1 00:00:45,916 --> 00:00:47,116 D'oh! 2 00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:54,724 You! 3 00:00:57,411 --> 00:01:00,929 ♪ The Simpsons 22x13 ♪ The Blue and the Gray Original Air Date on February 13, 2011 4 00:01:00,997 --> 00:01:04,666 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 5 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,105 DEAN MARTIN: ♪ You're nobody ♪ 6 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:11,190 ♪ Till somebody ♪ 7 00:01:11,274 --> 00:01:12,658 ♪ Loves you ♪ 8 00:01:14,745 --> 00:01:17,079 ♪ You're nobody ♪ 9 00:01:17,147 --> 00:01:18,331 ♪ Till somebody cares ♪ 10 00:01:33,213 --> 00:01:34,847 Da-yee... 11 00:01:38,201 --> 00:01:40,169 You know, 12 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,604 I love our Valentine's Day tradition 13 00:01:41,671 --> 00:01:43,389 of going out with each other's sisters. 14 00:01:43,473 --> 00:01:45,524 Is there anything better than my best friend's face 15 00:01:45,609 --> 00:01:48,060 on a girl body? Not that I can think of. 16 00:01:48,145 --> 00:01:49,762 Nothing better. 17 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:52,214 Boy, I love Valentine's Day. 18 00:01:52,282 --> 00:01:55,451 Stir a drop of Jagermeister into some pink lemonade, 19 00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:57,486 slice in some strawberry ChapStick, 20 00:01:57,554 --> 00:01:58,971 Mmm... call it Cupid's ambrosia, 21 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,640 and you can charge up to the wazoo. 22 00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:04,710 Now all you need are customers. 23 00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:08,831 Well, better get home to the little woman. 24 00:02:11,268 --> 00:02:12,735 Do you have plans for tonight? 25 00:02:12,803 --> 00:02:14,704 What, are you crazy? Of course I do. 26 00:02:14,771 --> 00:02:16,105 Got a hot date. 27 00:02:16,173 --> 00:02:18,307 Come on, scram, so I can get ready. 28 00:02:20,711 --> 00:02:22,745 I'm telling you, I'm fine. 29 00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:23,946 I never been happier. 30 00:02:24,014 --> 00:02:25,281 See? There. 31 00:02:25,348 --> 00:02:27,083 There, that's a smile, right? 32 00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:29,452 Showing teeth, eyes all crinkly. 33 00:02:33,557 --> 00:02:35,758 Hey, hey, stop opening doors! 34 00:02:39,062 --> 00:02:42,698 TV ANNOUNCER: Coming up next on World of War, Hmm? 35 00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:45,901 "Hitler and Eva Braun: Crazy in Love." 36 00:02:45,969 --> 00:02:47,837 Even you let me down, Hitler! 37 00:02:47,904 --> 00:02:50,740 Hey, you! Spending Valentine's Day by yourself? 38 00:02:50,807 --> 00:02:52,074 Huhza? 39 00:02:52,142 --> 00:02:53,926 If you're watching this alone, 40 00:02:53,994 --> 00:02:57,263 your love life is like Sister Act 3-- no Whoopi! 41 00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,932 I knew my love life was like that movie somehow. 42 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,135 Well, I'm gonna tell you my secrets right now... 43 00:03:03,203 --> 00:03:06,372 if "right now" means tomorrow night at my seminar 44 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,374 at the Springfield Airport Motor Lodge. 45 00:03:08,442 --> 00:03:09,608 So, if you're ready 46 00:03:09,676 --> 00:03:11,160 to turn from couch potato 47 00:03:11,228 --> 00:03:12,895 to sex tornado, 48 00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:16,766 come and see me, Dr. Kissingher. 49 00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:18,467 Eh, what have I got to lose. 50 00:03:18,535 --> 00:03:20,035 They say for every man 51 00:03:20,103 --> 00:03:22,204 somewhere on Earth there's one woman. 52 00:03:38,505 --> 00:03:40,172 Homer! 53 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,975 We only have five minutes until the school bus comes. 54 00:03:43,043 --> 00:03:45,978 Drive my kids to school! Never! 55 00:03:49,332 --> 00:03:51,800 Stupid double snuggler's hitch! 56 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,401 Only hope is to chew off my leg! 57 00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:56,435 Ow! 58 00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,737 Ow! 59 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,037 Mmm, not bad. 60 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:02,842 Just 127 more hours. 