1 00:00:46,402 --> 00:00:47,803 D'oh! 2 00:00:57,313 --> 00:01:01,314 ♪ The Simpsons 22x01 ♪ Elementary School Musical Original Air Date on September 26, 2010 3 00:01:01,384 --> 00:01:04,952 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 4 00:01:05,054 --> 00:01:06,488 It's 4:00 a.m. 5 00:01:06,556 --> 00:01:09,791 You kids should have been in bed a half-hour ago. 6 00:01:09,859 --> 00:01:11,226 We're watching the Nobel Prize announcements 7 00:01:11,294 --> 00:01:12,928 live from Stockholm. 8 00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:14,129 Ooh, the Nobies! 9 00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:16,231 For Economics... 10 00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:19,434 Jagdish Bhagwati. 11 00:01:19,502 --> 00:01:21,703 Huzzah! I had him in the pool. 12 00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:22,838 Lucky. 13 00:01:22,905 --> 00:01:24,106 Quiet! 14 00:01:24,173 --> 00:01:26,141 It's time for the noblest Nobel Prize of all: 15 00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:27,776 the Peace Prize. 16 00:01:27,844 --> 00:01:30,045 I would kill for that. 17 00:01:30,113 --> 00:01:33,014 And the Nobel Prize for Peace goes to... 18 00:01:33,082 --> 00:01:34,116 Isn't this exciting? 19 00:01:34,183 --> 00:01:35,917 Krusty the Clown. 20 00:01:39,922 --> 00:01:43,158 And now, to comment on joining the ranks of 21 00:01:43,226 --> 00:01:45,127 Martin Luther King, Jr., Ghandi, and Desmond Tutu, 22 00:01:45,194 --> 00:01:47,562 here's the man who always parks in my spot, 23 00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:49,197 Krusty the Clown! 24 00:01:49,265 --> 00:01:51,133 I'd just like to say: 25 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,436 this thing is worth nearly two million dollars. 26 00:01:54,504 --> 00:01:57,506 How do you like me now, Teen Choice Awards? 27 00:01:57,573 --> 00:02:00,442 Kent Brockman, Channel Six, and channelsix.com. 28 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:02,811 Will you be flying to Norway to accept the prize? 29 00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:05,413 I'm looking forward to visiting the Arctic Circle, 30 00:02:05,481 --> 00:02:07,716 or as I call it, my wife's side of the bed! 31 00:02:07,784 --> 00:02:09,551 For the purposes of that joke, I'm married. 32 00:02:24,634 --> 00:02:27,302 Hey! You! Big Chief Laugh-at-Crap. 33 00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,204 Meet me in my limo in five minutes. 34 00:02:34,243 --> 00:02:35,844 Arctic Circle-- I just got that! 35 00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:38,680 All right, all right, settle down. 36 00:02:38,748 --> 00:02:41,650 Homer, you're the easiest laugh I know. 37 00:02:41,717 --> 00:02:43,285 How easy am I? 38 00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:44,686 Shut up! 39 00:02:44,754 --> 00:02:46,354 I'm gonna need you in the audience 40 00:02:46,422 --> 00:02:48,623 when I accept the Peace Prize in Oslo. 41 00:02:48,691 --> 00:02:50,058 Can my son come, too? 42 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,761 He knows what to do when I swallow my tongue. 43 00:02:52,829 --> 00:02:54,029 Eh, why not? 44 00:02:54,096 --> 00:02:56,565 ♪ They fight and bite ♪ 45 00:02:56,632 --> 00:02:58,667 ♪ They fight and bite and fight♪ 46 00:02:58,734 --> 00:02:59,835 ♪ Fight, fight, fight ♪ 47 00:02:59,902 --> 00:03:01,670 ♪ Bite, bite, bite ♪ 48 00:03:01,737 --> 00:03:08,009 ♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show! ♪ 49 00:03:08,077 --> 00:03:10,178 They fight and bite? 50 00:03:10,246 --> 00:03:12,581 I never go to Europe without learning something. 51 00:03:12,648 --> 00:03:15,784 Now listen, I need you two to hold these for me. 52 00:03:15,852 --> 00:03:17,452 Your drugs put me to sleep. 53 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,787 Your drugs wake me up. 54 00:03:18,855 --> 00:03:21,323 If I ask you to give me more, you say no. 55 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:25,093 If I ask you again, you give 'em to me. 56 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,329 Why aren't I going to Oslo? 57 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:29,698 The Nobel Prizes are my freakin' thing. 58 00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:31,499 But no, Bart gets everything 59 00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,501 because he's the oldest, and he's a boy. 60 00:03:33,569 --> 00:03:35,470 And Maggie gets what's ever left over, 61 00:03:35,538 --> 00:03:37,372 because she's the youngest and she's a baby. 62 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,041 Meanwhile, I just stand and wave 63 00:03:40,109 --> 00:03:41,509 to people going to better places. 