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*THE SIMPSONS*
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Season 31 Episode 05
Episode Title :"Gorillas on the Mast"
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HOMER:
Make way!
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(grunts)
D'oh!
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Get ready for fun,
kids.
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Fun that begins
with sunblock.
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(humming)
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Come on, Maggie.
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You don't want to grow up
to look like Grampa.
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Ugh, I can't enjoy seeing
animals treated like this.
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It must be horrible
spending every day
12
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trapped behind
a pane of glass.
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It ain't great.
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Sweetie,
if they're so unhappy,
15
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why are they wagging
their tails?
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That's how
fish swim.
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Well,
I say they're happy.
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Penguin funerals
at 12:00, 2:00 and 4:00.
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("Tailgate Ramble" playing)
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The killer whale is called
an apex predator
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because there's nothing
that can eat it.
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Nothing that can eat it, eh?
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[♪♪]
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Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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(laughs)
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Sync corrections by srjanapala
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No. No.
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This just got
weird.
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And now for our biggest star,
it's lunchtime.
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I need a small child
out here.
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You get on out there,
Hors D'oeuvre.
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(cheering)
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(all gasping)
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No worries, folks.
I lost my arm years ago.
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(laughter)
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Can we please
go home?
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This "fun" place
is about to make me cry.
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Homer, why don't you take Maggie
for a stroll
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and we'll check out
that mermaid over there.
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Oh,
that tail is so fake.
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(laughter)
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Smithers,
can we splash the people
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- dining at that fine restaurant?
- As you wish, sir.
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(screaming)
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I love Sunday fun.
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Mm...
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You know, sweetie,
I always wanted a boat,
48
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but my dad could
never afford one.
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♪ Sitting on the dock
of the bay ♪
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♪ Missing all my school today ♪
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♪ Getting dumb... ♪
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(whistling)
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Knock off that whistling.
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Men have good times
in silence.
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Daddy,
will we ever get a boat?
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Are you kidding?
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We couldn't even
afford worms.
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Oh...
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- (sniffling)
- Aw, don't cry.
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Have some Scottish
feel-good juice.
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Okay.
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- (grunts, coughs)
- Come on. Drink up.
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- (whimpers)
- (chuckles)
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By the standards of the day,
I'm a great father.
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Mm...
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Nice boat, huh?
I sell boats.
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Wish you could have one?
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Yeah,
but I'll never own a boat.
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It's just a dream,
like doing a sit-up.
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(chuckles)
Don't be so sure.
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I don't know what you do
for a living, but me?
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I'm in the dream business.
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I thought you sold boats.
Make up your mind, liar.
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(laughs) Now I could get
in big trouble for doing this,
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but if you buy this boat now
for the listed price,
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I'll throw in
this genuine captain's hat.
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Don't tell my manager.
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What do you think I am,
an idiot?
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This hat isn't even
adjustable.
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- It's one-size-fits-all.
- Deal.
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Wha... No, wait,
my wife will kill me.
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You think your wife's
gonna kill you
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when she's sipping margaritas
as the sun sets,
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her hair blowing softly
in the ocean breeze?
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Her hair doesn't blow.
It kind of clangs.
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Look, ask any financial planner
and they'll tell you
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that getting a boat
is a better investment
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than getting a divorce
or opening a bookstore.
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One more thing
and I'm convinced.
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I'll give you this little pin
from a defunct yacht club.
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Sold.
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Hey, uh, what's this little
hook thing on it?
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That's an anchor.
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You're gonna be
a fine yachtsman.
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(moans)
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(gasps) Oh, my God,
your dorsal fin has collapsed.
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Don't you see? She doesn't have
enough space to swim.
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That thing is huge.
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This park is cruel
and inhumane.
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Empty the tanks.
Pull the plug!
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I'll be back.
You can't silence me.
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I... aw. So cute.
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(sighs) Thrown out
of another amusement park.
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- Take me with you.
- Not enough seat belts.
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♪ What do you do
with a drunken salesman? ♪
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♪ He goes home to his wife. ♪
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Finally moved
that old cabin cruiser.
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No one spots a sucker like you.
109
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Let me guess:
overweight guy, midlife crisis?
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Mm. The kind of fat
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where you don't even know
how old they are.
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- How was your day?
- Beautiful.
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Sold a Jacuzzi to someone
who came in to use the phone.
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Did you gouge him
on the dipping attachment?
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Wholesale plus three grand.
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Ooh.
You get over here.
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(chuckles)
Make me an offer.
