1 00:00:07,399 --> 00:00:09,583 Hmm? Mm. 2 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,719 -Don't pick it. -D'oh! 3 00:00:14,073 --> 00:00:16,181 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:24,933 --> 00:00:26,692 498... 5 00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:28,343 499... 6 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,362 It's time. 7 00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:34,775 ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:34,927 --> 00:00:36,994 It's time. 9 00:00:41,358 --> 00:00:44,268 I'm sorry. We're going to have to pull the plug. 10 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,027 It's time. 11 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:48,863 See ya later, vegitaters. Ha-ha! 12 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,107 (groaning) 13 00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:52,259 (rhythmic beats) 14 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:55,779 All ears on me! 15 00:00:55,872 --> 00:00:56,963 (feedback screeches) 16 00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:59,058 For 37 years, we've played shuffleboard 17 00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:01,209 against our crosstown rivals. 18 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,063 The Golden Exits Retirement Farm. 19 00:01:04,139 --> 00:01:06,123 (others booing) 20 00:01:06,141 --> 00:01:08,067 Those rich snobs think they're better than us, 21 00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:10,718 with their yoga classes, 22 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,796 and their aquacise, 23 00:01:12,815 --> 00:01:15,723 and their name-brand applesauce. 24 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:16,909 (grunts) 25 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,726 (cheering, clamoring) 26 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,637 But today we show them 27 00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:22,306 what we can do! 28 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,991 Cloudy eyes! Functioning hearts! 29 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,294 OTHERS: Can't lose! 30 00:01:29,739 --> 00:01:31,906 (alert buzzing) 31 00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:34,343 Aw, they want something. 32 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,638 (Muzak playing) 33 00:01:39,825 --> 00:01:42,726 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,232 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:50,853 --> 00:01:52,102 (exclaims) 36 00:01:53,172 --> 00:01:55,856 No fair. The other team's got a ringer. 37 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,841 ♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪ 38 00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,676 ♪ 200,000 miles ♪ 39 00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:01,269 ♪ Owner of an '80s car ♪ 40 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,247 ♪ Got it for graduation. ♪ 41 00:02:07,202 --> 00:02:09,711 (somber fanfare plays) 42 00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,045 (siren wails) 43 00:02:19,198 --> 00:02:20,139 (person coughs) 44 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,265 Mm. 45 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,433 ♪ ♪ 46 00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:31,466 (cheering, clamoring) 47 00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:32,709 We win! 48 00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:35,237 Yet somehow I feel guilty. 49 00:02:39,976 --> 00:02:42,810 That woman won't stop staring at me. 50 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,646 I'm not surprised, Marge. 51 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,574 You are a senior home ten. 52 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:48,575 (Marge grumbles) 53 00:02:48,652 --> 00:02:51,003 Do I... know you? 54 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:52,412 Margie the Meanie? 55 00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:54,506 You've caused me enough trouble! 56 00:02:54,658 --> 00:02:56,249 (sobbing): No! Oh... 57 00:02:56,326 --> 00:02:58,719 Mom, what don't we know about you? 58 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,496 Marge Bouvier, 59 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,557 you ruined my life! 60 00:03:04,459 --> 00:03:07,761 I never want to see you again! 61 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,063 -(horn blaring) -(bells clanging) 62 00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,509 That is my old principal. 63 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,679 Mom, she's treating you like you were a bad kid in school. 64 00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:20,440 But that's impossible. 65 00:03:20,592 --> 00:03:22,592 Unless... 66 00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:25,329 Well, I... not really. 67 00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,949 You were a bad kid in school! 68 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,543 High five. And now you're trying to lie about it! 69 00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,453 -(gasps) We're the same! -(car alarms sounding) 70 00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:35,196 We're the same! We're the same! We're the same! 71 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,699 Oh, I finally have a parent I am proud of. 72 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,276 Aw. 73 00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,202 (chuckles) Marge. 74 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,889 You must've run into Principal York. 75 00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:46,874 You made her life a living hell. 76 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,302 (sighs) It started in middle school. 77 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,637 Middle school. 