1 00:00:07,555 --> 00:00:09,890 D'oh! 2 00:00:11,582 --> 00:00:15,582 ♪ The Simpsons 26x13 ♪ Walking Big & Tall Original Air Date on February 8, 2015 3 00:00:20,268 --> 00:00:21,902 Woo-hoo! 4 00:00:23,772 --> 00:00:25,439 D'oh! 5 00:00:25,463 --> 00:00:31,963 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 6 00:00:38,186 --> 00:00:41,388 And I regret to inform you that our Soviet sister city, 7 00:00:41,423 --> 00:00:44,758 Springograd, has disappeared from the map. 8 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:48,562 Now, I'd like to welcome our beloved four-time mayor, 9 00:00:48,596 --> 00:00:50,064 Hans Moleman! 10 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,235 Springfielders, rejoice. 11 00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:58,338 What is the one thing our blessed little town has lacked? 12 00:00:58,373 --> 00:00:59,773 A human zoo? 13 00:00:59,808 --> 00:01:01,909 What we lack is a town anthem. 14 00:01:01,943 --> 00:01:04,311 And you're in luck, because I have written one. 15 00:01:04,345 --> 00:01:06,113 Mr. Largo, if you please. 16 00:01:06,147 --> 00:01:07,381 Mm-hmm. 17 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,283 ♪ ♪ 18 00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:11,118 ♪ There's a special little place ♪ 19 00:01:11,152 --> 00:01:13,253 ♪ A special smile on every face ♪ 20 00:01:13,288 --> 00:01:16,723 ♪ A town called Springfield ♪ 21 00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:19,159 ♪ Special buildings, special sky ♪ 22 00:01:19,194 --> 00:01:21,128 ♪ A unique place to live and die ♪ 23 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:25,265 ♪ Only Springfield ♪ 24 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:29,470 ♪ Of all the cities on the mappy ♪ 25 00:01:29,504 --> 00:01:33,407 ♪ You're the one that makes me happy ♪ 26 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:37,611 ♪ Only Springfield, only Springfield... ♪ 27 00:01:37,645 --> 00:01:39,346 Stop the anthem! 28 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:41,014 What is it, Moe? 29 00:01:41,049 --> 00:01:43,851 I was in Tuscaloosa on vacation. 30 00:01:43,885 --> 00:01:45,219 Started out great. 31 00:01:45,253 --> 00:01:48,021 They got a joint there called Moe's Original Barbeque. 32 00:01:48,056 --> 00:01:49,990 But then I heard their city anthem! 33 00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:51,425 Give a listen! 34 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:55,295 ♪ Of all the cities on the mappy ♪ 35 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:59,366 ♪ You're the one that makes me happy ♪ 36 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:05,005 ♪ Only Tuscaloosa, only Tuscaloosa. ♪ 37 00:02:05,039 --> 00:02:06,273 That's our song. 38 00:02:06,307 --> 00:02:08,742 They just changed "Springfield" to "Tuscaloosa." 39 00:02:13,214 --> 00:02:15,349 Guns are for celebrating. 40 00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:17,551 What do you do with them when you're angry? 41 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:19,319 Now, calm down. 42 00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:23,390 This could just be an amazing musical coincidence. 43 00:02:23,424 --> 00:02:28,028 There ain't no coincidences in popular songs, bony. 44 00:02:28,062 --> 00:02:30,030 ♪ Only Austin... ♪ 45 00:02:30,064 --> 00:02:31,999 ♪ Only Oakland... ♪ 46 00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:34,001 ♪ Only Calgary... ♪ 47 00:02:34,035 --> 00:02:36,003 ♪ Only Provo... ♪ 48 00:02:38,072 --> 00:02:39,706 ♪ Area 51... ♪ 49 00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:44,178 We've been singing this song like it only belonged to us, 50 00:02:44,212 --> 00:02:47,181 when every city in America's had its lips on it! 51 00:02:47,215 --> 00:02:50,150 Even Des Moines. 52 00:02:50,185 --> 00:02:51,852 Wait a minute. 53 00:02:51,886 --> 00:02:55,822 This song was supposedly written by former Mayor Moleman! 