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D'oh!
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♪ The Simpsons 22x11 ♪
Flaming Moe
Original Air Date on January 16, 2011
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00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:28,121
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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Hey, look,
the late shift's leaving.
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I don't like
those guys.
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00:00:33,630 --> 00:00:36,032
Yeah, they think they're better
than us just because
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00:00:36,099 --> 00:00:37,500
their performance reviews
reflect that fact.
8
00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:40,102
Oh, no. I left a
candy bar in my desk.
9
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,671
That's funny,
'cause I found
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00:00:41,738 --> 00:00:44,440
this candy bar
in my desk.
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00:00:46,276 --> 00:00:48,377
Time to punch in.
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Sir, the shifts are
fighting like Iran and Iraq.
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Who?
Persia and Mesopotamia.
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Hush!
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Sign your full legal name
here,
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00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,886
and your will
shall be fully executed.
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00:01:08,953 --> 00:01:12,322
Charles Montgomery
Plantagenet...
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Schicklgruber... Burns.
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Sir, is that your will?
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It is. I know it's hard
to see a young buck like me
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and think of a day
when I'm no longer in the pink.
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We just need one more
set of initials here.
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Quickly, now. We're almost
through the half hour per day
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where you're
mentally competent.
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And...
...demented.
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Yeah! Yeah!
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Yank!
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Yeah! Yeah!
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A dinosaur!
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"I, C. Montgomery Burns,
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"hereby divide my estate
in equal shares
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"to the Yale University
Department of Applied Evil,
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00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:15,219
"Gary from Gary's Trapdoor
Installation and Repair,
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00:02:15,286 --> 00:02:19,106
and finally, my faithful
and constant companion..."
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Your tortoise?!
Yes.
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It always saddens me
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that you and Sheldon
have never gotten along.
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Sir, how could you leave me
out of your will?
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I'm your right-hand man,
your guy Friday!
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00:02:32,704 --> 00:02:35,372
Smithers, you are the
campiest of my aides du camp,
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but I'm afraid my true
admiration is reserved
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for the self-made man.
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No Steve Woz-ni-ak thee.
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So... you don't respect me?
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No, not until you earn it.
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Until then, I will never
see you as my equal.
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Smithers... wait!
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Yes, sir?
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In case you
didn't hear me,
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I said I will never
see you as my equal.
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I heard you very clearly, sir.
Excellent.
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Hmm. Here's a place
I can feel wanted.
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You, with the
six-pack-- you're in.
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You, with the
Ben Affleck chin
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and the Matt Damon
everything else.
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Guess what?
You're in!
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In, in, in.
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Uh, in your dreams.
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Oh, come on.
I've had a rough day.
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With the buzz cut
and the bow tie?
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This is a nightclub,
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not a John F. Kennedy
cabinet meeting.
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Can I have a
Scotch and water?
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My Scotch is
a Scotch and water.
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Business is slow, huh?
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00:03:46,411 --> 00:03:49,713
Yeah. Frankly, I'm surprised
you're not across the street,
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where they drink for fun,
instead of here,
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where, uh,
horrible addiction compels you.
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They won't let me in.
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No one wants an
executive assistant
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who only works out
six hours a day.
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If only this town
had a men's bar
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for the average-looking fellow.
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True admiration.
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00:04:05,563 --> 00:04:06,797
Self-made man.
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Kill the other two heads.
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True admiration.
Self-made man.
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Kill them before they suspect.
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Suspect what?
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Huh? Huh?
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Listen, what if I
helped you turn this bar
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into a hangout
for guys like me?
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Uh-huh.
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00:04:20,745 --> 00:04:22,512
Just so it's clear
what I'm proposing,
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00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:24,214
the men I'm talking
about are...
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...men... dinner parties.
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Whoa-ho-ho,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
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Uh, no offense, uh,
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but, uh,
I just ain't comfortable
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hanging around all night
with, uh, you know,
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whatchamacallit,
uh, swish kabobs.
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00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,327
Mm, yeah, right.
That's too bad.
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Could have been fun.
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Could have made
a little money.
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Yeah, you know,
thank you,
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but, uh, I'm very happy with
my clientele as they are.
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00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:47,938
Hey, Moe,
two more for me and my buddy.
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That was my grandmother's
wedding urinal!
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All right, that's it.