64 00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:44,546 Would half a bottle of confiscated water cheer you up? 65 00:03:44,614 --> 00:03:45,680 Ew, no thanks. 66 00:03:45,748 --> 00:03:47,682 Oh. Quite the little princess, ain't she? 67 00:03:49,485 --> 00:03:52,520 I'm just gonna chill out with a little This American Life. 68 00:03:52,588 --> 00:03:55,190 I'm Ira Glass. Remember when you were five years old, 69 00:03:55,258 --> 00:03:56,958 putting ketchup on your hot dog? 70 00:03:57,026 --> 00:03:59,327 Today, in five acts: condiments. 71 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:00,996 Act one, mustard. 72 00:04:01,063 --> 00:04:02,864 Act two, mayo. 73 00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:04,599 Act three, relish. 74 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:07,102 Act four, corn relish... 75 00:04:07,169 --> 00:04:09,237 Mom, this isn't the way home. 76 00:04:09,305 --> 00:04:11,139 Maybe we're not going home right away. 77 00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,741 Oh, I get it. 78 00:04:12,808 --> 00:04:15,610 They go to Oslo, we get some ice cream. 79 00:04:15,678 --> 00:04:19,114 Well, you could get some ice cream, or... 80 00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:23,018 spend a week at performing arts camp! 81 00:04:23,085 --> 00:04:25,120 Whoops-- didn't time that quite right. 82 00:04:25,187 --> 00:04:28,089 Oh, my God! Mom, thank you! 83 00:04:28,157 --> 00:04:30,425 I just need my... 84 00:04:30,493 --> 00:04:33,395 Did you really think I'd forget? 85 00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:35,764 Now have a great time. 86 00:04:35,831 --> 00:04:38,099 Victory for the middle child! 87 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:41,069 Aw, you think I forgot you? 88 00:04:41,137 --> 00:04:43,772 Babies shouldn't jump to conclusions. 89 00:04:53,349 --> 00:04:55,750 Hello? Hello...? 90 00:04:58,287 --> 00:04:59,254 Huh? 91 00:04:59,322 --> 00:05:01,189 ♪ I... ♪ 92 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:05,560 ♪ I love the elegant pearls you wear ♪ 93 00:05:05,628 --> 00:05:10,031 ♪ And the starfish shape that constitutes your hair ♪ 94 00:05:12,535 --> 00:05:14,803 ♪ You'll... ♪ 95 00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:18,039 ♪ Be staying in Cabin 12... ♪ 96 00:05:18,107 --> 00:05:22,610 ♪ And we think that you'll be very happy there. ♪ 97 00:05:25,648 --> 00:05:27,916 ♪ You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa ♪ 98 00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:31,519 ♪ Marge paid with her debit VISA ♪ 99 00:05:31,587 --> 00:05:33,521 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education... ♪ 100 00:05:33,589 --> 00:05:36,024 ♪ You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa ♪ 101 00:05:36,092 --> 00:05:37,759 ♪ Marge paid with her debit VISA ♪ 102 00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:40,261 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education... ♪ 103 00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:42,097 ♪ You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa ♪ 104 00:05:42,164 --> 00:05:44,099 ♪ Marge paid with her debit VISA ♪ 105 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,934 ♪ Arts, arts, arts education... ♪ 106 00:05:46,002 --> 00:05:47,569 ♪ You're gonna like arts camp, Lisa ♪ 107 00:05:47,636 --> 00:05:50,872 ♪ Marge paid with her debit VISA... ♪ 108 00:05:56,249 --> 00:05:57,816 Knock, knock! 109 00:05:57,884 --> 00:05:59,985 Lisa, I'm Kurt, and this is Ethan. 110 00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:01,987 We're the counselors- slash-musical directors- 111 00:06:02,055 --> 00:06:03,989 slash-community outreach liaisons- 112 00:06:04,057 --> 00:06:04,990 slash counselors. 113 00:06:05,058 --> 00:06:06,091 You said counselors twice. 114 00:06:06,159 --> 00:06:07,593 We do a lot of counseling. 115 00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:10,095 Yeah, but we don't do twice as much counseling. 116 00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:12,231 Well, don't question me in front of the children! 117 00:06:12,298 --> 00:06:13,766 She can't hear us, we're stage whispering. 