1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,672
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,113
Children, I'm sorry to say
one of your lunches exploded.

3
00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:33,116
Who has the Little Bunny
FooFoo lunchbox?

4
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,410
Um... That would be me.

5
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,579
It's not my fault.
I can't afford

6
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,164
a better lunchbox
'cause I'm poor.

7
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,252
Shut up! My mom got
too fat to work at Hooters!

8
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,005
They won't even
let her park cars!

9
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,497
Please, children.
Don't be cruel.

10
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,095
Nelson might be poor but I'm
sure he has the seven dollars

11
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,139
for today's field trip.

12
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,765
Well, actually...

13
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,190
Someday...

14
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,067
Now, I know
the rest of us are excited

15
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,236
about visiting the Museum
of Television today.

16
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,321
Hey, don't tell us
how to feel!

17
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,656
Bart Simpson, be quiet!

18
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,993
Hey, that wasn't me.
That was... Milhouse?

19
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,037
Milhouse? What happened
to my little class coward?

20
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,123
What do you care,
Mrs. Krabappel?

21
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:26,377
Or should I say
"Mrs. Crab Apple?" Ha-ha!

22
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,754
"Crab Apple?"

23
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:28,880
I never thought of that.

24
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,131
It totally works.

25
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,467
Oh, how could
I have been so blind?

26
00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,303
Rollin', rollin', rollin'

27
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:37,180
Toxic barrel rollin'

28
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,182
They're so hot and glowin'

29
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,100
We'll die.

30
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,728
Smithers, the board of
directors is coming here today.

31
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,355
I don't want them to see Snap,
Crackle, and Pop down there.

32
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,692
Sir, there's a big cardboard box out
back that could keep them amused.

33
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,360
They could make a fort.
No, no.

34
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,155
Just give them each a nickel
and send them to Moe's.

35
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,865
Let them while away
the afternoon

36
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,552
spilling their beer
on gullets and trousers

37
00:01:57,576 --> 00:02:00,161
while drooling
over French postcards.

38
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,665
Hello, I'm lsabel Sanford,

39
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:07,376
the beloved Weezy from
The Jeffersons.

40
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,172
At this "museum,"
you won't see a Michelangelo,

41
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:15,426
but you might see Michael
Landon and Beverly D'Angelo.

42
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:18,304
This blows.
Let's sneak off.

43
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,515
Wander away from the group?

44
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,434
Man, you've been huffing
from the Bart bag.

45
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:27,897
To old man Burns, who's paying us
to drink because we're embarrassing.

46
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,065
We suck!
We suck!

47
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,238
A lot of that
went in my lungs.

48
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,698
Attention,
American bar devils.

49
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,409
It's our anniversary.
Free drinks for everyone.

50
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:45,623
That's great! I'm honored to
drink to Apu and... Apu-lina.

51
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:49,877
You know, Marge and I have
an anniversary coming up.

52
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,838
I have given
Manjula many gifts

53
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,548
including
a bouquet of flowers,

54
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:58,386
diamond earrings, and we're
going to see Paris Hilton in Paris.

55
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,056
Texas... On our way
to Paris... France.

56
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,433
What did you plan to
get your wife, Homer?

57
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,853
Well, these charity
address labels

58
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,396
that came in the mail.

59
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,356
Milhouse, why are
you acting so crazy?

60
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,900
Did your imaginary friend
try to kill you again?

61
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,361
No. Walter's been cool.

62
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:19,532
Bart, I gotta say something.
And it's not easy.

63
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,427
Well, if it's not easy, don't do
it. That's how I got where I am.

64
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:25,621
Then let's just
say I don't care

65
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,456
what people think
of me anymore.

66
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,667
You mean,
up until now you did care?

67
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,128
Then why did you wear
that tutu to school last week?

68
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,672
What about all the times
I didn't wear a tutu?

69
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,675
Nobody ever brings those up!
Now leave me alone!

70
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,719
It's the
Paul Lynde, Helen Reddy,

71
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,637
Hudson Brothers
Easter Special,

72
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:45,641
with guest stars Willie Tyler
and Lester, and Nadia Comaneci.

73
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,769
I'd like to hippity-hop
on your balance beam.

74
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:52,273
I don't think you understand the
mechanics of heterosexual sex.