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00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:52,643
We are changing
this place up.
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Whoa, check that out!
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Stuff is getting done!
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Look at them renovations!
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And... finished!
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After this,
ain't no turning back.
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B-E! Four points.
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I challenge!
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Sorry, hobbits.
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00:05:13,531 --> 00:05:16,133
It's back to the
shire for you. Slam!
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Oh, gentlemen,
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there is no need
to head home so soon.
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Hmm...
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Ew! Isn't that the place
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where all those rats
committed suicide?
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Oh, it's totally different now.
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And it welcomes men
with a few extra pounds
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or a little less hair.
118
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- Ooh! Ooh! Mmm.
- What a great idea!
119
00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:39,436
What about
super-hairy Wonder Woman?
120
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No problem.
121
00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:44,127
Thank you
for humoring me.
122
00:05:52,136 --> 00:05:54,972
So, uh, what would
you gentlemen like?
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I mean, I know what you'd like,
124
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and, hey, why wouldn't you like it?
125
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,111
Oh, ain't being comfortable
with something weird the best?
126
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I'm gonna pour some beers now.
127
00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:08,552
Huh?
128
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,187
Hey, something's
different about Moe's.
129
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There's no
chicks here.
130
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There's never
any chicks here.
131
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Somehow, there's more no
chicks here than usual.
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Something's
changed.
133
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:20,530
There's a sense of
acceptance in the air.
134
00:06:20,598 --> 00:06:22,866
Hey, what's that guy doing
in the men's room?
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He's washing his hands.
136
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I'm never gonna get that image
out of my head.
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Look, I have turned this bar
into every other kind of bar,
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and it never worked.
139
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Total disaster.
140
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A complete bomb.
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Utter failure.
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Uh, dream I painted.
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00:06:39,684 --> 00:06:41,051
And in this economy,
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a man needs
to find new customers
145
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while keeping
his old best friends.
146
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So, what do you say?
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Hey, there's nothing
against it in the bible.
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Hmm...
149
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Uh-huh.
150
00:06:51,562 --> 00:06:53,163
Wait a minute!
151
00:06:53,231 --> 00:06:55,565
Your standard
markup is 400%?
152
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,000
Now give me that!
153
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:58,735
Don't you dare question
the gospel
154
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,904
according to Dr. Swig McJigger.
155
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He's drinking
his own brains.
156
00:07:08,982 --> 00:07:11,251
Children,
I have an announcement.
157
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Today is my last day
as your music teacher.
158
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Come on, pretend
he meant something to you.
159
00:07:19,546 --> 00:07:21,747
- Stay! Stay, please!
- Don't go! No!
160
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Oh, bless your little hearts.
161
00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:24,884
This is a happy thing.
162
00:07:24,952 --> 00:07:27,086
I met my soul mate
at a local tavern.
163
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There he is!
164
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Aw.
165
00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:32,325
I'm not the soul mate!
166
00:07:32,392 --> 00:07:33,559
I'm dating one
of your mothers.
167
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,961
I-I forget whose.
168
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:36,529
Anyway, I-I'm here
169
00:07:36,596 --> 00:07:39,231
to introduce your new
music teacher, Ms. Juniper.
170
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:41,701
Honey, just teach the one
171
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with the starfish head,
and you'll be okay.
172
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Teach?
173
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,340
You can't teach music.
174
00:07:47,407 --> 00:07:49,241
You embrace music.
175
00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:50,810
Oh, you inhale music.
176
00:07:50,877 --> 00:07:53,179
You roll around
in a pile of music until...
177
00:07:54,748 --> 00:07:57,717
...the scent of music
is on you forever!
178
00:07:57,784 --> 00:07:59,652
Mm, good luck with that.
179
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,253
Tick-tock, Dewey!
180
00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:03,122
Tanglewood beckons!
181
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:04,290
Coming, Dewey!
182
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,992
We're both named Dewey.
183
00:08:06,059 --> 00:08:07,626
Drum roll, please!
184
00:08:11,498 --> 00:08:13,299
You know, this is
the first time
185
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,101
I've ever been at Moe's
186
00:08:15,168 --> 00:08:17,837
without that little voice
in the back of my head saying,
187
00:08:17,904 --> 00:08:20,239
"This is not a safe place
to drink."