118 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,767 I can hear you. 119 00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:16,201 No, you can't. 120 00:06:16,269 --> 00:06:19,171 Okay, Lisa, let's get your camp T-shirt. 121 00:06:19,239 --> 00:06:21,473 ♪ All our camp T-shirts are medium ♪ 122 00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,542 ♪ Well, I hope you wear medium, girl-- huh! ♪ 123 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,177 We should also find you a meal plan. 124 00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:27,446 ♪ Meal-planning lady... ♪ 125 00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:30,082 ♪ Plan my meals, baby... ♪ 126 00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:31,383 Do you guys always do that? 127 00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:33,419 ♪ Do what? ♪ 128 00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:34,853 Sing what you just said, 129 00:06:34,921 --> 00:06:36,422 then play a little guitar riff? 130 00:06:36,489 --> 00:06:37,990 ♪ No, we don't do that ♪ 131 00:06:38,057 --> 00:06:39,425 ♪ We never do that ♪ 132 00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:41,260 ♪ Well, we sometimes do that ♪ 133 00:06:41,327 --> 00:06:43,829 ♪ But very infrequently, lady. ♪ 134 00:06:48,168 --> 00:06:49,835 How 'bout that airline food, huh? 135 00:06:49,903 --> 00:06:52,805 They should've called it "chicken cordon blech"! 136 00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:56,208 Another good one. 137 00:06:56,276 --> 00:06:59,445 Huh? Wait a minute... This doesn't look like Oslo. 138 00:06:59,512 --> 00:07:00,879 Where are the wood-stave churches? 139 00:07:00,947 --> 00:07:02,514 Historic Akershus Fortress? 140 00:07:02,582 --> 00:07:03,949 You are not in Oslo. 141 00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:05,284 You are in Holland... 142 00:07:05,351 --> 00:07:07,453 specifically, The Hague. 143 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:08,854 Did you say a Hague? 144 00:07:08,922 --> 00:07:10,456 I said The Hague. 145 00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:13,492 What's going on? Where's my Nobel Prize? 146 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:14,359 There is no prize. 147 00:07:14,427 --> 00:07:16,128 It was merely a ruse 148 00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:17,729 to get you to Europe, 149 00:07:17,797 --> 00:07:19,765 so we could try you for the terrible crimes 150 00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:21,366 you've committed on this continent! 151 00:07:21,434 --> 00:07:23,235 It was all a setup! 152 00:07:23,303 --> 00:07:24,603 You gotta read me the charges! 153 00:07:24,671 --> 00:07:26,472 You dropped a monkey from the Eiffel Tower... 154 00:07:26,539 --> 00:07:27,739 Uh-huh. 155 00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:29,074 In Greece, you committed something called 156 00:07:29,142 --> 00:07:30,342 "aggravated hey-hey"... 157 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:31,677 Forgot about that one. 158 00:07:31,744 --> 00:07:33,779 And here in Holland, you stole the entire act 159 00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:36,448 of our beloved clown "Van Kru sten." 160 00:07:36,516 --> 00:07:39,451 U bestolen al mijn jokenchortles! 161 00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:43,255 Gaah! Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! 162 00:07:44,491 --> 00:07:46,158 One of the most important skills 163 00:07:46,226 --> 00:07:48,994 a performer can learn is dealing with hecklers. 164 00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:50,796 And... action! 165 00:07:50,864 --> 00:07:52,764 Top of the evening, Officer Krupke. 166 00:07:52,832 --> 00:07:54,600 Your dog's dead! 167 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,101 Um... that's not really a heckle. 168 00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:58,103 Right, yeah, right. 169 00:07:58,171 --> 00:08:01,773 I've seen more life in the Wellington Botanic Gardens! 170 00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:03,775 That is a heckle, but if you're not 171 00:08:03,843 --> 00:08:05,711 from New Zealand, it loses some of its sting. 172 00:08:05,778 --> 00:08:07,012 How much? Well, most of it. 173 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,680 Do you think they won't know the reference? 174 00:08:08,748 --> 00:08:10,415 If they did know the Gardens, 175 00:08:10,483 --> 00:08:13,385 then they would know that they're teeming with life. 176 00:08:13,453 --> 00:08:14,953 So, what do you guys do 177 00:08:15,021 --> 00:08:16,822 when you're not camp counselors? 