54 00:02:57,859 --> 00:02:59,860 Oh, I didn't write it. 55 00:02:59,894 --> 00:03:01,528 I bought it from a salesman 56 00:03:01,563 --> 00:03:04,965 who was selling it to half the towns in America. 57 00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:07,334 I didn't think you'd find out, 58 00:03:07,368 --> 00:03:11,638 because I never thought any of us would ever go anywhere. 59 00:03:11,673 --> 00:03:14,508 Well, then what do I do with this?! 60 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:18,045 Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery! 61 00:03:18,079 --> 00:03:20,380 Please be merciful. 62 00:03:20,415 --> 00:03:21,548 Hyah! 63 00:03:22,517 --> 00:03:23,850 Boy, sure is nice 64 00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:26,453 not to be the one on the horse for a change. 65 00:03:26,487 --> 00:03:29,456 As mayor, I balanced the budget eight times! 66 00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:31,358 I still believe in this town-- 67 00:03:31,392 --> 00:03:34,127 a town that deserves its own original song. 68 00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:37,364 And as an aspiring musician with off-Broadway dreams, 69 00:03:37,398 --> 00:03:38,865 I'm the one to write it. 70 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,067 So ordered. 71 00:03:40,101 --> 00:03:41,201 I'll write that song. 72 00:03:41,236 --> 00:03:42,903 Pharrell Williams?! 73 00:03:42,937 --> 00:03:44,304 I'm sorry, everyone, 74 00:03:44,339 --> 00:03:46,306 but the eight-year-old girl got there first. 75 00:03:46,341 --> 00:03:47,975 I understand. 76 00:03:48,009 --> 00:03:50,644 ♪ It might seem crazy what I'm about to say ♪ 77 00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:53,814 ♪ Sunshine, she's here, you can take a break... ♪ 78 00:03:53,848 --> 00:03:55,749 Hyah! 79 00:03:55,783 --> 00:03:57,351 Shelbyville rules! 80 00:03:57,385 --> 00:04:00,821 Springfield drools...! 81 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,258 Let's see. 82 00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:05,792 What rhymes with "Jebediah"? 83 00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:07,427 "Tire fire"? 84 00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:09,796 How about "Patty and Selma"? "Fatty and smell ya." 85 00:04:09,831 --> 00:04:11,431 "Mr. Teeny"? "Sister wienie." 86 00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:13,267 You've got a gift! 87 00:04:13,301 --> 00:04:14,768 Well, don't be so surprised. 88 00:04:14,802 --> 00:04:16,803 I did write that "Lisa, It's Your Birthday" song. 89 00:04:16,838 --> 00:04:18,305 Yeah, with that mental patient 90 00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:20,040 who thought he was Michael Jackson. 91 00:04:20,074 --> 00:04:22,943 Whoa. Thinking back, I'm kind of surprised 92 00:04:22,977 --> 00:04:26,346 Mom and Dad let a crazy man spend all night in my bedroom. 93 00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,315 Simpler time. 94 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:31,718 Bart, I need your help to write a new anthem for Springfield. 95 00:04:31,753 --> 00:04:33,320 Will you team up with me? 96 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:35,389 Hmm. What's in it for me? 97 00:04:35,423 --> 00:04:37,457 Uh, I'll make brownies later. 98 00:04:37,492 --> 00:04:40,193 Whoa, that is the best deal any songwriter ever got. 99 00:04:40,228 --> 00:04:42,029 And that's true even if I don't get the brownies. 100 00:04:42,063 --> 00:04:43,463 I'm in! 101 00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:45,966 I think we might just make a good team, 102 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,068 like Maggie and Grampa. 103 00:04:48,102 --> 00:04:50,103 ♪ ♪ 104 00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:09,256 What are you doing? 105 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,158 What's it look like? Writing a song. 106 00:05:11,192 --> 00:05:12,793 Artists. 107 00:05:14,329 --> 00:05:16,096 ♪ ♪ 108 00:05:20,768 --> 00:05:23,503 We did it! We wrote an awesome song! 109 00:05:23,538 --> 00:05:25,439 We make a great brother and sister team, 110 00:05:25,473 --> 00:05:27,174 like Andy and Lana Wachowski. 