1
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:06,339
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,452
Whoa-ho, Texas snowball fight!

3
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:42,459
Ow! Bart, that has nuts in it.

4
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:47,088
Hey, I thought your mother
told you to take a bath.

5
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,049
Yeah, Mom says a lot of things.

6
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,717
Aw, I understand kids.

7
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,887
I'm not a bath man myself...
More of a cologne man.

8
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,680
Actually, we can't take a bath anyway.

9
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,931
The water heater is broken.

10
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,141
Don't worry.

11
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,018
Daddy'll fix it.

12
00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,028
Out of my way! She's gonna blow.

13
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,328
What on earth?

14
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,830
Hi, sweetie. I'm off to Moe's. Love you.

15
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,585
To Marge...

16
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:27,337
and all the blissful years

17
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,799
I've spent hiding from her in this bar.

18
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,383
Hear, hear.

19
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,927
Yeah, big deal... you got a wife.

20
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,470
I got a rash. Who cares?

21
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,933
Uh, I'm sorry, Homer.

22
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,685
It's just... it's been
four years since my last date

23
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,604
with a whatcha-call-it, uh, woman.

24
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,940
Whatever happened
to your mail-order bride?

25
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,317
Oh, she got homesick for her old life...

26
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,487
Diving for tourist pennies
in a Micronesian swamp.

27
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,114
So, her career got in the way.

28
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,698
Yeah. I don't blame her.

29
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,910
No girl wants to end up
with a Joe Puke-Pail like me.

30
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,995
Now, now, I won't hear of it, Moe.

31
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,664
You're a fabulous catch.

32
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:03,747
Oh, yeah?

33
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,084
Well, uh, how come I ain't
fending off movie starlets

34
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:07,585
with a pointy stick?

35
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,255
Oh, it's probably due to your ugliness,

36
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,632
but that doesn't mean we
can't find you a woman.

37
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:13,716
Come on.

38
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,469
We're going to the darkest bar in town.

39
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:20,974
Ow, she's a brick... house.

40
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,810
She's mighty mighty.

41
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,812
Just lettin' it all hang out.

42
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:26,813
Oh, she's a brick...

43
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:27,814
Uh, I don't know, Homer.

44
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,107
Women can smell panic

45
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,442
and, uh, right now,
I got to be reeking of it.

46
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,819
Relax.

47
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,821
All I smell is garlic and fish.

48
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,200
House...

49
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,035
Uh, you look pretty clean.

50
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,121
You, uh, mind if I have this dance?

51
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,372
It's all yours.

52
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,250
Everything...

53
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,835
OK, I won't lie to you.

54
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,086
A lot of people saw that.

55
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,297
But you got to keep trying.

56
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,733
How can she lose
with the stuff she use...

57
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,757
So, hi there.

58
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,968
Uh, don't scream.

59
00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,428
Oh, hi.

60
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,263
Want to join me for a Bacardi and soda?

61
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,556
Yeah.

62
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:02,849
Yeah, that'd be great.

63
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:03,933
Or maybe you'd prefer

64
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,519
a cool refreshing Bacardi Colada...

65
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,854
Sure. Whatever.

66
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:10,273
Because Bacardi makes the night come alive

67
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,357
with freshness.

68
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,443
Uh, do you work for Bacardi?

69
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,612
No. I'm in love with you.

70
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,867
Hey, don't give up, Moe.

71
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,870
The girl of your dreams
has got to be in some bar.

72
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,415
Aw, there's nobody for Moe.

73
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:31,502
I'm just going to die
lonely and ugly and... dead.

74
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,379
Well, hello, Mary Sunshine.

75
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,590
Aw, cheer up.

76
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:36,966
Here, have a flower.

77
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,885
All right, come on, what's the catch?

78
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:42,055
A gorgeous woman don't
just hand you a free daffy-dil.

79
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,599
Really? You think I'm gorgeous?

80
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,726
Yeah, well, the part that's showing.