78 00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:53,715 That's when we were sopranos in the choir. 79 00:03:53,809 --> 00:03:55,976 (gravelly harmonizing) 80 00:03:56,128 --> 00:03:57,753 (coughing) 81 00:03:57,755 --> 00:04:00,280 Ah! Still got it. 82 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,576 MARGE: In seventh grade, I had to switch schools. 83 00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:06,662 ♪ ♪ 84 00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:10,499 (electric guitar solo plays) 85 00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:16,088 We wear top and bottom eyeliner. 86 00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:17,905 Check out this tattoo. 87 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,240 Is that press-on? 88 00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:20,742 Henna. 89 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:22,219 (gasps) 90 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:25,655 They were so nasty to me. 91 00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:27,582 Ah! 92 00:04:27,676 --> 00:04:29,843 (Marge sobbing) 93 00:04:29,995 --> 00:04:31,161 SELMA: And then one day, 94 00:04:31,163 --> 00:04:32,996 against a checked-out principal, 95 00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:34,273 you won them over. 96 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,516 The mean girls are picking on me again. 97 00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:38,351 Well, what do you expect me to do, 98 00:04:38,504 --> 00:04:41,095 start some kind of anti-bullying policy? 99 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,490 Also no standing during lunch. 100 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,358 (shouts) 101 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,451 (all gasp) 102 00:04:46,678 --> 00:04:48,528 (laughter) 103 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,848 I'll do a lot better with the next person I hire. 104 00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:54,293 He'll be a win-ner! 105 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,354 The new girl did that. 106 00:04:57,372 --> 00:04:58,946 It was cool. 107 00:04:59,082 --> 00:05:00,999 ALL: Cool girl! Cool girl! 108 00:05:01,226 --> 00:05:02,876 I am a cool girl. 109 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,786 Don't check with my old school. 110 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,546 You pranked the principal? 111 00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:09,141 I embarrassed her, but I shouldn't have. 112 00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:12,185 But that didn't stop you from doing it again. 113 00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:15,147 (exclaims) 114 00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:18,558 Oh, my God! We saw the principal's bra. 115 00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,226 We've entered... 116 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,545 (deep voice): ...puberty! 117 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:22,879 PATTY: And again. 118 00:05:22,898 --> 00:05:25,657 (gasps) It's not even grammatical. 119 00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:30,904 Oh, my God, Mom, you're not perfect. 120 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,814 You're so not perfect. 121 00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,315 Bart, I'm not... 122 00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:37,151 This is the first hug where you've ever hugged me back. 123 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,896 Hug you back? I started the damn hug. 124 00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,758 Language, but aw... 125 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,014 -(Ralph humming) -(gasps) 126 00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,498 Two customers in the shop at once. 127 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,517 Call the fire marshal. 128 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,260 I want to buy a Batman. 129 00:05:54,429 --> 00:05:56,429 Um, not so fast. Which era? 130 00:05:56,582 --> 00:05:58,690 Which artist? Dark Knight or Adam West? 131 00:05:58,842 --> 00:06:02,343 (sighs) Sometimes I regret not finishing medical school. 132 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:05,105 I was one credit away. One. 133 00:06:05,273 --> 00:06:08,015 I want the one where Batman eats lasagna. 134 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,610 That is Garfield, who is not a bat, but a cat. 135 00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:14,114 How can someone with such a big head be so stupid? 136 00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:17,267 That is so cruel, picking on that poor Wiggum boy. 137 00:06:17,285 --> 00:06:19,619 Someone should teach him a lesson. 138 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,362 Someone who's not afraid 139 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,548 to be a hero to her son. 140 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,942 Do it, Marge. Prank that guy. 141 00:06:25,961 --> 00:06:27,293 Superman? 142 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:30,947 Uh, for legal reasons, you can call me Uber Hombre. 143 00:06:30,966 --> 00:06:33,058 Once again the lack of clear copyright 144 00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:35,135 in my country has screwed me. 145 00:06:35,303 --> 00:06:36,970 My copyright expired. 146 00:06:37,122 --> 00:06:38,972 Would you like to be the Scarlet Pimpernel? 147 00:06:39,124 --> 00:06:40,715 No, thank you. 148 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,550 Maybe something should be done. 149 00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,236 Aw. 150 00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:47,130 Why, look, if it isn't Lex Loser. 