1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,239 Good evening. 2 00:00:02,264 --> 00:00:04,780 Tonight we reveal to you the fate of Nedna. 3 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,745 I have devoted my summer to a more meaningful task 4 00:00:07,770 --> 00:00:10,669 salvaging Mr. Popper's Penguins online. 5 00:00:10,907 --> 00:00:12,975 Anyway...the answer to Ned and Edna 6 00:00:13,043 --> 00:00:15,413 is carefully hidden in tonight's episode, 7 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,251 like a bread crumb lodged inside my stomach crease. 8 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:19,854 Enjoy. 9 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:23,819 Whoa! 10 00:00:33,296 --> 00:00:35,063 What the...? 11 00:00:35,131 --> 00:00:36,030 Aha! 12 00:00:37,732 --> 00:00:40,799 ♪ Quiet steps are what I take ♪ 13 00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:43,202 ♪ Sneaking in at noon ♪ 14 00:00:43,269 --> 00:00:46,937 ♪ Just in time for my lunch break ♪ 15 00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:49,938 ♪ Got my fork and spoon ♪ 16 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:52,841 ♪ Time the cameras just right ♪ 17 00:00:52,908 --> 00:00:54,242 ♪ Duck in the bathroom ♪ 18 00:00:54,309 --> 00:00:55,576 Hi, Homer! 19 00:00:55,644 --> 00:00:58,979 ♪ I'm still drunk from last night ♪ 20 00:00:59,046 --> 00:01:00,446 ♪ Got driven home ♪ 21 00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:04,483 ♪ I don't know by whom ♪ 22 00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:07,015 ♪ Some may say ♪ 23 00:01:08,817 --> 00:01:12,152 ♪ I don't deserve any pay ♪ 24 00:01:12,220 --> 00:01:15,054 ♪ But hey ♪ 25 00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:18,557 ♪ I came up with '60s Day ♪ 26 00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:19,691 ♪ Last May. ♪ 27 00:01:19,716 --> 00:01:22,716 ♪ The Simpsons 23x01 ♪ The Falcon and the D'Ohman Original Air Date on September 25, 2011 28 00:01:25,631 --> 00:01:28,133 While I'm here, I might as well pre-punch out. 29 00:01:28,134 --> 00:01:31,134 == sync, corrected by elderman == 30 00:01:31,477 --> 00:01:33,636 Hmm, we've had a lot of bills lately. 31 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:35,137 Better put in some overtime. 32 00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:43,378 Larry, my man! 33 00:01:43,445 --> 00:01:45,046 Hey, you're not Larry. 34 00:01:45,113 --> 00:01:46,080 How come you're not Larry? 35 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,781 I wouldn't know, sir. 36 00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:51,318 Uh, listen, if you could indulge me, 37 00:01:51,386 --> 00:01:53,853 Larry and I fist-bump every morning. 38 00:01:53,921 --> 00:01:54,854 Like that. 39 00:01:54,922 --> 00:01:56,622 The warmth of human contact 40 00:01:56,690 --> 00:01:58,457 with a manly whiff of violence. 41 00:01:58,525 --> 00:01:59,625 Eh? 42 00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,526 Not interested. 43 00:02:01,594 --> 00:02:02,594 Wha...?! 44 00:02:02,661 --> 00:02:04,295 Sheesh! 45 00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:06,229 Hey, what's with that new security guard? 46 00:02:06,297 --> 00:02:07,664 He's acting all aloof. 47 00:02:07,731 --> 00:02:10,500 Uh, by the way, that's my "he's." 48 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:12,501 Maybe I was a little hard on him, 49 00:02:12,569 --> 00:02:14,670 expecting him to be Larry right away. 50 00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:16,238 By the way, where is Larry? 51 00:02:16,305 --> 00:02:17,805 Crazy house. Violent ward. 52 00:02:17,873 --> 00:02:19,373 Good ol' Larry. 53 00:02:20,609 --> 00:02:22,543 Say... Wayne, 54 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,111 I couldn't help but notice 55 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,046 that your breath doesn't smell like alcohol. 56 00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:28,081 You want to go grab a beer after work? 57 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,583 I prefer not to have social interaction with coworkers. 58 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,319 It, um, hasn't worked out for me in the past. 59 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,455 Well, maybe he just doesn't like fist-bumping. 60 00:02:36,522 --> 00:02:38,290 Hey, Wayne. 