188
00:08:20,307 --> 00:08:22,675
Check out my
tolerance, Marge.
189
00:08:22,743 --> 00:08:25,044
I'm going to use
the men's room.
190
00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:27,813
Hey, I didn't know
you were,
191
00:08:27,881 --> 00:08:29,515
uh, you know,
one of those...
192
00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:31,083
I am not Comic Book Guy.
193
00:08:31,151 --> 00:08:33,452
I am his cousin, Comic Book Gay.
194
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,287
But you do like comic books.
195
00:08:35,355 --> 00:08:37,456
Certain kinds.
196
00:08:37,524 --> 00:08:40,159
Oh, honey, no one's gonna
believe that wig is real.
197
00:08:40,227 --> 00:08:41,494
What do you mean, wig?
198
00:08:41,561 --> 00:08:43,095
And about that voice.
199
00:08:43,163 --> 00:08:44,530
Hmm. What's wrong
with her voice?
200
00:08:44,598 --> 00:08:46,032
Steve, is that you?
201
00:08:46,099 --> 00:08:47,867
I'm gonna knock
you inside out.
202
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:49,568
Doctor already did.
203
00:08:49,636 --> 00:08:51,270
Hey, Moe!
Looking good.
204
00:08:51,338 --> 00:08:53,205
Mm-hmm.
205
00:08:53,273 --> 00:08:54,907
He is cute with a
capital scrumptious.
206
00:08:54,975 --> 00:08:57,043
Uh, Moe,
207
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:58,344
tomorrow's Gay Day
at Krustyland.
208
00:08:58,412 --> 00:08:59,578
Want to come?
209
00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:01,213
Oh. Oh, Grizzly Shawn,
210
00:09:01,281 --> 00:09:04,150
that-that's so nice of you
to think of me, but, uh,
211
00:09:04,217 --> 00:09:05,785
the Tony Awards are that night,
212
00:09:05,852 --> 00:09:07,953
and I'll be too keyed up
to have fun.
213
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:09,488
Maybe some other time.
214
00:09:09,556 --> 00:09:13,025
Moe, do these guys think
you're one of them?
215
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:15,227
Why would they think that?
216
00:09:15,295 --> 00:09:21,901
Oh, I love you,
Neil Patrick Hairless.
217
00:09:27,841 --> 00:09:30,709
Huh. Yeah, maybe I
should clear the air.
218
00:09:33,146 --> 00:09:35,314
Uh, excuse me, fellas.
Excuse me!
219
00:09:35,382 --> 00:09:36,849
First of all, thank you.
220
00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:39,085
This bar was on its last legs.
221
00:09:39,152 --> 00:09:41,253
I was gonna have
to move in with Ma,
222
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:42,855
who's dead
and doesn't have a house.
223
00:09:42,923 --> 00:09:44,523
So, would not have been good.
224
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:46,392
Oh, yeah, that's true.
No, no, no. Makes sense.
225
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,261
But now there's, uh... There's
something I got to tell youse.
226
00:09:49,329 --> 00:09:51,647
Um...
227
00:09:54,568 --> 00:09:56,102
If you tell them
you're straight,
228
00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:57,636
they just might go
somewhere else.
229
00:09:57,704 --> 00:09:59,171
All right, all right,
good point,
230
00:09:59,239 --> 00:10:00,973
but, uh, let's hear
from Angel Moe.
231
00:10:01,041 --> 00:10:02,808
I am Angel Moe.
232
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:12,184
So, anyway, uh,
what I wanted to say was, uh...
233
00:10:12,252 --> 00:10:13,719
everybody vogue!
234
00:10:27,334 --> 00:10:29,068
Children, if I learned anything
235
00:10:29,136 --> 00:10:31,036
from my years as a groupie
236
00:10:31,104 --> 00:10:34,373
for the Dave Matthews Band,
it was to listen.
237
00:10:34,441 --> 00:10:35,841
So now you listen...
238
00:10:35,909 --> 00:10:39,345
to the string quartet of birds,
river and wind and...
239
00:10:41,014 --> 00:10:42,781
We haven't met...
240
00:10:42,849 --> 00:10:44,450
...but something terrible
has happened.
241
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:48,354
You misfiled the...
permission slips.
242
00:10:48,421 --> 00:10:50,689
You keep the green.
I need the white.