151 00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:49,908 Ha. Stop working the package to see 152 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,893 what the middle comic is in the three-pack. 153 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,561 Take your chances like a man. 154 00:06:53,697 --> 00:06:56,248 But I want to see if the middle one is valuable. 155 00:06:56,475 --> 00:06:58,491 The middle comic is never valuable. 156 00:06:58,644 --> 00:07:01,144 It's there to take up space like lettuce on a hamburger, 157 00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,237 a seat filler at the Emmys, 158 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,405 or you. 159 00:07:04,499 --> 00:07:06,332 (sobbing) 160 00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:08,051 ♪ ♪ 161 00:07:10,155 --> 00:07:12,264 Uh, excuse me, Mr. Guy? 162 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,415 I have more money than you've ever seen 163 00:07:14,509 --> 00:07:16,143 in this store. 164 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,771 Yes, sir, and may I offer you a snack? 165 00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,181 You serve snacks? 166 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,090 For valued customers, yes. 167 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,018 Have a mint, or if you prefer, 168 00:07:25,187 --> 00:07:27,595 a near mint. Could I interest you 169 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,115 in this very emotional Spider-Man, in which 170 00:07:30,342 --> 00:07:33,526 Peter Parker confronts and forgives the spider who bit him? 171 00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:34,619 (gasps) 172 00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,513 A comic book's arch enemy! 173 00:07:36,531 --> 00:07:37,939 Cola! No! 174 00:07:38,033 --> 00:07:39,607 Oh, God! Oh! 175 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,185 Oh, God! Ah! (grunts) 176 00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,537 To quote the immortal Shaggy: 177 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,465 "Zoinks!" 178 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:56,475 (both laughing) 179 00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:59,869 (laughing) 180 00:07:59,888 --> 00:08:01,563 (all laughing) 181 00:08:02,557 --> 00:08:06,026 (both laughing) 182 00:08:07,470 --> 00:08:08,820 What's so funny? 183 00:08:09,047 --> 00:08:10,547 (giggles) Mom and I... 184 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,215 (shushes, giggles) 185 00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:13,641 ...did a prank together. 186 00:08:13,735 --> 00:08:14,993 Shh! Sweetie. 187 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,386 Whoa, wait a minute. 188 00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:18,163 So Bart gets his wild side 189 00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:20,665 from his mother? That makes no sense. 190 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,501 Boys get stuff from their dads, 191 00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:25,245 like their favorite baseball team, mental disorders, 192 00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:28,006 and the lame joke they tell every waiter. 193 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,749 Say, Maggie? 194 00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:31,918 Why don't you get this one? 195 00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,586 Ha-ha-ha. 196 00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:36,422 Imagine, a baby paying a check. 197 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,908 Well, maybe Bart's pranking allele 198 00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:41,019 is on the maternal chromosome. 199 00:08:41,170 --> 00:08:43,580 (sighs) The only part of that I understood 200 00:08:43,673 --> 00:08:45,006 was "allele." 201 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,507 I'm talking Mendelian genetics. 202 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,510 Young lady, we do not discuss that at the dinner table. 203 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,363 Now pass the peas. 204 00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:55,516 Hmm. How come one quarter are yellow? 205 00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:56,926 -(sighs) -(both laugh) 206 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,611 So Bart's not like me, 207 00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:00,187 Lisa's not like me. 208 00:09:00,265 --> 00:09:02,949 There will be no evidence I was ever on this earth. 209 00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:05,293 Wait, wait. Maybe Maggie. 210 00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:07,504 (Marge humming) 211 00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:10,257 (sighs) 212 00:09:12,444 --> 00:09:14,627 How many times I got to tell you, Homer? 213 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,780 No outside peas. 214 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,451 It's just that I realized the kids totally take after Marge. 215 00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,636 -Nothing from me. -Come on, Homer. 216 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,231 There's got to be something you passed on to your kids. 217 00:09:26,382 --> 00:09:28,567 That adorable way you pout? 218 00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:29,959 (grumbles) 219 00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:31,127 Uh, the way you can burp-sing 220 00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:32,312 the national anthem? 221 00:09:32,464 --> 00:09:34,406 Great chiming in today, guys. 222 00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:37,158 -Oh, thanks for noticing. -Appreciate it. 223 00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,912 There is something we have in common, Dad. 224 00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:42,730 That we're both made out of beer? 225 00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,475 No, something deeper. Profound. 