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(both laugh)
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Smooth.
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Bart, I need your help...
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(groaning):
Go away.
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- ...with a prank.
- Oh, what do you need?
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Hot sauce?
Cow heart? Fire ants?
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Oh. They're gone.
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How could fire ants
get out of a paper bag?
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Thank you, Lord, for these
fire ants entering my nose,
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biting my brain,
testing my faith.
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But I will...
(shouts)
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Damn it, where's the spray?
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Thanks for helping us
free that whale, Willie.
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Aye. Now, to put on
me camouflage.
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Man, you really know
this place.
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I work here
in the summer.
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Unlike you children,
the fish don't make fun of me.
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(squeaking)
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Just 'cause
you're cuter than me
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don't mean
you're better than me.
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You're not even a fish!
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(squeaking)
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Unless I miss me guess, these
are the orca tank controls.
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(whispers):
This guy's good.
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We'll open
the seawater gate
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and she'll go straight
in the ocean.
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(grunting)
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Uh, I believe it's lefty loosey.
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Everything in this country
is backwards and wrong.
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[♪♪]
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Thank God. A way off the ship.
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We did it.
We set a captive animal free.
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Pretty cool, huh, Bart?
151
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Look how happy
that thing is.
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Lis, this is a new feeling.
153
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We helped a whale be free
and now I feel wonderful.
154
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What you're searching for
is "altruism."
155
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- (grunts)
- Ow.
156
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And that's called karma.
157
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Are you happy, Willie?
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I'll show you.
Air bagpipes.
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(imitating bagpipe)
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Okay, I'm gonna take
the blindfold off.
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Don't ask questions.
Don't probe for answers.
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I'll just pretend
I don't know we're on a dock
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next to the water.
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Look where we are.
A dock next to the water.
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Aw.
You got a boat for the day.
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Did you bring beer
and sandwiches?
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Why don't you open that?
168
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Hey, Midge, got your beer
and sandwiches right here.
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[♪♪]
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Come on, Maggie, get on Daddy's
wap and take the wheel.
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That's right, maximum thwottle.
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(motor revs)
173
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Vroom, vroom.
Maximum thwottle.
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00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:06,519
Ooh, you're hydwopwaning.
Yes, you are.
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Whoo-hoo!
176
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Whoo-hoo!
177
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88 years old
and never learned to swim.
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[♪♪]
179
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What a wonderful day,
Homie.
180
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It's like we're living
in the painting over our couch.
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HOMER: Our marriage
has never been better.
182
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Time to risk it all.
183
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Okay, guess whose boat this is.
184
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I hope it's not Johnny Depp's.
185
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He's already in
so much financial trouble.
186
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Brace yourself, baby.
It's ours.
187
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(gasps)
You bought this boat?
188
00:08:43,955 --> 00:08:46,004
No.
We bought this boat.
189
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,746
You just weren't aware.
190
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,731
(grunts, exhales)
191
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,978
- You know what? It's okay.
- Are you nuts?
192
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You went out and got something
the whole family could enjoy.
193
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- Let's live a little.
- Oh, my God, Marge.
194
00:08:58,754 --> 00:08:59,978
What's happened to you?
195
00:09:00,066 --> 00:09:02,095
I admit it.
You've worn me down.
196
00:09:02,215 --> 00:09:04,707
You're my little
polished gem.
197
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,887
Aw. Mwah.
198
00:09:08,899 --> 00:09:11,590
(chuckles)
What do you think, Dad?
199
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:15,145
(crying): Oh, you did it, son.
You actually did it.
200
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,963
You found a parking spot
at the marina.
201
00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:22,843
- Oh, I never...
- No, Dad. I got a boat.
202
00:09:22,931 --> 00:09:26,502
- Get on.
- Oh, sure. I... Wait a minute.
203
00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:28,965
You're gonna kill me
and dump me overboard.
204
00:09:29,053 --> 00:09:30,992
Well, fine.
Here's my will.
205
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:33,090
HOMER:
Oh, come on now,
206
00:09:33,178 --> 00:09:34,386
I'm not gonna kill you.
207
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:36,170
That's 'cause
you're a lazy bum.
208
00:09:36,258 --> 00:09:38,029
Now, come on,
give me a hug.
209
00:09:38,117 --> 00:09:39,342
- Ooh.
- Aw.
210
00:09:41,473 --> 00:09:43,131
(motor clattering, backfiring)
211
00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:47,455
- Nice boat.
- I'm the owner.
212
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,246
Very nice. I must tell you,
she's running a little rough.