243
00:10:53,093 --> 00:10:56,162
Hey, come back to Earth,
Mr. Permission Man.
244
00:10:56,229 --> 00:10:57,563
You're all right.
245
00:10:57,631 --> 00:11:01,233
♪ Jennifer Juniper ♪
246
00:11:01,301 --> 00:11:04,036
♪ Lives up on the hill ♪
247
00:11:04,104 --> 00:11:07,840
♪ Jennifer Juniper ♪
248
00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:12,678
♪ Sitting very still ♪
249
00:11:12,729 --> 00:11:15,664
♪ Is she sleeping?
I don't think so ♪
250
00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:19,685
♪ Is she breathing?
Yes, very low ♪
251
00:11:19,753 --> 00:11:24,389
♪ Whatcha doing,
Jennifer, my love? ♪
252
00:11:27,027 --> 00:11:30,729
♪ Jennifer Juniper ♪
253
00:11:30,797 --> 00:11:34,967
♪ Rides a dappled mare ♪
♪ Strum, strum, strum... ♪
254
00:11:35,035 --> 00:11:37,303
♪ Jennifer Juniper... ♪
255
00:11:38,738 --> 00:11:42,107
Well, sir, what do you
think of my business?
256
00:11:42,175 --> 00:11:43,876
Ooh, a splendid
gentlemen's club.
257
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:46,979
You've earned my respect.
258
00:11:50,317 --> 00:11:54,787
Hey, Smithers, I didn't know
you were a geezer-pleaser.
259
00:11:54,854 --> 00:11:56,922
Having a "lemon party"?
260
00:11:56,990 --> 00:11:59,858
Ooh, a good old-fashioned
lemon party.
261
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,260
I call first squeeze.
262
00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:02,461
Mmm...
263
00:12:02,529 --> 00:12:05,331
Sir, we are way past
your bedtime.
264
00:12:05,398 --> 00:12:08,767
So, Moe, you wanna go
to a Grease sing-along?
265
00:12:08,835 --> 00:12:11,070
You can be the Doody
to my Frenchie.
266
00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:14,273
Oh, yeah, oh,
I'm so sorry, uh,
267
00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:17,076
but tonight I've got a
long-overdue manscaping.
268
00:12:17,143 --> 00:12:19,078
Yeah, but have fun.
269
00:12:19,145 --> 00:12:21,513
"'Cause you are
the one that I want."
270
00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:23,048
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪
271
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:25,784
Psst.
272
00:12:27,187 --> 00:12:28,621
Moe, have you
been telling
273
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:30,356
the men here
that you're...
274
00:12:30,423 --> 00:12:31,924
"one of them"?
275
00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:34,727
Hey, it's the bartender's job
to agree with the customer.
276
00:12:34,794 --> 00:12:37,563
Now, enough chitchat, I gotta
put up this new painting.
277
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,431
Mm-hmm.
278
00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:41,967
A Tom of Shelbyville?
279
00:12:42,035 --> 00:12:43,702
Just relax there, Waylon.
280
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,237
We got a great
thing goin' on.
281
00:12:45,305 --> 00:12:47,640
Now we can afford
real bowls of pretzels
282
00:12:47,707 --> 00:12:50,242
instead of trompe l'oeiling
them on the bar.
283
00:12:51,711 --> 00:12:52,645
Huh?
284
00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,182
Ah. Got one.
285
00:13:07,136 --> 00:13:08,470
What am I doing
here, Seymour?
286
00:13:08,524 --> 00:13:10,491
The thing I'm planning
hasn't even gone off yet.
287
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,860
That wasn't me and
you're my alibi.
288
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,092
Yes, well...
289
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:20,196
I might have a crush
on the music sub, Ms. Juniper.
290
00:13:20,264 --> 00:13:21,764
Simpson, here's my plan.
291
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,534
Ms. Juniper is divorced,
292
00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:26,636
and her daughter Melody
is in the third grade.
293
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:28,404
Oh, yeah, her.
294
00:13:28,472 --> 00:13:30,773
Classic
space case.
295
00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:33,810
Well, if you took
"space case" on a date
296
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:36,779
and brought me to chaperone
along with her mother...
297
00:13:36,847 --> 00:13:38,314
I see how it is.
298
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,750
You get a booty call
and I get a cootie call.
