1
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:06,256
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,573
Hello? Hello?

3
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:34,743
We're here for the field trip.

4
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,455
Sorry. Sorry.

5
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,914
Boy, it's getting
harder and harder

6
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:40,999
to make it here by 10:00.

7
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:45,795
We'll start the tour
in a second.

8
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,922
I've just got to check
the answering machine.

9
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,176
Oh, can't anybody in this town

10
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,802
take the law into
their own hands?

11
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,016
Gather around, kids.

12
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,726
We're about to enter
the museum...

13
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,019
Oh, man.

14
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,604
...of crime.

15
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,900
Now, what I am
about to show you next

16
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,860
may shock and educate you.

17
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,445
Hold on to your values

18
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,530
as we step through
the looking glass

19
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,949
into a hippie pot party.

20
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,243
While Johnny Welfare plays

21
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,579
acid rock on a stolen guitar,

22
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:22,207
his old lady has a better idea.

23
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,585
That's right.

24
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:28,088
She's got the munchies

25
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:31,007
for a California cheeseburger.

26
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,928
So the next time

27
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,906
you're walking on the beach
enjoying an hourglass

28
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,016
or making cheap
low-grade windshields,

29
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,937
think where we'd be
without sand.

30
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Sand, sand.

31
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,193
Sand.

32
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,196
Okay, that was the sand movie.

33
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:56,825
Now, it'll just take me a second
to set up our next movie.

34
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,494
Oh, Miss Hoover,
movies are a nice break,

35
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:02,455
but couldn't we be doing
something a little more challenging?

36
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,499
Probably.

37
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,216
The moon...

38
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,927
For several years,
she has fascinated many.

39
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:19,764
But will man ever walk
on her fertile surface?

40
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,475
Democratic hopeful
Adlai Stevenson says so.

41
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I have no objection
to man walking on the moon.

42
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,358
By 1964, experts say
man will have established

43
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:34,863
12 colonies on the moon...
Ideal for family vacations.

44
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,534
Once there, you'll weigh
only a small percentage

45
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,411
of what you weigh on earth.

46
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:46,082
Slow down, tubby.
You're not on the moon yet.

47
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,752
The moon belongs to America

48
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,964
and anxiously awaits
the arrival of our astro men.

49
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:55,675
Will you be among them?

50
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:02,765
Miss Hoover, the movie's over.

51
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,893
Where's Miss Hoover?

52
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,561
Hey, her car's gone.

53
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:09,147
Maybe she drove to the moon.

54
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,484
It's not my nature to complain,
but so far today,

55
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,570
we've had three movies,
two filmstrips,

56
00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,031
and an hour and a half
of magazine time.

57
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,783
I just don't feel challenged.

58
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,161
Of course, we can make things
more challenging, Lisa,

59
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,556
but then the stupider students
would be in here complaining,

60
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,749
furrowing their brows
in a vain attempt

61
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,709
to understand the situation.

62
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,213
We're now in
the Communications Room

63
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,256
or the Com Room.

64
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,383
Uh, this is a police radio...

65
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:41,804
The single most important piece
of equipment in the Com Room.

66
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,390
As you can see,
some of the boys like to put

67
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,100
their banana stickers
all over it.

68
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,353
There's Chiquita.
There's Del Monte.

69
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,104
There's a Banana Co.,

70
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,773
Gorilla's Choice.

71
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:54,651
Now, everyone follow me
to my chair,

72
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:58,321
where I just need to get
off my feet for a few minutes.

73
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,159
Ah... I won't be
getting up soon.

74
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,411
Testing.

75
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,291
Testing.

76
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,884
Hey.

77
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,609
Testing!

78
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:40,238
Testing, testing, testing...

79
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,367
Testing, testing...

80
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,507
You've really done it this
time, Bart!

81
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,302
You're in for the punishment
of a lifetime!

82
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,346
When do you expect
the ringing will stop?

83
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:08,224
In about ten to 15 seconds.