111 00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:28,542 Should we hug? 112 00:05:28,576 --> 00:05:30,577 Mm, how about a fist bump through a towel? 113 00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:32,612 That works. 114 00:05:38,553 --> 00:05:40,087 I saved us seats. 115 00:05:40,121 --> 00:05:42,122 Oh, thank you, Homie. 116 00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:46,026 Thank you, roll of masking tape. 117 00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,330 Uh, gonna be a tight fit. 118 00:05:58,172 --> 00:06:01,842 ♪ Springfield's the only home that we've got ♪ 119 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:05,212 ♪ But to be frank, there's not a lot ♪ 120 00:06:05,246 --> 00:06:08,515 ♪ To recommend it ♪ 121 00:06:08,549 --> 00:06:13,120 ♪ We've got a big sinkhole ♪ 122 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:17,557 ♪ And they shut down the think hole ♪ 123 00:06:17,592 --> 00:06:20,360 ♪ Hashtag: SpringfieldPride ♪ 124 00:06:20,395 --> 00:06:23,130 ♪ Has never ever trended... ♪ 125 00:06:23,164 --> 00:06:24,898 This is not boosterism! 126 00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:26,433 Warm up the horse. 127 00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:30,604 ♪ But when you think of the things we lack ♪ 128 00:06:30,638 --> 00:06:34,408 ♪ 'Stead of the stuff we've got ♪ 129 00:06:34,442 --> 00:06:37,244 ♪ Why Springfield? ♪ 130 00:06:37,278 --> 00:06:40,647 ♪ Why not? ♪ 131 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:45,552 ♪ We've only had a hurricane once ♪ 132 00:06:45,586 --> 00:06:49,289 ♪ We haven't had a circus fire in months ♪ 133 00:06:49,323 --> 00:06:52,125 ♪ Springfield ♪ 134 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,797 ♪ Why not? ♪ 135 00:06:56,831 --> 00:07:00,567 ♪ Ooh, we're just off the interstate ♪ 136 00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:04,504 ♪ Ah, the second right off exit 8... ♪ 137 00:07:04,539 --> 00:07:05,806 He didn't blow his line. 138 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,808 Sarah, let's have another! 139 00:07:07,842 --> 00:07:11,611 ♪ You may find our culture lacking ♪ 140 00:07:11,646 --> 00:07:15,582 ♪ We finally outlawed our snake whacking ♪ 141 00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:18,652 ♪ Sure, our cops are easily bought ♪ 142 00:07:18,686 --> 00:07:22,255 ♪ And our dentists are all self-taught ♪ 143 00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:26,526 ♪ But hooray for Springfield ♪ 144 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:28,462 ♪ Give two cheers ♪ 145 00:07:28,496 --> 00:07:31,965 ♪ Smallpox-free for seven years ♪ 146 00:07:31,999 --> 00:07:34,835 ♪ Why Springfield? ♪ 147 00:07:34,869 --> 00:07:38,405 ♪ Why not? ♪ 148 00:07:40,007 --> 00:07:41,641 What a song! 149 00:07:41,676 --> 00:07:46,112 I feel as if I'm in the lobby of the Brill Building! 150 00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:53,553 Homer, it's a standing ovation. Get up. 151 00:07:53,588 --> 00:07:56,056 Our kids just did something amazing. 152 00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:57,691 Well, not Maggie. 153 00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:01,661 Get up! Okay, okay. 154 00:08:01,696 --> 00:08:03,530 Standing "O" or die! 155 00:08:09,704 --> 00:08:10,704 Woo-hoo! 156 00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:16,743 Stop laughing at me! 157 00:08:23,684 --> 00:08:26,052 Occupied. 158 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:32,893 Stop fearing me! 159 00:08:37,732 --> 00:08:39,132 Damn it! 160 00:08:42,236 --> 00:08:44,004 Please keep spinning it. 161 00:08:44,038 --> 00:08:45,672 I don't want to look at it. 162 00:08:45,706 --> 00:08:48,608 Can't you say something to make me feel better? 163 00:08:50,244 --> 00:08:52,412 I'm sorry, but I can't. 164 00:08:52,446 --> 00:08:55,549 I'm tired of you saying planes have gotten smaller 165 00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:58,718 and two presidents were fatter than you, and... 166 00:08:59,754 --> 00:09:01,254 Fine, I got it. 167 00:09:01,289 --> 00:09:03,590 Starting right now, a yearlong juice cleanse. 