1
00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:08,465
(band playing
"Mary Had a Little Lamb")
2
00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:15,180
♪ Mary's rolling in her grave ♪
3
00:00:15,332 --> 00:00:17,683
♪ I'd like to join her now. ♪
4
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:19,167
(door opens)
5
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,353
I come bearing
an important communiqué.
6
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,838
It's from the marching band
director at Springfield High.
7
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:27,008
Oh, did he get his swollen head
stuck in a French horn?
8
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,102
Uh, there's no mention of that.
9
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,605
But it seems one of the band's
most important musicians
10
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,941
injured his middle toe doing
a high step in double-time.
11
00:00:35,094 --> 00:00:38,111
-(all gasp)
-That's footwork suicide!
12
00:00:38,264 --> 00:00:39,705
They need
a replacement sax player,
13
00:00:39,932 --> 00:00:42,041
and they've requested...
Lisa Simpson.
14
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:44,618
Me, in the high school band?
15
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:47,379
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
16
00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:50,440
One yes would suffice.
Pack your sax, Lisa,
17
00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:52,367
you're moving up to high school.
18
00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:53,944
Three days a week after school,
19
00:00:53,962 --> 00:00:55,596
otherwise you're still
in second grade.
20
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,059
I finally get
to play with people
21
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:03,044
who respect music theory
and tradition.
22
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,587
Teenagers!
23
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,308
Class, we have
a new baritone sax player.
24
00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:10,218
Direct from
Springfield Elementary.
25
00:01:10,312 --> 00:01:11,812
(coughing):
Largo's losers.
26
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,647
Hi. Hello.
27
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,132
Now, if you'll turn to page 12
28
00:01:15,225 --> 00:01:17,058
in your marching band songbook.
29
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,745
The theme to Hawaii Five-O?!
Wow!
30
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:22,472
Yeah, Mr. Orlando is cool.
31
00:01:22,491 --> 00:01:25,575
We do 50-year-old songs
instead of 100-year-old songs.
32
00:01:26,812 --> 00:01:29,338
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
33
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:36,261
Shauna Chalmers,
thank you for joining us.
34
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,322
I'm gonna call you James Corden,
35
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,415
because you're
a late, late show.
36
00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:42,101
(laughter)
37
00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,419
He totally relates to us
on our level.
38
00:01:44,513 --> 00:01:45,512
Mm.
39
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,439
-Burnout.
-Waste case.
40
00:01:47,591 --> 00:01:48,923
Third-chair slacker.
41
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,925
Shut up, woodwinds.
42
00:01:51,019 --> 00:01:52,260
Okay, from the top.
43
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,155
(band playing
Hawaii Five-O theme song)
44
00:01:58,527 --> 00:01:59,843
Okay, cut.
45
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,954
Apparently Supertramp
isn't giving us the rights
46
00:02:02,105 --> 00:02:03,938
to "Goodbye Stranger."
47
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,773
(students protesting)
48
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,377
No...
49
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:12,464
Shauna! I didn't know
you played drums.
50
00:02:12,616 --> 00:02:16,209
And I didn't know some tiny band
dork was gonna talk to me.
51
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,453
It's me, Lisa Simpson?
52
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,030
You babysat for us.
53
00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:21,698
Last Saturday night.
54
00:02:21,867 --> 00:02:23,124
TikTok is dumb.
55
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,960
Well, anyway,
your drumming's really good.
56
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:27,371
Wow.
57
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,149
Dear diary,
today I got a compliment
58
00:02:30,376 --> 00:02:33,877
from a rando about something
I don't care about.
59
00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:35,988
(gasps)
I have a diary, too!
60
00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:38,323
(exhales)
Oh.
61
00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:39,482
(moans softly)
62
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:43,978
People were playing eighth notes
like it was nothing.
63
00:02:44,072 --> 00:02:46,481
Band kids are the coolest kids
in high school.
64
00:02:46,575 --> 00:02:49,484
No fair.
Lisa gets to go to high school?
65
00:02:49,578 --> 00:02:51,170
I was supposed
to be King of the Burnouts
66
00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:52,820
before she even got there.