84
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,018
I certainly hope so!

85
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,478
Ooh! That's better.

86
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,316
Now, about your punishment,
young man.

87
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:19,152
I know. I'll go to my room
and think about what I did.

88
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:22,322
Oh, no. Your room
is full of toys.

89
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,157
You're going
to the, uh, garage.

90
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,367
You're the boss.

91
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,328
I tell you, Chief,

92
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,055
I just don't know what
we're going to do with him.

93
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,291
You know,
you do have options.

94
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,085
For example, there are
behavior-modifying drugs.

95
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,880
How wedded are you
to the Bart you know?

96
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:42,550
- Not very.
- No. No drugs.

97
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,886
Bart just needs
a little discipline.

98
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,637
Hey, what about military school?

99
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,222
It set my brother straight.

100
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,850
Now he owns and operates
a famous cave.

101
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,020
Hmm. You know,
maybe Chief Wiggum is right.

102
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:59,650
Military school is a good idea.

103
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:16,000
Wow! I can't believe
we're going to Disneyland.

104
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,668
Hey, where's all your luggage?

105
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:21,547
- Hurray!
- Oh, yeah!

106
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,384
You dream about this day
for so long.

107
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,594
Then when it comes, you
don't know what to say.

108
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:31,891
Edna, your tears say
more than words ever could.

109
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:34,268
Military school?

110
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,895
You lied to me.

111
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,399
Well, I'm sorry
if you heard Disneyland,

112
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,984
but I distinctly said
military school.

113
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,869
And that's how
we'll mold your boy

114
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:54,038
into a productive
member of society...

115
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,331
Through an intensive program

116
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,708
of push-ups
and formation marching.

117
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,669
Well, it certainly
was nice of you

118
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,255
to accept Bart in the
middle of the semester.

119
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,358
Fortunately, we've had
a couple of recent freak-outs.

120
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,759
So that freed up
a couple of bunks.

121
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,554
- Freak-outs?
- If that happens,

122
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,472
are we still charged
for the entire semester?

123
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,599
Our high standards
challenge students

124
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,435
to reach their full potential.

125
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,562
Look at how disciplined
they are.

126
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:20,022
They're just like the
terra-cotta warriors of Xian.

127
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,525
They sure are.

128
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,030
That's not
so disciplined.

129
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,466
They're just children,
Mr. Simpson.

130
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,325
Pww! I guess.

131
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,619
Truth is beauty,
beauty truth, sir!

132
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,872
They're discussing poetry.

133
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,249
Oh! We never do that
at my school.

134
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,668
But the truth can be
harsh and disturbing.

135
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,753
How can that be
considered beautiful?

136
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,715
Oh, they sure sucked
the fun out of that poem.

137
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,175
Please don't make me stay, Dad.

138
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,676
I'll do anything you say.

139
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,112
I'll find religion;
I'll be good, sometimes.

140
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,138
- Let go of my leg.
- No!

141
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:55,391
Son, for the last time you're
staying at military school.

142
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,475
And so am I.

143
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,689
This school has everything
I ever wanted.

144
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,608
Lisa, no!

145
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,568
This place is just
a jail for children.

146
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,320
No jail can hold me.

147
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,459
All right, let's go
over this one more time,

148
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,669
just to make sure
I understand the situation.

149
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,673
You're a girl?

150
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,884
- Yes.
- Oh, gosh darn it.

151
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,802
I just don't understand
the situation.

152
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,306
You're a girl.

153
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,892
All I want is a chance
to prove myself.

154
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:44,190
In our 185 years, we have
never had a female cadet.

155
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,691
Oh, but that seems
to be the way

156
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,735
the wind is blowing
these days.

157
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:51,614
After all,
we have female singers...

158
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,075
female motorists.

159
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,079
Welcome aboard.

160
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,581
Lisa, if you ever want
to quit and come home,

161
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,875
I'll be here in half a jif.

162
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,119
I want to quit and come home.

