1 00:00:37,924 --> 00:00:39,584 Dad, taking the family to opening night 2 00:00:39,646 --> 00:00:41,948 is the nicest thing you've ever done for us. 3 00:00:41,992 --> 00:00:43,554 Or will ever do. 4 00:00:43,912 --> 00:00:46,826 I can't wait to see this re-imagining 5 00:00:46,850 --> 00:00:50,788 of Itchy and Scratchy by avant-garde director Juliana Krellner. 6 00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:54,972 Hey, it says here the book was written by Tom Stoppard. 7 00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:57,147 This isn't a book, it's a play. 8 00:01:04,996 --> 00:01:05,738 Book. 9 00:01:13,186 --> 00:01:15,219 All hail the king of the cats. 10 00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:22,511 They're coming down the aisles. 11 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:24,842 What if they want to interact with me? 12 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,733 Looking through my purse, 13 00:01:26,813 --> 00:01:28,047 looking through my purse... 14 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,741 keep walking, monkey. 15 00:01:29,845 --> 00:01:31,641 Don't worry, mom, they all passed by. 16 00:01:40,346 --> 00:01:41,770 Itchy, Scratchy, Itchy, 17 00:01:41,807 --> 00:01:44,082 Itchy, Scratchy Itchy, Scratchy, 18 00:01:44,107 --> 00:01:49,943 Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy from the day you are born in the alley 19 00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:50,743 ...Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy 20 00:01:50,757 --> 00:01:55,161 to the day you are hit by a car 21 00:01:55,197 --> 00:01:59,203 Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy there's cream to drink 22 00:01:59,225 --> 00:02:07,001 and mice to eat and great big balls of yarn 23 00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,980 Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy it's the circle 24 00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:14,550 Itchy, Itchy, Scratchy the circle of... 25 00:02:14,587 --> 00:02:15,450 knife! 26 00:02:20,815 --> 00:02:23,762 I love the use of streamers as blood. 27 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,823 It robs the violence of its power. 28 00:02:25,876 --> 00:02:27,812 I'm drenched in blood! 29 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:41,222 I don't know why I trust him 30 00:02:42,218 --> 00:02:46,900 I guess some cats just never learn 31 00:02:47,816 --> 00:02:53,842 I feel so good when I have crushed him 32 00:02:54,085 --> 00:02:58,383 or left him mangled, maimed and burned 33 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,951 I suppose it's symbiotic 34 00:03:02,006 --> 00:03:04,973 and perhaps a bit erotic 35 00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:07,850 'cause painis my narcotic 36 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,500 You really liked it? 37 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,291 Yes, I loved it. 38 00:03:11,336 --> 00:03:15,781 And that's why we're always... 39 00:03:17,095 --> 00:03:19,251 fighting and biting 40 00:03:19,318 --> 00:03:22,333 and dynamite igniting 41 00:03:28,978 --> 00:03:30,353 Hey, check it out! 42 00:03:30,397 --> 00:03:32,933 I'm scratcher or something! 43 00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:41,832 It's the circle the circle of knife 44 00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:47,983 yes, the circle... 45 00:03:51,155 --> 00:03:57,551 the circle of knifes. 46 00:03:59,598 --> 00:04:00,422 Bravo! 47 00:04:00,728 --> 00:04:01,481 Genius! 48 00:04:01,926 --> 00:04:03,102 Necessary! 49 00:04:04,657 --> 00:04:08,133 I insist on seeing the director. 50 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,290 Thank you, thank you. 51 00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:18,110 It's such a thrill for me to be backin my hometown, Springfield. 52 00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:21,381 She also graduated from Springfield elementary. 53 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:23,132 Principal skinner! 54 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,493 You know, Juliana, it's no surprise you became such a success. 55 00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:29,722 You always got straight A's in school. 56 00:04:29,775 --> 00:04:32,661 Well, I remember gettinga "b" or two in math. 57 00:04:33,637 --> 00:04:35,023 Well, of course you did. 58 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,240 You are a girl. 59 00:04:37,597 --> 00:04:38,403 No. All... 60 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,382 All I meant was, from what I've seen, 61 00:04:40,438 --> 00:04:44,642 boys are better at math, science, the real subjects. 