61 00:02:38,357 --> 00:02:43,427 As God as my witness, this fist will be bumped! 62 00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:45,729 Put that fool thing down. 63 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,097 We now return to 64 00:02:47,165 --> 00:02:49,532 Extreme Snack Edition. 65 00:02:51,769 --> 00:02:55,471 Marge, your ratio of peanut butter to cracker was spot on. 66 00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:57,806 And I loved the addition of the thin slice of apple. 67 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,507 This was a great plate of food. 68 00:02:59,575 --> 00:03:00,908 Thank you. 69 00:03:00,976 --> 00:03:03,410 This is my third favorite reality cooking show. 70 00:03:03,478 --> 00:03:06,146 For your prize, you have won a brand-new kitchen, 71 00:03:06,214 --> 00:03:07,614 which I will now become. 72 00:03:09,416 --> 00:03:11,784 Ow! Ow! Ow! 73 00:03:11,851 --> 00:03:13,653 I miss my soul patch. 74 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,087 Oh. 75 00:03:17,356 --> 00:03:20,289 Kids, enjoy your extreme snack. 76 00:03:22,124 --> 00:03:23,892 Wait, this tastes different. 77 00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:25,860 I put a slice of apple in it. 78 00:03:25,928 --> 00:03:27,061 Gross. 79 00:03:27,129 --> 00:03:28,729 You know I hate surprises. 80 00:03:28,797 --> 00:03:29,797 You tricked us. 81 00:03:29,865 --> 00:03:32,667 I like routine. I like routine. 82 00:03:35,137 --> 00:03:36,804 Did you have a hard day, too? 83 00:03:36,872 --> 00:03:39,639 Ah, a guy at work seems not to like me. 84 00:03:39,707 --> 00:03:40,939 I guess it's not much 85 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:43,040 when you look at real problems in the world, 86 00:03:43,108 --> 00:03:45,743 like Major League umpires not using instant replay. 87 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,010 It's big to you. 88 00:03:47,078 --> 00:03:49,512 Would you like a get well pork chop? 89 00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:51,080 I love you so much. 90 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:53,048 Potatoes and gravy on the side, please. 91 00:03:57,152 --> 00:03:58,653 Charlie, want to grab a beer? 92 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,389 No, I was tipsy last night when a telephone survey called, 93 00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:04,224 so I told them to call back tonight 94 00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:05,758 for more accurate answers. 95 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:07,126 Oh. Okay. 96 00:04:12,031 --> 00:04:13,465 Wayne! 97 00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:16,100 Want a ride? 98 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,734 I can walk. 99 00:04:23,441 --> 00:04:25,276 All right, Homer, you win. 100 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:28,279 You know, I just got a little chill when you said my name. 101 00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:29,646 Every town I go to, 102 00:04:29,714 --> 00:04:31,381 I run into some guy just like this. 103 00:04:32,716 --> 00:04:34,450 Look, I'm not weird or anything, 104 00:04:34,518 --> 00:04:37,020 I just like to feel like I'm friends with everybody. 105 00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:39,255 Homer, you're a nice guy. 106 00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:40,823 I'll have one beer with you. 107 00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:42,190 After that, we will have 108 00:04:42,258 --> 00:04:45,060 a courteous professional relationship, and that's it. 109 00:04:45,128 --> 00:04:47,529 No secret Santa, we're not trading lunches, 110 00:04:47,597 --> 00:04:49,064 Oh! and I don't want you 111 00:04:49,132 --> 00:04:50,899 calling me at home and saying "Turn on channel six." 112 00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:51,967 But what if the weather girl... 113 00:04:52,035 --> 00:04:54,369 I don't care! 114 00:04:57,606 --> 00:04:59,974 Wow, I can't believe Homer bagged the tiger. 115 00:05:00,042 --> 00:05:01,542 Excuse me, I need to use the... 116 00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:02,609 Men's room! 117 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,744 Oh, my God. 118 00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:06,782 We're completing each other's... 119 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,450 Completing each other's... 120 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:14,055 sen... ten... ces... 121 00:05:19,294 --> 00:05:21,295 Totally surprising entrance! 