67
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,232
Well, son, I guess Lisa's
just unusually bright.
68
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,660
She gets it from me.
(shouts)
69
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,086
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
70
00:03:00,239 --> 00:03:02,163
I left all my sheet music
at school.
71
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,474
I have to go get it.
72
00:03:06,261 --> 00:03:08,228
Ah...
73
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,676
Hmm?
74
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,196
(drums playing)
75
00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,682
-Shauna!
-I'm Shauna!
76
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,850
Did you stay late to practice?
77
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,778
No way. As if.
78
00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:27,039
You're practicing. Being stupid.
79
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,708
You don't need to.
You're great at it.
80
00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:31,752
I'm jealous.
81
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,714
Shauna, we share
a passion for music.
82
00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:37,958
(gasps)
Do you want to jam?
83
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,126
Yeah, jam this stick in my eye
84
00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:42,370
if this conversation
goes on another second.
85
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,463
Gah.
86
00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:46,040
Fine! But I'm not afraid
to admit that music
87
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,376
means something to me,
unlike you.
88
00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:51,271
(imitating Shauna):
You're Shauna.
89
00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:54,791
Hey!
90
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:56,718
I'm sorry if
I was mean back there...
91
00:03:56,812 --> 00:03:58,237
little weirdo.
92
00:03:58,464 --> 00:03:59,813
I really don't know
how to take that.
93
00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:02,390
Well, maybe we can talk about it
tomorrow at my house...
94
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,651
when you come over to jam.
95
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:05,986
(gasps)
I'd love to!
96
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,562
Where do you live?
97
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,972
Okay, stalker.
98
00:04:09,141 --> 00:04:10,749
(groans)
99
00:04:14,646 --> 00:04:16,313
Oh, hello, Lisa Simpson.
100
00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:18,315
And how are you
this fine evening?
101
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,985
Dad, stop interrogating people,
you fascist!
102
00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:23,053
Hmm.
103
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:27,415
Wow, you're really rude
to your dad.
104
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,010
Thanks. That's actually
the reason I got into drums.
105
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,345
To drive him crazy.
106
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:33,513
But then I...
107
00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:35,832
Turns out,
I really like playing music.
108
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,776
It takes the suck out of things.
109
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:40,020
It does take
the suck out of things.
110
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,597
(gasps)
I just said a light swear.
111
00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:45,008
-(both laugh)
-(knocking)
112
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,119
Well, sounds like you
girls are having fun.
113
00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:48,603
How would you know?!
114
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,347
(sighs)
Yes. Well, uh,
115
00:04:50,365 --> 00:04:52,273
dinner's almost ready, dear.
116
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,367
Lisa and I are eating
at the mall.
117
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,111
I've been hand-rolling
gnocchi all day.
118
00:04:57,205 --> 00:04:59,113
Stop touching my food.
119
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,091
Food-toucher.
120
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,211
Look at all this science stuff.
121
00:05:05,364 --> 00:05:06,880
Are you building a Frankenstein?
122
00:05:07,032 --> 00:05:08,548
'Cause if you are,
you have to tell me.
123
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,217
Ah, yes.
Uh, you're here to pick up Lisa.
124
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:14,554
She's at the mall with my,
uh, challenging daughter.
125
00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:18,132
Eh, tell me something, Simpson,
do you like beer?
126
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,710
Hmm, I never thought about it.
127
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:22,738
(glugging)
128
00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,733
Well, I've been brewing
my own Belgian ale
129
00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:28,902
in the style
of the Trappist monks.
130
00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:30,829
It's a,
it's a stupid hobby really.
131
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,647
(laughs)
That is stupid.
132
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,148
I buy my beer in a bar.
133
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,817
I-I'm sure you do.
134
00:05:35,952 --> 00:05:37,711
But, uh, just take a sip.
135
00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:43,258
(choir singing)
136
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:48,071
This is the most delicious drink
137
00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:50,924
I ever drank
that could get me drunk.
138
00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:52,184
You made this?
139
00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:54,168
Yes, I did. If you'd like,
140
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:57,747
I could show you how to brew it
using these simple ingredients.