213
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:52,983
(laughs)
Aren't we all?
214
00:09:53,071 --> 00:09:54,483
(chuckles)
Good one.
215
00:09:54,576 --> 00:09:56,066
Listen, uh,
I'm a mechanic,
216
00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:58,295
and I think
you're going to need my help.
217
00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:01,309
Your boat is used,
and it needs repairs now.
218
00:10:01,397 --> 00:10:02,379
Why now?
219
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,709
- It's sinking.
- (shrieks)
220
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,638
So, Milhouse, it turns out
I'm addicted to altruism.
221
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:10,363
I'm not gonna be happy
till I set another animal free.
222
00:10:10,459 --> 00:10:14,018
If I wanted to hang out with
Lisa, I'd hang out with Lisa.
223
00:10:14,105 --> 00:10:15,545
No, you wouldn't.
224
00:10:15,772 --> 00:10:17,233
Now I can't free
another fish
225
00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:19,506
because they've increased
security at the water park.
226
00:10:19,594 --> 00:10:22,020
This is great.
I got a flashlight,
227
00:10:22,108 --> 00:10:24,631
walkie-talkie,
big old ring of keys.
228
00:10:24,719 --> 00:10:27,709
But I found something else
we can set free.
229
00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:30,175
NARRATOR:
Meet LoLo the gorilla.
230
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,928
Powerful, intelligent.
231
00:10:32,016 --> 00:10:34,186
She can sign five words.
232
00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:36,690
"Friend," "enemy," "kill,"
233
00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:39,084
"vodka" and "Seinfeld."
234
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,693
You know she wants out.
235
00:10:40,863 --> 00:10:43,451
Now for security,
I'll say the rest in Pig Latin.
236
00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:45,805
Ee-way, ill-way, oh-gay, oh-tay,
ee-thay, oo-zay.
237
00:10:45,939 --> 00:10:47,527
We're going on eBay?
238
00:10:47,615 --> 00:10:50,128
Ay-yay arumba-cay.
239
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,912
(phone rings)
240
00:10:52,178 --> 00:10:54,207
- Yello.
- Are you sitting down?
241
00:10:54,294 --> 00:10:55,397
Of course.
242
00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:57,584
Fixed your boat.
Here's the total.
243
00:10:57,682 --> 00:10:59,390
Don't say I didn't warn you.
244
00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:03,693
There is one hope:
share your expenses.
245
00:11:03,781 --> 00:11:05,887
Pull your friends
into the black hole with you.
246
00:11:05,975 --> 00:11:08,740
Yes, sir. You're supposed to
disappear now.
247
00:11:08,828 --> 00:11:10,920
Yeah, I will,
but that's another hundred.
248
00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:12,132
D'oh!
249
00:11:14,981 --> 00:11:16,662
(sighs)
250
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,623
- Hey, Homer.
- What's the problem?
251
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:23,483
(sighs) I feel terrible,
just terrible.
252
00:11:23,674 --> 00:11:24,928
Oh, yeah?
Why's that?
253
00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:26,239
Because I have been
withholding
254
00:11:26,327 --> 00:11:29,772
an incredible opportunity
from you guys.
255
00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:31,772
My apologies.
Got to go.
256
00:11:32,043 --> 00:11:34,311
Did I hear,
"Wait, wait"?
257
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,662
- No.
- We're good.
258
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:40,085
Okay, 'cause it's
really, really incredible.
259
00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:43,178
See you. Leaving now.
On my way.
260
00:11:43,277 --> 00:11:45,693
Last chance.
Buh-bye.
261
00:11:46,154 --> 00:11:49,197
Eh? Eh?
262
00:11:51,225 --> 00:11:52,725
Eh?
263
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:54,765
(phone rings)
264
00:11:54,853 --> 00:11:55,984
Yello.
265
00:11:56,072 --> 00:11:58,288
Okay, I'll bite.
What's the opportunity?
266
00:11:58,376 --> 00:11:59,443
I don't know, Lenny.
267
00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:02,331
I mean, I need someone
with genuine enthusiasm.
268
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,822
- Understood. Have a good ni...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
269
00:12:04,909 --> 00:12:06,155
Do you want to go in
on a boat with me?
270
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:07,806
We share expenses,
we split the time.
271
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,502
If you agree,
continue breathing normally.
272
00:12:09,589 --> 00:12:10,628
I don't know.
273
00:12:10,716 --> 00:12:12,972
I heard that sharing boats
can ruin friendships.