178 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:18,757 We're highly successful artists. 179 00:08:18,825 --> 00:08:20,125 And as artists, we live in 180 00:08:20,193 --> 00:08:21,159 Springfield's most artistic borough... 181 00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:22,528 Sprooklyn. 182 00:08:24,597 --> 00:08:26,565 We spend our days acting and painting... 183 00:08:26,633 --> 00:08:27,466 dancing and sculpting... 184 00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:29,601 playing my Gibson... 185 00:08:29,669 --> 00:08:30,736 rehearsing my Ibsen. 186 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:32,371 Because, you see, young artists, 187 00:08:32,438 --> 00:08:34,606 ♪ Artists are the people who hold up a mirror ♪ 188 00:08:34,674 --> 00:08:37,776 ♪ Artists make society see its faults clearer ♪ 189 00:08:37,844 --> 00:08:39,845 ♪ Artists help stamp out oppression and wars ♪ 190 00:08:39,913 --> 00:08:40,879 ♪ And when we camp outdoors ♪ 191 00:08:40,947 --> 00:08:42,014 ♪ We make the best s'mores. ♪ 192 00:08:42,081 --> 00:08:44,049 Three layers, Mother Nature. 193 00:08:44,117 --> 00:08:46,151 Mmm... Mmm... Yeah, yeah. 194 00:08:46,219 --> 00:08:48,287 ♪ Artists end poverty with music and dance ♪ 195 00:08:48,354 --> 00:08:50,255 ♪ Artists make art on the beaches of France ♪ 196 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,324 ♪ I never knew artists were all so amazing ♪ 197 00:08:52,392 --> 00:08:54,593 ♪ Excuse me while I talk to this cow that is grazing ♪ 198 00:08:54,661 --> 00:08:58,230 ♪ I give art like you give milk ♪ 199 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,334 ♪ Everyone listens when artists are talking ♪ 200 00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:04,403 ♪ 'Cause artists are smarter than Mr. Stephen Hawking ♪ 201 00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:05,404 Oh, yeah. 202 00:09:05,471 --> 00:09:07,272 Break it down for me, fellas. 203 00:09:15,148 --> 00:09:17,549 ♪ Do you think that I could be an artist in the city? ♪ 204 00:09:17,617 --> 00:09:19,484 ♪ Hold on, Lisa, let me check with the committee ♪ 205 00:09:19,552 --> 00:09:20,786 So, what do you guys think? 206 00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:22,554 Yes. I agree. 207 00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:24,957 ♪ Yes, Lisa, you could be an artist in the world ♪ 208 00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:27,092 ♪ So move to the city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 209 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,394 ♪ To the gritty city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 210 00:09:29,462 --> 00:09:31,029 ♪ The city's pretty gritty for an itty-bitty pretty girl. ♪ 211 00:09:35,902 --> 00:09:38,236 I am really, really sorry 212 00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:40,272 for everything I've been charged with 213 00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:42,941 and all the stuff you don't know about yet. 214 00:09:43,009 --> 00:09:44,309 There is only one possible way 215 00:09:44,377 --> 00:09:45,344 to earn your freedom. 216 00:09:45,411 --> 00:09:47,746 Oh, I get it. 217 00:09:47,814 --> 00:09:52,184 Everyone's windmill needs a new blade now and then, right? 218 00:09:52,251 --> 00:09:55,621 No! Our windmills are the envy of the world! 219 00:09:57,457 --> 00:10:00,058 To win exoneration, you must prove that you have made 220 00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:03,495 a singular contribution to Western culture. 221 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:04,730 Western, huh? 222 00:10:04,797 --> 00:10:06,565 Did you ever see my "Wyatt Burp" sketch? 223 00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:09,401 Everyone on my payroll says it's great. 224 00:10:09,469 --> 00:10:12,137 I am not familiar with this "Wyatt Burp." 225 00:10:12,205 --> 00:10:13,939 Oh, uh... then, uh... 226 00:10:14,007 --> 00:10:16,074 Let me do my "Dutch Oven" bit! 227 00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:17,776 It's about other Dutchmen, not you. 228 00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:19,811 You know, uh... 229 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:26,184 Those clouds look like a casting director saying, 230 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,552 "You've got the part." 231 00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:28,954 That cloud looks like legendary 232 00:10:29,022 --> 00:10:31,657 Broadway lyricist Betty Comden. 