61 00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:07,846 Wha...? 62 00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:14,952 My first gray hair! 63 00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,954 Oh, Marge, don't worry. 64 00:04:17,022 --> 00:04:19,424 A lot of movie stars have gray hair, 65 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:22,493 like all those women we loved in the '80s. 66 00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:26,430 Homie, you always mean to say 67 00:04:26,498 --> 00:04:28,532 the nicest things. 68 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,935 Well, it's not easy with you talking all the time. 69 00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:41,911 Uh, excuse me, is this the seminar 70 00:04:41,978 --> 00:04:44,647 where you learn how to pick up free escorts? 71 00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:47,316 Well, we're not learning how to fold cloth napkins. 72 00:04:47,384 --> 00:04:51,454 Well, I got excited for nothing. 73 00:04:51,522 --> 00:04:53,254 MAN Gentlemen, 74 00:04:53,322 --> 00:04:56,190 prepare for the potentate of the potent date, 75 00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:59,594 the know-it-all of the protocol of the booty call, 76 00:04:59,662 --> 00:05:04,065 Dr. Kiss... ing... her! 77 00:05:07,603 --> 00:05:09,904 Once we were single-celled organisms 78 00:05:09,971 --> 00:05:12,105 who could replicate whenever we wanted. 79 00:05:13,642 --> 00:05:15,643 We were men back then! 80 00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:17,778 But today we need more help. Who's first? 81 00:05:17,846 --> 00:05:20,648 You! The guy who's been here since 3:00 this afternoon. 82 00:05:20,715 --> 00:05:23,050 It's hell to meet girls when you're paid in chickens. 83 00:05:23,117 --> 00:05:25,585 Okay, I'm a sexy girl, and research shows 84 00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:27,554 that my decision to sleep with you 85 00:05:27,621 --> 00:05:30,056 happens in the first 6.5 seconds. 86 00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:31,157 Go! 87 00:05:31,224 --> 00:05:32,559 Eh, my name's Willie, 88 00:05:32,626 --> 00:05:35,027 and, uh, all I do is get drunk 89 00:05:35,095 --> 00:05:37,196 and kill squirrels with me shovel. 90 00:05:37,355 --> 00:05:40,957 Okay, now I'll translate that into romance language. 91 00:05:42,459 --> 00:05:43,826 Hi. I'm William. 92 00:05:43,894 --> 00:05:45,828 I'm a connoisseur of fine spirits, 93 00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:48,064 and I love animals to death. 94 00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:49,799 Do me next! Do me next! 95 00:05:49,867 --> 00:05:51,834 Ah! A monster! Save me! 96 00:05:51,902 --> 00:05:54,270 Sorry, that was unprofessional. 97 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:55,605 Please, go on. 98 00:05:55,673 --> 00:05:56,772 Name's Moe Szyslak. 99 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,674 As a kid, I had roundworm. 100 00:05:58,741 --> 00:06:01,710 Heck, I was more worm than boy for a couple of years. 101 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,178 I dabbled in Satanism 102 00:06:03,245 --> 00:06:04,947 until I was asked to leave. 103 00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:08,450 Oh, and one month, I ate nothing but aquarium fish. 104 00:06:08,517 --> 00:06:10,652 Your only hope is to use a wingman. 105 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,220 Uh, what's a wingman? 106 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,221 A wingman is a friend... Whoa, whoa, whoa. 107 00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:15,890 Now I got to find a friend? 108 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,792 You need someone who's secretly on your side, 109 00:06:17,859 --> 00:06:19,794 making you look good to women. 110 00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:22,930 But he can't more handsome or appealing than you. Okay, 111 00:06:22,998 --> 00:06:25,165 let's take a flip through the old Moe-lodex. 112 00:06:25,233 --> 00:06:26,266 Ooh. 113 00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:28,902 Bingo. That was a weird day. 114 00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:31,170 Sir, would you be my wingman? 115 00:06:31,238 --> 00:06:32,739 We could try it out this weekend 116 00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:34,841 at the "Faculty Follies" after-party. 