274
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,854
Well, somebody better tell Carl
'cause he is in.
275
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:18,006
Wait, I don't want
to be left out. I'm in!
276
00:12:18,094 --> 00:12:20,694
(chuckles) Glad to hear it.
Could you put Carl on?
277
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:21,972
(chuckles)
278
00:12:25,218 --> 00:12:27,102
We brought
our old college stereo.
279
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,510
Let's let everyone
in the water know
280
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,862
some big shots
are having a wild time.
281
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:34,242
♪ I love to work
at nothing all day ♪
282
00:12:34,436 --> 00:12:37,018
♪ And I'll be taking care
of business ♪
283
00:12:37,105 --> 00:12:38,996
♪ Every day ♪
284
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:40,530
(muffled):
♪ Taking care of business ♪
285
00:12:40,617 --> 00:12:42,074
♪ Every way... ♪
286
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:46,003
Yeah, those fish are hearing
some awesome B.T.O. right now.
287
00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:48,208
Why don't you take
the throttle, dear.
288
00:12:49,051 --> 00:12:49,983
(motor revs)
289
00:12:50,094 --> 00:12:53,463
Oh, I feel it!
I feel the power.
290
00:12:53,551 --> 00:12:56,083
You know, I thought we were
just dating casually.
291
00:12:56,192 --> 00:13:00,258
It wasn't going anywhere.
But now, will you marry me?
292
00:13:00,345 --> 00:13:03,653
(stammers) I, uh...
This is not a no!
293
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,040
♪ Taking care of business ♪
294
00:13:07,135 --> 00:13:08,192
♪ Every day. ♪
295
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,516
(elephant trumpets)
296
00:13:11,512 --> 00:13:13,044
Okay, I've got it.
297
00:13:13,132 --> 00:13:16,340
What she doesn't know is there's
an overgrown vine behind her
298
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:18,653
where she can climb up
to freedom.
299
00:13:18,872 --> 00:13:22,446
One of us has to get in there
and show her how to do it,
300
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,708
but which one?
301
00:13:24,902 --> 00:13:28,120
Uh, did I ever mention that
I'm allergic to gorilla fur?
302
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,790
Dang! The one thing
I'm not allergic to.
303
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:35,005
You know, this time I really
thought Bart was gonna do it.
304
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,784
- I'll do it next time.
- I know you will, buddy.
305
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,558
- (LoLo roars)
- Ah! Oh!
306
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:43,437
(panting)
307
00:13:45,674 --> 00:13:47,231
(Milhouse whimpers)
308
00:13:47,318 --> 00:13:49,276
[♪♪]
309
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:53,629
(roaring)
310
00:14:06,014 --> 00:14:07,762
We got a problem.
311
00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:09,931
Two problems.
312
00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:13,884
So this is what it's like
to be in a loving family.
313
00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:21,269
[♪♪]
314
00:14:23,714 --> 00:14:25,037
(buzzing)
315
00:14:25,142 --> 00:14:27,921
- (phone buzzing)
- (groans)
316
00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:29,106
Hello?
317
00:14:29,193 --> 00:14:31,024
Lis, altruism sucks.
318
00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:32,329
You idiot.
319
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:35,679
You set a fish free because
it has an ocean to swim in.
320
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,304
If you set a gorilla free,
321
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:40,515
it goes into the city
and it gets killed.
322
00:14:41,258 --> 00:14:42,598
"The Great Esc-Ape"?
323
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,624
A gorilla mysteriously freed
from the Springfield Zoo
324
00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,815
is wreaking havoc
all over town.
325
00:14:47,902 --> 00:14:49,960
The police, as always,
are useless.
326
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,871
WIGGUM: Not true, Kent.
We've located the gorilla.
327
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,591
He's on the top of a store
next to a sign reading,
328
00:14:55,679 --> 00:14:58,084
"You'll Go Ape
For Our Bargains."
329
00:14:58,335 --> 00:15:00,020
Uh, yeah, I think that's
a balloon, Chief.
330
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,116
Prove it.
331
00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:03,215
- (air hissing)
- Happy, Lou?
332
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,808
You just shot a balloon.
333
00:15:05,444 --> 00:15:07,126
I love boat ownership.
334
00:15:07,213 --> 00:15:09,983
Spending every weekend
polishing brass.
335
00:15:10,071 --> 00:15:11,437
I feel like Larry Ellison.
336
00:15:11,735 --> 00:15:14,374
I had the espresso maker
mounted on gimbals,
337
00:15:14,462 --> 00:15:17,325
so when the big waves hit,
they won't ruin the foam art
338
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:18,937
on our cappuccino.