62 00:04:44,745 --> 00:04:46,702 There, that should put the matter behind us. 63 00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:50,393 Calm down, calm down. 64 00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:52,083 I'm sure principal Skinner didn't mean 65 00:04:52,197 --> 00:04:53,911 girls are inherently inferior. 66 00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:54,973 No, 'course not. 67 00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:57,152 I don't know why girls are worse. 68 00:04:57,175 --> 00:04:59,071 One thing we can all agree on, though, 69 00:04:59,108 --> 00:05:01,542 this little lady surelooks pretty tonight. 70 00:05:01,597 --> 00:05:02,433 Am I right? 71 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,693 Two, four, six, eight! 72 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,722 Stop the man from teaching hate! 73 00:05:14,926 --> 00:05:17,130 Eight, six, four, two! 74 00:05:17,156 --> 00:05:19,213 We do math as good as you! 75 00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:20,343 One, two... 76 00:05:20,647 --> 00:05:21,873 Skinner! 77 00:05:21,976 --> 00:05:23,742 You've got to deal with these kooks. 78 00:05:23,836 --> 00:05:25,460 Don't worry, I have a plan: 79 00:05:25,678 --> 00:05:27,600 Pretend I agree with them. 80 00:05:27,606 --> 00:05:28,562 Well, you'd better hurry. 81 00:05:28,606 --> 00:05:30,140 Look what they've done to your car. 82 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:31,941 No, that's how it always looks. 83 00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:33,331 How sad. 84 00:05:37,635 --> 00:05:39,962 Today, we celebrate the first of many, 85 00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:42,983 many, many, many diversity forums. 86 00:05:43,306 --> 00:05:47,402 Why is it that women "appear" to be worse at math than men? 87 00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:49,662 What is the source of this "illusion," 88 00:05:49,715 --> 00:05:52,620 or as I call it, the biggest lie ever told? 89 00:05:52,857 --> 00:05:54,703 You're a worse version of Hitler! 90 00:05:54,718 --> 00:05:58,842 Please believe me, I... I understand the problems of women. 91 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:00,002 See?! 92 00:06:00,696 --> 00:06:02,872 The principal's a tranny. 93 00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:05,880 Am I wearing women's clothes? 94 00:06:05,985 --> 00:06:07,183 I didn't notice. 95 00:06:07,265 --> 00:06:12,191 When I look in my closet, I don't see male clothes or female clothes. 96 00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,721 They're all the same. 97 00:06:13,825 --> 00:06:16,111 Are you saying that men and women are identical? 98 00:06:16,135 --> 00:06:17,431 Oh, no, of course not! 99 00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:19,391 Women are unique in every way. 100 00:06:19,485 --> 00:06:21,793 Now he's saying women and men aren't equal. 101 00:06:22,075 --> 00:06:23,291 No, no, no. 102 00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:27,002 It's the differences, of which there are none, 103 00:06:27,006 --> 00:06:29,941 that make the sameness exceptional. 104 00:06:29,987 --> 00:06:31,613 Just tell me what to say. 105 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:35,471 Dear. 106 00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:36,942 Attention, students. 107 00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:40,751 Due to nervous exhaustion and diarrhea of the mouth... 108 00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,980 Yes, yes, yes, I said "diarrhea." 109 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:46,442 Principal Skinneris going to be replaced 110 00:06:46,526 --> 00:06:49,852 by women's educational expert Melanie upfoot. 111 00:06:49,878 --> 00:06:52,680 Children, meet your new principal. 112 00:06:55,318 --> 00:07:00,652 For too long, there's been an anti-woman bias in math. 113 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:04,373 Boys are aggressive, obnoxious, and never let us be heard. 114 00:07:04,627 --> 00:07:07,421 From now on, I am splittingthe school in two, 115 00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:10,501 separating the boys and the girls forever. 116 00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:12,703 You heard your principal. 117 00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:15,141 Girls on the left, boys on the right. 118 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,340 This rocks! 119 00:07:20,538 --> 00:07:23,403 No more stupid girl classes, like ballroom dancing. 120 00:07:23,506 --> 00:07:26,490 No, that's still mandatory for everybody. 121 00:07:26,668 --> 00:07:27,320 Willie? 122 00:07:30,678 --> 00:07:33,950 Now, this is why I got into education. 123 00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,661 They're going to divide the school in two? 124 00:07:42,757 --> 00:07:44,733 Yeah, one for boys and one for girls. 