122 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,663 Hand over your cash and jewelry. 123 00:05:24,730 --> 00:05:25,730 Pronto. 124 00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:31,399 Hmm. Hmm. 125 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,501 Okay, now, don't want no trouble. 126 00:05:33,569 --> 00:05:36,737 Let me just get my cash out of my cash drawer here. 127 00:05:36,805 --> 00:05:40,540 Just, uh, lining up all the presidents, nice and neat. 128 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,342 Ain't trying to be no hero. 129 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,244 Uh... 130 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,245 Uh, here you go. 131 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,813 Thanks for the upgrade. 132 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,847 Ha-ha! 133 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:54,752 Wayne? 134 00:05:54,819 --> 00:05:56,153 Stand back, Homer! 135 00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:57,854 I know what I'm doing. 136 00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,256 Well, we all know what we're doing. 137 00:05:59,323 --> 00:06:00,623 The question is, 138 00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:02,325 is it an appropriate reaction to the situation? 139 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:05,795 Drunks are so boring. 140 00:06:08,964 --> 00:06:10,465 My fresco! 141 00:06:10,532 --> 00:06:12,867 That's coming out of your stealings! 142 00:06:17,339 --> 00:06:20,874 Wayne, maybe it's the me being still alive talking, 143 00:06:20,942 --> 00:06:23,544 but I think you're awesome. 144 00:06:23,611 --> 00:06:27,180 I'm just a guy who saw what needed to be done and did it. 145 00:06:27,248 --> 00:06:30,683 Oh, speaking of which, let's get these eggs back in a jar. 146 00:06:44,258 --> 00:06:46,525 Wow, that's the farthest that one of my eggs 147 00:06:46,593 --> 00:06:48,260 ever made it down someone's throat. 148 00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,460 It's great to have a home-cooked meal. 149 00:06:54,528 --> 00:06:57,062 Well, if anyone saves my Homie's life, 150 00:06:57,129 --> 00:06:58,763 they get a free meal. 151 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,765 Which actually comes up about once a week. 152 00:07:01,832 --> 00:07:03,900 So, Wayne, how'd you learn 153 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,468 all those cool self-defense moves? 154 00:07:05,535 --> 00:07:06,568 I had training. 155 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:07,903 Special training. 156 00:07:07,971 --> 00:07:10,940 The kind they're not allowed to give anymore. 157 00:07:59,516 --> 00:08:00,782 Sorry. 158 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:01,882 I have to go. 159 00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:03,749 Oh, come on, stay for dessert! 160 00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:13,923 Hey, Simpson, you want to hear about the big change in my life? 161 00:08:13,991 --> 00:08:15,358 Sure, why not. 162 00:08:15,426 --> 00:08:17,994 I started drinking orange juice with pulp. 163 00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,030 I asked the Reverend, and he said it was okay. 164 00:08:20,097 --> 00:08:21,532 Then he hung right up on me. 165 00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:23,935 That man is cranky at 3:00 in the morning. 166 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,143 And here he is, this week's Noble Nobody. 167 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,009 What the... 168 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:34,211 A quiet, unassuming security guard 169 00:08:34,279 --> 00:08:36,346 who foiled a robbery at a local tavern, 170 00:08:36,414 --> 00:08:39,382 as seen in this Taiwanese animated dramatization. 