81
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,603
I guess you could have
a lot of weird scars

82
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,396
or a fake ass or something.

83
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,732
You don't talk to a lot of women, do you?

84
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,360
Well, no-no... Well, no, not a lot.

85
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,028
I... gee, I'm sorry.

86
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,781
I used to box, you know, and my brain's...

87
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,241
Well, it's kind of in and out.

88
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,617
Oh, that's awful,

89
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,952
and look at your little ears.

90
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,913
Yeah, there's extensive cauliflowering.

91
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,957
Well, your bow tie is just darling.

92
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,918
Oh, well, thanks.

93
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,171
Yeah, it kind of draws the eye
away from the old mug.

94
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,131
I like a face with character.

95
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,675
Let's get out of here, Moe.

96
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:19,926
This is going nowhere.

97
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,344
Yeah, I...

98
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:25,556
Look, I don't suppose
you'd ever want to, uh...

99
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,684
I don't know... get together sometime?

100
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,519
You mean, like a date?

101
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,688
Well, I don't know.

102
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:32,939
Oh, what was I thinking?

103
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,942
A-a beautiful girl like you
and a gargoyle like me.

104
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,944
- I-I'm sorry.
- Hold on, hold on.

105
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,280
- I didn't say "no" exactly.
- Really?

106
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,073
Hot damn! Don't eat nothing

107
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,242
for the next three days,
'cause I'm taking you out

108
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,619
for a steak the size of a toilet seat.

109
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,080
Well, when you put it that way...

110
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:50,581
My name's Renee.

111
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,334
Who cares? You're going out with me.

112
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:54,961
She's going out with me, cat!

113
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,671
Mm... Muah!

114
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:59,132
Stop kissin' that cat,
and get in the car!

115
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:04,137
I thought love was
only true in fairy tales.

116
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:09,976
Meant for someone else but not for me.

117
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:11,686
Then I saw her face.

118
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,190
Now I'm a believer.

119
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,985
Not a trace.

120
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,237
Of doubt in my mind.

121
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,781
I'm in love

122
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,993
Mmm... I'm a believer...

123
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:30,330
I couldn't leave her if I tried.

124
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,500
Hey, hey! Sabu!

125
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,712
Uh, I need another magnum of
your best champagne here, eh?

126
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,380
And bring us the finest food you got

127
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,007
stuffed with the second finest.

128
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,425
Excellent, sir...

129
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,011
Lobster stuffed with tacos.

130
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,351
So, Renee, it looks like you've taken

131
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,311
quite a shine to Moe.

132
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,229
Do you mind if I ask why?

133
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,814
Marge...

134
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,983
I didn't mean any disrespect.

135
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,985
I just can't figure it out.

136
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,946
Well, to be honest,
at first, it was just pity...

137
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,784
Yeah, it's like out
of a storybook, ain't it?

138
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,952
But he's really grown on me.

139
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,373
He's got this insecure, sweaty charm...

140
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,791
Oh, yeah, I got that.

141
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,542
And he's so thoughtful.

142
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,543
Last night, he bought

143
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:18,961
all the seats in a movie theater

144
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,381
just so we could have
a romantic evening together.

145
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,508
Yeah, well, I just get so tired

146
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,218
of idiots shooting their mouths off

147
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,427
laughing and clapping...

148
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,262
makes me want to start poking eyes out

149
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,931
and slashing guts and kicking throats.

150
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,349
- It's OK, Moe.
- I'm sorry.

151
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,351
It's just... I'm so happy I met you.

152
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:34,352
Uh, excuse me, sir.

153
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,853
Will there be anything else?

154
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,146
Uh, yeah.

155
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,233
Park the dessert cart under
this beautiful lady's nose

156
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,777
and charge it all to my Players Club card.

157
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,987
Ooh, Players Club.

158
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,447
Yes, sir!