233 00:10:31,724 --> 00:10:34,559 I finally found the place I belong. 234 00:10:34,627 --> 00:10:36,928 You're week's up. Time to go home! 235 00:10:36,996 --> 00:10:39,131 It can't be Saturday already. 236 00:10:39,198 --> 00:10:40,799 Monday was orientation. 237 00:10:40,867 --> 00:10:43,201 Tuesday, we did mime. 238 00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:45,003 Wednesday we did Mame. 239 00:10:45,071 --> 00:10:47,139 Thursday we got attacked by bees. 240 00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:49,074 Friday morning, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Elaine Stritch 241 00:10:49,142 --> 00:10:50,242 helped us make wallets. 242 00:10:50,309 --> 00:10:51,910 Friday evening, we performed 243 00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:54,413 Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes. 244 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,181 Part One: Millennium Approaches. 245 00:10:56,249 --> 00:10:57,182 Part Two... 246 00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,517 Perestroika? 247 00:10:58,584 --> 00:10:59,751 That's right! 248 00:10:59,819 --> 00:11:01,420 Strike the set, pizza party, 249 00:11:01,487 --> 00:11:02,921 Saturday morning, and then... 250 00:11:02,989 --> 00:11:04,790 No! 251 00:11:04,857 --> 00:11:06,725 Good-bye, Lisa. 252 00:11:06,793 --> 00:11:09,961 I'll miss you a lot, then a little, then not too much. 253 00:11:10,029 --> 00:11:13,532 Lisa, do you have to leave this minute? 254 00:11:13,599 --> 00:11:15,233 No time. 255 00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:18,136 I don't want to get stuck behind the joggers from the fat camp. 256 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:25,477 I can't go home. 257 00:11:25,545 --> 00:11:28,547 Something happened this week that completely changed me. 258 00:11:28,614 --> 00:11:31,616 Oh, you didn't see a boy lose his swim trunks, did you? 259 00:11:31,684 --> 00:11:33,085 No. 260 00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:35,687 I fell in love with theater, dance, and song. 261 00:11:35,755 --> 00:11:38,323 We've got plenty of songs in the car, 262 00:11:38,391 --> 00:11:40,459 by Maggie's favorite singer: Roofi. 263 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:46,098 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 264 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:47,933 ♪ Have an apple or a pear... ♪ 265 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,402 Bup-up-up. Safety locks. 266 00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:52,637 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 267 00:11:52,705 --> 00:11:54,606 ♪ Have an apple or a pear ♪ 268 00:11:54,674 --> 00:11:57,309 ♪ Brush your teeth, comb your hair ♪ 269 00:11:57,376 --> 00:11:59,377 ♪ Have an apple or a pear ♪ 270 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,415 ♪ Brush your teeth comb your hair ♪ 271 00:12:03,483 --> 00:12:04,850 ♪ Have an apple or a... ♪ 272 00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:09,930 What's the matter, Lisa? 273 00:12:09,935 --> 00:12:12,270 You're usually the first one out of this death trap. 274 00:12:12,337 --> 00:12:15,339 Well, the combination of me leaving arts camp 275 00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:17,208 and you driving on and off the shoulder 276 00:12:17,276 --> 00:12:18,810 has made me a little ill. 277 00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:21,345 Sorry. I guess I shouldn't be playing this driving game 278 00:12:21,413 --> 00:12:22,713 while I'm driving. 279 00:12:26,985 --> 00:12:29,687 Okay, maybe it won't be that bad. 280 00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:32,824 Hey Lisa, how was farts camp? 281 00:12:32,891 --> 00:12:34,892 Farts camp-- that's great. 282 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,094 Arts camp was lovely. 283 00:12:37,162 --> 00:12:40,865 Did you paint a picture on toilet paper? 284 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,718 Lisa Simpson, please stick 285 00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:03,154 to the illegally Xeroxed sheet music. 