75
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,901
Well, circle gets the square.

76
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:58,195
TV sure has come a long way,
huh, Milhouse?

77
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,244
Check it out! I'm riding
some guy named lronside!

78
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,831
Ow, my banana!
Danger, danger.

79
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,833
Door ajar.
The indignity.

80
00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,294
The agents got all my money.

81
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:18,925
I'm bored. Let's go switch
the heads on the Cosby kids.

82
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,222
I don't want to go home.
I'm not done talking to me.

83
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,975
Just get out this door, rummy,
and you're the city's problem.

84
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,938
If you make it through the
night, you're welcome back.

85
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,900
Ah. Home sweet home.
Now to watch some TV.

86
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:42,698
Oh... You poor soul. You
think that rat is a remote.

87
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,576
Here.

88
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,413
What? Five bucks?

89
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,791
I don't need your "sharity."

90
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,544
I'll dance for my money!

91
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,558
Oh, you poor man.
You think you can dance.

92
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,645
I didn't say stop.

93
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:20,611
Bart, there's something
I gotta tell you.

94
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,030
I'm moving.

95
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:24,156
What?

96
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,492
My mom got a job
in Capitol City.

97
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,329
Capitol City? You can't move
that far. You're my best friend!

98
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,081
What's your mom making?
I'll match it!

99
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,918
It's too late, Bart. My mom's
already transferred her 401 K.

100
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,504
No!

101
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,513
Luann, what are you doing?

102
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,016
Look, Kirk.
I need a fresh start.

103
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,018
Well, couldn't you
get a fresh start

104
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,936
by re-marrying
your old husband?

105
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,354
Kirk, we are going.

106
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:59,316
Fine. But you can't take
Milhouse. I have visitation rights.

107
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,069
Yes. And you're also supposed
to pay child support!

108
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,531
Hey, I thought you said
my money was no good.

109
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,034
I said you're no good.

110
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,119
Get in the car, Milhouse.

111
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,708
This isn't over!
I'll fight you

112
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,460
with every lunch
half-hour I get!

113
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,295
Oh! Speaking of which...

114
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,718
lt's gonna be tough
to be peppy today.

115
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,011
Tell me about it.

116
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,690
Why are your clothes
so dirty?

117
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:42,526
And why do you smell like
liquor? Have you been clubbing?

118
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,240
Homie, they're beautiful.

119
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,619
That Chevron Station has
the most romantic bouquets.

120
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,331
I feel a swoon
coming on.

121
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,166
Here it is.

122
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,835
I am so wasted.

123
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,964
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're
having a simultaneous pass out!

124
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,674
Well, at least
they're not fighting.

125
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,101
Right this way.

126
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,852
What's on the menu?

127
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,924
Oh, Bart, I'm sure it's hard
to lose your best friend.

128
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:49,301
You mean Milhouse?
Funny little guy.

129
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,053
Afraid of the dark
and the light.

130
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,514
Now I've got new friends.
Guys who get me.

131
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,142
There's one right now.

132
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,560
Who is it? Ls it Ralph?

133
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,436
It is not Ralph.

134
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:03,482
Hi, Bart. My nose makes
its own bubble gum.

135
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,569
Just get in here!

136
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:10,406
...18, 19, 20.

137
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,074
I found you, Bart!

138
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,201
Ralph, we're
playing checkers.

139
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,579
I don't like you, Boy-Mommy!

140
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,589
Oh, loveless loners
are so lucky.

141
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:29,967
There's no way I can afford to give
Marge a nice anniversary present.

142
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,848
Oh... You poor man. You smell
worse than you did last time.

143
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,695
Hey, buddy,
that's nice sign work.

144
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,739
Your penmanship
is clear, yet sad.

145
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,324
Hey, I know you.

146
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,909
We met in a police lineup.

147
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,036
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know, number two

148
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,746
and number four
are an item now?

149
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,998
You don't have to tell me,
I was number three.

150
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,459
Listen, you have any
pointers for a newbie?

151
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,836
Well, there are
six schools of begging.

152
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,713
Bad musician,
messed up vet, cripple,

153
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,133
fake cripple, religious
zealot, and crazy guy.