117 00:06:34,909 --> 00:06:38,211 One thing-- what if there's a woman we both like? 118 00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:40,981 Well, we'll use the time-honored "I saw her first" rule. 119 00:06:41,048 --> 00:06:44,484 What if I see her hand at the same time you see her face? 120 00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,184 Face beats hand! 121 00:06:48,088 --> 00:06:50,222 So, after dinner I cut his hair, 122 00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:52,658 and he readjusted my mortgage. 123 00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:54,893 That's what he does. 124 00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:57,496 And how was your Valentine's Day? 125 00:06:57,563 --> 00:06:59,464 Very romantic. 126 00:06:59,532 --> 00:07:03,101 Homer had the basketball game muted the whole time. 127 00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:05,402 Oh, and then I found a gray hair-- no big deal. 128 00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:07,071 Mmm. 129 00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:09,607 Marge, it's time I told you the truth. 130 00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,644 You've been grayer than a Seattle Cinco de Mayo 131 00:07:12,711 --> 00:07:13,978 for years now. 132 00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:16,114 Really? 133 00:07:16,181 --> 00:07:18,448 Yes, the dye not only colors your hair, 134 00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:21,384 but the fumes wipe the experience from your mind. 135 00:07:21,452 --> 00:07:23,386 Jimothy, Aquanetta, 136 00:07:23,454 --> 00:07:24,487 is touch-up time! 137 00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:26,189 Gloves and foil, people! 138 00:07:26,257 --> 00:07:28,191 Let's go! Crinkle, crinkle! 139 00:07:28,259 --> 00:07:29,993 Whoa! Whoa! 140 00:07:32,363 --> 00:07:34,196 Oh, Janis, I'm so sorry. 141 00:07:34,264 --> 00:07:35,731 Can we reschedule? 142 00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:38,000 It's a battle of the Blue and Gray here, 143 00:07:38,068 --> 00:07:40,502 and I am Gaybraham Lincoln, baby. 144 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:42,772 Oh, that's okay. I only needed a touch-up. 145 00:07:42,839 --> 00:07:44,740 My husband and I can use the time 146 00:07:44,808 --> 00:07:47,877 to take a long, romantic walk. 147 00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:51,379 Hmm, she doesn't seem so worried about her gray hair. 148 00:07:51,446 --> 00:07:54,716 Oh, her self-confidence doesn't come from a bottle. 149 00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:58,753 Now, let's rub this toxic blue goo onto your scalp. 150 00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:00,789 Mm-hmm. 151 00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,224 A little of that. 152 00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:04,758 Mix it up. 153 00:08:04,826 --> 00:08:06,026 Mm-hmm. 154 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:13,967 Hmm. 155 00:08:19,774 --> 00:08:21,741 I brought home fried chicken. 156 00:08:21,809 --> 00:08:24,543 And a completely new hairstyle. 157 00:08:28,315 --> 00:08:31,150 A completely new hairstyle. 158 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,134 So, what do you think? 159 00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:41,071 She wants an honest answer. What do we do? 160 00:08:41,139 --> 00:08:42,640 I don't know. I don't know! 161 00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:43,841 We could fake a stroke. 162 00:08:43,908 --> 00:08:45,276 The last time we faked a stroke, 163 00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:46,711 it led to a real one. 164 00:08:46,778 --> 00:08:48,112 We're running out of time, people. 165 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:50,448 We need an answer, and it has to be great! 166 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,952 So... chicken. 167 00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:57,387 Hmm. 168 00:08:57,455 --> 00:08:58,821 D'oh! 169 00:08:58,889 --> 00:09:02,292 Well, what do you kids think of the real me? Huh? 170 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,660 I love it. 171 00:09:03,728 --> 00:09:05,562 I know I use the word "empowering" a lot, 172 00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,764 but this time, it really is that. 173 00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,164 I just have one question about hair. 174 00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:10,832 Where does mine start? 