286 00:13:03,222 --> 00:13:06,390 But arts camp encouraged us to spread our wings and fly. 287 00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,826 Lisa, I went to arts camp, too. 288 00:13:08,894 --> 00:13:10,828 And all it does is fill your coconut 289 00:13:10,896 --> 00:13:13,364 with banana-cream dreams that can never come true. 290 00:13:13,432 --> 00:13:14,565 How do you cope? 291 00:13:16,101 --> 00:13:18,803 Vanilla Wafers, plum wine and take it from the top. 292 00:13:18,871 --> 00:13:26,085 ♪ My country 'tis of thee ♪ 293 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:29,989 ♪ Life disappointed me ♪ 294 00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:34,427 ♪ I'm 53. ♪ 295 00:13:37,731 --> 00:13:39,899 We gotta find a clip that proves 296 00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:41,667 Krusty's made a cultural contribution. 297 00:13:41,735 --> 00:13:43,202 Let's see what we've got here. 298 00:14:01,836 --> 00:14:03,136 Ah, here we are-- 299 00:14:04,972 --> 00:14:09,809 Top to bottom, left to right, readin' things is outta sight. 300 00:14:09,877 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaking of out of sight, you've gotta hide me. 301 00:14:12,747 --> 00:14:16,049 I slept with the lighting director's wife, and... 302 00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,116 No appetite, honey? 303 00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:36,052 It's just dinner conversation at arts camp 304 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,954 was a bit more stimulating. 305 00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:40,724 One night we spoke only in lines from famous poems. 306 00:14:40,791 --> 00:14:42,626 Because I could not stop for death, 307 00:14:42,693 --> 00:14:44,961 he kindly stopped for me. 308 00:14:45,029 --> 00:14:46,529 Emily Dickinson. 309 00:14:46,597 --> 00:14:48,231 No, I was just describing my day. 310 00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:53,803 If you need me, I'll be upstairs saying good-bye to my dreams. 311 00:14:53,871 --> 00:14:56,973 My dream is to be able to walk up stairs 312 00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:59,342 like an eight-year-old girl. 313 00:15:06,651 --> 00:15:08,251 Maggie, your big sister is leaving 314 00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:10,453 for a more artistic life. 315 00:15:10,521 --> 00:15:11,955 I'll send for you when I'm famous. 316 00:15:12,023 --> 00:15:14,524 We'll take the town by storm, like the Bronte sisters. 317 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:22,399 Oh, Maggie, don't ever turn two. 318 00:15:45,129 --> 00:15:46,563 Aha! 319 00:15:58,343 --> 00:15:59,409 Lisa Simpson. 320 00:15:59,477 --> 00:16:01,144 What are you doing here? 321 00:16:01,212 --> 00:16:03,046 I came to share in the esteem 322 00:16:03,114 --> 00:16:05,015 that the world bestows on its artists. 323 00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:07,651 Uh, yeah. 324 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,220 Brrr! 325 00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:12,856 Boy, it sure is cold in here. No heat. 326 00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:14,691 It's, uh, part of our art. 327 00:16:17,095 --> 00:16:18,228 More art. 328 00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:20,063 Ethan, look what I stole from work. 329 00:16:20,131 --> 00:16:21,398 Yes! 330 00:16:21,466 --> 00:16:22,432 Tomatoes? 331 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:24,134 What kind of artists are you? 332 00:16:24,202 --> 00:16:26,002 Sandwich artists. But we get to eat 333 00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:27,738 any sandwiches we drop on the floor. 334 00:16:27,805 --> 00:16:29,306 Unless we drop them on purpose. 335 00:16:29,374 --> 00:16:31,408 They've got cameras on us at all times. 336 00:16:31,476 --> 00:16:33,543 Are you saying that arts camp was a lie? 337 00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:35,178 Well, not the swimming. 338 00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:38,348 Look, Lisa, I think it's time we can sang you the truth. 339 00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:41,351 ♪ Artists are the least important people in the world ♪ 340 00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:45,822 ♪ So whatever you do, don't be an artist, girl... ♪ 341 00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:48,859 ♪ Artists make a living dressing up like a falafel ♪ 342 00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:50,660 ♪ Artists shed a tear ♪ 343 00:16:50,728 --> 00:16:52,629 ♪ When they're called something awful ♪ 344 00:16:52,697 --> 00:16:54,464 You ain't no falafel! 