141
00:05:57,766 --> 00:06:00,525
Beer has ingredients?
142
00:06:00,752 --> 00:06:02,194
What the hell?
143
00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:04,696
(glugging)
144
00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:06,531
You have so much to teach me.
145
00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:08,575
(burps)
146
00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:12,537
Okay, worked there,
got fired there.
147
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:15,374
Got unfairly accused
of shoplifting there.
148
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:18,618
Oh, shoplifted
a ton of stuff there.
149
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,770
Wow, you've really lived.
150
00:06:20,864 --> 00:06:22,606
In this end of the mall, sure.
151
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,049
Cool!
152
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,700
A selfie machine.
153
00:06:25,794 --> 00:06:28,345
(camera clicking)
154
00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:32,282
Ooh, A Prom Before Dying.
155
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,709
I read that book.
It's about two teenagers
156
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:38,788
who fall in love despite
only having 45 minutes to live.
157
00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:40,306
Sounds stupid.
158
00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:43,050
Let's go see it. It's on me.
159
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:46,053
LISA: Shauna's so great.
She's like a fun, older friend
160
00:06:46,148 --> 00:06:48,465
who's mean to me for no reason.
161
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:50,892
But somehow I really want
to hang out with her.
162
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,578
What do you call that?
163
00:06:53,805 --> 00:06:55,822
Um, she seems young for a movie
164
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,065
with adult themes.
165
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,826
You have to let her in.
166
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,478
I'm her big sister.
167
00:07:01,647 --> 00:07:04,481
LISA: (gasps)
That's it-- big sister!
168
00:07:04,650 --> 00:07:07,926
Now let's go watch teenage
sickos make out, then croak...
169
00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:10,512
-little sis.
-(giggles)
170
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,520
(smooth jazz music playing)
171
00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:38,773
♪ Shauna, two, three, four ♪
172
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:41,017
♪ Is my new three, four ♪
173
00:07:41,036 --> 00:07:44,212
♪ Super awesome,
three, four, sister! ♪
174
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,710
You've made a very fussy enemy.
175
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,620
Well... later, losers!
176
00:07:52,714 --> 00:07:55,865
That's what Shauna and I
call people who aren't us.
177
00:07:55,884 --> 00:07:57,976
Isn't that cute?
178
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,293
HOMER:
Hmm.
179
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:02,222
Hmm, I'm not sure
Shauna's the best influence.
180
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,891
She always seems
like she's so over it.
181
00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:07,377
Even when "it" is
something nice.
182
00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:10,304
Yep, teens are garbage.
(chuckles)
183
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,215
Anyway, I'm off to 'Mers.
184
00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:13,900
Don't you mean Moe's?
185
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,643
No, Chalmers.
186
00:08:15,737 --> 00:08:18,872
Now there's a different
sad, old man getting me drunk.
187
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,892
♪ Before we commence
a new batch ♪
188
00:08:22,986 --> 00:08:25,078
♪ Let us chug deep the last ♪
189
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:28,465
♪ Of the old. ♪
190
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,262
(harmonic burping)
191
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:39,926
Oh, man.
192
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,336
Art thou as hammered as I?
193
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,265
Yes, verily, but, Homer,
Trappist brewing
194
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:48,193
is about more
than just drinking the beer.
195
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:51,029
It's about the traditions
of the Belgian monks
196
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,940
who created this divine quaff.
197
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,576
(festive music playing)
198
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,542
(retching)
199
00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,769
See, that's what I like
about home brewing.
200
00:09:05,862 --> 00:09:09,105
You're there when it enters
the world, so full of promise.
201
00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:12,033
And you know that if you pour
your heart and hard work
202
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,719
into it,
it won't tell you it's pregnant
203
00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:16,513
just to mess with you.
204
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:19,949
Simpson!
205
00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,893
-Hmm?
-I think it's time for you
206
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,788
to brew this next batch
on your own.
207
00:09:24,806 --> 00:09:26,456
You think I'm ready?
208
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:30,310
Oh, I sense
great drunkenness in you.
209
00:09:30,462 --> 00:09:31,644
♪ ♪
210
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,740
Mm. I didn't think
he'd transform on page one,
211
00:09:35,892 --> 00:09:38,151
but I'm not complaining.