163
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,879
I want to quit and come home.

164
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,840
Oh, honey,
I heard you the first time.

165
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:23,271
Atten-hut!

166
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,440
Gentlemen, we now have
a girl cadet among our ranks,

167
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,193
so we're going to have
to make a few changes.

168
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:30,861
First of all, Franklin,

169
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,548
you are no longer
the girliest cadet here.

170
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,949
Well, we'll see about that.

171
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:37,285
Second, this is now
the girls' barracks.

172
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,787
So pack your things. You're
moving in with company "L."

173
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,123
Company "L"?
But they smell.

174
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:43,416
Yes, we've all
heard the chant.

175
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:44,959
Now, fall out!

176
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,419
Sorry. Sorry.

177
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,838
I know we'll be friends.

178
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,048
Talk about getting off
on the wrong foot.

179
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,970
I can't believe
they let a girl in.

180
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:59,098
Don't worry. We'll drive her
out of the academy.

181
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,809
That is why God created hazing.

182
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,446
What's the matter?

183
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,531
Don't girls like doing
push-ups in the mud?

184
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,991
Is there any answer
I can give

185
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,577
that won't result
in more push-ups?

186
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,539
No.

187
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:29,337
Hey, look,
it's the school motto.

188
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,880
"I'll die before
I surrender, Tim."

189
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,548
Who's Tim?

190
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,718
Apparently, Tim was somebody
who was with the general

191
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,762
moments before he was shot
in the head.

192
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,221
Cleaning graffiti
off a statue

193
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,141
makes a mockery
of everything I stand for.

194
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,744
I don't think I can
survive here, Lise.

195
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,353
That's how they want you
to feel.

196
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,812
But if you just hang
in there,

197
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,230
they'll eventually
accept you.

198
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,982
Get to work!

199
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,693
I want to see my face
in that horse's ass.

200
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,782
Okay, that's long enough.

201
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,116
Let's see how they're doing.

202
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,330
Had enough?

203
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,252
What's say you, men?

204
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,755
Has this lowly maggot
passed the test?

205
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:16,384
Congratulations, Bart.
You made it.

206
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,928
Hey, what about me?
I'm a lowly maggot.

207
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,436
Well, since you attended
public school,

208
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,355
I'm going to assume that

209
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,078
you're already proficient
with small arms.

210
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,650
So we'll start you off
with something

211
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:36,112
a little more advanced.

212
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,788
Four out of five, Simpson...
Impressive.

213
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,289
But you missed your last target.

214
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,499
Did I?

215
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,672
You're a born
soldier, Simpson.

216
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,549
Too bad it doesn't run
in your family.

217
00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:00,219
Uh, could someone help me?

218
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,304
It's stuck on "auto fire."

219
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:06,058
- Brad, you hear anything?!
- No!

220
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,231
Maybe you should
just learn to use this.

221
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,442
If there's a war,
just blow on it,

222
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,776
and I'll come
help you.

223
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,115
I am just calling home.

224
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,242
I am not asking to come home.

225
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,416
Marge! You got that?

226
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:32,334
Marge!

227
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,462
Hey, go on, boy.

228
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,463
Go get it.

229
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,546
Answer the phone.

230
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,925
There's got to
be something

231
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,677
on this thing
for that thing.

232
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,810
- Simpson.
- Hot diggity!

233
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,979
I don't care if it's bad news.

234
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,148
Oh, Grampa,
you're not busy, are you?

235
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:57,735
Well, you're really asking
two questions there.

236
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:00,488
The first one takes me
back to 1934.

237
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,531
Admiral Byrd had just
reached the pole

238
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,367
only hours ahead
of the three stooges.

239
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,369
And I guess
he won the argument,

240
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,497
but I walked away
with the turnips.

241
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,956
The following morning,

242
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,542
I resigned my commission
in the Coast Guard.

243
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,587
The next thing I heard,
there was civil war in Spain.