345 00:16:58,002 --> 00:17:01,037 ♪ Artists sit in jail, on a lifetime hitch ♪ 346 00:17:01,105 --> 00:17:04,341 ♪ The only way out is become a prison snitch ♪ 347 00:17:05,610 --> 00:17:08,111 Oh, why did I sing that out loud? 348 00:17:09,414 --> 00:17:11,314 ♪ What I don't get is ♪ 349 00:17:11,382 --> 00:17:13,049 ♪ Why all the lies ♪ 350 00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:14,885 ♪ We wanted you to think ♪ 351 00:17:14,952 --> 00:17:18,088 ♪ We were happening guys. ♪ 352 00:17:19,424 --> 00:17:20,957 Well, philosophically, we're happening, 353 00:17:21,025 --> 00:17:22,926 in the sense that we exist. 354 00:17:22,994 --> 00:17:25,729 Not for long, if we don't drop more sandwiches. 355 00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:27,164 CHIEF MAGISTRATE: Herschel Krustofsky, 356 00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:29,466 you stand accused of the most heinous crimes 357 00:17:29,534 --> 00:17:30,934 known to clowndom. 358 00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,969 Have you anything to say in your defense? 359 00:17:33,037 --> 00:17:34,304 I'm sorry, Your Honor. 360 00:17:34,372 --> 00:17:35,839 I've led a worthless life. 361 00:17:35,907 --> 00:17:38,141 I've been this way since I was a little... 362 00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:39,176 squirt! 363 00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:41,077 Heh? Heh? 364 00:17:41,145 --> 00:17:44,848 Come on, I thought you Euro-jerks loved unfunny comedy. 365 00:17:44,916 --> 00:17:47,017 We don't put "Euro" in front of everything. 366 00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:48,285 Euro-guards! 367 00:17:48,352 --> 00:17:49,786 Take him away in Euro-cuffs. 368 00:17:52,023 --> 00:17:53,557 Wait! Not so fast! 369 00:17:53,624 --> 00:17:55,959 We found something to save Krusty! 370 00:17:56,027 --> 00:17:57,928 And it's on this DVD. 371 00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,696 Is it region one or region two? 372 00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:01,798 Uh, what region is America? 373 00:18:01,866 --> 00:18:02,632 Region one. 374 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:03,733 Woo-hoo! 375 00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:04,768 We're region one! 376 00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:05,936 We're region one! 377 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,537 Well, this is region two, 378 00:18:07,605 --> 00:18:09,406 so I'm afraid your exculpatory evidence 379 00:18:09,474 --> 00:18:11,842 will produce nothing more than an error message 380 00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:13,643 stating "unreadable disc." 381 00:18:13,711 --> 00:18:14,911 If it please the court, 382 00:18:14,979 --> 00:18:17,581 my brother has a multi-region player. 383 00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:20,283 I just pray he's not on a state-mandated 384 00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:21,651 five-week vacation. 385 00:18:30,161 --> 00:18:33,530 Get this back to me by 6:00. 386 00:18:33,598 --> 00:18:37,200 I'm having a Real Housewives of Atlanta season two party. 387 00:18:41,172 --> 00:18:43,540 My dressing room has regular potato chips, 388 00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:45,642 but my contract specifically stated 389 00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,677 half regular, half ruffled! 390 00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:48,778 Krusty, please... 391 00:18:48,846 --> 00:18:50,447 Forget it! Forget it! 392 00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:51,681 The gig's off! 393 00:18:51,749 --> 00:18:53,350 I ain't gonna play Sun City. 394 00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:55,318 Vuvuzela me out of here. 395 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,491 Three days later, 396 00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:04,060 South Africa freed Nelson Mandela from prison. 397 00:19:04,128 --> 00:19:07,330 Krusty the Klown, your selfishness has saved the world. 398 00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:08,498 Case dismissed. 399 00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:11,902 I'm just glad you all finally saw 400 00:19:11,969 --> 00:19:14,237 what an amazing human being I am. 401 00:19:14,305 --> 00:19:15,906 Now, where's the nearest place 402 00:19:15,973 --> 00:19:17,941 I can score a little victory weed? 403 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:19,543 That would be the courthouse cafeteria. 