339
00:15:21,391 --> 00:15:24,114
Foam Lenny,
you're my hero.
340
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:26,483
Hey, who are all these people?
341
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:29,303
I, uh, may have sold
some extra shares,
342
00:15:29,391 --> 00:15:31,991
so I'm afraid
these are all co-owners.
343
00:15:32,116 --> 00:15:35,140
Co-owner I be, says me.
Yarr.
344
00:15:35,336 --> 00:15:38,405
Duffman wants to impress
his new stepkids.
345
00:15:38,596 --> 00:15:39,812
What do you think,
Kyle?
346
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,858
My father died
from drinking your product.
347
00:15:42,954 --> 00:15:46,022
We have a lot to work on.
Oh, yeah!
348
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:49,427
All these people are co-owners?
Even Cat Lady?
349
00:15:49,514 --> 00:15:52,005
Now she's Catamaran Lady.
350
00:15:52,171 --> 00:15:54,638
- (loud music playing)
- (overlapping chatter)
351
00:15:54,726 --> 00:15:56,509
There's too many people,
I can't move.
352
00:15:56,596 --> 00:15:58,187
Okay, cast off.
353
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:06,427
Hey, my cappuccino head.
354
00:16:06,568 --> 00:16:09,628
Well, at least I can swim
to shore. (panting)
355
00:16:09,996 --> 00:16:12,306
Eh, eh, this is,
this is too hard.
356
00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:15,605
Hey! Hey, I can stand!
357
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,550
Eh, no, it's just too hard.
358
00:16:24,308 --> 00:16:25,893
Perhaps music
will calm her down.
359
00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:28,897
♪ One, eight, seven, seven,
cars for kids. ♪
360
00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:32,147
(roaring)
361
00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:34,727
Ah! My screenplay!
362
00:16:34,843 --> 00:16:36,570
LoLo. LoLo!
363
00:16:36,658 --> 00:16:37,981
"Friend." "Friend."
364
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:39,547
(roars)
365
00:16:39,635 --> 00:16:42,476
Oh, no, I accidentally
signed "fiend."
366
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:46,987
- Look, I'll help you find safety.
- (sniffing)
367
00:16:47,075 --> 00:16:50,430
I just have to convince you
I'm your friend. How?
368
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,768
How?
369
00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:56,936
(Seinfeld theme music playing)
370
00:16:57,157 --> 00:16:59,256
(gasps) Seinfeld.
371
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:02,219
- (roars)
- Newman.
372
00:17:04,497 --> 00:17:07,263
If this was just
a little bit looser,
373
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:11,009
it would be the best thing
in the world. (chuckles)
374
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,752
(sighs)
375
00:17:13,169 --> 00:17:15,797
Sir, I would like
to return my boat
376
00:17:15,884 --> 00:17:17,924
for a full refund.
377
00:17:18,011 --> 00:17:20,112
Oh, I'm sorry.
Perhaps James Cameron
378
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,607
would take an interest
in your sunken ship,
379
00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,535
but my responsibility
ended at ka-ching.
380
00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:26,568
You sold me a lemon.
381
00:17:26,656 --> 00:17:29,262
Mm-hmm, people like lemons.
They're good for your voice.
382
00:17:29,397 --> 00:17:32,508
With your smooth talk, you could
convince anyone of anything.
383
00:17:32,596 --> 00:17:35,253
You like my lapels?
You want to buy the jacket?
384
00:17:35,528 --> 00:17:38,274
- Yes.
- (chuckles) 50 bucks.
385
00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:40,633
(laughs)
Now if you'll excuse me,
386
00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:41,927
I'm also in another business:
387
00:17:42,015 --> 00:17:43,688
smuggling meth
inside bicycle tires.
388
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,696
Thanks for the free bike.
389
00:17:45,784 --> 00:17:47,790
Just get it to Mexico
by tomorrow.
390
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,622
Ba-ja!
391
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:51,649
MARGE:
Lisa, what are you doing?
392
00:17:51,855 --> 00:17:54,420
Um, I'm in my bedroom with Dad.
393
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:57,183
- Oh, that's sweet.
- (bottle shatters)
394
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,993
- FLANDERS: Watch it!
- Oh.
395
00:17:59,081 --> 00:18:02,469
Homie, I told you
to stop doing that.
396
00:18:04,810 --> 00:18:06,109
Y'all bring your gorilla here.