299
00:13:40,818 --> 00:13:42,785
Well, it's gonna cost ya.
300
00:13:42,853 --> 00:13:44,787
How would you like two weeks
of spring break?
301
00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:47,924
Triple spring break plus
four weeks at Christmas.
302
00:13:47,991 --> 00:13:51,594
No, but... no, if, if the state
finds out, they'll shut us down.
303
00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:53,229
Okay, have fun dying alone.
304
00:13:53,297 --> 00:13:54,163
Deal.
305
00:13:57,034 --> 00:13:59,969
I can't believe I'm playing
videogames with Bart Simpson.
306
00:14:00,037 --> 00:14:02,405
I've sketched you so many
times in my dream journal.
307
00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:05,041
Great, baby.
308
00:14:05,108 --> 00:14:06,259
Get me some more tokens.
309
00:14:09,613 --> 00:14:13,516
Oh, Bart rides that board
with a passion
310
00:14:13,584 --> 00:14:15,451
of an Arapaho ghost dancer.
311
00:14:15,519 --> 00:14:18,087
You know, passion has always
been a passion of mine.
312
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:23,626
Uh, something else about me
313
00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:26,529
is that I'm thinking of
becoming an excellent cook.
314
00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:29,999
♪ Would you love her?
Yes, I would, sir ♪
315
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,567
Dance with me.
316
00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:34,437
What? Here? Right next
to the Nacho-Cano?
317
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:35,705
I like you, Seymour.
318
00:14:35,772 --> 00:14:36,906
You do?
319
00:14:36,974 --> 00:14:38,507
But why?
320
00:14:38,575 --> 00:14:41,327
I mean, but why?
Shh-shh-shh.
321
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:43,646
Words are your enemy, my love.
322
00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:45,648
Melody is staying at
her father's tonight,
323
00:14:45,716 --> 00:14:48,184
and, well, I can't
dance by myself...
324
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:49,685
although I do.
325
00:14:51,822 --> 00:14:53,789
Can you believe it?
326
00:14:53,857 --> 00:14:55,958
Oh, this is an outrage.
327
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:57,393
This morning
I was like...
328
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,327
♪ Ding-a-ling-a-ling. ♪
329
00:14:58,395 --> 00:14:59,629
and now I'm like...
330
00:14:59,696 --> 00:15:01,931
♪ Dong-dong-dong. ♪
331
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:03,532
Boys, relax,
332
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,602
have a drink
and tell Mama Moe all about it.
333
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:08,437
The city won't
let us march
334
00:15:08,505 --> 00:15:10,740
in the Springfield
Founder's Parade.
335
00:15:10,807 --> 00:15:11,807
Well, who needs them?
336
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:13,376
We can have our own parade.
337
00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:15,778
We do. We have,
like, 20 of them.
338
00:15:15,846 --> 00:15:18,614
But we're sick of being
second-class citizens.
339
00:15:18,682 --> 00:15:20,182
Things will never change
340
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,385
until one of us
is on the town council.
341
00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:24,053
Moe should run.
342
00:15:24,121 --> 00:15:27,323
He's the heart of this
town's gay community.
343
00:15:28,659 --> 00:15:29,825
Will you do it, Moe?
344
00:15:29,893 --> 00:15:30,960
Will you become
Springfield's
345
00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:32,929
first openly gay
city councilman?
346
00:15:32,996 --> 00:15:35,164
Heh. Well, I think
if you guys can manage
347
00:15:35,232 --> 00:15:37,500
to go into the voting booth
one at a time,
348
00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:39,535
then I can manage to win.
349
00:15:39,603 --> 00:15:41,337
Hooray for Moe!
350
00:15:41,405 --> 00:15:46,442
Moe, can I discuss an inventory
issue with you in the back room?
351
00:15:48,578 --> 00:15:50,713
You can't be these
people's leader
352
00:15:50,781 --> 00:15:52,848
if you're lying to them
about who you are.
353
00:15:52,916 --> 00:15:54,583
You're not gay.
354
00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:56,552
Whew. I thought
it was an inventory issue.
355
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,254
That's a big relief.
356
00:15:58,322 --> 00:16:01,190
Now don't worry, I'll
let them down easy.
357
00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:02,792
In four years!
358
00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:06,362
Yes! Your queen is back!