154
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:14,220
I think you would
do well with

155
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,429
crazy guy.

156
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,641
Coke and Pepsi are the
same thing! Wake up, people!

157
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,562
Wow. Now that is good crazy.

158
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,323
Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, no!

159
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,118
Oh, yes!

160
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:41,330
I never thought I'd have to
take a plane to see Milhouse.

161
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,625
Well, I'm sure
he'll be happy you came.

162
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,962
Now departing, No-Frills
Airlines Flight 89.

163
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,265
Milhouse, Bart's here.

164
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,141
What up, B?

165
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,810
Milhouse? Ls that you?

166
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,437
Yeah. I gave my looks
a new flava.

167
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,022
Suck it in!

168
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,440
Uh... Maybe later.

169
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,695
What up, M-life?

170
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,947
Milhouse, this isn't you.

171
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,324
This is my
only chance to be cool!

172
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,452
Now please, let me give you
a wedgie in front of these guys.

173
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,704
No way!

174
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,748
Please? I'll be gentle.

175
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,958
Oh, fine.

176
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,376
Wedgie!

177
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,463
Milhouse,
you went Cap City on him.

178
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,633
Springfield baby in a diaper,

179
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:37,303
poked his eye with
a windshield wiper.

180
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,848
Springfield baby!

181
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,725
I'll always love you, Bart.

182
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:46,020
Springfield baby!

183
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,709
Bart, honey, it's a nice day.
Why don't you play outside?

184
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,879
Outside? That's where
me and Milhouse played.

185
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:17,009
You know, I think your sister could
use a little help washing the car.

186
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:20,387
You'll be like an owl saying,
"Milhouse who?

187
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:24,266
"Milhouse who?
Milhouse who?"

188
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,643
Hey, Moldilocks. Mom says
I'm supposed to help you.

189
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,813
Fine. You can confirm
the accuracy of the hose.

190
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,400
You wet your pants!

191
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,194
Shut up!
It's a serious problem!

192
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,196
Lise, you are so dead.

193
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:44,244
I'm gonna hit you so hard
I'll kill your whole family.

194
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,704
Bart, you're in my family.

195
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:46,914
Shut up!

196
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,679
Homie, I'd like to know what
you've been doing after work.

197
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,057
Marge, I'm not
gonna lie to you.

198
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,270
I also found this
in your drawer.

199
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,900
All the answers
you need are in here.

200
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,652
Happy anniversary.

201
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,697
Are these Diamonique?
Nope.

202
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:21,990
Diamondelle?
Nope.

203
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,492
Cubic Diamondium?
Nope.

204
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,160
Dioxy-ribo-diamondoid?

205
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,829
Close but no cigar.

206
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,997
Just plain diamonds!

207
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:31,291
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

208
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,338
We finally have something
to put in the wall safe.

209
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,261
Hostess Twinkies?

210
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:46,265
I heard if you age them for
10 years, they turn to liquor.

211
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,936
Kids, go ride bikes
for a while, huh?

212
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,105
Yeah, you heard your mother.

213
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,696
We can't jump this ditch.

214
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,947
Sure we can.

215
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,282
But let me go first.

216
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,284
Everyone knows you're
the future of this family.

217
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,702
That's not true, Bart.

218
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,912
Mom and Dad value
us equally and...

219
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,206
Ah, you're right.
Okay, go ahead.

220
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,501
Geronimo!

221
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,924
Just forget everything
you know about gravity.

222
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,051
But I know so much about it.

223
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,386
Just do it!

224
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,474
Geronimo!

225
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,275
Look.

226
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,527
We can go inside.

227
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:45,574
Ooh! We're like Howard Carter
discovering the Temple of Tutankhamen.

228
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:49,453
Or like when I discovered
the school Xerox code. 1 -4-7.

229
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,339
Just saying it makes
my butt feel warm again.

230
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,168
Arrowheads!

231
00:13:56,252 --> 00:14:00,672
Pictographs! Bart, this is a
Native American burial mound.

232
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,925
Look!
He's picking his nose.

233
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,346
Hey, we shouldn't
tell anyone we were here.

234
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,223
This place should be
our special secret.

235
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:10,516
Okay. Shake.

236
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,438
Psych!

237
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,107
There's spiders
in your hair.