226 00:09:45,493 --> 00:09:46,976 Dark beer? 227 00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:48,978 You'll have to figure it out yourself. 228 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,423 Oh, I hate when foam makes me think. 229 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,485 Hey, you guys have forgotten one thing. 230 00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:57,095 Lisa Simpson. 231 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,823 She is 100% scientific proof 232 00:09:59,825 --> 00:10:01,099 that I exist. 233 00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:03,918 To Lisa "What's Her Middle Name" Simpson. 234 00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:06,996 Daddy's little girl. 235 00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:09,165 No clinking? What's wrong? 236 00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:10,758 Yeah, well, truth be told, 237 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:14,095 uh, none of us was positive Lisa was really your kid. 238 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:16,022 She's smart as a whip. 239 00:10:16,174 --> 00:10:17,932 -Wha...? -She can control her temper. 240 00:10:18,026 --> 00:10:19,600 Why, you...! 241 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,119 You look exactly like her 242 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:24,438 if she was a big, fat, bald guy, which she's not. 243 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:25,773 In the least. 244 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,292 For your information, 245 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,110 I'm gonna find a wonderful bond 246 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,278 between myself and my little girl. 247 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:35,300 And you childless loners are gonna be so jealous. 248 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,878 You losers will never have this! 249 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:39,971 Losers! 250 00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:41,881 Oh, right, Maggie's in the car. 251 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,184 Shut the damn door! 252 00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:48,963 Marge, I see you're buying 253 00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:50,982 Slaughterhouse Sweepins brand hot dogs. 254 00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:52,709 It must be so easy to shop 255 00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:55,970 when anything's good enough for your family. (chuckles) 256 00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,547 Eh? Eh? 257 00:10:57,565 --> 00:10:59,306 No. No more pranking. 258 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,643 Now we've got to buy food before the prices go up. 259 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:04,996 (Marge groaning nervously) 260 00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:07,907 Timothy and I prefer Opera House Franks. 261 00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:09,742 Maybe you've seen their commercials? 262 00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:11,318 Oh, wait, they're only advertised 263 00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:14,397 on premium cable channels. (chuckles) 264 00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,399 (grunts) 265 00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:18,468 ♪ ♪ 266 00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:28,353 (scanner beeps, stops) 267 00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,338 I need a price check on a pack 268 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,599 -of Gassy Granny Underwear. -(gasps) 269 00:11:33,694 --> 00:11:35,084 That's not mine. 270 00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:37,028 How did it get in my cart? 271 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,439 I also need a price check 272 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,608 on a gallon of Sober by Six Day Drinker's Gin, 273 00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:45,352 Lady Stinkfoot Insoles, 274 00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:48,097 The Marvelous Mrs. Miser's Week-Old Bread, 275 00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:50,357 Barely Helpful Herpes Ointment, 276 00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:53,712 FEMA Brand Emergency Toilet Paper... 277 00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:57,031 and Garbage Mouth Bad Breath Neutralizing Suppositories. 278 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,775 (gasps) 279 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,719 (both laughing) 280 00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:02,512 ♪ ♪ 281 00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:06,799 (grunting) 282 00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:10,119 HOMER: (gasps) Vegetarians like food? 283 00:12:10,288 --> 00:12:12,805 Is that pulled pork dripping with cheese? 284 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:15,475 Uh, yes, except instead of cheese, 285 00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:18,311 I'm using cashew paste with nutritional yeast 286 00:12:18,463 --> 00:12:20,905 and for pork, I'm substituting jackfruit. 287 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:22,574 No pork? 288 00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:25,059 Jackfruit is vegan, abundant, 289 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,911 and no plucking, so it's cruelty-free. 290 00:12:27,063 --> 00:12:28,538 Try some. 291 00:12:30,158 --> 00:12:31,991 Hmm, not bad, not bad. 292 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,735 This is it-- food is our thing. 