159
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,074
Yeah, I want to send her

160
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,242
two dozen roses

161
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,045
and I want to put
something nice on the card

162
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,664
like, um... uh, "Renee, my treasure..."

163
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:57,959
Hey, shut up

164
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,752
or I'll ram a stool down your throat!

165
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,713
Uh, no, no-no,
I don't want that on the card.

166
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,715
Well, let me hear how it sounds.

167
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,677
Nah, nah, take it out. Take it out...

168
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,513
And charge it to my Players Club card.

169
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:11,848
Maxed out?

170
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,058
Look, I really need
these flowers, OK?

171
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:17,645
I got a real tenuous hold
on my girlfriend here...

172
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:19,647
Hello?

173
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:20,730
Hello?

174
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,027
Well, that's it. It's all over.

175
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,422
Renee ain't going to want to hang around

176
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,114
with no Joe Pinchpenny.

177
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:29,740
Aw, come on, Moe.

178
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,326
Think of all you have
to offer besides money.

179
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,913
I need cash and lots of it.

180
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,749
Um, all right, everybody,
I'm calling in your bar tabs.

181
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,963
You bunch of ungrateful ingrates!

182
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,424
You... Aw, Homer, what am I going to do?

183
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,051
Renee's my last chance for true love.

184
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,303
If you really need money,

185
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,347
you could sell a kidney
or maybe even your car.

186
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,809
Nah, my car ain't worth nothing...

187
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,897
But it is insured for five grand.

188
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,190
Homer, I need your help.

189
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,525
You got to steal this car
and wreck it for me.

190
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,526
Steal?

191
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,571
Oh, no, you got the wrong guy.

192
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,697
You dropped something.

193
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:12,074
Come on, Homer, I'm one
of your dearest friends.

194
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,201
When everybody said

195
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,827
you were too drunk to drive that time,

196
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,954
who gave you your keys?

197
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,417
Oh... You did, but I still don't know.

198
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,045
I can just imagine what Marge would say.

199
00:08:24,128 --> 00:08:27,048
Homer, I insist you steal that car.

200
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,466
I'll do it!

201
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,137
OK, here's the plan.

202
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:36,557
This model car represents my car, huh?

203
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,143
And this olive is you. Now...

204
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,645
Mmm... Me.

205
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,063
Hey, hey! Aw, that's great.

206
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:43,981
Now the car's going
to have to represent you

207
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:48,486
and this little toy man
will represent the car...

208
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,172
All right, forget it,
forget it. Listen up here.

209
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,197
Tomorrow night at 8:00,

210
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,492
you go down to the waterfront
and you "steal" my car.

211
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:55,575
What about the cops?

212
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,744
That's the beauty part.

213
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:58,067
Every cop in town's going to be

214
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,082
on the police department's
moonlight charity cruise.

215
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,601
And I'm gonna be right there with them.

216
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,628
So, as soon as you get back

217
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,338
we steal the car, right?

218
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,965
Ri... No, no, wrong.

219
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,009
Listen, while I'm on the boat
with the perfect alibi,

220
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:15,012
you steal my car and park
it on the railroad tracks.

221
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:18,849
Then when the 10:15 train
comes along... wham!

222
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,060
Insurance company pays off 5,000 clams,

223
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,020
I keep showing Renee the sweet life.

224
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,480
You're a genius, Moe.

225
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,649
All your troubles will soon be over

226
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,109
for a couple of months.

227
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,866
Why all the black?

228
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:36,950
Why all the pearls?

229
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,744
Why all the hair? Why anything?

230
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,496
You look a little nervous, Dad.

231
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,165
No, you look a little nervous, Lisa.

232
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,601
You're up to something, aren't you?

233
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,921
No. I'm just going out
to commit certain deeds.

234
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:50,965
Suckers...

235
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,220
Thank you. Welcome, folks.

236
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,681
Have fun. Drink responsibly...

237
00:09:58,764 --> 00:09:59,890
Till we're a mile out.

238
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,560
Uh, excuse me there, Officer.