397
00:18:06,242 --> 00:18:07,939
We'll teach him
to ride and shoot,
398
00:18:08,027 --> 00:18:09,918
and soon it'll be
a Planet of the Apes.
399
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,235
Whoops.
400
00:18:11,415 --> 00:18:12,477
No.
401
00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:14,999
Here at U.T.A.,
United Talented Apes,
402
00:18:15,087 --> 00:18:16,407
we'll shave your gorilla
403
00:18:16,524 --> 00:18:18,813
and make him a body double
for Bruce Willis,
404
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:20,751
and if he behaves
even a little,
405
00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:22,921
he could become Bruce Willis.
406
00:18:23,093 --> 00:18:26,084
Next.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
407
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,972
You're perfect.
Will you take my ape?
408
00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:34,171
Dr. Goodall, I can't thank you
enough for saving LoLo.
409
00:18:34,259 --> 00:18:37,102
LoLo. That's what they
called her in captivity,
410
00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:38,977
but I've given her a new name,
411
00:18:39,065 --> 00:18:42,938
one worthy of such
a magnificent creature: PoPo.
412
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,368
And may I just tell you,
you've always been my hero.
413
00:18:46,691 --> 00:18:48,681
Thank you.
But I wonder,
414
00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:52,298
how many female scientists
have you told they're your hero?
415
00:18:52,438 --> 00:18:55,396
In your field?
Um, only three.
416
00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:59,192
Oh, well. Good enough.
We'll take fine care of PoPo.
417
00:18:59,279 --> 00:19:01,374
- See you soon.
- Wait. Come back.
418
00:19:01,462 --> 00:19:04,214
Take me with you. I want a life
exactly like yours.
419
00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:08,436
Well, so do hundreds of others,
but still, you might get lucky
420
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,399
if you work really hard
and get a doctorate.
421
00:19:11,487 --> 00:19:12,883
Would you give me a scholarship?
422
00:19:13,051 --> 00:19:15,946
No, you'd have to save up,
like I did.
423
00:19:16,034 --> 00:19:17,876
Then there's a slight chance
you'll have me?
424
00:19:17,964 --> 00:19:20,860
Well, very slight,
but don't give up.
425
00:19:20,948 --> 00:19:24,048
That is the most encouraging
thing I have ever heard.
426
00:19:24,136 --> 00:19:26,459
Lis, thanks for undoing
the damage of my good deed.
427
00:19:26,547 --> 00:19:28,641
I'm glad you've
come to understand
428
00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:30,626
the importance of altruism.
429
00:19:30,714 --> 00:19:32,504
Altruism rocks!
430
00:19:32,592 --> 00:19:35,227
Like when you let something go
and it smashes everything.
431
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:37,246
Next, I want to
altruism a rhino.
432
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:40,493
Then I'm gonna altruism a robot
with sledgehammers for hands.
433
00:19:40,581 --> 00:19:42,587
Sometimes I just want
to sit back
434
00:19:42,727 --> 00:19:45,649
and watch the whole world
altruism.
435
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:49,569
Look, the gorillas
have picked up some new habits
436
00:19:49,657 --> 00:19:50,923
from your father.
437
00:19:54,446 --> 00:19:57,100
Yeah, but Homer picked up
some cool gorilla moves, too.
438
00:19:57,187 --> 00:19:59,269
(grunting)
439
00:19:59,363 --> 00:20:00,688
Oh...
440
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,047
Well, I never.
441
00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:09,023
(angry chatter)
442
00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:11,055
Okay, okay,
I know you're mad,
443
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,962
but because there are
so many of us,
444
00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:14,982
we each just lost a little.
445
00:20:15,070 --> 00:20:17,787
And I just want to say,
for the rest of your life,
446
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:21,100
you'll know that you're just as
good as someone who owns a boat
447
00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:24,263
because you owned a boat
for five minutes.
448
00:20:24,351 --> 00:20:27,813
Well, you did give us something
for our money: great memories.
449
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,524
And look what someone in Japan
sent back to me.
450
00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:32,477
Three cheers for Homer.
451
00:20:32,572 --> 00:20:35,727
ALL: Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!
452
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:37,592
Hip, hip, hooray!
453
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,458
ANNOUNCER: Foam Lenny on Fox!
454
00:20:39,545 --> 00:20:43,352
Fridays at 8:00,
because we've got nothing else.
455
00:20:43,732 --> 00:20:46,292
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
456
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:49,016
Sync corrections by srjanapala
457
00:21:29,942 --> 00:21:31,614
Shh!