168 00:09:03,624 --> 00:09:05,425 Every morning, I get a colonic, 169 00:09:05,459 --> 00:09:07,961 and I sleep in a sauna every night. 170 00:09:07,995 --> 00:09:11,298 Oh, that's not a healthy way to lose weight. 171 00:09:11,332 --> 00:09:15,135 It's not about health, Marge, it's about going crazy. 172 00:09:15,169 --> 00:09:17,037 You don't have to do this alone. 173 00:09:17,071 --> 00:09:19,105 What the...? 174 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,140 Hmm. 175 00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:36,189 This is it. 176 00:09:36,223 --> 00:09:41,194 My name is Roy, and this week I gained seven pounds. 177 00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:43,597 Yes! 178 00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:44,898 No shame there! 179 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,833 You go, girth! 180 00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:48,835 Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. 181 00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:51,605 I thought you were Over-feeders Anonymous. 182 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:53,673 No, no. In fact, quite the opposite. 183 00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:55,675 We are Big Is Beautiful. 184 00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:58,445 So you guys are proud of what you are? 185 00:09:58,479 --> 00:10:01,982 We do not cower in the shadows, we make the shadows. 186 00:10:02,016 --> 00:10:03,350 Do you guys serve snacks? 187 00:10:03,384 --> 00:10:04,818 We've got ice cream hoagies, 188 00:10:04,852 --> 00:10:07,621 deep-fried sugar bags, Dorsnickos, Snickeritos, 189 00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:11,157 Milky Snicks, Porksicles, and of course diet soda. 190 00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:12,659 Oh, got to have diet soda. Oh, yeah, of course. 191 00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:14,494 Yes, mustn't forget the diet soda. 192 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:16,630 I have so many questions for you. 193 00:10:16,664 --> 00:10:18,665 First of all, is this floor reinforced? 194 00:10:20,004 --> 00:10:22,316 You know, maybe I shouldn't be here. 195 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,718 I promised my wife I'd lose weight. 196 00:10:24,753 --> 00:10:25,753 Huh? 197 00:10:25,754 --> 00:10:26,987 If I may. 198 00:10:28,123 --> 00:10:29,556 Ooh, labels. 199 00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:33,627 Our loved ones, though precious, can often be a hurdle. 200 00:10:33,662 --> 00:10:35,562 Who are you? I'm the founder 201 00:10:35,597 --> 00:10:37,431 of our little group, Albert. 202 00:10:37,465 --> 00:10:39,133 Ooh, like Fat Albert! 203 00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:41,568 We never use the word "fat" here. 204 00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:43,804 Sorry. My dear fat friend, 205 00:10:43,838 --> 00:10:46,540 all your wife needs is a little education. 206 00:10:46,574 --> 00:10:47,808 Now repeat after me. 207 00:10:47,842 --> 00:10:49,243 I am big. 208 00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:50,577 I am big. 209 00:10:50,612 --> 00:10:52,446 I am beautiful. 210 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,349 I have a beauty of a sort to some. 211 00:10:55,383 --> 00:10:58,585 No one can make me feel bad about who I am 212 00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:01,689 because this is who I am! 213 00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:02,556 Ditto! 214 00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:04,291 You know, I've always wanted 215 00:11:04,326 --> 00:11:06,093 to blindly follow somebody, 216 00:11:06,127 --> 00:11:09,129 and I think you just might be the guy. 217 00:11:09,164 --> 00:11:10,631 Marge, kids, 218 00:11:10,665 --> 00:11:13,634 tonight was a turning point in my life. 219 00:11:13,668 --> 00:11:15,002 Well, that's great, Homie. 