293 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,237 Well, if you like jackfruit, 294 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:38,757 I know a place you will love. 295 00:12:38,908 --> 00:12:40,425 Mmm. 296 00:12:40,652 --> 00:12:42,427 It's probably not what you're thinking. 297 00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:43,678 D'oh! 298 00:12:45,006 --> 00:12:47,507 Please give me the best kombucha you have on tap, 299 00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:50,769 and a bottle of your finest liquid aminos. 300 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,563 You got it. Namaste. 301 00:12:56,668 --> 00:12:59,426 Mmm. Jicama sticks. 302 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,945 (crunching) 303 00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:03,172 Dad, do you like this food? 304 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:05,784 Oh, sweetie, I love this meal. 305 00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:08,102 I hated that meal. 306 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,771 Oh, thank God I keep an emergency sausage 307 00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,457 beside the bed. 308 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,183 Ew, what is this? 309 00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:15,868 It's a ground-up kickball. 310 00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,037 I pranked you. (laughing) 311 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,114 (Bart laughing in distance) 312 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,467 Why, you little...! (grunts) 313 00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:23,635 Ow! 314 00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:24,803 (Homer laughing) 315 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:26,453 Ow! Ow! Ooh! See, Marge? 316 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,473 That's why we shouldn't have books in the house. 317 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,476 Do you think I like doing this pranking? 318 00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:34,053 When I'm done laughing, I hate myself. 319 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,963 I'm behaving like a little brat 320 00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,982 and it's made me a better mother. 321 00:13:38,209 --> 00:13:40,393 But pranking isn't like you, it's like me. 322 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,395 We can't have two of me in this marriage. 323 00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:44,564 One of me is enough for three of us. 324 00:13:44,716 --> 00:13:47,492 But I can't stop, 'cause I've never been closer to Bart. 325 00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:51,404 I've waited for a connection like this for so long. 326 00:13:51,556 --> 00:13:53,814 Longer than the new Avatar movie. 327 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,224 It's coming, Marge. 328 00:13:55,393 --> 00:13:56,817 You've got to have faith. 329 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,986 You sound like James Cameron, Homer. 330 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,747 What if we never see Pandora again? 331 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,734 The real unobtanium is the sequel. 332 00:14:04,752 --> 00:14:07,720 Have faith, have faith. 333 00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:10,849 Oh, sorry. No one's allowed in the store 334 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,000 while Mr. Burns shops for the right chewing gum. 335 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,686 Are you for real? 336 00:14:14,913 --> 00:14:16,762 I am. He doesn't want to, quote, 337 00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:18,247 "Catch your poverty." 338 00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:19,432 Double mint? (scoffs) 339 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,568 A little too strong for my liking. 340 00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:23,936 My baby has a rash! 341 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,105 And it makes her a wiggle monster. 342 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:30,076 Babies. When will you learn that old people are our future? 343 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:32,871 Please! 344 00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,764 Sorry, I have a medical condition 345 00:14:34,782 --> 00:14:36,357 where I don't give a damn. 346 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:37,524 (dial tone) 347 00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:39,168 ♪ ♪ 348 00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,791 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 349 00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,627 (laughs) He'll just fall 350 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,888 into that soft grass over there. 351 00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:51,306 (grunting) 352 00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:58,379 Ah! Ow! Oh! 353 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,382 (Burns thumping) 354 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,483 (grunting) 355 00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,403 (zapping) 356 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,314 Oh, my God, Bart. We went too far. 357 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,983 You mean you went too far. 358 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,201 We've never been closer! 359 00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:18,991 Marge, you're incredibly lucky Mr. Burns is okay. 360 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,919 It taught me a lesson, Smithers. 