239
00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,061
You see my car there?

240
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,896
With the rubber hippie daisy,

241
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,648
space 7-a?

242
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,108
Uh, yeah, what about it?

243
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,192
I was just thinking

244
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,737
what a good parking job I did with it.

245
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,904
Yeah, hey, that is nice.

246
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,366
Hey, Lou! Lou, check out
that park job in 7-a.

247
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,452
Whoo-hoo-hoo! That's sweet.

248
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,919
I'm going to be the best car thief ever.

249
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,254
Hey!

250
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,964
Oh, no you don't!

251
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:39,305
He thought he was
gonna steal-d'oh!

252
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:42,058
Stealing, stealing.

253
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,934
Stealing a car for Moe

254
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,936
Da-da-da-da, da-da, da-da.

255
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,563
Insurance fraud today...

256
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,858
They're showing Hail to the Chimp!

257
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,985
Oh, I have time to see one little movie.

258
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:56,864
Mr. President,

259
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,324
your welfare proposal.

260
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,743
Is nothing but a lot of technical jargon

261
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:01,952
and partisan rhetoric...

262
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,748
Get off me, Mr. President!

263
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:09,585
That's what you get
for not hailing to the chimp.

264
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,554
Moe, you seem awfully distracted tonight.

265
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,848
And you're sweating a lot, even for you.

266
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,849
Am I?

267
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,267
Huh, hadn't noticed.

268
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,731
Isn't it a beautiful moon tonight?

269
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,233
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

270
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,859
I'll look up with you in one minute.

271
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:35,945
The train.

272
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,863
Do you hear that?
That's the train.

273
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,949
Isn't that the most beautiful
sound you ever heard?

274
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,410
It's almost as sweet as your voice.

275
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:45,663
Muah.

276
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:54,880
Oh, no...

277
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,964
The train!

278
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:08,060
D'oh! I got to find
another way to wreck Moe's car.

279
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,858
Oh, honey, this whole
evening was so wonderful.

280
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,401
Except when that drunken cop

281
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,403
started firing at those seagulls.

282
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,864
Get him off!

283
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,866
Yeah, yeah, the plan went off
without a hitch.

284
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:22,949
What plan?

285
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,578
The what? The-the wonderful evening plan.

286
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,955
Hey, Moe.
Isn't that your car up there

287
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,915
with the rubber hippie daisy?

288
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,917
The one that was parked in 7-a?

289
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,004
Hey! Hey, what's it doing there?

290
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,214
It was supposed to be
on the railroad tracks.

291
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,675
No, I mean, the parking lot.

292
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,303
Homer, you moron.

293
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,430
Homer, you genius.

294
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,933
Geronimo!

295
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,638
Huh. Well, that car thief
can't hold his breath forever.

296
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:26,972
And if he can, chief?

297
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058
Then God help us all.

298
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:35,815
Isn't that your friend Homer?

299
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:39,193
Oh, oh! Homer!

300
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,987
Oh, how... could you?

301
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,698
You're under arrest,
Simpson, for grand theft auto.

302
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:45,908
Now put up your hands.

303
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,163
Brilliant! Brilliant!

304
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,998
OK, let's do another, but this time,

305
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,708
try to look scarier.

306
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,710
Kind of like...

307
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:59,004
- Grr.
- Gorgeous! Gorgeous, baby.

308
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089
That's it. That's it.

309
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,927
Your fingerprints
are just like snowflakes.

310
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,512
They're both very pretty.

311
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,139
Simpson! You have visitors.

312
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,519
Homer, did you really steal a car?

313
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,895
Whoa! Hang on a minute.

314
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,605
The guard said I had visitors coming.

315
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,816
Dad, we're the visitors.

316
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,652
Oh. Oh! Oh, great.

317
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,864
Listen, I know it looks bad,
but all I can tell you

318
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:28,200
is I destroyed that car
for all the right reasons.

319
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,786
I'd like to believe you...