244
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:20,007
And that's everything
that happened in my life

245
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:22,718
right up to the time
I got this phone call.

246
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,471
Uh-huh. So, anything else
you wanna talk about?

247
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:29,350
Oh, I'm afraid I'd just be
repeating myself, honey.

248
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,187
Anyway, other people need
to use the phone.

249
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,862
I've already talked to her
for 20 damn minutes.

250
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:45,573
You're all right.

251
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,578
What is it?

252
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,539
Bart, I got a cassette
from Mom and Dad.

253
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,791
I thought we could listen
to it together.

254
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,459
Ah, gee, Lise,
I'd love to

255
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,878
but this really
isn't a good time.

256
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,880
- Bart, who you talking to?
- Uh...

257
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,508
Lisa. You're talking to Lisa.

258
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:03,843
I'm talking to...

259
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,053
No one.

260
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,309
All right, lights out!

261
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,062
Ow! Damn it!

262
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,689
Lights on. Lights on.

263
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,649
Lights out. Lights out.

264
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,530
And don't worry, sweetie.

265
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,616
It's very common
to be homesick

266
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,953
when you're so far away from
the people who love you.

267
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,956
Okay,
I'm not going to give up.

268
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,916
Solitude never hurt anyone.

269
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,793
Emily Dickinson lived alone,

270
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,629
and she wrote some
of the most beautiful poetry

271
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,549
the world has ever known...

272
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:46,343
Hmm... and went crazy
as a loon.

273
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:53,100
You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.

274
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:57,313
You make me happy
when skies are gray.

275
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:02,318
You'll never know, dear,
how much I love you.

276
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,488
So don't take
my sunshine away.

277
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,286
Sorry I froze you out, Lise.

278
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,246
I just didn't want
the guys to think

279
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,789
I'd gone soft
on the girl issue.

280
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,875
I'm tired of
being an issue, Bart.

281
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,502
Maybe everyone would be
better off if I just quit.

282
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,171
But if you quit,
it'd be like

283
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,757
an expert knot-tier quitting
a knot-tying contest

284
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,342
right in the middle
of tying a knot.

285
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,052
Why'd you say that?

286
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,137
I don't know.
I was looking at my shoelaces.

287
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,948
Look, the point is
you're going to make it, Lise,

288
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:32,890
and I'm gonna stick by you.

289
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,183
Don't do that.

290
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,018
Why should we both be outcasts?

291
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,187
Then I'll just stick
by you in secret

292
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,648
like a sock-maker secretly
working on a top secret sock...

293
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,274
Will you stop looking
at your feet?

294
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,985
Well, cadets,
it's been a great year.

295
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,321
You've all worked
very hard developing

296
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,573
academic skills
and general killing skills.

297
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,492
My killing teacher says
I'm a natural.

298
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:55,621
But these skills are nothing
without courage and stamina.

299
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,916
Traditionally, the academy
tested these virtues

300
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,751
by pitting you
against each other

301
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,836
in a two-day Battle Royale.

302
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,839
That was prior to 1957.

303
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,509
Thank you very much,
State Supreme Court.

304
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,428
Consequently now, no cadet
can receive a passing grade

305
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:15,307
for the academic year
without first conquering this.

306
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,267
Meet "The Eliminator."

307
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,770
That's a 150-foot
hand-over-hand crawl

308
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,107
across a 60-gauge hemp-jute line
with a blister factor of 12.

309
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:26,110
The rope is suspended
a full 40 feet

310
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,863
over a solid British acre of old-growth
Connecticut Valley thorn bushes.

311
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,242
Gentlemen,
welcome to Flavor Country.

312
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,994
This wasn't in the brochure.

313
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,583
Hey, Bart, come on over here.
There's plenty of room.

314
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:47,047
"Meet me at the Eliminator
after lights out.

315
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,757
"P.S...
The cadets are planning

316
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,801
to throw their meatballs
at you."

317
00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,811
That's it, Lise.
Now start crawling.