171 00:09:07,673 --> 00:09:09,307 Please, sir, just let me do my job. 172 00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:10,708 Pish tush. 173 00:09:10,775 --> 00:09:13,476 Wayne, as a reward for your valiant fisticuffery, 174 00:09:13,544 --> 00:09:14,877 I hereby award you 175 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,379 the Springfield Nuclear Plant Silver Safety Hat. 176 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,691 Thanks to you, Wayne, 177 00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:31,258 we did not lose the visible half of the moon. 178 00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:32,626 Just doing my job, sir. 179 00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:33,727 All too well. 180 00:09:33,794 --> 00:09:35,228 I'm afraid that protocol demands 181 00:09:35,296 --> 00:09:36,996 that I totally erase your memory. 182 00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:51,576 Die, you fascist bastard! 183 00:09:51,644 --> 00:09:54,178 Mother, is that you? 184 00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:56,046 Wayne, stop! That's Mr. Burns! 185 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:00,484 Ooh. 186 00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:03,219 I expect insolence, but rank insolence? 187 00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:04,354 Off with his job! 188 00:10:05,590 --> 00:10:06,456 Damn it. 189 00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:09,291 Why don't you come stay with us 190 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,026 till you can get back on your feet? 191 00:10:11,094 --> 00:10:12,861 Really? Are you sure? 192 00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:13,962 Of course. 193 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,330 I mean, how long could it be? 194 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:16,831 I don't know. 195 00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:19,833 I've got no job, no references, can't afford my apartment. 196 00:10:19,901 --> 00:10:22,502 It's best to concentrate on what you do have. 197 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:25,270 I have reoccurring flashbacks to a nightmarish past. 198 00:10:25,338 --> 00:10:27,005 That's funny, because I have 199 00:10:27,073 --> 00:10:29,741 reoccurring flash-forwards to a nightmarish future. 200 00:10:32,177 --> 00:10:33,844 Unfair! Unfair! 201 00:10:33,912 --> 00:10:35,945 That robot took our jobs! 202 00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:38,880 He said it. 203 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,315 Or, uh, maybe it was him. 204 00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:44,986 Man, this robot really gets me. 205 00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:48,355 My nightmares are real. 206 00:10:48,423 --> 00:10:52,058 Your voice is so gravelly, just like Lauren Bacall's. 207 00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:01,438 If you don't listen to me, Senator, 208 00:11:01,439 --> 00:11:03,774 there's not going to be a Fourth of July! 209 00:11:03,842 --> 00:11:06,475 - Don't you get it? - He used the governor's eyeball 210 00:11:06,543 --> 00:11:08,209 for the retinal scan! 211 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,344 That's ten members of the electoral college 212 00:11:10,412 --> 00:11:11,879 dead in one day! 213 00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:13,680 If you don't give me those launch codes, 214 00:11:13,748 --> 00:11:15,915 you'll never be able to make the "okay" sign again. 215 00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:18,017 I know the map is inside your eyelids, 216 00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:20,853 and I will turn them inside out if I have to! 217 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,588 If you move that little top hat to St. James Place, 218 00:11:23,656 --> 00:11:25,323 we'll all be blown to kingdom come! 219 00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:27,458 Bring me every fish in that aquarium! 220 00:11:27,526 --> 00:11:29,460 One of them is lying! 221 00:11:30,763 --> 00:11:32,898 I'm sorry I have so many nightmares. 222 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:34,366 I've done unspeakable things, 223 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,435 from Buenos Aires to the Ukraine. 224 00:11:36,503 --> 00:11:38,204 Well, what brought you to Springfield? 225 00:11:38,271 --> 00:11:40,840 Was it our Frito-Lay distribution center? 226 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,542 I needed somewhere to lie low. 227 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:44,778 Your town appears on no maps or charts. 