175 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,735 Head, head, head, hair. 176 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,236 Where's the border? 177 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,705 Oh, my God. Me, too! 178 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,108 What are we? 179 00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:21,777 What do you think, Homie? 180 00:09:21,844 --> 00:09:24,379 Sweetie, you've always been beautiful, 181 00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:26,914 but now you're my silver belle. 182 00:09:26,982 --> 00:09:29,550 Let me get the camera we use for precious moments 183 00:09:29,618 --> 00:09:31,152 and insurance claims. 184 00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,989 What has she done? 185 00:09:35,056 --> 00:09:36,658 I feel like I'm married to Richard Gere. 186 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:40,094 I can't talk now. I'm talking to myself. 187 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,528 No, no, Homer. Go ahead. 188 00:09:41,713 --> 00:09:43,179 Thanks, Homer. It'll just ba a minute. 189 00:09:43,247 --> 00:09:44,848 What's up? Hey, wingman, 190 00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,417 you're supposed to be here like you promised. 191 00:09:46,484 --> 00:09:49,119 Oh, thank you, prior obligation. 192 00:09:54,526 --> 00:09:56,426 I can't take it. 193 00:09:56,493 --> 00:09:58,994 I'm just going to draw a hairline on. 194 00:10:01,131 --> 00:10:03,098 So, basically, 195 00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:06,135 my job is to make you look good by comparison. 196 00:10:06,202 --> 00:10:08,971 Like West Virginia does for Virginia. 197 00:10:10,674 --> 00:10:14,175 The good doctor has just the prescription. 198 00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,177 "Jumping on the Grenade:" 199 00:10:16,245 --> 00:10:19,013 the wingman engages the less attractive friend, 200 00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:21,450 isolating the target. Voop! 201 00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:24,886 You ever notice that pizzas have gotten so small lately? 202 00:10:24,954 --> 00:10:26,354 They're like dimes. 203 00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:28,156 Yes, that's exactly it! 204 00:10:28,223 --> 00:10:30,558 Well, a girl could starve to death! 205 00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:33,026 Wow, your friend did something I could never do. 206 00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:34,528 What's that? 207 00:10:34,596 --> 00:10:36,029 Walk away from you. 208 00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:40,033 "Taking Down a Rival," aka "Talk Blocking." 209 00:10:41,536 --> 00:10:45,104 So, Lenny, ever get that rebar out of your head? 210 00:10:45,172 --> 00:10:46,439 No, they just sawed off the ends 211 00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:47,707 and painted over the nubs. 212 00:10:47,775 --> 00:10:49,843 Hey, where you going, baby? 213 00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:53,580 Oh, no, you don't. 214 00:10:56,817 --> 00:10:58,384 Nice talk-blocking. 215 00:10:58,452 --> 00:11:00,252 Would you be willing to wingman for me? 216 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,454 Well, I don't know. It's a lot of work. 217 00:11:02,522 --> 00:11:04,756 Oh, I just ordered this bottomless pitcher of beer 218 00:11:04,824 --> 00:11:06,881 and circumference-less platter of nachos. 219 00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:08,761 Deal! 220 00:11:08,829 --> 00:11:12,131 Need some cooling down, hot stuff? 221 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:17,573 Okay, just imagine she's a Bond girl. 222 00:11:17,641 --> 00:11:19,442 Oh! Judi Dench?! 223 00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:22,812 Kiss me, 007. 224 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,347 Good show, 225 00:11:24,415 --> 00:11:26,716 Mr. Bond. 226 00:11:33,656 --> 00:11:36,091 Help! My macaroni Marconi! 227 00:11:36,159 --> 00:11:37,126 Hmm? 228 00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:41,730 Bart, what happened to your Mom's hair? 229 00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:45,434 Did she see something scary like that vampire on Sesame Street? 230 00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:47,502 They should warn you when he's coming. 