125 00:07:45,036 --> 00:07:46,730 It is going to be awesome! 126 00:07:46,886 --> 00:07:50,103 Now I can walk down the hall with "Bart junior" hanging out. 127 00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,493 Isn't that right, Bart junior? 128 00:07:54,566 --> 00:07:57,570 All this hoo-haw about girls and math is silly. 129 00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,683 Women are as smart as men. 130 00:08:00,217 --> 00:08:02,672 Why, a woman invented liquid paper. 131 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,791 Well, do you know what a man invented? 132 00:08:04,848 --> 00:08:06,552 Actual paper. 133 00:08:06,608 --> 00:08:09,002 Well, a woman also invented the windshield wiper. 134 00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:12,730 Which goes great with another male invention: the car. 135 00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:17,443 I think a woman came up with nylon stockings. 136 00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:18,863 I mean, probably. 137 00:08:18,917 --> 00:08:20,180 We certainly use them. 138 00:08:20,315 --> 00:08:22,491 Let's see, men also have rocket ships, 139 00:08:22,556 --> 00:08:25,132 suspension bridges, constitutional government, 140 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,362 snow shoes, brass knuckles... 141 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,941 pinball machines, the renaissance... 142 00:08:31,425 --> 00:08:34,321 Why did women invent sleeping on the couch? 143 00:08:39,955 --> 00:08:40,811 Girls' entrance. 144 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:44,622 Have an empowering day, my pony-loving leaders of tomorrow. 145 00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:52,433 All right, I'm going to open this cage, but no biting! 146 00:08:52,513 --> 00:08:54,187 You're not the boss of my teeth! 147 00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:02,483 It's so beautiful! 148 00:09:05,858 --> 00:09:07,873 Paintingsby female artists! 149 00:09:08,188 --> 00:09:10,930 Frida Kahlo, Georgia O'Keefe... 150 00:09:12,245 --> 00:09:13,830 Cathy Guisewite! 151 00:09:16,278 --> 00:09:20,890 Now that the boys and their atmosphere of intimidation are gone, we can 152 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:21,952 finally breathe. 153 00:09:22,165 --> 00:09:23,520 Breathe, ladies. 154 00:09:26,946 --> 00:09:28,603 Now, let's buckle down and do some math. 155 00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:29,430 Yes! 156 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,203 How do numbers make you feel? 157 00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,203 What does a plus sign smell like? 158 00:09:37,548 --> 00:09:40,523 Is the number seven odd...or just different? 159 00:09:41,975 --> 00:09:44,870 Are we going to do any actual math problems? 160 00:09:45,026 --> 00:09:45,722 "Problems"? 161 00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:51,151 That's how men see math, something to be attacked, to be "figured out." 162 00:09:51,246 --> 00:09:52,492 But... isn't it? 163 00:09:52,706 --> 00:09:56,100 I mean, confidence building can't replace real learning. 164 00:09:57,748 --> 00:10:01,890 Sounds like you're trying to derail our "self-esteem engine." 165 00:10:02,056 --> 00:10:03,881 Let's sing it back on the tracks! 166 00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:10,373 The best thing I can ever be is to be okay with me. 167 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,661 Me! 168 00:10:22,825 --> 00:10:25,993 Okay, boys' school, I need a challenge. 169 00:10:29,555 --> 00:10:31,370 A mental challenge. 170 00:10:44,536 --> 00:10:48,272 Now, boys, who can tell me the volume of this snowman? 171 00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:48,803 Anyone? 172 00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:51,200 Just add the volume of the spheres. 173 00:10:51,426 --> 00:10:53,350 We know the radii. 174 00:10:53,556 --> 00:10:55,790 He forgot the volume of the carrot nose, 175 00:10:56,117 --> 00:10:57,950 one-third base times height. 176 00:10:58,056 --> 00:11:00,463 Math, I have missed you! 177 00:11:00,597 --> 00:11:02,783 No girls allowed! 178 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,023 Principal skinner? 179 00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:05,801 It's groundskeeper Skinner now. 180 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,551 Assistant groundskeeper, you puke! 181 00:11:08,706 --> 00:11:11,460 Assistant groundskeeper Skinner, don't you think it's wrong 182 00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,513 that I can't get the best math education because I'm a girl? 183 00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:17,252 I don't have any opinions anymore. 