359
00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:10,169
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
360
00:16:10,258 --> 00:16:11,491
♪ Not literally ♪
361
00:16:11,559 --> 00:16:14,094
♪ It means that
I'm happy post-coitally ♪
362
00:16:14,161 --> 00:16:16,196
♪ It was on a school night... ♪
363
00:16:16,264 --> 00:16:17,831
Skinner!
364
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:20,200
That song needed
no lyrical improvement.
365
00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,002
Gary...
366
00:16:22,069 --> 00:16:24,638
Gary, you know
what you need?
367
00:16:24,705 --> 00:16:26,273
A little...
honey in your yogurt.
368
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:27,741
Skinner!
369
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:29,643
You're a regular Casanova.
370
00:16:29,710 --> 00:16:31,478
Or in English,
"new house."
371
00:16:32,647 --> 00:16:35,048
Come on, come to life!
372
00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:37,017
I swear I'll be nice to you.
373
00:16:37,084 --> 00:16:39,019
Can I do a handstand
against you?
374
00:16:39,086 --> 00:16:40,020
Sure.
375
00:16:42,423 --> 00:16:44,624
Melody, you're
a great girl,
376
00:16:44,692 --> 00:16:47,928
but I see you as
more of a sister,
377
00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:49,896
and I don't like my sister.
378
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:53,633
You're breaking up with me...
upside down?
379
00:16:53,701 --> 00:16:58,204
Raggedy Ann was
so right about you.
380
00:16:58,272 --> 00:17:00,573
Thanks to you, Melody's
mother is so upset,
381
00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:02,442
she's moving them out of town.
382
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,177
Good-bye, Seymour.
383
00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:07,614
Think of me whenever you see
a tattoo you don't understand.
384
00:17:07,682 --> 00:17:10,984
Calliope, is there anything
I can say to make you stay?
385
00:17:11,052 --> 00:17:13,253
No. But you can say
you'll come with us.
386
00:17:13,321 --> 00:17:14,754
Leave with you?
387
00:17:14,822 --> 00:17:16,556
I'll have to check with Mother.
388
00:17:16,624 --> 00:17:18,458
MRS. SKINNER:
Seymour, I found a ticket stub
389
00:17:18,526 --> 00:17:20,193
for a James Bond movie
in your pants.
390
00:17:20,261 --> 00:17:22,195
Explain yourself!
391
00:17:22,263 --> 00:17:25,265
Well, it-it, uh... took place
in a country we teach about.
392
00:17:25,333 --> 00:17:27,434
Fibs break baby Jesus's ribs.
393
00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:31,137
Look, I don't know
how long this will last.
394
00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:32,472
It could be a day.
395
00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:34,207
It could be the rest
of our lives.
396
00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:37,277
But you'll never know
unless you take this chance.
397
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:39,846
Give yourself permission.
398
00:17:50,191 --> 00:17:52,559
Willie, you're principal now.
399
00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:53,727
Really?
400
00:17:53,794 --> 00:17:55,328
Who's the new groundskeeper?
401
00:17:55,396 --> 00:17:57,364
Also you, and you
don't get more money.
402
00:17:57,431 --> 00:17:59,299
Ach.
Yes.
403
00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:12,012
My name is Moe Szyslak,
and I'm here to elect me.
404
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,581
Hello, Moe.
405
00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:15,949
Uh, hey there.
406
00:18:16,017 --> 00:18:19,152
Well, it's my business
partner, Mr. Smithers.
407
00:18:19,220 --> 00:18:21,021
Nice of you to drop by
408
00:18:21,088 --> 00:18:23,723
and not say nothin' that
costs nobody no election.
409
00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:26,059
But Moe, how can
you be their leader
410
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,194
when you're not
one of them?
411
00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:29,195
Oh!
412
00:18:29,263 --> 00:18:30,230
I am one of them.
413
00:18:30,297 --> 00:18:31,698
I only read Hustler
414
00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:33,800
to see the pictures
of Larry Flynt.
415
00:18:33,868 --> 00:18:34,801
Sounds great.
416
00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:35,969
But first, answer me this:
417
00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,670
Do you find me attractive?
418
00:18:37,738 --> 00:18:39,639
Oh, yeah, yeah.
419
00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:42,142
Like all gays, I'm
attracted to all men.
420
00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:45,578
Most insidious stereotype ever.