361 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,995 -Life could end at any moment. -Mm-hmm. 362 00:15:23,164 --> 00:15:24,997 So we have to jam as much evil 363 00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:27,667 as possible into each remaining day. 364 00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:29,819 (squawking) 365 00:15:29,912 --> 00:15:31,154 (gulps) 366 00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,348 -(giggling) -(squawking) 367 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,846 What are you looking at? 368 00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,440 Marge, I don't understand. 369 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,758 What made you attack that hateful, 370 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,945 nasty, hateful old man? 371 00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:49,113 Um, I was taught that a lady 372 00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:52,175 should never express or experience emotions. 373 00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:54,786 And I don't, except every couple of decades 374 00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:57,789 I snap. Otherwise I'm just simmering, 375 00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,773 simmering, simmering, simmering, 376 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,276 -simmering, simmering... -You must have been such a good little girl. 377 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,778 I don't want to talk anymore today. 378 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:08,282 Well, it's up to you. We can do this over 20 costly years, 379 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,117 or you can have your breakthrough now. 380 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,695 Oh, people can have instant breakthroughs? 381 00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:14,639 Not people with good insurance, 382 00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,382 but yours is lousy. 383 00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:17,809 (sobbing) 384 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,052 Oh, my God! 385 00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,705 It's okay. It's okay. 386 00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,816 Therapists almost never give useful advice, 387 00:16:24,967 --> 00:16:27,151 but here's what you do: just find your old principal, 388 00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:29,228 make your peace, and you'll feel better. 389 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,713 Are you sure? 390 00:16:30,732 --> 00:16:34,325 As sure as I am I really don't want to see you again. 391 00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:38,663 Bart, I-I'm sorry. 392 00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:40,498 Pranking is selfish and unkind. 393 00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,576 Even if it's hilarious. I'm done. 394 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:44,910 Mom, no! 395 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,820 I don't know who I am without pranking. 396 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,397 It's in our blood. 397 00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:51,342 Like when you had me, that was a total prank on Dad. 398 00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:55,329 If you give it up, you're giving me up! 399 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,740 (sobbing) 400 00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,726 ♪ ♪ 401 00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:03,170 Okay, fine. 402 00:17:03,264 --> 00:17:06,098 I think I have one more prank left in me. 403 00:17:06,251 --> 00:17:09,360 And it's gonna be a real doozy. 404 00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:13,013 I love the way you say cool things in lame ways. 405 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,282 -Mm. -(Bart grunts) 406 00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,352 This is great. So great. 407 00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:20,854 I would kill the Easter Bunny for one meatball. 408 00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:23,449 -Now, we shred in some kale. -Oh, no. 409 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:26,435 -And Brussels sprouts, tofu, -You're killing me. 410 00:17:26,454 --> 00:17:28,938 -bell peppers, mushrooms, -I'm gagging! Oh! 411 00:17:29,107 --> 00:17:31,215 -broccolini, artichokes. -Don't say-- oh! 412 00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,200 -Want some blueberries? -Ew! Yuck! 413 00:17:33,336 --> 00:17:34,627 Ooh, sunflower seeds. 414 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,445 You know, if a bag of pig knuckles fell in there, 415 00:17:36,464 --> 00:17:38,297 it wouldn't be the end of the world. 416 00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:40,707 Dad, I love you, but I don't want to do this 417 00:17:40,802 --> 00:17:42,468 if you're gonna... Homer it up. 418 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,045 My name is a verb, meaning "to ruin"? 419 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,047 -That is pretty Homer-ed up. -I'm sorry. 420 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:49,067 -Just try a sip. -(slurps) 421 00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,551 What do you think? 422 00:17:50,645 --> 00:17:51,903 (lisping): Soggy and underseasoned. 423 00:17:52,054 --> 00:17:54,721 I'm sorry. I hate this. 424 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:58,392 I have no similarities with any of my offspring. 425 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,469 (lisping): My tongue is swelling, too! 426 00:18:00,488 --> 00:18:03,897 Hey! Look at us! Our throats are closing as one. 427 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,809 Aw. Want to share an ambulance? 