220 00:11:15,036 --> 00:11:17,237 Just let me finish uploading this photo. 221 00:11:17,272 --> 00:11:18,472 No, Marge, 222 00:11:18,506 --> 00:11:19,807 you have to listen! 223 00:11:19,841 --> 00:11:22,910 That place you sent me to changed my life. 224 00:11:22,944 --> 00:11:24,244 Thank you, Lord! 225 00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:26,613 And I'll give up online scrapbooking, 226 00:11:26,648 --> 00:11:27,881 like I promised. 227 00:11:29,117 --> 00:11:31,452 They taught me that I don't need to lose weight. 228 00:11:31,486 --> 00:11:33,620 I should just be proud of what I am. 229 00:11:33,655 --> 00:11:34,855 What? 230 00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,590 Restore, restore! 231 00:11:38,626 --> 00:11:40,027 I met a guy... 232 00:11:40,061 --> 00:11:41,662 a wonderful guy... 233 00:11:41,696 --> 00:11:43,297 Oh, Lord. 234 00:11:43,331 --> 00:11:44,531 It's not what you think. 235 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:45,833 His name is Albert, 236 00:11:45,867 --> 00:11:48,235 and he taught me not to buy into the lies 237 00:11:48,269 --> 00:11:50,237 taught by Big Nutrition. 238 00:11:50,271 --> 00:11:52,306 That's worse than what I thought. 239 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:55,776 Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, 240 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,912 but I must observe the teachings of this man 241 00:11:58,947 --> 00:12:00,581 I just met tonight. 242 00:12:00,615 --> 00:12:03,484 Now, the first thing I have to do is make amends. 243 00:12:03,518 --> 00:12:05,419 With the bathroom scale. 244 00:12:05,453 --> 00:12:08,155 I'm so sorry I threw you across the room 245 00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:09,823 and called you a liar. 246 00:12:09,858 --> 00:12:12,593 When you told me I was 260 pounds, 247 00:12:12,627 --> 00:12:14,862 you were just encouraging me. 248 00:12:14,896 --> 00:12:18,132 It was a poem you were writing about my potential. 249 00:12:18,166 --> 00:12:20,534 I'm gonna start celebrating my size, 250 00:12:20,568 --> 00:12:22,870 and I need you with me as a partner. 251 00:12:22,904 --> 00:12:24,304 Now, if you'll excuse me, 252 00:12:24,339 --> 00:12:26,940 I need to talk to the broken porch swing. 253 00:12:26,975 --> 00:12:28,642 So, from now on, 254 00:12:28,676 --> 00:12:31,345 you guys can no longer say these hateful words: 255 00:12:31,379 --> 00:12:33,647 "Chubby, chunky, blobbo, slobbo, 256 00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:37,151 "fat bastard, Michelin Man, Stay Puft, Chumbawumba, 257 00:12:37,185 --> 00:12:38,519 "It is balloon! 258 00:12:38,553 --> 00:12:40,654 "Papa Grande, Augustus Gloop, 259 00:12:40,688 --> 00:12:43,123 "beached whale, big-boned, Wisconsin skinny, 260 00:12:43,158 --> 00:12:46,527 "butterball, dump truck, "Jelly Belly, pudgy-wudgy, 261 00:12:46,561 --> 00:12:48,796 "lard-ass, blubberino, Buddha belly, 262 00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,664 "Hurry Eat Tubman, one-ton soup, 263 00:12:50,698 --> 00:12:53,400 "Blob Saget, Chub Hub, Calvin Cool Whip, 264 00:12:53,435 --> 00:12:55,636 "Manfred Mannboobs, 21 Lump Street, 265 00:12:55,670 --> 00:12:58,639 "walking 'before' picture, fatso, Harvey Milk Chocolate, 266 00:12:58,673 --> 00:13:01,642 "Obese Want Cannoli, Mahatma Gumbo, 267 00:13:01,676 --> 00:13:04,011 "Salvador Deli, Elmer Pantry, 268 00:13:04,045 --> 00:13:07,915 "KFC and the Sponge Cake Band, Snackie Onassis, 269 00:13:07,949 --> 00:13:09,817 "The Foody Blues, Hoagie Carmichael 270 00:13:09,851 --> 00:13:11,051 and wide load." 271 00:13:11,085 --> 00:13:12,820 What about Mr. Two Belts? 