212
00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:40,561
(playing DJ Kool's
"Let Me Clear My Throat")
213
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:42,622
My horror-romance!
214
00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:52,757
Messing with parents
is the best.
215
00:09:57,172 --> 00:09:59,505
Wow, Shauna, you're so good!
216
00:09:59,658 --> 00:10:03,009
I've been thinking, you should
try out for lead drummer.
217
00:10:03,178 --> 00:10:04,936
They would never give that
to me.
218
00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:07,831
Even if I wanted it,
which I don't.
219
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,774
Why won't you shut up
about this?
220
00:10:10,001 --> 00:10:12,093
Mmm, these Cheetos are cheesy.
221
00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,261
Shauna, listen,
the last thing I'd ever do
222
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,616
is imply that you care,
but I think you're a star.
223
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:20,118
And stars are meant to shine.
224
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:22,178
So if you won't do this
for yourself,
225
00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:23,938
will you do it for me?
226
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:26,273
Uh...
227
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,534
I think I have
cheese dust in my eyes.
228
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,520
Fine, I'll do the audition.
229
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:32,446
But only to shut you up.
230
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,539
Yes!
231
00:10:33,692 --> 00:10:35,875
Mind if I celebrate
with a sax solo?
232
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:38,044
Oh, that'd be great.
233
00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:40,639
(chuckles)
Sarcasm noted.
234
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:43,516
♪ ♪
235
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:51,708
Huzzah, big brother!
236
00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:53,467
Thank you, petit frère.
237
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,302
(both giggling)
238
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:58,548
Next audition...
Shauna Chalmers?!
239
00:10:58,641 --> 00:10:59,899
I am so out of here.
240
00:11:00,051 --> 00:11:01,201
Mm.
241
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:06,665
(inhales, exhales)
242
00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,764
(crying)
243
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,502
(crowd cheering)
244
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:30,063
(giggling)
245
00:11:32,767 --> 00:11:34,150
♪ ♪
246
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,682
ALL:
Shauna!
247
00:11:41,851 --> 00:11:43,609
(cheering)
248
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,704
Shauna, that was great!
249
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:48,856
(whispers): I won't tell anyone
how hard you practiced.
250
00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:50,116
Like I care.
251
00:11:50,268 --> 00:11:51,376
(whispers):
Thanks.
252
00:11:51,603 --> 00:11:54,454
Um, Shauna, I'm sorry
to bother you,
253
00:11:54,606 --> 00:11:56,773
but I'm Trevor McBride,
star quarterback.
254
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,866
Cool bio, Jock Cousteau.
255
00:11:58,944 --> 00:12:00,109
What do you want?
256
00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:02,036
Well, um,
I couldn't help but noticing
257
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,556
that you blew my mind tonight
with your drumming.
258
00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:06,933
I'm having a pool party
at my house tomorrow.
259
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,560
-Do you want to come?
-Mm.
260
00:12:08,787 --> 00:12:10,878
Of course, your band friends
are invited, too.
261
00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:13,064
Sure. I guess.
262
00:12:13,291 --> 00:12:15,233
"Sure" and "I guess"?
263
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,642
Crushing it!
264
00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:18,052
I don't know. I've never been
265
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,146
to a teen party before.
266
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,131
Don't worry, you'll be
with your big sis.
267
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,743
Whatevs, it's all good, NBD.
268
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,971
What am I saying?
It's a huge BD!
269
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:29,914
-(giggles)
-Oh, I forgot to mention.
270
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:32,325
Everyone has to bring
a beer to get in.
271
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,478
Huh, I think I have
a hookup for some brews.
272
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:38,072
Hmm. Warm caramel color,
273
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:40,149
the foam is
immaculately bubbled.
274
00:12:40,168 --> 00:12:42,502
Beautifully brewed,
Brother Homer.
275
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,669
♪ ♪
276
00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:45,746
Today, you have truly become
277
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,324
my padre from another madre.
278
00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:49,659
(chuckles)
279
00:12:49,752 --> 00:12:53,605
I wish only to be worthy
of our humble labels.