238
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,110
That's what you call
commitment to a bit.

239
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:25,739
Mr. Bo-jangles

240
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:29,451
Mr. Bo-jangles.

241
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:34,039
We're all Bo-Jangles.

242
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,833
Who killed Bo-Jangles?

243
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:41,088
Maybe it was you.

244
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,714
Thank you. Thank you.

245
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:45,634
Remember, my dog
up and died. Thank you.

246
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,304
You got your wife the earrings,
man. Why are you still doing this?

247
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,307
I want to get a second house,
closer to work.

248
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,270
He's taking all our business.
We're gonna have to do something.

249
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,648
We never do anything.
That's why we're bums.

250
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,650
Hey, you're a woman.

251
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,903
And you're a three-headed
devil dog! Devil dog!

252
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,029
Wanna make out?

253
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,823
No one wants to be alone.

254
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,616
"The mound builders

255
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:13,120
"worshipped turtles, as well as
badgers, snakes, and other animals."

256
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,830
Thank God
we've come to our senses

257
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,666
and worship a carpenter
who lived 2,000 years ago.

258
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,711
Hi, Janey.

259
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,007
Branford Marsalis' car broke
down outside your house?

260
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,927
And he's just jamming
till Wynton shows up?

261
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:35,601
Some other time maybe.

262
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,186
Today I'm just
hanging out at home.

263
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,319
Hey, Bart. I "borrowed"
my uncle's pellet gun.

264
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,695
You want to go shoot Apu?

265
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,989
Oh, that does sound fun.

266
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,993
But not today. I think I'm
just gonna hang out at home.

267
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,373
Oh, my God.
My brother's my best friend!

268
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,544
Oh, my God!
My sister's my best friend!

269
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,048
Diamonds. I still can't
believe he gave me diamonds.

270
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:12,387
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the baldest of them all?

271
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,977
One time,
I swung all the way around.

272
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,479
You did not.

273
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,813
Well, I know a guy who did.

274
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,982
Who? You don't know
him. He lives in Russia.

275
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,318
I can't believe
they're hanging out.

276
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,820
Ha! Maybe she'll be
a good influence on him.

277
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,364
Or maybe he'll corrupt her.

278
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,698
It won't last.

279
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,242
Brothers and sisters
are natural enemies,

280
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,538
like Englishmen and Scots,
or Welshmen and Scots,

281
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:43,251
or Japanese and Scots,
or Scots and other Scots.

282
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,421
Damn Scots!
They ruined Scotland!

283
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:48,632
You Scots sure are
a contentious people.

284
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,884
You just made
an enemy for life!

285
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,347
Listen, Mr. Hobo, you may not
have laundry to wash, but I do.

286
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,848
Now what do you
want to show me?

287
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:01,269
There's your husband,
aka Mooch-a-lini,

288
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:05,982
Drooly McGee, Corporal
Flashback, etcetera, etcetera.

289
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,734
Homer!

290
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,778
You're panhandling!

291
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:13,031
I should've known from
that panhandling sign,

292
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,742
plus that ticket
you got for panhandling.

293
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,994
But, Marge,
it was all for you,

294
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,038
to buy you all
the nice things you deserve.

295
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,917
The flowers, the earrings,
the Bob Seger boxed set,

296
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,212
which really only needed to be
one disk, but the box was nice!

297
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,089
Homer, I don't need
fancy things.

298
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,466
And even if I did, this is
the wrong way to get them.

299
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,140
And to remind you
of what you've done,

300
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:42,310
I'm gonna keep these earrings
and wear them at social occasions.

301
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,395
I don't understand.

302
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,440
Well, then maybe you need
to buy me a broach.

303
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,569
Bart, I cracked
the code of the pictograph.

304
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,404
It says there's
a curse on the mound.

305
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,239
Of course I don't
believe it...

306
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,365
Hi, Lisa.

307
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,451
I brought you the Cap
City version of Monopoly.

308
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,162
Baltic Avenue
is now Wayne Street.

309
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,747
It's awesome!

310
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:05,083
Milhouse, I thought your mom
took you away forever.

311
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,085
I got a court order
bringing him back.

312
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,337
The judge said I was
the most pathetic person

313
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,839
he'd ever seen in court.