228 00:11:44,845 --> 00:11:47,047 Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo 229 00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:48,715 without me naked or urinating. 230 00:11:48,783 --> 00:11:50,984 And when there was a mapmaker's convention here, 231 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,687 they all got Lou Gehrig's disease. 232 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,389 Not the one you're thinking of-- 233 00:11:54,456 --> 00:11:56,124 there's another one. 234 00:11:56,192 --> 00:11:58,460 So, Lisa, if you press on Bart's elbow, 235 00:11:58,528 --> 00:11:59,761 here, Ow! 236 00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:01,529 he'll tell you anything you want to know. 237 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,830 I admit it! I let Milhouse 238 00:12:02,898 --> 00:12:04,265 lie down in your bed! 239 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,601 Kids, can I talk to Wayne alone a minute? 240 00:12:06,668 --> 00:12:09,868 Remember everything they say, and tell us later in rattle code. 241 00:12:09,936 --> 00:12:11,403 What do you mean, no? 242 00:12:12,739 --> 00:12:14,873 I don't know if you should teach our children 243 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:17,109 advanced interrogation techniques. 244 00:12:17,177 --> 00:12:18,076 I'm sorry, Marge. 245 00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,844 Sometimes I forget where I am. 246 00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:21,712 Apology accepted. 247 00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:25,049 Now, could you teach me a couple little driving tricks? 248 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:36,855 We'll see who gets their pick 249 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,556 of pizza pockets! 250 00:12:40,825 --> 00:12:42,592 Give us your lunch money! 251 00:12:45,961 --> 00:12:47,195 What gives, man? 252 00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:48,761 Where'd you learn that stuff? 253 00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,562 If I told you, I'd have to kill you. 254 00:12:50,630 --> 00:12:51,797 Can I tell you? 255 00:12:51,864 --> 00:12:53,632 No! I won't listen! 256 00:12:53,699 --> 00:12:56,334 We can't keep serving the same thing every day. 257 00:12:56,402 --> 00:12:59,037 These kids have mashed potatoes coming out of their ears. 258 00:13:00,305 --> 00:13:01,539 Point taken. 259 00:13:04,175 --> 00:13:06,509 Oh, my God. That song. 260 00:13:20,056 --> 00:13:23,624 I can't live in the real world anymore. 261 00:13:23,692 --> 00:13:25,292 This is the real world? 262 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,661 Hallelujah! I'm still alive! 263 00:13:27,729 --> 00:13:30,063 Ha-ha! And I'll appreciate every moment! 264 00:13:30,131 --> 00:13:33,267 Except the ones that aren't as good as they used to be. 265 00:13:33,335 --> 00:13:34,902 Which is all of them. 266 00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:36,737 Oh, someone kill me. 267 00:13:46,515 --> 00:13:48,883 Ah, junk, junk. 268 00:13:48,950 --> 00:13:52,916 Beyoncé confirms she will play at my daughter's sweet 16 party. 269 00:13:52,984 --> 00:13:55,149 Humorous YouTube sent by my brother. 270 00:13:55,217 --> 00:13:56,950 Mildly funny, at best. 271 00:13:57,017 --> 00:13:59,018 Eh, sometimes they are good for giggle. 272 00:13:59,086 --> 00:14:01,720 "Auto-tune disaster victim." 273 00:14:01,787 --> 00:14:03,755 ♪ Hiding in the basement ♪ 274 00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:05,356 ♪ Hiding in the basement ♪ 275 00:14:05,424 --> 00:14:07,424 ♪ And I'm, like, where's the cat? ♪ 276 00:14:07,492 --> 00:14:09,026 ♪ Where's, where's the cat? ♪ 277 00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:10,160 Hmm... 278 00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:12,029 "Crazy man attacks boss." 279 00:14:13,631 --> 00:14:15,933 It's him. 280 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,036 American agent who caused the death of everyone I loved! 281 00:14:19,103 --> 00:14:21,405 You want to give it zero stars? 282 00:14:21,473 --> 00:14:23,474 No! We will go to... 283 00:14:23,542 --> 00:14:25,310 Springfield, America, 284 00:14:25,377 --> 00:14:27,278 and kill this man. 285 00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:28,312 But first... 