280
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:57,016
-(both chuckle)
-SHAUNA: Daddy?
281
00:12:57,168 --> 00:12:58,777
I know I've been kind of
a B-word lately.
282
00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:01,780
That stands for Brenda.
She's this total bitch I know.
283
00:13:02,007 --> 00:13:04,173
So Lisa and I want
to apologize by, like,
284
00:13:04,192 --> 00:13:05,950
putting on a little show
for you.
285
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:08,845
Shauna, that is
so thoughtful and-and...
286
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:10,346
Just shut up
and come in the house!
287
00:13:10,439 --> 00:13:12,940
You're so embarrassing!
Both of you!
288
00:13:13,034 --> 00:13:15,084
BOTH:
Sorry, Shauna.
289
00:13:24,029 --> 00:13:24,952
(tires screech)
290
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,712
Awesome! This beer is exactly
291
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:28,548
where the chick
said it would be.
292
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:29,957
Her name is Shauna!
293
00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:31,701
Learn three things
about her that don't have
294
00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:34,145
to do with her looks,
or you're off the team!
295
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:36,439
(playing jazz music)
296
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,879
Wonderful. Shauna and I
are finally connecting.
297
00:13:42,897 --> 00:13:44,881
We're just like
the Gilmore Girls.
298
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,141
(chuckles)
And I'm Lorelai.
299
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,245
(whispers):
I'm so happy for you.
300
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,289
(clicks)
301
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:57,894
♪ ♪
302
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,912
What?
303
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,231
-Bravissima! Yes!
-Yeah! (whooping)
304
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,300
-Wonderful, wonderful!
-Yeah! All right!
305
00:14:10,909 --> 00:14:13,242
Welcome to the pool party,
ladies.
306
00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:14,686
We've got pizza, burgers--
307
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:16,503
possible and Impossible--
308
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,082
and hella soda,
courtesy of my parents.
309
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,933
BOTH:
Love you, T-Man!
310
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,027
(lively chatter)
311
00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:25,346
Oh, my God!
312
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,090
It's a little girl
with a saxophone.
313
00:14:27,092 --> 00:14:28,758
So cute.
314
00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,684
Play us a song, Saxophone Girl.
315
00:14:30,778 --> 00:14:32,370
Okay, sure.
316
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,188
♪ ♪
317
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,099
I don't care what people say.
318
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:39,102
I just think music is one
of the coolest sounds out there.
319
00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,770
Want to kiss about it?
320
00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:42,589
Duh.
321
00:14:44,033 --> 00:14:45,625
Trev,
322
00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:47,777
Mom and I are going to one
of those fun escape rooms
323
00:14:47,795 --> 00:14:49,112
in another city.
324
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,555
Is it okay with you
that we won't
325
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,115
be back for seven hours?
326
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,133
Oh, don't worry
about them, Brian.
327
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,618
It's almost nightfall.
328
00:14:55,637 --> 00:14:58,304
That's when teen pizza parties
generally break up.
329
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,805
Bye.
330
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,065
(engine starts)
331
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,808
Well, party's over.
332
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,628
Now let's make
two separate recycling piles.
333
00:15:05,721 --> 00:15:07,463
JOHNNY JOE:
The beer...
334
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:09,132
is here!
335
00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:11,326
(all cheering, clamoring)
336
00:15:13,062 --> 00:15:15,038
(electronic dance music playing)
337
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,570
Uh, this is like
one of those TV shows
338
00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:25,673
I'm not supposed to watch.
339
00:15:29,154 --> 00:15:31,078
-Our beer, someone stole it!
-(Homer gasps)
340
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:33,990
But I brewed that
with the malt of my loins.
341
00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,825
(crying)
342
00:15:35,994 --> 00:15:37,751
Oh, God,
please don't let Shauna have
343
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,086
anything to do with this.
344
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,680
I'm gonna check
her social media.
345
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,665
She lets you follow her?
346
00:15:42,758 --> 00:15:43,608
Of course not.
347
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,518
I follow her as "Rodrigo,"
348
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,095
a goth teen from Argentina.
349
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,188
Mm.