404 00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:20,877 I'll be right there. 405 00:19:20,945 --> 00:19:22,779 Order me, um, a raspberry crepe 406 00:19:22,847 --> 00:19:24,481 and a brick of hash. 407 00:19:24,549 --> 00:19:26,049 How do you smoke it? 408 00:19:26,117 --> 00:19:28,718 I melt it and inject it into my eyelid. 409 00:19:28,786 --> 00:19:30,320 Hey, you're all right. 410 00:19:32,189 --> 00:19:34,491 ♪ Playing guitars ♪ ♪ Playing guitar, guitars ♪ 411 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:37,561 ♪ It's hard to sing ♪ while playing ♪ 412 00:19:37,628 --> 00:19:38,595 ♪ Guitars... ♪ 413 00:19:38,663 --> 00:19:40,297 ♪ Guitars. ♪ 414 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:42,999 What's she doing with her hands? 415 00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:44,568 It's called applause. 416 00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:46,703 I'm not sure I like it. 417 00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:48,572 Lisa? Are you in here? 418 00:19:48,639 --> 00:19:51,074 Mom! Take me home! 419 00:19:54,812 --> 00:19:55,879 Hi. I'm Moe. 420 00:19:55,947 --> 00:19:57,814 It's good that little kid left, 421 00:19:57,882 --> 00:20:01,017 'cause this song is gonna get into a very dark area. 422 00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:08,725 Good-bye, guys. 423 00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,760 I'll try again when I'm older. 424 00:20:10,828 --> 00:20:12,562 Remember us for our exaggerations, 425 00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:14,130 not our reality. 426 00:20:14,198 --> 00:20:16,366 And we gave you a little surprise for your trip back. 427 00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:17,634 Is it your laundry? 428 00:20:17,702 --> 00:20:19,836 Okay, two surprises. 429 00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:24,341 In a way, I think we learned more from her 430 00:20:24,408 --> 00:20:26,309 than she did from us. Yeah, well, obviously, 431 00:20:26,377 --> 00:20:27,444 because we taught her nothing. 432 00:20:31,716 --> 00:20:33,717 Lisa, look! 433 00:20:37,521 --> 00:20:39,055 Oh... 434 00:20:39,123 --> 00:20:40,490 Thanks, guys. 435 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:43,960 How did we get way up here? 436 00:20:44,028 --> 00:20:45,495 Weren't we just back there? 437 00:20:45,563 --> 00:20:48,098 The magic of art. 438 00:20:56,073 --> 00:20:57,941 Sorry we're late. 439 00:20:59,677 --> 00:21:00,810 Oops. 440 00:21:00,878 --> 00:21:02,278 Nice one. 441 00:21:02,346 --> 00:21:04,447 ♪ It's hard to sing while playing ♪ 442 00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:05,448 ♪ Guitars... ♪ 443 00:21:05,516 --> 00:21:07,617 ♪ Guitars. ♪ 444 00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,953 ♪ Artists are the people who hold up a mirror ♪ 445 00:21:10,021 --> 00:21:12,088 ♪ Artists make society see its faults clearer ♪ 446 00:21:12,156 --> 00:21:15,025 ♪ Ha, ha, ha ♪ ♪ Artists help stamp out oppression and war ♪ 447 00:21:15,092 --> 00:21:17,861 ♪ And when we camp outdoors ♪ ♪ We make the best s'mores ♪ 448 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,063 ♪ Three layers, Mother Nature ♪ 449 00:21:20,131 --> 00:21:21,965 ♪ Mmm, mmm ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 450 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:23,867 ♪ Artists end poverty with music and dance ♪ 451 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,602 ♪ Artists make art on the beaches of France ♪ 452 00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:28,204 ♪ I never knew artists were all so amazing ♪ 453 00:21:28,272 --> 00:21:30,740 ♪ Excuse we while I talk to this cow that is grazing ♪ 454 00:21:30,808 --> 00:21:32,509 ♪ I give art ♪ 455 00:21:32,576 --> 00:21:34,010 ♪ Like you give milk... ♪ 456 00:21:35,312 --> 00:21:37,047 ♪ Do you think that I could be 457 00:21:37,114 --> 00:21:38,515 ♪ An artist in the city? ♪ 458 00:21:38,582 --> 00:21:40,984 ♪ Hold on, Lisa, let me check with the committee ♪ 459 00:21:41,052 --> 00:21:42,533 ♪ Yes, Lisa, you can be an artist in the world ♪ 460 00:21:42,555 --> 00:21:44,990 ♪ So move to the city when you're less itty-bitty, girl ♪ 461 00:21:45,057 --> 00:21:47,592 ♪ The city's pretty gritty for an itty-bitty pretty girl. ♪ 462 00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:50,662 -- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.com --