318
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:05,315
Oh, it's too hard.
My hand is slipping.

319
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,532
I can't do this, Bart.
I'm not strong enough.

320
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,951
I thought you came here
looking for a challenge.

321
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,788
Duh. A challenge I could do.

322
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,540
It was worth
sneaking into town.

323
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,417
That was some good corn.

324
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,797
Uh, hey, Simpson.
What are you doing out here?

325
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,884
- Nothing.
- Nothing? Doesn't look like nothing.

326
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,511
Oh, yeah?
Well... um...

327
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,096
What are you doing out here?

328
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,600
Uh... also nothing.

329
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,393
Well.

330
00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:42,603
Okay.

331
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,605
- Okay.
- Then carry on.

332
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:45,688
All right, we will.

333
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,319
That was close.

334
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,154
Bees.

335
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,906
Bees.

336
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:55,949
Bees? Aah!

337
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,120
Gentlemen,
I regret to inform you

338
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,581
that the State Supreme Court
has determined

339
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:05,084
that forcing cadets
to cross the eliminator

340
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,461
is a barbaric
and malicious practice.

341
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:10,964
- Yes!
- Hence, you will be the last class

342
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,591
to be subjected to it.

343
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,426
Anderson, you're up.

344
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,063
Son of a...

345
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,648
Jeez.

346
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,317
Good job, Simpson.

347
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,486
Although that's more cursing
than I like to hear

348
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,946
from a cadet in peace time.

349
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:37,032
Last up...

350
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,827
Simpson, Lisa.

351
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,429
Well, at least
they're talking to me.

352
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,702
If only I were in Springfield,

353
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:25,080
all my friends would be
cheering me on.

354
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,875
Oh, God, I'm delirious.

355
00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:35,340
Drop, drop, drop,

356
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,010
drop, drop, drop,
drop, drop, drop...

357
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,685
You can make it, Lisa.
I know you can.

358
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:48,187
Come on,
I know you can do it.

359
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,063
Just get your hands
back on the rope.

360
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,899
It's just a little further.

361
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,526
Come on, just a little bit more.
You're doing great.

362
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,112
That's it. Come on,
just a little bit more.

363
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,574
I know you can do it!
I believe in you!

364
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,498
Yes!

365
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,042
You thought I couldn't,

366
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,845
but I could, I did,
and I could do it again.

367
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,921
Let's do it again!

368
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,756
Lisa, it's over;
You made it.

369
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,257
You can put your arms down.

370
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,426
I can't. They're stuck.

371
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,428
We're going to make
your life a living hell

372
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,263
for the rest of the semester.

373
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,433
But graduation's in three hours.

374
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,477
Oh, we better go change.

375
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,854
The wars of the future

376
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,941
will not be fought
on a battlefield or at sea.

377
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:36,443
They will be fought in space...

378
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,321
Or possibly on top
of a very tall mountain.

379
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,074
In either case,
most of the actual fighting

380
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,617
will be done by small robots,

381
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,662
and as you go forth today,
remember always,

382
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:51,541
your duty is clear, to build
and maintain those robots.

383
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,586
Thank you.

384
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,048
Well, Bart...

385
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,677
Did you make sure
to return all the guns?

386
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,804
Sir, yes, sir.
Luckily I am now trained

387
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,723
in six additional forms
of unarmed combat, sir.

388
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:11,603
- Well, he's got more confidence.
- Uh, yeah.

389
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,648
I've always said the boy
could use more confidence.

390
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:17,985
Lisa, before you go,

391
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,320
I want to present you
with this.

392
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,739
A medal?

393
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:23,949
Thank you, sir.

394
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,454
"For satisfactory
completion

395
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,039
of the second grade."

396
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,916
Well, kids,

397
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,503
we're so proud of the way
you completed military school,

398
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:40,674
we thought this time, we'd
take you to Disneyland for real.

399
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,676
- Yay!
- Yay!

400
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,016
- Hey!
- Hey!

401
00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:46,615
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