421
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:46,980
You're cute.
422
00:18:47,048 --> 00:18:48,048
You want to go out
later?
423
00:18:48,115 --> 00:18:50,316
Whoever said that, yes.
424
00:18:50,384 --> 00:18:52,886
All right, if you're
attracted to me,
425
00:18:52,953 --> 00:18:54,421
then kiss me, Moe.
426
00:18:56,157 --> 00:18:59,492
Okay, okay, uh,
prepare to be kissed.
427
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,995
Ha, here we go.
428
00:19:02,063 --> 00:19:04,864
Giving in to my
natural urges.
429
00:19:04,932 --> 00:19:07,867
Okay, a few jumping
jacks just to warm up.
430
00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:12,539
Okay, here comes
the airplane.
431
00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,713
I'm sorry, everyone.
432
00:19:20,781 --> 00:19:22,248
Oh, this is the most
embarrassing thing
433
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:23,883
I've ever had
to say, but...
434
00:19:23,951 --> 00:19:24,984
I ain't gay!
435
00:19:26,153 --> 00:19:27,987
Oh, Moe.
436
00:19:28,055 --> 00:19:30,190
How could you lie
about who you are
437
00:19:30,257 --> 00:19:32,459
when who we are
is all we are?
438
00:19:32,526 --> 00:19:34,027
I didn't mean to.
439
00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:36,362
At first, I was only gay
for your money.
440
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:39,566
And, and I had real, deep
feelings for that money.
441
00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:41,835
But then I-I felt accepted
by you
442
00:19:41,902 --> 00:19:44,270
in a way
that I'd never been before.
443
00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:46,539
I just wish
you people could know
444
00:19:46,607 --> 00:19:48,842
what it's like
to want acceptance.
445
00:19:48,909 --> 00:19:51,010
Well, so who you
gonna vote for?
446
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:53,813
Me, or a Republican
whose record is so anti-gay,
447
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:56,349
he's clearly secretly super gay.
448
00:19:57,751 --> 00:19:59,385
Now we don't know
who to vote for,
449
00:19:59,453 --> 00:20:01,321
the liar or the denier.
450
00:20:01,388 --> 00:20:03,289
Once again the powers that be
451
00:20:03,357 --> 00:20:07,260
have spurned our request
for basic human equality.
452
00:20:07,328 --> 00:20:10,930
Must not the heavens
themselves cry with rage?
453
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,235
How did you do that?
454
00:20:15,302 --> 00:20:17,837
Classical training.
455
00:20:21,475 --> 00:20:23,243
I'm very sorry.
456
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,378
I-I had to do what
I thought was right.
457
00:20:25,446 --> 00:20:27,881
Well, as long as I
got nothin' to lose.
458
00:20:30,351 --> 00:20:31,951
Not bad.
459
00:20:32,019 --> 00:20:34,721
Like Frisbee golf,
I'm glad I tried it once.
460
00:20:39,827 --> 00:20:41,327
What happened?
461
00:20:41,395 --> 00:20:43,062
Well, it could
have been a day,
462
00:20:43,130 --> 00:20:45,064
it could have been
the rest of my life.
463
00:20:45,132 --> 00:20:46,199
And?
464
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:48,768
It was only a day.
465
00:20:48,836 --> 00:20:50,603
You've been gone
for three months.
466
00:20:50,671 --> 00:20:51,905
Groovy.
467
00:20:58,712 --> 00:21:00,713
Puttin' everything back.
468
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,515
Undo. Undo. Undo.
469
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,652
Sports page back
over the urinal, and done.
470
00:21:05,719 --> 00:21:07,387
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
471
00:21:07,454 --> 00:21:11,090
♪ Jennifer Juniper ♪
472
00:21:11,158 --> 00:21:15,028
♪ Sitting very still ♪
473
00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:19,334
♪ Is she sleeping?
I don't think so ♪
474
00:21:20,129 --> 00:21:23,531
♪ is she breathing?
Yes, very low ♪
475
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:27,702
♪ whatcha doing,
jennifer, my love? ♪
476
00:21:30,773 --> 00:21:34,342
♪ jennifer juniper ♪
477
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:37,946
♪ rides a dappled mare ♪
478
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:39,481
♪ jennifer... ♪
479
00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:41,716
Shh!