350
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,616
Oh, dear God,
that so-called pool party
351
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,268
is a bona fide rager!
352
00:15:54,362 --> 00:15:55,678
(gasps)
353
00:15:55,697 --> 00:15:59,031
Our homebrewed beer is
inebriating these minors.
354
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,607
We have to go save them.
355
00:16:00,685 --> 00:16:03,294
The beers I mean,
from those awful teens!
356
00:16:03,521 --> 00:16:06,447
Excuse me, have you seen Shauna?
357
00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:08,040
Big sister?
358
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,451
Cool, it's a metal beer bong.
359
00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:12,712
Thanks.
360
00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,097
(gasps)
361
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:16,474
(glugging)
362
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:18,534
(wails)
363
00:16:18,553 --> 00:16:20,219
Hello, emergency?
364
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,480
I'd like to report
the abandonment of a minor.
365
00:16:22,707 --> 00:16:24,465
The minor is me!
(sobbing)
366
00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:27,468
Hurry, this party is
out of control!
367
00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:28,802
What are you doing?
368
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,881
Did you just narc out the party,
you party narc?
369
00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:33,216
Where were you?!
370
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:35,309
I was with Trevor, getting some.
371
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,811
-Some what?
-Some smooches.
372
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,646
-Duh!
-Your turn.
373
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,499
You give me that!
374
00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:43,484
Oh, no, this is terrible.
375
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,078
Homer, we need to get
every one of those bottles,
376
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,655
or my superintending days
are over.
377
00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,591
(Homer whimpering)
378
00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:55,829
You abandoned me.
379
00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:57,498
And I was really scared.
380
00:16:57,592 --> 00:17:01,168
I thought big sisters were
supposed to take care of you.
381
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,246
And I thought little sisters
weren't supposed
382
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,672
to be stupid, snitchy babies.
383
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:08,359
I am not a stupid, snitchy baby!
384
00:17:08,586 --> 00:17:10,844
(crying)
385
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,179
-(lively chatter)
-♪ ♪
386
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,865
It's worse than we thought,
Chief.
387
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:15,608
This party's not just epic.
388
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,426
It's legendary.
389
00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:20,446
Now, who could have given
these teens so much beer?
390
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,707
Uh, good evening,
Your Eminences.
391
00:17:22,858 --> 00:17:24,116
May God be with you.
392
00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,118
Chief, those are no monks!
393
00:17:26,271 --> 00:17:28,746
-(Wiggum gasps)
-(both clamoring)
394
00:17:28,898 --> 00:17:30,697
You two are under arrest
395
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,441
for subjecting these kids
396
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,794
to the best night
of their lives.
397
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:37,055
Well, there goes my career
and my pension.
398
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:39,706
Oh, and also
I'm going to prison.
399
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:42,018
(laughing)
400
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,229
-(Homer whimpers)
-LOU: Chief?
401
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:47,214
I just breathalyzed
all these teens.
402
00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:49,642
They're all blowing 0.0.
403
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,961
Dear God, they're already dead!
404
00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:54,697
This beer contains no alcohol.
405
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:58,134
Simpson, you-you glorious idiot.
406
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,969
You forgot to add the yeast.
407
00:17:59,987 --> 00:18:01,079
What forgot the who?
408
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:03,806
No fermentation means
no intoxication.
409
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,825
Mwah!
Your incompetence
410
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,901
just saved our cowls.
411
00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:10,646
Attention teens,
you are not drunk.
412
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:12,315
Repeat-- not drunk.
413
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,984
Please examine
your outrageous behavior
414
00:18:15,002 --> 00:18:17,595
through a lens
of newfound self-awareness.
415
00:18:17,822 --> 00:18:20,414
Please use this experience
416
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,101
to better understand
the pressures you're all under,
417
00:18:23,252 --> 00:18:25,995
and have more compassion
for your friends,
418
00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:28,606
teachers, parents,
and most of all,
419
00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:31,109
yourselves. Over.
420
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:33,778
You bungling brewmasters
are free to go.
421
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,187
My career.
422
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:37,615
It's saved.
(laughing)
423
00:18:37,842 --> 00:18:39,024
Yes.