231 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:49,971 I don't want to talk about my Mom's hair. 232 00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:52,440 Right. It's just weird. 233 00:11:52,507 --> 00:11:54,242 Normally, I think your mom is hot... 234 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,944 Take that back! I'm sorry. 235 00:11:56,011 --> 00:11:58,046 What I mean is, she's not hot anymore. 236 00:11:58,113 --> 00:11:59,414 Take that back! 237 00:12:00,849 --> 00:12:02,383 So moody! 238 00:12:02,451 --> 00:12:04,919 Just like my mom on her "can't dance" days. 239 00:12:09,123 --> 00:12:10,790 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 240 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:15,195 Huh. Let's see what cousin Jessica's up to. 241 00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:21,733 There's a woman who's got it all under control. 242 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,271 Hmm? 243 00:12:25,339 --> 00:12:28,407 Ooh! 244 00:12:28,475 --> 00:12:31,710 Marge, your hair-- it's fantastic! 245 00:12:31,778 --> 00:12:33,379 Well, thank you. 246 00:12:33,447 --> 00:12:35,681 No, thank you for your bravery. 247 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,650 I hope I look half as good as you 248 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,486 when I give up. 249 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,588 Such audacity! 250 00:12:43,655 --> 00:12:45,823 Grandma had hair like that 251 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:48,960 when she went to sleep in her forever box. 252 00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:57,116 You can't listen to those women, Mom. 253 00:12:57,184 --> 00:12:58,650 Change threatens them. 254 00:12:58,718 --> 00:13:00,686 They didn't like it 255 00:13:00,754 --> 00:13:02,621 when the Springfield Shopper started printing in color. 256 00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:04,590 Neither did I. 257 00:13:04,657 --> 00:13:07,159 I didn't want to know what color the Statue of Liberty was. 258 00:13:07,227 --> 00:13:09,328 But you know what? I was wrong. 259 00:13:09,396 --> 00:13:10,763 And these ladies are, too. 260 00:13:12,531 --> 00:13:14,699 Ma'am, do you have any kind of a discount card? 261 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,334 What kind of card? 262 00:13:16,402 --> 00:13:19,670 Well, you know, maybe you belong to the A.A... 263 00:13:19,738 --> 00:13:21,606 The A.A.? No! 264 00:13:21,673 --> 00:13:23,174 Oh, no, I meant the A.A... 265 00:13:23,242 --> 00:13:24,742 A.A.A.? 266 00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:26,544 No, I'm not in Triple-A. 267 00:13:26,612 --> 00:13:29,280 I don't like their Westways magazine. 268 00:13:29,347 --> 00:13:30,948 They'll give four diamonds 269 00:13:31,016 --> 00:13:33,050 to any place that's got a lid on the toilet. 270 00:13:33,118 --> 00:13:36,486 No, I meant the A.A... R... 271 00:13:38,957 --> 00:13:41,191 P?! 272 00:13:41,259 --> 00:13:43,794 The A.A.R.P.?! 273 00:13:43,861 --> 00:13:46,095 Well, that tears it. 274 00:13:46,163 --> 00:13:48,965 I don't want this milk, and I'm not gonna take it back. 275 00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:52,135 That's okay. We have a young man who does that for you. 276 00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:53,636 Oh, right here, ma'am. 277 00:13:53,703 --> 00:13:55,271 Oh, boy, a put-back! 278 00:13:55,339 --> 00:13:57,941 I hope it takes me by the freezer section. 279 00:13:58,008 --> 00:14:01,743 Stick my head in the pizza case, it's like a ski vacation! 280 00:14:01,811 --> 00:14:04,879 I can imagine the pepperonis are Swiss chalets 281 00:14:04,948 --> 00:14:08,183 nestled in a big layer of mozzarella snow! 282 00:14:09,752 --> 00:14:12,587 Bart, eyewitnesses to your fight described you 283 00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:15,223 as "berserkoid," "totally aggro," 284 00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:18,159 and said you punched Milhouse, "like, 50 billion times." 285 00:14:18,226 --> 00:14:20,294 That's an excessive number of times. 286 00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:23,297 What's bothering you, son? 287 00:14:23,365 --> 00:14:25,466 I-I don't want to talk about it. 288 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,534 Thank God. I don't want to, either. 289 00:14:27,602 --> 00:14:32,405 Remember, Bart, anything you say here is confidential. 