428 00:18:06,902 --> 00:18:08,902 Yes. 429 00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:10,479 It turns out you two have 430 00:18:10,498 --> 00:18:12,739 many common allergies, including 431 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,817 allspice, dust, feathers, fur, 432 00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:16,986 the stuff in peanut butter that isn't peanuts, 433 00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:20,080 also peanuts, animal dander, Irish Spring-- 434 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,507 the season and the soap-- 435 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,827 and the smell of honeysuckle on a dark Georgia night. 436 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,163 -(moans) -What's wrong, Dad? 437 00:18:27,181 --> 00:18:29,014 You're such a great kid. 438 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,925 Sorry I passed down all those bad parts. 439 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,004 Dad, you passed down the most important part of yourself. 440 00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:36,597 Your kind heart. 441 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:40,267 (coughs) I'm afraid I'm allergic to treacle. 442 00:18:40,361 --> 00:18:43,162 (hacking) 443 00:18:43,865 --> 00:18:46,515 I'm here to apologize. 444 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:49,627 Let me guess, there's bees inside. 445 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,797 Please, I just want you to know I'm a good person. 446 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,465 I really am. 447 00:18:54,617 --> 00:18:57,301 Just sniff the flowers, you'll see. 448 00:18:58,196 --> 00:18:59,695 (sniffs, screams) 449 00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:01,455 Oh! Meanie! 450 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,123 (both laughing) 451 00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,884 We got you! 452 00:19:05,036 --> 00:19:08,128 I've always hated children. 453 00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:10,731 (gasps) ¡Ay, caramba! 454 00:19:16,063 --> 00:19:17,471 You're going to juvie 455 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,139 and you're going to women's prison. 456 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,900 And the victim is gonna be buried 457 00:19:21,052 --> 00:19:23,143 with deceased members of the Blue Man Group, 458 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,905 which there are way more than you'd think. 459 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,000 (laughing): All died in hilarious ways. 460 00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,061 Oh, my God, oh, my God! Please be alive. 461 00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:34,580 I'll never prank again. Never! 462 00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:36,657 -(screams) -We got ya! 463 00:19:36,751 --> 00:19:38,509 (both laughing) 464 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,496 Uh-oh, Lou. We have got a zombie situation here. 465 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:45,183 Aim for the brain. It's the only way. 466 00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:47,076 Just teaching a lesson to my son. 467 00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:49,169 She was never dead. 468 00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:50,579 She's a zombie lover, Lou! 469 00:19:50,598 --> 00:19:53,024 Aim for both their heads. It's the only way. 470 00:19:53,175 --> 00:19:54,600 They're not zombies, Chief. 471 00:19:54,752 --> 00:19:56,752 And neither were the Wilsons. 472 00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:58,938 Uh, don't mention the Wilsons. 473 00:19:59,090 --> 00:20:00,773 So, Mom, you taught me the dangers of pranking 474 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,608 while pulling an awesome prank. 475 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:03,776 Lesson learned. 476 00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,036 Have some peanut brittle. 477 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,112 Mm-hmm, no snakes? 478 00:20:07,265 --> 00:20:09,765 I took out the snakes and actually put in peanut brittle. 479 00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:12,126 That's how much I respect you. 480 00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:15,529 Hmm. 481 00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:19,032 Well, you know I love you and I always will. 482 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,110 But enough with the pranking. 483 00:20:21,203 --> 00:20:23,304 Enough with the pranking. 484 00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:26,265 (both grunt) 485 00:20:29,303 --> 00:20:30,394 (chuckles) 486 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,483 (laughs) 487 00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:49,638 "Dear Agnes, I'm so sorry 488 00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:50,973 "I put laxatives in your dog's food. 489 00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:52,733 "Then secretly filmed it. 490 00:20:52,901 --> 00:20:56,236 "Then sent it to America's Worst Carpet Disasters. 491 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:59,924 "Then I won. And used the prize money to buy more laxatives. 492 00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:02,668 Sincerely, Marge." 493 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,930 (groans) Another one done. 494 00:21:06,081 --> 00:21:08,582 (exhales) Well, that's the A's. 495 00:21:08,676 --> 00:21:10,434 "Dear Bernice..." 496 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,937 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 497 00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:16,015 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 498 00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:19,335 And FORD. We go further, so you can. 499 00:21:19,353 --> 00:21:22,697 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 500 00:21:31,607 --> 00:21:33,249 Shh!