286 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:31,748 ♪ Here, kitty, kitty, kitty ♪ 287 00:14:31,816 --> 00:14:33,583 ♪ Here, kitty, kitty, kitty ♪ 288 00:14:33,650 --> 00:14:36,118 ♪ Oh, you're an angel now. ♪ 289 00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:38,253 ♪ Washing out the dog poo ♪ 290 00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:40,356 ♪ Sure beats picking it up ♪ 291 00:14:40,424 --> 00:14:42,325 ♪ Flanders' driveway ♪ 292 00:14:42,393 --> 00:14:43,694 ♪ Is my goal ♪ 293 00:14:46,797 --> 00:14:50,396 I am looking for a man named Wayne. 294 00:14:50,462 --> 00:14:52,595 Oh. He's gone. I don't know where he went. 295 00:14:52,696 --> 00:14:54,998 Are you friend of his? 296 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,566 He has no friends. 297 00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:01,870 Except me! 298 00:15:03,672 --> 00:15:07,076 I see you are tight like borscht and beets. 299 00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:10,912 Tell me, if we kidnapped a friend of Wayne's, 300 00:15:10,980 --> 00:15:13,682 would he attempt to rescue that friend? 301 00:15:13,749 --> 00:15:17,418 Well, I suppose if the friend was being horribly tortured... 302 00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:19,386 H-Hey, wha? Wha? Wha? 303 00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:23,157 No! Not the middle seat! 304 00:15:27,046 --> 00:15:29,796 a local man has been kidnapped 305 00:15:29,797 --> 00:15:31,464 by Ukrainian gangsters. 306 00:15:31,532 --> 00:15:32,865 We've received the following video. 307 00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:36,237 Death to America! 308 00:15:36,305 --> 00:15:38,374 Stick to script. Fine. 309 00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:41,713 I am being held somewhere in the Springfield area. 310 00:15:41,781 --> 00:15:42,981 Turn the card. 311 00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:44,615 Hold up today's newspaper. 312 00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:47,084 What will you guys use when there aren't newspapers anymore? 313 00:15:47,152 --> 00:15:49,470 Perhaps we will be living in a world where there'll 314 00:15:49,495 --> 00:15:50,795 be no need to kidnap. 315 00:15:50,855 --> 00:15:53,423 Oh, well, way to make me feel obsolete. 316 00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:56,659 Oh, look-- here's a coupon for scissors 317 00:15:56,727 --> 00:15:58,895 that you have to cut out! Thanks, geniuses! 318 00:15:58,962 --> 00:16:00,496 Shut up. 319 00:16:00,564 --> 00:16:02,531 Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing! 320 00:16:02,599 --> 00:16:04,866 Ow! Ow! Ow! 321 00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:07,168 This is no way to treat the talent. 322 00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:08,101 Shut up! 323 00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:09,068 Oh, God. 324 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,670 I know that voice. 325 00:16:22,979 --> 00:16:24,713 ♪ ♪ 326 00:16:26,982 --> 00:16:28,549 Viktor? 327 00:16:28,616 --> 00:16:31,285 Darling, I told you to stay in your room. 328 00:16:31,353 --> 00:16:33,690 I told you the bedspread smells funny. 329 00:16:39,063 --> 00:16:40,864 ♪ ♪ 330 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,700 Nyet...! 331 00:16:48,537 --> 00:16:50,504 Marge... 332 00:16:50,572 --> 00:16:52,105 I'll get your husband back. 333 00:16:52,173 --> 00:16:53,840 How are you going to find him? 334 00:16:53,907 --> 00:16:56,675 Homer is implanted with several highly powerful tracking chips. 335 00:16:56,743 --> 00:16:58,243 How did that happen? 336 00:16:58,311 --> 00:16:59,811 I left that out in a bowl and he ate them. 337 00:17:05,050 --> 00:17:07,018 I'd take a moment to enjoy those store names 338 00:17:07,085 --> 00:17:09,088 if I didn't have a job to do. 339 00:17:09,155 --> 00:17:12,156 ♪ ♪ 340 00:17:29,272 --> 00:17:31,106 Nyet...! 341 00:17:53,861 --> 00:17:56,296 Get out of here! 342 00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:57,396 Ow! 343 00:17:57,464 --> 00:17:59,964 Aah! I won a silver medal in Nagano-- 344 00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:02,099 ow!-- and now this! 345 00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:15,610 Oh... cold... 346 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,378 so cold... 347 00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:19,513 So, Wayne, 348 00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:22,216 once again you crash my party? 