320
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,079
That's my girl.

321
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,372
You just go home

322
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:36,166
and don't worry your
pretty blue head about it.

323
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,586
Moe will take care of everything.

324
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,730
Well, Dad, in the meantime,
here's a carton of smokes

325
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:41,922
you can use to buy stuff.

326
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,966
Aw, thanks, boy.

327
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,926
I'll give you two packs
for that candy bar.

328
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,928
Three. Why, you little...

329
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,847
Guard! Guard!

330
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,185
Psst! Homer. Homer, wake up.

331
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,897
Moe! Oh, Moe, thank God you're here.

332
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,899
Yeah, congratulations, Homer.

333
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,775
The plan worked perfectly.

334
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,152
But I'm in jail.

335
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,570
Yeah, yeah, that's a...

336
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,196
That's a kick in the pants.

337
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,908
Moe, you got to get me out of here.

338
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,910
Tell the cops I didn't steal the car.

339
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,202
Say you lent it to me.

340
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,746
Yeah, I wish I could, Homer.

341
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,164
But if I change my story,

342
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,665
they're gonna throw me in here.

343
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,002
But, Moe, we're best friends.

344
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,924
Oh, cripes, the puppy dog look.

345
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,259
All right, all right.

346
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,386
I'll use the money to bail you out.

347
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,387
Hurry, Moe.

348
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,557
At 3:00, they're going to
put us in the exercise yard.

349
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,143
The exercise yard!

350
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,562
Is everything OK, honey?

351
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,897
Your shirt is so dry.

352
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,732
Yeah, yeah, I'm OK.

353
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,317
There's just something I got to do.

354
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,694
Oh, look at that... Hawaii.

355
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,030
Oh, that looks so romantic.

356
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,785
Well, if Hawaii's what my baby wants,

357
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,329
Hawaii's what my baby gets.

358
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,665
Oh, no, that's too expensive.

359
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:58,958
Let's just get a can of poi

360
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,125
and eat it in the tub.

361
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,419
Nah, nah, nah, we're going
for the real thing.

362
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,712
First class all the way.

363
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,464
Come on, we can leave tonight.

364
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,227
Ten minutes till fresh air and exercise.

365
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,897
Hurry up, Moe.
For the love of God, hurry up!

366
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,899
Hawaii, here we come.

367
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,031
Hawaii?

368
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,908
What about Hawaii?

369
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,411
Moe? Who's going to Hawaii?

370
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,912
Am I going to Hawaii?

371
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,165
Stop saying "Hawaii" in there.

372
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,587
Let me out! I'm innocent!

373
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,172
I changed my mind!

374
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,842
I don't want to be in here anymore!

375
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:50,843
Forget it, Simpson.

376
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,094
You're going to the chair.

377
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,638
The interrogation chair.

378
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:56,890
Plug it in, boys.

379
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,394
Ukelele...

380
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:01,729
Pineapples...

381
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,480
Beach pistol...

382
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,816
Scandalously revealing thong.

383
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,235
Going somewhere?

384
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:09,570
Wha...?

385
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:12,906
Homer!

386
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,367
Moe...

387
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,871
You killed me.

388
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,998
Hey, no. No, y-you ain't dead.

389
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:22,791
Y-y-you're just in jail.

390
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,752
Oh, right.

391
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,295
Wait a second.

392
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,380
I'm in jail because of you.

393
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:32,718
You were my friend, and you betrayed me.

394
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,636
Oh, my God, he's right.

395
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,098
Oh, how could I treat a friend that way?

396
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,975
Exactly.

397
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:44,354
Exactly!

398
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,233
Hey, get your mouth off of that.

399
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,693
Were you yelling at me, Moe-Moe?

400
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,904
Huh? No. No, no, no.

401
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,572
It's just that, um...

402
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:58,160
Renee, there's something
I got to tell you.

403
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,243
Oh, no.

404
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,579
You're gay, aren't you?