272 00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,054 Good, good! 273 00:13:14,088 --> 00:13:16,323 By which I mean, "Bad, bad!" 274 00:13:16,357 --> 00:13:18,091 You know, as long as we're opening this up-- 275 00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:19,493 and I'm glad you are-- 276 00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:22,229 I want to tell you guys that when you call me a gargoyle, 277 00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:25,999 a troll or a homunculus, it kind of hurts my feelings. 278 00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,401 What? You're kidding. 279 00:13:27,435 --> 00:13:28,769 We never dreamed. 280 00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:30,637 Who knew goblins had feelings? 281 00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:32,506 You see? That's what I'm talking about. Because... 282 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:34,575 We're big! We're proud! 283 00:13:34,609 --> 00:13:36,577 Two of us can make a crowd! 284 00:13:36,611 --> 00:13:39,947 Sorry, fellas. There's a movement I have to join. 285 00:13:39,981 --> 00:13:43,350 I've learned there's something more important than drinking: 286 00:13:43,384 --> 00:13:45,319 eating. 287 00:13:45,353 --> 00:13:49,056 Thank you for the easy financing! 288 00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:50,824 What the...?! 289 00:13:50,859 --> 00:13:53,861 Your store is forcing unattainable body images 290 00:13:53,895 --> 00:13:55,262 on our young people. 291 00:13:55,296 --> 00:13:58,432 I say, end the thinsanity! 292 00:13:58,466 --> 00:14:00,367 You, my friend, are wrong. 293 00:14:00,401 --> 00:14:04,404 Every girl should look like a sexy praying mantis from Milan 294 00:14:04,439 --> 00:14:05,939 whose hips are narrower 295 00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:08,609 than an Italian parliamentary majority. 296 00:14:08,643 --> 00:14:09,943 Whew. 297 00:14:12,213 --> 00:14:13,981 Okay, people, show's over. 298 00:14:14,015 --> 00:14:15,349 Nothing to eat here. 299 00:14:15,383 --> 00:14:16,617 Now move along. 300 00:14:16,651 --> 00:14:18,018 If you can. 301 00:14:18,052 --> 00:14:20,187 If not, we're gonna have to take you in. 302 00:14:20,221 --> 00:14:22,122 Clancy, what are you doing? 303 00:14:22,156 --> 00:14:23,357 You're one of us! 304 00:14:23,391 --> 00:14:24,825 You're right. 305 00:14:24,859 --> 00:14:27,094 Take me in, Lou. 306 00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,662 Ow, ah. 307 00:14:29,898 --> 00:14:30,964 Hey! Why? 308 00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:33,333 Ah, geez, Lou. 309 00:14:33,368 --> 00:14:34,835 You seem to be enjoying this. 310 00:14:34,869 --> 00:14:36,670 Just doing my job, Chief. 311 00:14:37,805 --> 00:14:39,306 Oh, that's some nice Tase work, Lou. 312 00:14:43,745 --> 00:14:45,012 Homer Simpson? 313 00:14:45,046 --> 00:14:46,213 Right here! 314 00:14:46,247 --> 00:14:47,814 Excuse me. Pardon me. 315 00:14:47,849 --> 00:14:49,316 Coming through. 316 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:50,817 Coming back. Excuse me. 317 00:14:50,852 --> 00:14:52,185 Pardon me. There we go. 318 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:53,453 Uh, coming up. 319 00:14:53,488 --> 00:14:54,688 What can I do for you? 320 00:14:54,722 --> 00:14:55,989 You're free on bail. 321 00:14:57,825 --> 00:15:00,127 People, give thanks to that woman, 322 00:15:00,161 --> 00:15:03,363 standing up for all of us, even though she's a lighty. 323 00:15:03,398 --> 00:15:04,665 Thank you. 324 00:15:04,699 --> 00:15:06,333 Although, I think the worst thing 325 00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:09,536 that ever happened to my husband was joining your group. 326 00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:13,006 I'll handle this. 327 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:16,343 What is the point of a long life if it's not enjoyed? 328 00:15:17,579 --> 00:15:19,446 Homer, you have to choose. 329 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,982 And I think the choice is clear. 330 00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,993 Guys, I'm coming back in! 331 00:15:33,027 --> 00:15:34,428 Suck in your guts. 332 00:15:36,731 --> 00:15:39,032 Home. 333 00:15:46,252 --> 00:15:48,887 Whee! Whee! 334 00:15:48,921 --> 00:15:51,289 Who's he giving a piggyback ride to? 335 00:15:51,324 --> 00:15:52,557 We don't know. 336 00:15:52,592 --> 00:15:54,559 Mom, what's wrong? 