349 00:18:22,284 --> 00:18:24,418 So cold! Warm me up! 350 00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:25,752 Stop it! 351 00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:27,821 Just let me put my hands 352 00:18:27,888 --> 00:18:29,489 under your armpits. 353 00:18:33,328 --> 00:18:36,195 So much violence on the surface world. 354 00:18:36,263 --> 00:18:39,265 I'm going back. 355 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,867 Cold... so cold... 356 00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:46,771 Now you can see why I can't stay in one place. 357 00:18:46,839 --> 00:18:48,072 Not here, not anywhere. 358 00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:50,641 How about living on a train that's always moving? 359 00:18:50,708 --> 00:18:53,376 You ever eat on a train, Marge? What they call a steak 360 00:18:53,444 --> 00:18:55,044 is barely a hamburger. Now, Homer, 361 00:18:55,112 --> 00:18:57,446 there's one more thing before I go. 362 00:18:59,816 --> 00:19:00,882 Aw. 363 00:19:00,950 --> 00:19:03,651 That's what I call closure. 364 00:19:03,719 --> 00:19:05,252 Good-bye. 365 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,756 Yes, Maggie, we will have a use for you soon. 366 00:19:09,823 --> 00:19:11,791 Stay close to your busy box. 367 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,062 Wait! 368 00:19:17,129 --> 00:19:18,696 I know a place you can go! 369 00:19:18,764 --> 00:19:21,631 A place where a sadistic man with government experience 370 00:19:21,698 --> 00:19:23,432 can feel right at home. 371 00:19:26,902 --> 00:19:28,771 Sir, this is the wrong form. 372 00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:32,575 Can you hold my space while I go get the right one? 373 00:19:32,643 --> 00:19:34,977 Nobody held my space when I was in a North Korean prison 374 00:19:35,045 --> 00:19:37,078 being forced to write a musical about Kim Jung Il 375 00:19:37,145 --> 00:19:38,778 with a car battery hooked up to my nipples! 376 00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:41,314 Well... 377 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,017 ♪ ♪ 378 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,959 Pardon me, sir, 379 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,092 can you tell me where palace is? 380 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,261 What business do you have at the palace? 381 00:19:58,329 --> 00:20:01,464 Why, someday I'm going to be dear leader. 382 00:20:01,531 --> 00:20:03,232 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 383 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,836 You? You are too benevolent to be dear leader! 384 00:20:06,904 --> 00:20:09,705 Let's see what they think. 385 00:20:10,223 --> 00:20:13,874 ♪ "K" is Korea, just the north part ♪ 386 00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:17,877 ♪ "I" is for the Internet he bans ♪ 387 00:20:17,944 --> 00:20:21,847 ♪ "M" is for the millions that are missing ♪ 388 00:20:21,915 --> 00:20:25,951 ♪ "J" is for a human-tasting jam ♪ 389 00:20:26,019 --> 00:20:29,721 ♪ "O" is for oh, boy, we love our leader ♪ 390 00:20:29,789 --> 00:20:33,891 ♪ "N" is for the best Korea, North ♪ 391 00:20:33,959 --> 00:20:38,128 ♪ "G" is for gee whiz, we love our leader, mmm... ♪ 392 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:41,831 We just wanted to give you all a big thank you from Team Nedna. 393 00:20:41,899 --> 00:20:44,300 It's nice to know people still believe in love. 394 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,014 Now, wait just a minute-- 395 00:20:46,039 --> 00:20:47,837 how come I wasn't an option in this contest? 396 00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:49,205 Typical Seymour! 397 00:20:49,272 --> 00:20:51,174 Waits till the polls have closed 398 00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:53,476 before throwing his hat in the ring. 399 00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:57,979 you'll never give me a grandchild. 400 00:20:58,047 --> 00:20:59,380 Thank you. 401 00:20:59,448 --> 00:21:01,015 Oh... 402 00:21:01,082 --> 00:21:05,082 == sync, corrected by elderman == 403 00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:42,948 Shh! 404 00:21:42,949 --> 00:21:45,350 Shush me again, and I'll take your head clean off.