314
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,966
Pity custody. Boo-yah!

315
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,636
Repo man.
I'm here to take your pants.

316
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,472
Not in front of my son.
Please!

317
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,223
You're somebody's father?

318
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,641
Yes, okay?

319
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,101
Oh, boy.

320
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,854
Well, I'm glad to be back.

321
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,565
Those Cap City kids
don't think I'm cool anymore.

322
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:31,902
We were having a sleepover
and a robber came and wet my bed.

323
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,321
Then he folded
the bed back into the couch

324
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,698
and disappeared
into the night.

325
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,451
I knew you'd blow it. Now
let me show you that mound.

326
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,453
You told him our secret?

327
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,663
Hey, he's my best friend.

328
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,832
Oh. I see how it is.

329
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,376
Great. Then we're all cool.

330
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,132
Since he's been back, Milhouse
has had three bloody noses

331
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,592
and stepped in dog doo.

332
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,011
It's always
a party with that guy.

333
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,972
Well, it's nice you have
your best friend back.

334
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,849
You should hang
with us sometime, Lise.

335
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:05,143
I think I'll go to bed now.

336
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,103
What's wrong?
Nothing.

337
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,815
Boy,
are you in trouble.

338
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,483
What are you talking about?

339
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,820
When a woman says nothing's
wrong, that means everything's wrong.

340
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,530
And when a woman says
everything's wrong,

341
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,907
that means
everything's wrong.

342
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,826
And when a woman says
something's not funny,

343
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,453
you'd better not
laugh your ass off.

344
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,960
Hey, Lise, you want to
play Cap City Monopoly?

345
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,670
Look, just because
Milhouse is gone,

346
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,797
doesn't mean you have
to pretend to be my friend.

347
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,758
Oh, come on.
I'll roll the dice for you.

348
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,594
Three, four, five, chance.
Pick up a card.

349
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:44,891
Sheesh.

350
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,188
What? Really?

351
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,065
Yep. Pick up another one.

352
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:53,441
But it's not my turn.

353
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,611
I'm trying to do something
nice, you dink. Pick up a card.

354
00:19:57,238 --> 00:20:01,032
"Bart will defend you when
other kids call you a nerd."

355
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,576
No one calls me a nerd.

356
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,161
Trust me, that is a valuable
card. Pick up another.

357
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:10,208
"Bart will give back the Malibu
Stacy head you thought was lost."

358
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:15,213
Oh, Bart,
that's really sweet.

359
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,578
Just because
I have Milhouse back

360
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,634
doesn't mean I haven't learned a
few things about being a brother.

361
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,846
I think I'm gonna use
this card right now.

362
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,764
Oh... Do I have to?

363
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,310
All right.

364
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:37,444
This is what sitcoms call
a "schmaltzy ending,"

365
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:41,740
a sentimental capper to leave
the audience feeling good.

366
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:46,369
Usually followed by a
little coda to cut the treacle.

367
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:49,915
Granny, I'm gonna shoot me
some Vietcong.

368
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,334
Yeah? Well, I ain't
cooking 'em.

369
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:58,506
And George Jefferson,
wherever you are,

370
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,760
we love you and want you
to come home.

371
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,303
Well, we're movin' on up.

372
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,638
Movin' on up.

373
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:05,972
To the east side.

374
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:07,057
Movin' on up.

375
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:12,145
To a deluxe apartment
in the sky.

376
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:13,813
Movin' on up.

377
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,106
Movin' on up.

378
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,441
To the east side.

379
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:18,151
Movin' on up.

380
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:21,905
We finally got
a piece of the pie.

381
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,284
Fish don't fry
in the kitchen.

382
00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,954
Beans don't burn
on the grill.

383
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,456
Took a whole Iotta tryin'

384
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,541
Just to get up that hill.

385
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,795
Now we're up
in the big leagues.

386
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:38,630
Gettin' our turn at bat.

387
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,800
As long as we live,
it's you and me, baby.

388
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,551
There ain't nothin'
wrong with that.

389
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,095
Well, we're movin on up.

390
00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,304
Movin' on up.

391
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:47,806
To the east side.

392
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,474
Movin' on up.

393
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,560
To a deluxe apartment
in the sky.

394
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,402
English - US - PSDH