not the time, Clancy. 435 00:19:11,876 --> 00:19:13,876 No, no, when it comes to love, 436 00:19:14,045 --> 00:19:16,303 it's always the time for shouting! 437 00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,305 Sar-ah Wig-gum! 438 00:19:18,474 --> 00:19:20,383 Schmoop-a-doop! 439 00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:23,477 Shmoop-ba-da-doopa! 440 00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:26,055 -I love Sa-- -Shut up! 441 00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:28,166 Oh, God, ow. 442 00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:31,410 -Sarah Wiggum, who are you? -LINDSEY: That's her! 443 00:19:31,579 --> 00:19:32,795 She's the thief! 444 00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:35,080 (yelps) 445 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,757 (grunting) 446 00:19:42,907 --> 00:19:44,974 (grunting continues) 447 00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:47,334 (groans) 448 00:19:47,544 --> 00:19:50,337 Babe, who is she? 449 00:19:50,431 --> 00:19:52,264 This is my new girlfriend. 450 00:19:52,433 --> 00:19:54,675 You were tumbling for a long time. 451 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:56,435 Oh, you poor thing. 452 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,437 Here's your bag, sweetie. 453 00:19:58,589 --> 00:19:59,530 Oopsie! 454 00:19:59,682 --> 00:20:01,014 LINDSEY: Those aren't mine! 455 00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:02,942 -My earrings! -My blood diamond! 456 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:04,702 My conflict tennis bracelet! 457 00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:13,953 Oh, this time, leave me holding the bag. 458 00:20:14,121 --> 00:20:15,880 Aw, thanks, Homie. 459 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:18,216 But they're part of the ensemble. 460 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:23,888 Chalamet looks like dirt. 461 00:20:24,039 --> 00:20:26,282 BTS looks like seven dirts. 462 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,968 I see nerve there but nothing audacious. 463 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,063 Oh. My. God. 464 00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:33,564 Jeebus Crackers! 465 00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:34,807 That's Marge! 466 00:20:34,976 --> 00:20:38,569 What the hell is she doing at the Gen Gala? 467 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,821 Exactly. She looks like dirt. 468 00:20:42,149 --> 00:20:44,242 It's what she would have wanted. 469 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,244 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 470 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,246 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 471 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,290 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 472 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,923 Oh, Clancy. 473 00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:02,818 So, this whole time, I've been married to a master criminal. 474 00:21:02,837 --> 00:21:04,595 Damn straight. 475 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,764 (both moaning) 476 00:21:08,192 --> 00:21:10,559 Wait, wait, uh, where's Ralph? 477 00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:14,013 I must confess, 478 00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:15,664 I thought putting crushed-up Oreos 479 00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:18,425 into the cookies and cream yogurt would be redundant. 480 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:22,187 Instead, it is transcendent. 481 00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:25,174 (chuckles) I like to smoosh the gummy bears. 482 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,951 Hey, no touching! 483 00:21:27,102 --> 00:21:31,680 If the boy wants to smoosh, the boy will smoosh. 484 00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:33,849 I love you, scary daddy. 485 00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:37,962 I love you too, Ralphie "Stickie Hands." 486 00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:42,967 Shh!