337 00:15:54,594 --> 00:15:56,128 How come Dad's not with you? 338 00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:58,497 Are they setting bail by the pound? 339 00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:02,234 He chose to spend the night in a jail with strangers 340 00:16:02,268 --> 00:16:03,468 instead of me. 341 00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:04,836 Mom, Lisa and I learned 342 00:16:04,871 --> 00:16:07,673 that we can solve any problem through song. 343 00:16:07,707 --> 00:16:10,842 Lisa, let's go write something that'll change Dad's mind. 344 00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:12,044 Do you really think 345 00:16:12,078 --> 00:16:13,945 that we can write a song that does that? 346 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,781 I just wanted to get out of the room. 347 00:16:15,815 --> 00:16:17,683 She was really bumming me out. 348 00:16:20,453 --> 00:16:21,720 Ah, geez. 349 00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:23,789 I thought writing another hit song would be easier. 350 00:16:23,823 --> 00:16:25,157 Well, it would've helped 351 00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:26,825 if you hadn't crumpled up all the paper 352 00:16:26,859 --> 00:16:29,594 before we wrote anything on it. 353 00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:30,996 No more judgment! 354 00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,364 No more jokes! 355 00:16:32,398 --> 00:16:35,033 We will not be made to feel less than 356 00:16:35,068 --> 00:16:38,136 because we are greater than! 357 00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,439 I was distinctly promised no math! 358 00:16:40,473 --> 00:16:44,509 Homer, I want to say something extremely important 359 00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:47,646 the way a woman does-- subtly, through someone else. 360 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:48,880 Kids... 361 00:16:48,915 --> 00:16:51,550 ♪ ♪ 362 00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:53,485 Take it, Bart! You take it! 363 00:16:53,519 --> 00:16:54,853 I gave it to you! 364 00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:56,188 I refuse to accept it! 365 00:16:56,222 --> 00:16:57,789 Just start the song! 366 00:16:57,824 --> 00:16:59,124 We couldn't write a song. 367 00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:00,692 We're one-hit wonders. 368 00:17:00,727 --> 00:17:02,127 But is that such a crime? 369 00:17:02,161 --> 00:17:03,695 Look at J.D. Salinger. 370 00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:04,996 Franny and Zooey. 371 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:06,131 Rubik's Cube! 372 00:17:06,165 --> 00:17:07,299 Rubik's Snake! 373 00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:09,401 Charles M. Schulz. 374 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:10,569 You've got me there. 375 00:17:10,603 --> 00:17:11,837 It's her fault. 376 00:17:11,871 --> 00:17:13,772 She was sucking all the gangsta out of everything. 377 00:17:13,806 --> 00:17:15,440 Well, you're the only "gangsta" I know 378 00:17:15,475 --> 00:17:17,175 with a 9:00 bedtime. 379 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,811 9:30, starting in summer. Mom said. 380 00:17:19,846 --> 00:17:21,580 Ah, kids, stop arguing. 381 00:17:21,614 --> 00:17:23,482 Or keep arguing. 382 00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:24,850 I don't care. 383 00:17:24,884 --> 00:17:28,153 Homer, I'm sorry I tried to help you control your weight. 384 00:17:28,187 --> 00:17:30,655 I'm not sure of anything anymore. 385 00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:32,858 Sorry I ever opened my mouth. 386 00:17:32,892 --> 00:17:34,559 Marge, it's not your fault 387 00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:37,796 that you can't win against a superior being like Albert. 