424
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,269
Whoa, Rodrigo
from Instagram is crying
425
00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,122
at our party!
426
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:46,515
Let's comfort him.
427
00:18:46,576 --> 00:18:47,867
(crying)
428
00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,776
All right, yeah...
(chuckles)
429
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,037
Yes, all right.
430
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,374
Sweetie, what are you doing
at a teenager party?
431
00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:56,950
Shauna brought me!
432
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,620
But I never want
to see her stupid face again!
433
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,046
(crying)
434
00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:02,548
-Dad...
-Mm.
435
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,142
MARGE:
Oh, Lisa.
436
00:19:04,327 --> 00:19:06,051
It's been a week now.
437
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:08,128
Are you still upset
about Shauna?
438
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,964
I really did think of her
like a sister.
439
00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:13,985
Well, you still have
your real sister.
440
00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:17,321
-Hmm?
-(Maggie giggling)
441
00:19:20,218 --> 00:19:21,901
Well, your father and I
are headed out.
442
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,144
We're gonna spend
some Mommy-Daddy time.
443
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,164
Marge, did you get
the hotel room?
444
00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:29,575
Because I got the chants
and the incense.
445
00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:31,502
Ave Maria.
446
00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:32,837
(doorbell rings)
447
00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:34,914
That must be the babysitter.
448
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:36,465
Hmm?
449
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:39,177
Oh, hello.
450
00:19:39,253 --> 00:19:41,237
You look... well.
451
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:43,072
Thanks.
I thought I might see you here
452
00:19:43,090 --> 00:19:45,600
at the house you live in.
453
00:19:47,094 --> 00:19:48,686
What's going on here?
454
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,855
Well, whatever it is,
the awkwardness is...
455
00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,506
(smooches)
...delicious.
456
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,750
(laughs)
457
00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,028
So, how's the marching band?
458
00:19:57,255 --> 00:19:59,012
I can't believe
they made me quit
459
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,847
when that kid's toe healed.
460
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,683
I hate Western medicine.
461
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,260
Oh, I quit, too.
462
00:20:04,278 --> 00:20:07,038
I started a punk band, where I'm
the drummer and the singer.
463
00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,098
Just like Phil Collins!
464
00:20:09,116 --> 00:20:10,524
Okay, got to go.
465
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,877
We're called
Brenda and the B-words.
466
00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:14,770
I never would have done it
without all that
467
00:20:14,789 --> 00:20:16,789
stupid confidence you gave me.
468
00:20:16,958 --> 00:20:19,275
Wow, that's actually
really nice to hear.
469
00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:21,385
Shut up, it wasn't meant to be.
470
00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:23,054
Anyway, I brought my drums.
471
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:24,613
You want to jam?
472
00:20:24,632 --> 00:20:25,890
I'd like that.
473
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:27,950
Oh, dear God, no.
474
00:20:27,969 --> 00:20:29,644
♪ ♪
475
00:20:33,624 --> 00:20:35,524
Aah!
(grunts)
476
00:20:48,564 --> 00:20:51,040
("You Can Count on Me"
by Sammy Davis playing)
477
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,644
♪ If you get in trouble ♪
478
00:20:55,663 --> 00:20:58,147
♪ Bring it home to me ♪
479
00:20:58,165 --> 00:21:01,166
♪ Whether I am near you ♪
480
00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:04,929
♪ Or across the sea ♪
481
00:21:05,156 --> 00:21:08,340
♪ I will think
of something to do ♪
482
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,010
♪ I'll be on the lookout
for you ♪
483
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,770
♪ And I'll find you ♪
484
00:21:12,997 --> 00:21:15,664
♪ You can count on me ♪
485
00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:19,443
♪ You can count on,
you can count on ♪
486
00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:21,837
♪ You can count on ♪
487
00:21:21,856 --> 00:21:23,339
♪ Count on me. ♪
488
00:21:23,357 --> 00:21:24,840
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
489
00:21:24,933 --> 00:21:26,175
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490
00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:27,618
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
491
00:21:28,696 --> 00:21:30,329
Shh!
492
00:21:32,441 --> 00:21:34,625
Captioned by
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