184 00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:19,330 All I know is that no one is better than anyone else, 185 00:11:19,436 --> 00:11:20,800 And everyone is the best at everything. 186 00:11:20,995 --> 00:11:22,872 Not you. You're the worst! 187 00:11:22,955 --> 00:11:25,082 Now get poisonin' those squirrels. 188 00:11:32,408 --> 00:11:33,633 Please, be reasonable. 189 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:35,390 I-I-I-I'm sure we can... 190 00:11:37,426 --> 00:11:39,330 Mom, the girls' school is a joke, 191 00:11:39,386 --> 00:11:41,692 and I'm not allowed to take the boys' math. 192 00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:46,090 When I was in school, I loved math, until... 193 00:11:48,888 --> 00:11:50,641 Hey, professor Von hubba-hubba! 194 00:11:50,806 --> 00:11:53,301 Want to hop in my dune bug and erode some beach? 195 00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:57,892 I'd love to, but I've got my calculus final tomorrow. 196 00:11:58,028 --> 00:11:59,030 Come on, baby. 197 00:11:59,148 --> 00:12:02,222 The only math you need is you plus me equals forever. 198 00:12:02,518 --> 00:12:04,300 Oh, Homey! 199 00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:10,452 Since then, I haven't been able to do any of the calculus 200 00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,722 I've encountered in my daily life, 201 00:12:12,808 --> 00:12:15,090 but that's not going to happen to you. 202 00:12:15,145 --> 00:12:16,311 Well, what can I do? 203 00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:18,301 They won't let me in the boys' school. 204 00:12:18,527 --> 00:12:19,431 Yes... 205 00:12:19,565 --> 00:12:21,202 unless... 206 00:12:25,008 --> 00:12:28,252 there. You're the perfect little he-she. 207 00:12:29,338 --> 00:12:31,690 Mom, I don't think this will fool anybody. 208 00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:34,020 Hey, who's the rude dude with the attitude? 209 00:12:34,266 --> 00:12:35,720 He's one of Bart's friends. 210 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:37,283 You seem cool. 211 00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:38,271 Want to catcha movie? 212 00:12:38,395 --> 00:12:40,712 You never take our kids to the movies. 213 00:12:40,856 --> 00:12:44,002 Let's not fight in front of my cool new friend. 214 00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:00,720 What are you playing? 215 00:13:00,816 --> 00:13:01,952 Punch for a punch. 216 00:13:03,746 --> 00:13:04,972 So, what's your name, newbie? 217 00:13:05,198 --> 00:13:06,832 I'm... Jake. 218 00:13:07,106 --> 00:13:08,712 That's your christian name. 219 00:13:08,818 --> 00:13:09,950 What's your surname? 220 00:13:10,767 --> 00:13:13,500 Y...man. 221 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,772 Jake Boyman. 222 00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:16,361 You have Toilet paperon your shoe. 223 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:19,973 yeah, I guess I do. 224 00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:21,343 I'm going to call you "Toilet." 225 00:13:21,477 --> 00:13:24,251 My name isn't Toilet. It's Jake. 226 00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:26,380 Hey, a talking toilet! 227 00:13:28,097 --> 00:13:30,161 Toilet! Toilet! 228 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:31,680 Class, settle down. 229 00:13:31,748 --> 00:13:33,152 We have a new student today. 230 00:13:33,886 --> 00:13:35,430 His name is Jake Boyman. 231 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:38,471 He likes the hardy boys, boy scouts, 232 00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:42,340 boy bands, chef Boyardee, and he is a boy. 233 00:13:44,818 --> 00:13:45,872 What are you drawing? 234 00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:51,343 A robot with guns for arms shooting a plane made out of guns that fires guns. 235 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,302 Everyone take out your math books, come on. 236 00:13:57,468 --> 00:14:00,152 Now, how many different numbers can "Y" be? 237 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,972 That's easy, just one, the number five. 238 00:14:03,117 --> 00:14:03,603 Wrong. 239 00:14:04,555 --> 00:14:06,632 There are two possible solutions; 240 00:14:06,807 --> 00:14:08,673 five and negative five. 241 00:14:10,526 --> 00:14:12,561 Oh, my god, I was wrong! 242 00:14:12,666 --> 00:14:14,891 And by being corrected, I learned! 243 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:17,891 And no one cared about my feelings! 244 00:14:18,905 --> 00:14:21,322 I drew a picture of you, being shot by a gun. 245 00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:33,741 Hey, Toilet. 