388 00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:41,233 Mmm. 389 00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:42,734 But, Marge, I don't want you 390 00:17:42,769 --> 00:17:44,369 to ever stop caring about me. 391 00:17:44,403 --> 00:17:45,670 How can you follow a leader 392 00:17:45,705 --> 00:17:47,539 who won't even get up out of his chair? 393 00:17:47,573 --> 00:17:49,241 Marge, I believe you're forgetting 394 00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:53,078 America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader: 395 00:17:53,112 --> 00:17:55,347 Professor X of the X-Men. 396 00:17:55,381 --> 00:17:58,016 It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, 397 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,518 it's that he couldn't! 398 00:17:59,552 --> 00:18:02,420 Well, I'll show you who can get up! 399 00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:15,433 That's right! 400 00:18:15,468 --> 00:18:17,035 I don't need this scooter! 401 00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:18,270 All of you, 402 00:18:18,304 --> 00:18:20,939 follow me to the future! 403 00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:25,710 Oh, dear God. 404 00:18:25,745 --> 00:18:27,879 Stick a forklift in him, he's dead. 405 00:18:45,598 --> 00:18:47,465 I've never written a eulogy before, 406 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,467 but this time, I did. 407 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:53,071 Unfortunately, I left it at home. 408 00:18:53,105 --> 00:18:54,873 Thanks, lady. 409 00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:58,410 What Albert taught us is that all people have pride 410 00:18:58,444 --> 00:19:01,479 and no group should ever be insulted. 411 00:19:01,514 --> 00:19:02,914 He knew what was important 412 00:19:02,949 --> 00:19:05,917 was how you lived your life every day. 413 00:19:05,952 --> 00:19:08,486 Till he was taken from us too soon, 414 00:19:08,521 --> 00:19:10,522 at the age of... 415 00:19:11,824 --> 00:19:13,158 Twenty-three?! 416 00:19:13,192 --> 00:19:15,760 People, for God's sake, join a gym! 417 00:19:17,263 --> 00:19:20,332 Kumiko, would you still love me if I lost weight? 418 00:19:20,366 --> 00:19:22,334 Much more! 419 00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:24,669 Marge, I'm sorry I was proud of myself. 420 00:19:24,704 --> 00:19:26,304 That's not really what I was... 421 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,039 It will never happen again! 422 00:19:28,074 --> 00:19:30,408 Now come on. Let's walk home. 423 00:19:30,443 --> 00:19:32,410 Absolutely. 424 00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:33,979 Can I ask you something? 425 00:19:34,013 --> 00:19:36,147 What is it that keeps you with me? 426 00:19:36,182 --> 00:19:38,917 It's because everything you love, 427 00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:41,286 you love so much. 428 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,687 Because you love me, 429 00:19:42,722 --> 00:19:46,258 I will not stop yo-yo dieting till I get it right. 430 00:19:46,292 --> 00:19:47,492 Oh... 431 00:20:05,144 --> 00:20:06,544 At last. 432 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:07,979 Well done, Dad. 433 00:20:08,014 --> 00:20:10,715 You finally reached emotional maturity. 434 00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,183 Unlike Bart. 435 00:20:12,786 --> 00:20:14,474 Bart's very mature. 436 00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,431 Take it from the little boy in his tummy. 437 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,850 Now, when do I get to be the head again? 438 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:22,120 Soon. It's always "soon." 439 00:20:27,579 --> 00:20:29,617 Whoa! 440 00:20:31,285 --> 00:20:34,788 Oh. I wish I had said that earlier. 441 00:20:34,822 --> 00:20:41,322 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 442 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:21,935 Shh!