405
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,373
Oh, boy, Renee, you sure can pick them.

406
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,792
Nah, it ain't that.

407
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:05,959
What, so you're married?

408
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,377
No, no.

409
00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:10,130
I... Hey, why did you say "gay" first?

410
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:18,722
Would you care for some reading material?

411
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,974
Hmm... This could be useful.

412
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,648
So, like a coward,

413
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,067
I let Homer take the rap
for the whole scam.

414
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,503
And now, the only way to clear him

415
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,153
is to turn myself in.

416
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,614
I-I don't know what to say.

417
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:36,697
I'm shocked.

418
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,827
I mean, you broke the law
and betrayed a friend.

419
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,620
Yeah, you're right.

420
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:42,972
You shouldn't be wasting your time

421
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,832
with a lowlife like me.

422
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,083
Oh, Moe, don't say that.

423
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,709
You made a mistake,

424
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,837
but at least you're trying
to set things straight.

425
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,046
Yeah, that's true.

426
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,173
That's true, baby. Hmm.

427
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,897
It'll be hell being locked away from you,

428
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,469
but I guess I got to take my medicine.

429
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,556
Unless...

430
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,600
Unless I send a letter
to the police clearing Homer.

431
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:04,601
Yeah?

432
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,104
Then we go to the graveyard
and steal two corpses.

433
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,105
Oh, my God.

434
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:10,774
We switch clothes with them
and leave them in the bar.

435
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,734
Then we pour some brandy around

436
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,486
like so...

437
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:15,863
Yeah, would you hand me my keys?

438
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,698
Uh, yeah. Here you go.

439
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:18,949
Then, we light a match.

440
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:21,869
And fwoof! We start a new life in Hawaii.

441
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:22,870
Good-bye, Moe.

442
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:23,871
Where you going, baby?

443
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,414
You going to find the corpses?

444
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,833
Yes, Moe, I'm going to find corpses.

445
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,588
Uh, well, you want me to come with?

446
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:33,671
Renee?

447
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,923
Dearest?

448
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,926
She ain't coming back.

449
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,975
Must kill Moe.

450
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,894
Whee!

451
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,771
Must kill Moe.

452
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,148
Whee!

453
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,443
You!

454
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,695
Homer, thank God.

455
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:57,778
You gotta help me here.

456
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:59,489
Oh, I'll help you.

457
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,782
Help you die!

458
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:03,660
All right, that's it.

459
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,412
You're going down, pal.

460
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,253
Oh, boy.

461
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,548
I really want to sleep.

462
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,926
I... also sleep.

463
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,135
Good night, Mommy.

464
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,475
Moe! Homer!

465
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,102
The booze!

466
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,958
Oh, Homer, I've been
the world's biggest rat.

467
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,292
Can you ever forgive me?

468
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:56,380
Oh, I could never stay mad at you, Moe.

469
00:20:56,463 --> 00:21:00,175
After all, you get me drunk.

470
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,514
Ah, my poor bar.

471
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,016
It's all gone.

472
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,977
Aw, Moe, Moe.

473
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:13,981
Moe, dry those beady little eyes.

474
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:18,110
Your buddy Homer'll get
you back on your feet.

475
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:21,822
Well, I ain't seen my baby
since I don't know when

476
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,407
I've been drinkin' bourbon, whiskey.

477
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,825
Moe, another beer down here.

478
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:25,951
Coming right up.

479
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:29,329
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose.

480
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,999
Need me a triple shot of that juice.

481
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,268
Hey, there's a balloon machine

482
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,209
in the bathroom.

483
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,544
Kids, from now on,

484
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,839
I don't want you touching
anything in our house.

485
00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:40,716
Dart!

486
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,302
- Woo-hoo!
- Yeah! Nice shot, Homer!

487
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:45,762
Yay!

488
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,850
One bourbon.

489
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,393
One scotch.

490
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,228
One beer.

491
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:45,822
Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services