246 00:14:34,757 --> 00:14:36,062 Just kidding, bro. 247 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:38,293 They used to razz me when I was new here. 248 00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:39,723 It'll pass. 249 00:14:39,806 --> 00:14:41,211 Hey, Mildew. 250 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:42,702 Do you like tongue twisters? 251 00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:43,930 Boy, do I! 252 00:14:45,008 --> 00:14:45,870 I'm sorry. 253 00:14:45,938 --> 00:14:47,073 Do you want a jawbreaker? 254 00:14:47,165 --> 00:14:48,271 Boy, do I! 255 00:14:50,186 --> 00:14:52,220 So do you miss having the girls around? 256 00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:53,033 Nah. 257 00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:55,193 Girls never really got me. 258 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,780 Did you know Lisa Simpson? 259 00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:58,573 I heard she was pretty cool. 260 00:14:58,597 --> 00:14:59,381 Lisa? 261 00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:03,750 Yeah, we totally had a thing, but I had to break it off. 262 00:15:03,856 --> 00:15:06,151 What the hell are you talking about?! 263 00:15:06,177 --> 00:15:07,463 She got too clingy. 264 00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:09,870 Milhouse doesn't do clingy. 265 00:15:10,016 --> 00:15:10,803 I have to go. 266 00:15:13,676 --> 00:15:15,482 That was my eating food! 267 00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:20,821 Fight! Fight! Fight! 268 00:15:20,976 --> 00:15:23,510 Okay, I can talk my way out of this. 269 00:15:23,766 --> 00:15:26,173 Nelson, you're not really angry at me. 270 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:29,063 You're full of rage 'cause your father abandoned you. 271 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:33,833 And because you're poor, so you don't feel like you're good enough. 272 00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,700 You just want somebody to say "I love you." 273 00:15:37,486 --> 00:15:38,301 I love you. 274 00:15:39,845 --> 00:15:42,532 I love you, too, Nelson. 275 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,723 I love you, Jimbo. 276 00:15:44,725 --> 00:15:46,983 Hey, every joke has a kernel of truth! 277 00:15:57,035 --> 00:15:58,231 Hey, Lis, you missed it. 278 00:15:58,408 --> 00:16:00,092 While you were at girls' school, 279 00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:02,462 Nelson totally whaledon this dork. 280 00:16:07,998 --> 00:16:10,602 oh, my god. 281 00:16:10,967 --> 00:16:12,021 That's right. 282 00:16:12,807 --> 00:16:14,172 I'm Toilet. 283 00:16:15,905 --> 00:16:16,413 Toilet. 284 00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:20,213 Not yet. 285 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:23,902 If I do, she'll never let me go to the boys' math class again. 286 00:16:25,475 --> 00:16:28,210 Hey, no one with a choice should ever have to be a girl. 287 00:16:28,328 --> 00:16:29,983 I'll teach you how to be a boy. 288 00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:31,710 You'd do that for me? 289 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,360 That is so sweet. 290 00:16:33,477 --> 00:16:35,321 You're a boy, nothing is sweet. 291 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,373 That hurt. 292 00:16:37,505 --> 00:16:38,093 Sweet. 293 00:16:38,986 --> 00:16:40,353 Now, when you eat like a boy, 294 00:16:40,356 --> 00:16:42,923 only two french fries in five should make it into your mouth. 295 00:16:45,716 --> 00:16:48,011 If they fall on the floor, you want 'em more. 296 00:16:48,185 --> 00:16:49,832 Because then they come with extra toppings. 297 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:54,940 I'm gonna be sick. 298 00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:58,273 Awesome! Do it in that guy's bag while he's not looking. 299 00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:02,161 I am looking, and don't start apuke war that you cannot finish. 300 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:02,982 Good night. 301 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:07,393 So, do you want to wang chung tonight? 302 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,390 I don't know. 303 00:17:08,585 --> 00:17:10,120 Still frowny with you. 304 00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:12,992 Do you really think women are mentally inferior? 305 00:17:13,397 --> 00:17:17,572 Well, honey, you're just as smart as a man. 306 00:17:17,848 --> 00:17:19,052 Sometimes when I'm with you, 307 00:17:19,057 --> 00:17:21,370 I feel like I'm doing it with a dude. 308 00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,383 Well, I won't be lonely. 309 00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:27,381 I can always cuddle with the dog. 310 00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:30,930 At least everyone knows I'm smarter than you. 311 00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:33,932 Ho, how did this happen? 