290 00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:34,007 Can we close the door? 291 00:14:34,075 --> 00:14:35,241 Oh, there is no door. 292 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,443 State regulations. 293 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:37,844 Hey, Bart! 294 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,512 Still freaking out 295 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:41,781 'cause your mom aged 30 years in a day? 296 00:14:41,849 --> 00:14:43,149 Don't judge them too harshly. 297 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,817 They recently learned 298 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,519 they were once two-thirds of conjoined triplets. 299 00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:48,387 And the third one is out for revenge. 300 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,523 Now, Bart, share your most intimate thoughts with me. 301 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,158 I don't think I want to. 302 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,027 Oh. Well, maybe it'd be easier 303 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,630 for you to talk to my colleague, Dr. Thera-bear. 304 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:01,566 Well... 305 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,568 Hold on. I'm not allowed in the room 306 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,436 while you talk to the bear. 307 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:11,709 All right, I know there's a camera in you somewhere. 308 00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:18,682 They never think to look behind the jazz-fest poster. 309 00:15:21,219 --> 00:15:22,919 So it's true. 310 00:15:22,987 --> 00:15:25,188 Your hair committed blue-icide. 311 00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:29,292 I thought you'd be more supportive. 312 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,860 I mean, you went gray yourselves. 313 00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,429 No, we didn't. 314 00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,631 This is just smoke and ash. 315 00:15:41,704 --> 00:15:43,205 So what does your husband, 316 00:15:43,273 --> 00:15:45,141 Vidal Baboon, think of the new look? 317 00:15:45,208 --> 00:15:46,608 He loves it! 318 00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:49,145 He calls me his silver belle. 319 00:15:49,212 --> 00:15:50,679 That means he hates it. 320 00:15:50,747 --> 00:15:52,480 If he really liked it, 321 00:15:52,548 --> 00:15:55,150 he'd just paw at it instead of getting all clever. 322 00:15:55,217 --> 00:15:56,684 Why are you always trying 323 00:15:56,752 --> 00:15:58,353 to cause trouble with me and Homer? 324 00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:00,422 Our marriage is rock solid! 325 00:16:00,489 --> 00:16:03,391 So, do you think Homer is gonna be at Club Zipless tonight? 326 00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:04,659 I sure hope so. 327 00:16:05,894 --> 00:16:07,495 Oops, dropped my stirrer. 328 00:16:07,563 --> 00:16:08,929 D'oh! D'oh! 329 00:16:10,498 --> 00:16:13,567 Well, Marge. Ready to kick Homer to the curb? 330 00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:15,469 I can bend him like Beckham. 331 00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:17,904 Sorry, but I'm fighting for my man! 332 00:16:17,972 --> 00:16:20,474 Give me a double espresso to go. 333 00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:22,008 Ma'am, are you sure that's wise, 334 00:16:22,077 --> 00:16:24,377 with what I presume is your heart condition? 335 00:16:24,445 --> 00:16:25,811 Ooh! 336 00:16:30,184 --> 00:16:31,350 Whoo! 337 00:16:31,418 --> 00:16:32,751 Go, granny, go! 338 00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:36,922 Aw, geez, she's coming back! 339 00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:38,224 Run, bullies, run! 340 00:16:49,099 --> 00:16:50,467 Look out, chicks. 341 00:16:50,501 --> 00:16:52,935 The silver fox is coming to the henhouse. 342 00:16:57,807 --> 00:17:00,542 I'm okay, I'm okay. 343 00:17:05,281 --> 00:17:06,615 Brambles! 344 00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:22,764 Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo! 345 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:31,271 I'm looking for Homer Simpson. 