312 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:39,062 Now I've been every ball on the playground! 313 00:17:42,945 --> 00:17:44,103 Now, for your final test. 314 00:17:44,347 --> 00:17:48,963 To fully become a man, you must pick a fight with someone weaker than you. 315 00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:50,061 A fight? 316 00:17:50,338 --> 00:17:53,583 That would mean rejecting the last part of me that's still a girl. 317 00:17:54,138 --> 00:17:55,150 Do it, Lisa! 318 00:17:55,297 --> 00:17:58,573 You'll be greater than or equal to boys. 319 00:17:58,736 --> 00:18:04,312 Even though you're only eight, your possibilities are infinite. 320 00:18:05,095 --> 00:18:06,082 27! 321 00:18:06,297 --> 00:18:07,451 Okay, I'll do it. 322 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,060 But whom should I beat up? 323 00:18:09,995 --> 00:18:11,460 These dots are Itchy. 324 00:18:12,868 --> 00:18:14,500 Fine, I'll beat up Ralph. 325 00:18:16,535 --> 00:18:17,693 Give me your lunch money. 326 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:18,871 Okay! 327 00:18:22,175 --> 00:18:24,470 I guess I'm gonna have to get this party started. 328 00:18:26,228 --> 00:18:27,783 Fight! Fight! Fight! 329 00:18:29,755 --> 00:18:30,853 Forgive me for this. 330 00:18:31,036 --> 00:18:31,602 Okay! 331 00:18:37,225 --> 00:18:40,451 You just beat up the most harmless kid in school. 332 00:18:40,668 --> 00:18:42,183 Well done! 333 00:18:44,888 --> 00:18:46,812 Hey, Toilet, want to play guns? 334 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:47,760 Sure! 335 00:18:55,278 --> 00:18:57,281 I know what boys like 336 00:18:57,575 --> 00:18:59,453 I know what guys want 337 00:18:59,878 --> 00:19:01,792 I know what boys like 338 00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:07,543 I know what's on their minds sucker 339 00:19:09,146 --> 00:19:13,951 And the award for outstanding achievement in the field of mathematics goes to... 340 00:19:14,217 --> 00:19:15,520 Jake Boyman! 341 00:19:15,945 --> 00:19:19,101 Toilet! Toilet! Toilet! 342 00:19:21,556 --> 00:19:22,250 Thank you. 343 00:19:22,526 --> 00:19:24,473 Or should I say thank you! 344 00:19:26,035 --> 00:19:27,781 Toilet is Lisa?! 345 00:19:27,996 --> 00:19:29,260 We've been Yentl'd! 346 00:19:29,365 --> 00:19:30,442 That's right, everyone. 347 00:19:30,557 --> 00:19:33,881 The best math student in the whole school is a girl! 348 00:19:33,935 --> 00:19:34,811 Wait a minute! 349 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,280 Do you know why you did good at math? 350 00:19:37,518 --> 00:19:38,151 Did well. 351 00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:39,633 Give it a rest, Melanie. 352 00:19:39,848 --> 00:19:42,123 Calling me by my first name is harassment. 353 00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:44,653 Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. 354 00:19:47,736 --> 00:19:49,361 Superintendent. 355 00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:53,711 The only reason Lisa won is because she learned to think like a boy! 356 00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:57,630 I turned her into a burping, farting, bullying, math machine! 357 00:19:57,686 --> 00:19:58,733 That's a lie! 358 00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:04,183 I got hit by boy Lisa and girl Lisa. 359 00:20:06,928 --> 00:20:08,062 what have I become? 360 00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:10,871 I always thought that boys had it easier. 361 00:20:11,047 --> 00:20:15,491 But now I see their world is more cruel and sadistic than I ever imagined. 362 00:20:18,055 --> 00:20:19,102 Chair fight! 363 00:20:23,075 --> 00:20:25,630 And I did get better at math, but it was only 364 00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:27,973 by abandoning everything I believed in. 365 00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:31,771 I guess the real reason we don't see many women in math and science is... 366 00:20:31,778 --> 00:20:33,180 would you hurry it up, please?! 367 00:20:33,187 --> 00:20:35,762 You're cutting into the award for best flautist! 368 00:20:36,057 --> 00:20:37,910 Well, whatever the answer is, 369 00:20:38,215 --> 00:20:41,843 I'm glad I'm a girl, and I'm glad I'm good at math. 370 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:44,163 Now enjoy your stupid flautist. 371 00:20:48,268 --> 00:20:53,180 And the sandcastle virtues are all swept away 372 00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:58,100 in the tidal destruction the moral melee 373 00:20:59,378 --> 00:21:04,100 transcript: scarfo synchro: Ale, Marcel & Toki 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net