346 00:17:31,338 --> 00:17:33,006 What, did he eat your candy house 347 00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:34,708 and push you into the oven? 348 00:17:34,776 --> 00:17:37,176 Odd, that's what the valet just asked me. 349 00:17:37,244 --> 00:17:38,445 How ya doin'? 350 00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:39,979 Nice to see ya. Life is good? 351 00:17:40,047 --> 00:17:42,348 Can't complain. Can't or won't? 352 00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:45,418 You just crossed a line, pally. Mm. 353 00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:49,121 Oh, Homer, 354 00:17:49,188 --> 00:17:52,024 I've never seen a drunk hold his vomit like you. 355 00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:55,327 I do keep it together. 356 00:17:57,297 --> 00:17:58,696 Oh. Who is that? 357 00:17:58,764 --> 00:17:59,964 I don't know, but she looks... 358 00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:02,567 Uh-oh. Usually when it gets this quiet 359 00:18:02,635 --> 00:18:04,702 Mr. Burns is standing behind me. 360 00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:06,971 Actually, I'm standing in front of you. 361 00:18:07,039 --> 00:18:08,640 I decided to hit the local nighteries 362 00:18:08,707 --> 00:18:10,508 with my trusted wingman. 363 00:18:10,576 --> 00:18:11,843 I flew the first packet 364 00:18:11,911 --> 00:18:14,945 of royal mail across the Khyber Pass, 365 00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,113 dodging the poison-tipped spears 366 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,348 of the dreaded Zim-Zam Tribe. 367 00:18:20,084 --> 00:18:21,952 So, which of you wants to be the sliced haddock 368 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,087 in a geezer sandwich? 369 00:18:24,155 --> 00:18:27,524 Hmm. There's a lot of beefcake on the grill tonight. 370 00:18:27,592 --> 00:18:29,793 Get your hands off my husband! 371 00:18:31,628 --> 00:18:34,497 This is a situation I call "The Doctor Is O."." 372 00:18:34,565 --> 00:18:36,799 Marge, what are you doing here? 373 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,901 This bar is for singles and wingmen only. 374 00:18:38,969 --> 00:18:40,402 That's your wife? 375 00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:43,205 Do you see her as we see her? 376 00:18:49,311 --> 00:18:51,847 Marge, Marge, put down that broom. 377 00:18:51,914 --> 00:18:54,683 You've got nothing to be afraid of from them. 378 00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,485 I'm a wingman. 379 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,252 Part of a great tradition 380 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,522 including Val Kilmer from Top Gun, 381 00:19:00,590 --> 00:19:04,658 Wedge Antilles from Star Wars, and me, from now. 382 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:07,027 And you know why I'm a great wingman? 383 00:19:07,095 --> 00:19:08,562 Because I have the confidence 384 00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:12,265 that comes from knowing I get to go home to you. 385 00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:13,567 Oh. 386 00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:18,138 And you know what else this whole experience has taught me? 387 00:19:18,206 --> 00:19:21,340 True beauty isn't about hair color? 388 00:19:21,408 --> 00:19:22,642 Probably. 389 00:19:22,710 --> 00:19:24,377 But be honest... 390 00:19:24,444 --> 00:19:27,847 when I say "beautiful woman," what pops into your head? 391 00:19:34,021 --> 00:19:37,355 Well, I guess I do have a type. 392 00:19:40,894 --> 00:19:45,063 Mom, your choice to go back to blue is so empowering. 393 00:19:45,131 --> 00:19:48,233 But you said going from blue to gray was empowering. 394 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,068 Well, as a feminist, virtually anything 395 00:19:50,136 --> 00:19:52,637 a woman does is empowering. Oh. 396 00:19:52,704 --> 00:19:55,239 Is my job creating power, empowering? 397 00:19:55,306 --> 00:19:57,975 No. It's oddly dehumanizing. 398 00:19:58,043 --> 00:20:00,209 Hey, Dad, did you color your hair, too? 399 00:20:01,512 --> 00:20:03,813 Only my hairdresser knows for sure. 400 00:20:05,683 --> 00:20:07,617 Oh, hello, young man! 401 00:20:07,685 --> 00:20:09,085 Where's your father? 402 00:20:09,153 --> 00:20:11,220 He's dying in a retirement home. 403 00:20:11,288 --> 00:20:13,189 Now kiss me. 404 00:20:29,005 --> 00:20:32,607 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 405 00:21:14,348 --> 00:21:16,216 Shh!